Arrival

After Arrival
July 10, 2008
It has been a while since I wrote in this. During that time we worked getting the house in order. And last night you guys arrived. Your Mom and I (I figure it’s time to write it that way) were real up tight last night. We gathered up some plastic bags in case you got sick, a change of clothes and a gift, a white rabbit and a bear.
At 7:30 we set off. A quick trip to McDonald’s to get burgers and we got on the Thruway and off we went. We really didn’t know what to expect. We had been told many stories about how the children would act and we were also told they don’t all act that way.
We were told to expect a shy tired 'camper' who had just spent the better portion of their last two days taking their first plane trip and maybe their first car ride. They also might get car sick and if when you got them home don’t worry if they sleep for the next dozen hours or so.

Here is how it went down. And I have the video and pictures to prove it. At about 8:45 we are told that the campers have arrived. I get in place so I can get a good picture of you coming in. There were only four kids coming to this house. The first two came in quiet and tired and shy, just like expected. Next came in one of the hosts who said that our girls were outside still. I felt something might be wrong, like someone was getting sick or something. We start towards the door and to our right comes the sound of some banging on a piano. We turn and you two are pounding on this poor guy’s piano and he trying to get you to be gentle because he had just gotten it tuned. Next the two of you come over and put stickers from our picture on us and give each of us a hug. We move away from the Piano and toward the room where the boys are. I take some pictures. Elena discovers the camera and wants to take pictures. I put the strap on her wrist and she goes around taking pictures of everyone and everything. The both of you eat fruit nonstop. When you are not eating fruit, you are giving it to everyone. I get down facing Nastia at her level when she climbs on my back. I guess that was something you might have done with your birth father. She stays up there for a while and when I put her down Elena gets up and I walk around with her. This goes on for a while until the translators arrive and we want to show you our picture book. Both of your books will go back to Russia and I will try to make up a third one for us. We get out the book and we get about thirty seconds of your time and that was only because of the picture of the dogs.
The time gets on to about 11:00 and we decide it is time to try this on our own. We get you in the car with the help of others and you are told by the translator to keep your seat belts on. We get about a mile down the road and both of you are out of them, a few minutes after that you are out of them again. This time the translator shows up and tells you two to keep your seat belts on. We end up stopping about six times for seat belt discussions and we make one detour for Elena to make a bathroom break at McDonald’s in Ossining. We get you home about midnight and I have to go to bed to get up for work the next morning. I get ready for bed and go. Mama takes care of the two of you. You continue running around after every time we put you back to bed. It gets to be after 2 AM. I tried to let the two of you sleep in the bed with us and that lasted for about two minutes. Finally Mama puts her foot down and puts you both to bed and stands there until you two fall asleep around 2:30. At 6:30 you’re both up and I try to get a last couple of minutes of sleep to no avail. You guys ate breakfast of cereal with and without milk, Fruit and something else I don’t remember.
I leave while you two are being given a bath. About an hour later I call from the parking lot at McDonalds to see how things are. Mama answers the phone and then starts yelling nyet, nyet, nyet. I tell her not knowing if she is listening I’ll be there in ten minutes. When I get there the both of you are in the street wearing your underwear and a shirt. One of you are jumping rope while the other is holding the dog Mama is on the porch and she shrugs her shoulders and says in a voice full of frustration, “I can’t get them in.” I manage to get the two of you in and I help entertain the two of you until Sally comes over to help. This very smart women speaks broken English. There is nothing wrong with the way she speaks; it’s just the way she pronounces that makes it sound broken. She is off the boat Italian. She proceeds to teach you English, providing our first laugh of the day. She also gives you a bike which I’m sure you’ll ride many times while here. The three of us go to the bike shop down from the house, just past the traffic light neat the corner of 303 and Lake Rd. We get two helmets and put training wheels on the bike.
At home we try riding it in the street and in the backyard with little luck to show for it. We eat dinner in the kitchen having hot dogs and pickles as dinner. We then load you two into the Envoy and go to Uncle Eric’s to ride bikes. When we get there the two of you are asleep. We wake you and both are slow to get out until you realize what we are there for. Bike riding for a while, then some slides and an ice pop induced brain freeze late and your day is over. We get you home and you are so tired you put yourselves to bed.

July 11, 2008
We spent the day in a seminar about adoption and the two of you got to go swimming with everyone.

We were afraid you would miss us and get scared and want us to come and pick you up. Never happened.

