Every thing old is new again

It seems like we went through this once before. The girls are in an after school program and the after school program has asked them to leave. They feel that the girls’ lack of understanding English is too time consuming and it takes time away from the other kids. It’s not that the girls were bad, except for today, it just the language. I’m really getting tired of all these people who don’t want to handle the girls, really tired.
Teri and I had a phone call with the principle Martha Ryan today, nothing to do with the JCC after school program. It was an interesting conversation. She talked about bring in more help for the girls. A teacher’s assistant some more ESL help and some Russian language programs. I’m just a babe in the woods when it comes to getting what a student in need needs, but it seems that she is trying her best to help the girls out and is not nickel and diming us. I hope it turns out to be true. She is a really nice person and her staff seems to be really nice and helpful. Again I hope it all works out right.
With work I don’t get to see the girls much. I was told that Elena acted up in the after school program. The two of them were barking like dogs, which they have done before. But Elena was climbing on furniture. Teri got the fun job of setting the two of them straight on proper behavior in public. I went to donate blood at the local FD. When I got back all three were alive and there were no obvious bruises so I guess it went well.
Up until two nights ago the girls were sleeping in the double bed in the back bedroom and Teri said they were talking too much and were not getting to sleep quick enough so she made them go back to their room and to sleep in their own beds. Elena did try to get into Nastia's bed, but was stopped. It always seems to be Elena who wants to be with Nastia and is stopped. I’m not sure I agree with it. I think for the two of them it is a security thing. But then again this is the second night of it and there seems to be no side effects. I guess when they are in therapy in ten years and they blame Teri for all their attachment problems I’ll know that it was a mistake.

It's all happening at the zoo.

This past weekend we wanted to do something as a family. So we decided to go to the Bronx Zoo. We figured that the price of a ticket for the four of us and then we invited back up and babysitting, Amanda and Thrasha. Everything worked out about as well as could be expected. That sounds like I have some reservations about the day. I guess maybe I do. I’m still trying to get my head around the fact that every time we go out the price of everything we do is going to be twice what it was. We went to the Hard Wok Thursday and we had a great time, my mother and brother and his family and my sister and her family were all there and the price to take the four of us out was just a little short of fifty bucks and I always viewed the Hard Wok as a cheap place to go eat. I guess we will not be going to El Bandito, where Teri and I can do 80-100 dollars, anytime soon.
We invited CJ and Fran to go with us to the Zoo, but they could not come. So Teri, Amanda, Thrasha, Nastia, Elena and I all went to the zoo. We got there at about one pm and it was a warm day so like idiots, we at least me, we threw off our jackets forgetting it was October and not June. About an hour or so later in the shade it started to get a little cold.
The first animals we saw where the Water Buffalo and they were at the other end of their space. I wonder if the girls could see them, we still need to get them glasses.

Being Lions

They really enjoyed seeing the Tiger, the snow leopard and several other animals. They enjoyed seeing a peacock up close and after Birobidzan I didn’t trust Nastia to be alone with anything with feathers. If you don’t remember she enjoys chasing pigeons and trying to catch them. Got as close as a handful of feathers once. I don’t know what a peacock would do if it was chased and cornered by Nastia.
We ate some pretty poor food at the food court area and around four in the afternoon we were at the other end of the park. We started back by another route to see other things. We stopped at the Giraffe enclosure, but there was none to be seen. By this time most of the animals had been bought inside I guess to be fed.

We walked to one gate only to find out that it was the wrong gate. Finally as the sun was setting and it was getting colder we finally found the correct gate and got in the car and went home. All and all it was good to get out as a family and we dropped Amanda and Thrasha off at Tony’s house and picked up an old file cabinet that Nancy got from work and bought it home.
At Home I was bring the file cabinet out of the car and the cellar steps were exposed and out of the corner of my eye I see a figure tumble down the stairs. It was weird, it happened without any sound. The first sound I heard was Elena starting to cry. I dropped the cabinet and ran down the stairs. I picked her up, I know I should have seen if she was ok first, and I carry her inside and sit her down in a chair in the kitchen. I would not let her get up until I was sure she was ok. Teri checked out one side of her and I did the second. Now the most important thing out of all this was during the fall and me carrying her and checking her out she did not drop her Nintendo game. Oh also she was fine, maybe a knot on her head which she played up for the rest of the night, just a little bit

A bicycle ride and the trampoline

Today started slowly, we had work to catch up on that has been neglected for the past five weeks. The lawn hadn’t been mowed in six or so weeks and must have been a foot deep.
I started to mow the lawn and it was going slow. The bag would clog up with wet grass very quickly and have to be emptied often. I had the good fortune to get some help after about twenty minutes of this when the girls came out to help. They turned a job that was going to take an hour and cut the time to two hours. They both wanted to push the mower and both wanted to empty the bag of grass and then take the wheel barrow to the recycling pile to empty. As they emptied the wheel barrow I started the mower and did as much of the lawn as I could until they got back .This went along for a while until one got tired and went in and then the other one followed. I thought they were going to come back so I hurried to mow as much as I could. After a while I saw that they were in the dining room eating hot dogs so then I was able to finish the side yard at my leisure.
After they had lunch, they came out and wanted to go bike riding. I figured if I made them wait they would get into some trouble and they would never get to go, so we went.
My brother has a long paved driveway and it makes for a nice place to bike ride. Last year the girls had trouble going up the slight grade in the pavement. By the time they left it was a breeze.
This year they are out of practice and are having some difficulty going up the incline. Before the snows I hope they will have managed to go up and down the driveway with no problem. I would like to take them to the park near us it has a three and a half mile trail that they would enjoy biking once they are in shape. They went up and down the driveway about a dozen times and I stood at one end near the road. I took my eyes off them and they did not come back down the driveway. I went looking for them and I found the bikes and I continued and they had decided to go on the trampoline my brother has. I was angry they did not ask, so I played the parent and made them get off the trampoline and come to me and I told them that they have to ask before they do something like that and then I made them ask me. Some parent, it’s the same thing my mother did to me. I don’t know if that is good or not. In this everybody wins and there is no losers’ world and if you swat your kid they call the cops on you world it makes me wonder.
The day at my brothers lasted about two and a half hours and I hadn’t eaten lunch so I went to Nathans at the Nanuet Mall, which is very empty and had a hot dog and originally I got the girls one soda to share. Yea, you know what’s coming, I ended up getting them a second soda because they begged me and I’m sure Teri has told you she thinks I’m a soft touch, I not really.
Our final stop was the fruit store. I love the fact that these girls think fruit is a treat and I’m trying to maintain that. Teri says eating a dozen bananas in a two day period is not good. But isn’t fruit good for you?
We got home Teri made penne and sauce for dinner and the girls loved it, the good old standby. Thank god they will eat something.

