Parenting

Parenting was different in my parents houses from the way we were raised and from the way we now are attempting to raise our kids.
  My Dad was only involved in raising us in a major way while we were young. I don't know if Eric or Ruth remember him being that involved. He was raised by two parents until he was about nine. His Mom died from a miscarriage, I was told. His father was a raging alcoholic until the fifties when he gave it up. My Mom will tell you he was a sweet heart while she knew him. Others will disagree.

1963

   I remember my Dad coming into our room, Karl's and mine, the back bedroom on the right side, with his belt off swing it in a rage, even calling us little bastards. Once he nailed the window shut, when we had it open during the winter for a little fresh air. It stayed nailed shut until one day, months later the nail seemed a little loose and I took them out hoping he would not notice.
   My Mom was a hitter when we, Karl and I, were younger. I remember the day she sat me down on the lower bunk bed (All memoirs are subject to embellishment) after I had done something wrong and told me she was not going to hit anymore. It was the way she was raised and she wanted things to be different.
   My Mom was also raised by a raging alcoholic and she also lost her mom at an early age, about twelve, to TB. Her Aunt, her mom's sister invited her to New York for a trip and I don't know if she ever went back. She married at about nineteen and Karl was born shortly after.
   All of this back round leads up to the heart of this story, how I raise my kids. I say I because I have different opinions from Teri on how it is done. I sometimes think Teri would love to wrap them up in bubble wrap and let nothing happen to them. I on the other hand will say to them after they have fallen off their bike or something, walk it off. I have been told I sound uncaring. Just the opposite, I care very deeply, I just don't think the little things are big enough to get upset over, because they will happen. This is not a column to bash Teri. She was the one who saved her father's life at least twice and she is the one I'm counting on to do it for me.

1955

   I admire the way my brother Karl never curses in front of Kristen. I would of liked to have done that, notice the past tense. I get so wound up some times that I can't help it. And now my daughters are starting to curse in front of me. If I had cursed in front of my Dad, I would of gotten the back of his hand across my mouth, when I was younger I did get my mouth washed out with soap by my mom. Even now I rarely curse in front of my Mom. Some of it is respect, but most of it is up bringing.
   I admire the way my sister worked through the problems she had with her boys, to the point they are something to be very proud of. We grew up in an environment, and I'm not saying it was bad, it's just the way it was. If you got something and it broke, you fixed it. If you couldn't fix it, then you made due. I do it a lot of times now. I was given a radio about a dozen years ago by my Mother. I wanted a radio that got TV stations so I could listen to TV in the shower. Several years ago TV went digital, so that ended, but I kept the radio and listened to it while I showered, even after the tuner started going on it. For all of you 21st century types that is the thing you turned to get the stations. This radio was predigital. Anyway when it started to fade in and out a few years ago I made due.
I always admired the fact that none of my brothers or sister ever made due and I always thought that would be my biggest challenge raising kids. I was wrong, it was and is my temper. I thought I had put that monster to bed years ago, then one day out of the blue I am screaming at the top of my lungs at the girls. I know some of you have noticed, come on now raise those hands...Good, now that's better, doesn't it feel good to get it out and you see I do know you know and I am working on it and I am getting better. Every time I think I gotten over it I find myself screaming at them for something stupid. Even in that I am better. I will sometimes tell them it is stupid or I will go back later and tell them they did not deserve that. Sometimes I even tell them I'm in a bad mood don't push me.

   All my brothers and sister's kids are all well behaved and people to be proud of.
   Karl and Madeline di a wonderful job on Kristen. Eric and Lynn did fabulous jobs on their kids. And Ruth all by herself raised two gentlemen who will make fine men. I still don't know how my mother raised four kids and remained sane. She also manages to stay out of quarrels between us for better or worse.
   Considering the long road traveled, it is a miracle any of us ever had kids much less raised them well. Yes the jury is still out on my family. My Girls are doing well, is that inspite of me or ...?