July 13, 2008 the Weekend
Each day is getting a little better. Saturday we fed you fruit and yogurt and cookies and more fruit and more fruit. We, I had planned a trip to Fairlawn NJ to River Rd where there is a Russian Community and we, I figured we could walk around and you guys could talk to people in Russian, neither of you are afraid of talking to strangers. We plan to leave at 1:30 and didn’t leave until 3:30. Uncle Donald got a bogus ticket on the way there(No seatbelt, state troopers can be real asses) and the trip was long and Mama kept yelling at you guys and in my ear and poor Amanda was between the two of you , so by the time we got there we, I wanted to leave. You guys were awful, just like real kids in the store and the store owner was not like a real owner. You guys picked everything in the store you wanted and he let us give him what we, Mama didn’t want. We then went to Wallmart to get you guys swim suits and sneakers and it was a disaster. There was no foot sizer to find out what size your feet were, the isles were all a mess and there were no shoes of your size. You wanted shoes that lit up when you walked and there were none, you weren’t happy. Everyone was waiting at the pool to swim with you and by the time we made it everyone was gone. Mama went to change and feed the dogs and by the time she got back you two were out. Same with Uncle Donald and Aunt Nancy, So we went home and had dinner, fruit and hot dogs for you guys, pizza for us. You don’t like pizza.
Today Mama planned a dinner for Mema and Pop pop and she said it was a minor disaster. Food was good and we found out that Nastia likes salsa and Mexican and Elena might like it. Both of you love watermelon and you each had several slices and some honey dew and some yogurt and water and milk and… Nastia loves salsa on bananas at least she said she did and she ate it. Its 11:56 and I have to go to bed, first day at camp for you two and back to work full time for me and almost full time for
Teri. Cousin Billy left for Switzerland today to participate in a karate tournament.

July 15, 2008
It only took about an hour yesterday for the two of you to get kicked out of the town of Clarkstown camp. We should have expected the outcome but like all endeavors concerning the two of you we underestimated the situation.

It was raining and not the type of day for kids’ to be playing outside. The two of you get worked up in new environments and we blindly went in and dropped you off late. IF we had gotten there early it might have been different. Mama says it was more inexperienced kids’ babysitting two kids they weren’t prepared to handle. We were very upset over the incident. Why, you might ask and you would have a good point. I think we were starting to feel overwhelmed and feeling we had made a mistake that we were no longer the proper age to be first time parents. I’ve had my little brother lecture me on raising kids and even though long ago I realized he was a smart person and had a lot of good knowledge, this little talk he had with me still hurt. Anyway, we picked up two up and Mama missed another day of work and I missed half a day that I didn’t tell the boss about. In desperation before you were picked up by Mama I called Anna a women who I hope has the time to become part of your family and asked her to speak to the two of you and get you to act like you can and I have seen you act. She did, but it was too late. Mama drove you guys over to Tolstoy nursing home and she talked to the four of us giving Mama and me encouragement and telling the two of you that you were not acting properly. She then offered to come over on Tuesday and spend some time with the four of us and to talk to the two of you. Mama went home and I went to work. Later in the day Mama got you into a camp for gymnastics that the Bridge of Hope people knew about and said spoke Russian.
The Next day Aunt Nancy came over, Amanda was in summer school and Uncle Donald was working, and her and I brought you over to the camp and got you signed up. Right away you start the same antics. You found lollipops again just like in Clarkstown , but this time I stopped the two of you and with my permission the owners wife I think, a tall blond women who I thought would speak Russian to you scolded you in English saying no,no,no,no…and the two of you stopped. Next a small girl about your age or so who spoke Russian was told to take you into the back room and prepare you for class. Aunt Nancy and I watched for about twenty minutes and the two of you were great. You followed the instructor and I kept waiting for one of you to rush off and do something dangerous.
Later that night Anna (Aunt Anna?) came over and talked to you and we found out that you both read very well and Anastasia claims to remember nothing about her mother. I will pry further later. Anna and Galaxy Gym are looking to be God send and it may enable us to adopt you two and feel that we have not made a mistake. We are so concerned about your behavior that we are spending a thousand dollars to have you two tested. It will happen on the 23rd of the month. You will get to play for several hours and a doctor will watch and talk to you one at a time, what a country, what a racket. It’s 11:06, Mama is in your room watching Bambi with Elena, while Anastasia tries to sleep and you know what Anastasia will be up at 6:30 and Elena will still be sleeping at 7:00. I imagine this to be the future.

Mama’s letter to some friends:
Some of you have already heard the story but I figured you'd love to hear it again.
Now picture this… At ever
y workshop that Joe and I attended the message was clear, many of the children are not used to a lot of things that we take for granted. They will probably be shy, very quiet, and not want to communicate with us. They might be afraid of everything, even the telephone. The profiles we received on the girls both said they liked to sit quietly and do arts and crafts play games and read books. Our instructions were that instead of picking the children up at the airport which would be too distracting we were to meet them at a coordinators house in Westchester which would be a calm, quiet setting. There's two other families involved each one getting a little boy. We were all hanging out in the kitchen waiting anxiously. At about 9:00 PM the van holding the kids and the coordinators showed up. Two little boys walk in, so sweet, so innocent, so quiet, and so calm. They're introduced to their parents and proceed to sit down and look at a picture album each of the parents brought for them. At this point we got a little concerned and asked one of the coordinators if they forgot our girls. We were assured that they would be in shortly, so we continued to watch the front door. Then all of a sudden the door opened and there was a flash of light and another flash of light both of them taking off to a room on the right (it wasn't the kitchen!) They found a piano. One of the coordinators told them to come meet Mama and Papa, and the flashes of light come running into the room recognizing us immediately, jumping into our arms, onto our backs, trying to get onto our shoulders. Then they see the bird, try to grab it, then they see the fruit, then they see the toys, then they jump up into our arms again, then they see the cheese, then they put their hands in the dip, then they go for the bird again, then they crawl up Joe's back, then they're back at the piano again, then trying to go upstairs, then they're opening all the drawers in the kitchen, then they finally sit to look at the album. After about an hour of this it was time to leave. Now keep in mind most orphans from Russia are not familiar with cars. Ours are. They were fighting over who got to sit in the front seat. I won! Then we fight about the seat belts. Nobody wants to wear the shoulder strap. We get it on them and we start the trip home. Halfway down the driveway they have the shoulder strap of the seat belt behind them, so we pull over and put it around them. Then we get onto the road and they did it again. So we pull over again. This time one of the translators that was at the coordinators house pulled up alongside us and told them that they had to wear the seatbelt properly. That lasted until we got on the highway. We weren't on the highway 5 minutes and they had to go to the bathroom. (Yes I did make them go before we got in the car!) So we found McDonalds. They did what they had to do and we started the whole process again, from fighting about who sat in the front and seat belts (I won again). We got them home showed them the house and introduced them to the dogs. Got them ready for bed, it was after all after 11:00! Joe had to go to work the next day. They jumped on their beds, they jumped on our bed, they played with the TV, the lights, the ceiling fan controls, they ran upstairs, downstairs, in their room, in our room, jump on the beds again. I finally passed out at 2:30; I don't know what the hell they did after that.

