The Laudeckero BBQ

Ever since it looked like COVID was on it's way out (and as of right now it is not mostly because of idoits like Ron DeSantis of Florida banning masks) I wanted to have a BBQ. I talked to my mom and she said yes, it would be a great idea. I asked Eric and he said let's have it between the houses on Klein, Teri liked that idea. Then Denis got sick and Eric got involved with issues with Tina, his mother in law, then Tina dies. It quickly turned into a not so happy Spring. Then it turned Summer and everyone is busy.

At the July 4th fireworks in Nanuet sometime around the 11th, it was decided that the Laudeckero's would have a BBQ. Now the Decker family and a small branch of the Laudiero several weeks before had decided to form a new family.They wanted to be seperate from others and well you know. So they formed the Laudeckero's. Plans were made.

There was to be a BBQ on the 7th and the beach was the 14th. Unfortuniately the Dutches County fair is the 24th and the girls can't take off three weekend in a row so it will be missed again this year. The vinyle chairs had been stacked for about two year up against the fence. Roots had started to grow around their sunked feet. Leaves the fall and polynoses from the spring had become homes for the many insects living between the chairs. I didn't look forward to the job of cleaning them. I'd used a once white vinyle table to put some things on earlier in the year. It looked very grim for the BBQ. The weekend before the BBQ I stuck to mowing the lawn between rain storms and going to the now open movies.

Mid-week a savior appeared. Elena decided to start to clean up the back yard. She bought a vinyle cleaner, but quickly tired of the tedious task and asked if she could buy a power washer. Teri said Grammy had one. The power washer quickened th ejob, but life interfered with her work and on the Thursday before the saturday BBQ I made my long put off appearance to work. I cleaned some chairs and the next night cleaned some more.

Come Saturday morning Elena, who'd the day off comes out to help some more. When I tell her all of the chairs have been cleaned she points at several asking if they have been cleaned. A little insulted I say yes. For all the unknowing vinyl chairs get dirty and stained by just being.When you clean them there remains a shadow from where the dirt was. Even using a power washer the shadow remains and sometimes the stain looks like it is more then just a shadow, so yes she had a point, but th echairs were going to get no cleaner. I do set her up with the power washer at the far end of the yard to clean a few of the chairs and the tent top in storage for over two years. Earlier I did dog patrol, if you know what I mean. I did a good job and it was nice for once to walk safely around in bare feet in the yard. (you know what I mean now, right?)

Nastia, Elena and I set up the frame of the tent until Elena has cleaned the top.The yard is starting to come together. I go in to take a break. It is getting toward 2 when everyone is supposed to show up. I spy the vodka and lemonade Teri has made up for the BBQ. I grab another bottle of raspberry vodka, splash some, well more then some in a glass of ice and pour some lemonade into it. This drink is always dangerous, it sneaks up on you. I sip it and everywhere I go someone asks me why I'm drinking. Teri, "you know it's early?" Nastia, "Isn't it a little early to start, can I have some?" Matt has been over since early. He came over and has been a great help. He asks if he can have some. I ask him how old is he. He is still twenty. I tell him he can have some, but not alot. He must promise me that just like the girls if he has too much to drink he will tell me and I will drive him home (well someone else will) He agrees. I don't see him drink anything. Neither do I see Elena drink anything and Nastia only a little. I don't start a second until well later. People show up a little late. They had called Teri so it was ok. I start the hot dogs and some burgers. The chicken from the crock pot is falling apart and tough to brown on the grill. The total number of people who show up on this day runs up about a dozen. We all end up sitting around the picnic table mostly leaving all those power washed chairs alone.

Elena and Matt are thinking about going in the pool. I some how get involved and Nastia comes up on the deck. And while Elena is tring to push me in the pool I think it is funny, so I push Nasita in. She is not pleased. She says it's cold. She stays in for a little while. With Matts help Elena goes in and she then starts to splash Matt and myself. Eventually I go in. I try to just relax leaning on a raft. Elena swims under the water toward me to

grab my feet. I end up grabbing her feet and she thrashes like a fish on a fishing line. She escapes and she jumps up and the deck. Her bathing suit comes down in the back a little and moons everyone in the pool. Her bathing suit is the type of suit that girls buy and wear to show off on the beach andnot get wet. I'm sure she bought it for Matt and a couple of times he got to see more then the suit was intended to show. The moon was out. Things settle down when everyone gets out of the pool. We hang out and talk until it starts to get dark and then go inside for dessert. It was a beautiful day and lots of fun. Well worth the work to clean up the yard. I hope everyone else enjoyed it too. /

It's Wednesday, but not the same Wednesday as before and Nastia goes to the beach.

By the title you must have guessed it is Wednesday. In the past both girls would be up at 7 in the morning and out the door to their boyfriend's house. Some things have changed. Elena got up early this morning and was out the door by 7:30. I asked her where she was going. She replied, "I'm going hiking with Matt." I asked where? She didn't know. I asked her to take a picture of the trail head sign so I could tell the police where to find her. I also mentioned it was going to rain. She said she knew and it was alright. Well I hope it will be. They hiked around Rockland Lake and looked for old bottles. They found a McDermott Brothers milk bottle. McDermotts got out of milk and into ice cream in the 50’s or 60’s, plus it had a lip on it for a paper cap. It was from the 40’s-60’s I thought. Nastia is still in bed. She doesn't go over to Brandon's in the mornings any more, I wonder why. Maybe he isn't getting the sleep he needs? I don't know and I guess it doesn't matter. Nastia's sort of new thing she does now or at least this year is she sleeps over her friend JJ's house. And I'm going to guess she smokes pot there when she does.

Teri is still dying at her job and even though Giacomo is back things don't seem to be too much different. That was last week. This Wednesday, Nastia is up and out, going to the beach with Brandon and some of his friends. Elena went on Monday and now Nastia is going today. She got up about 6:30 and went over to Brandons by 7. I texted her a few minutes ago (about 8:30) Her reply was, "We just finished eating. We are stopping for ice then going. They won't get to the beach before 11:30. They'll hit traffic in the Oranges and Nastia wants to be back to go bowling tonight, which means she'll have to leave the beach about 3:30, 4:00. Any later and they'll hit traffic in the Oranges again. I asked her to send pictures. They get safely down to Point Pleasant. Nastia sends a picture with her and Branden where she is making a dumb hand sign. I thought high school ended. Then she sends a picture of her and him kissing. That's a first. She said they were going to try and get back for bowling that night.I text them saying they should leave early. THey leave at a time I think will get them caught in th etraffic in the Oranges. She does make it back and at bowling that night she bowls a 172. her highest game ever. I wish I'd been there.

That night she sleeps over JJ's. We don't get to see her again until Thursday night sometime. It's great to be twenty-something and believe your life will work out OK.

Elena goes to the beach

I know I have to let them go, but this is one of the harder things to do. I let them go out into the world with their boyfriends and hope and pray that their feelings of indestructibility will not prevent them from coming back alive. And also thier girls and other things can happen out there.Sorry I very much believe in equality, but there are somethings out there that I worry more about having girls then I would if they were boys.

Matt and Elena decide to go to Seaside in Jersey. It is the beach they have gone to with us the few times we have gone to the beach. Elena says she is going to sleep over Matt's house (yes, his mother has a seperate bedroom for her, she said. never stopped me) so they can get an early start on Monday. The next day she texts at 7:48 they are in the Oranges in New Jersey, so they must have gotten an early start. Teri texts about some accidents on the road and I text her a picture of her unmade bed asking her if her cat messed up her bed while she was away. She blames her cat Milo, I tell her the cat was Elena who messed up the bed and leave it at that.

