Christmas Houses 2013

My Mom started this tradition just a few years ago. This is another of those when we were young stories. When we were young my mom used to bake cookies with us. She would make roll out cookies that we would use cookie cutters then spread some egg white on and add sprinkles. There were also the cookie press ones. You would fill the cookie press, put in a shape, a camel, a Christmas tree, a reindeer and so on and out would come cookies shaped like it. Then the egg white and sprinkles.
  This all ended when a large group of people got together and tried to bake cookies. I thought it went well, my mom was not pleased.

  She came up with the idea of decorating cookie houses. I was not a big fan, it seemed like a lot of work for her and I didn't think people would go for it. I was wrong, it has become a big hit. This year their were twenty-five people at my mom's. Plus she did for the Rockland Center for the Arts about twelve and she gave six spare houses to her neighbor Greg, who will invite five of his sons friends over to do houses. And she had a small gathering of her friends over for some Adult house decorating.
   It Snowed the day before we were to do the houses and the roads got sloppy, but seemed to clear by the time we were to do houses. I thought people might stay away, they did not. Some arrived a little late and some, like Elena's friend Jessica arrived very late. Everyone grabbed a house. The variety this year was beyond all previous years.

Teri got to do an apartment house. The Girls got regular houses to do. Elena wanted a new house because corners of the roof kept breaking off. Both Girls did some nice houses.
   About two in the afternoon we ordered six pizzas and after clean up we all went home around six that night. And of course we were hungry before eight and made snacks before bed.  Lots of fun.

Christmas blues

I knew it was going to happen. I have felt it in my bones for years and it finally happened this past Sunday. The death of my Father's Christmas ornament. I don't know how old it was or even the history around it. I supplied that in my imagination when my mother gave it to me about a dozen years ago.

  The mythology I invented went something like this. It was bought by my grandfather in the nineteen-twenties, when he was happy with his wife and didn't drink too much. He had a job and life was pretty good.
   Or maybe it was an ornament off the tree at Uncle Willie's house, where my Dad stayed for a while during the depression and he took this box of ornaments from his house after his Uncle died in the late fifties to remind him of if not a great man a good man who was the rock of his family, who was always there when he was needed by his parents or by his nieces or nephews.
  I remember the ornaments hanging on our trees during the nineteen-sixties.

They would hang with the cheap plastic ornaments that I now treasure, the ones filled with all the Christmas memories of growing up waiting for my dad to come back off the route to open presents. Or the time I stood in the doorway of my room at two in the morning while CBS played a Christmas Carol over and over on the TV, my Dad asleep in the chair. Or the time, I was very young, Bonanza was still on, it was a Christmas Sunday and had gone to bed, but couldn't sleep. I came out to my mother sitting on the floor cleaning up, her asking the usual "Why are You up?", me crawling into her lap and telling her I felt bad that her and Daddy got nothing for Christmas, Her saying that they got enough and it was OK.
  These are the memories that were in that ornament, which will now be in the ornaments like the bird that has been on every tree as far back as I can remember, as well as the cheap plastic nineteen-sixties ornaments that I now love.
  I even have a collection of Hallmark ornaments that have memories of when I first moved out of my parents house after my Dad died and I lived up in Stony Point. Every

Hallmark ornament that has to do with Mickey or I love Lucy or the Wizard of Oz is filled with memories of Teri and I, when we lived in Nyack and life seemed easier, a little simpler. We weren't so old back then.
  Christmas is filled with so many memories, some like the girls first Christmas were magical. I have a video of it.
  I guess I will get over the death of the ornament. I even took pictures of it in case it were to happen. When it did it was just like I thought it would happen. Someone was anxious to put up decorations on the tree and it's hook caught the one that was being picked up, it went up just high enough to clear the box, that was sitting on the floor. I heard it shatter and even before I looked,

 I knew what had happened. I didn't get mad, I kind of just sagged and went to get the broom. Teri ever the one to take care of bad situations cleaned it up and I just got lost. I was told several times how sorry they were and I know they were. It was an accident, sad but true and it could of happened at anytime. It was just it's time to die. Just as it wasn't it's time when Teri's cat toppled the tree in Nyack. It survived while several of Teri's ornaments didn't. Again it was just it's time, just like it will all be our time someday.