They were up the next morning at 6:00 am. I gave them cereal for breakfast, a piece of fruit and milk. I had my coffee and considered hitting the wine but thought better of it. I figured I'd get them dressed and put them in front of the TV while I took my shower and got dressed myself. Well I got shirts on them, then they found the jump ropes and decided they were dressed enough, ran down the stairs unlocked the front door and ran down the front steps and proceeded to jump rope in their shirt and underwear, in the middle of the road. Let's just say they were better dressed than I was. Of course the front door didn't close properly and the dog decides to join the party. So here I am not properly dressed running after the dog, running after 2 girls and of course some guy from up the street decides to stop me and ask if I've seen his freaking Chihuahua!

Let's just say I was extremely frustrated!!! As I got them into the house the phone rings its Joe asking how everything was going. Through the sobs I was able to tell him. I call my girlfriend to get over to the house as soon as possible with her mother in law Florence, who speaks Russian. She tells me they'll be at the house as soon as possible. Joe gets home. Watches the girls so I can shower dress. As I'm debating on whether I should take the bottle of pain killers now or wait until later, there's a knock at the door. Joe's running to the door shouting with relief "Florence is here, Florence is here!" Well it wasn't, it was my girlfriends "off the boat" Italian mother bearing chocolate chip cookies. I had the freaking League of Nations in my living room!
Needless to say we finally made it through the day. Because they are escape artists we padlocked the three gates in our fence that surround the property, I can't get out, but the girls are very good about climbing fences.
They managed to get themselves kicked out of the town camp within an hour, but we found a gymnastics boot camp with some Russian speaking students and coaches. And we're finding ways to communicate with each other (I yell and they laugh)
All in all the first week has been an adventure!
Teri

July 20, 2008
It has been an interesting weekend. I must say I do create my own problems, back to the beginning. I don’t remember when or why, but I went out and made a contact with a Russian speaking person at Tolstoy Nursing Home. She promised to help out whenever necessary. On your first day of camp it was raining and you guys do not, at the time react well to being confined and to new situations. I have been told that you started before you got on the plane and continued all the way to 2:30 in the morning after we picked you two up.

Not stopping, well this camp was also run by a twenty two or so year olds that had a staff of teenagers, well intentioned but teenagers. Whose experience must have been babysitting the neighbors sleeping brat. You two were tossed in under an hour. The next day your mama has a new camp, a gymnastics camp, with councilors who speak Russian and will not take your crap. It works out very well. They make a request and we make changes, like instead of sugary drinks it’s now water. Ok, where does Anna fit into all this? When the two of you are tossed from camp mama and I are overly upset and I am trying to find a person to talk to you two because Florence, our interpreter is with her mother at the doctor and I go to Tolstoy and ask Ann to talk to the two of you. It’s too late so she says to bring the two of you by and she will talk to you. Before you two arrive or maybe it is at the introduction, I think it was the introduction, a guy named Scott asks if he can give my name and number to a women named Masha( pronounced Ma-Sha) who came over to America and didn’t speak a word of English and learned on her own and would love to help. We talk on the phone and I get the impression that she is a nervous person and she talks real fast and kind of rambles. I think maybe we can be friends. She calls three times in an hour and really wants to help. Anna had asked if it was ok to talk to you two about religion and we said yes we were curious about your religion and wanted to continue it. If we don’t this is the reason why. Anna said one of you was baptized and the other was unsure, but were Russian Orthodox and wanted to go to church. Mama and I made vague plans to go. Now along comes Masha and Elena’s walking on the porch roof. Saturday morning Mama and I are enjoying a quiet breakfast with the two of you upstairs and it was quiet, too quiet, so I go up and find Nastia trying to open the bathroom window and Elena outside on the porch. I freak and yell at Elena who runs over to Mama’s window in the bedroom and is inside. My heart is pounding, I feel like I almost lost one of you, a total over reaction.

