A very Early Spring

This past weekend things got warm. Not warm for a February day, but warm for an April day. The temperature has been warm most of the week. It was not lower then the upper 30 and then this weekend it went into the 60's. Global Warming, sometimes you just got to love it.
     With the warm temperatures the girls and I started some yard work early. We got most of last years leaves up off the backyard.

Misha wants to help

It seems every year I don't get the leaves up before it snows. I do go out there and rake, but the neighbor has a tree, a huge tree that doesn't loose it's leaves until after December 1st and it usually snows shortly after that, not a lot, but who normally wants to rake leaves, much less rake them while they are wet and it has just snowed and it is cold out.
     I took pictures of the girls working outside. I promised each I would pay them for the work. The first picture is Elena working and the second is Nastia.
Nastia? yeah, she's supposed to be working behind where the dog is.

Nastia, where are you??

     Elena was a vegetarian for a while this winter. It was a bit of a hassle, so I think that is why she quit. Plus there are a lot of foods with meat in them that are fun to eat. Neither Kid has been very big on beef all their life. If you want to make their eyes light up put potatoes in front of them. That's the Russian weakness. Hey, Vodka is make from potatoes, go figure.
     Elena is also gotten into exercising. She likes going to the gym at the park on Conger's Lake and doing the treadmill. She then goes over to the bench and does several sets there. She starts out just lifting the bar, which weighs in the twenties. She later adds some fives to it. This pleases me very much. I was afraid when I first heard her doing this she would want to go for muscle mass and on a girls it never looks good. It looks like she is going for toning, which always looks good on women.
     I watched her train for a little while and I took her home after about two hours. It was interesting, I'd never been to this building in the park. The Girls discovered it a few years ago and wanted me to get them their passes to use it. I managed to get them up a few weeks ago, early on a Saturday and got them over to the town's parks dept. and it took all of a few minutes and just me showing my ID. I didn't have to try and explain that my Wife and I adopted them from Russia and all of their need paperwork is in Russian.  

Bang the car slowly*

* I doubt anyone will get the reference. It's a play off of the title of a book I read in the 70's called Bang the drum slowly. It was made into at least two movies, one with Paul Newman in the fifties and one in 73 with Michael Moriarty and new comer Robert DeNiro. I must of purchased the book without the knowledge of the film. I didn't see the second movie for years.

     Bang The Car Slowly, if you haven't guessed has nothing to do with the book or either of the two movies. The book and movies are about a baseball player that is dying of Hodgkin disease.
     Bank the Car Slowly is what happens when you pull into a parking space against a building and don't use the brake, ever. Both stories are a little bitter sweet and you feel bad for the main character.
     Except for DeNiro and Newman and the fact I read the book and it is the title of this piece, it has nothing to do with the story, 'Bang the Car Slowly' So I will not do a comparison between the two, because any comparison would come out mean and lord know who's mean, (no, not me, never).
     Bang the Car Slowly stars the dramatic actress (I hate they have stopped using that word, liberal assholes!! Don't get me wrong I hate Conservative/ Republican  Assholes even more. They are making liberals seem reasonable. Sorry about that. I had to get some poison out of my system.I mean whatever happened to the center! opps, doing it again, sorry) Dramatic Actress Anna Muller, yes, Anna Muller,
       Setting the scene: It is mid-winter, the sun is still up, last week her father commented how the days are getting longer and how it is now almost sunny out. Anna's first line is"Whaaaat?" She doesn't believe her father ...again. (Who'd blame her after telling her and Elena that during the inauguration of Donald Trump, They saw a kid walking in the parade. It was  Baron Trump and I said he was part of the Spy Kids division of the government. They didn't find it funny after I told them the truth.) Lets cut this short, You got to get back to work, and I don't get paid by the hour.
     Anna/Nastia Muller drives her father's car flawlessly to the bowling alley, no near misses like the red car from a few weeks ago. She pulls into the parking lot it is a little full, but not bad and heads towards the parking spot she has decided is her spot on Wednesday nights, She pulls in at a slow speed and just continues on, or at least tries to. We go up on the stop guard, you know the lump of cement held in place by bits of rebar spaced so you know to stop. About that time I yell something stupid. It wasn't stupid like stop, no it was stupid like slow down. By the time I yelled it was too late and I should of been yelling for a do over. Needless to say she hits the building.  I mean, what do you want the building was hiding and if I was driving that big black thing in front of me would of confused me too and yes I would of continued to go towards it until I stopped.
     What is done is done. From the passengers side I backed the car off the wall , got out, walked around to the front of the car and see a big scratch on the bumper, missed the popped drivers fender and then I walked inside. Haven't talked to her about it.
     The best part was when we drove home and I told her to pull into the parking lot at Shop Rite New City and she pulled into the turn lane and kept going, cutting of a car only, thank god. and then fighting me on parking the car. We're taking a brake, (no play on words there intended) from driving for a little while.
     I guess maybe I have pushed her a little too much or maybe she wasn't concentrating, I don't know, it scares me. After the near miss with the red car, Teri wanted her to wear her contacts and she was when all this happened. I just don't know.

Parenting 101: When it really does hurt me more then it does you.

In this time of not hitting your children the expression 'This is going to hurt me more then it does you' has been lost. I know hitting their children,being one of them at the time, made me feel bad, but I never thought about how they felt for doing it. Teri and I started out hitting a little and gave it up rather quickly, not to be stylish or anything, just because violence makes for violent people.
     This has nothing to do with what I'm going to talk about, it just happened to come into my head as I was thinking about what happened last night. And I guess, the expression, 'this is going to hurt me more then it does you' does apply.
     On Wednesday, Elena got in trouble in school. She was making comments about some of the students in her class and was not doing her work and just being a general pain and a bully. She was asked to leave class and Teri and I got an e-mail about it

Good morning!

I wanted to let you know that I asked Elena to leave class today.  She refuses to complete any work and her comments to other students are very inappropriate.  She comes to class very angry every day and takes it out on others.  She negatively comments on other students' answers and is making them feel uncomfortable.  These behaviors cannot be tolerated and she will be asked to leave the class and go to the assistant principal.  I have spoken with her many times and explained that she cannot behave in this manner. 

Thank you!

Kim Bennardo

Special Education

Clarkstown North High School

kbennardo@ccsd.edu

Click link to read our email disclaimer:
www.ccsd.edu/emaildisclaimer

Well, there is the proof.
     Our response was sent by Teri

I am so sorry about her behavior. I will have a talk with her, but please by all means do what you have to do. If she has to go to the principal's office pull detention, whatever needs to be done please do so. Thank you

Sent from my iPhone

 That was the environment Teri and I faced when I got home. I talked to Elena quietly and told her she was being a bully and when her mother and I talked there would be a punishment.
     When Teri got home she talked quietly with her and afterwards Teri and I talked about the punishment. Taking away her electronics doesn't seem to work so Teri came up with her writing fifty times 'I will treat anything with a heart the way I want to be treated.' I went to tell her the punishment, but I tweaked it,I gave her a choice of writing about being bullied in Russia in the orphanage or to write I will treat anything with a heart the way I want to be treated. I wanted her to think about how she felt when a kid bullied her in Russia. Guess which one she chose? I didn't know because she grabbed some paper and went to her room. She was given until Friday night to finish it.
     Between Thursday and Friday night she was good.

On Jan 18, 2017, at 3:01 PM, Bennardo, Kim <kbennardo@ccsd.edu> wrote:

Update - Elena was wonderful today!! She completed work and was very pleasant.  I am so proud of her!

Have a great night!

Kim Bennardo

Special Education

Clarkstown North High School

kbennardo@ccsd.edu

Things were going well right up to the point on Friday night that I remembered that Elena had not handed in her paper. So I go up to her room, it's about 9 pm, and ask her for her paper. I mean, what is a punishment worth if no one hands it in. Where would We be if after the Declaration of Independence thing went on the way they were. We'd all be speaking English instead of  American. We'd have a Queen Elizabeth instead of King Donald.
     Well of course she hadn't done it and I got smacked with a lot of waves of anger. It radiated off her like (here's another political joke) the hate a Trump supporter feels for Obama's Health Care program. ( Wait until They see what's coming.)
     Elena grabs a few sheets of paper and a pen and starts her writing. About an hour later I hear Elena talking to Teri.