First day at school

I’m writing this about four or so days after the fact and I think they went to school for the first time on Monday, the fifth.
I don’t remember the day, but I do remember what happened and how everyone felt. Well most everyone, I couldn’t read Teri too well that day.
Nastia and Elena started the day just like they started everyday of their time here last summer when they had to get up, they didn’t do it willingly. I came into the bedroom; while Teri was in the shower and tried to be gentle waking them up, it didn’t work. I should have known it would not. These two are survivors of an Orphanage and are used to noise and distractions and all that other stuff that goes along with it. When I remembered that I straightened up, grabbed a handful of covers and pulled them off of them. They didn’t move. I turned on the light and got a groan, progress. Finally I resorted to sitting them up on the edge of the bed only to see them fall back over as I reached for the other. The final solution turned out to be getting them to stand up and not let them get back into bed. Of course it would have also been a good idea to get them to bed at an earlier hour, which we did try. It started out as an 8:30 bed time and I think it was after 10pm by the time they quit talking.
With the two of them full upright and almost awake I told them to get dressed and started to leave and when I turned back guess what I saw. Yes that is why I have the smartest readership I know, they were both getting back into bed. So this time when I told them to get dressed I waited for them to start before I left.
We had toast for breakfast, Teri fixing it and maybe some fruit too. At about 7:45 we started to walk to school. Teri and I had a big discussion about their backpacks and I didn’t like the packs we had bought for the Russia trip being used, but they had a lot of stuff to bring to school and nothing else fit it all so we did it. I was afraid that they would seem like freaks if they went to school with backpacks that I thought of as airline luggage. I thought that they were going to have enough trouble fitting in without starting out with some weird backpack given to them by their out of touch parents. It turned out OK, all the kids had backpacks of various sizes and they didn’t standout too much.
Walking to school I ended up carrying both bags. I don’t know if it was a scam run by those two to get out of carrying the bags or if they were just too heavy. I thought they were too heavy. Kids are supposed to carry bags weighing no more than ten percent of their weight and these bags were more than ten pounds.
We entered the school and were greeted by the people we met on our first trip there. I was allowed to walk the girls to their class room and we first went to Elena’s. I thought Elena was handling it better then Nastia so I continued on to Nastia’s class. There Nastia was introduced to some of her class mates and a fifth grader who spoke Russian. The teachers are all very nice and the principle is extremely helpful and nice. The ESL teacher is good too.
Everyone is so helpful and I have good feelings about it all. It is about time these girls catch a break in their lives.
I have read a history of their lives and it is not pretty. Their mother got a government pension for some mental disorder that Nastia and Elena are said to suffer from to a lesser degree and she would use the money to buy Vodka.
A very telling incident happened while we were at the airport. Teri told me about it. She and Nastia were out in front of the duty free shop and Teri said something about Vodka and buying some and Nastia very pointedly said NOOOOOH. And then Teri asked about Papa buying some and again another emphatic NOOOOOH.
It seems somewhere in her memory she remembers that her mother drank and what happened when she did.
Another story; we were at some friends house last year and someone was drinking beer and Nastia asked if he was a drunk?
It’s sad that a person and especially someone that young has those demons running around in their head. Maybe it will save her the grief of getting involved with alcohol and not being able to stop like her mother, hopefully for both of them.
After the Nastia was settled in her class, she was given a hook for her jacket and a desk for her books and stuff; I went to see how Elena was doing. She was at her desk with her jacket and gloves still on and did not want to remove them, I guess they were her safety blanket.
I left with the Principle, Mrs. Ryan and we walked down the hall and she kept telling me they would be OK and I told her I knew they would and that I was feeling worse than they were right now.
I left after another quick talk with Mrs. Ryan and our separate days were starting.
Teri picked them up at 2:30 and sat and talked with Mrs. Ryan and told the same stuff I was told in a phone call I received about 11:30.
For a first day it went well.

The weekend 10-03-04-2009

The weekend like friday went very fast. Here it is Sunday afternoon and I am having trouble remembering what happened.
Yesterday was spent at the house I was sick friday night and most of saturday I had no energy and could not eat.
Teri cleaned the house and went to a Bruce Springsteen concert at Giant Staduim with Amanda last night. I got some chinese food for Tony, the girls and myself and the girls didn't eat it. Remember they do not eat lo-main or at least on this day they did not and they also turned their noses up at broccolli which I can't blame them. Even though I like it I can imagine why they would not so they had spaghetti again for the forth time in two days and when they tire of that all that is left is peanut butter and jelly. 
  Sunday was better, first off  I felt better and I got the girls out of the house and we went to Corrado's in Patterson NJ. to get some pumpkins for halloween. They most likely don't know what it is so we are going to try and ease them into it slowly so they don't get scared. They did find funny and interesting a screaming head and it didn't scare them.
   After that we went to Lynn and Eric's to bike ride and they had cookies, popcorn and soda to make up for the missed lunch, my fault. They also jumped on the trampoline and Elena was doing flips on it. We are going to take Ruth's trampoline, but I'm not sure how comfortable I am about it.
  That took until about three in the afternoon and it is now five. The Giants have won, the Yankees are going to the playoffs and the Jets are just starting. Life is pretty good right now.

Back to reality, sorta 10-01-09

Today was very simple yet it took all day.
We’re back in America and Teri and I go back to work Monday, if the girl’s paper work is ok and we can get them into school.
We spent the day trying to do just that. I took the girls to the school to introduce them to the school and any official I could meet and I had some success. The Principle, Martha Ryan was in a meeting and she took a few minutes to meet the girls and had her secretary call the main administrative office to set up an appointment for us at 10:30 and then to come back after and get a tour of the school on Friday.
We then went over to Social services to get their social security cards and that didn’t take as long as you might think it would. We then bought sandwiches for Hartells and went home to have lunch. The rest of the day is a blur and I know we made the girls dinner. I know I didn’t have time to turn on the TV at all either.

The Long Trip Home 09-30-09

Our flight from Moscow was scheaduled to leave at 3:55 pm and as everyone who has traveled knows it is a long time to wait if you have nothing to do and it is too short a time to do anything. So we went to a breakfast buffet to eat and we got ready to leave. Never wanting to miss a flight you always get ready early and want to get to the airport early. So after we ate we took all our belongings to the lobby to wait for our ride. Anatoly was to pick us up at twelve-thirty, there was an hour ride to the airport and after customs and the like we should only have an hour to wait, not bad.

A street in Moscow near Hard Rock

During the ride I sat in the back and Teri sat up front. The strategy was to sit between the two girls and make it difficult for them to get crazy. I took out the camera and replayed some of the videos I took at the Moscow circus and some of the videos of the girls singing on the car trip to Kharbarsky. It was a good start until Elena wanted to use the camera. So I put it away and only occasionally took it out to take some videos of the city. I did give Elena my other camera and let her take pictures until the battery died (about 6 pictures).
We got to the airport in plenty of time and went through the security and got to the gates with about 35 or so minutes until the boarding started. During the wait to go through security Elena has to go to the bathroom and what do you tell a little girl? We tell her to wait. What else could you do?
After security she got her bathroom break and then they got some lays chip flavored with caviar.
We boarded the plane and our seats were not together. Two seats were in row 31 with a window seat. The other two were isle seats in row 35, seats g and h. Elena and Teri got the two seats together and Nastia and I go the seats on the aisle. The figuring was that Nastia could handle sitting next to a stranger better then Elena. That is exactly what happened. Nastia begins talking with this guy next to her and he is trying to sleep and he is polite and talks to her and every time I tell him I’m sorry for her he says it’s ok.
The plane takes off and everything goes well for the first several hours. Elena is up with Teri and Nastia has conned the guy out of his window seat. When dinner comes through Nastia switches again so I can get the majority of her dinner that she won’t eat. She won’t eat meat because someone told her it comes from dead cows and I end up with 90% of her dinner.
After dinner people start moving around the plane and the guy next to Nastia disappears and the guy next to me disappears. Elena sees this and asks to sit next to Nastia which is a mistake but I let her and I go up to talk to Teri who I have not seen much since Birobidzan. We talk and I look back toward the twisted sisters and it goes well for the first few minutes. I don’t remember what happens but I think the two of them start to get carried away and get noisy. I tell them to be quite and it gets to the point where I send Elena back to Teri and she refuses to go. I have to push her down the aisle of the plane and she grabs seats and refuses to move her feet. I feel as if the eyes of everyone on the plane are on me and judging me. Why is this American got these two Russian girls? He doesn’t know how to raise Russian girls. I have to lift her into her seat and that is the end of the first time. Yes it happens again and it is the same. She tells Teri she has to go to the bathroom and she tries to sit in my seat and I have to grab her and force her down the aisle. I lose my temper at this point and I hiss into her ear that if she ever wants to get out of that seat again she better get in it now. I could have recited the star spangled banner for all the difference it made, she doesn’t understand English.
I guess that was the low point of the flight if you don’t include the viewing for the third time in a month ‘What happens in Vegas’ and ‘Twenty-Seven Dresses’.
We land at about six-thirty at J.F.K. Airport we go through customs, we go through passport control where the officer checking us out had adopted a child from Korea and we exchanged a few stories, the guy was real nice. We are then asked to go to a small room where they were going to take care of some paperwork. It took about fifteen minutes and then we get our bags and find our driver and finally we are on our way home. It is a strange feeling to be away for so long and then to finally be back. Everything is strange, yet familiar. It is now about seven in the evening in New York, in Moscow it is two am and in Birobidzan it is ten in the morning, everyone is tired and doesn’t know how many hours of sleep they are missing. We yell at the girls to keep the noise down and the first person to fall asleep is Teri.
On the plane Nastia fell asleep at the end of the flight and Elena I don’t know if she slept at all.
When we get to t he house there are a bunch of car and all the lights in the house are on. I was not happy. A welcome home party for the girls is a nice idea but the adoption people said it would not be good for the girls. So I approached the house with some reserve. After a few minutes the girls seem to be unaffected by everything I relax. Again the girls go against the norm. The party was the nicest way to end the trip and I was glad almost everyone came over. Thank you all.

