First Monday in February and Karen.

I'm sitting at the dinning room table watching my daughter, Nastia scrape off the frost from her wind shield with a glove I left in her car. It is the beginning of a new week, the first full week of February and on this Monday I feel in the mood to unburden myself if you don't mind.
     Over the weekend We buried Karen. She is the sister of my brother's wife. She was only in her fifties and it was a shock getting the news. I don't remember where I was, only that Teri called and gave me the news. That seems to be the way bad new travels in our family. When Eric and Lynn were in their accident twenty odd years ago, it was Teri who called me. I was out delivering milk at the beginning of the week, I think and I was at Bardonia Deli. It's now a CVS Pharmacy.
     Ever since the call about Karen anytime the phone ring I get a feeling of dread. All the old fears have come back to the surface. Fears that this phone call will be the one.
     Both my daughters have been in small accidents since they have started driving. Nastia's recent accident is costing between $1,300.00 and $1,700.00 to fix. So much for honesty. It's going through Insurance because no one has that kind of money. It just seems she did the right thing and it feels so wrong now. I guess my moral compass is off this morning. I know accidents are part of the learning process.
      We ask the Girls to call when they get to where they are going and they are very good about calling when they have reached their destination. Ever since Karen, if the phone call comes and I have forgotten they are getting out of work or something and they are mumbling, like on occasion they do I get scared that something has happened.
     I know it will begin to fade a little as the days go by. Everyone needs time to heal. You don't expect to lose someone like Karen out of the blue like that. Their will be big holes in everyone's life for a while. Some may never heal.