They send a picture of the two of them on the beach at 9:32. Teri replys to get sunscreen on. I'm relieved more then I realized that they are at the beach in one piece. At 4:18 we get two more pictures of them.At 5:28 Teri and Elena exchange texts about dinosaur masks and how did

her bathing suit hold up. It went something like this Elena sends a picture of dinosaur car seat covers saying I need this. Teri replys, "Can't I just drive you around with your dinosaur mask in again? Then in a seperate text asks, "Btw how'd your bathing suit hold up?" Elena replys to the first text, "I lost it remember" the she adds "Pretty good" Elena then adds she is at dinner. Teri replys to the jumble of texts, "You list your bathing suit???" seperate text, "You should head home" Elena's reply, "We will don't worry" seperate text, "No, I didn't list it and I definitely didn't lose it" seperate text, "I lost the dino mask", Teri then goes into asking about a brand new thermos and where is it. of course Elena left it in her car.

Around 9PM I text asking where is she? She replys at Stop and Shop getting cat litter and She goes on to say she is stopping at Matts house.I figure she'll be home soon.So I say, "see you soon." At 10:32, both Teri and I text her it is time to come home. She comes in just before 11. Finally she is home and safe.

Elena and Matt have a fight and Fajitas

Elena had her first fight with Matt the other day. I might have mentioned it before. If I did I'll try not to imbelish too much so you won't question my story telling and the truth. Elena and Matt made plans to go to the beach on Thursday. I guess Matt had the day off or he took it off. Elena usually lately has Thursday off. When her scheadule came out work Sunday work asked her to come in on Thursday and they gave her Tuesday off instead.

I didn't hear the fight or see the fight. Teri told me about it. I might have said or at least thought I wonder if she will say she is sorry? In all the fights I have seen her in or been in with her I don't remember her saying she was sorry. She might have and I just didn't notice, but over the last few years I have not heard those works from her lips. The fight happened, I think on Sunday or Monday. Monday night I get home around seven and I start dinner. I ask Nastia where is her sister. She doesn't know. She said Elena was home when she went out. I text Elena, a few minutes later I do it again. Teri comes home and she texts Elena, nothing. Teri calls her, no answer. Teri calls Matt, no answer. It's starting to get a little scary. They had their first fight and neither is answering their phone. I ask Teri if she has Matt's mom's phone number, She calls Matt's mom. His mom says she is home. I bound up the stairs to her room. The door is closed, I open it. In the fading day light Elena is asleep in her bed. She wakes up. I tell her we have been looking for her and dinner is in a few minutes. Going down stairs I think if I was her age and had a fight with someone very important to me (someone I love very much?) I'd have ended up in bed asleep too. Elena is home again on Tuesday. Come Wednesday around mid day I get a text asking if Matt can eat over. I guess they made up. Teri suggests garlic chicken, Elena wants chicken fajitas. I tell her we don't have everything we need. She offers to go and get everything we need and she does. I get home a little after seven again. They are both in the pool having a good time. I can't ask them to stop and come in and help, so I do it my self. We eat around eight. It tasted better then I'd expected. It's late after we clean up. Matt and Elena hang out together until around ten when he heads home. I guess peace has returned to paradise. God to be that young and passionate about things, I really miss that.

Black Widow and the fifth wheel.

Sunday Colby, Teri's second cousin, Katie and her husband Art had a little party at the 1840 house formly the

Clarksville Inn for their son who graduated high school and is going on to Virginia Tech. It was a arm and beautiful day. The party lasted from about 11AM until about 2PM. Everyone hung around outside talking and some of us weere on our phones. I just can't figure out how Colby got so old, so quick.

That night I was going to take in the movie Black Widow with the girls. They'd both asked to bring their boyfriends. I'd made a big deal about Brandon not come by to get comfortable around us (me) so I'dbacked myself into the proverbial corner. I know Teri doesn't like Marvel super hero films, but I asked her anyway. She hemmed and hawed about it and finally said no. I thought, how bad could it be? Brandon and Nastia drive me to the Palisades Center. Elena and Matt are already there. I tell Nastia and Brandon I'm going to eat at the food court. They don't have to follow, they don't. I have hot dogs and read. Later at the theater's concession stand I order a large popcorn and a tray, usual. I pour some popcorn into the tray and get it refilled. I offer the popcorn to both couples who decline it. At the seats, I sit in my usual seat on the isle. Brandon sits next to me and Nastia next to him. These seats have arm rest that go up making two seperate seats into one huge seat. I ask Nastia and Brandon if they want to switch to my seat. The do and up goes the arm rest. Just before the curtain goes up(yeah, I know that doesn't happen any more. It was alway exciting when it did way back when because the movie was about to start. Now you get endless commercials.) Just before the curtain goes up Elena moves to the other side of Matt and their arm rest goes up. So now I'm in th emiddle of two couples. My daughters have their heads in their boyfriends laps and the very unexpected has happened, I very much feel olike a fifth wheel. To make matters worse, I start to get a head ache. The Theater is only mostly full because Disney released the movie also on Disney +. The movie is good. Brandon and Nastia droveme their and they drive me home afterwards. A weird night all around.

Moriches Bay and our second annual fishing trip

This trip didn't start out like the last one, at least the day before. On Wednesday Nastia goes bowling. This night she drives her friend home. It's after dark and she is not wearing her contacts. A little background at this point. New York State law says to drive you need 20/50 vision. With contacts Nastia has 20/50 with glasses she doesn't.

It's after dark and I text her asking if she is wearing her contacts. She also slept over JJ's the night before. She texts back no. Of course I explode and call her yell at her and tell her "to get her ass home now!!" I can be so diplomatic some times. My fury is over the fact that she has had accidents around dusk to dark and each time she wasn't wearing her contacts. Maybe they are not linked, but being able to see better is always a plus. So after yelling at her she gets home and I sort of yell some more at her. She wasnt to become independant and

have no rules, but she doesn't respect the rules that are put in place to stop her from hurting people or getting hurt herself. After my yelling I'm not even sure she is going to go fishing the next. So later that evening I go up to talk to her calmly, explaining to her again why I was so upset. As I leave I tell her we are getting up at six, leaving by seven. She doesn't say anything so I think she is coming.

The next morning I let both of them get up on their own. Teri askes what time we are leaving and say seven. I'm running around collecting things that I didn't the prevoius night. The night before Teri and I went to the long delayed Nanuet fireworks display. It was one of the best I've seen. Everything I can think of has been collected and it is twenty to eight. Nastia calls shot gun and Elena doesn't care because she can stretch out in the back of my 2000 Pontiac Grand Am. I start the car up. The car seems to start a little slowly, but the battery is new and the car is running great. We stop to get ice and head off to the thruway. Traffic is a little heavier this year then last. We cross the Tappan Zee Bridge (Do'nt ask me how to get to the Mario Cuomo Bridge, it doesn't exist) Traffic is heavy, but moving. I expect the Cross Westchester Expressway east to crawel past White Plains, but it's still not bad. Even I 95 south down the coast of Westchester toward the Bronx is not bad.

When I crossed the Throgs Neck bridge years ago with my boat it seems it was under construction. It's under construction again, so traffic is slow. Hard to belive it's over twenty years ago when I'd trailer my boat over this bridge.

