Summertime and the living is easy...but

This day could be looked back on as the beginning of the end or the reverse the end of the beginning. Teri and I recieved an e-mail from Patrice about a conference call. We said we would be able to around two in the afternoon.
   We talked for about a half an hour with Patrice and Linda. We discussed options and we tried to figure out what is going on inside the mind of a teenager. Which is like trying to find a polar bear in a snow storm. We decided it was letting him call the shots if he did not finish camp and if we had Alexi, Liz's son hang around with him at camp.
   We decided that Patrice would sit down with Leo..d* with us not around and try to find out what he knows about his possible future in America and if he wants to come and is he willing to make the effort and if not would he let A..ya* be adopted without him.

   It seemed like a waste of time after the late afternoon and evening we just had. A...da* invited her friends over De...a*, Se..na* and Bra...n*. Bra...n* and Leo..d* seemed to get along and everyone got in the pool and when I came back with the girls there were seven people in the pool. They had chicken fights and splashed around then they all got on the trampoline and had an other good time. Just by chance I had cooked extra food for later in the week, so when A...da* came in and asked if they could eat over it was an easy yes. The Kitchen was crowded and the tables outside were full with people and as the title says It's summertime and the living is easy...
    Ned Stark in 'Game of Thrones' would say "but Winter is coming". Good book try it.
*for my ever lovin wife T..i

The last ten days

After my long rambling blog of this morning Teri and I ate a quiet breakfast around noon. At one PM we hadn't seen Leo..d yet so I knocked on his door and went in. He was watching movies on the computer. I didn't say anything, I let it go and went out to do yard work. It was hot in the low 90's and everyone should of been in the pool. It was empty until Teri and Nancy came back from the store and got in. When I got in there was a total of eight people in the pool. If we go ahead with the adoption we need a bigger pool.
   Everyone horsed around in the pool. I tried to keep it calm, but the girls wanted to rough house and then the fifteen year old in me came out and there was pandemonium. I was troubled that Leo..d and A..ya played together and the girls played with me including A..ya, but Leo..d never joined in. It is tough to join the two groups. I really went into this with rose tinted glasses. I'm sorry and I don't know who to apologize to. Is it Leo..d and A..ya for not being prepared to handle this or to the girls and Teri who might get hurt by this or to myself who will alway wonder if he did the right thing and who did not think it through. Again God help us all.

I didn't sign up for this

I don't know if it was a mistake, or if we shouldn't of done it at all, but we sat down with Leo..d and A..ya and someone who spoke Russian and had a long talk. We asked them if they were enjoying themselves and if there was any food that they would like us to cook. And a few other questions. They answered that they we're having fun and they would like to have some borst. We then asked them if there was anything they would like to do while here. A..ya smiled and said Mickey Mouse ,Leo..d snarled and she no longer wanted to go there.
   We also asked if they would like to come back and live here. I think A..ya would of said yes, Leo..d said he hasn't made up his mind and I'm concerned. He said they have family back in Russia. We asked Leo..d if he loved soccer because that was the reason we put him in soccer camp. He said he liked it and camp was too long. It makes me think He did not write that letter, Someone, like an official in one of the orphanages thought they were doing a good deed. It did get them over here, but it may have back fired and set in motion something that began on a lie and was taken to the next step with a good deed on our part and we put him in soccer camp where he is not happy, but will go. Does all this ruin the two of them staying in America or is this not a good fit or do we have to work harder?    I  don't like the way Leo..d controls A..ya. I think it is cute the way she takes care of him, but I don't see it in reverse. He is a taker, a sullen teenager. She has given him her camp bag and taken an older one, told everyone to be quiet when she thought he was a sleep, she came into the car and all happy, when she realized he was not, she got quiet, in general she has taken care of him. It reminds me of an abusive relationship, a bad marriage, what their family life might of been like, I'm worried. I'm worried about both of them and what he might do to the quality of life our other two daughters have now. He has already told them to shut up when he was unhappy over camp. If we continue with this and I'm having trouble imagining us doing it and not doing it. Can you just toss to souls to the curb like that when you see what might be, good and bad or do you fight and make it work. One of my favorite lines attributed to Mother Teresa. She said "God doesn't give you more then you can handle, I just wish he didn't think I could handle so much." or something like that. I see a lot of therapy in the future for them and they won't get it in Russia.
   If we go through with this and it goes wrong and I see a lot of ways it can. The one that comes up the most is an angry young man, who has trouble speaking English or has given up, turns to drinking, get violent and makes five people fearful. I have seen nothing in him to believe he has the ability to work hard and come out the other end a happy young man. I'm afraid he will connect up with the wrong people and in his angry and frustation get violent and I don't know. My wife says I can find a dark lining on a silver cloud and I can.
    Maybe they are the next reason God has chosen this path for my life, a life I didn't ask for or ever imagine. Maybe Leo..d is my project. I like my life now. The two girls are fun and it is busy.
   Adopting kids is like sex as a teenager. It's really exciting and fun in the beginning, but when it's over are you ready to take on the responsibility of more souls? I don't know, I just don't know. There is no way to answer that question. On top of it these souls are damaged. Damaged different then Nastia and Elena were and still are or we are. Is there enough fight left in the two of us to do this or have we taken on more then we can handle? It won't be easy. I had wanted to tell Leo..d that it would be a hard road if he was going to come here and he would get frustrated, but he would just have to double down and he would come out the other side one day a better person for it. I have always been proud of the fact that our children have been pretty close to normal, but with a Russian accent.
   I don't know how to end this. I guess I'll just stop writing... God help us.