An American in Moscow 09-29-09

An American in Moscow
The last step in our long trip happened today. The American Embassy to pay for our children to become American citizens. It’s the American way. The Russians want paperwork on top of paperwork, the Americans want cold hard cash. God bless America, I can’t wait to get back!
We started the day getting breakfast at the cafe in the lobby. This time Elena didn’t want to eat and she was angry. Yesterday or today we gave those Nintendo DS systems and we have been telling them we would take them away if they were not good. At breakfast Elena was mad and made what looked like a stabbing motion with her fork toward Teri. We both say it and interpreted it that way, Elena said she it was a throwing motion not a stabbing one, and we talked it over and left it on hold for the time being.
We had decided to go take a trip on the metro today to the zoo and red square and the hard rock café. Last night we had decided to do just the Hard Rock Café and see what time we had left after that. We walked past the crap dog café and went down into the metro. It took a few minutes to get our barring and off we went on the next train. We had seven stops to our location and we also got a newer train that showed the stops and what stop we were at, life was good. At our stop we get off and head up to the surface. This is where the trouble started. We had neglected to get more specific data and a better map to help us out. I went to the street and tried to find a street on my map while Teri held on to the girls. I neglected to mention that it is a windy and occasionally showery day and the girl’s jackets and sweaters are a little light for the weather. Bad Parents, Bad! I take our little party to the left and we get to New Arbot st. We wanted Old Arbot st. so I look at the map, ask a person, with my wife’s kindly encouragement and he say we are going in the wrong direction and need to go back the way we came. In reality he said “Hard Rock Café” and pointed in the direction we’d just came. We walk past Old Arbot st. and again with my wife’s quiet encouragement I ask another man and he again says we have passed the location we are looking for and must go back to the corner we have just passed and it is just down the street. And yes, all he did was point and said soon, soon.
We got to the Hard Rock and had lunch, we gave the girls French fries, Teri had a Cobb salad and I had a burger. It was expensive, but it was nice to again eat something you could relate to.
Anatoly picked us up at the Hard Rock and a few minutes later we were at the Embassy. They ask you to get on a line separate from other people; I guess it is the line for Americans. We showed the guard our invitation and we then went to the desk and gave up anything that was not allowed inside, camera, cell phones, and the like. We then went to window four A and we gave the government 800.00 and I didn’t mind, it’s the end of the road and there is no line and my instructions say to go to window one and hand in my instructions, which we do. We are asked to sit down and wait until we are called. Within a few minutes several other families come in with the same business. They are from Texas, California, Chicago and one was from St Petersburg and she was adopting a girl and had plans stay in Russia for about a year and a half to teach Foreign Service worker’s children.
We were out in about an hour or so and we imposed on Anatoly to take us to Red Square, I guess I did. No one else wanted to really go. We were close to it so the trip was short. I have seen Red Square and some of the other building on TV for years and to finally see it in person was nothing short of amazing. I saw where leaders of the USSR would stand during parades, I stood where soldiers marched by and where Czars of Russia had walked. It was truly a great experience.
We got back to the Hotel and had dinner in another buffet in our hotel and went to our rooms.

Turn your Head and cough 09-28-09

I know some of the girls in the audience will not understand the title of today's blog title. We went to the doctors office and being a boy all my life that was one of the things I never understood the doctor doing. He would put his had between our legs and say turn your head and cough. We all thought the doctor a little strange.
  Got up and had no breakfast had to get to the Doctor's Office at nine and it's an hours trip. Traffic in Moscow is bad and its going to get worse. The roads are mostly side streets in width and they have buildings on both sides and no space to widen.

On the way to the Doctor’s office we stopped at a clothing store to get the girl’s jackets or at least sweaters. We walked into a store that would fit into any American downtown and it had the prices to match. Jackets started at fifty dollars and went up. Sweaters started at thirty and went up. Anatoly our driver said it was the cheapest store around. We bit the bullet and purchased two sweaters and hope that will be enough for now.
Got to the Doctor’s Office before nine and we were guided through a group of people to a private office and we were the first people there. We were greeted by a woman wearing a very short dress and I really didn’t mind except it was a place of business and not proper attire. Plus she was wearing clothes you’d expect a woman younger than her to wear. She needs to update her wardrobe.
The Doctor came in and we went into the examination room he talk to Teri and I for a moment, then he talked to the girls and he then asked one of them to undress. That was when I got the look that I will have to get used to. It said go,Pappa, I don’t want you to be here. So I left. I did get a rundown from Teri afterwards. Both have flat feet, we have to watch Elena’s TB spot and they need glasses, Dentist and one other doctor I don’t remember.
We Left the Doctor’s and went to McDonalds for an early lunch. I was waiting for Anatoly to park the car to order. Teri said she was in disparate need of a coffee and I said that I could order one. Coffee in Russian is Coffee, easy. Just fake all questions. I get on line, when it’s my turn I say coffee, pajalessta. The guy behind the counter says anything else? I'm dumbstruck and not prepared to do an order and I am a little surprised so I say no. I take the coffee back to Teri and get an order and go back.

The food was MacDonald’s and it was nice to have something familiar after all of the mystery foods that I have eaten lately. Nastia again refuses to eat her meal, this time it was a fish sandwich. We are at the point that if she doesn’t eat she gets nothing else until the next meal. We took some pictures and left. Anatoly had to take care of CJ and Fran (their day at the embassy) so we were on our own. We were going to try the metro on our own, but we went back to the rooms and took a nap. Mostly the reason we took a nap was because Nastia was bad and we sent her to bed. It turns out it was a much needed nap everyone except Teri slept for a few hours.
We went to eat at a buffet at another hotel and it was not bad. The food was a little cold and that seems to be a Russian typical. There is no ice to make drinks colder and a lot of the things you buy from coolers are just slightly cold. At the buffet I bought two bottles of beer. I saw the display on the cashier’s desk and I asked for two. I figured I’d get two from a cooler; nope I got the two on the counter. Trying to not be the ugly American I took them and left.
We went back to the room, CJ came over and we sat around and talked about things and drank some cold beer we had. He talked about some people he knew who were doing a bike trip across Russia. It sounded fun but I would never want to do it.