I did the same type of stuff as a kid. It’s you just never think of falling off the roof until you do. I grab Elena and can’t get a hold of Luda (a friend from Consolidated Dairy days) I don’t think of Florence, but wait there is Masha and her number is on an e-mail. With Elena in my lap I call her and tell her what happened and ask her to tell you never to do it again. She talks to you and of course being just yelled at you doesn’t answer her except to say yes to her question about going to church. Where the hell that question came from I don’t know I didn't ask it and I didn’t care at that point. I wanted you off the porch roof. Elena hands me back the phone and in all her brilliance Masha says Elena is depressed and might be suicidal and needs to come to Church tomorrow so I can talk to her. Twenty minutes later after she informed me she might have to take action if we did not show up on Sunday and that she did not approve of Americans adopting Russian children. Even if you learn the language, perfectly, there is a cultural difference which you can never know about she spouts. She was more interested in Russian children being raised Russian then in having parents and being happy. If you never set foot in a Russian church it is her fault. Mama and I believe religion is important, any religion is as good as any other and we respect them all. We both just hate zealots, people who think there way is the only way. Too many wars have been fought over this and we will not indoctrinate two more into the cause. Respect others, but be careful of their motives. Masha had a program and she may have felt it was in your best interest, she just could not see that her methods were wrong and maybe even evil.

That was Saturday and on Sunday morning at 11:15 she called looking for us I hung up on her, she called back, I hung up she then called the home number which I never gave her, I hung it up before either of you got it. She called again and it went to the answer machine, where she proceeded to leave her threat to stop your adoption. She may have at one point had good intensions, but not in her message that morning. I then called the police and they said to call her and tell her to never call again and if she does call them, which I did. I told Masha, in a calm, clear voice to her answer machine, because she did not pick up to never call me again, to never call my house again to never talk to me, my wife or my kids. I would appreciate her respecting my wishes, thank you. I then hung up. And you though all the crazies lived only in your time and nothing happened before you knew about it.

After all that we went to the Bridge of Hope required picnic in Katonah, where we proceeded to tell everyone in the bridge of hope program about our very own psycho and got advice from Patrice (Runs the program, a good person with the best of intensions) on how to handle it and how she could help. I’m talking to Anna and Scott tomorrow and I hope that will end it all. I don’t think her threat of when she goes to Moscow in August, where she will do everything to stop your adoption will get very far. I hate to say this but you were available to any Russian first, we are last on the list and we can lose you if anyone, family member, another Russian whatever comes along so, unless she knows someone who wants to adopt a couple of terrors you’re ours.
Mama and I and the two of you did a good job at the picnic, everyone loved the two of you and talked about how you were a handful and wished us luck with the two of you. Mama and I were a little scared we would have some problems with the orphanage officials, I don’t really remember why.

July 21, 2008
Well, we got a good review from the orphanage director, she could see your Mama really loved the two of you and was impressed with the way the two of you behaved. I don’t think congratulations are really due us. The improvement in your behavior is due to just a little attention by two people who care.
I went to talk to Anna about Masha today and she was surprised that Scott had introduced us to her Anna described her as vicious. I felt she was overly nationalist. Either way Anna said she would talk to either Scott or Masha and hopefully put an end to all this stupidness.

The two of you were talking and it is late (9:50, bedtime is 8:30, yea right) and I just stopped writing to quiet the two of you down (really it was Elena, she never wants to go to sleep, Nastia goes to sleep when she is tired and usually gets herself up at 6:30) Elena said something I didn’t understand, but it didn’t matter she kept right on talking, waved me down and kissed me. As I left she blew me a kiss. Nastia said good night to me in English. You little buggers get under the skin quick.

July 23, 2008
We took the two of you to a Doctor today to have you tested to see what crap is going on in your heads. The results were not as bad as we felt they would be and we were happy. There is a good chance that one or both of you have ADD or ADHD. Both of you have poor eye sight and refuse to wear glasses. There is a problem with Nastia’s Thyroid gland causing several things, one being sensitivity to cold. There is a possibility of your birth mother drinking before your birth and both reports will be included in this. We went to lunch at an Italian restaurant where we found out Nastia likes spaghetti.

July 27, 2008

Yesterday we went to a friend of mines who speaks Russian. Her name is Lyuda. She lives in Princeton NJ, which is an hour and a half from here. The trip down in the mustang was pretty good until the end where the two of you got into a quick fist fight. We had a dinner with Lyuda and her husband. Afterwards we sat down and asked Nastia questions. Some of the answers were surprising, other were disturbing. We learned that

Nastia doesn’t remember her birth mother’s name, neither did Elena. Nastia described her father as a suit wearing man with brown hair and you had spent four years in the orphanage up to this time. Nastia called her mother a crazy drunk and said there was an older sister that works but we didn’t find out if she ever came by to visit. Nastia asked Lyuda’s husband if he was a drunk because he was drinking a beer. It was a nice time until the trip home. Up to this point I was not a believer in sugar and hyper activity, but the trip home changed all that. The two of you sang, talked giggled, screamed, everything imagined to the point that I pulled over and had my hand out to smack the crap out of the two of you. Mama stopped me. For the rest of the trip home I ignored the two of you. I was so furious that it continued into the next day as more of numbness. By the end of the day after some swimming in Uncle Eric’s pool and some dinner at the Hard Walk restaurant and some hugs and kisses from the two of you it began to lift. Then the realization you were leaving on Saturday has started to set in and both of us are not going to take it too well. The families are going to take it better, but not too well.