     I'm upstairs in my bedroom, 10 pm passes, Nastia comes in and says 'good night', no Elena, about 11pm or so I realize I have been skipped. It seems I'm being punished for being true to my word.
     The next morning, she gets up, walks by me without saying anything and I think it is still going on. On her way back she does say 'good morning' like nothing happened. I guess nothing did happen. And the world will continue to turn, even if my feeling were hurt last night.

Talking and not watching the road

I guess We all know where this one is going. Let Me start by saying there was no accident, just a few more gray hairs on my overly gray and bald head.
     Nastia has been doing a lot of night driving. Her work behind the wheel is better every time she drives and so I push her to drive in harder places and maybe push her a little too much to be a little more aggressive behind the wheel. An example of this would be when she came to the intersection of Kings highway and Congers Rd, she was on Kings and wanted to turn left on to Congers to go over the Causeway. The Light was green and I would speed up and go through, she on the other hand stays the same speed, the light changes and she stops. I told her she should have sped up, she said no. That was a good thing. She was uncomfortable going through the light and said so. The only problem was when the light changed there were cars in the other direction some turning, some going straight and a car letting her go left. It was too much for her to take in a once and I had to tell her to go, someone is letting you turn. She did and it was OK.
     We go through the 'S' turn and hill were she has problems keeping the car in her lane and keeping up road speed and then we pass the North High School.
     As We are coming up on Brewery Rd, a red small car, like a Honda or something wants to turn left on to Brewery Rd. I'm watching the car as Nastia is asking me a question about the Hot Dog House and how will she know when they call her. While She is asking the question, I notice she has not slowed down or moved to the right and if things don't change soon We are going to end up in that poor unfortunate persons back seat. When it is obvious She's does not see the car I yell 'STOP!'. Thank God, with out hesitation She slams on the brakes. I watch us get closer and closer and think, 'We're not going to make it we're going to hit this guy. Through some luck or something other, the car stops short of hitting the red car. We sit there in silence for a few moments and the red car moves up a few feet. I smile and think it was good We didn't need that few feet.
     Nastia is still freaked about the almost hit and has trouble going around the car while there are other cars behind her. Finally the red car turns and we get to the Bowling Alley without any further adventure.
     I didn't talk about the almost accident until we were at the bowling alley. I asked her the question that will always be on my mind for the rest of my life. I asked, "Did You not see the car because it was dark?"
     Her reply was, "I wasn't paying attention and I can see fine."
For those who are not up on the subject of her eyes. I've told her and her sister the only people who can tell her they can't handle driving under certain conditions because of their poor eye sight are the two of them. And to please error on the side of caution.
     GOD KEEP THEM SAFE.

Can You ever be 100% happy

I'm writing this at my Mother's house. On the drive over I was thinking about the time I was the happiest. I have come to the conclusion that You are never aware you are in the midst of a happy time.
     I thought that the 1980's were a very happy time for me. But then I remembered Mikey Metz died in 85, I went through a bad break up with a girlfriend, so I thought maybe it was later in the 80's and I remembered that in December of 87, my Dad was diagnosed with cancer and the next year, fifteen months were the worst of my life. Until I thought of the three years following his death, which were worse. I guess the 80's weren't that good, but I still feel they were, I don't know why.
     So I moved on to other decades and lo and behold it turns out I am in one of the best periods of my life. My Wife may shake her head in disbelief, but I think the good times started to roll when Teri and I started the paperwork to get the girls.
     I look back to the times We had in the Nyack house, and there were bad times as well as good time. Best Time memory is the parties I threw when the  Halloween parade went down the street, and all the people who were there who are gone now.
     My time with my Wife, like everything has its ups and downs. The adoption of the girls has to be the highlight of everything I have ever done or will ever do in my life. they have changed Teri and I in many ways we will never know. And I know Teri and I have transformed their lives.
     So, yeah the 2010's have had some rough spots and some real downers in them, but I think they rank up there with the best of times.

The New Year so far.

New Years eve, at this point in life if you've seen one, you've seen 58 come and go. It is not the big deal it once was. It's not like you met your future wife that night and you both share a private moment.
     I remember one story about New Years eve that my Mom once told me, about my Dad going out on the steps off the kitchen, at the time they were the back steps, and banged two pots together and yelled happy New Year.
     Every New Years eve my Uncle Ken, next door at 17 Klein would have a party down stairs in his basement. I always thought that it was a New Years eve party, but he was also born on New Years eve and it was a birthday party. I was always insulted, we were never invited over. As an Adult I completely understand. Who'd want kids at a party.
     The Girls have not gotten to the point where New Years eve is boring. Nastia did get a little bored, because there was not anyone for her to talk to. She did ask me why was it OK for me to tell Amanda and Nick it was OK to come over. There was an 'and' there, but I wasn't going to say it and she didn't say it and it was' Why David wasn't there. My answer would of been 'Well go ask him if he wants to come.' Personally, I didn't want to spend an evening with him. Too uncomfortable for me.
     Elena, met a boy at the gathering, he is two years younger then her and they seemed to hit it off. When We left, Teri and Nancy pushed her to go get his number. I wonder if they will talk. He is a son of one of Eric and Lynn's friends.
     The new reality of my life now that my daughter, Nastia is getting good at driving is everywhere I go with her I get chauffeured. It is a big change for someone who is used to driving most of the time. I guess it has come about in a subtle way. It started a few years ago when my wife decided that she would rather drive her car when we went on trips, short or long. I didn't care mainly because I drove everywhere and I was dealing with problems of staying awake behind the wheel. I never told, and no one ever asked where two dings on the passenger side of the car came from. It's a short, quick story that I have told no one so keep it to yourself.
     I was driving down Rt 9W after Cream-O-Land took over Consolidated, I don't remember where I was, but I remember having trouble staying awake. It is a problem that I'd been battling on and off for years while doing over 100 mile a day driving doing sales calls. Some days I'd pull off to the side of the road to take a nap. This day I didn't feel I could. so on I went.
     The next think I remember, is either one of two or three things. I was off the road, I'd fallen asleep, I was going to hit the guard rail. I swerve back on the road and I remember a car coming in the opposite direction and the guy in the car looking at me with the expression like 'What the hell is that jerk doing'. I just dinged the guard railing and I was wide awake after that.
     That was the second accident I had falling asleep for. After I lost my job with Cream-O-Land I didn't have to drive a lot, that was the only up side.

Christmas 2016 WOW, did that get here quick.

I started this the day after Christmas and only did the title. It just blew me away so much I had to stop until New Years eve.
      Christmas lately has not been as fun as it should be. I want to blame everyone for it happening, but it is all inside me to make it a fun stress free time. I started in that direction be getting a head start on shopping. I then let things grind to a halt and suddenly I haven't taken the girls shopping and I don't feel Iv'e gotten Teri enough stuff and everyone is spending too much money. Then suddenly I'm wishing the hollow days (yeah, I used that old spelling joke again.) we're over. At least I've condensed my distaste for the Hollow day ( can't resist using it again) down from Thanksgiving to my birthday to just Christmas.
     I enjoyed Christmas when the girls first got here and Teri and I could piss away money almost at will. She would say,"I want to use one of my pay checks on Christmas. It was OK, we were able to do it. Money would be tight, but only because we both were putting a good amount of money into our 401K's.
     Then things changed, I lost my job, Teri lost her's. She got another one, I got a part time and I stayed there.
     So, what happened on Christmas, well Teri and I got up around 7:30 and we're the first ones up. We sat around having something to eat.
     Some time around 11, the girls are gotten up. It's not like the videos I made when they first got here and they were up at 6am, like normal kids. I guess they are normal kids now too, just normal teenagers who want to sleep as late as they can.
     Well, the girls finally got up. Nancy slept over and Nick and Amanda came over around 11, we finally opened up gifts. there were alot of oh, wows and thank yous thrown about. The big gift for this Christmas were Apple watches for the girls. I find them redundant, but it's the cool thing to have this year.
     We had a roast for Christmas, everyone seems to be Turkey'd out these days. It
s funny, I only have Turkey once or twice a year or maybe when I want to get it out of the freezer because I can't stand the room it takes up and the stuffing is always great, but I really am tired of Turkey.
     Not so much of ham. The Turkey came out real good this year. The top didn't look cooked all the way, but the wing and the internal temperature said it was ready. Came out good, the stuffing as always was excellent. The only problem was there was too much topping on the sweet potatoes. The topping is not marshmallow, it is a combination of nuts and brown sugar and other items. The Sweet Potatoes are put in a shallow dish and the topping is ladled on a little too thick. I made mention of this and my loving wife said, in a sweet and loving and understanding way, "deal with it".  
     We ate a little late, three not two and when we finished up we relaxed until about six-thirty when we went to my brother Eric's house for desert.
     We played a game that is becoming very popular on college campuses call Werewolf. Each person gets a card and they and the narrator are the only ones who know who they are. You can be a villager or a werewolf. The Villagers try to kill the werewolves and the werewolves try to kill the villagers.
     At the start of the game, everyone puts there heads down and the narrator says all the werewolves wake up, who do you want to kill, they pick out a person. Then they put their heads down and the narrator calls for one of the villages, who has a special power to do something. It's a lot of fun the game. At the end, last person standing is the winner.
     We played it twice and went home. Fun night.