We exit onto the Cross Island Expressway and hit some more traffic at the exit for the Long Island Expressway. Once on the Expressway traffic breaks and we make some good time. We're at the half way point of our one hundred and two mile one way trip. Fifty odd miles late we are at Silly Lilly's fishing station and have paid for our rental and some tackle.

We load out possessions into the sixteen foot open boat and we are off. I stay to the right of the sticks where the water is very shallow. We are fishing an incoming tide, which is good. We get to the location where they said fishing is good. I set up the girls poles, put a spearing on their hook (yes, but they will do it for the rest of the day) and as I get my pole together I have to help them with some other problem. I finally get my pole into the water and I look up and have no idea where I am beyond the fact I am in the Great South Bay. The Coast Guard Station is gone and I don't know which direction we drifted. I begin to move and remember last year how I went in the wrong direction. This year I stop and line myself up with a land mark. A few minutes later I head in the oposite direction I was going to head, It was the same direction we drifted last year. We head back to the Coast Guard Station. It's red roof makes it easy to find. Our poles go back into the water. The action is immediate. Nastia lands a Sea Robin. Action is brisk and everybody catches a fish. The day is hot and cloudless. About mid-afternoon I put some suntan lotion on Nastia's shoulders. I see they are red. I look at Elena and she seems to be Ok. Elena bought sun screen 55 for this trip. Elena talks a little about taning, but it's not like it use to be when I was younger, or maybe it still is and the girls just don't make a big deal about it. We fish the same area all day. We drift through the channel and on each drift we seem to get fish. Because of past over fishing pratices the minimum size for a keeper fish is 19 inches. This year we come closer to that size than last year, but there were no keepers. High tide is around 2PM. We don't feel the tide and the action slow down until after 3. When the action stops we all decide to go in a little early. I dock the boat about 3:30 and we are loaded up and ready to head home just after 4PM.I start the car it turns over a little slowly, but starts. I have to find out why. The hundred and two mile trip according to Google maps will take over two and a half hours.And it almost does. We hit traffic going almost the whole way home. The H.O.V. lanes on the Long Island Expressway do help, but they are scary to drive. I was going somewhere around seventy at one point when the traffic comes to a complete stop. I hit my brakes and lock them up a bit, but stop safely. I look in my mirror and watch the guy behind me and hope he can do the same. If I'd been tired or a little sleepy it all might have ended differently. The girls slept most of the way home and some time just after 6PM we arrive home, safe and sound. It was a wonderful day fishing and hanging out with my daughters. I always wanted a girlfriend who liked to fish. Right now I got the second best thing, two beautiful daughters who like to fish. If I had the time I'm sure they'd go more often and fish with me. Next year I might have to bring the boyfriends, yuck! / /

Elena's Vacation and throwing bombs

Elena went on vacation with her boyfriend and his mother this past weekend, setting off several bombs in the process. She asked to go with them well in advance. Like I do, I only half listened because it was in the future. When the future arrived and it was anounced that Elena was sleeping over her boyfriend's house so they could leave early there was a little ruckus from me. It was explained to me why this was happening. When Nastia hears about this she gets it into her head that she is going to sleep over her boyfirend's parent's house. I am a very liberal and permissive parent, but her sleeping over there just because she wants to sat very wrong with me. I heard her and Teri talking in the living room, I was in the kitchen. She comes walking into the

kitchen and anounces that she is going to sleep over Brandon's house (Brandon's Parent's house) tomorrow and the next night. At this point if you've been following our adventure you know I have said some very harsh things about Brandon and his not coming over the house and become comfortable. So it was real easy to

just say, "No" to Nastia. I think I might have said it several times. I might have even gone into some detail why she could not do it. For the record my number one objection is you don't sleep over your boyfriend's or even girlfriend's PARENT'S house just because you want to. Even if the parents are okay with it. If it was his place and he invited her over, it's different. I'd still not want her to go, but I'd allow it. Hell, she is taking him to Bear Mountain for four days and they are staying in a cabin there.(Yeah, I have no idea what someone does for four days in September at Bear Mountain) And number two he has not made the effort to get to know us. After the fight was over Nastia goes upstairs. Teri and I talk about it all. I don't remeber what was said, but no one was happy. That weekend Brandon comes over to go swimming. Elena sleeps over her boyfriend's house and they don't get that real early start. Saturday at 1:11 Elena anounces she has arrived at the location. I'm not really sure where she went,(Richfield Springs, NY, just north of Cooperstown)

I'll have to ask again. From the pictures it looks like a nice place. They slept in a house with open fields behind it. She took a picture of her and Matt. It reminded me of the painting 'American Gothic'. So I edited the picture a little and sent her the picture oh her and Matt, then the American Gothic picture with the caption all someone needs is a pitch fork. She didn't find it as funny as I did.

We don't hear from her on Sunday, but on Monday she sends about eight, ten pictures of a dairy farm she visited. She sends pictures of cows and of some puppies. For someone who doesn't really like dogs she is snuggling one of them pretty tight. I am surprised that evening when she is home before I get out of work. She doesn't go into too much detail about her time up there, but she is clear she had fun. She did skeet shooting and visited an Amish farm. On Sunday Brandon comes over to swim. During the arguement with Nastia I went upstairs and I don't remember what

was said, but I took her phone from her to get her to come back down stairs. She was talking to Brandon and I didn't know. (Sometimes I really hate technology) I didn't know what he heard so I was on my best behavior while he was there. They go out to swim. I go out there and conduct light conversation with him. I ask questions, I make pleasant observations and I even suggest he throw my daughter in the pool. I was the perfect host. I even did a George Costanza (Seinfeld TV show reference) and left to give them some time alone and for him to feel relaxed. I know he isn't yet. For years I've learned to watch body laungage and Brandon's laugh seemed a little forced and he laughed a little too often. So I left them alone. They swam, Teri and I went out. I hope to see him here more often. I know one time over here is not going to make him comfortable around me, but I'll work with him on it. And just for future reference Nastia, I will never approve of you sleeping over Brandon's parent's house. His own place is another story. I won't like it, but I won't stop it. /

So what if they have lives

Elena is going away with Matt and his mother to some place upstate. Teri and I taked about it and even made Matt's mother call the house last month so we knew it was on the up and up. Also earlier this week she also rattled off what was happening this week. She was not going to be home for dinner and she was sleeping over Jessica's house...somewhere in there she said and I think I remember hearing it and thought I heard it wrong, she said she was sleeping over Matts. Last night when Teri told me she was doing that, she was a little out raged, I was more

outraged."What does she mean she is sleeping over Matt's,the hell she thinks she is!!" or something along those lines. Then Teri reminds me she is leaving to go upstate and blah, blah, blah. (that's just like yad-da, yad-da, yad-da, except it is less Seinfeldish) Well it turns out that Elena is going on that trip and she is going to be sleeping under the same roof as her boyfriend, not that that has prevented them for being twenty-somethings who are alone often or at least unsupervised. Elena went to Victoria secret the other day. I thought it was sweet that she was finally investigating being a women, but now there is this trip..... It turns out that she didn't buy underwear there. She went there to buy

bathing suits, I'm told. She put on a fashion show of the three she bought at 11:30 last night. I'd just gotten to bed when she comes in and asks Teri if she wants to see the bathing suits she bought. She puts them on one at a time and asks Teri what she thinks. I sit there and remember the scrawny little kid who on that first month with us didn't fill out a one piece much less a two piece. She's grown up too just like Nastia and I'm not dealing with either one of them doing that very well. We've only had them eleven years, they should be just going into middle school, not planning trips with their boyfriend upstate. Nastia helped me make dinner last night. Really she made rice and the vegetable as I sat around drinking beer and watching TV. She told stories and then she ventured into Brandon territory about how he wants to take her..... I was mean and said no before she finished. I should have let her finish, but I'm was not in the mood. She was going to say no about going, but I didn't let her. He has to get his ass over here and become friendly before any trip will happen. If she went anyway, well I've thought of all sort of punishment that would never happen. Lately she has not been going over his house in the morning. I don't know if she has listened or if he has said he needs the sleep. She did say he is taking her to a restaurant in the city near his job. I don't like it, but what can I do. She wants to go dancing in the city. That terrifies me. The city is not as safe as it used to be and Brandon is about as street smart as I was at that age, not much. /