Join the circus, like you wanted to when you were a kid* 09-27-09

Join the circus, like you wanted to when you were a kid* 09-27-09
* Jim Dale from Barnum the musical
And going to see all those Broadway shows finally pays off, isn’t it a wonderful life Jimmy Stewart.
Monday was a nonevent day. We didn’t get moving very fast and when we were moving we went nowhere.
The previous night the hotel was filled with guests and the vast majorities were athletes. I walked around the hotel looking for some soda because I was in need. Caffeine headaches are not fun. I was tired and it seemed too much trouble to go through the language barrier to get what I wanted so I just went back to the room. I paid for it the next morning.
We had two hungry kids and I had a headache. We went down stairs at 7am to catch the opening of the breakfast buffet, we had waited several hours. I don’t know what time it opened, the sign said 7am last night, but the place was busy and very full at a few minutes after seven. It was twelve dollars per and it was a pretty good buffet. Being a nonamerican buffet they had no soda. I had cranberry juice which has no caffeine in it. Teri had a coffee. The buffet was good. It had a lot of things that Nastia would eat. Peppers, eggs, lettuce, tomatoes, and lots of stuff Elena would eat. Teri and I enjoyed it too. The Russian pastries as I’ve said before are not as sweet as American and are a little disappointing.
After breakfast we tried to get a hold of CJ and Fran, but we waited too long. It was chilly and we had no coats for the girls and we were short on clothes that fit the girls so we went to an outlet mall to get some clothes for the girls. We ended up at Gloria Jeans, I don’t know if they have them in America, but the mall was just like an American mall, just smaller. We spent about two hundred dollars on about six outfits and I took the girls outside while Teri checked out. The girls weren’t cooperating and a security guard came by and told them quit climbing on the rails and act good. We then went up stairs to see if there was anywhere to eat and while looking the girls were climbing on the rails again and again a security guard came over and told them to quit climbing on the rails and act good. Where was I during all this you might ask? I kept telling them to quit climbing on the rails and act good. I think the guards noticed the trouble I was having with them and came over. They weren’t out of control; they were just not listening as quickly as I wanted. Does that sound credible? I really did have them under control. They like and respect me. Really, they do, really!
We went to eat lunch after that and on the third floor of the mall there is a food court. They had a KFC, an Uncle Sam’s café and two other places that didn’t interest us (Teri and I). We decided to eat at Uncle Sam’s and have a pizza, French fries and soda. We start ordering in Russian (a word or two in Russian and lots of pointing) to a girl. A guy takes over after we have ordered the pizza and he slips in a word of English and Teri goes you speak English? He smiles and says yes he does and that he’s has not been to American, but would like to go. Teri says that if he is wording here we are coming here for every meal he is working. He only works weekends. So we ate lunch, it was ok, and haven’t been back.
English is very often spoken here in Moscow; it seems the exception when it is not. The only think I really hate is not being able to read the signs and the memos and street signs. I feel like a functioning illiterate. It can make you feel real dumb sometimes.
After the lunch and shopping we tried CJ and Fran and they still weren’t back and we were going to try to go the zoo, but I didn’t feel confident we could get there. We ended up staying in the room We seem to be getting up a like 3am, 4am, sometime as late as 5am. This may sound like it is not a bad thing, but come early afternoon you get tired really quickly and so we all went to the room. CJ and Fran called and said they were going to the Moscow Circus and we sort of invited ourselves and without tickets CJ and Fran introduced us to the Moscow Metro. It is beautiful, mostly easy to use and has a few surprises, like the escalators (they are fast and steep).
We get on a train down the street from the hotel, past a little hot dog stand that looks like its name is crap dog. Several stops later we get off and switch to another train, and arrive at the circus. During the ride over to the circus CJ tells me about the metro and how to use it we are going to try and use it tomorrow and go to red square and or The Hard Rock Café.
On the way to the circus there are several aisles of vendors. CJ and I split off from the others to get Teri, Nastia, Elena and I tickets, on the way there we stop at a vendor and get this potato thing, which is good and eat it on the way to get the tickets. I comment to CJ that if this was the city I would never buy something from a vendor like I have been doing here. He replies that he just wants to know if it walks or flies. I add creeps (as in Mice and Rats). We meet at an agreed spot and have a flour tortilla filled with chicken, ketchup, mayonnaise, peppers and other assorted items and again it was good.
At the Moscow circus, it is a small building maybe half the size of Madison square garden and the like. We go inside and of course a bathroom break is needed. The show starts and we have to hustle to get to our seats and we miss a little of the start. It’s a lot pageant and light show with some amazing feats of strength.
The first act is a dog act and it was very good, next the clowns, a man and a women who entertained while the next act set up. It was different from circuses of old. Here there were lots of pageant, lots of beautiful women with little clothing on at sometimes and a dazzling light show.
During all this enjoyment, we had two suddenly sleepy girls on our hands. One tried to crawl into my arms and sleep. Failing to get comfortable she chose to sleep next to me. The other one, Elena has to go to the bathroom and when she gets back she too wants to fall asleep. She starts in my arms, tries to stretch out over two seats in my arm, then use my coat as a pillow, next she slides under an arm rest and finally she stretches her legs under a third seat, kicking and awakening her sister. I am not exagerateing when I say the minute she got comfortable the house lights go up and people get up and start moving around. Mind you I didn’t say leave. Teri and I are tired and the kids are asleep already, we figure we will try and find CJ, Fran and their son Max to convince them to leave. I look around for them and see them in the mirrored wall talking to Teri and the girls. They are ready to go even of it is only intermission. So we all get out of there having had an enjoyable evening even if we only saw half the show.
The Metro home was enjoyable and an easy trip. Teri played flip the invisible coin with the girls and everyone got involved. We got home around ten and went to bed and I think we got up again around five or so.

It’s the trip, the best part it’s the trip.* 09-26-09

It’s the trip, the best part it’s the trip.* 09-26-09
*Jim Morrison and the Doors -Soft parade I think
Oh shut the %@c& up! God I have not wanted someone to kill more than I ever have on that almost eight hour plane trip. And we are only half way home. It didn’t seem this long when we were going in the other direction. To make matters worse again I don’t know what time it is. My body told me it was two in the morning and I was starting to see double, but the sun was still up in the air. We tried to get the girls to go to bed and they didn’t want to. They finally crashed at about 3am Sunday Birobidzan time (I found out Birobidzan is spelt that way. I was spelling it wrong.) Moscow time 7pm Saturday, New York time 11am Saturday.
I don’t want to be too harsh on my observations of the girls it was an eight hour trip that needed a three hour car ride to get started, oh and there was an hour and a half sitting in the airport, so it was a long day and they really didn’t act that bad when you take it all in perspective.
We got up about 7am in Birobidzan. Our car was coming at 9am. I dressed and took the girls to the market to buy something to eat and maybe get them a jacket or two if I could find them. The market was just opening and people were just putting out their wares. It was cold and none of the jacket places open so I bought some bananas and some grapes for the girls. We went to the bakery to get something more to eat and they didn’t have anything that looked tasty. Russian’s are not into very sweet pastries like Americans. On the way to the room the girls ate two bananas and started on the grapes. In the room they ate the other two bananas. I took the girls back down with the luggage while Teri finished up her makeup. Our car and Yulila arrived on time and shortly after that Teri came down stairs and into the Mitsubishi something or other (an interesting 4wheel drive van type vehicle with folding seats. It’s not sold in America as far as I know and I also didn’t get pictures.) for our trip.
Pass some places that had become familiar landmarks and then a left out of town and nothing but trees and farms.
After an hour or so we stopped in front of a house and were asked if we wanted potato croquette like things about four or so inches long and still warm. They were pretty good. After this the girls asked how much longer, Teri caught it without a translator. A little while later it was time to take a pee break. We pulled off the road in front of a building that looked closed. Our driver told us we could go here so the girls and I get out and walk toward the building. Our Driver says something and points toward the side of the building and we walk ( I carried Nastia, suddenly she was too girlie to walk through weeds) toward it and from around the corner I see a small wooden building and except for lacking the quarter moons in the doors I was sure what was coming. It was a two door model and it was in need of some repair. The doors either didn’t stay closed (the left) or didn’t want to open (the right). I would like to call this outhouse a two seat model but there were no seats, just a rectangle in each floor with metal rails running parallel to the hole. I was scared someone would fall in. Teri didn’t even get out of the car. When I got back I told her she would have not survived the experience. Fate had a trick up her sleeve for Teri later. I didn’t know at the time but this was the end of the really great behavior by the girls. The girls started to get more restless. We had expected them to start acting up as the trip progressed either from stress of leaving or from boredom. At the airport our first support left us, our driver who had been very patient with the girls and friendly. When we went through the metal detectors our final support left when Yulila said good bye.
Inside the airport the girls were antsy and we tried to distract them with gum, then coloring books, then blank sheets of paper to write on and finally we gave in and let them eat the crab potato chips Teri was saving for her father. They were being pigs and were getting carried away with eating the chips when Nastia pulled away from Elena and the bag ripped already down the side sprayed the remaining contents across the floor towards me sitting across from them. Nastia went down on her knees; I thought to clean up the mess. Elena joined her. While Elena helped me clean it up, Nastia continued to eat the chips. She had to be pulled away from the chips. She thought it was funny to continue eating the chips. Blessedly the plane was called not long after that I thought. It was not a blessing really.
Have you ever watched the horror film the evil dead? Doesn’t matter, in it our hero has to battle the forces of evil until the sun comes up. When he succeeds and the sun comes up, you think it is over and there is a short period of calm, then suddenly everything changes when the evil spirits speed up time and make it sun down again and it all starts again. Well that describes or day to a tee. The evil spirits take a break until the plane is in the air and there is no going back. One has to go to the bathroom, so does the other. I don’t trust them in the bathroom together, so they have to go separately. They are not interested in coloring books, blank sheets of paper, their magna-doodle and to top it off the headphone jack doesn’t work well for Nastia and mine not at all. Teri’s worked and I think Elena’s was ok. The first feature is some Russian cartoons that the girls know well and watch for several seconds. After that it’s koopotza time (bathroom). They went about a dozen times during the flight and it was only an eight hour flight. I know I fed them grapes and maybe that got things going inside, but I also gave them bananas and that should have counteracted the grapes and on the car ride they had cheese. I know some of the trips to the bathroom at the end of the flight were bogus, but I’ll get into that in a minute. At one point early in the flight Nastia makes friends with the two women behind her and tell them she is going to America and has been adopted by the Americans and they don’t understand us too well. She makes friends with someone across the aisle who was reading a magazine about airplanes through history, it looked interesting. And finally she made friends with the stewardesses, all of them. She would call them by name and she even hung out with them in the back of the plane, which by this point was a blessing. She stayed with them for about half an hour and only came back when they started serving food again. I didn’t not let her go back with them because they were working, so she said she had to go to the bathroom and I’d been accompanying her there, this time I let her go ahead of me and she heads for the bathroom, hangs a turn at them, goes around and down the other aisle to the back of the plane. I follow her there and I am fuming. I don’t like being lied to like that. I grab her arm and take her back to her seat and she is stuck there for the rest of the flight. I’d like to think I’d let her go back to the end of the plane after the stewardesses had finished working, I’d know. When the plane landed both Teri and I were on the verge of killing something. So we bit into each other, or at least I did. I don’t remember what it was about or if I gave the first snotty remark or the second or even just imagined the tone. It was like a nuclear war, just quiet. It was quick like a summer rain and when the sun came back out you had two grumpy people instead of a bunch of flowers reaching for the sun.
We are met at the gate by Anatoly, which was god sent. We divide up the bags and head for the car. Now the girls are wired still and Teri and I are still pissed at each other, but we’re trying to work it out. Repeatedly the girls are warned about consequence for acting up in the car. I swat Elena and tell her spot, which is bed. We get to the hotel and have to fill out papers for embassy. The first thing we do is put Elena to bed, the second thing we do is start to work on the paperwork. It is five or six at night in Moscow and I may have said this before, I’m writing this over three days, it is 2am in the morning in Birobidzan. Elena is fighting every inch of the way to get out of bed. Nastia is on her bed it is relaxing and quiet. Elena is on my bed and inching off it, rolling over toward Nastia to tell her a joke. I tell her to be quiet, to turn over and face away for Nastia. Finally I turn her over and swat her on the backside. She gets angry, turns over, if only for a moment, pulls the cover over her head and for a little while we have silence to finish the paperwork, which is good, because letters and numbers are starting not to make much sense and I need sleep. Which I get soon afterwards, we decide to be bad parents or maybe its smart parents and not wake the girls to go to dinner and we all go to bed.
Next morning I wake up at 3am, Moscow time, 11am Birobidzan time.