Rogue One A Muller Story

Went to see Rogue One yesterday with the girls. Teri can't stand Star Wars crap, as she says so I asked Nasta, who said yes and at first Elena said no, but she liked the Star Wars the Force Awakens so she changed her mind and it was scheduled for Thursday December 29th at 5pm.
     I work until 3pm and I can usually get home by 3:30 and I did, but no one else was home. I call Teri, no answer, I call Nastia she answers and says they are just leaving Walmart and are going to the Palisades Center. I say I'll meet them there. I'm in the car and off I go. I get a mile down the road and it's wait, there is candy at the house. I turn around, get the candy, clean the dogs dishes, turn the heat on in the downstairs bathroom and finally leave. I did all this, because I was early and had the time. Can You see where this is going? I head down Kings Highway and decide to go straight instead of making the right onto Old Mill road, because I was going to park in front of the Mall not the back near Target. So I blow past Old Mill and as the Railroad track over Kings Highway in Valley Cottage come into view there is a train rolling past. I make a quick decision to hang a right on a side road and then a left onto Fulle drive to come out onto Old Mill Road. At the last minute I change my mind. How long will it take the train to pass? That's a rhetorical question, I'll answer it. Five minutes later, I'm still watching this train pass. Every few minutes I'm thinking, if I turn around now the train will end, but it doesn't, and it doesn't until the point I think it will never end. After my clock just clicks over to eight minutes the train ends and off I roar. And yes I end up making a right onto Snake hill road off Rt 303 and park over near Target. Just as I'm pulling in Nastia calls me asking where I am. I was destined to never make it there on time.
     Now to the movie. The theatre was packed. I can't get over the fact that in this day and age people are still will to pay $13.00 for a movie and then get ripped off, not just a little, but really big time for snacks. $9.49 for a tub of popcorn, $5.49 for a large soda. Granted they both come with free refills and are both big enough to feed a small African country for a week, still has anyone ever hear of excessive sizes.
     I bring in the usual candy, I buy popcorn, a soda, and two ices and a hot dog, no lunch and spend $37.84, with the tickets that is two hours of fun for three people for  like $72.00, or $36.00 an hour, wish I made that again. Enough bitchin.
     The Movie was good. We sat just south of midway in the theatre, on the isle, which I like. You know incase you need to use the bathroom, twice during the show. Need to refill your soda with water because you drank it all and if you drink any more soda it will give you a headache. Oh and my favorite thing that happened aside from the women with the two small toddlers, who must of been so desperate to see the movie she bought two real young kids with her and I think she saw less of the movie then I did. My most favorite thing that happened was I gave Nastia the card board tray filled with popcorn. When she was done Elena decided she wanted popcorn, but needed butter on it. She goes and does that. A little while later she says the seat is covered in oil. I try to clean it with my few napkins and all I succeed  in doing is to smear it all over the seat. I had to go to guest services and have them come in during the movie to clean the seat. And of course after that I went to the bathroom again.
     Still in all I would not trade that day for anything. It's a great memory. And as they get older these day will be fewer and fewer. God bless them and days like this.

Christmas Shopping 2016

December 20, 2016  9:32am
     I just read last years Christmas shopping story. I forgot to include the story  where we are together at the entrance of Target's and  I tell them we would meet at a store called Sophore's. I asked if they knew how to get there. They say yes and we go in the right direction, just not together. I got there and I wait, and wait. I then text both a picture of Saphore's. I text more, I start to worry, I call them and they finally say the can't find Saphore's. This Year when We go Christmas shopping well meet again at Saphore's, lets see if they've learned anything..
     On Sunday, Nastia and David went to the Palisades Center to Christmas shop and have dinner as a make up for the Christmas Houses being moved and him not being able to go. She was out with him from one PM until Eight, I guess. She comes home with less then nothing in gifts, I think. I will take them Christmas Shopping Thursday. Yes, I know it is three day before Christmas then. I just forgot to take  them. More after Thursday.
      The Christmas shopping on Thursday was not as smooth as it could have been. The Girls had their list of presents and sorta had money. We went out as soon as I got home from work about 3:45.
We headed to A.C. Moore to get my Mother a gift card. The parking lots were jammed with cars to the point there were almost no parking spots. The wait on line wasn't too bad, I told the girls while I waited on line to go wander. After I was done I found them reading a book over in the far corner of the store. It was more of a comic. Our next stop was the Liquor Store where Amanda works. We go into get Rumchatta for Teri. I pick up a big bottle and say hi to Amanda as we exit the store. Everything is going smooth.
     The Palisades Center is our next stop. The Girls know what they want to get and what stores the items are in. It will be a breeze.
     Bed, Bath and Beyond is our first stop. I have coupons to get a discount on the products and I'n psyched this will go well. The Girls go off to get their stuff and I wander around to see if there is anything I can get Teri. A little while later the call me and say they are checking out.I meet them expecting to see four items in their hands,I see one. The other three are sold out. Now its time to search. We check out several store for Lucy calendars for Elena to give to Teri, No luck, I order it online, it will take until Friday. We search half a dozen stores for robes for Nastia to give Teri. I'm willing to go fifty or sixty for a nice one. All I find is crap priced at one hundred dollars or more. Things are not going so well. We've been in Target, J C Penny, Macy's and any number of the smaller stores.
     Two hours have gone by and I have blisters on my feet and we are trying to decide where to eat, Elena says food court, Nastia says cheese Cake factory, my wallet says home. We compromise on Chinese take out. It is so much cheaper then Hard Wok these days. At home I give Nastia a make up bag I bought Teri to give her. Most shopping is done. But We will go out again trying to get the robe at Kohls and failing and getting my mom bird seed, succeeding the next day.

Christmas Houses 2016

It was smaller then past years if you judge by the number of pizzas ordered. The weather didn't cooperator either, it snowed the night before and changed over to freezing rain, then to just plain rain before it stopped. It was held late this year and the date was changed by one day at the last minute and that also lead to the down number of people this year.
     The Starting time usually eleven was moved to one, then two and when I went out for Pizza, I counted thirteen and I got three pizzas. When I got back the count was closer to twenty and I was afraid there was not enough pizza. We ended up with almost a full pie when it was all said and done.
     My Mom had everything all set up and ready to go. We arrived late and only Karl and Madeline were there. Kristen and Matt and Mathew arrived a little later. Then Eric and Lynn, with Denis and Billy and Billy's girlfriend and her family. It was over by six or so. Is this the last one?
     Last Year, Madeline said her and I would take it over. I said I didn't know where I would be a year later. It turns out she was the one to move. After almost forty years at 4 Old Mill, West Nyack they are now, I think, 220 Bardonia Road, Nanuet or is it Bardonia? Funny how things work out.

End of the year 2016 or look who's bitching again.