The long July 4th weekend

July 4th weekend started on Friday the 2nd, Saturday the 3rd, Sunday the 4th and for some like Teri and I Monday the 5th. Teri and I enjoyed the long three day weekend.The girls, well they worked, but being twenty odd years old they managed to squeeze in the fun. With tough work situations, Teri and I have become sticks in the mud. Years past we would have at least marinated a rack of ribs or two and invited a couple of people over. The only person who came over was Nancy to do laundry, so a typical weekend, yes booooringggg. Nastia is spending every waking moment with Brandon and even some where he is asleep. We have tried to make her understand that she is chasing him, just like she did with David.I also went as far as to tell her that she feels unworthy of someones love and affection and that is why she chases. This all started out with Teri and Nastia talking and well it went down hill from there. I was away from the conversation, outside. When I came back in Nastia and Teri are gone.I headed upstairs toward Nastia's room. I turn on the hall light and then Nastia's room light. Teri is sitting on Nastia's bed and says as she is huggung Nastia, "I made Nastia cry." Teri tells me to shut the linext to a pair of my shoesght off. Occationally I interject a few comments and after a few of them Teri tells me I am not helping. I make one or two more comments before I realize this is a mother daughter talk and I leave. I'd love to tell some Elena stories, but she is spending every waking moment of her life either working or with Matt. Matt has the summer off from school and their scheadules seem to more allign right now. Elena did buy fireworks to shoot off again this 4th, but she didn't get home on the fourth until about eleven. They sit in the

corner of the dinning room. They have been there now almost four days, I'm surpirsed Teri hasn't said anything yet. I do admit Teri and I were given chances to do stuff with the girls. Nastia asked several time if we were going to do anything on the fourth. When we said, no she decided to go over Brandon's where they were having another pig roast. She invited us over. I said I was not going. ANd the reason I said no is a little evil and a little how the invitation was extended. The invitation was extended through Nastia, not through Brandon or his family. That is very impersonal. It's an invite that says to me, come if you want, but I'm not making much of an effort here. The second reason is a little evil. I'm done making an effort, or even, well, I can't say I don't care, but I'm not making an effort any more to get to know Brandon. If he comes over fine, if not fine. If Nastia wants to go away with him, the answer is no for as long as she will listen or until he quits being a pussy and comes over. Every girl I dated for longer than six month's I got to know her family very well. Some I stayed on friendly terms after the relationship ended. I know the mistake I make. On there first date I left him text he was there, not come to the door. That horse is out of the barn now and I have to deal with it. (oh remember all opinions expressed here are the author's and don't reflect the opinions of his wife in anyway.)or maybe I'll leave the barn door open and see if the horse will come back on it's own, might work. Depending on if it's got a pair.

Elena as I said earlier was over Matt's. Nastia most of the time was with Brandon. Teri and I did get to see some fireworks at Memorial park in Nyack with Kim and Nancy. It was on the fourth and we got there about eight. THe fireworks didn't go off until well past dark. For some reason they waited until nine-thirty. It was well worth it. The fireworks were bigger and more spectacular than the ones on th e17th of June or even the last ones I went to I think two years ago. THey lasted about half an hour. We then sat around in our chairs for about fifteen minutes to let all the people get in their cars and leave. We had talked about going to get ice cream, but it was almost ten-thirty by the time we dropped Kim and Nancy off on Catherine street. It was a good night. /

Swimming, boyfriends and future trips

Elena has asked a couple of time for Matt to come over to eat. Each time has been during the week and each time has presented some chanllenges. It is the busy time of the year for Teri and I don't get home until after seven every night (and yes almost twelve years ago we lied to the adoptiion agency that we always had dinner at about six). I offer hamburgers on the grill. Elena is ok about that until Teri says she is the one who is cooking. Elena volunteers Harry's Burritos and she'll pay. We did her wrong when it comes to cooking. She can boil water, but not much else. I tell her to order about seven-fifteen, seven-thirty. Elena says she'll get it. The six-thirty temperature is still very warm when i leave work. I get home and walk into the back yard. Matt and Elena are just getting into the pool. I order the food from the Harry's burrito app and pay for it. I;ll take the money from her account later. She and Matt are having a good time so I offer to go get the food. Nastia who just got into the pool wants to go with me. She towels off and with her towel in hand heads to my car. I ask her if she wants

to put some clothes on. She says she'll be ok. It's really hot and she will be. She places the towel on my fancy naugahyde seats and sits down. I get in and we both seat belt ourselves in and off we go. It's a quick trip to Nyack and after a few minute maskless wait I have the burritos. Upon my return to the car Nastia tells me Teri called and she is on her way home. We arrive home just before her and when she comes in she is tired and not too happy. It's been a tough day for her. We all sit down in the dinning room eating our burritos. They are their usual good tasting. About half way through her burrito Nastia notices her's has cheese, she is lactose intollerent. I tell her to open it up and try to eat around th echeese. She tries that. I then wondeer out load if Elena's burrito has cheese. She says she hasn't tasted any. Nastia gives Elena half a burrito and she receives back a stub of a burrito. It wasn't fair, but what can you do. After dinner Elena anounces she wants to see Jurassic World part two. We watched part one the other night Matt was over. Teri, Nastia and I will join Matt and Elena. As I swing the couch in the front living room toward the TV in the family room Nastia anounces that Brandon's sister has invited her to go to Florida this December. I know this is coming, but I can't seem to face it right now, so I say, "NO" I try not to curse and I say no several more times. I'm not ready to share her any more then I am not. And I feel I am sharing her too much and she is running after Branden and making it simple for him to start taking her for granted, but that story is for another time. She asks why not? Teri gets into the conversation around this point and asks the important question, "When would you be going?" Nastia's reply, "Well December 26 through January 1st" "Not during the holiday time, I'm not ready to give up the holidays yet." Teri says Nastia always th epoor arguer, "Well it's not a holiday." It goes on and for some reason Nastia listens to us again. After the arguement Nastia heads upstairs, I comment that she wanted to really see this movie and now she is going upstairs. Another reason she shouldn't go to Florida this December. She says she is just going up stairs to get something, she'll be back. For the movie Nastia sat near her mother on a couch close to the TV. It was most likely because she couldn't see sitting as far back as I was. I thought she might be angry at me. After the movie I go to shower. I make a quick u turn and go to Nastia room. I tell her to call Branden back, I want to talk. I tell her some facts. Matt has been over here more times in a week then Branden has been in the six months you two have been dating. He needs to come over here get comfortable with us and us with him like you are with his family before we will let you go on a trip like you want to. This is when she tells me Branden said he isn't going. No matter I tell her. After my shower I go into her room again to kiss her good night. She tells me heis coming over to swim on Saturday. Of course she is going to go over his house early on Wednesday and later go swimming at his house with a friend of his. It's still not fair, but what is. If I had it my way........... /