Thanksgiving 2013 through to Nastiafest edition fifteen

Thanksgiving this year was small, just six people. Eric and Lynn had just eight and there was a thought to combine the two, but it is nice to celebrate the holidays at home even though you have to clean up afterwards. We did agree to go over their house around six to have dessert. I hadn't made anything so we bought over a bottle of champagne.
   Teri and Nancy aimed for dinner at two. They bought it in a little late and right on Muller time. For all of you who don't know, Muller time is about an hour or so after the time you said it would happen. So a two O'clock dinner time would be right on the money at three, three-thirty. We finished eating a little after four, four -thirty. I did the same thing to Elena my parents did to us kids when we were young, I made her sit at the table and talk to other people after she finished eating. She was not pleased as I was never pleased. After a few minutes she started talking and I think she enjoyed herself.
   After Dinner we cleaned and about six we went over to Lynn and Eric's. The girls enjoy going over to see their cousins and see Grammy. The fact that Billy and Denis have the best game room they have ever seen doesn't hurt. They played x-box over x-box live and played with Ryan in Florida. They played for a couple of hours. A visit that was supposed to be short ended around nine-thirty.
  It was nice to have a day off in the middle of the week. Usually I would take Friday off too, but I am only with Cream-O-Land dairy for a little over six weeks after Consolidated went out of business.
  Nastiafest 2013 was a Tuesday and Teri left for work before seven. She kissed Nastia happy birthday and went to work. I got the girls up at their usual time for school, 7:30, wishing the birthday girl a good day. Nastia ever the pan-handler told several teachers it was her birthday and she told me later some gave her money. The bus driver, she said gave her five dollars.
   Teri and I made a special effort to get home early and the four of us with Nancy, Amanda and Grammy all went out to The Hard Wok to have Chinese food. We sat in one of the backrooms and ate and Nastia opened presents. It ended around eight-thirty. That was Tuesday.
   Over the weekend the girls were bored. I wanted them to go outside and do something besides play x-box on line all day. They hung around on the north lot, sat on the still unfinished tree house, all that fun stuff you do when your parents tell you to go outside and get some exercise. A few days earlier I had thrown some pumpkins from the garden that I had never gotten around to making pumpkin pies out of back into the garden. Once a pumpkin freezes it can't be used. I got a bright idea. I took a battery operated saw outside and grabbed the stick Elena was holding. Without saying a word I cut it to the length of a baseball bat. I looked at her and said "don't you remember what happens when you two have sticks in our hands?" For all of you who are guessing the first month we had the girls Elena hit Nastia with a big stick and Nastia needed several stiches.
  It was time for Pumpkin baseball. The brand new sport where they serve you up these big fat balls to hit, sorta, well there not real balls, there pumpkins a little larger then softballs. Elena got up first and got three swings, fouling off a few. Then Nastia got up and she did the same. At this point I tell them I will show you how to do it. On the first pitch from Elena, she serves up this big orange target, high and dead center over the plate. Thirty years ago I would of parked that in the neighbor yard after it bounced off their house or at least splattered it all over my children, here I foul tip it. I put my eyes back into my head and tell her to do that again. Well you can't go home again especially thirty years later. Everyone gets several tries until we are throwing chunks of pumpkin at the batter. Elena got ahold of one or two and splattered them. Nastia and I fouled off a few and maybe got a single or two when we connected it was a fun few minutes. When we were do I let them go inside and play x-box for the rest of the day. They had gotten their exercise.