The Week in review

Today Teri picked up Leo..d. She was with Nancy and they had not eaten, so the three of them went to Charlie Browns to have a late lunch. Feeding Leo..d and time seem to be working with him. He is more relaxed and smiles more. the other day my mother said Hi to him and he smiled at her. today he burned his hand on a pot and Teri was mothering him, when she threw a cold pad t him he smiled about it. I'm sure he still doesn't like his camp, but there is little we seem to be able to do. There is so little time and everything takes a special request to the local government and I'm sure him using the town pool will be approved' there is just no time. It is ending so very soon, too soon.
   Financially, everything is still in the air.
   Al three girls seem to be getting along except for that one incident at the barbecue the other day. Everyday a handful of people say good bye to the girls, even A...a a few people say good bye to.
   They are upstairs watching TV and Teri is taking Nancy home, it is quiet except for the music Leo..d plays that seeps through the vent in his floor.It could work, if they want to stay, if the three girls can make it work in that tight space, if Leo..d doesn't start to resent Amanda walking through his room every five minutes. If the girls don't resent the two new ones, if the new ones don't resent the original ones If all the girls don't get their period at the same time. I guess you understand it could work, maybe.
   I never did go into detail about what happened the first day with Leo..d. Teri took him to camp at Paramas catholic high on Paramas rd, Paramas, they were early, Teri calls me concerned they were at the wrong school, they were just early. Teri calls and I have to confirm the location to be correct. That was tough considering I lost all of his paperwork, everything. Maybe he was bothered by the concern in Teri's voice, he didn't want to stand and I had to pick him up at Teri's job and I got stuck in traffic and didn't get there until about ten. I get him to camp and we walk around and he doesn't want to go but I insist and we find the guy who runs the camp who just happens to have a coach who speaks Russian. I think problem solved. Leo..d needs sneakers and I go get him a pair, I drop them off while he is in a movie.At the end of the day I pick him up and find out he doesn't like the camp because no one is trying to make friends with him and he has no one to talk to and the coach who speaks Russian is not around much. It seems he is throwing up any excuse to not go to camp. I was hurt. I felt he didn't appreciate all our hard work. Fair or not we thought we were giving him a huge gift, allowing him to spend two weeks practicing his passion, but no he looks like he is using every excuse not to go to the camp. We try to get him in other camps, but the lateness, his age and our lack of money prevent any change. It hurt worse because the previous day we let him pick out whatever soccer gear he liked and hasn't really used yet I think. I hate to always go back to money, but if we adopt and at that time it was doubtful, now not so doubtful, I'm more optimistic it will happen. We had spent over three hundred dollars on equipment.
   With a little advice from Patrice, we decide to tell Leo..d that he has to go to the camp, there is no other options, he didn't like that. Being the stoic Russian as I said before he did what was asked of him.
  Yesterday after camp Leo..d went to the West Nyack Swim Club where he spent time with males and did backflips off the high diving board. He ate pizza with my brother, his two sons, his wife and my mom. It was good for him.
   A...a, no drama.

From one disaster to another...

   Last night Nastia was told to comb her hair before she went to bed. I went up to kiss them good night and I notice she had not combed her hair. Disregarding a direct request like that I have found out over the last few years drives me crazy. I tell Nastia to get out of bed and come down stairs. I was so mad, too mad so I let teri talk to her. She stands there brushing her hair while we talk to her about responsibility. Teri tells me after she leaves to give the money for the trip to a councilor so it doesn't get lost.
   The girls went to six flags in Jackson NJ today. We had to get them there before 7:45 to catch their buses. Leo...d goes to soccer camp like usual. He still doesn't like it but like the Russian he is he will put up with it. Girls are to be picked up at 8pm.
   I pick Leo..d up at three pm and ask him if he is hungry he says yes and it has become the ritual to get him something to eat now everyday after camp. Feed teenagers and they may like you. We stop off at the rest stop on the Garden State which has Nathans, Burger King, Sabaro and Dunkin. I point and say hot dog, pizza Hamburger. He surprises me when he says Hot Dog and Pizza. Which is what he got. He eats it and I take him to Lynn and Erics so they can take him to the West Nyack Swim Club. A Russian speaking kid Max might come. He doesn't, but Leo..d and Billy and Dennis and Lynn all have a good time. They then take him to a dinner of Pizza. He then spends time at their house playing video games and I pick him up at 9:45pm.
   Now the girls, I am so very unhappy with them. After last night and the hair I feel I want to try and get Nastia to become a little more responsible. So I give her twenty dollars and Elena twenty dollar against my wifes wishes. I figure both won't lose the money.
   When I go to pick them up I find out someone spent fifteen dollars on a drink and the other pissed away her twenty on something else, An..a got nothing. A Camp councilor had to buy her some food, as well as buy some for Elena. I had trouble understanding it when they told me. I kept asking why didn't she get food? Where did the money go? I'm still having trouble understanding how these two very thoughtful girls could of left no money for her? Nastia is the same person who asked us for a few rubles to give a homeless women in Moscow a few years ago. I am completely at a loss.

All little problems...it's all good

All right. I was nasty the other day. I was unfair and the jokes were not funny and  they were also nasty. It's just tough when you put all your energy and good intensions into something and it just doesn't come out the way you thought it would. I was hurt and felt Le...d didn't appericate our efforts. He is a stranger in a strange land. It maybe paradise, but it is still strange and scary.

   I got up early to do deliveries and when I got home everyone was up and we had breakfast. We found out Le,,,d and his sister don't like bacon the way Nastia and Elena do. The latter two had BLT's and the former had eggs over easy.
   Teri and Nancy then went to the store, I read a book, took a nap and the kids swam, had a nerf gun fight and watched TV. We are letting a lot of rules get broken. We were told don't sweat the little stuff.
   We then went to a barbeque at my mothers and it was real hot and all the kids went swimming and Billy has a friend who speaks russian who we are trying to get Leo..d together with. Sasha won't work out he is away for a while. He was the boy at the party on the 29th who befriended Leo..d. We will see what will happen. A...a has enjoyed herself the whole trip. She was made to cry by Elena what happened has to do with someone pushing the other off the float and the other getting upset and someone hit the other, is that clear?

   Went to the Nyack fireworks. Leo..d seemed more relaxed and had a good time. Both new kids have long legs it turns out and I had to stop them before the three of us lost the others. It's nice to have someone I can walk with. Fireworks were crowded and it was hot we all started to get a little cranky.
   At the end of the fireworks the sky was flashing with lightening, we didn't get anything it looked like we would.
   The world looks a little better at this end of the week, then it did at the other end. I hope it gets better everyday. It could,,, really,... it could.

Government publications

I recieved my government publication from cooperative extension today entitled 'Your teenager and the world around them' published 1972. You can get your free copy too, if its worth the stamp. On page one it says 'Do not expect your teenager to be greatful if you give them exactly what they want.'
   I'm really pissed. I am trying so hard with our new teenager and I am making no progress. I know there is a lot of baggage here and teenagers are not the same as a humans, but it doesn't seem fair. I have done everything in my power to make Leonid happy, to make an enchanted two weeks and all Iv'e suceeded  in doing is to split him from his sister for eight plus hours a day for the next two weeks. He smiles at my wife easily. she didn't force him to go back to soccer camp then leave him there to get him sneaker, which I took the time to pick out special. but then I leave the sneakers there while he is watching a movie.
   Anya and the girls are doing find she was happy until she got into the car and she got quieter when she found out Leonid was not happy. There is a cute side to the relationship. We went to see the fireworks last night he stayed home. When we got home and she thought he was asleep she made the girls go up the stairs quietly.
  Felex Festa camp is full so he can't go there. I think that is the only reason he is not happy at the soccer camp. I got one slim option and that is to get a pool pass and let him go after camp for an hour with his sister. I'll check it out tomorrow.

