Random Thoughts over the last week or so- Anniversaries -9/11, adopting the girls and growing up.

9-11-21 is the twentieth anniversary of the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center. I've told the story several times over the years where I was and what happened that day. It also amazes me that I don't remember around this time of year back in 2009 Teri and I adopted the two most important people in our lives. I tear up a little thinking about how it all happened and how they have changed our lives. They have bought a joy into our lives that is missing when they are not around. At this time of their lives their boyfriends are their top priority. Nastia has gotten into the habit when she goes out of paying for everything. I don't know if this goes on all the time, but this last week she has spent

almost $700.00. She and Branden spent Saturday to Sunday at a cabin in Bear Mountain for his birthday. That was a little less then $500.00. She then bought dinner at Gilligan's. I'm sure it was her idea. She loves seafood and he doesn't. She then bought pizza. Last night Wednesday after bowling she goes out to dinner with Brenden and JJ. Nastia pays $75.00. She later tells me she got the money, but it never appears back in her account. She could have just spent it or she could have just paid for dinner and let everyone else slide like I would have when I thought I had money. Tuesday Nastia and Elena went out drinking again. This is the second Tuesday they have gone out on. They are both stretching their wings and I really don't like it. I feel left out of their lives. I know I'm not the first parent to feel or say those words, but that doesn't make it any easier.I don't want to go drinking with them either, that would be a big buzz kill for them. I picked them up from the house directly from leaving work, about 6:45 and drive them over to D&D's in New City. They are going to eat dinner and have a few drinks. Matt is going to pick them up at about 10:45. On the trip over to D&D's Nastia tells me she has opened a bank account for herself. To me this is another in a line of events that have made me feel unimportant in her life. And I do know that that is not the truth. I am important and our relationship is just changing, but I hate change and don't do it very well. I drop them off at D&D's and head home. Nastia gives me a hug that I can only half return. I know how stupid this must all sound, but there was a time I thought she and I were best friends who told each other things that they haven't told others. We used to talk and I'd stay up later then I should to hang out with her watching TV. She'd sit in my lap and we'd watch programs we both enjoyed that no one else liked. I get a text around 10 PM that Matt can't make it and would I pick them up? I'll give you one guess what the answer is and how quick I replied. I pick them up from D&D's about 10:45. Both get in the car. Elena puts on her head phones and is gone into her music. Nastia gets a phone call, fumbles with her head phones and the person who calls her is asking her if she would like to date either him or his friend, I think it was his friend. She replies that she is honored, but she has a boyfriend (see Branden, nothing to worry about at this point) I ask Nastia and later Elena what they did and what they ate and drank. No mention of talking to boys at the bar. They ate little to nothing and maybe had two to three drinks. They appeared very stright and sober when I came to pick them up. That is a good, it show they are watching out for themselves. At least I hope it does. The next morning I check the Bank accounts on line like I do several times a week and all of Nastia's money is gone. It feels very sneaky, like she is up to something. I ask her and her reply is the same as when I asked her the night before, I want my own account. Growing up is like the song toyland. Once you grow up and leave Toyland you can never return. /