Moving into the Homestretch 09-25-09

On line at the Pit Stop

It is 9:24 pm; Teri is trying to put the girls to bed after they insisted on taking a shower. Yes they got more water and the water was hot, on the floor then on them. I offered to take over so she wouldn’t get overwhelmed like I sometimes feel, but she said no.
A long day started early this morning when the alarm went off at 7:30. We had gotten to bed late last night. It was a little alcohol and some talking and suddenly it was 1am. I woke up at 4am and couldn’t go back to sleep so I went into the living room and laid down on the pull down couch. I did manage to get back to sleep about an hour later.
Yulila was to pick us up at 10:45 so we wanted to get out to the market early and get a few more things for the girl’s party. We picked up some more chocolate, looked at some fruit, picked up some more bubbles and some nice hair ribbons for the older girls at the party (older meaning 12,13and maybe 14). It was a successful trip and I even traded in some dollars for Rubles.
Yulila picked us up a little late and we went over to the bank to cash in the girls savings accounts. It took over an hour to do three accounts at two different banks. You get on line, or in the Russian way or so it seems you cut in line to the front and get service. Yea, I’m overstated what happened except for us. We always seemed to go to the front of the line. It might be Nadashda’s at work again. After the bank we went back to the Hotel and met Nadashda’s where she gave us all our paper work for Moscow.
We were running very late for the party. It was 2:30 and it was to a have started at 2:00. We still had to pick up the cake and some juice. Yulila called and it was rescheduled for 4pm. We hadn’t eaten yet today and had hopes for a quick bit which didn’t happen. We got to the Orphanage at 3:30 and waited for 4pm.
At 4, we went to the lunch room and they had cut the watermelon and some peaches up. I was supposed to cut the cake and service it after they had their snack, which I did, with the help of Teri and Nastia.
They had a little ceremony where a few kids got up to say something and I think it was basically good luck and we will miss you.
After that there was a little dancing and in less than two hours it was over and suddenly we are getting ready to leave. On the way out a young boy was hiding behind a curtain and I noticed something wrong and I called Yulila back so she could ask him what was wrong? I thought he was upset because the girls were leaving or maybe he was sorry that he didn’t have parents taking him out of this place. It never occurred to me that I might not be to help him with his problem until Yulila had started talking to him. It turned out it was fixable, but a little sadder then what I thought. We had given out toy trucks to every boy who came to the party, girls got dolls and someone had taken his, by mistake or on purpose I don’t but this kid who had nothing had lost his gift, a dumb little truck that cost 40 rubles (about a buck ten). Luck was with us that day because we had one extra truck left over and we gave it to him and I even gave him an extra candy bar. I hope he felt as good as I did.
We next went into the office of the director and signed paperwork saying that we have received all our paperwork and we are going to take the girls out of the Orphanage and bring them to America and I think it said put them in school.
The last thing I was asked to leave the room for. All the clothes the girls were wearing were removed and clothes we bought with us were given to them. Waste nothing, and then we left. It started to really sink in again on the ride home while the girls are starting to act up that we are the proud new owners of two young girls and will remain forever.
It was late and Yulila had worked a long day too so we sent her home figuring we could chance Smock with its pigeon English menu. So they pull out and we walk over to the restaurant and it is having a private party until about 8pm. So we says Ok, let’s go to the Chinese restaurant with the picture menu in the Hotel. We get there and they are having a private party. If we had thought about it there are three or more Chinese restaurants with picture menus.
At that point Teri said “I guess you know what this means? It means we’re going to Pit Stop.” Yes we are tired of the food, but when we went in there several people smiled at us and we could just point at what we wanted and say one or two or whatever and we were comfortable and the girls ate everything they ordered and didn’t ask to play air hockey, which I would have said yes to. It was a nice way to end our Birobadijan adventure. If this had been an adventure story in the background the sun would be setting in brilliant reds and oranges behind big white puffy clouds and you’d know our intrepid adventurers would be save until their next adventure.
Well kiddies this ain’t Hollywood and we still had to put two sugar hyped kids to bed and considering everything that happened today it went real well, The girls took showers and at first were in the same bed and when that didn’t work we separated them and Teri laid down with Elena. When Nastia saw she wanted me to lay down with her and it looked like it was going to work when Teri got up to use the bathroom and I thought that they were quiet enough to be back together. Again at first it worked and then you could feel it begin to build. They started whispering and then a little more and then a little more, then came the kisses good night. First once then twice then everyone had to get kissed on the forehead and then it started over and that was when we separated them again. This time it stuck and we just put them back in the bed together. A strange thing happened when I picked Elena up to bring her to the other bed she grabbed on to the other side of the bed. I wonder what that is about.
Tomorrow, I will be reporting from Moscow, eight hours earlier then tonight. So don’t touch that dial. See you all in Moscow.
In the coming days look for pictures of us in Red square and in front of the Kremlin, can you really believe it? I’m going and I can’t!