The calm after the storm

I got back from dropping the Russian Ladies and Scott off after 5PM. I wasn't hungry and I didn't know what to do with myself. I remembered that when the Russian ladies looked at the pool it needed to be cleaned so that was what I did. After a while Nastia comes out and askes me to put some air in the soccor ball we gave to Leonid. I put air in it and we both go upstairs to get him to play with us. He is his usual so far stoic self and doesn't want to come out and kick the ball around. we watch him play on a russian web site on the computer, I put a hand to his shoulder rub it and we leave. He comes out and joins us. I was shocked. He has tried to make himself as invisable as possible and for some reason he decided to come out and kick the ball around with us.
   We start by just kicking it to each other, which evolves into a game of keep away, which becomes a game of someone defending the goal with a defender against two people trying to score. We are out there for half an hour or so. We are all hot and sweating so the kids head over to the pool and I get my camera out and Teri and I sit and watch them swim and do dangerous things on the trampoline. We go inside and have a snack around eight o'clock. Around quarter to nine we head down to the ice cream palor to have ice cream. All the success we had getting Leonid to be part of our family seemed to all fall apart once we got to the ice cream palor. There was a carnival going on across the street and it was crowded. When it came time to order He didn't want ice cream and he wanted to go back home. He said he wasn't sick, he just wanted to go home. I said five minutes. When we left he was in the lead and got further and further away from us as we went towards home. I still don't know what was wrong.
   Today after my long quiet morning I made breakfast. And if I didn't learn the first time I surely won't learn the second time. I made Russian breakfast items. I made lazy Varenyky, a cheese and flour concocion that you boil for a few minutes. Anya seemed to recognize it because she took a large spoonful of it tasted it then didn't touch it. Nastia of all people, who doesn't like cheese liked it. She didn't know there was cheese in it.
   The other item I made was Russian Kefir pancakes or Oladi. Some had apples in them. They were not as bad as the Lazy Varenyky. Teri insisted I make sausages, which turned out to be the big hit of breakfast.
   We then went to buy clothing for the kids. We went through the gift card Teri's friends gave her. They are always there for her and are always first in line, god bless them. Anybody got $70,000.00 to help with an adoption? We were out most of the day and got all caught in a thunder storm up at the Spring Valley Market place. We ate a late lunch at IHOP and somewhere along the way I lost all of Leonid's paperwork. Teri told me not to take it so she got to say I told you so and it made her day.
   We got back about six and all the kids went swimming and at nine we will go see the fireworks but we will miss the carnival because of time and money. Remember to sent your donations to the bridge of hope

A quiet morning to reflect on yesterday

Everyone is in bed still and I'm here quietly thinking about yesterday. It was a long hot day and if I could show you pictures of all the events and highlights of yesterday it would take hours.
   The day started at Ten AM when I picked up Scott at Tolstoy Nursing Home in Valley Cottage. I barely knew Scott and He just like me must of been wondering what we would talk about on the hour trip to Danbury. We ended up talking about our shared love of history. What made it easier was Scotts ability to tell a good story and him having a very interesting story about Tolstoy, his twelve kids, V.G. Chertkov and the founding of the Tolstoy foundation. It is a long and very interesting story. Too long to tell now The abridged version Tolstoy had twelve kids, his youngest born in the 1880's when Tolstoy was about 60 or so established the Tolstoy foundation in 1939 and around 1972 the Tolstoy nursing home is built and filled with people who were around during the Russian revolution. Scott worked in the nursing home and residents would tell him stories. A women who would die at the age of 101remembered being at the Smolinsk school when the Czar visited and she remembers the aplause was so loud that plates on a table were shaking. Things like this is what make history special for me.
   The real interesting part is when relatives of V.G. Chertkov, who was friends with Tolstoy during the last twenty-seven years of his life start to investigate his life they come across all the things he did, like building the first library in Moscow. And how when a group of his desidents go to a town named after him and the whole town shows up to greet them.
   Scott and I arrive at the hotel early and expect to have to wait. We are at the desk waiting to have the Russian women told we are here when one of the Irenes walks in and she goes and gets the other who were ready and waiting for us even though we were half an hour early.
   The trip from Danbury is either in Russian or no talking. At one point Scott asks me if I have any questions for the ladies, but I don't. My mind has been filled with other thing and the thought of questions never surfaced. The ladies ask about the girls school and everyones camp. They are told all three girls will go to camp at the school Nastia and Elena will attend in the fall, They would like to see the school. We make a little side trip first to Germonds pool where the three girls will get to swim for three hours. The ladies walk around and take some picture of each other with the the pools in the backround.
   Valentina, the oldest of the group aske me why they only get to swim for three hours. It was a good question. I had not real answer, so I told her they play games and have lunch at the school until they go to the pool. It is the truth, knowing the kids I think they would rather go swimming all day long.
   We stop at the school and the doors were open so we go inside and a janitor is inside and I explain to him that we are hosting two kids from Russia and theses are their escorts and they would like to see the school and he lets us. We look in the Gym then find an open class room, which was the class room Nastia happened to take Art in.
   We get to the house a little after one PM it is hot and everyone goes inside and sits in the living room. This is where it gets interesting. Nastia comes in for a moment, then leaves. The other two come in and leave. Elena stays upstair watching TV. Valentina in the rocker, Scott and one Irena on the couch near the window. The other Irena in a little antique folding chair near the couch and Natsha in the arm chair across the room. Me, I'm standing infront of the TV too uptight to sit, fielding questions from the ladies afraid to leave them alone to help Teri with the food.
   They ask questions and the one question like the one in Berobidzhan from the Russian judge who asked why are you adopting in Russia and not America is asked. Well this was less a question and more of a statement. Scott listens, hesitates, then reminds me he is just translating and doesn't want to insult me. I tell him he can't, all questions are fair game unless they are nasty. So he says Valentina says in Russia the kids are expected to come and sit with company for at least a little while when they first are here. Are you raising princeses? Looking back it was a fair question. Everyone should of come down to say hello to the guests and they didn't. There was lots of confusion and I don't do well in situtions where I feel people are judging me. Teri was busy with the food and I was busy with the guests. The girls are forced to come down. Elena is the most reluctent to show up. I don't remember if it was her or Nastia who slides in behind Natasha and the back of the chair and hangs her feet off the side. I try to get her to sit up and I'm answering less taxing questions when Teri saves me and tells me to cook the hot dogs and brown the chicken on the grill. Of course the chicken, having been in the crock pot is cooked and falling off the bone so browning it with barbeque sauce is not easy. When it starts to stick and fall apart I take it off the grill and put the pieces with the best side up. I fill up the rest of the platter with hot dogs and bring it inside. For some reason we had trouble sitting down to eat everyone was hungry and even though it was said by different people lets eat it didn't happen, which was fie except it was getting late and they had dinner plans in CT.
   We eat outside, where the temp had seemed to dip a little into the bearable range. We eat under umbrellas near the pool and about 3PM are ready to leave.
   We all pile into Teri's new Toyota Highlander and except for stoping for a bottle of wine and forgetting a bag at te house, we go back for it was an uneventful trip. Oh, yeah, I forgot I was tired on the trip back to Danbury, nothing happened Teri to your car. I did drive on a few rumble strips and a couple of white lines, but I stopped for a cold soda and was fine on the trip home and didn't kill anybody.
  One of the funnier moments was everytime we got out of the car, Valentina, who was sitting in the second seat would get out and close the door walking away leaving Natasha and one of the Irenes in the third seat and everytime she would close the door before I could get there. So I would up the door and help the two out of the far back seat.
   There is still a lot that happened with just the kids so I'll put it in a seperate posting.
   I was so involved with what was happening I didn't take pictures until the kids went swimming later. That is the next blog entry.