It rained, but it didn't snow or Nor'easter

When I heard it was going to rain on Halloween 2013 I thought that it was not fair three years in a row bad weather. Teri pointed out that they are not made of sugar and would not melt, she was right they didn't.
   The night started after I got home from work. The girls were ready to go. I was waiting for their mother to get home. They asked if they could go local and I thought why not. They went to the corner to Luke's house, then they went over to Laurens house ( in the back to the right) then over to Ann and Bills (back to the left) all of this on the run, so much energy and joy. It made me feel sad that they had missed out on so much in their first years of their life. The more I watched them run from house to house with that joy for life that I remember once having, the more I wished they had been here for all of their lives.

Then I thought they could of never come here and experienced any of this. Then I came out of the romantic haze I was in and noticed they were criss-crossing the street and not looking for cars, so I started walking down the center of the street telling them to watch as they crossed the street until they heard me. By then Teri was home and it was time to go to North Broadway in Nyack. We were there a few years ago and it was like Halloween was, or was always supposed to be in the fog of my memories.

  We walked up Broadway doing the eastern side streets until we reached Castle Heights Ave in Upper Nyack, We then turned around and went back to the car. It was almost 9pm by then, we ate dinner at the West Gate Motel in the empty restaurant. Food was OK. We got home before 10pm and most everyone was in bed at a reasonable hour.
   I forgot We went to the Stony Point Haunted House the day before.
   It was off exit 14 on the Palisades near the Park in a garage run be four or five twenty something guys that put a lot of time and effort into it. The side yard of the house was a grave yard. We spent a few minutes in the grave yard while they got ready. There was no crowd, but people did wander in as we left.
   Elena lead, because she was not afraid. After a ghoul jumped out at her she handed the light and the lead to Nastia, who really didn't want it. The trip through the haunted house lasted only a few minutes was a lot of fun.

Halloween without a storm, what will we do!!

Last year their was the super storm, I think it was called Sandy which knocked down trees and flooded homes and some are still feeling it a year later. The year before there was snow on Halloween. This year they are predicting rain. The poor Girls haven't had a regular Halloween in three years and I think it rained on that one or at least rained when we went to the Nyack Halloween parade. Maybe that was the first year.
 

This past weekend we went to Vernon N.J. to a farm that had all kinds of things to do. The place was Hungry heart or something like that, I really don't remember. We got there about one-thirty. When we left the house I thought a jacket would be too much. I forgot Vernon N.J. is up in the hills enough that it is cooler and when the wind kicks up it can be cold even if it is nice back home which is what it was.
   The first thing we do when we get there is have something to eat. I wasn't hungry, but when I smelled the French fries and noticed the hot dogs, well ten dollars or so later I had a nice little lunch.

It was windy and the wind was cool that French fries that were to hot to eat at the beginning were cold by the end. They were still good. The brand was or-I-da frozen French fries, a good brand. We then went to get our tickets for the rest of the place. That included a haunted house, some kiddie rides, a game where you got to shot tennis balls from a giant sling shot into a net. There were some animals to look at like pigs and rabbits and Little chicks, and there was the corn maze. We stood through an introduction of what it was all about. The guy said it could take anywhere from a half hour to an hour. We went in with Elena being the navigator and having the map.

We went up a hill and around several bends and it got to wearing thin very quickly. We hit three of the, oh I don't know maybe six or eight stations when we stumble on the entrance. We decide to continue on. but a little while later it starts to get a little colder and it is after all almost four in the afternoon by now and we had not taken the hay ride. Nancy had noticed the green tape was the tape that was at the exit so when we found it we found our way out and we then went over to the hay ride.

It was a short bumpy ride to a field full of pumpkins you could buy, which we told the girls we couldn't. We really didn't want to spend the money. On the walk back to the tractor and the trailer Elena kept trying to get me to race her and I would say ready, set, go she would run and I wouldn't. The driver of the tractor saw this and invited her to ride up in the cab with him. I then invited Nastia to join her. They each got a chance to drive the tractor and it was the highlight of the day for them I think. I couldn't get a video (oh, how 20th century of me) of the girls because of the bumps in the road I tried but got nothing good.

  After that we went home and had dinner. The girls were hoping to go to a free haunted house in Stony Point but I was too tired to go. A Guy was handing out flyer's at the Nyack Halloween parade, which to me has become one of those traditions that you do only because you once did it and it was fun. You don't know why you do it now. I know You are dieing for me to explain.
 