Tattoos and 'f' yous

Last Friday, I think it was. I blogged about it so I guess I could just look it up, but I won't. I wrote about going to The Taco Factory and how I took Teri's advise aboout telling Elena how I don't like Tatoos. I did it at the wrong time and I did it with the wrong tone of voice and I used the wrong words. My speech about how women with lots of tatoos look dirty even if they are showering three times a day fell on deaf ears. Or maybe I just inspired her to go out and get it. Either way she went out a couple of days ago and got a tatoo of a cat on her neck. It is one of those done deals and it is her body, so....so....soooooooo..... I'm sorry my loving daughter, I still don't like tatoos.I will always love you though. I left work early the day after Elena got her tatoos. The two are not related. I neede to go to the dentist, I'd broken a tooth and needed it fixed. I get to the dentist on Crossfield, he does some work on my tooth, he takes some x-rays and tells me the tooth he fixed needs a crown, I figured that. Then he tells me I have stress fractures in two more and will need crowns on them. He charges my insurance $500.00 then me $400.00. I leave his office a in shock a little. I'm imagining what the total bill could look like. I then remember Nastia had called earlier in the day and she had locked her keys in her car. I think to myself, Hey, this is something I can do to make me feel happier. So I drive over to Stop and Shop and go into see Nastia. SHe says she was going through her backpack on the rear seat and must have left them under the backpack when she locked and shut the door. I go out and check all of her doors, they are locked. On advise from one of Nastia's friends I call the police. The office who answers says the town won't allow them to open people's door anymore. I guess people sued over some precieved damage to their precious car 'f'ing the rest of us in the process. Nastia said to try AAA. I think her friend might have said it. I call AAA. The very pleasant girl on the other end of the line says we have to be members andif we became members their would be an immediate action fee or something like that of $75.00. I say thanks, but no. She does give me two phone numkbers of garages taht could help. I call Ben's and they say it's $125.00 plus tax and it will be 45 minutes until they can get there. I say, OK. I'm out of options short of breaking a window. I wait for Ben's. About twenty minutes later A tow truck pulls up and out pops two guys. The driver takes a bag with a small hand bulb pump attached to it. like a blood pressure test pump. He sticks the bag between the door and the jam. inflates it. It makes enough of a space to slide an elongated metal hook into the car and he pops the lock. It takes all of two minutes. It takes longer to pay then to do the job. I grab the keys from the back seat as the alarm on the car goes off. I stop the alarm and proudly go into Nastia to present her with her keys. Nastia is happy until I tell her how much it cost. She starts going on about the price, asking about the police and AAA. Then she says something that hurt. It is the second time she has done this. The first time I let it go. She says, "Maybe I should have called Branden's father." She has invoked his name like he is a god twice. THe first time when she paid for a donut tire for her car and she said,"Well, Branden;s father said it shouldn't have been that much." She takes her car to his family to have the brakes fixed. No one tells her what to buy. I kept telling her I'd go with her, but she needs to know what to buy. She goes with Branden and they buy two sets of brakes and four rotors. Later She'll return a set of brakes and three rotors. She is then told she needs a new axel. I blink and do a what the f... and I ask, are you sure? She buys it with Branden and the Uncle trys to put it in, but can't. She then takes it over to a Rt 303 garage to have it done. I'm thinking all this time....Well I won't say. I give Nastia her keys and leave. My feeling are hurt, but I try to forget it. I know it wasn't malicious or evil on her part. It is her just speaking what came into her mind without filtering it. I yell at Nastia somewhere later about it. I think it is at home. I do sometimes have a filter and it kicked in. I remember telling Nastia that after all my efforts she invokes Branden's father's name like he is a cure all is a massive fuck you to me, especially after all the effort I put into it. Later I do apologize to her and we talk and she points out that she did call me and not Branden's father. I know why I got angry.....I always want to be the hero in her and Elena's eyes, not some guy whose spawn she happens to be dating. I know it's a bit harsh and I need to be a bigger man, but I'm still human. And well you know...... /

Nastia goes drinking

I'm very conflicted about what I am going to write today. Going out drinking with friends is a ritual most everyone has gone through. I'm conflicted because Elana's and Nastia's Russian mother from what I have learned was an alcoholic and she died very young. I have freely provided both of my daughters with alcohol (god that sounds real bad) and Teri and I have monitored their drinking so that their experiences don't get out of control and they have respect and an awareness of what could happen when they drink. It all boils down to a line in a TV show I used to watch called 'life in pieces'. One charactor says to the other, "You know that thing you said would probably never happen, I think it has." Teri and I believe all the things we tell our daughters to be aware of will probably never happen, but they need to be aware they could. Nastia a few days ago announces she is going to go out drinking with her friends . They are going to a bar in New City with friend from work, a guy friend. Nastia talks to Branden about it and he asks that Jessie go with her (Nastia also calls her JJ). I'm at work when Nastia calls and tells me it is just her and JJ, so could I drive them over to the bar. I try to convince them to go local, but The Peppermill grill is closed on Mondays and they didn't want to go to Ricks Club. I get home as Nastia is going to pick JJ up. When they get back I ask if anyone has eaten? Nastia hasn't. A bad start to the night.JJ promises to make sure she eats something. I give the speach about not accepting drinks from guys and leaving each other alone. And Teri adds the down leave your drink unattended (Rohypnol, The date rape drug is the refrence) I drive them over to D and D's in New City. I asked them what time can I pick them up? Nastia says her curfew is 11. What time do I want her home?I look at the clock in my car, it says 7:42 and I say 7:42. JJ the wise ass says AM? It's agreed I will pick them up at 11.I drop them off, swing around the parking lot and see them sitting outside. I wonder if they are having trouble getting in, Nastia does look like she is fourteen still. I leave. Later that night Teri and I get a tornado warning for the area. Teri wants to call Nastia. I say leave it be, you know it's one of those things that probably won't happen, but could. We see some amazing lighting come out of the western sky. Nastia later will tell me she missed it, she was inside while it happened. Elena will ride it out at Matt's texting us she is staying at her boyfriend's until it is over. She is always willing to make the big sacrifice. The storm passes and about 10:30 I text Nastia I'm coming to pick them up a little early, she texts, ok. I get over there at 10:50 and text Nastia, I'm there, no answer, three minutes later, I text again, no answer, two minutes later again, no answer. I text again and this time I say please answer me, I get no answer. I get out of my car and head over to the door. I see them outside laughing and sort of walking. I say hello to them not saying anything about the texts, you know because, you know it is one of those things that probably won't happen and didn't. I drive JJ home and they both tell me about there night. JJ tells how she slipped Nastia a sprite instead of a 7 and 7. Nastia tells me how she drank a Mike's hard lemonade, started a second and smoked some weed (pot!) outside the bar. And how the bartender refused to serve her. She thought she was more high then drunk. different sides of the same coin. I get Nastia inside and we go upstairs. Nasita wants to do it again she says. I watch over her going up the stairs and when I watch her brushing her teeth, Teri has had enough of my babying her and sends me away. I don't want to go, I'm enjoying myself, but I go. Teri takes over and after my shower I go in and say good night to Elena,then Nastia. Nasita is on her bed still dressed and she is facetiming Branden. I remind her that drunk facetiming is as bad as drunk texting. Things get said you can't take back and I leave. It's a night I'm sure she will not remember. Not because of alcohol or weed (pot!), but because of the things that could have happened,that didn't, thank god. /