You have gotten under everyone’s skin and it’s not going away. WE are going to try to pay a lawyer here to talk to a lawyer there and pay the right official to get you back as soon as possible. We want you back by December 1st, but feel it is a long shot. We’ll see.

July 29, 2008
Well you got thrown out of camp yesterday. We took it better then when you got thrown out from the first camp. And today you got thrown out again. Both times for acting up and not listening to the leaders of your group and for biting and running around and for cursing and for running outside. When asked by Aunt Lyuda why Nastia said it was because you didn’t like the camp. Since we are down to the final few days Mama will work from home and you will not go to camp anymore. You will most likely go swimming for the final three days. Good for you a little rough on Mama.

August 01, 2008
Well, it’s finally here and the two of you are gone.

The day went more or less as planned, except you didn’t go swimming as we had hoped. It started to rain just as we left and kept going for a while. You would have only got to swim for a short while because we had planned a little lunch with the grandparents at noon at the pancake house where we found another person who spoke Russian. I’m amazed at how many there are in the area when you look for them. After lunch we went to liquidators to pick up luggage with wheels on the bottom so you would not have to carry the bags which seem to have gotten a lot heavier. We got over to Yorktown Heights about 3:10 they loaded you in the car about 3:45 and off you went. Everyone commented about how well you behaved today as if we had done something wonderful with the two of you and I can’t think of anything special we did except act like caring people toward two really wonderful kids who stole our hearts and who we dearly miss after they have been gone only three hours. The house is so quiet that I am going up stairs to check on Mama because I have no one else to check on.

Back to Yorktown Heights, we get out of the car and the others are there and we stand around talking and the two of you are horsing around just a little bit and I’m thinking that it will be a repeat of the first night we met you, but it wasn’t. The highlight was when Nastia climbed on rooftop of I think Liz’s Mercedes SUV and I pick you up and take you off and sat the two of you down that is when people were impressed with us. We watched you go down the driveway and waved at you the whole time. I’m going to treat this enforced absence like the two of you are at camp and will be back at the end of the summer.
Some stories I might have left out:

The first one is when Elena got a real kick out of giving Mama the finger and how it lead to them being closer

Last summer with the girls

The Girls
May 25, 2008
Iv’e started this a little late in the process. We have known who you two are for the last two weeks or so. I must admit that I was not anxious to take on the lives of two new humans when Teri first bought up the idea of getting involved with the Bridge of Hope.
We decided that we would not try to have children and that if it happened it happened. That was back about 1996. Coming up on my 50th birthday (2008)I had long ago come to terms with the fact that I was going to be Uncle Joe all my life and that fact was rammed home when my sister’s husband died and she was left with two young children. For the next several months or so I made it my duty to take them out somewhere at least once a week. They were young so we went to a place called ‘Jeepers’ in the Palisades Mall. It had a kids maze and games and if you did it right you could walk in for free and only pay for the games. Needless to say the place did eventually go out of business. But until that time the three of us had fun there. This lasted until I sold my business. I owned a milk delivery company that I had been given by my father to me when he died.

It was during the winter of 2007-08, maybe the early spring of 08 when Teri saw an article on the bridge of hope and the work they did. She came to me and said she wanted to look into it. I said OK because I try to give her everything I can( yes even that puppy you always ask for you and will get eventually) I didn’t really want to become a father. I felt that we both were to busy. We ate dinner many times at 8:30 at night and that was too late for adults much less kids. But I went along with her desire and we went to a meeting in Westchester and were introduced to some people who had adopted before and they told us their stories and I figured that would be the end of it. Teri continued forward wrote to get the paper work and bugged me to fill it out, me dragging my feet all the way.
The magic day for me was I think a Tuesday in the beginning of May end of April 2008. I was working talking to a Dunkin Donuts owner in Stony Point, in a bad cell phone area when I get the call from a 301 number. I figured that since I was in a bad area it was a mistake and it was not for me so, yes I answered it. It was Rene from the Bridge of hope or the parent group calling to tell us we were going to get a child. The phone kept breaking up and I asked her about the child. She said that we had a choice of two girls or a boy. I asked about the girls and why the choice. She said their names were Anastasia and Elaina. And the reason for the choice was one of the girl paper work said she was retarded and if we could not deal with that we could have the boy. There may have been a simple reason for me to receive the call, but the fact was that I had received it and I was the one who was not going at this full speed. Rene said she could not get Teri on either of her phone numbers and she would give me the information. At the sound of your names I got all choked up and again felt the hand of god. I fell in love with you guys and all my doubts were erased, for the time being. I would have doubts and fears and wonder if I did and am doing the right thing for you two and for myself. After the call I called Teri and asked her if she would like two girls to be hers. I got a cautious response from her and we discussed the information we had. It took a few days to decide that we would take the chance and bring the two of you over to America for the month of July and see what happens. Both of us knowing we would likely fall in love with you.
Now it is about a month before you guy get here and I know that you live in Birobidjan, about two hours from China and about 15 hours ahead of us time wise. It is the place Stalin sent all the Jew in the thirties to live. Neither of you were born there. It is cold there in the winter and I don’t want to come and pick the two of you up in January. I was hoping like Chinese food you could be delivered. I doubt it.I sent away for a cd on the Russian language. It sounds like it will be a scary trip, but if you guys can come to America I guess we can return the favor and go pick you up in about six or eight months. I am learning to speak Russian and I’m hogging the tape a little bit. I drive all day and have the ability to listen to it for several hours a day. After the first day of listening to it I was very frustrated. I had the first chapter down and then something happened and I could not remember any of it so I put it down and came back to it the next day and started over. I made slow progress over the next few days and I learned something about myself, that I can apply myself to something hard and I can learn it. My hope is that when you get here I’ll be able to speak with you a little and that when we pick you up early next year I will be a lot better. I know about three dozen words now and at every opportunity I try to use them on Teri. So for now it’s spa-COIN-a NO-chee (good night, there are no Russian characters on this computer.
May 25,2008