This is our little secret

You can't tell anyone what I'm going to tell you. It'll be our little secret, or what passes for one when you post on the internet. It's just too much too really think about all the little rules and all, but if you want to be in the game, you got to play by their rules. It is after all their ball and they will take it back to... with them no matter who suffers.

    After I quit working for Marcus I thought it would be a long time before I went to Ct. much less Danbury, so it was with an ironic feeling that I took my first two and went to a Bridge of Hope gathering up on Federal lane in Danbury yesterday. All day long I felt like I was just a car length away for him, my former boss Tom. He cast that long of a shadow over me while I was there.
   The girls and I arrived at the Quality Inn down from the Ford dealership where Marcus got me my company car five years ago about nine-thirty in the morning and I felt a little silly when I went to the desk and asked for the Russians. The person behnd the desk knew exactly who I wanted and told me to go throught two sets of doors and go outside at the doors near the pool.
   Through the doors there were maybe forty or so people. Kids playing and Adults talking in little groups. A group of boys were out on the lawn kicking around a soccer ball. One skinny kid with brown hair and no shirt would be one of the two kids I came to see. The other, slightly shorter very thin with long dark hair and very quiet reminded me of Elena. Like Elena a bathing suit would just hang off her this first year.
   The first person we meet, Patrice has a cane and later she explains how she is trying to avoid knee surgery. There are many familar faces among the group, Terry and Liz who both always seem to be there at all the important functions and always give so much.

   We first are introducted to the girl, a very sweet faced girl who you just want to wrap up in your arms and hug here like you hug your first two, but I fear she would break she is so thin. Her brother is waved to come from the field and he comes up a bit reluctantly it seems. Mustering all his sixteen year he looks me in the eye and gives me a firm hand shake and impresses me all over again. His letter being the first time. You can't help but love him. We all stand around ackward in the silence for a little while before people being to wander off. I find Nastia a little while later making a connection over jump rope with Annya.

  A little after ten we form a convoy and head over to Chuckie Cheese for some fun. I remember the places from years ago for little kids. It was fun for all ages. Everyone, all the kids got a handful of tokens and went out into the game room to explore. I bought fifteen dollars more of tokens and walked around giving them to the four kids as it seemed necessary. The first time I tried to give some to Leonid he waved his hand no, not to give him any. He was trying not to accept anything from anyone. I think to avoid being a burden. I just dump a few coins in his cup , smile and walk away. The next time he doesn't protest. I split up the coins between the four and some are wasted on games that require a pull of a lever to dispense tickets, games that make me crazy when they are played because it makes the coins disappear too quickly with very little fun.

much fun was had by most

  Everyone ate a  little pizza and about one PM we took a half hour ride to Monroe CT. On the way there Nastia and Elena talk to one of the translators, Angela Cesarz about what an english word is in russian both girls were able to remember more then I expected. About twenty mile north of Danbury we arrive at the home of two more very giving and nice people Charles and Kathleen Hickey. They opened their house to a bunch of strangers and a large group of kids where anything could happen, thank you.

   There is a large pool a very nice home and plenty of food and drink. It's warm and sunny a great day for swimming. Teri shows up a little after two in the afternoon and we hang around until about six-seven in the evening when we help bring the kids back to the hotel. It is the first time the girls and I get to spend time with the kids and of course the girls are asking silly questions using pigeon russian to ask. I finally have to tell them to stop. We drop them off at the hotel and get home a little after nine and remember there is more for us to do for the next day when we pick them up to bring them home. Sometime after midnight Teri gets to bed.

I just wish he wouldn't trust me with so much

Sometimes I feel like I'm on top of my game and have everything under control. Then I wake up and realize just what I haven't done.
   I was crusin along at my job and the girls are at camp and the twenty-ninth is still a few days away, then it's like I get slapped in  the face with all these things that now suddenly crowd my calender.
   The bunkbeds are up. The office is set up with the bed in it, we even took in a Tuesday evening discount movie tonight.

Waiting to be called

   I had called HSBC to get two months of checking account records for the house refinance even. Then smack, Elena lost three teeth and we feel she should see a dentist just to make sure it's OK. Nastia is complaining about pain in the gums on her right side, During the switch over to First Niagara EZ pass didn't get switched and I didn't know and we are getting letters with fifty dollar fines and I have to call them. My old boss has found out where I now work and he is going to declare war, I expected it, but couldn't it happen some other week then this week when we are expecting our guests! The checking account has been battered lately and it didn't need the switch over from HSBC and the fines that are coming from EZ pass and even my little brokerage account (far littler lately) hit me with a fee for no money being in an account to transfer to the brokerage account. I couldn't find where to stop the transfer so I figured no problem, well problem, $25.00 problem.
   It's the begining of the end of the Muller family of four the end of this week. We'll be a family of six starting friday mornining at eight-thirty for the next two and a half weeks. If everything goes well and I can't imagine differently, we will start the paperwork in ernest by the end of the month to go to Russia . Right now as I said earlier, we were trying to bask in the calm glow of between insanities.
   We went to see Brave tonight, and it was typical Pixar. A well done film that touched your heart. There was one part where the father was waving good bye to several ships and he sees his sons have gotten on one ship, so the father gets in a small row boat with his two dogs and begins to row out after them while the two dogs are barking and enjoying themselves. I got a warm feeling and for some reason I knew the father wasn't mad at them, just a little frustrated and he wouldn't trade his one legged life for anything. I can relate.
  It's the second day of camp and the girls ( two, soon to be three) got to go swimming at Germonds pool. It was the first time I'd ever been there even though back in the early seventies I did get a pass to go to the pool. I could just never get my friend to go with me, so I never went.
   It's a nice place. It's got three pools , three diving boards and some grassey area to take in the sun.

