The Girls
May 25, 2008
Iv’e started this a little late in the process. We have known who you two are for the last two weeks or so. I must admit that I was not anxious to take on the lives of two new humans when Teri first bought up the idea of getting involved with the Bridge of Hope.
We decided that we would not try to have children and that if it happened it happened. That was back about 1996. Coming up on my 50th birthday (2008)I had long ago come to terms with the fact that I was going to be Uncle Joe all my life and that fact was rammed home when my sister’s husband died and she was left with two young children. For the next several months or so I made it my duty to take them out somewhere at least once a week. They were young so we went to a place called ‘Jeepers’ in the Palisades Mall. It had a kids maze and games and if you did it right you could walk in for free and only pay for the games. Needless to say the place did eventually go out of business. But until that time the three of us had fun there. This lasted until I sold my business. I owned a milk delivery company that I had been given by my father to me when he died.
May 25, 2008
Iv’e started this a little late in the process. We have known who you two are for the last two weeks or so. I must admit that I was not anxious to take on the lives of two new humans when Teri first bought up the idea of getting involved with the Bridge of Hope.
We decided that we would not try to have children and that if it happened it happened. That was back about 1996. Coming up on my 50th birthday (2008)I had long ago come to terms with the fact that I was going to be Uncle Joe all my life and that fact was rammed home when my sister’s husband died and she was left with two young children. For the next several months or so I made it my duty to take them out somewhere at least once a week. They were young so we went to a place called ‘Jeepers’ in the Palisades Mall. It had a kids maze and games and if you did it right you could walk in for free and only pay for the games. Needless to say the place did eventually go out of business. But until that time the three of us had fun there. This lasted until I sold my business. I owned a milk delivery company that I had been given by my father to me when he died.
It was during the winter of 2007-08, maybe the early spring of 08 when Teri saw an article on the bridge of hope and the work they did. She came to me and said she wanted to look into it. I said OK because I try to give her everything I can( yes even that puppy you always ask for you and will get eventually) I didn’t really want to become a father. I felt that we both were to busy. We ate dinner many times at 8:30 at night and that was too late for adults much less kids. But I went along with her desire and we went to a meeting in Westchester and were introduced to some people who had adopted before and they told us their stories and I figured that would be the end of it. Teri continued forward wrote to get the paper work and bugged me to fill it out, me dragging my feet all the way.
The magic day for me was I think a Tuesday in the beginning of May end of April 2008. I was working talking to a Dunkin Donuts owner in Stony Point, in a bad cell phone area when I get the call from a 301 number. I figured that since I was in a bad area it was a mistake and it was not for me so, yes I answered it. It was Rene from the Bridge of hope or the parent group calling to tell us we were going to get a child. The phone kept breaking up and I asked her about the child. She said that we had a choice of two girls or a boy. I asked about the girls and why the choice. She said their names were Anastasia and Elaina. And the reason for the choice was one of the girl paper work said she was retarded and if we could not deal with that we could have the boy. There may have been a simple reason for me to receive the call, but the fact was that I had received it and I was the one who was not going at this full speed. Rene said she could not get Teri on either of her phone numbers and she would give me the information. At the sound of your names I got all choked up and again felt the hand of god. I fell in love with you guys and all my doubts were erased, for the time being. I would have doubts and fears and wonder if I did and am doing the right thing for you two and for myself. After the call I called Teri and asked her if she would like two girls to be hers. I got a cautious response from her and we discussed the information we had. It took a few days to decide that we would take the chance and bring the two of you over to America for the month of July and see what happens. Both of us knowing we would likely fall in love with you.