Much fun was had by all 

Today was the Memorial day barbecue. It was held at my mother’s House at 3:00. Your time it was 8:00 am Tuesday morning. (Now it is 10:40 pm Monday night, Tuesday afternoon 1:40 your time). A little barbecue started out with just a few people attending grew to a list of 45 people with about 37 actually attending. The menu was simple hot dogs, hamburgers, deviled eggs, some salad and lots of deserts. I went over to help set up and your Aunt Ruth was already there with her two kids Cory and Ryan. I did little to help. I wanted to do more but I didn’t. One of the perks of being an adult when you don’t want to work and there are others there and you usually help out you can get away without helping.
I forgot to bring over the tank of gas for the grill so I went back and picked up Teri and drove back to the house with the top down on the Mustang. Cory and I grilled the food and it was a slight case of confusion when everyone wanted food and it was not ready. Afterwards everyone sat around and talked and the main subject was your guys. Everyone who didn’t know you or hadn’t seen your pictures wanted to see and I wanted to get the children (Cory, Ryan, Billy, Dennis, Amanda, Thasha ) all involved so that no one would feel threatened by your coming. It was a plan that Teri came up with that we were to get everyone to try and learn Russian. It will be interesting to see if any of these seed come to germination. I first told Thasha and Amanda that they needed to learn Russian and I gave them the phrase ‘Meen yah zavoot(My name is …) by the end of the party everyone had a list of Russian phrases that they were trying to learn to pronounce. It was all very encouraging. Later we went to Ally’s to see Teri’s Aunt Sue and tell her about you guys and Pat his wife kept saying that you were a blessing and everyone agreed that it was a good thing for everyone. We even might of found a camp for you guys to go to this July. There was little information about it but it should have some Russian speaking people there. I hope you both will enjoy it. It’s close to home and easy for pick up and drop off. I’ll know more soon.
June 02, 2008
Went to an information meeting in the City yesterday. It was in Ferman Hall in Greenwich Village. Some how when I heard of this meeting I heard it was a parenting meeting and I assumed that they were going to teach us to raise children. For other people I think it’s a good idea but I was outraged and I kept going around complaining about Big Brother intruding on our lives( Big Brother from the book 1984 written by George Orwell, if you haven’t read it do so it is excellent, well worth the time. It was written in the 1930’s I believe and it was just as relivent when I read it in the 70’s and should still be so today)
Well after all my complains it turns out to be an informational meeting and they had some guest speakers who had already adopted. It was four interesting hours and we met people who were doing what we were doing and there is one local couple from New City who are adopting and we talked with them. During the meeting We were asked to introduce ourselves and say a little about ourselves. I did the introduction and said Hi my name is Joe and this is my wife Teri we live in Rockland and are adopting two girls eight and ten and my big question is when we get them home what do we do with them? It got a laugh. But it was the truth. I have never been a father to this point. Iv’e been an Uncle, a husband, boyfriend and other things but never a father. I don’t even know what you should call me.
After the meeting broke up at about 4:10 Teri wanted to go home she said her stomach was all jumpy. After a little while she changed her mind and we went to Little Italy to Messa Luna a place that has homemade gnocchi in a Gorgonzola sauce they were good (no wonder I have high cholesterol) It was St Anthony’s day so we walked around and we had a good time. The day was warms and sunny it could not of been better. One day I hope the four of us can do that. We got home around eight in the evening a long but good day. At the meeting they were not able to give us a day for your arrival. A couple told about their adventures adopting and the horror story of having to stay a whole month in Birobidjan. I don’t think I would come home to a job if I stayed away that long.
Today we did some paper work. We got two things notarized at seven thirty in the morning at the county clerks office and then I went down to lower Manhattan to get an Aposillite on them and it took all of ten minutes in the state office, the ride was half the day. I love lower Manhattan and I don’t know why. More later…
June 03, 2008
Took time off from work today and Teri worked from home and we met in Hartsdale at the office of our case worker. Her name is Audrey Elliott. A happy and energetic type person and she kept things light and moving. The interview portion of the work lasted about an hour and 45 minutes. We got into our written questionnaires that we submitted in the spring. Mine was four pages long and I felt that I had to cut it off because it was too long. Teri’s was two pages and Audrey had a lot more questions for me then she did for Teri. I was told that mine had a lot of stories in it. I'll try and locate a copy of them and include them in the folder I’m making up about all this.
We picked a family member to take of you if we should both die and I hope you guys never find out who that is because then we might be dead and I would miss out on so much that I am looking forward to.