This has been a different Christmas. With Nastia turning eighteen and Elena turning sixteen, now more then ever do I feel time slipping away. Things are always changing, but there are times when it becomes most acute. Nastia's birthday was one and Christmas Houses 2016 is another.
     It was a year ago when My Mom said 2015 would most likely be the last and Madeline said to me no it won't, you and I can do it next year. I said, because of mine and my wife's lack of  jobs I don't know where I will be next year.
     It's a year later and a lot has happened, some I will never again talk about again, not even to the people involved. People have continued to grow and change and the world has kept on spinning.
     My Daughters and Wife are happy, I hope and safe, I hope. life is not perfect and I never expect it will be.
     I am reminded of a joke I first heard at the beginning of the movie Annie Hall. It starts with Woody Allen telling a story about two old Jewish ladies at a resort in the Catskills. The first comments on how bad the food is. How there is nothing good to eat and the other one says, "and the portions are small too."
     Woody then says this is how he views life, and I have to agree with him on that. Life sucks, but I want more. Is that God laughing in the back round?
     I think despite what all the Bible thumpers think God has a wonderful sense of humor. If not why would he put an itch on the only spot on my back I can't reach. If I am truly made in his image I know why this world is so screwed up.

The Day after the night before

The next day after Nastia's birthday Teri and I had a conversation. I won't go into it because some things are not part of history right now and may never be. Remember, history is written after the fact and usually is what the history books decides is relevant.
     After our talk, Teri went to the craft fair and I went up to Nastia's room. I woke her up and told her I was not very nice to David last night and I was sorry. Maybe I should of told David I was sorry, but I am not at that point yet. I don't remember everything I told her, but I told her my fears about their relationship. I said my nightmare is the two of you getting engaged before you both understand what it takes to be in a relationship or even be able to afford to live together. And how lack of money in a relationship can put pressure on that relationship and kill it.
     Then there was the fear of her getting pregnant. Then finally the reality of an interracial couple and the reality that if they move out of a metropolitan area, the problems they would most certainly face from people who don't approve.
     I didn't say, but maybe I should of is, don't grow up too quick. Once you cross the border you really can't go back.

Nastia turns Eighteen

It's hard to believe that it has been over seven years since we bought back to young ladies from Russia.
     The oldest, who was turning ten when we first met her in the summer of 08' has turned eighteen. She works hard at being grown up sometimes and at other times she is still some much a child. I can see her growing and becoming an amazing person, yet I still see the person who will come down after a shower to eat dinner and some how get food stuck in her hair. She is sweet and loving and trusts too much. In this world today that is a blessing and a curse.
     She says she has friends and you ask her what their names are and she will say, "Oh I don't know" or "His name is Brian", asked what his last name is she won't know. Told he wants more then friendship, She will shake her head 'No', because at her age she knows.
     I worry about her and her sister all the time and every so often my Mom will let it be known that she worries about her children still and I know it will never end. I guess that is OK.
     I guess all of the above is the introduction to her birthday dinner at Gilligan's Restaurant in Sloatsburg on Saturday.
     There was seven of us. Teri, Nastia, Elena, Nancy, Myself, my Mother and David.
     David bought his present to Nastia with him. We sat down and Nastia was given the gift. David starts to squirm and laugh a little nervously, while talking to Nastia behind a menu.
     Nastia puts the bag with the gift on the table and it's a Zales bag, the diamond store is written on the bag. It's a small bag. She takes the gift out of the bag and it is a small square wrapped box. My mind is blank. It is too much to make sense of. The phrase, 'The Diamond Store' is rattling around in the back of my mind and I have been scared and angry about this for a while. In the back of my mind I am looking at two stupid, naive children. One of them recently told me when she couldn't come up with a birthday gift that, "Boy relationships are tough."
     Nastia un wraps a small box which is a ring box and then opens the box. An 'oh' of delight escapes her mouth. She turns the box toward her mother and I. I see a ring with many small stones in it and I am unsure if David has just given her an engagement ring or not. I try to play it cool and wait for confirmation one way or the other. You know like someone dropping to their knees. I manage to say, in a small guarded voice, half a croak, half whisper, "Oh that is nice." I then proceed to grab my knife, no not to do that, put to butter a piece of bread my shaking hand has just grabbed because I need something to do. At this time I am not a happy camper.
     A little later on conversation goes on to the future and them getting married or something like that and I tell David that the best way for him to survive getting engaged to my daughter and he laughs, a nervous laugh, I tell him to stop, I'm serious, the way to survive engagement is to get a job, be able to take care of yourself and put some money away. It was the not nicely said, but it would go a long way to my relaxing about them.
     Later the conversation got around to the courses he is taking at RCC and the job prospects he can expect. I have to introduce him to Eric so he can learn about the way mechanics are treated at dealerships. I thought they were mistreated. He said they wanted to hire him right now. He is still young enough that if he makes a mistake it won't affect the rest of his life. Well as long as he doesn't wait ten years.
     The rest of dinner was un eventful. Nastia and a few others had dessert and we all went home.
      

Pre Christmas Notes

It's official, the Girls don't believe in Santa Claus, which I guess is Ok.
     Started a new tradition, I hope this year. In the past every Christmas a large group of us would get together and see the latest Harry Potter movie out. I don't remember the first year Harry Potter started, but a group of us went to it. It included Teri, myself, Nancy, Amanda, June, Tony and my Mother at least, I think. Later on the girls would get added to the mix.
     I just looked it up and the movie franchise started in 2001, when Nastia was three and Elena was one. They joined the fray in for the final film, split into two movies, having missed the half blood prince by a few months in 2009( The movie came out in the summer of 2009, they arrived in October). They never would of understood it speaking little English at the time.
     This year they released Fantastic Beasts, which is the first of five movies that will explore the history of the Elder wand and the relationship between a character called Grindelwald and Albas Dumbledore. For those of you who don't know or remember what the Elder wand is... READ THE BOOKS!! THERE GREAT!!
     OK, The Elder wand is the most powerful wand and it is part of something that includes the invisibility cloak. Now I have to go reread the books! Cause I don't remember it all.
     Started Making Christmas Cookies yesterday. The Girls both helped and I had too much help. It fun, but when you have too much help and can't give jobs to both at the same time it causes stress because I feel one or the other is going to leave and do something else. I want to teach them both to cook so that when they go out on their own they will be able to make something more then Raman Noodle Soup.
     We started with Chocolate chip cookies. I heard that if you substitute 8ozs of cream cheese for half the butter the cookies will come out soft. Well We did, then we put in too much white sugar, so I cut back on the brown sugar and added some molasses, I tasted the molasses and let the girls taste it, I thought it would be good, it wasn't.
     After all of that the cookies were soft and I thought tasteless. My Mom said they had a nice taste. The Girls didn't complain and just ate them.
     Next up are the pin wheel cookies. I make them every year with the promise that I will make them again during the year. I love them and they represent to me Christmas for some odd reason, I guess because they are only made during Christmas. They are too much of a hassle to make more then that.
     I double the dough. Half is vanilla, the other half is Chocolate. Each gets put in the refrigerator to cool after it is made, then they are rolled out, re-cooled, rolled together, re-cooled, then cut to make the pin wheel shape, cooked and the last part is the best, yes I eat them, but I'm the only one who likes them! Best deal ever. I also like to make the cookie from Niemen Marcus. The story behind the cookie about someone being charged $600.00 to get the recipe, which is false, got me interested in it. It's a good cookie. About as much of a pain to make as the pin wheel cookies.

Halloween 2016

This might be the dying days of this tradition. Nastia questioned if she was too old to go out this year. And when they went out, they went with a friend Sharin and they did more talking and less trick or treating.

     We picked up Sharin at her house and met her mother, a first. She wanted to make sure her daughter was going with adults. It's good to see We aren't alone. We went down to Nyack and parked in about the same place as last year, but it was different, the girls were not excited to go and get candy any more. The first years over here, they went to the Halloween parade in costume, not this year. And this year for trick or treating there was no excitement. I know I really didn't want to be there either, but I also wanted to go and do this. I guess We all know the end is coming.

    We started on the western side of North Broadway and headed north. Maybe it was late, but it seemed less houses were open for trick or treaters. The Crowds mostly seemed to be there, but in spots there were less people. We walked down past Hartells Grocery, a stop my Dad and I delivered to for about thirty years. It closed about a year ago because Bubby is in his eighties and wanted to work less and is just doing the liquor store. We went a little past the Firehouse and when prompted to turn around, no one argued. When we passed the side streets we usually went down, no one argued. We were done in a little over an hour. We'd made a big loop on North Broadway and were back at the car, everyone ready to go home. If this is the end of going down to Nyack to trick or treat with the girls it has died with a wimpier, not a scream.