Now it is about a month before you guy get here and I know that you live in Birobidjan, about two hours from China and about 15 hours ahead of us time wise. It is the place Stalin sent all the Jew in the thirties to live. Neither of you were born there. It is cold there in the winter and I don’t want to come and pick the two of you up in January. I was hoping like Chinese food you could be delivered. I doubt it.I sent away for a cd on the Russian language. It sounds like it will be a scary trip, but if you guys can come to America I guess we can return the favor and go pick you up in about six or eight months. I am learning to speak Russian and I’m hogging the tape a little bit. I drive all day and have the ability to listen to it for several hours a day. After the first day of listening to it I was very frustrated. I had the first chapter down and then something happened and I could not remember any of it so I put it down and came back to it the next day and started over. I made slow progress over the next few days and I learned something about myself, that I can apply myself to something hard and I can learn it. My hope is that when you get here I’ll be able to speak with you a little and that when we pick you up early next year I will be a lot better. I know about three dozen words now and at every opportunity I try to use them on Teri. So for now it’s spa-COIN-a NO-chee (good night, there are no Russian characters on this computer.
May 25,2008
Today was the Memorial day barbecue. It was held at my mother’s House at 3:00. Your time it was 8:00 am Tuesday morning. (Now it is 10:40 pm Monday night, Tuesday afternoon 1:40 your time). A little barbecue started out with just a few people attending grew to a list of 45 people with about 37 actually attending. The menu was simple hot dogs, hamburgers, deviled eggs, some salad and lots of deserts. I went over to help set up and your Aunt Ruth was already there with her two kids Cory and Ryan. I did little to help. I wanted to do more but I didn’t. One of the perks of being an adult when you don’t want to work and there are others there and you usually help out you can get away without helping.
I forgot to bring over the tank of gas for the grill so I went back and picked up Teri and drove back to the house with the top down on the Mustang. Cory and I grilled the food and it was a slight case of confusion when everyone wanted food and it was not ready. Afterwards everyone sat around and talked and the main subject was your guys. Everyone who didn’t know you or hadn’t seen your pictures wanted to see and I wanted to get the children (Cory, Ryan, Billy, Dennis, Amanda, Thasha ) all involved so that no one would feel threatened by your coming. It was a plan that Teri came up with that we were to get everyone to try and learn Russian. It will be interesting to see if any of these seed come to germination. I first told Thasha and Amanda that they needed to learn Russian and I gave them the phrase ‘Meen yah zavoot(My name is …) by the end of the party everyone had a list of Russian phrases that they were trying to learn to pronounce. It was all very encouraging. Later we went to Ally’s to see Teri’s Aunt Sue and tell her about you guys and Pat his wife kept saying that you were a blessing and everyone agreed that it was a good thing for everyone. We even might of found a camp for you guys to go to this July. There was little information about it but it should have some Russian speaking people there. I hope you both will enjoy it. It’s close to home and easy for pick up and drop off. I’ll know more soon.
June 02, 2008
Went to an information meeting in the City yesterday. It was in Ferman Hall in Greenwich Village. Some how when I heard of this meeting I heard it was a parenting meeting and I assumed that they were going to teach us to raise children. For other people I think it’s a good idea but I was outraged and I kept going around complaining about Big Brother intruding on our lives( Big Brother from the book 1984 written by George Orwell, if you haven’t read it do so it is excellent, well worth the time. It was written in the 1930’s I believe and it was just as relivent when I read it in the 70’s and should still be so today)
Well after all my complains it turns out to be an informational meeting and they had some guest speakers who had already adopted. It was four interesting hours and we met people who were doing what we were doing and there is one local couple from New City who are adopting and we talked with them. During the meeting We were asked to introduce ourselves and say a little about ourselves. I did the introduction and said Hi my name is Joe and this is my wife Teri we live in Rockland and are adopting two girls eight and ten and my big question is when we get them home what do we do with them? It got a laugh. But it was the truth. I have never been a father to this point. Iv’e been an Uncle, a husband, boyfriend and other things but never a father. I don’t even know what you should call me.