The parade has become overly crowded. The Police don't keep the crowds from moving out onto the street. If You start the night by getting there over an hour early and setting up a front row seat, by parade time you are four rows back if you are lucky. Last year they handed out candy. A person put a piece of candy in Nastia's hand, a fat load of rolly polly s... of a girl about ten or so grabbed it out of her hand. It's not like it was this huge candy bar, it was what they call 'bite size', about as small as you can get and still be considered a piece of candy. It was so small that neither Teri or I could fight for it. Now I wish we had, because it is a year later and it galls to think we did not stand up for our daughter. At the time we figured the little monster had far worse problems then a sever lack of manors and most likely friends or parent who knew how to raise a child that is fit to wander off her leash. At this years parade we got there about ten minutes before it was supposed to start stood in an open spot, found Jim and Phyllis and talked to them until the parade started and then watched it from afar. The inventive costumes and great marching bands were few and far between. There was a Chinese dragon which with a little effort from the people manning it could of been fun. There were a few tall costumes on sticks which were fun and then there was the roller derby skaters I enjoyed. The best had to be the Trojan horse, all hand made it looked like. What was a big turn off were the large groups of people with little or no make up and costume on and the large breaks between sections. The parade needs to be smoother and better organized. Yes I could do it but everyone would be jealous of me...

I did have something to say when I sat down...

I had a purpose when I sat down here a little while ago. Then I started reading some of the past blogs I have written. I get great joy from it and always wish I'd written more. Sometimes the story I tell feels very human. I'm not patting myself on the back here for the fun of it. I do truly enjoy reading about the times we were in Russia and the trips we took and the frustrations of being a parent and it is reassuring that we all have survived, as I pray we all will through the current problems. We solve our problems, move on create new ones and look back on the old one like old friends.
  I remember as a kid the cold war, it was the east against the west and it was like that for as long as I'd been alive. Then the wall fell and East Germans were streaming over the border where you used to hear about people risking their life and some getting killed. Then the Soviet Union fell apart and the world was a magical new place where anything was possible in that moment. It must of felt like this after World War I and World War II and even after the Civil War. But then history started moving again and President Lincoln gets shot, the great depression happens and the cold war starts. The same thing with the Berlin wall coming down. There was no peace dividend. Suddenly we are in a war with religious extremist, inside and outside of the country. I won't rattle on about my views of these awful people.
   I have emptied my soul and uncovered the original reason for this blog. We received this e-mail recently

Dear CHAC Birobidjan Families:

 

Cradle of Hope is beginning to investigate the possibility of a Homeland Tour next summer for families with adopted children from Birobidjan.  Our first step is to assess how much interest there would be in a 7 – 10 day trip sometime in late June, likely right after school ends in the US.  We are expecting at least one parent to travel with their child on this trip.

 

We will meet in NY or Washington DC for a direct flight to Moscow. We will build in a day or two for sightseeing in Moscow on the way to Biro or on the way back to the US.  The group will spend three or four days in Biro for visits to children’s orphanages, sightseeing, and participation in humanitarian aid projects. 

 

Our very preliminary and rough estimate of the cost of the trip, including airfare, hotel accommodations, meals, ground transportation, sightseeing, translation services, and visas  is $5000 - $5500 per person.  Once we have an idea of the number of travelers, we will work on providing more concrete estimates.

 

If you are potentially interested in this trip, please respond to the questions below and return to me no later than October 10^th.

 

Names and ages of family members who would travel:  ________________________________________­­________________

 

What orphanage(s) was your child(ren) from:  ________________________________________________________________

 

Could your family offer any specialized skills for humanitarian projects--planting, carpentry, painting, music/art, medical aid, etc? (Specify):

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Could you travel:    June 21-28  _______       June 28-July 5  ________      Other Dates (Specify) ______________________

 

Does anyone in your family speak fluent Russian?  ____________________________________________________________

 

Please respond no later than October 10.  Thank you.