T minus 2 days and counting….09-24-09

It’s starting to get down to the wire. We are packing our bags, looking under all the furniture to see if we left anything under it that we would not miss until we were half way across the Atlantic. We’re checking our bags ready to go…I think that’s another old song.
We shopped in the open air market today, bought some candy, some small toys, bubbles and then we ask Nastia’s and Elena’s caregivers for an accurate account and if the girls want to invite anyone extra for another group. Our number was fifteen this morning and tonight it is more like nineteen. Not too bad but we have to go out and get a few more items for the party and I hope the cake is big enough.
The State gives each Orphan some money that is kept in an account for them and at sometime in the future they are to receive the money. I guess it’s when they leave the Orphanage. Since we have received ownership right to the girls we’re legal owners of the money. We knew about the money in advance so it was not a total surprise, though the amount was. Yulila said and I stopped her, I then realize it is in Rubles, not dollars. It is still a sizeable chunk of change. Figuring 30 rubles to the dollar it comes to around…nine thousand dollars. (The total was just over that when a third account was added) When You look at all the kids in the Orphanage and you think about what you have at home and yes you are broke at this point, it is still not hard to tell the director a very fine women named Nina that we met in America in July and we took her and her group to dinner with Howard and Marty and had a real good time. Anyway it was not hard to tell the director that we were going to give the money to the Orphanage. I tried to explain that we did not want our names associated with the money because we did not want to pay taxes on it in America, but I think she did not understand. I hope it goes to good use.
We went to Fast Food today for lunch and we were going to go to an indoor pool but one of the caregivers said that one of the girls had a runny nose and we didn’t want to look like bad parents so we said we would not take them swimming. So after Fast Food,( we went there before and the burgers were made out of pork or some mystery meat, thought you left them behind in school didn’t you?) so I ordered sausages (hot dogs sans buns) for the girls and myself and Teri had chicken and we all had fries. It was better than the first time there, but I think we will not go there for a long while. Hey, when you are leaving in less than 48 hours and you’ve got Pit Stop who needs Fast food.
While at Fast Food I got to watch several Bugs Bunny cartoons. One you don’t see in the states often is Bugs Nips the Nips. Politically incorrect I guess. Nothing blows your mind more than Bugs speaking Russian like he’s been doing it all his life.
After that great hour, we went over to the room and watched a couple of videos we purchased for the girls. I had to bring in the computer to make sure they worked and about five in the afternoon we dropped off the girls and then we went back to the passport office to get the girls passports. Nadashda’s influence got us in and out quickly, but the apartments were still too expensive.
We ate dinner in Smock; I keep wanting to call it smuck. The food is good and the menu is sort of in English. It’s like those Chinese road signs that someone who knows English has translated, but they really don’t understand the nuances of the language. Well Smock should be complimented for the effort because it is easier to order there than anywhere else, even easier than the Chinese restaurant with the picture menu.
An example of a dish is: A Ham with pork, a tomato, a Cedar nut, an onion. It was good, had it twice.
Teri complimented herself on ordering dinner for us at Smock and I was very pleased when two glasses of beer showed up. I didn’t know she cared that much. She is such a good and caring wife.
Our bags are packed and we’re ready to go, we’re standing here just waiting to go. I hate to wake you up to say good bye; we’re leaving on a Jet plane. Come on and lets all sing it together. We’re leaving on a jet plane don’t know when (or if) we’ll be back again…….

And nobody does it better, makes me sad for the rest and nobody does it half….09-23-09.

Yes tonight or today where ever you are reading this it is a James Bond theme. Not any of the recent ones mostly the last one who looks more like he is Russian then English. So yes our theme is James Bond and the mystery of who turned off the hot water? It is now day two and Teri and I have volunteered to help find the pilot light in the hot water plant that someone either blew out or got wet during the rain. Either way Teri took an improved shower this morning. The improved version is entitled ‘the two liter bottle and hot pot shower. It is simple in its brilliance and you can get your entire body wet not just the arms and legs and the stinky spots. I will try one tonight.
Today we ordered the cake for the party and it will be a three gram size cake, I think. Yuluia originally said it should be five and the cake place lady said for a party of about 20-25 kids, three, three and a half should be enough. For some reason we never asked the girls what they wanted for a going away party and it was a good idea we did because they had very definite ideas of what they wanted. First they wanted cake with five levels. I think they wanted a five layer cake. We got a two layer cake with strawberry filling. We will also have fruit, most likely water melon. They didn’t ask for ice cream which surprised me. They did ask for gifts that we thought they wanted for themselves but they want to give them out to everyone. They said there were eight boys and five girls plus the two of them to make a total of fifteen.
Again we went to Pit Stop and again Elena got too much food and again they got no fruit and they got to play a couple of games of air hockey and mostly everything is getting a little easier. Nastia forgot her glasses and she and I went back and checked the table. They were gone, we went to the cashier, they saw us and reached behind her and produced the glasses. We also got a ten percent discount card yesterday. Got to use it today.
The circus is in town and it starts tomorrow and we were thinking of taking them to it on Friday after their going away party, but maybe not it might be too much.
CJ and Fran got Max today and he is a bundle of no sit still. The five of us went to dinner together and considering everything it went well. Max squirmed but he ate and CJ and Fran mostly ate it worked. Tomorrow they leave and we are on our own. It will be interesting.
After a slow start and a couple of mistakes I am using Russian a little more and I am surprised at how much I can do when I add a few hand signals and watch.
We talked to the girls about the trip to Moscow again and their only question was “How will they understand us?”
Teri replied, “How will they understand us?”
One week and we are home. Three days until Moscow. Tomorrow maybe we’ll do something different like, you guessed it an Art Gallery.

Instant Coffee and Sock Baths, what a world! 09-22-09

Grain silos near orphanage

Hello again from the far east, America. First thing first. If you all sign up with Skype and e-mail us and tell us your skype number or better yet while on skype look for eymuller@optonline.net there will be two numbers, one home and the other the laptop. You can call us and better yet if you have a camera ($20.00 Microsoft) at Target we can video call and it is for free as long as you go computer to computer. I tried this once in the dark ages and got a camera and my buddy and I did video calls and it was a pain. The new camera’s are smaller and don’t need to be programmed. It’s really great stuff.
Now it is time for the new game show called what third world event happened to Joe and Teri today. You guess the question after I give the answer. Ready go there is no hot water in the town. You are right, the answer is what? Next question, ready, go they pipe hot water to the entire town. You are right the answer is what? The next question is the internet net is down also are they connected. Again you are right that is a question and you can’t answer a question with a question unless you are a child talking to an Adult.
I don’t know what the problem is, but yesterday we had a rainy day and the streets flooded and we were at the Pit Stop this time it was our choice, I’ve related this story except the rain part and the fact that the girls had no hats and got soaked and we felt like poor parents. Well today there is no hot water and the internet is down. Is this our punishment? I don’t know Teri tried to shower this morning but said it was too cold so she took a sock and hot pot bath and if you don’t know what that is I will tell you. She took a hot pot that boils water and warmed some water in it, saving enough for a cup of coffee. With the difference she cleaned a pair of socks and then used them in a nonsponge type bath. It was the start of another day in paradise, except it all ready left.

interesting graffitti near Passport Office 

We spent the beginning of the day doing paperwork for the girl’s passports until about 1pm. After that we had time for lunch and time to walk around the open air market out the back of the hotel. We bought the girls grapes and just walked around the market looking at all the stalls or kiosks (Russian word, we stole from them in the eighties and it must mean small shop.) After that we went to a passport office which was in the ground floor of an old soviet housing complex. It is surrounded by apartments and is over near the massive grain silos that are no longer used. I guess it is cheaper to import then to grow. You can see in some of the pictures I’ve taken where the land looks like it used to be fields just like upstate New York. After the passport office we went back to the square to get some copies made and then over to a government office so Teri and I could sign some papers. Then we went to pick up the girls and they still had that poor scrawny cat with his bad eyes and skin and bones personality. We hung out with the girls again at the riverside park until it was about 5pm so we could get some paperwork from another passport office which had at one time a pretty nice mosaic made out of cement on the floor. The office was filled with about 40 people and the majority are women. This town is experiencing a man shortage or all the men are in hiding. At the passport office Nadeshda’s influence came into effect for the first known time. We waited at a door with about eight people and when they were ready we went in first, pretty cool. The apartment is still not worth 100.00 a day. When we got in there a guess someone didn’t take their morning cold shower or use deodorant, enough, she was too pretty to smell that bad. I kept checking to make sure it wasn’t me. Like I said enough about that, but she really did smell, really.
We went out to dinner to the Chinese restaurant around the block and dinner was good. This is the second to last night CJ and Fran will be in town. They leave on Thursday, we leave Saturday and end up only a day behind them in Moscow, I think it’s because of the time change or maybe it’s the weekend.
It’s now time to take a cold water shower. If you do not ever hear from me again you will know I didn’t make it.