     I remember when I was thirteen, I felt I was too old to go out any more, then I became friends with Mike and the next year and several years after that I went out. Nastia might be almost eighteen, but mentally she is still somewhere around fourteen, still the perfect age to trick or treat. Elena, on the other hand is a little hard to read. She presents a blank wall to the world sometimes and god I guess this was how the world saw me. She can be so free and easy, like her sister sometimes, then she disappears.

Slide the City

I never talked about the girls doing Slide the city.
     Sometime in June-July I saw an article about how this company, 'Slide the City' went around to places and set up these huge water slides. The minute they saw Nyack, they knew they had to do one there.
     

They got permission to run one at the beginning of August. We got the tickets about a month in advance, they were fifty dollars each I think. A few weeks later of course I saw them on groupon for half price.
     We never told the girls we got them and on the day of the event we told them they  had been volunteered for a fund raising car wash. So they had to put on there bathing suits. It was a punishment for doing poorly on their retakes of their finals.
     We parked over at Teri's parents house and walked over to Main and Midland. As We turn the corner there are balloons and a huge group of people waiting on line to go down the slide. I wasn't happy. The tickets were pricey and how often would the girls get to go down the slide in that time?
    

We walked down the sidewalk on the south side of the road. People were having a great time, laughing and excited to get back up to the top of the slide. It was a bright sunny day, it was perfect for this event. Not too hot, not cold. We walked down to the corner of Franklin where they had set up their booth. The Girls got their tubes and wrist bands.
     On the way back up we find Sally sitting in a chair along the slide and she says that Sallyanne and Katie and Nancy are all on line, having decided to go during the first three hour run. They slide bye and I get Sallyanne and Nancy on the video, missing Katie.
     The Girls time comes and they get on line and Teri and I wait, and wait and wait for them to slide bye. When I'm not looking, they slide bye, I get a bit of their slide. The same thing happens on their next two slides, but I get none of their slide those two times.
     While We are waiting I run into a friend, Ray, who is with his daughter.
  a dry spot developed in front of Teri and I where the water didn't cover the slide and was dry. People would slide up to it then stop, some falling off there tube, others trying to scoot past it and losing their tubes. There were some fun pile ups there too. Eventually they put a helper there to get people past it. With the water on the slide it was impossible to get rid of the bump.

     After about two hours, Teri and I are tired of standing around watching so We wander down into Nyack. When I delivered to Nyack, I knew every business in town and mostly who ran them. On this trip it was like I was visiting a town that I knew from pictures. Everything was familiar, but I knew no one and it felt strange. It was sixteen year ago when I last delivered milk.
     Teri found someone she knew and they talked for a time until Ray texts me saying our kids are looking for us. I text him back and we walk, in no hurry back up the hill.
     The Girls have an other forty-five minutes to slide, but say they are tired, so are we so we agree to go home a little early. It was fun and they want to do it again.
     Tomorrow would be the Dutchess County Fair. That is where this would fit in in the timeline.
    

Turn a page

Usually I miss things and later I'll look back and see that an incident changed things. Usually it's a small thing.
     Today I got hit with a small thing that I caught. At 10:55 this morning while I was at my job at the Crystal Spoon and Teri was at Just Energy I got a text from Elena. The Girls had off yesterday and today for the jewish holidays. The Text read"Me and my sister are at the cafe down the road from the elementary school." My first reaction was I was amazed that the girls even knew what a cafe was and that they knew there was one down the road. I'm not trying to be mean, but if they were never there it doesn't exist. I found the text an hour after it was sent so I did the parent thing and replied "Why?"
     The reply was, "To eat breakfast, but we're home now." So I asked the next two questions printed in the parent hand book Who paid and what did you have. They had Pancakes. What else would teenage girls eat, oh, yes french fries. And yes they had fries. I then went a little off script after using question four, "Was it good?" and asked "Any bacon or sausages?" that was when I found out they had fries.
     I texted Teri and her reply was how I felt, "I could cry", because our little girls had just taken an other step out of our lives. It was bitter sweet. While writing this I get a picture of my front door closing and they're on the other side going home, because they don't live here any more. I'm not ready yet.
     Ah Hell, Elena's gonna live with us until we change the locks and pile her stuff on the front porch!
     I'm also very pleased at their interest in the Hi Tor Animal Shelter. They volunteer there and I know what they do there is not like a job. They cleaned cages, fed some cats and then played with them a little. I'm just very pleased that they were willing to volunteer and I hope in the future when I want them to become involved in the spring clean up around Rockland I will get a good response.
     It is also funny that the reason I want the girls to volunteer for stuff is Cory and Ryan had to volunteer while they were in school to graduate. An unforeseen benefit that the government of Florida will never know about their law.

October Blues

This was started in early October.
     This time of year is always a time of reflection for me. It is the time when the world starts to get ready for Winter, not one of my favorite seasons. During January through March, it seems you just hang out waiting for Spring.
     This is also the time of year when We bought the girls home. They became ours on September 10th and over the next several weeks we went through hoops to finish their paper work and around this time We got off a plane, took a car service, (cause we had money back then) and were surprised by a welcoming home party.
     The Fun started the very next day when We had to get their Social Security Cards in West Nyack and get them registered at school.
     There first day at School, I would not of remembered but
for the blog.

I forgot the Danger Girls Reappear at the Dutchess County Fair.

This happened on Sunday August 28, 2016 right after we did Slide the City
     Last Year I had to push for the Dutchess County Fair over Great Adventure. I know Great Adventure has all these great rides and it's all a great adventure,wow, yeah, but I can't go on the rides because of my neck and the food is awful there and very expensive. Yes, I know the food at every enclosed type of place is expensive, but at the Dutchess County Fair there is such a large variety and they are not owned by the Fair, and you do get some good food occasionally.
     We got up around eight or so with the plan of getting to the fair by eleven, so we could leave at six to go to the beach the next day. We got up around eight, Teri and I at seven, the girls at eight, we ate breakfast and picked Nancy up by ten. The GPS in the car said to take the Thruway up to an exit 19 Kingston, then go across the Hudson and enter into Rhinebeck from the north. I wanted to park in the lots near the fair grounds that are peoples lawns and are a short walk to the Fair. I knew that way and liked where we parked before. Teri thought going over the Tappan Zee bridge up the Taconic would be good. We decided to go the GPS said was best, I planned to go off that route to park where I wanted to.
We head up the Thruway and for some dumb reason I try getting off in Monroe, Route 17 instead of Newburgh twenty-five miles further north. I get back on get off in Newburgh, GPS is telling me I'm wrong to do it and it seems giving me attitude about it. I cross over the Newburgh- Beacon Bridge and go up Route 9 instead of going the Taconic like GPS wanted me to. I go through towns and stop at traffic lights and about half way through this it hits me maybe GPS was right this was not a good way to go. I turned a just under two hour trip into two and a half hours, but I did get to park where I wanted.
     We prepaid for our tickets and breezed into the fair. Our first stop, the long anticipated bathrooms. How sweet it was. Yeah, you know what I mean.
     We walk through some of the craft buildings and Teri gets a few things she likes to get there and then we get something to eat. I have been looking forward to the Philly Cheese Steak sandwich from that other vendor for a year, I knew where he was last year and I go there and he is not there. I hit this other one and to my horror after the first bit, it was the same one from last year, they moved and the other one did not come back. After a couple of bites of an overly air pumped bread, with imitation cheese sauce running down my wrist, Nasta asks me if I'm enjoying my sandwich. I ate it because I couldn't waste the eight dollars it cost me to purchase it. I should of read last years blog about the purchase experience and seeing the other vendor. I would of been sure to figure out what not to buy. When they were putting the sandwich together I had a sinking feeling that something was wrong. The Roll didn't look like a good one and the meat was all dried out and the onions and peppers were all 'been on the grill to long', but the price was the correct price.

     Well Iv'e finally learned my lesson, next year I go to the pizza guy who gave discount refills and get a slice and the discount refills there.
   