 

 

Patrice Gancie

Director

Bridge of Hope

As soon as I saw this forward from Teri I wanted to go. Affording it is another matter. We will give it the old College try as they used to say.
  I have always wanted to go back and bring the girls back to the place they spent the first part of their life. I just wonder if it will live up to their memories. My guess is it will seem smaller then they remember it and dirtier. Teri and I will say it hasn't changed or it is nicer then it was. Memories are a strange thing. I was even thinking about a side trip to Obluchia where Elena's grandmother* lives or lived. That one is the really scary one. What type of reception would her Americanized granddaughter get. Would we open up a can of worms and maybe really mess with Elena's head? Would Nastia feel left out not being related to her. Would we get hassled by her for the job we have done raising Elena or would she just hit us up for money? Could be maybe she would not want to see us because she was so poor she could not afford to keep her granddaughter? We always make new problems to replace the ones we have solved. *10/11/2023) Back when this was written, I thought when Elena talked about her grandmother, the women was not Nastia's too. After reading paperwork about the early years of their life the reason Elena calls her, her grandmother is Nastia was put in a type of foster care while her and Elena's mother tried to bond with her new daughter at their grandmother's home. There was a hope after a few months Nastia would rejoin the other two. It didn't work out and Elena was eventually sent to the same home Nastia was in. Nastia used to talk about how she spent time seperated from her sister.

Your'e No Fun!!

I received a text from my wife the other day. She said she was going to take the girls to the park to go bike riding. I get another message that the girls had been to the house across the street that has been empty for most of the year. What troubles me the most is Nastia wanted to go over. The older one should of known better. When Elena says no, Nastia then says "Your No fun" So she goes with her sister. I can see when she is older someone offering her the new version of Ecstasy called Molly and when she turns it down they go and say "Your no fun" and she takes it and it kills her. I don't know how parents ever do this job. You never stop worrying. The worries just change as they get older. They go out into the world thinking that they are indestructible or it is someone else that will be the one to die or they just block it out of their mind and don't think about it.

Another School year has started

Well, School year 2013-14 has been going on for almost two weeks now. School has finally gotten to be easier, more of a routine. The Girls know what is expected of them and I am better at keeping my temper. Elena was told if she did twos and threes on her circle sheet we would go see Walking with Dinosaurs when it comes out this winter. She started off good, she then had a bad day where she didn't hand in some homework she said she did and she fell asleep in class or something like that. She got two zeros and two ones. No one said anything and the next day after going to bed early she bounced back with all threes.
   Nastia seems to be doing well also. She is still getting help with her homework, but she is to bring two of them home so she can start getting used to doing them on her own. There will come a day when she is on her own as far as school work goes. I think I can manage to keep her in the small classes next year because she is going to High School and I can use the change as a reason. After that I don't know.
   They both are involved in sports again this year. They both started doing Tennis. Nastia found out there was a lot of running in it and switched to intermural Ping-Pong twice a week. Elena is sticking with it and seems to have made the team. I don't know if she is that good or it is just everyone who comes to practice gets on the team. She has never played tennis before this year. I hope they both have lots of fun doing this because there is not late bus for sports. Tell me does it make sense to have a late bus that leaves before sports end so parent have to scramble to pick up their kids at five? Schools are like the government. You look and just shake your head and wonder how they get away with it, continue looking at it and it starts to give you a headache. Become employed by them and it all becomes clear.
  

Wild, wild, wildwood beach...*

*Bobby Rydel, The school in the musical 'Grease' was named after him. Learn something new every day.

Went to the beach Wednesday, Thursday and came home Friday. We went to Wildwood. I haven't been there since the early 1980's and we went to the Crest then. The family section with their hotels on the beach looking like Miami beach.