Elena graduates from 5th grade in Congers

   We finally got our translator for Saturday when we host the chapperones. His name is Scott and anyone with a sharp memory will remember the name. He was the person who introduced us to Mosha, yes that Mosha. The Mosha of 'You child is severly depressed and you must bring her to church tomorrow so I can talk to her and see her' Now the answer to your question is, yes I might be a little crazy but it has nothing to do with Scott. He is offering his services on a day off of his and I can't thank him enough. He said He has not talked to Mosha in over a year. And again he is using a saturday to spend with people he barely knows and he is doing us a favor and I still can't thank him enough. He is Anna's god son. Anna from Tolstoy Nursing home,whom I trust completely. She is just one of those people.

Little Girls

Yesterday Elena graduated for Elementary school. It has been a very quick three years. We showed up at the door step of Conger's Elementary school with two non-english speaking little girls and three years later we have these two wonderful, amazing young ladies. I use the term ladies very broadly. You know cause they are female and they are reminded daily to use their manners and...
   Really, they are amazing girls. I could not be more pleased with them.
   Elena's graduation from Conger's was to happen at three in the afternoon. The temperature was to hit the low nineties for the third day in a row, so the ceremony was moved to South High School's auditorium. It was such a contrast to last years with Nastia. Last year I was stressed and I didn't tell my boss I was going to it, because it would of caused more trouble for me then it was worth.

And my boss called in the middle of the ceremony. This year we were in the South school's auditorium, it was nice and cool. I was not pleased at the shape of some of the seats in the auditorium. Some were broken and leaned while others were completely missing.
   The show started with the principle, Mrs Ryan making an opening statement, and I'm sorry after that I relaxed and  woke up only just before they introduced the students to walk across the stage to receive their certificate.
   When I was in school, stop it was not that long ago. And yes the dinosaurs were all dead. When I was in school, there was nothing for going from elementary school to junior high, you got a dance.

  When I was in fifth grade in 1968, they moved the sixth grade to the junior high. The next year they moved the sixth grade back to the elementary schools saying sixth graders were not ready for junior high. I got to be the oldest grade in school for two straight years. Back then they had something in elementary school called safeties. These were kids who were given badges and told the kids to stay against the wall when they went in a certain direction when we were dismissed at the end of the day. They don't have them any more. I loved being a safety.
   After the ceremony, we went to dinner at Charlie Brown's

Fingerprints, 9-11 and the government

We are getting closer to the twenty-ninth and we are still trying to get the paper work together. We are experiencing the fingerprint and background check portion of our Magical Mystery Tour. It was a whole hell of a lot of fun getting our fingerprints last time and this one has got me doubled over I'm enjoying it so much.
   Last time we went to the Police dept and got our finger prints. It was on their paper and if I remember we had to do it over on a different paper. Now we have a new system and it is electronic finger printing. Sounds more expensive as well as more fun. The fun I am having is in the paper work, where else? I go to the website and it explains that we fill out the paperwork on line then make an appointment on line or by telephone then you go to your local Chico's Bail bonds (Bad News Bears reference) and get your finger prints taken. If your have filled out the wrong paperwork, you will not get your money back. No problem, except you can only fill out paperwork for an Alarm installer. Yea, maybe a good career when I retire, oops, I forgot I'm getting two more kids I'm not retiring, I'm getting planted when I die on the job. Anyway, I'm fighting with the paperwork and my wife is at her job long hours (Is she hiding from the paperwork? She did it last time, the paperwork, not hide.) and has no time to do it. So I fight the lonely battle and the clock continues to tick...
   It was fathers day today also and the girls and my wife took me out to Dave and Busters after we got the office cleaned for the bed to go in it for the twenty-ninth. Had fun, everyone was on everyone elses nerves all day long, we needed to get out.

Seems like wev'e been this way before

I took off June 28th and 29th. I'm heading up to Danbury Ct. to help ferry the new kids and their chaperone's around. It sounds like a lot of fun, sort of. They will be going to Chuckie cheese for a few hours then to a women's house to swim and have a barbecue. They all should enjoy the swim and the food, I don't know how much the sixteen year old will enjoy Chuckie cheese. It's been quiet a few years since I was there and it was only once I think. So I don't really remember much about it.

On an off note Cory my nephew flew off to Europe today and I can't believe the man he has become. His Dad would be busting his buttons over his two sons God bless them both.

one lump or two*

    Now a little perspective on my youngest. Even after she gains two siblings she will still be the youngest, but only by seven months. She is quite the interesting character. She is funny, shy, an uninhibited young lady at times (she has flashed me more then once to try to embarrass me.) She has a temper and a mouth that get her into trouble. She is stubborn and willful. Yet she is a push over and very sweet. She is lazy and has no self confidence. Yet what kid at that age ever did. She loves to sing and has written a few songs that are full of heart and beautiful. And she can lie with the best of them when it is in her best interests or when she is caught doing something she shouldn't be doing. She is totally dedicated to her sister and we were afraid she would get lost in the shadows.
* warner bros. bugs bunny cartoon- can you guess the charactor?

The things we do for Wa?

Yea, that and all good deeds require retribution. God's just up there laughing his a.. off at some of us.
   At our meeting in the Village last week, which is good for three child credits toward your ten you must have to show you are a good parent and still think you know all the answers. Just wait for your first refuge to come along. Any way at the meeting Patrice told a story about how she went through all the trouble to make a special Russian dinner for her Russian kids and they preferred hot dogs. This is a perfect example of leaving well enough alone. It was like the time my father told me not to ever sit on the bumper of his truck when he is at a stop. What was the first thing I did when I saw him delivering milk, yes I sat on the bumper of his truck and he was right it was a bad idea, It hurt when he drove off and I fell. Good thing he didn't back up. Here is an other example of if nothing was said I would not of done it .
   I got it in my head to make some simple Russian dishes and decided to make a version of stuffed cabbage and a meat pelmani. I'm not good with dough so I made the Pelmani first and once I got the hang of it, it went quickly. I even floured the finished product before I stacked it up about six high. Is anyone seeing where this is going? I made about forty or so and was very proud of myself.
   Then I went to put them in the boiling water...
   I got about almost half way through them before I realized the Pelmani had become a living breathing mass that refused to come apart.  After the initial twenty-two went in and were floating Teri and I decided the remaining would not separate so they went in all together. Every so often one would get free and float to the surface like a dead body in a horror film. Their pink flesh showing through their torn and ragged skin. Their flesh boiled and toughened. Live and learn. The first twenty-two were OK and I had fun making them and will do it again. The stuffed cabbage remained in the refrigerator for another day.

  Friday was field day for Elena. Nastia kept asking why she could not do it and we kept reminding her she did it last year and the only reason she can't go this year, her sister was there too last year, is she doesn't go to that school any more.

   Teri and I set up chairs and I took some picture and it was a nice day and we got to talk for the first time in a long while.
   Teri and I went out to dinner last night and Teri's dinner didn't sit too well with her so she concentrated on her half pitcher of sangria, which in retrospect was a bad idea to tell her to get. She didn't eat and finished the half pitcher. She said she'd never been that drunk before. I've been with her twenty years and in twenty years that's the truth. She was real relaxed and we called the house to tell them we are on our way home. Elena picks up Nancy's phone and I can't resist playing Chinese food on her.