After food we wandered up toward the Animals and the girls wanted to pet all them. In all Barns there were signs to use the soap dispensers provided after leaving the barns. Mostly the girls did, but when they didn't and reached for my cup of soda or water for a drink, I recoil in horror and make them wash there hands, I'm becoming such a germ freak.
     It was getting late and as we wondered toward the exit.Someone notices the motorcycle/ ATV jumpers and everyone wanders towards it. We waste sometime there, then we decide we would eat at the fair to save some money. So We wander toward the midway until someone notices the pig races, yes we stay there for a while until we notice it doesn't start for half an hour.
We resume our wander toward the midway, until yes again someone notices the dog training tent and there is a show they at setting up for, and yes again we wait for a while until someone realizes it is getting late and we need to eat and we leave. We stop at a place set up by the local water company to wash your hand or get some cool water. Finally we get back to the midway. Nastia and Elena have corn,Teri eventually gets a Brisket sundae. I find the fact that they mix brisket, mashed potatoes and gravy all together disgusting. I thought I was over that, but I can't even look at it while Teri eats it, she loves it. I got a small thing of Pierogies anticipating eating Ice Cream before we left, and I did. We left the fair closer to eight then six or even seven. We went home the way we came and with no traffic it was a little over two hours when we got home. Great time. Now Tomorrow the beach.

Elena's Birthday, NOT NUMBER SIXTEEN!!!! OH NO!!

I am writing this a month after her birthday. Number sixteen, wow. That funny little kid who asked for my camera in Birobidjon by saying "fleas, papa fleas" and putting her hand in my pocket to get the camera is sixteen. Back in Russia I gave her the camera and she and her sister went around taking pictures of everyone. Who they are, they don't remember.
    Elena's birthday was on a Wednesday this year. We went to a BBQ place on Erie Street in Blauvelt called Bailey's. It was just a bar forever and one day their were a bunch of cars outside of it. I didn't think twice about it until Teri said they are cooking up some pretty good BBQ there now. We tried it about a year and a half ago. It was pretty good.
     They have a corn souffle that Teri loved and she found a recipe that I think is better then there's.
     We went to Bailey's and Elena was allowed to bring her boyfriend Mat with her. It was busy and they put us down stairs.
      We ordered an appetizer called burnt ends.

The main meal was family style (one big combination plate of food) something called the boneyard. It was Ribs, baby back and regular, chicken with three sides. Nastia, who doesn't like BBQ and had a shrimp wrap. There was enough food left over for leftovers a few days later. The place was loud and you couldn't talk, just yell. It was a nice night.
     Then about two weeks later, on a Saturday, at the house we had cake and guests over. My Mom, Karl, Madeline, Mat again, David, Nancy, Amanda and Nick all came over for Ice Cream Cake. It was a loud and nice night. About a month or so later Mat and Elena broke up.

Hi Tor Animal Shelter

I don't know how this will go, but the girls joined by my wife have gone to Hi Tor to take a class so they can do volunteer work at the shelter.
    I'd like to take credit for the girls volunteering, but Hi Tor was Teri's idea. Somewhere in the past Teri and I had talked about Hi Tor and the Girls volunteering. Nothing went forward. About a week ago I was thinking about Ryan and the volunteer work that was required for him and Cory to graduate High School. And the idea hit me that maybe by getting Elena involved in stuff she would be inspired to be more in this world. And want to do betterin school and have a goal. I thought Ambulance Corp. I told Teri and my Mother the idea and both came up the same reason it was not a good idea.
     Sally Ann had been a member of the Ambulance Corp. and quit because of the emonational stress it caused her. The Car accidents, drug over doses, things that I din't want thegirls to experence. My Mom said my brother Karl when he was about 17-18 joined and didn't last for the same reasons. Then Teri brings up the animal shelter again. And again I said it was a good idea.
      It was left sitting there again until today. During the week I'd signed the girls up for Russian at the ols Congers Elementry School for eleven weeks on Monday from 5-6pm. I didn't want to let anothergood idea go to waste. I looked up the web site, printed out the information and the girls looked it over and Elena came down very interested in it. The Web site instructions were very confusing, so when Teri got home she went over them and managed to figureout you needed to write the shelter first. The problem was the meeting for trainees was today. Teri e-mailed last night and surprised me by adding her own name to the list. And then this morning I got an other surprise when they replied it wasn't tolateto go to the meeting today. Paper work was filled out and off they went to the meeting.  

Nothing is happening, yeah, really

This I started in July and never finished.
Nothing is happening, yeah, really nothing  is going on.
     Well, some stuff has gone on since I last wrote. This feels like the joke about the dog dying.
     I forget how it starts out, but one of the early lines is the dog ate the meat and died. And in the joke are a series of bad things happening like the house burning down and it's a kids joke from the 60's. A joke eight year olds would of found funny.
     Anyway, the dog ate the meat and died, Nastia got fired from her job. It started on a Saturday, She was working a long day. Half way through the day I get a call from her could I pick her up. As She explained it to me, a boy, a co-worker had been hassling her about her age. He kept saying that there was no way she could be seventeen. So She finally had enough and told the guy to F off. I could understand and to me it was harassment by that guy. Well the story is a little more involved then that. First she cursed in front of customers. Second she had been warned about her truck driver mouth before and if this guy was hassling her she should of gone to management. No She handled it the way an orphan and a child would, in the worst way and got herself fired. Her Boss said to Teri when She went in to find out why Nastia was getting fired. Teri went in quiet and dignified. She looked at it as a manager would, not as an hysterical parent might, the my child never does anything wrong and everybody wins. It turned out that She had been warned about her mouth and Her boss didn't really want to fire her. After Teri got the full story Nastia was in a little bit of trouble for bending the truth to make her look like a victim.
     With the end of school, Elena is allowed to date again, (yeah, I'm doing cart wheels over it) and she got back together with Mathew. He is a good if a little wimpy kid.
     Around the middle of June, we had a BBQ. Elena invited Mathew, Nastia invited David. Whenever Nastia and David would disappear, I'd go find them. I would make a show of asking them where they are going. To give equal time, I did the same to Elena and Mathew. Elena is smarter in a street sense then Nastia. She know how to hide things better then her sister. To find out about things she is doing digging will need to be done. She has the privilege of going over Mathews house, where Nastia has lost that with David.
     The BBQ went very nicely,Eric and Lynn did a spectacular job of setting up and taking down the stuff. I might of inadvertently imposed the BBQ on them and if I did, I want to apologize. I had best of intentions. We don't get together much any more and I feel time is running out. I thought doing it where it was would be easier. If I forgot to ask you guys, sorry.
    

End of School and Summer School

Yeah, I know I've skipped the whole summer again without a post. I guess I've been lazy, but there seemed to be nothing happening until the last month or so.
     Back in June the girls got out of school and it seemed a long summer was ahead of them. Nastia went to a wedding on a Thursday, before a final and did a major... What's it called when you dive into a pool and instead of your body going in hands first, then your head and the body follows and it is real smooth. Well instead of that when you jump in and your body hits the water like when you slap your hands together...oh yeah, a belly flop, that's what she did. She had an 82 average and belly flopped the final with a 62, after her wedding night.
     I don't want you to think I'm picking on just her, I just haven't gotten to Elena yet. Our lovely youngest, well lets just say that she belly flopped most of the year, but her belly flop was more like that a middle aged man who likes to drink beer and has a big flabby belly that if he chose to get up out of his faded yellow lawn chair, with the stripes of flaking plastic strapping and attempt to dive into a pool after consuming too many bottles of the brown or golden elixir, SPLAT! She failed one subject, even after she put out the effort in the fourth quarter, poor unappreciated young lady. She was going to summer school, Nastia was going to a review class, then both were heading to an August retake of the failed exams.
     Nastia's review class was cancelled, not enough people. Elena conned us into just sending her to review class. So along with ESL summer class, she was busy from 9 am until 12:30, poor girl, why won't someone help her!!
     Elena had to get up on her own and she did a very good job of that. I'm always amazed that when she is willing to do something, she does it with out any fuss or muss. I just wish she would put it into her head that if she applied herself to school, her life would be so much easier. She just has to want to do it and she will succeed at it. I know she doesn't believe that. She thinks she is dumb, she's not, she gets things the same way I do, play with it a little and turn some knobs and after a little while you know how it works.
     Elena would catch the bus to ESL at Felex Festa about nine, I think, then spend some time at ESL until she was picked up at about ten-thirty, by my Mom, driven to the middle school in Haverstraw and picked up again at twelve-thirty. The rest of the day was hers.
   She really didn't really want to go to ESL summer. The one time I picked her up she was playing on a computer, tough life.
     We went through the two weeks or so of the review class. Nastia with the better school record was left to her own devices. On the day of the test Nastia had to be there at 8am and Elena at 12:30. It went mostly smooth, except for the results. Nastia got a 67, Elena got a 62. Both did better, sorta.
 