June 08, 2008
Signed you guy’s up for camp yesterday. We had been looking for the right camp to send the both of you to and we were having no luck. Every camp we looked into had a problem. We tried the YMCA camp which sounded like what it was day care for working parents and we wanted something more then that for you two. We found a camp at Rockland Center for the Arts that was affordable but it was only three days a week. All of these camps had one thing in common each had a pool or swimming at another place. The best camp we hope, and the most affordable one turns out to be the town camp. They have swimming from twelve to three everyday. Games and crafts in the mornings. There are four trips you can go on but we haven’t decided if we are going to let you go. If they are out of state we can’t let you go. We will play it by ear and see how you guys react to all this new stuff. Having never been parents before we feel that using common sense is the best approach on this subject. We will see just how good we can be at parenting for the month. Piece of cake?
June 14, 2008

We had Audry Elliott over earlier in the week . I think it was Thursday and then on Friday she told us we did not pass the home inspection. I called her back to get more specific information about what was wrong. She had a list of three vague items and none of them were what I expected her to have problems with. The first one is the porch, the floor boards are springy and she thought that was not good (Teri had been saying the same thing for years and I kept saying it’s not a priority. And of course I heard about it from her.) The second thing was the hallway she thought she saw some holes in the plaster. She later elaborated that it was also cracks she didn’t like. The final thing was she didn’t like the chipped paint, Can’t blame her on that one really. So today we worked on fixing the three big problems and it’s now 7:44 pm (10:44 am Birobijan time) and I stopped work for the day because of a big thunder and lighting storm. I’ll do some work tomorrow but it’s father’s day and we are going out with Teri’s family to have breakfast.
Hopefully we can get the work on the house finished before Audrey gets back from her vacation and she can reinspect in about a week or ten days. Teri has been upset that we might lose you guys over this. I think if we make a good faith effort to fix things we should be OK at least in the short term.
It’s been a full Month for Teri. In addition to her preparing for your visit she has been offered a promotion at work which will involve travel and more work. It is a big deal and I think she should take it. I think we can weather that and you guys at least in the short term (Month of July). We also got a letter from Patrice Gancie stating your visit to America is tentatively scheduled for July 9. Up dates to follow.

June 16, 2008
Audrey Elliott is coming over again tomorrow to re-examine the house to take a better look at things she should of done the first time. We have taken some preventive measures in hopes of her giving us a break. We have employed a carpenter for the walls of the bathroom and a plumber for the pipes that are leaking. It is an expense that we did not expect and it makes a tight and unsure budget a little tighter. I hope I am not making a big deal of the money issue, it’s just that we didn’t expect the Bridge of hope people to give us two even though we said we would take two and we will gladly do it. It’s just that I have gotten used to having a comfortable life and not having to worry about money, I like it. Now things are going to change and some new and old fears are coming around. The price of gas has gone from 2.65 a year ago to over four dollars and the experts say it ‘s rise is not over yet. Everyone also says its in a bubble and the price just like the prices of houses is going to fall. The price of food is going up there is renewed talk of world food shortages that you haven’t heard about in twenty years. The world seems a scary place and here we are bring two kid over here into a new environment and it is scary. Hopefully Audrey Elliott will not be too tough. She arrives at three PM tomorrow.

June 23, 2008
I find myself in a very uncomfortable position right now. I am mad at everyone and everything. I am so mad that I feel a tightness in my fingers that makes it tough to type. My heart pounds in my chest and there is a large excess of anger running through my veins. And it all relates back to the two of you. That doesn’t mean that I am angry at you or hate you it just means that in the run up to the two of you coming to America I am not handling the pressure very well. And right now it seems that nothing is going right. We employed a friend of Teri’s to put new pipes in for the upstairs bathroom. He said it would take three days and cost 2,800.00 dollars.
An amount that I felt was way out of line and more so when he came in on a Saturday with three guys left during the day, leaving his guys to do the job and came back at the end and was finished in less then a day. $2,800.00 good pay if you can find the work. Oh and the job was first rate which brings me to the next guy, the guy who is doing the walls in the bathroom and is getting 1,000.00 dollars for the job. I come home today to find he has put no insulation in the walls and I must tell him to take down the walls

and to insulate and he is going to tell me it will cost me more and I might just fire him and that would be a big mistake considering that I paid him for the job and we are under a time limit. No word if your arrival date has changed, it’s still on for the ninth of July.