   It's real simple, in a Chinese voice I tell her to order Chinese food and asked her what she wants. She gets flustered and says we got Pizza. I tell her pizza no good, order Chinese food. Teri's in the background dieing of laughter. Down side the girls saw Teri drunk. Upside they saw her not feeling well today. I hope it is not a big deal as I am making it.

Sunday in the Village with the family

We went down to NYU in Greenwich Village yesterday. I tried to recreate the original trip we, Teri and I took four years ago and they say you can never go home again for a reason. It will always be different.
  The World did cooperate and gave us a mostly nice day and it was even St Anthony's day in the village again, but it was different, we were different. I just didn't realize how different.

   We got to Furman Hall early and decided to walk around until it was time to go inside and we walked with the girls. It wasn't relaxing like it was last time. This time our attention was on the girls who were all over, who wanted to run to the next corner, who wanted to pet every dog that came by and it left us a little out of sorts.
  We stopped at a local grocery store to get the girls carrots and it pleases me to no end that they still enjoy fruits and raw vegetables after three years of an American diet.   We are lucky, we both still have jobs and we both make OK salaries for this area, that doesn't mean that this adoption isn't going to squeeze us a great deal. We are still paying off the first adoption and were in the process of remortgaging the house to make needed improvements when this came up. I've started a low profile donation letter to help off set the cost, but I think I've been to low key about it so I will have to set it up a little. So here it is Send donations to 'The Bridge of Hope 8630 Fenton St. Silver Springs Md. 20910. Put on the check for Anya and Leonid'  100% goes to their adoption and it is tax deductible. Now that wasn't so hard. Am I talking to you or me?

  We got to Furman hall and the crowd was smaller then the last time four years ago, I guess the economy got a lot of people. We were greeted  like old friends and I guess after four years we are. I would like to get more involved in this some day. I think it might be something I would enjoy alot. We sat in the back and had an enjoyable afternoon. The last time we were both intently listening afraid that we would miss some little bit of information that would make the hosting go so terribly wrong. This time we were relaxed and it was easier to pick up a few new ideas that we or at least I didn't know.

  We will be hosting some of the chaperone's it appears on a marathon shopping spree, hey it's OK, it makes it easy to entertain  them. We pick them up in Danbury, (I just can't seem to get away from there.) bring them to the Palisades Center mall, start them off at DSW and work our way around until they are satisfied.
  We got to get up in front of the group and tell stories about our experience hosting our girls in '08. We told the classics and Nastia even said a few words correcting who was in their underwear walking the dog and who was in their underwear skipping rope in the street that first day. To me it was the highlight of the day.

   After the class we decided to go to Lunilla restaurant in little Italy. This is where it went wrong. I wanted to do it and Teri only went along because I wanted to, we walked because it was only a mile and it was cheaper then paying for parking again and Teri is looking real good these days and she is more willing to take a walk of around two plus miles round trip then in the past and did I tell you we are sucking wind on this adoption and the address to donate is above ( wow, it gets easier every time I do it.) As I said before it was a wonderful day except for a little shower when we started. We walked past NYU, who was having some sort of street fair/career day or something and the girls wanted to run again and we got a little lost. We were going by GPS car directions and it took us around the block when all we need to do was walk in the opposite direction and cut about a third of a mile off the trip.
   Dinner was good, except it bothered Teri's stomach and she wasn't feeling good on the way back to the car so when she asked the directions and I said Mulberry to Broadway to third and she thought we needed to go on Bleeker and she wasn't feeling good and we pass Bleeker she got mad and said we should go this way and we went and I got angry and we did finally get to the car. I won't say I was right I'll leave that up to you to say and remember I had the GPS and remember too in this case it did not stand for giant piece of s..t.

  We got into the Mustang, it is a convertible and I got it twelve years ago at the beginning of my mid-life crises and Teri says we need to put the top up. I would drive around in this thing until the rain starts to fill up the interior of the car before I'd put the top up, but I was tired of fighting and so I just did it. It poured and if I had said no to putting the top up it would of put me in a bad postion of having to admit I was wrong so having the top up was not a bd thing. On the ride home Teri still didn't feel good and my leg hurt, but we did not stop or ask to stop I think we both needed to get home and when we did I took care of the garbage and the recyclables . showered and went to bed. That was eight-thirty. Teri came up at ten-thirty and I kissed her good night and we went to sleep both knowing even though it was Monday it would be better then the way Sunday ended. Again You can't go home again for a reason. Everything is different.

Memorial Day 2012

Usual Memorial days are filled with lawn mowing and going to see the parade. Each year we forget about the parade until We, I heard the police siren announcing the parade. Usually Teri is not ready to see the parade and does not go.

   This year was a little different, Elena wanted to be in the parade and got to be a banner holder. Not a bad job. So we all remembered the parade and when it would be. I dropped Elena off at the ambulance corp on Kings highway. I guess what I did really was stop the car in traffic and tell her to get out. And on top of that it was the sight of the middle school, not the elementary. Feeling a little bad I turned around and went back. Just as I feared she was standing around the middle school band a little lost. Nastia was with me and together the three of us found the Congers band just across the street.

 Nastia and I go back home and with Nancy and Teri go to see the parade. Teri wanted to go down to the VFW hall to wait and pick up Elena, but we usually see the parade against the rock wall between S. Conger and S. Harrison, so we waited there. It was a short parade and after Elena passed we went down to the VFW to get her. We got this close up experience of seeing this group of about twelve musicians play so really good music right in front of the reviewing stand, it was great. In this time of war and insanity, patriotic song played very well is special.

   When we got home it was humid and the girls got to go swimming for the second time already this year. I opened the pool to be ready for the end of June not knowing it was going to be a warm May and the polar bear kids would use the 66 degree water. More power to them.

   I mowed the lawn and tried to get ready for the barbecue coming up on Monday. About three in the afternoon it started rumbling thunder. I tried to remember what my mom would of done, but couldn't. So I did what I would do if I was on my boat, First lightening bolt inside. Which is what I did and it seemed a little extreme so I let them stay outside , out of the pool, out of the tree house and just near the the house until the rain started then they wanted to watch the lightening and they ended sitting on my lap on the front porch. After the lightening stopped I let them go out in the rain where they danced and did flips and any silly thing they wanted. I probability shouldn't of.