    

Girl clothes shopping and when Father doesn't know best.

Teri went to Toronto on Monday. On Monday evening Elena got a full blown chest cold. It had been creeping up on her all weekend and all weekend she insisted it was nothing. I kept her home on Monday and Tuesday mostly because of the coughing. I thought the teachers would send her to the nurse and I'd get a call telling me to pick up my daughter, with the implied 'your a bad parent for sending her to school today.'
  Elena enjoyed every minute of the two days. Wednesday I sent her hoping they wouldn't send her back early. All day on Tuesday she was fine. Then she goes to bed and coughs all night long. She was tired on Wednesday, but She sounded better, still coughing. Wednesday she asked to go to a friends house and I said yes. I probably should have said no being she was still coughing.
   It's 10:35 and she has been in bed for an hour and is still coughing. This usually ruins it course in a week. I have seen it before but I still feel like a bad parent because I can't get rid of her cough. I don't want to take her to the doctor because they will give her so medicine that won't really help and the cost. I'm sorry I've become a cheap bastard. We'll have good coverage again in June, can She wait?
  I went Girl clothes shopping with Nastia on Monday. I was supposed to take her to Wallmart, but I hate the Wallmart. So We went to Target. I stopped in the women's section, my daughter is a women and We should be able to find her clothes there. Nastia kept saying we had to go to the girls section and I kept telling her she wasn't a girl any more, she is a women. After ten minutes we went to the girls section, when I handed her a pair of black pants size zero and they were too big. Where do you go from zero? The answer, the girls section. We looked through it, it was a mess and there were no black pant.
  We tried BJ just for the heck of it and were out in two minutes. We then went over to JCPenney on Nastia's advice. We head straight for the girls section, not gonna fool me twice. We search around, I found some funky MC Hammer pants and Nastia laughed at them and me when I showed them to her. Did She know I thought she should try them on? Stop laughing, they might of come back into fashion. He is doing commercials in them.
   At some point in the adventure I noticed Nastia is following me. I stopped and tell her she has to be an active participant in this adventure. She replies Mom gives me clothes to try on, or something to that effect. I wanted her to be more active in the hunt. We needed black pant. How complex could that get. In JC Penny's, in the girls section in the back on the discount rack I find a pair of black pants with pockets, just like Nastia wants. Her response is the pants are too short. I say well then look for the right size. I had to find two pairs, one slightly larger than the other. I told her to go into the changing room and come out in the ones that fit the best. A few moments later she came out wearing one of them. I asked the standard question, How do they feel? Are they pulled up where they belong are they too tight (they were stretchy pants) and finally are they long enough. I didn't get them a little too long because over the last year Nastia hasn't grown. The original price was $32.00 with a 40% discount and a final price of $22. Still too much, but I wanted my trophy from this hunt.
  She got her pants. I proven to my wife I could go girl clothes shopping and pay too much. I proved nothing to her.
  The Air Force took Cory today for six years. God bless him and keep him safe I worry alot about him going in during this time in history. God keep him safe.

Princess Fiona

   Imagine a shorter Princess Fiona with a slightly darker hair and Shriek, taller, thinner and brown instead of green.
   Now that you got that picture imagine that in several months (8 months) Shriek could marry Princess Fiona and the king could do nothing about it. This is also the King who Princess Fiona said, "When I marry Shriek, we're going to move to Florida."
  This Princess Fiona's biggest issue in their relationship so far has been, "What do you mean Babe you have to work today, I'm off and I have to work tomorrow when you work, oooh, noooooo.
  Yeah, I'm pissed. Princes Fiona dropped this precious little gem on me as I was picking her up from the movies with Shriek. Yeah, I know all you mommies out there are saying don't take the ramblings of a child, yes a child that is seventeen, but still a child seriously. I don't really, but it is still hurtful and when I hear her say these things I ask myself what would she do when they are married living in a one bedroom or even a studio because both of them decided to get married instead of finishing college, because Shriek said he would have to break up with her if he went away to college. And now they are married and the bloom is off the rose. You look over at that person who you married a few short years ago and ask yourself can I stand to be with that person another minute. The honest person would most likely say no. Then they would find a way to work past the low spot in the relation. But Princess Fiona is a child,very much younger then her physical age. At 17, she is more like a 14 year old. Can someone that young, physically as well as mentally summon up the will power to go on in a relationship that right now sucks. Being married is HARD!! It is the shark in Annie Hall (watch the movie!!) If it's not moving forward it's dying. Dead Sharks smell real bad.
  I was lucky, Teri and I were older when we met. We worked at our relationship. There were times that it looked like it might end, but we soldiered through. And now it's pretty good. We can fight and know how far to go. We can fight and take it beyond that point and it will still be saved by us.
 Relationships force you to look inside yourself, good ones anyway. And you find yourself asking 'Why did I just do that.' and 'Can I be a better person then that.' I have asked myself those questions and more and have been surprised by the answers. I've asked myself why I yelled at someone who just came home for something that was so small. and been surprised that I was angry at the new or someone at work who did something. It has blown my mind.
   I had an argument with Teri. It was the first day of her new job. Her cousins wife, Pat had died and I wanted Teri to not do anything. I was only working part time and she had a lot on her plate. I made dinner and afterwards I was cleaning up and she wanted to help. She got in my way and I did not want her there in the first place and she knew I was angry and I tried to tell her she was in the way. She got angry and left. A little while later she came in and said she was sorry. I went over to her and put my arms around her and began explaining what was going on in my head. I didn't know what I was going to say until I said it. I was amazed by the truth. I told her I was trying to let her relax after a long day at work and I didn't want her to be doing anything in the kitchen. And I under stood it was part of her make up to not sit by and do nothing and I was sorry. Would Shriek and Princess Fiona, the child they now are have been able to pull that off. I don't know.
 Does a Child, I teenager, someone in their twenties have the ability to continue to go back and go back in a relationship until they make it work and if they don't make it work have they done everything in their power to make it work before they leave. The younger you are the less likely you will make it last.
  I have droned on for several paragraphs and hopefully not put you to sleep. I just want my children to be happy and not make the mistakes I made,but no matter how much you tell them, they think they invented sex, illegal drugs, curse words, all the greatest dances, and if given a chance they could put the world right. God help them!! We were like that all those years ago and some of us didn't make it.