After the meeting broke up at about 4:10 Teri wanted to go home she said her stomach was all jumpy. After a little while she changed her mind and we went to Little Italy to Messa Luna a place that has homemade gnocchi in a Gorgonzola sauce they were good (no wonder I have high cholesterol) It was St Anthony’s day so we walked around and we had a good time. The day was warms and sunny it could not of been better. One day I hope the four of us can do that. We got home around eight in the evening a long but good day. At the meeting they were not able to give us a day for your arrival. A couple told about their adventures adopting and the horror story of having to stay a whole month in Birobidjan. I don’t think I would come home to a job if I stayed away that long.
Today we did some paper work. We got two things notarized at seven thirty in the morning at the county clerks office and then I went down to lower Manhattan to get an Aposillite on them and it took all of ten minutes in the state office, the ride was half the day. I love lower Manhattan and I don’t know why. More later…
June 03, 2008
Took time off from work today and Teri worked from home and we met in Hartsdale at the office of our case worker. Her name is Audrey Elliott. A happy and energetic type person and she kept things light and moving. The interview portion of the work lasted about an hour and 45 minutes. We got into our written questionnaires that we submitted in the spring. Mine was four pages long and I felt that I had to cut it off because it was too long. Teri’s was two pages and Audrey had a lot more questions for me then she did for Teri. I was told that mine had a lot of stories in it. I'll try and locate a copy of them and include them in the folder I’m making up about all this.
We picked a family member to take of you if we should both die and I hope you guys never find out who that is because then we might be dead and I would miss out on so much that I am looking forward to.
The magic day for me was I think a Tuesday in the beginning of May end of April 2008. I was working talking to a Dunkin Donuts owner in Stony Point, in a bad cell phone area when I get the call from a 301 number. I figured that since I was in a bad area it was a mistake and it was not for me so, yes I answered it. It was Rene from the Bridge of hope or the parent group calling to tell us we were going to get a child. The phone kept breaking up and I asked her about the child. She said that we had a choice of two girls or a boy. I asked about the girls and why the choice. She said their names were Anastasia and Elaina. And the reason for the choice was one of the girl paper work said she was retarded and if we could not deal with that we could have the boy. There may have been a simple reason for me to receive the call, but the fact was that I had received it and I was the one who was not going at this full speed. Rene said she could not get Teri on either of her phone numbers and she would give me the information. At the sound of your names I got all choked up and again felt the hand of god. I fell in love with you guys and all my doubts were erased, for the time being. I would have doubts and fears and wonder if I did and am doing the right thing for you two and for myself. After the call I called Teri and asked her if she would like two girls to be hers. I got a cautious response from her and we discussed the information we had. It took a few days to decide that we would take the chance and bring the two of you over to America for the month of July and see what happens. Both of us knowing we would likely fall in love with you.
Now it is about a month before you guy get here and I know that you live in Birobidjan, about two hours from China and about 15 hours ahead of us time wise. It is the place Stalin sent all the Jew in the thirties to live. Neither of you were born there. It is cold there in the winter and I don’t want to come and pick the two of you up in January. I was hoping like Chinese food you could be delivered. I doubt it.I sent away for a cd on the Russian language. It sounds like it will be a scary trip, but if you guys can come to America I guess we can return the favor and go pick you up in about six or eight months. I am learning to speak Russian and I’m hogging the tape a little bit. I drive all day and have the ability to listen to it for several hours a day. After the first day of listening to it I was very frustrated. I had the first chapter down and then something happened and I could not remember any of it so I put it down and came back to it the next day and started over. I made slow progress over the next few days and I learned something about myself, that I can apply myself to something hard and I can learn it. My hope is that when you get here I’ll be able to speak with you a little and that when we pick you up early next year I will be a lot better. I know about three dozen words now and at every opportunity I try to use them on Teri. So for now it’s spa-COIN-a NO-chee (good night, there are no Russian characters on this computer.
