The Angry Family at Christmas

Several years ago the program everyone loves Raymond was still running new shows. There was this one show where Ray's child draws a picture of what everyone things is their family and the child called it the angry family. the picture stuck with Teri and I.
   This year we decided, Me, with the backing I thought of the girls and went out to buy a Christmas tree, a real live one. Teri and I had a deal where every year we would switch back and forth between live and fake. One year about fifteen years ago I didn't want to spend the money,so we stayed with fake and it went on like that until the girls came and I thought they said they liked real trees. Yet it still took until this year to get one.
   We head out on a Saturday night about four about ten-twelve days before Christmas, yes we were late doing it, to buy a tree. Eric and Lynn said Pearl River had a place that sold trees for forty dollars, so we went. he was closed, but the guy just up the street was still open. We went through the trees there quickly. I felt like Teri didn't want to be there.
   Teri has lost both parents, her Uncle, both our dog and several relatives I don't remember over the past few years. It seems everyone goes through this at least one in a life time when a generation dies out. She had a big family.  don't remember the stages of grief, except for the stage of anger after my Dad died, I think Teri is going through that stage now. It's hitting home that her parents are not coming back.
   We get a tree and the guy in a questioning voice says fifty-five? Now that is a sure sign that he is unsure and will drop the price with a little pushing. It didn't seem Christmasie to do it so I just paid him. They wrapped the tree and loaded it on to car and we were off to eat dinner, at a Mexican restaurant called Cinco da Mayo over on Rt 303 in alley Cottage. We had a discount coupon from a Halloween thing over at North High school we won. Food was good and we fought a little, but it was not a bad dinner.
   Putting up the tree was another matter. I started by getting everything out and noticing the tree stand was missing an eye bolt, so Nastia and I went over to get one at Home Depot.
   The tree goes up and I start to take out 'the orniments', this is a collection of Hallmark ornaments that date back to when I moved out of my Mom's and began collect things to put on my tree. I have them in their original boxes and even some of the orginal paper work and what they were wrapped in. I can be real sick about somethings. Some my Mom gave me, but most I bought and ninety percent date from the nineties. I have started adding some to the collection that came off our Christmas tree when we were kids. They are cheap plastic and glass, but they now hold a place in my heart that they didn't back in the sixties when they were purchased. The first year I bought out 'the orniments' the girls opened them up threw the wrapping here and there and put them up. Ever since then I have only put some or none up. I've gotten a little weird about them I guess. I did see the first sign that maybe the girls do understand what they mean to me when we took the tree down and they were careful with the few that made it up on the tree and made sure they were packed in their correct boxes. I do hope that one day their grand kids will want them and feel the way I feel about the ornament that was from my Dad's tree when He was a kid. I try to take care of it and and give it a special place on the tree each year. Usually high up near the top where it won't get hit and broken. I've prepared myself for it's breaking. I don.t buy antiques any more because I broke so many of them.
   The reason only a few of 'the orniments' made it up on the tree this year was I got made at Teri. What the argument was, don't remember, it was that important. Teri and  argued over putting the bikes the girls got for Christmas together, o guy Amanda knew did it, I didn't have time. We argued over wrapping presents. Each year I promise to decorate the house, put up the tree early and try to enjoy the holiday's, in the past I called them the Hollow days. I hated Thanksgiving through my birthday (end of January) ( Yea, My birthday was part of the hollow days). Then I learned to enjoy Thanksgiving, I don't know what changed. Christmas was still a hard time. I can justbarely manage to buy gifts for Teri. I don't know if it is the fact that it is another mind set to stop and buy present or if I'm just lazy. Teri does all the gift buying. Maybe I'm just being my Dad, who usually got my sister to get presents for my mom. You do what you know.
   THis is still a blog about the girls and I have travelled very far afield today and before I give in to the desire to erase this I will stop and come back another time and talk about Nastia's birthday and New Years.