Oh for Alzheimer's 4/11/16

I don't know how many people can actually put themselves in my shoes. First off you have to eliminate all the people without children. Then you need to eliminate all the women and finally you need the eliminate all the men who don't really remember what it was like being a teenage boy interested in girls. There are more then they know. Yes the world has changed in the almost forty years since I've been a teenager, but it is still the same focus for boys, to get a girlfriend and have sex. Now, tomorrow, next week, whatever, that is the focus of being a teenage boy. I was one and I very clearly remember it.
 I remember going on vacation with my then girlfriend's family and the mother getting all upset that her daughter and I were on a pullout bed watching TV. I couldn't understand why she was so upset. If We wanted to have sex there were plenty of places we could go and not have to worry about someone seeing us.
  Now flash forward almost forty years. I have a teenage, two teenage daughters, one with a steady boyfriend, who is also seventeen, the age of my first girlfriend when we met. Lately she has been complaining about her stomach hurting. It has been going on and off for several weeks.
  I get a phone call, I missed, then a text that Nastia has thrown up in school, could I handle it, it's my wife's first day at her new job. I text Nastia and tell her she is going to the Doctor's after school to get her stomach problem looked into. Oh, and I forgot to say her period is late by almost three weeks. Yeah, I didn't have to hit you with a blunt object to make you see where I'm going with this one did I. And if I do, here is a picture of my daughter with a baby, not hers looking a little too happy.
  We get to the Doctors office and I let her sign in. She doesn't read where and how to write her name and ends up having to cross out what she hastily wrote and rewrite it. (I'm making a point with this aside.) We sit down and wait for the Doctor. After about fifteen minutes we go to the exam room and wait a few minutes more. While there she is bouncing around and we get to talking. I don't remember what exactly was said, but I told her nothing she said today was going to get her in trouble. I don't think she got the hint.
  The Doctor's assistant comes in and asks some questions. I tell her that Nastia has on and off had stomach problems and she threw up in school today and it was time to find out what was happening. I also slipped in that her period was very late this month. They picked up on it. She asked some questions and when the assistant said if she's ever had sexual intercourse, I stopped the assistant and said to Nastia, "Do You know what she said?" Nastia says "No".
  I say, "Before I tell you what it means, if you want me to leave the room after I tell you, I will." So I say to her, "Have You ever had sex?" I was asked to leave the room. I make a point of telling the Assistant I would be down the hall if she needed me.
  So there I was, at the end of the hall where I could hear voices, but not make out what was said. I listen harder, still just static and mumbles. A few minutes later the assistant came out to get Doctor Katylar, Nastia, steps out of the room and looks where I am. As the door is closing I hear, "Come on Nastia, your father is not here." I start to get more nervous. I felt like someone has hooked me up to a caffeine machine and turned it on high. I feel my arms shaking, I was really starting to get nervous. I was not ready to be a grandfather. My brother has fully embraced the notion of grandfatherhood, I am not ready.
   A little while later Nastia leaves the exam room with a little piece of paper, for some drug that I have no idea what it is for. I don't want Nastia to think I am prying so I say nothing, ask no questions and anything I say is loud, so everyone can hear. Like when one of the assistants say she is almost a women, I reply that I have to walk behind her with a baseball bat to keep the boys away. I was going to add a Walking dead reference about barbed wire wrapped around it but that audience would of just thought I was weird and not thought hey a Negan, walking dead reference, cool. By the way Abraham is the one he killed, my guess.
  We leave the office and get in the elevator, Nastia asks if anything is wrong, I of course say no. We get to the car and going out of the parking lot someone is going to slow, then someone on the road doesn't go when the light changes and I almost hit them and I call them a bitch. Nastia starts to pet my arm. I tell her I am OK... hardly.
 We get home and Nastia goes inside. I text Teri with the details of the visit. She asks the question on everyone's mind, except maybe Nastia, (I don't know for sure) Is she pregnant? I reply I think not...
  So there We are, the live of a father of two daughters who wishes he did not remember so much about being a teenage boy and how his one goal in life was to get a girlfriend and get laid.
  Oh for Alzheimer's

Am I a good parent or...

The Night started out pretty good. Nastia was at work, Teri had a retirement party to go to. Elena and I were left on our own for dinner. We had planned Tacos, but with Nastia working it didn't see fair.
 I gave Elena the choice of having whatever she wanted for dinner, she chose the food court at the mall.
  We left about 6:15 and had a nice dinner, she had tacos, I had Nathans. We talked about school and her friends. I tried to be non-judgmental of whatever she said. She talked about a friend who was having sex and how she told the girl it was not a smart thing to be doing. I didn't judge, I listened and told her maybe why this friend was doing it. I even let her take her unfinished dinner and go by herself to put it in the car.
    About 7 or so We walk around the mall and she bought me into the store Backstage to show me the tatoos she wants to get when she turns 18. I hope she changes her mind. by then.
   About 8, Teri calls and says she is on the way to pick up Nastia, I tell her don't hurry we are still at the mall. I then have a great idea for everyone to get some frozen yogurt. Teri says it is not fair because Nastia is having stomach problems and that will just make it worse. I tell Elena she can go get her sister and meet me at the car. They get to the car and we head home. On the drive Nastia says she didn't get anything to eat during work. I tell her she needs to eat when she gets home. She is all of 87 lbs with her clothes on soaking wet.
  Here is where it goes bad. Elena says she can eat her taco for dinner, I don't think about how wrong that is until Teri tells me how bad of an idea that is. Teri makes her soup.
   A few days ago Nastia threw up in school and we took her to the doctor. She was given some pills and she threw up again last night. Tonight she threw up again and Teri wanted to bring her to the ER. I said it wasn't necessary. She was just throwing up real bad and the chills and the pain in the stomach were from that. I also said that I would not be surprised if she was dripping in sweat. In my younger days I spent more then one night, early morning after drinking hunched over a toilet throwing my guts up.I think I'm right, but all I have to be is wrong once and something happen to one of the girls and Teri would never forgive me. It's not her fault, She did save her father from dying at least twice by making him go to the doctor. I hope, god please, that I am right and she will be OK until morning and when we take her to the Doctor, they will says she just has something that is not life threatening and she just need something simple.
She did spend sometime in the bathroom and she did have the chills. She did feel better after it was over, except for a sore empty stomach. The chills have stopped and she is very tired.
  Tomorrow morning I will take her to the doctor and we will find out what is wrong with her stomach. Hopefully everything will be OK and not taking her to the ER tonight will not matter.
 

In the Mirror

A while ago Teri said Elena was just like me. At first I said no, but in the back of my mind something said different. Now all this time later as I struggle to see God's plan for all of this I am sure of one thing. When I look at my daughter, Elena I am looking in the mirror. And that is part of the big picture.
  We, Teri and I received an e-mails from Elena's teacher that she had a folder that she was to work on at home over the weekend so when she came into school on Monday she could write a paper in class.
Do home work on a Friday! Homework is never assigned on Fridays and it is never done over a weekend! How dare they!! This was the silent thoughts going through my daughter's mind when Teri and I told her to work on her paper Friday. At her age I would of felt the same way and I would of not done the work or I would of fought my parents the same way she was about to fight us.
   Teri  had taken the lead and Elena was sitting at the table doing, sitting in front of her work, when I came home She was sitting twirling her pen and wasting time. I knew where this was going and I didn't want to be the anger in the middle of it all. I went upstairs.
   I came down later when I heard Teri yelling at Elena. The rage in her voice made me glad I'd not stayed. Teri was saying something about sitting there twirling a pen wasting time, could of been done by now. That was just the beginning.
  Teri and I talked to her, threatened her, joked, explained to her all angles that we could think of to get her to understand the advantage of doing the booklet in advance of Mondays paper she had to write in class. She didn't even have to write the paper at home, it was a class project!
   I first bought up the subject of punishment when I'd gotten frustrated with Elena. I'd told her after dinner, we'd started eating when the latest assault on fortress Elena's pig headedness had started. I suggested right after dinner she clear her plate and go right up to bed. In a show of thick headed dutchmenness my father would of been proud of she said,'Well I'll just go to sleep.' Well I'd be damned if she was just going to go to sleep and not suffer and regret the consequences of her decision. How dare she thwart my plan!  Teri jumped in before I said something like 'No you won't being going to sleep. I'm making you stay up extra late for that!!' Teri said that Elena was to go upstairs and get her cell phone, her Ipad and bring them both downstairs. Teri had decided on the nuclear option, Elena was losing her electronics, her toys, her babies. The Ipad and phone were put on the center of the table and left there for everyone to see and be reminded of the futility of rebellion.  Later I got in on the destruction when I caught her using her computer. Her response to the expected question was, "No one said I couldn't use it." and she was right, so I told her it was included in the bad.
     That night We made her sit with us as we watched a movie she had no interest in. There was the occational seigh, but for the most part she was good. In an effort to end this I gave her a very impassioned plea. I told her if she got up early, not really early, maybe did her chiors and sat down about eleven and did her homework I would talk to her mother and maybe Elena would be allowed to go to the library (yes, we took that away to.no she doesn't go there to read books, they have video games to play there.) . I also explained how We don't want to punish her and if she just gives in a little she can get back most everything she's lost very quickly.
   The next morning she gets up, does her choirs, sits down at the table at eleven and does her homework. She is done in under an hour. All that for nothing,wow. She goes to the Library, she still loses her eletronics until Monday night when she is forced to sit through another family night.
  We both hope she takes something from all this, but I don't know, I hope.
  She has forced me to take long deep hard looks at who I was growing up and how I changed. I was just like her in not letting anyone tell me what to do.She is more overt then I ever was. If someone wanted me to do something I didn't want to do I'd listen and do what I wanted to. I remember my mom fixing me a plate of home made french fries and a steak. For some reason I didn't want to eat it.I sat there for the longest time. It was one of my favorite meals. The only cure for me was to grow up.