After the rain from our room

   Wildwood, I  guess is the older, more usual Jersey shore that you would see if you went to Seaside or Point Pleasant. It has the Boardwalk, where the crest I think didn't. It has its old hotels mixed in with houses and converted houses to hotels. We stayed in an old hotel, that had seen it's better days. The decor was from the nineteen-sixties or seventies. Which was the last time the neon sign was painted. It most likely hasn't been working in a few decades either. The carpet going up the stairs was worn and the rooms smelled. If we went for a nicer place we might of not been able to go. We are a little stretched from last years adoption attempt.
We left on time or close to it on Thursday, stopped for lunch at a rest stop south of exit 126 where Teri and I had a little argument. I have had time to think about this incident and I have a better view of it now then I did when it happened almost two weeks ago.

Our Wildwood Beach Camp site

  We hit the rest stop and everyone went to the bathroom and I got out quicker then the girls so I got on line at the Burger King, about eight people behind Nancy. I saw Teri come out of the crowd and I could see she wasn't happy. This is were it gets, oh I don't know, guess we have a difference of opinion over how things go. I lived for many years alone so I do things on my own. I figured out of the bathroom, get on line and get food and eat and go. No waste of time. When I see her I  get off of the line because I know she has a problem with something I did. She was concerned when I wasn't waiting in front of the bathrooms. She thought something could of happened to me and was concerned. It was one of those fights that just seem to jump out of nowhere and bit you and leave you wondering how it happened.
   We get down to the Hotel around four in the afternoon. We load the cart with all our beach junk

and head to the beach. The Beach at Wildwood must be a quarter of a mile wide from boardwalk to water. It is flat from the water to as far as I could see in the west. If last years hurricane had hit it would of flooded in land for a few miles. The tide goes in and out so far that the life guard has to move his stand several times a day. Maybe all of them do. You could be sitting at waters edge in the morning and by late afternoon it could be a walk to the water. I watched the girls go what I thought was real far out in the water then stand up and be now more then waist deep. It rained on the Friday and hard, but only a few minutes, the roads were flooded out. By after dinner it was mostly gone.
   For Dinner the first night we went to an Italian restaurant the food was good. The second night I said lets go to a place in Wildwood Crest that sounded good, but instead we walked to a buffet restaurant that was pretty good to.

   Except for the rain on Thursday night for about twenty minutes the weather was great. We went to the beach on Friday stayed until about two three in the afternoon. We grabbed something to eat at McDonalds and went home. Before we did that the girls got Fiddler Crabs for twenty dollars each. I didn't want them to but gave in when Elena's attitude improved on Thursday. They played with them, took them everywhere for a day or two and now almost two weeks later I haven't seem them or even thought of them in about ten days. I hope they are OK.
   It was another fun trip to the beach. Now if Teri and I could only avoid the fight we seem to have at the start of every trip.

Oh, Baby what I have to look foward to

I have always felt that when it was time for the girls to start dating, somewhere around their sixteenth birthday, I hope, the attention of boys would not bother me. The problem is I remember being a boy around that age and their was a lot that went on that I felt parents didn't know about and shouldn't.
I don't know if I can deal with that. I'm not sure I can deal with boy being interested in our girls.

   When they had 'boyfriends' before it was childish and silly. Now it is starting to be serious to me. I don't know how they feel. To me every boy is only safe if he is a eunuch. And only if he stays ten feet away from her. I know I am not the first or the last to go through this, but I have only been a parent for four years and I was just getting the hang of it and now all the rules are changing again. If we all live through the next about twelve years and I know they will be safe out in the real world then I can relax a little.
   Nastia and Elena went bike riding and that jerk with the guitar and the amp was there again. Really what guy brings a guitar to a park? A guy looking for girls! Right, and Nastia the next slow hand (yes all you non-baby boomers are going to have to look that one up, I'm pissed.)  is attracted to him like he was covered in it and she's a fly. The first time he was there he said she could play his guitar, she must of asked, she always does. Doesn't matter how many times we say not to, she does. Today she sends Elena who says they are going to talk to some of Elena's friends. I was trying to be a more reasonable father so I gave some vague answer and she ran off all happy telling Nastia it was all right to do it. I didn't like it, but I felt they were safe.