Seeing the bad side of the Muller Family

Friday afternoon Elena informs us she will not be having dinner home. She has been spending alot of time with Matt after work lately. School is out and he now has sometime to spend with her. She says his mom is having a BBQ and has invited her. Later it turns out that the BBQ is on Saturday and Elena is now asking if Matt can eat with us. I'm at work reading the exchange between Elena and Teri. I have forgotten Nastia and I had planned to make meatballs and have spaghetti with them. I am reminded of this around five when Nastia calls to ask if it is pork she needs to get. I tell her never mind, plans have changed and now we are going to the Taco factory with Matt. Nastia is a little put out with me because if she didn't call she'd have bought the pork. I told her no big deal, the pork would have not gone bad. It was also a good thing she didn't buy the pork because Teri got home first and she didn't need the added stress of cooking after the week she has had.(Job issues). We are all home around seven and walok down to th enew Taco Factory. Before the Taco Factory,it was Sangria's cafe, before that it was Sangria's. All three owned by the same person or group. Sangria's moved to a bigger building on Rt 303 and is doing very good. Sangria's cafeserving american food/ deli didn't do so good. Foood was good, but it wasn't special. We walk in to the Taco Factory and are seated in the corner near the windows. Elena sits near Matt and during most of the night they hold hands. Elena talks about getting another tatoo. I have kept silent about this subject from the beginning when Teri got her first tatoo. One or two tatoos can look sexy, but I've seen some women covered in tatoos and even if they bath three times a day their skin looks dirty to me. So I hear this little voice in the back of my mind. It is Teri saying if I don't approve of tatoos say something. Yeah, wrong time and wrong place, but I give my speach about what I think of tatoos. I dont realize it at the time but it upsets Elena. Now she doesn't choose to attack me, but instead she begins to attack her sister, not right away, but she starts saying things about her when the conversation goes to has she filled out the card her union sent her asking for her to name a benificiary on either

her 401 or a life insurance policy. It makes no sense to name Teri or I and it is too early to name Matt. So Nastia it is. When Elena says she doesn't want to. Nastia adds fuel to the fire by saying she didn't want to name her sister either. Thing don't get better. I get upset and tell Teri I'll go pay for the drinks we've ordered and let's leave. Teri says, no. I sweep my hand and say, "I don't real want to be in the same room with these two right now." It puts a big chill on the evening. The table is silent after that. Conversation does gradually return. Which was a good thing. The Taco Factory is very under staffed and it is their Grand Opening weekend. So we sit for over an hour waiting for our food. It finally arrives, Teri ordered a steak taco, it is very good, Elena orders a burrito, She is unhappy because it has been cut in half. Nastia ordered a buritto also. Matt I don't remember what he ordered. I ordered a chimichanaga filled with pork called pastor. I looked it up, it's pork marinated, then grilled. The chimichanga had a sweet taste to it. I guess they put some fruit in it. It was real good. Teri gave me a corner of her steak taco, it was real good too. Except for seeing the bad side of the Muller family, I think Matt enjoyed his food too. Well such is life. I didn't realize at the time, but the crappy evening was my fault. I didn't have to talk about tatoos and how I don't like they there. I didn't realize how it put a real chill on the evening and set Elena off. Before that she was not attacking her sister. /

Opening the Pool too early and a hole in the pool liner.

After last year everything seems to need to be done early and too excess at least a little bit. We had the pool open last year, but this year I and at least Nastia needed the pool open early. I'd wanted to open it the end of April. It was cold and very unsummerey. Teri commited the coup de gras (this time I used it correctly, not like the

previous blog entry) when she said United Water had most likely already read the meters and we'd get charged summer rates anyway, so I waited. Mid May can sometime, at least over the last few year be unpredictable. Some days are nice and warm, otehrs a little cold. I opened the pool mid May on a weekend. The neighbors maple tree was stil dropping polynoses (When I was young,we called them helicopters) I thought, no big deal, I'll clean them out after I patch the hole in the pool and fill it up.I'm sure the hole is in the floor of the pool. I clean all of the

leaves out of the pool and begin to look for the hole. I walk the pool sure I'll find it at any moment. I don't. To prevent the liner from shrinking Teri says we should fill the pool up. We fill the pool up about three quarter of the way. There is a shortage of chlorine so I don't feel the need to fill the pool all the way up and put chlorine in it. Big mistake, also the temperature drops from the upper 80's to a high in the low 50's for several days. The polynoses continue to fall into the pool and I don't have a skimmer to clean them out. Yesterday I drain the pool, clean the polynoses out and again look for the hole in the pool. Later in the day Nastia comes to help. I put about six inches of water in the pool to stop the liner from shrinking. Nastia rolls up her pants legs and climbes into the icy cold water. She tries to keep her pants dry, but does not succeed when she sits down oh her legs. After that she goes on her hands and knees to look for the hole. After about half an

hour she too has had it. We let the water settle and I drop food dye into the water and it shows nothing. That is it for the day. The next two days it is hot and humid. Late in the day we got thunder storms, so little is done on the pool. Friday, the level of the water has not gone down. So I turned the hose on again and added some more water. I forgot it is on so I called Elena who is still asleep at home asking her to turn the water off before she leaves. I also text Nastia to make sure the water is off when she gets home around 2:30 from work. The pool water level as of Saturday morning is about six to eight inches from the water mark where the water was over the winter. The level hasn't dropped. I put a chalk mark on the line and it looks good. More water goes in it later today. I will add more to this post until the pool is up and patched. //

Life goes on and on and on...*

*I guess the alternative is some stranger throwing dirt on your face while you are in a deep hole in a box. Sometimes I feel I just might want to take the stranger, the hole and the box. Life around here has been a little tough. Some of it is Teri and I are getting older and some of it is Teri and I have gotten ourselves into positions at work that are not working any more. For Teri it never really worked. She was hired for a position of customer experence and from day one she has been handling the call center. People have ignored her and just plain old made her job tougher. Now her bosse's boss is unhappy with her job preformance. It's not good, she is very unhappy there. My problems at work are, I was told I care too much, so now I don't care. I still work hard, but when they take the heart out of my insurance food program and allow people to go with out, even though we will get new authorizations for 90+% of the clients, I just do what I'm told and hope God doesn't take it personal. For the girls, life goes on. They are young and in love and that is all that matters. There biggest problems are getting up early in the morning to go to work or go see their boyfriends in the morning. This weekend, Nastia and Branden are going to a hotel in Suffern, I think it is called The Crown Plaza. They are going there to have room service and just hang out. Nastia used to say that alot when she would go out with David. Nastia reassures me they are not going to have sex there. She is over twenty-one and if I told her no she can't go, she would listen, but she is also at that age that she has to take responcibility for her own actions. I'm not saying anything is going to happen Saturday night that hasn't happened before. I just saying She is old enough to do these things and I'm hoping she grows up some by experencing life, if that makes any sense. Elena is still just Elena. She decided to get drunk the other night with Nastia. At Nancy's birthday Elena decided she liked 43. We've had the bottle for years and hadn't touched. 43 is best after eating Mexican food preferrable from El Bandido in Spring Valley when the previous owner was alive and ran the place. Back on Tuesday Elena goes down stairs and gets the 43 again. She gets three shot glasses and pours three shots. I've had two