May 25,2008
 |
| Much fun was had by all |
I forgot to bring over the tank of gas for the grill so I went back and picked up Teri and drove back to the house with the top down on the Mustang. Cory and I grilled the food and it was a slight case of confusion when everyone wanted food and it was not ready. Afterwards everyone sat around and talked and the main subject was your guys. Everyone who didn’t know you or hadn’t seen your pictures wanted to see and I wanted to get the children (Cory, Ryan, Billy, Dennis, Amanda, Thasha ) all involved so that no one would feel threatened by your coming. It was a plan that Teri came up with that we were to get everyone to try and learn Russian. It will be interesting to see if any of these seed come to germination. I first told Thasha and Amanda that they needed to learn Russian and I gave them the phrase ‘Meen yah zavoot(My name is …) by the end of the party everyone had a list of Russian phrases that they were trying to learn to pronounce. It was all very encouraging. Later we went to Ally’s to see Teri’s Aunt Sue and tell her about you guys and Pat his wife kept saying that you were a blessing and everyone agreed that it was a good thing for everyone. We even might of found a camp for you guys to go to this July. There was little information about it but it should have some Russian speaking people there. I hope you both will enjoy it. It’s close to home and easy for pick up and drop off. I’ll know more soon.
June 02, 2008
Went to an information meeting in the City yesterday. It was in Ferman Hall in Greenwich Village. Some how when I heard of this meeting I heard it was a parenting meeting and I assumed that they were going to teach us to raise children. For other people I think it’s a good idea but I was outraged and I kept going around complaining about Big Brother intruding on our lives( Big Brother from the book 1984 written by George Orwell, if you haven’t read it do so it is excellent, well worth the time. It was written in the 1930’s I believe and it was just as relivent when I read it in the 70’s and should still be so today)
Well after all my complains it turns out to be an informational meeting and they had some guest speakers who had already adopted. It was four interesting hours and we met people who were doing what we were doing and there is one local couple from New City who are adopting and we talked with them. During the meeting We were asked to introduce ourselves and say a little about ourselves. I did the introduction and said Hi my name is Joe and this is my wife Teri we live in Rockland and are adopting two girls eight and ten and my big question is when we get them home what do we do with them? It got a laugh. But it was the truth. I have never been a father to this point. Iv’e been an Uncle, a husband, boyfriend and other things but never a father. I don’t even know what you should call me.
After the meeting broke up at about 4:10 Teri wanted to go home she said her stomach was all jumpy. After a little while she changed her mind and we went to Little Italy to Messa Luna a place that has homemade gnocchi in a Gorgonzola sauce they were good (no wonder I have high cholesterol) It was St Anthony’s day so we walked around and we had a good time. The day was warms and sunny it could not of been better. One day I hope the four of us can do that. We got home around eight in the evening a long but good day. At the meeting they were not able to give us a day for your arrival. A couple told about their adventures adopting and the horror story of having to stay a whole month in Birobidjan. I don’t think I would come home to a job if I stayed away that long.
Today we did some paper work. We got two things notarized at seven thirty in the morning at the county clerks office and then I went down to lower Manhattan to get an Aposillite on them and it took all of ten minutes in the state office, the ride was half the day. I love lower Manhattan and I don’t know why. More later…
June 03, 2008
Took time off from work today and Teri worked from home and we met in Hartsdale at the office of our case worker. Her name is Audrey Elliott. A happy and energetic type person and she kept things light and moving. The interview portion of the work lasted about an hour and 45 minutes. We got into our written questionnaires that we submitted in the spring. Mine was four pages long and I felt that I had to cut it off because it was too long. Teri’s was two pages and Audrey had a lot more questions for me then she did for Teri. I was told that mine had a lot of stories in it. I'll try and locate a copy of them and include them in the folder I’m making up about all this.
We picked a family member to take of you if we should both die and I hope you guys never find out who that is because then we might be dead and I would miss out on so much that I am looking forward to.