The New York Aquarium and the Washington DC men

On Sunday, we decided to take the girls to the New York Aquarium and have a little fun. We got a late start and left the house about one pm. Teri's got a wonderful new car, it's a black 2012 Toyota highlander, it's very nice. It fits six people easily and it looks to be the family car of the future, as we grow to a family of six.
   Someone messed with the GPS. It may of happened when I cleaned the finger prints off the screen or it might of happened before then, but something happened to the GPS and it decided to take us on all the back roads it could find to the Aquarium. Now if you don't know the Aquarium is on Surf ave in Brooklyn just down the street from Nathans.I've gone to Nathan's several times while working in the city just for the fun of it and never did I take some of these roads.

   It started out simple enough. Teri looked over the route and it said to go by several roads and get on 95. Not thinking I say OK when Teri says to just go over the Tappan Zee bridge and pick up 95. Once over the bridge it has us get on route 9 south and we weave our way into the Bronx with me alternating between using the GPS and going my own way. We end up in the Bronx over near Fordham college when I decide it is my time to totally ignore the machine and do it the old fashion way if we are ever going to get there. I cross over into Manhattan and think about crossing over to the West side highway, but think the FDR is closer and easier, except there is traffic on it and when we finally get to the Battery tunnel You'd think our troubles would be over, mostly we end up taking more back roads to the aquarium. Once there we fix the GPS so going home will be a breeze.
   Near the end of our trip as we are a few miles away from the Aquarium, Nastia asks why are all these Washington DC men around here. I ask "What do you mean?"
   She goes " Washington DC men, you know the ones with the long beards and the black suits and hats"
   Between giggles Teri tries to explain to her about the people in Williamsburg Brooklyn.

   Once at the Aquarium we see the seal feeding and go through the shark house and by then it is sadly time to leave. We will come back.
   Audry Elliott comes on Thursday to do our home study up date. For me it's a little anticlimatic, Teri was a bit up tight tonight (wednesday night) at least until she vacuumed the house. It should go well... I hope.

If cleaning the pool is assured, you're the one doing it

Sunday was supposed to be the great day of accomplish  alot. The girls caught me as I was going out the door and reminded me that I had promised to open the pool this weekend. With our guests coming at the end of June I didn't want to be still playing with the pool trying to get it clean and clear with them days or hours away, so I opened it.

   I got a pump out to clear off the water on the cover. The pump started sucking up the cover so I uncovered the pool to force the water into one area. The water was a little green but all in all looked good. I gathered the cover to the far end and started sucking the remaining water out, the pump grabbed cover again. So I gave anothe pull on it, but this time an end slipped into the water and a brown stain flowed slowly out dirting the water. I spent several hundred dollars on chemicals last year to clean up dirty water like this and then I didn't want to swim in it so this year I emptied the pool and the girls spent some time in the almost empty pool saying the water is too cold to have their feet in after telling me all day long they would go swimming as soon as the pool is open. They played at cleaning the leaves out of the pool and when they were tired of doing that they went inside and I spent time cleaning out the leaves so we could refill it.

Dear Russian Mother

Inspired by her preformance in Annie I guess, Elena wrote a song about her Russian mother. It is called 'Dear Russian Mother'
Tell me that you love me more then one(once)
I look in your eyes and see you proud.
I run to you, you run to me
I miss you, I miss you
Tell me that you love me more then one (once)
I just want to say I love you with all my heart
I see you cry,
please come back and start a new life
I want to see you one more time.
Tell me that you love me more then once.

A Ham is born if not a star

What seems like way back in September I got Nastia and Elena into the drama clubs in their schools. Both joined a week late. Nastia then got sick for a week and was dropped from the drama club. Elena stayed with her drama club and for the first several months we did not know what she was doing in the play, I kept asking if she was supposed to be there today, until one of the school workers asked me if she really wanted to be in the play? Finally I found out she was an extra in the NYC scene. Perfect for her first part, something in the background so she could get a feel for being on the stage and she could decide if she wanted to go for bigger and better parts.

   Tonight was the second of three performances, we saw the second and third. The first was a dress rehersal for the school. At the end of the two preformances, at the end of the cast introductions when everyone was leaving the stage, she didn't seem to want to leave the stage. Has a star been born or is it just the ham in her coming out. It was fun to see her up there. She seemed a little distracted while on the stage, but I think she enjoyed herself. We'll see what happens next year when it's time to join the drama club again.

   About my last post when I said we were going to adopt children again. Iv'e been asked to refrain from talking about it. The Russian's are a very proud people who take very seriously what happens to their citizens to the point that any child that is adopted from Russia to a foreign country is still considered a Russian citizen. So what Iv'e decided to do with the blessing of the Cradle of hope is to not use any names or pictures of the kids until they are ours, but I will still talk about what is going on. If it is not acceptable then I will wait to post anything about the new kids until they are ours.

Strange days indeed

It seems that when life is good and it's almost that right now, Teri is still working too many hours and gets up early to do it, you just can't let it be. Something comes up that makes you want to change it and everyone is going to secretly think we are crazy, and I would not blame you.
  We are going to host two new kids from Russia. That's not even the crazy part. The younger one is Anya ( pronounced I think as Ann-ya) she is eleven years old and I think she might of not been adopted  previously because she does not want to be separated from her brother, here is the crazy part, he is sixteen. His name is Leonid.
   He wrote a letter that was put up with their pictures and an e-mail sent out. I always hate these e-mails, because they are like bad car crashes, you know it is going to be sad, but you just can't help from looking. Teri looked at it at work and I flipped through it while I was taking a break from my new job. More about that later. In his letter, which I hope to post he writes about how he is willing to give up everything to get adopted with his sister and how he knows the chances are not good. It was a heart breaker. The difference between my wife and I was she called me, while I just wiped a tear from my eye and went back to work. She's a doer, I'm not.
   We started the paperwork officially with the idea just to host, but that has given way quickly to talk of keeping them and how to do it. As long as nothing goes critically wrong we will most likely adopt them.
   Last night Nancy and Thasha, everyones favorite next daughter came over to eat dinner with us. We all gathered around the table to eat garlic chicken, macaroni and cheese and corn. A good meal.

The girls at karate

   Garlic chicken is chicken nuggets, with butter, garlic and bread crumbs. It's not one of those heart health foods and with macaroni and cheese it was definitely not a heart health meal, but it was comfort food and it helped inspire a very fun dinner.
   I'm sure all parents are familiar with the kids game how long can you go without talking. The rules are simple. The kids see how long they can not talk so the parents can have some peace and quiet. Well this game has taken on a life of it's own and last night when Nastia said lets play it I thought it was a game not to be played outside the family, but I didn't say anything. Where this game is different is the adults play and the people who are out try to get the ones who are still in to talk. I find that the most fun so I always talk first and anything goes to make a person talk.
   One of the best things my wife did was to put macaroni and cheese on Nastia's plate.She doesn't like cheese and it almost got her to talk when she saw it. Their was a lot of laughs and it was one of those nights that you hope your child looks back on years later with a warm feeling in their heart.
   I got a new job, with my old company, Consolidated. There are new people and a few changes, but I like the energy and the relaxed atmosphere, it's been a good three weeks. At Marcus I'd begun to dread going back to work starting usually around Sunday afternoon and during the week I would have to force myself to think of something so I would not think about work and get myself all upset and not be able to sleep. Come Friday, I would not be happy the weekend was here because I would have to gear myself up again after relaxing over the weekend. It was time to leave. No problems sleeping now and no problems with Sunday afternoons and I feel my energy coming back. I am different from the last time I was there. My time at Marcus made me a better salesman. I can't deny that.

