Wednesday I think, no it’s Thursday. 09-17-09

Time has started to have little meaning here for me. I get up in the morning and I know want my day will be like. It has started to become like a job. I get up in the morning, I lay in bed, I can’t listen to the radio, I get ready for the coming day which will consist of picking up the kids at about noon going to lunch either at the Pit Stop which is safe and I know the girls will have space to get a little out there. Or try somewhere else that has no safety net and see what happens. Sometimes like the bowling alley lunch it is not a train wreck and other times, hey wait a minute I haven’t had a train wreck yet even though I have expected it to happen every day. That’s a good thing, I guess you have to take a step back and look at the reality of things and not what your expectations are.

We did end up at the Pit Stop yesterday and if I didn’t explain before it is a cafeteria style place that you go get a tray and go past prepared food and go sit down and eat it.

The big attraction for the girls is the maze like place with the slide and the different levels. It keeps them busy and gives Teri and I time to just sit and relax. The girls have some much energy. You sometimes have to watch the entrance of the maze because one or the other will go out and hang around the air hockey table or the kid ride, you know the one you put a quarter (5 rubles) in, maybe now it’s more than a quarter, anyway it goes back and forth and it has whistles and stuff. It’s meant for younger kids but the two of them are emotionally younger than their age, so they get a kick out of it.

We let the translator go for a while. It’s really boring to sit and watch them play.

Today we told her to go and come back about 3:15; we figured we could handle things for several, two hours without her. Everything seemed to be going very well. Teri started teaching the girls their new last name and address. And when they did well, she gave them a coin. Once they got 5 rubles they would rush off to the little ride and do it. Everything was going well, and yes I am building up to a little problem.

The Maze at Pit Stop

I was working with Elena and when she said her new last name right I gave her a coin. As a joke when she said it wrong I asked for a coin back. She got all upset gave me all her coins and went to sulk in the maze. I later found out that what I stumbled over besides the language, is their self worth and the view that Teri and I are just the latest in a line of care givers and that there will be more after us. All adopted kids have serious attachment issues and a huge problem with their behavior is that.

Their acting out, telling jokes and laughing too hard at them are the most obvious signs I have noticed their problem of being in a new environment. The other one I stumbled over today is I’m sure related to attachment and self worth.
No one ever said it was going to be a walk in the park adopting. I hope we are up to it. Last year I talked with their coach from gymnastics camp and he went down a list of problems he had noticed they had. He started with the fact they cursed like truck drivers, how they had no concept of mother and father and called everyone that. He went down a list of several items and said he had a friend who had to quit her job to take care of her child and would we like her number. This was shortly after the Masha, nutcase incident and I was very sensitive to any new people being invited into our little group.
If you don’t know the Masha story, it happened last summer and is in the blog. A short version, she was a friend of a friend and I called her to have her talk to Elena and she is an independent filmmaker. I don’t if that means she runs around with a little Cannon camcorder or she has a big camera that she can edit in a studio. She deduces that Elena is severely depressed and we must bring her to the Russian church on Sunday and she then proceeds to insult me for twenty minutes about non Russians raising Russians. That’s the short version.
I’ve gotten off of the subject which I will pick up again. It is looking like the central issue in their lives, self worth and attachment.
After we left the Pit Stop we went to the Hotel room and watched some cartoons. I got my picture taken for something to do with the girl’s passports. It was either Teri or I and I said I would do it.
After the Hotel we took the girls back to the Orphanage. We then met CJ and Fran swapped stories about our adoptive kids over drinks in the room and later at dinner. We ate down stairs in the hotel and had Chinese food. Not that the restaurant is a Chinese food place, it had a separate menu of Chinese food and the waitress had to call over the Chinese waitress so we could order our food. We then had to go to the bar to order drinks. It sure is a different country then America.