Monday, Monday, can’t trust that day, Monday, Monday sometimes it just turns out that way 09-21-09

Well, they are ours, at least in the legal sense of the word. As far as really owning them in the ‘well, I’ve given birth to you and you owe me’ sense of the word that will take a few weeks longer.
We started the legal paperwork toward making the adoption of these little angles ours today and it didn’t get as far as I would have hoped. We went to the hall of records to get the paperwork started and the copies of our passports were declared to light colored and we needed to get them taken again and I also needed a second picture of myself to give to officials, because I am the one petitioning the courts to adopt the girls. We went as far as we could today and tomorrow we will go further.
Yesterday I went on about how the girls had been conquered and how things had gone so well yesterday. Well today was the empire strikes back. It started out raining and we thought it would be nice after the paperwork if we stopped by the orphanage and picked up the girls and took them to the Pit Stop. We finished the paperwork about noon and went to pick up the girls about twelve-thirty. The Pit Stop was empty. It was after all a Monday. They played in the Maze and had lunch. We were so positive about things that we let Yulila go for two hours. Everything went well until Teri found Elena lying on the bathroom floor fooling around with her sister. They came out of the bathroom in a fit and we were out the door walking to the hotel. The hotel is only two blocks away and on a sunny day it is a pleasant walk. Today wasn’t pleasant. It was raining and windy and the home hadn’t given the girls proper clothes to wear. Elena had a suit jacket to wear and Nastia who is susceptible to the cold a winter jacket. It was raining when we started and by the time we passed the second flooded intersection the girls had walked through twice that many. We ended up giving the girls our jackets, which didn’t mean that they were staying out of the water. Their feet were soaked by the time we had gone two blocks. At the hotel they ate chips and Teri dried their hair. I gave them coloring books, but when I put on cartoons they were quickly forgotten. At four, our driver showed with the translator and we took the girls to the orphanage.
At dinner, we ate with Fran and CJ. We got into an intense discussion about the abuses of the program in Birobadijan, which later segwayed into a discussion about the problems of raising an orphan and how it doesn’t look anything like little orphan Annie. We took them to the orphanage around four in the afternoon. We went to the hotel and had some drinks in Fran and CJ’s room and that was where the conversation about the evening started. They best thought to come out of the evening was by Fran when she talked about how your new child will challenge you and how you have to remember they are nothing like your birth child. They come with baggage that will challenge you.

Sunday recap 09-20-09

I just realized I wrote about Saturday twice, so I guess I really am repeating what we are doing over here. Well read both of them anyway I found them both interesting to read and a little repetitive. The story in the second one about Yulila is interesting and I did leave that out from the day that it happened about three days ago. I have been leaving out the dinner portion of our day because we go out to dinner with CJ and Fran and have mostly very good meals and relax and talk about the girls and their second son Max, who is coming up a little short when he uses the bathroom. That is bad enough, but he sometimes needs to change after he is done. He is about six years old and most kid out of the orphanage are mentally and emotionally few years behind. I don’t know if that is his problem or no one ever told him to clear the chamber after firing his weapon.
Today we told the girls that if they were good and ate everything they ordered from the Pit stop and were good today we would give them fruit. Nastia must have called a meeting last night because both of them were on the same page today. They both ordered less food and basically finished it and they were mostly good. We got them ice cream (Baskin Robins) after the Pit Stop and when we were at the park they acted pretty well and we gave them a little more space. So at the end of the day they got Fruit. Nastia wanted peaches and Elena wanted grapes, we did enie, meany, miney, moe and with two people just like on Seinfeld the one you start with is the one you end with. I still don’t know if that one is the loser or the winner. Well we got peaches and I threw in a few grapes for the two of them.
The day ended with Teri and I eating at the Hotel restaurant and it was a quick quiet dinner. CJ and Fran went to Kharabosky for the day.
Tomorrow and Tuesday, we will most likely not be able to see the girls because we will be tied up with paperwork. They become ours Tuesday and after that if we want we can keep them over night. What we plan to do is let them stay at the Orphanage until after their going away party on Thursday night and then take them to the hotel and leave I think on Friday for the Kharabosky airport and Moscow.
I got to see ESPN for a little while today in the Hotel, it was in English and they were doing a recap show. When I tuned in later the football game was in Russian.

What Happened Saturday 09-19-09

Tell me if you’ve heard this one before, we picked up the girls at noon and went to the Pit Stop. We promised the girls we would get them fruit if they ate everything they ordered and were good. Again stop me if you’ve heard this one.
Well let’s put it this way, Nastia ordered only potatoes and a dessert. Elena ordered potatoes, a schnitzel, and a salad (yes it had mayonnaise in it) and a dessert. The final outcome as you might of guessed was Nastia finished her meal and Elena didn’t. At this point team work came into play and we did not mind. Nastia offered to finish Elena’s salad and Elena finished her dessert. The plan was working to perfection until they realized it was only three thirty and they had over an hour to try and act good. It went well until about quarter to five when Nastia and then Elena started to walk around the raised fountain base and would not come when they were called. It was such a valiant effort and failed only in the home stretch. If they could of resisted the temptation to run around the fountain they would of won what was behind door number two fifteen almost ripe bananas. Instead they will go home with a home version of Listen to your Momma, and thank you for playing today.Saturday weekend is here and we’ve done this all before 09-19-09
Saturday is a repeat of another day which is a repeat of another day. We wanted to do something different, but we didn’t. We went to the Pit Stop and the river side walks. It has gotten to the point that we don’t know what to do with the girls and our translator who is twenty-three has little or no idea what to do with the kids. She is a nice person, her name is Yulila. She is 5 and change feet tall depending on her heals. I saw pictures of her and the other translators in their winter heals and they were several inches tall then they are now. She has been living with her boyfriend for about seven years ever since she was seventeen. She learned to speak English and Chinese at the University and was recruited by Nadezda while at school. Nadezda runs the local branch of Bridge of hope and get stuff done here in Birobadijan. Yulila tutors children when she is not shepherding around Americans. CJ and I asked her questions while waiting for pizza at the pizza joint. CJ asked if Americans ask too many questions and her answer was yes and his reply was that is how we learn which I think shows a little difference between American and Russia.
Now to the important stuff, the pizza. It did not come with cheese only and it came in only one size, medium. It tasted a little like Momma Celeste frozen pizza. The toppings were interesting. The closest thing to plain cheese was bacon, a very smoked type of bacon cut in very thin strips and it was ok. Stuck in Russia and looking for something American it was pretty good. The other pies had other stuff on them like chicken and tomatoes and stuff like that and I’ve eaten stuff and enjoyed it that I would not of eaten at home and may not when I get back. There is a lot of good beer here.
Back to the girls, we were at the Pit stop and they misbehaved and we told them if they eat all the food they order they get fruit at the end of the day and they almost made it. We were at the riverside park and we gave them pickles for a treat (They want pickles and fruit and are willing to try and act good for it how bad can these kids be). They finished the pickles and went back to chasing pigeons when they began runnug off and walking around the fountain rim so we didn’t give them fruit. Maybe tomorrow.


 
 

Wednesday I think, no it’s Thursday. 09-17-09

Time has started to have little meaning here for me. I get up in the morning and I know want my day will be like. It has started to become like a job. I get up in the morning, I lay in bed, I can’t listen to the radio, I get ready for the coming day which will consist of picking up the kids at about noon going to lunch either at the Pit Stop which is safe and I know the girls will have space to get a little out there. Or try somewhere else that has no safety net and see what happens. Sometimes like the bowling alley lunch it is not a train wreck and other times, hey wait a minute I haven’t had a train wreck yet even though I have expected it to happen every day. That’s a good thing, I guess you have to take a step back and look at the reality of things and not what your expectations are.