bottles of beer and I'm just sitting quietly at the table. They offer me a shot and I drink it. They pour themselves several more shots and they peter out pretty quickly. I wasn't going to stop them for drinking. I still want them to wake up with hang overs. I do point out to the both of them that Elena has a controling personality. She controls her intake of mountain dew. It is a soda high in sugar and caffeine. For the longest time every where she went she had a can or bottle of it. Then it was gone replaced by bottles of water. She said she just didn't feel like drinking any. Did Matt say something? Elena in my opinion has the personality to be an

alcoholic. So I keep a closer eye on her then Nastia who after a couple of drinks is done. After dinner and the shots of 43, Elena goes upstairs and Nastia sits with Teri and I watching TV for a while. Neither of the girls wake up with a hang over the next day. 43 is a liqueur with a proof of 62 (highest proof is 200) So I guess it is sort of safe, but it could be that infamous gateway drug that sends Alice down that rabbit hole. I'm hoping Teri and I are being responcible and demystifying the lure of alcohol. All you future people can flip several years into the future and find out. If you do could you leave me a note in the comment section to let me know if I'm making a mistake. /

They're going to Great Adventure- the poor man's/women's Disney World

Several months ago the girls decided with Jessica (Elena's friend) to all go to Great Adventure in June. At the time it was so far away that I didn't really care, so I didn't give an opinion. I'm starting to realize that eventually the day they talk about will come to pass and they won't forget about it. Well another one of those days has come to pass and yes they did not forget about it. Jessica's mom, Jessica, Nastia and Elena are heading to Great Adventure in Jackson New Jersey. And yes it is definately the poor man's/women's Disney World.(like how I am including both genders, now all I have to do to be'woke'is start using 'they' for the gender indeterminate and to ditch him and her and be gender neutral. What a load of horse crap, hopefully all you future people have no idea what I'm talking about. One day people will hopefully just be proud to be who they are and not have to attach so many bullshit labels to it. I'll now get off my soap box.) I've been there pre and post Disney. The first time I went to Great Adventure was just after it opened. My mom took us there to the animal park. We asked to go on the rides when we saw them as we were leaving. She said no. Some of her decisions in retrospect I think were a little odd. Why did we go down there just for the animal safari and not for the rides? Did she think she could not control four kids in Great Adventure alone? Maybe. The second time I went was just after high school with a bunch of people who were friends of a friend of mine. we got up at the crack of dawn, went to a dinner where no one except me wanted breakfast. They all were maoning and groaning about someone eating this early in the morning, I was eighteen or nineteen at the time and they embarrased me into having just an english muffin and a drink. Soooo, guess who got charged a service charge for their order. When we got to Great Adventure it was overcast with a light rain. We got to go on so maney rides that I thought this is the greatest place! Then the sun came out and so did everyone who had stayed away in the morning. I still thought it was great. The third time I went was after we had adopted the girls. We went down to Jackson, paid an expensive ticket fee, I don't remember how much, I just remember it was close to Disney World prices, I thought. We entered the park. I must have been expecting Disney World level entertainment, what we got was tourist trap entertainment. The girls had gone to Great Adventure every year they were in Summer Camp and they loved the place. We all went on a roller coast where I hurt my neck, so I quit going on most rides. We ate lunch at a name burger place, paid top dollar and it was awful. I generally had a bad time. The coup de gras (I looked it up to make sure I was using it correctly- The final killing blow that puts a person out of their misery), wait I guess that is incorrect because I was not put out of my misery. My feeling when I saw they were charging extra money to go on some of the most outrageous rides was more like outrage. I've prattled (talk at length in a foolish or inconseqential way) for quite a few paragraphs and they have just left. The girls stay over at Jessica's. At nine-thirty this morning I text the girls and ask them if they are there yet. I figure if they got up at 7 or so and were out of the house by 7:30 they'd be there almost. Elena replys that they just got up. Teri calls them and talks to Elena. She find out that Elena didn't bring a tooth brush. So around 10 they both walk in the house so Elena can brush her teeth. Teri comments about their clothes and lack of pockets to put their phones and stuff. She also comments about Elena's stained shirt. Elena complains and says she fine, but she goes up to change her shirt. Nastia too goes and changes to pants with pockets. I hope they have fun. It'll be noon by the time they get there.

I texted the girls sometime after one. They reply, we'll be there soon. I'm thinking that if this were Disney they'd get there just before it closes at five. Great Adventure stays open later I'm told. I asked for a pictures from Great Adventure, so I could see what fun they were having. I get a picture of the two of them just after they arrive about two. Later I ask for a picture of the two of them with Jessica. That is all the pictures I get. I don't want to intrude on their fun asking them to take pictures. Plus Matt isn't there to

walk away from the camera, ask Elena. The girls send a text message they aere going to Jessica's house to retrieve Elena's car. I receive it around 9:45 while Teri, Nancy and I are watching the movie Cruella at AMC Theatre in the Palisades Center. Everyone had fun this day I guess. /

Memorial Day weekend finally...

Earlier in May the weather is warm, up in the eighties. Everyone thought it was going to be an early summer. So last week I opened the pool and started to look for the hole in the liner. Around Thursday the temperature drops to a high of 58 and it started to rain and it rains through the weekend getting no warmer then 60. As the first almost post Covid holiday I and my family are looking forward to the holiday. But we are not all looking in the same direction. Nastia starts the week off by sleeping over her friend Jesse's house. I see her Monday and for only a little while, I think on Wednesday or Thursday. Then she is gone again. She works Saturday then goes to Branden's house for what

she said is a BBQ. When asked about it later she will say it was just Brandenn's family getting together and not really a BBQ. Nastia then reappears on Monday, Memorial Day at our house,after she's worked Stop and Shop. Ahh, to be young with no responsibilities. Now Elena she worked and hung out with Matt. She didn't say too much about what they did, but she used the house as a bedroom during the Memorial Day weekend. What are you going to do. They are in that time of life where they are earning some money and their bills are small. I remember it will. I felt rich or at least comfortable back then. I thought it would last forever, or at least not end today or tomorrow. And I'm sure they feel the same. They are in love or at least think they are and it is a great time in life, one of the best where everything seems possible. On the Wednesday after Memorial day, Nastia goes to her first Summer bowling league night. She says she thinks they won all three games, but she is nor sure. Elena went to the movies to see The Quiet Place II. She came home with flowers and said the movie was great. The flowers were from Matt. That kid has fallen hard for my daughter. And I think she has for him too. Like I said this time of life, before kids and morgages is the best time of life. I wish I'd never left it sometimes.

