Hopefully it's still early

Hopefully it is still early. Over the weekend the Yankees won and look to be going to the playoff, On the other hand, the Jets and Giants lost in poor fashion and don't look to be going anywhere in the early going.
       My Daughters on the other hand are scaring me. Elena, I am told hates school which has caused me to look closer at her this morning. I hugged her a little too long and a little too tightly when I told her to have a good day. I wasn't inspired by her monotoned reply. I guess Teri and I will be having a sit down with her to see how she is doing in school and if Elena will open up a little, how she is doing in life. If it wasn't for Nastia I'd know nothing about what is going on in Elena's life.
       When I was in therapy I was the same way. It's no fun being in therapy and it is even less fun looking in from the outside not knowing what is going on inside.
       I know she suffered several severe tramas in the orphanage in Russia. I know that because early on when at a very young age she said she'd had....well let's just say she didn't know the significance of what she had said. She was very young and now that she is older what happened is coming home to eat at her and she needs to talk about it and let it bleed a little. It will cleanse the soul, I know it works. I wish she could read this and believe in it. I saw her after therapy last Wednesday. Her eyes seemed like they had seen tears recently. I asked her if she was all right and of course she said she was fine. She'd never admit to a weakness. God no she must always project strength so no one can hurt her. That is why when I make her cry I feel so bad. Sometimes I forget how delicate like fine china she really is on the inside and how everything that she has constructed to face the world can fall apart so easily if the right person hits it.
       I once asked Nastia to go into therapy, I got a heck no! really it was a hell no! either way she said she has buried her trauma from the orphanage, which is the same trauma, I think as Elena's and has decided to live her life happy.
       Nastia was at the dinner table with Teri and I last night. The Golden Dragon in Nanuet is closed on Sundays, for family time, so we went to a place on Rt 59 in Central Nyack for our chinese food.  I don't remember what we were talking about but Nastia says that when she and David get married David wants to bring his mother over to America. All well and good. I think then someone says and she is going to live with you and David ?  Nastia then says, "Well I'll have no choice, it's his mother." What then follows is several minutes of Teri and I yelling at her that she is not a possession and she should rank above his mother in importance and she has got to start valuing herself more and it went on and on for a little too long. Teri and I are scared that Nastia will get herself into a situation where she will have no choice but to stay in because she will be unable to support herself. We keep hitting her over the head with this one fact; you need to be able to support yourself without the help of a man. Whether he leaves you or you leave him or even if he dies you don't want to be staring at a checkbook and a pile of bills wondering how am I going to make this work? To be happier in life you need to feel secure in that one thing, you can take care of yourself. She doesn't care or maybe realize how important that one thing is. Life is not easy and it will throw you few breaks. The opportunity for an education and the ability to earn more money is one of the breaks that shouldn't be overlooked because you hate school and think David will take care of you. God help them both.
     It's a few days later. Elena got home from work and I call her into the living room. I'm trying to be upbeat and not reveal what I know and what I want to learn. Teri is on the couch, Nastia is sitting on my lap in the chair. I ask Elena how was her day, a real soft ball question. It's nice and round and easy to hit. She says and I quote, "it's fine" I ask her who was school, again, "it's fine" I ask what did you do, what classes did you have? I'm probing for an opening and not seeing one. Nastia then as if on cue says, "did you change your English class?"
       I hadn't known she was changing her english class until Monday night when Nastia and I went out to dinner at The Hard Wok. She told me Elena was changing her English class to another English class that had Jasmine in it. I got very angry and started a short tirade about how I'd don't like Jasmine and how everytime she shows up Elena's mood seems to change for the worse. Rightly or wrongly I blame Jasmine. I guess that is wrong, I don't really even know her, I'm just worried about Elena.
       Elena's answer to the question of moving to another English is answered with a turse, "I couldn't, it was filled."
       Teri joins in with why is she changing English classes. Elena's response is the teacher has an Irish accent and Elena can't stand it. Teri says how she likes Irish accents and then does one.
       I get serious for a moment and ask Elena if she likes school? She says, "No" I then tell her she can quit if she wants, Teri says she'd then need a full time job, I agree. To my surprise, just a bit she says no she is not going to quit. I allows myself a brief moment of hope and joy. Maybe she'll slog her way through school hating every or most moments, or maybe she'll grow to at least tolerate it and then graduate to a decent job somewhere and take care of her sister who will still be looking for someone to do that. That's just a joke Nastia, don't be angry. I'll always be there to do it, you won't have to look. Another joke.












/