We did end up at the Pit Stop yesterday and if I didn’t explain before it is a cafeteria style place that you go get a tray and go past prepared food and go sit down and eat it.

The big attraction for the girls is the maze like place with the slide and the different levels. It keeps them busy and gives Teri and I time to just sit and relax. The girls have some much energy. You sometimes have to watch the entrance of the maze because one or the other will go out and hang around the air hockey table or the kid ride, you know the one you put a quarter (5 rubles) in, maybe now it’s more than a quarter, anyway it goes back and forth and it has whistles and stuff. It’s meant for younger kids but the two of them are emotionally younger than their age, so they get a kick out of it.

We let the translator go for a while. It’s really boring to sit and watch them play.

Today we told her to go and come back about 3:15; we figured we could handle things for several, two hours without her. Everything seemed to be going very well. Teri started teaching the girls their new last name and address. And when they did well, she gave them a coin. Once they got 5 rubles they would rush off to the little ride and do it. Everything was going well, and yes I am building up to a little problem.

The Maze at Pit Stop

I was working with Elena and when she said her new last name right I gave her a coin. As a joke when she said it wrong I asked for a coin back. She got all upset gave me all her coins and went to sulk in the maze. I later found out that what I stumbled over besides the language, is their self worth and the view that Teri and I are just the latest in a line of care givers and that there will be more after us. All adopted kids have serious attachment issues and a huge problem with their behavior is that.

Their acting out, telling jokes and laughing too hard at them are the most obvious signs I have noticed their problem of being in a new environment. The other one I stumbled over today is I’m sure related to attachment and self worth.
No one ever said it was going to be a walk in the park adopting. I hope we are up to it. Last year I talked with their coach from gymnastics camp and he went down a list of problems he had noticed they had. He started with the fact they cursed like truck drivers, how they had no concept of mother and father and called everyone that. He went down a list of several items and said he had a friend who had to quit her job to take care of her child and would we like her number. This was shortly after the Masha, nutcase incident and I was very sensitive to any new people being invited into our little group.
If you don’t know the Masha story, it happened last summer and is in the blog. A short version, she was a friend of a friend and I called her to have her talk to Elena and she is an independent filmmaker. I don’t if that means she runs around with a little Cannon camcorder or she has a big camera that she can edit in a studio. She deduces that Elena is severely depressed and we must bring her to the Russian church on Sunday and she then proceeds to insult me for twenty minutes about non Russians raising Russians. That’s the short version.
I’ve gotten off of the subject which I will pick up again. It is looking like the central issue in their lives, self worth and attachment.
After we left the Pit Stop we went to the Hotel room and watched some cartoons. I got my picture taken for something to do with the girl’s passports. It was either Teri or I and I said I would do it.
After the Hotel we took the girls back to the Orphanage. We then met CJ and Fran swapped stories about our adoptive kids over drinks in the room and later at dinner. We ate down stairs in the hotel and had Chinese food. Not that the restaurant is a Chinese food place, it had a separate menu of Chinese food and the waitress had to call over the Chinese waitress so we could order our food. We then had to go to the bar to order drinks. It sure is a different country then America.

Wednesday and You have alot of reading to do

Wednesday and you got a lot to read
I’ve downloaded to the blog everything that I’ve written since leaving the Atlanta hotel in Moscow. I know I’ve given you guy’s a lot to catch up on so what I’ll do is summarize.
We landed in Kharabosky, took a three hour car trip to Birobadijan. About ten minutes outside of town we are stopped at a railroad crossing because a train has broken down and the crossing is blocked. Here we met our new best friends the Jewish Autonomous region mosquitoes. They are big, they are mean and they are blood thirsty and hungry. We are ok sitting in our original spot on line. Our driver sees a spot closer to the crossing and moves up. When he stops we find out why the previous driver left. After twenty minutes of playing how many flies can you swat we move on. The train was still broken, but someone gave the ok to open the gate, and off we fly (hey, I made a joke).
We get to town and turn into this apartment complex and if you want to read about it go to the post, I was a little harsh on it and it did catch us both by surprise. We weren’t expecting it and when we went inside the apartment which is nice, didn’t thrill us because of the outside. We found out later that the town owns the outside and the tenants own the apartments. If someone wants to upgrade the outside they ask the town or do it themselves. Or they can form tenant associations and do it through the associations.
Inside the Apartment, a fourth floor walk up is the person who takes care of the adoptions and assigns us drivers and translators. We take care of a little business and she gives us a tour of the apartment.
On Wednesday, We meet the girls for the first time in 13 months. They were told we were coming and were prepared and met us in the director’s office. The girls for one reason or another were taken out of school so we have access to them at anytime we want. We spent several hours at the orphanage and let the kids have our cameras and they took several hundred pictures of everyone and we have kept the majority. While there and on every successive visit we fall in love with another kid and want to take them home. If any of you intrepid travelers are feeling your home is a little empty and your bank account a little to full let me know and I will solve both problems quickly. There is loads of kid waiting for loving homes here. What awaits them after they turn 18 or 19 I really don’t want to think about.
On Thursday, I put on my finest duds and go to court prepared to make my case for adopting the girls. I do my introduction and the judge asks questions, calls in the girls, asks questions of the older one, Nastia. She then proceeds to ask my wife questions and then she goes and considers her decision. About half an hour later she comes back tells us they are our children and we have ten days to appeal the decision and then it will be final. Did she know something we didn’t?
Friday, I have my melt down. Howard and Marty told us to expect your child to reach a point that everything that he or she has been thinking about suddenly becomes a reality in their mind and they go a little crazy.
Nobody told me it was going to happen to me. Well it did and I didn’t realize it until I reread some of what I wrote. I don’t really know what to say about it beyond if I insulted anyone, I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to publish it but I did.
Saturday was a better day, we spent time with the kids at the music festival (which they did not like) and walking the riverside park (they did like). It was less of a disaster then the day before.
Sunday dinner in Russia, has a nice warm sound to it. Dinner was fun. Good food, good people, good beer. I just reread the post and the day was rough on us and the girls. We have a long road ahead of us and I am very concerned. We will need all the help we can get so please don’t hesitate to ask and if we say no, ask again later. We will need it.
This past Monday, will sound like a mixture of the previous days. We are running out of places to take the girls. We were at the River walk, because we found out the underground playground is closed and we don’t want to chance bowling with the energizer bunnies. We encouraged the girls to run and Elena covered about a mile before she stopped. I think I see an athlete on our team. Nastia is going to be the actress, every time she sees a camera she poses. She will also do impromptu songs and dances.
Tuesday, if I was to tell you what we did you’d say hey are you trying to skip out on writing your blog? You’ve don’t that before at least twice and you’ve had that same fight several times with your wife. At least think up some new lies to tell. Yeah, we went to the pit stop, spent the day there, because it was raining. Had a fight with Nastia, she wanted money, ice cream, more food and Elena wanted the same (Fleas, Papa, fleas) we dropped them off and went out to dinner again.
Now Today Wednesday, the reason you know what is happening to us. We are finally in our hotel room. It is very nice; it is smaller than our apartment. Here are the pluses; we walked home from dinner, we made an internet phone call, hell we have internet access! A TV! (All in Russian, but don’t think it doesn’t matter).
We went to the bowling alley to have lunch with the girls. I felt it was going to be a disaster and said lets go, but we stayed and it was passable. The girls ate spaghetti and a hot dog each. Somehow we got two orders of meat pie so Teri and I ate some and Elena ate some but Nastia refused to she wanted more spaghetti. We then went to the square where the hotel is and walked around. We spent a little time in the room and then went back outside and the girls chased the pigeons (hey, I know I’m repeating myself but it’s what they did and enjoy) Tonight Teri and I went out to dinner alone and since we have both heard each other’s stories several times we ate quietly except for the occasional foods good, yeah, your right. Beer please, haven’t you had enough?