  The incident that caused me to let them hang out with Cool Hand Luke ( ya, no musical reference, it just sounds good. For all you scratching your heads it's a Paul Newman southern jail movie with the famous line "We have a failure to communicate here" or something like that. Great movie with George Kennedy. The warden who said the line great character actor, forgot his name.) happened when they were walking to the park and two boys walked with them for a short while, I was a block back. Nastia let one of them jump her bike, get it up in the air. By the time I got there they were gone. I didn't like from the time they all started walking together. And I didn't like him riding her bike. But I realized how much of I jerk I was being so, I said nothing and I let them hang out with Guitar Hero. That's the one I like best.

Elenapalozza 2013 or how to get two home runs at miniture golf.

Elena's birthday was yesterday. She turned thirteen, though she has been acting like a teenager for months now. Originally Teri was to work and so we scheduled everything around it. Then the person running the show changes everything and it was put off for at least a week.

   We put the Dinosaur park off until next week. We had planned to have Jessica, her friend for a sleep over, that was still on and Teri had a plan to go out to dinner where she wanted and to go to miniature golf. We started at the Monster Miniature golf in Nanuet. There were five of us, which seemed too many if you tried to keep it organized and keep score. At the half way point I gave up and only kept Teri and My score, letting the three girls go on ahead and do what they wanted to do. After a little while I quite doing Teri's score and just kept mine. Things moved along quickly and Elena came over to me twice to tell me she got a home run. I was laughing and didn't bother asking what she meant. Everyone seemed to have fun and it was over in less then an hour. Elena was complaining about not getting a chance to play the arcade games at Monster miniature golf,

Field Station Dinosaur a week later

   We went to Nanuet Restaurant for pizza and I got beer which made it like it was my birthday. We ordered three pizzas, because Nanuet Restaurant's pizzas are a little smaller then a regular large. We had a good time we stayed for about an hour and then someone said can we go for ice cream? It was left up to me and for some reason I said yes. We went over to King Kone in Pearl River. Nastia got a ton of napkins and some ice cream to go with that. She can be so messy sometimes. Elena got a cone and so did Jessica. We ate too much, had some fun I drank beer. Elena got presents and Elenapalozza ended with a sleepover and me feeling like I ate enough for two days.

  Day two of Elenapalozza was a more muted affair, with chocolate chip pancakes and sausages for breakfast and about two or so chips, dips and cake. It is six in the evening and the house is back to normal. Teri and I brace for another lousy week at work and the girls look forward to three weeks of boredom until school. Life is good.

What We got

This was written in the spring. I forgot I wrote it.
Teri works very hard and she brings home 60% of what we live on.
   Today the girls invited over a friend from school. I heard this later, but when she looked out the backdoor and saw the pool and the trampoline she went wow.
   It makes me feel sad and not very gracious. I and sometimes Teri look at where we live and say where does all the money go? Why can't we afford to fix up this house. I want a wrap around porch, I want a bathroom on the first floor and it has to have a heated floor and those little shower jets and all this other crap and this is not right. Then someone comes over and goes wow,,,and you start to think what is wrong with me. Have I forgotten to look at the trees because of the forest? You grow up to do better then your parents did. My Mom started working after we all had finished grade school. Teri and I both work at jobs that I feel pay pretty well, I guess not well enough if I think its not good enough. I feel lucky to have the job I do and get the salary I do. There are people out there now who can't find jobs and I just left I job and went to another because my boss was driving me crazy. I got a raise too and I'm very happy. I don't want to make this a big pitty party for me, it's just when people come over your house and go wow it's, hell I've been there. Since we adopted the girls we have moved in some heady circles and the people have all been real nice. I guess I just never felt we had a wow house. We do have a wow story to tell.