The Times they are a-changin

The times they are a-changin
 a relationship is like a shark, it's got to keep movin, I think we have a dead shark on our hands.

Thank you to Bob Dylan and Woody Allen for putting into words the last few months of life. Amanda started living with us and about a month ago I started taking my daughters to the park and they convinced me to play basketball. They wanted to play games to twenty and play full court and I'd look at them and ask them if they were trying to kill me? I knew I was getting older, but I never felt as old as when I started taking jump shots from the top of the key and the ball would hit nothing. These were shots that in the past would at least bounce off the rim or slide up against the backboard, then fall off to one side or the other.

Time square february school project reading in the wildest places

Super Mario in Time Square

  We would play almost half court games, which means I would bring the ball out past the three point line and if the girls get the ball they would shot it up at the basket no matter what happened. The girls learned to cheat rather quickly. They would pull and lean on me and if I called a foul they would plead innocent. In most games I would pull ahead in the beginning as they fought who would get the ball and shot it. Every game I would point this out to them and as soon as they quit fighting they would pass the ball and I would loosen up on the defence and they would score and most of the time win. I think they have won half the time.
    Two big events happened this week. On Friday, my thirteen year old daughter, Nastia complained that she had a headache, but I made her go to school. About ten-thirty the school calls and says she is not feeling good and would like to come home. I pick her up and let her stay alone for a few hours. Teri thinks she might be getting migraine headaches. I'm a cold hearted bastard when it comes to pain. When I was sick, I still went to school. If someone attacked me with a meat clever and left it sticking out of my head, I'd still go to school. If asked about it I'd say I got a little headache, I'm OK. Now the flip side of this is when I was there I never did anything, go figure. Back to Nastia, she feels better about the time school is over, of course and enjoys the rest of the day.
   On Saturday, we have Nancy and Amanda down stairs doing something, I'm in the bedroom watching TV when Nastia calls out to me "Daddy" I go to the bathroom door and ask her what. She says " whats it mean when you get black stuff?"
  I say "What do you mean?"
   "You know"
   I say "No I don't, where's it coming from?"  The first hint I knew I was in trouble.
   "From my va-jin-ya"
give me credit I hang in there. "Is it really red or is it black" I ask.
   "well its really red."
   "Well you've just grown up." As I am saying that I hear giggles from down stairs. "Let me get your Aunt Nancy". I'm a little out of my realm, (you want to talk about wet dreams or shrinkage after swimming I'm you man) I know when to hand it over to the experts.
   Teri wasn't home, when she calls up later in a sad little voice she says " my baby's grown up"
The experts get Nastia all set up and she walk around saying " this things uncomfortable, do I have to wear it?"
   And of course I have to tell her I don't think they are supposed to be comfortable. Then the fun starts when Nastia asks me questions about getting her period and all my replies start with "I don't know I never had one, but..."
   On a lighter note, we went to see the three stooges on a Tuesday and used discount tickets, only spent ten dollars. The movie wasn't bad, it also didn't deviate much from their well known stick, which was most likely the best way to go. Nastia and Elena were in hysterics over the film. They also have this habit of talking to the screen and they need to work on there church whispers. So if you ever bring them to the movies bring plenty of  'shhhh's with you.
   Anyone  want to baby sit two adorable kids for the summer, boy is summer camp pricey.
 

When your daughters are bitches, should you tell them?

Before I had kids and had all the answers, I always admired the fact that my brother Karl never cursed in front of his daughter. I imagined it was easy and if I ever had kids I would do it. It would show how in control of my life I was and how superior of a parent I was. (I hope your laughing as much as I am.)
My favorite question back then was "Why don't they stop their kids from doing that?" Only now do I have the answer; it's I'm tired of them not listening and I'm willing to be thought a bad parent for a while just to keep my sanity and not be arrested for yelling at my child in public. Which all of those superior people, without children now demand.
  I now have two daughters and I have also rediscovered my bad temper. Long ago I thought I had slayed that dragon and anytime I lost my temper was for a good reason.

  Well, just like I no longer have all the answers to raising kids, I no longer feel everytime I lose my temper it is for a good reason and there are times where I will tell my daughters "I'm sorry, you didn't deserve to be yelled at like that." With the hope that they will not be as bad with their temper as their dear old dad.
  All this leads up to the day I called Elena a bitch to her face. It was a friday night and we went out to eat at a restaurant called Gilligan's. It has a low priced menu and a relaxed atmosphere. I don't remember all of the story, but Teri had gone to the bathroom and Elena was slouched down in her chair and I said something to her and she gave a wise answer, puberty you know. So I told her to sit up and quit being, I stopped for a moment before I gave myself the mental go ahead to call her a bitch. I don't know why I did. It just seemed to be the word that fit best and at the time I could not think of any word better. I also thought if she was being one she must of said it or at least of been one to someone else. I know I'm trying to justify using bad laungage to my daughter. I did preface this by saying I have a bad temper. Am I saying it is my temper that caused my to call Elena a bitch or that it was better to call her that then to yell at her, but most of all she was being a bitch.
  A couple of weeks later the three of us are in a car going home from a trip to the eye doctor. It is at least half an hour drive time to get there and an other half an hour to get back, plus all the can I have some bread from the platter and why do I have to sit right in the chair and I'm bored and why do you wish mommy had taken us? So with all that going on and I having forgotten the appointment, my daughters are being noisy and again Elena develops an attitude and again I call her a bitch. This time I am a little surprised when she asks me "what is a bitch"
 I resist the easy out by saying "You"  and I begin to tell her what a bitch is and why it is not nice.
  She says "Daddy, I'm not a bitch and that is not a nice thing to call your daughter."

  "but if your being one it's the truth." a said
  she starts to get angry and this is a girl who is starting to develop into someone who will not back down, which is a good thing...sometimes and she says "I'm not being a bitch."
I begin to see this conversation as a little absurd for some reason and I start to think it is funny and I laugh, this only servers to get her more angry, she now thinks I am laughing at her because she is being a bitch. I laugh more because they are both questioning me and using the word bitch.
  I stop them and tell them that the word bitch is not a word that is socially acceptable and even though daddy used it you should not say it. Lets see if daddy can resist the urge to say it as his daughters become older and get further into puberty and bigger b...... I became a bigger pain as I got older then thirteen.