An Odd New Years eve

2020 has passed into the rearview mirror and I hope to never see such a year again. I feel that at a minimum I have lost nine months of my life. Everyone says that this past year they have been able to reconnect with family. Not ours. Teri works from home yes, but the girls go off to work every day or so as do I. Some nights I don't get home until after seven and Teri will still be working. It has gotten to the point that Teri said she wants to retire this coming March. We got together with our financial advisor, Tom Lynch to see how we stack up. I thought that if we kept

working at it until we both reached 66 1/2, we'd have enough to retire here in Rockland. On the other hand, on Teri's 62nd birthday we'd come up rather short of the monies needed for Teri to retire. I thought if it would help I was willing to throw in my monies. They were a lot less than I'd thoiught they'd be. In the next three and change years for me they are supposed to grow up rather alot I've been told.

So with no immediate plans to retire we both face our first and hopefully last Covid New Year. Usually we'd go over Eric and Lynn's and sit around and watch TV, talk, do whatever. I didn't think I'd miss it so much. Around eight, with Terion the couch, I put on the movie 'When Harry met Sally' I thouight it was an appropiate movie as it ends on a New

Years night and it is one of Teri's most favorite movies. About half way through it Teri is asleep like usual, I tried. After that She says to turn on something that she won't find interesting, so I put on Star Trek Discovery.

I love it she hates it. After a while even thought New Years is less then an hour away she goes upstairs. The girls left for upstairs long ago, so it is just me an my thoughts. No, I wasn't lonely. I spent a little while grieving over the number of years I'd been alive, missing being younger and enjoying life. I think it was Hunter S. Thompson who said just before he killed himself something about it being a waste to live beyond thirty because life was boring or something like that. I didn't appreciate being young not having anything to compare it too. I used to

love when I'd catch a womens eye. Now sitting in my chair alone with my thoughts at the end of Covid 2020, looking forward to a future that would eventually get better, a felt tears come to my eyes as the clock slowly ticked it's way toward midnight. It seemed at that point that Covid season would just go on and on. They keep pushing back the date that commoners like you and I can get our Covid shots. I hear more then half of the NYPD don't

want to get shots. Not enought for herd immunity boys! So Covid will just keep on going until over 70% of the nation has gotten it sometime around the two year mark if the Spanish flu is any guage in the matter. So that means I'll be saying good bye to Covid 2021 in a year hoping that everyone I love has managed to see another year through. I know Happy Fucking New Year!! I can't leave it like that now can I? It would be real easy to do that. I mean it is New Years day night, no I'm sorry it is twelve minutes after midnight, I can hear Teri yelling lightly at the girls (yelling lightly at the girls. what the hell is that) about not brushing their teeth. I guess they both want to be like my dad who had all of his teeth pulled when he went into the army. in 1942 or there about.

It's quiet now, the little darlings have brushed their teeth and Teri has closed the bathroon door. Except for the sound of water running there is no other sound, it is peacful. Teri opens the door and I hear her say good night to Elena, Nastia as soon as her head hits the pillow is in dream land. The dogs are settled, my wife is settled and the girls are settled. Everyone is settled in for the night and again tonight I am left to listen to the voices in my head and the thought that they utter. Someone hiccups and Teri asks if they are alright. The house goes quiet again, now the heater in the kitchen clicks on and I want to end this piece on a positive note. I stop to think about everyone. I haven't lost anyone this past year. Even though Teri hates her job and I'm tired of mine, we both have jobs. The girls are safe in their beds and soon I will join Teri in ours. A distant hiccup competes with the kitchen heater for my attation. I know I have droned on for far too long about crap and I should stop. It's just that I find comfort and some sort of vague meaning writting this. Even with all the spelling mistakes and grammer issues I wouldn't have kept this up for all of these years if I didn't really enjoy doing it. I guess I can add that to the list of things in my life that I can be greatful for. The list it turns out is surprisingly long, I just need to remember to write it down one day, just after I finish Elena's room, the kitchen cabinets, the attic, build the shed........... /