July 1, 2008

Well I was going to write about the weekend where I started to rewire the hall lights, a simple job and like in any house this old it turned into a mega-mess. The bathroom is slowly coming along. The guy we paid to do it said he was finished last Friday and when we went in to paint he had not done the final sanding. The walls were a mess and so I went in and sanded and I did an OK job. Now you are wondering why I didn’t call back the guy to finish. The reason was he would not of come until Monday and we would not have been able to do any painting. Teri and Nancy and Amanda painted the master bedroom and almost finished it, while I worked on the hall
Now the fun news we got today. The Russian government has decertified The Bridge, Cradle of hope and adopting you guys just got a whole lot more difficult. I’ve included the letter in the file, read it it is not good news

. And if your are reading it we must of figured out a way to get the two of you out of Russia.
Your arrival date has been set for the ninth of July arrival at J.F.K. Airport at 6:30, a ride to Yorktown Heights a rest and some snacks. We arrive about eight , some snacks, introductions and home we go getting there about 11:30. With all four of Us full of our dreams for the next twenty-two days. Yes, your month of fun in the sun starts on the ninth of July and is set to end on the second of August. I don’t think I’ll get a chance to get you guys out on the boat, but we’ll see. Do you guys like the water?

July 7,2008
We worked most of the final weekend before your arrival. I put up sheet rock and Teri painted the walls. We ran out of time so we cut a few corners with the idea to revisit the hallway after you leave.

I didn’t finish rewiring the lights for the hallway and the outside light and the outlet in the hall. On the sixth of July we finished up with the small stuff and we went to a barbecue at my mom’s house and relaxed. Your Uncle (can I start calling everyone like that ?) Eric drinks light beer so I had a few to relax. I don’t really like light beer, but it was cold and there. Everyone wanted to talk about you guys but we didn’t have any new information.
Continued in the arrival…..

Where did this all start?

That is a good question. I guess you have to start back about ten years ago. We had been married for almost five years and had been trying to have kids for almost as long. Teri got the idea that we should adpot a child from China. We could get a little baby girl who would never know anyone else as their parents. We started along going to a meeting at St. Anthoneys church in Nanuet of people who have adopted from China and it seemed like a fit. We went forward and were doing the home study when we realized we were living in a one bedroom house and we would have to upgrade the house to proceed with the adoption.
We had plans drawn up to put a second story on the house and add two bathrooms and three bedrooms. The cost of the house was $100,000.00, the improvements were going to run $175,000.00. Total cost and morgage was to be $ 275,000.00. In 1994 we had bought one of the last houses that sold around the $100,000.00 level, but we thought that spending almost $300,000.00 in an area of houses that were typically valued at $200,000.00 was not a very good idea. Looking back through twenty-twenty hind site and seeing the values of houses in the area having topped out at over $600,000.00 and then fall back some these last few years the house we were planning would of been a good value.
We sold the house in Nyack at a little past the top of the market in 2004 and bought a House in Congers that had three bedrooms and one bath and is old (1895) which I love and my wife is getting tired of, its on a big lot for this day and age and is perfect for raising kids. But I was now closing in on fifty and had long ago decided that I would be Uncle Joe for the rest of my life. It was a pretty cool job too. I got to rile the kid up, feed them sugar go crazy with them and then send them home. I got to be that big kid who never grew up.
One day in 2008, my wife says to me "Iv'e been reading about this Bridge of Hope program and you get to host visiting Russian orphans for a month in the summer and then you have the option to adopt them." I didn't want to adopt or host, but I also wanted to give my wife something she wanted and I also thought that I could stop it later or even better she would lose interest.
So I said "If you want to." She took her usual position, the lead and went forward with it, doing all the paperwork finding out where and when we were supposed to meet the local branch.
The local people lived in Yorktown over in Westchester. They had us meet in this very nice house on a Thursday night in February I think. the two women running the meeting were Liz and Terry,both had adopted from Russia and wanted to help others do the same. About Forty people attended the meeting. They gave us the general outline of the requirements for hosting and for later adopting our 'camper'. I still wasn't on board with the program.
We got the paperwork and again Teri took the lead and filled it out got all the information needed and dragged me to where ever it was we needed to go to finish the paperwork before the deadline of sometime in April, it was an amazing feat.
I remember the day I finally came on board. It was a phone call from our social worker. Rene, our first of at least three and the best. She called me because she could not get hold of Teri on any of her lines and the call was important. We had the rare chance to pick between a pair of sisters and a ten year old boy and they wanted to find out which one or ones we wanted.
The reason for the choice was one of the sisters was listed as mentally retared. We had been warned that alot of the physical and mental problems listed on the reports about the orphans was made up to allow foreigner to adopt, Russians are not eager to let nonrussians raise their kids, as a nut case I was to meet later in the summer would say, 'How could you possiblely ever know how to raise a russian child not being a russian.' and this nut case lived in America, god help us all. Rene was giving us a choice, but not really. We got the pluses and minuses of the two children and we were told we had to make a choice. Teri wanted a girl and here we were being presented with a pair. As Rene gave me the information I felt the hand of god on my shoulder for only the second time in my life, not that it hadn't been there before. Suddenly they weren't this abstract concept, they had become flesh and blood people and I suddenly wanted to become a part of this adventure. I got all the information from Rene through a cell phone connection that wanted to break from bad reception. I then called Teri and I would like to say got through to her but I didn't. I had to leave her a message to call me back and when she did I gave her the good news. She was scared about the mental retardation issue because she said she would not be able to deal with it. I kept reminding her that she had wanted girls and here we were being presented with two, take a chance. We could alway back out after the summer camp if we couldn't deal with it if it was too bad. So we went for it.