June 08, 2008
Signed you guy’s up for camp yesterday. We had been looking for the right camp to send the both of you to and we were having no luck. Every camp we looked into had a problem. We tried the YMCA camp which sounded like what it was day care for working parents and we wanted something more then that for you two. We found a camp at Rockland Center for the Arts that was affordable but it was only three days a week. All of these camps had one thing in common each had a pool or swimming at another place. The best camp we hope, and the most affordable one turns out to be the town camp. They have swimming from twelve to three everyday. Games and crafts in the mornings. There are four trips you can go on but we haven’t decided if we are going to let you go. If they are out of state we can’t let you go. We will play it by ear and see how you guys react to all this new stuff. Having never been parents before we feel that using common sense is the best approach on this subject. We will see just how good we can be at parenting for the month. Piece of cake?
June 14, 2008
Hopefully we can get the work on the house finished before Audrey gets back from her vacation and she can reinspect in about a week or ten days. Teri has been upset that we might lose you guys over this. I think if we make a good faith effort to fix things we should be OK at least in the short term.
It’s been a full Month for Teri. In addition to her preparing for your visit she has been offered a promotion at work which will involve travel and more work. It is a big deal and I think she should take it. I think we can weather that and you guys at least in the short term (Month of July). We also got a letter from Patrice Gancie stating your visit to America is tentatively scheduled for July 9. Up dates to follow.
June 16, 2008
Audrey Elliott is coming over again tomorrow to re-examine the house to take a better look at things she should of done the first time. We have taken some preventive measures in hopes of her giving us a break. We have employed a carpenter for the walls of the bathroom and a plumber for the pipes that are leaking. It is an expense that we did not expect and it makes a tight and unsure budget a little tighter. I hope I am not making a big deal of the money issue, it’s just that we didn’t expect the Bridge of hope people to give us two even though we said we would take two and we will gladly do it. It’s just that I have gotten used to having a comfortable life and not having to worry about money, I like it. Now things are going to change and some new and old fears are coming around. The price of gas has gone from 2.65 a year ago to over four dollars and the experts say it ‘s rise is not over yet. Everyone also says its in a bubble and the price just like the prices of houses is going to fall. The price of food is going up there is renewed talk of world food shortages that you haven’t heard about in twenty years. The world seems a scary place and here we are bring two kid over here into a new environment and it is scary. Hopefully Audrey Elliott will not be too tough. She arrives at three PM tomorrow.
June 23, 2008
I find myself in a very uncomfortable position right now. I am mad at everyone and everything. I am so mad that I feel a tightness in my fingers that makes it tough to type. My heart pounds in my chest and there is a large excess of anger running through my veins. And it all relates back to the two of you. That doesn’t mean that I am angry at you or hate you it just means that in the run up to the two of you coming to America I am not handling the pressure very well. And right now it seems that nothing is going right. We employed a friend of Teri’s to put new pipes in for the upstairs bathroom. He said it would take three days and cost 2,800.00 dollars.An amount that I felt was way out of line and more so when he came in on a Saturday with three guys left during the day, leaving his guys to do the job and came back at the end and was finished in less then a day. $2,800.00 good pay if you can find the work. Oh and the job was first rate which brings me to the next guy, the guy who is doing the walls in the bathroom and is getting 1,000.00 dollars for the job. I come home today to find he has put no insulation in the walls and I must tell him to take down the walls
July 1, 2008
Now the fun news we got today. The Russian government has decertified The Bridge, Cradle of hope and adopting you guys just got a whole lot more difficult. I’ve included the letter in the file, read it it is not good news
Your arrival date has been set for the ninth of July arrival at J.F.K. Airport at 6:30, a ride to Yorktown Heights a rest and some snacks. We arrive about eight , some snacks, introductions and home we go getting there about 11:30. With all four of Us full of our dreams for the next twenty-two days. Yes, your month of fun in the sun starts on the ninth of July and is set to end on the second of August. I don’t think I’ll get a chance to get you guys out on the boat, but we’ll see. Do you guys like the water?
July 7,2008
We worked most of the final weekend before your arrival. I put up sheet rock and Teri painted the walls. We ran out of time so we cut a few corners with the idea to revisit the hallway after you leave.
Continued in the arrival…..
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