Hiking and the warm weekend

Elena and Matt decided to go for a hike. When I first heard about it I thought Ok, they are going to walk around Rockland Lake or something like that. Well it turns out that they were going to Bear Mountain. I've been to Bear Mountain but never hiked. My Mom has hiked alot of the trail in the county and I should have talked to her about it so she could have guided them. My only advice was to take a picture of the trail marker so if they got lost I could tell the search dogs where to look for the bodies. A day or so before the hike she brings home this back pack. It's a beautiful thing. I think she paid a good dollar for it.It's green and light weight, has a pull cord at the top. It's just very nice. The day before the hike, She makes sandwiches for her and Matt. I'm sorry, but I find that so cute.Elena being

domestic and showing she cares for someone so much she'll make him a sandwich. It's too cute. The Morning of the hike she is packing the back pack with freezer packs and all the stuff they think they will need. I relax and think if they get lost we'll just follow the stuff they throw out of the pack when they realize

it's too damn heavy to be lugging all over god's creation. I make a comment about the weight of it and Elena tries to heft it onto her back. She admits it's heavy, but takes nothing out of the pack. Matt comes and picks her up and off they go. After a while, maybe two, three hours Teri and I haven't heard from

her.So I text her and ask for some pictures. She sends pictures of the trail, Matt walking away from her on the trail, pictures of grass and trees. I text her back and ask for a picture of them together. She sends it and Teri ask for a picture of them together, smiling. They try again and it is a little better. All through the day Elena sends picture of where they are walking. I realize they are walking in Doodletown. I

don't know the history of it, but it is now part of the Bear Mountain state park. It was once a small town up in that area and I guess the state bought out all of the residents. I'd heard my mother talk about it several times when she walked that area. Elena sends back a steady stream of pictures of the signs talking

about what houses were where and when they were taken down. It is interesting. I do notice she is always taking pictures of Matt walking away. I wonder what that is about? (Come on and just think about it for a moment) Then the texts stop. I figure they are out of the town. Sometime around four or so I notice the sky is getting dark and the wind has picked up out of the northwest. It looks like a thunder storm is coming. They are north of us and they might even be in it now. I text

her and ask her if they are still hiking. No Answer, after a little while I text again and say thunder storms are coming are you hiking still. no answer again. Teri sends a hellooooo. Finally an answer. She says they are not hiking and her phone died. I guess it got better. (Monty Python and the Holy Grail joke) She comes home around six I think. Nastia worked, then went over to Branden's house. That was Sunday. On Monday she works 7-3 and then goes over Branden's house. Her mother and her have a talk about being to easy, too willing to run over to his house. She then comes to talk to me about the same thing and I tell her that she needs to be a little bit more difficult to get. He needs to come over her more. He needs to pursue her, not the other way around. He'll value you more if your'e not always there for him. God, it was all so sexist, but it was still so true. I even told her that is just the way guys are. She would alway drop what she was doing for David whenever he call. He was emotionally unavailable to her, but she didn't care and or didn't see it. Finally she got tired of him being so distant, physically and emotionally. She is in this relationship with Branden. He works odd houra and it is tough for her to see him. AND it is alway her running to see him, not the other way around. One night after being with her, he drops her off and he goes to hang out with his friends. It's not bad, but why did he drop her off, was it late and she had to be home, I don't remember, maybe. I kind of hope so. Elena and Matt for some reason are alot simpler and I don't know why. Matt works alot and goes to school. Elena works alot and wants to go back to school. They hang out on Wednesdays like Nastia does with Branden.They have some evening together, but it doesn't seem like Elena is rushing over to Matt's everytime she can. Nastia when she goes it almost....she reminds me of a person who doesn't feel complete unless she is in a relationship and if that is true, it is not healthy. I worry more about Nastia right now then Elena for some reason.Maybe it is because Elena is a strong independent person, maybe too independent and Nastia used to be. /

Nancy's birthday, power games and 43

Sunday we all got together to celebrate Nancy's birthday. Orginially we were going to go to a restaurant, but Amanda wasn't able to make it so we had a dip party. Yeah, I know, the joke is too too obvious to make though. If I were to make it, it would include us all. My contribution was to make Swedish Meatballs. I love cooking and I've said it before, it's therapy. I get into the kitchen, I've collected all the necessary ingredants in advance and I love it. Somehow, this time I blew it. Around lunch time I go to get bread for a sandwich. I also picked up heavy cream for the sauce, but forgot good bread for the meatballs. When I go looking for the beef broth down stairs, I can't see any. The next day I will find it, where I'd put it, a shelf below where I looked, right below the chicken broth.So I run out to get some beef broth and don't realize I've forgotten my wallett until I'm at self-check out. I rush back home, get my wallett and leave. About half way back to the grocery, Teri calls and asks me where I've been, where I'm going and why did I rush out of the house? I'm confused, there was no one home. It turns out Nancy is in the living room and Teri is upstairs and I'd parked on the street , not seeing her car. I start the meatballs after all the running around about five, for a six PM dinner. Teri asks me how long do they take? and honestly I didn't know. For me dinner is ready when everything is cooked and I am rarely concerned with time as Teri can well confirm. Teri wants to help and I'm rushing around and she is asking me questions and I'm angry it is so late to be starting this and I should have been more organized and Teri is asking more questions and I'm trying not to be angry and "no, Teri I'm not mad, why would you think that?". Teri starts to clean up for me. I use a few too many pans when I cook. I'll put onions in a bowl for two minutes while I cut celery. So lots of pans that get used for a short peroid of time. The Meatballs get made in a timely manner, about twenty minutes or was it closer to an hour? Mother's and daughter's usually don't get along at certain points of their lives.Teri and Nastia are no different. Teri wants Nastia to grow up and be an independent lady. While at times Nastia is determined to grow up a foul mouthed, man dependent unemployed house wife and mother who talks like a truck driver. If this was the 1950's Nastia could be a very happy person, but it's not. So Teri and Nastia bump heads often. Tonight while I am cooking was one of those nights. I don't remember the fight, I just remember how their attitudes changed on a dime. They had just finished fighting when Queen's Bohemian rhapsody comes on Alexa. If you future people don't know Queen and Bohemian Rhapsody, civilized society has come to an end. In a strange way that song unites Teri and Nastia and they both start singing it and also dance a little to it. I took a video and you guys are the only one who know about it. Call me and I'll show it to you. Other wise you'll just have to imagine it. After the song ends, Teri quickly whips up a corn dip and then Amanda shows up. Everyone is here. Now back on mother's day I lost Teri's card and with everything that was going on I didn't find it in my computer

until the next day or maybe it was a day or two after that. I finally filled it out. I add a bottle of Rumchatta and a day or two before Nancy's birthday, at night for a surprize the next morning I left it where Teri usually sets up her computer. That next morning Teri goes to work instead of working from home. That night we eat dinner in the kitchen. For two, three days the rumchatta sits on the table. After a while I start to wonder who would break first and admit to it's existence. I don't remember exactly how it came about, but Teri asks me if I'm going to just leave that there and it would have been nice to tell her it was there the night I put it there. I thought it was a surprize, but I replied that I was wondering who would break first and then I smiled, I don't think she thought it was funny or smiled back. We sit down to eat dinner. I think, this is a celebration and for some reason I think of the bottle of 43 I have down stairs and how it would be nice to sample a little of that vanilla liquor, so of course I go and get it. I

round up four glasses, Teri saying she didn't want any.I hand a small glass with about a half inch of golden yellow liquid in it to Amanda, then Nancy and finally Nastia and Elena. Nastia has had it before and swollows it. Elena a little suspicious snifes it, looks it over and finally tastes it. She makes a face, then asks for more. I give both girls about four shot of it and the light weights they are, I am forced to cut them off after their mother

complains. I didn't care if they got drunk and had hang overs. It would have been controlled and they need to know the cost of too much alcohol. Dinner ends with a canoli cake made by Amanda, it was good. After clean up Teri takes Amanda and Nancy home, Nastia and I go watch TV and Elena goes up to facetime Matt. It was a good night. i /