Over Protective Papa

From two Sundays ago

I got home early today. The Girls had ESL, which ended around noon and Elena lately said she was bored, so I took them bike riding down at Conger's Lake. We walked the bikes down to the entrance near the pizza parlor, they got on their bikes and rode them until they got to the parking lot in Valley Cottage end of the park and they rode back, about a mile one way. They did it a second time. After that I noticed Nasta riding back and forth where I was. she said she was tired. I noticed the group of boys. One time I called her over and asked her if they were bothering her. She said no and I also asked if they were being respectful. Again she said yes. She rode past them several times. On the last time her and her sister together went towards Valley Cottage. The boys about five or so followed, so did I. I was walking quickly, as I walked I was thinking of what to say when I got there and nothing was happening. I went around a turn and up ahead their bikes were neatly parked along the side of the path. There was no sign of them or the boys. I saw one slip into a break in the bushes and heard voices. I thought I heard Elena say get your hands off me. Later Nasta said she never said that. She also said she never cursed at her sister when they bumped into each other near the boys, I heard that one and she said it never happened. She tells lies.


October 2008

   Some people were looking toward the bushes with concern on their faces.  I followed the boy into the brush getting myself all worked up. Without thinking what I was going to do I came on the group of them and quickly figured I needed to scare them good. SO in my mean bully voice I said " What the f..k is going on here". I got one or two to quickly explain what happened. When I heard what was going on and Nasta said it didn't happen that way. (Got a problem here with her and lies.) I put my hand up to the kid who was taking and said it was OK. I told him that as he met more girls he would meet more overly protective fathers like me. We left and I would not let the girls ride in that section of the park any more. The chain came off on one of their bikes, so I ran down the other end of the park concerned at what they had gotten into this time. That was my excuse to end the fun and we went home.
  I try to have an open relationship about sex with the girls. When we got home I asked both girls to come sit with me in the living room, they asked if they were in trouble and I said a little. I proceeded to explain why girls should not go into bushes with groups of boys. I used words like One would cover your mouth. Another would hold your arms one on each leg while the last one pulls off your clothes and has sex with you whether you want to or not. It's not all boys just some. They giggled from nerves, which is what they do. I want to protect them but not make them scared. It's a tough middle ground. They want to be trusted. Nasta asked when will she be allowed to go out with her friends alone? I said soon, not today or tomorrow, maybe not next week. She asks will it be before I'm fifteen? I said don't know , it will be when it feels right. We get one wrong in this area and I will never forgive myself.
   Walking away from the boys I look over at the two of them and say get used to that scene, you will see it again and again. Usually Nasta gives me the are you really going to do that look, and then says it. This time she didn't, maybe she liked the feeling of protection. I realize even more now how much they don't know. Are all girls that unknowing and innocent? Or do I just think that little of my sex? Over the years we have not been that honorable.

Parenting

Parenting was different in my parents houses from the way we were raised and from the way we now are attempting to raise our kids.
  My Dad was only involved in raising us in a major way while we were young. I don't know if Eric or Ruth remember him being that involved. He was raised by two parents until he was about nine. His Mom died from a miscarriage, I was told. His father was a raging alcoholic until the fifties when he gave it up. My Mom will tell you he was a sweet heart while she knew him. Others will disagree.

1963

   I remember my Dad coming into our room, Karl's and mine, the back bedroom on the right side, with his belt off swing it in a rage, even calling us little bastards. Once he nailed the window shut, when we had it open during the winter for a little fresh air. It stayed nailed shut until one day, months later the nail seemed a little loose and I took them out hoping he would not notice.
   My Mom was a hitter when we, Karl and I, were younger. I remember the day she sat me down on the lower bunk bed (All memoirs are subject to embellishment) after I had done something wrong and told me she was not going to hit anymore. It was the way she was raised and she wanted things to be different.
   My Mom was also raised by a raging alcoholic and she also lost her mom at an early age, about twelve, to TB. Her Aunt, her mom's sister invited her to New York for a trip and I don't know if she ever went back. She married at about nineteen and Karl was born shortly after.
   All of this back round leads up to the heart of this story, how I raise my kids. I say I because I have different opinions from Teri on how it is done. I sometimes think Teri would love to wrap them up in bubble wrap and let nothing happen to them. I on the other hand will say to them after they have fallen off their bike or something, walk it off. I have been told I sound uncaring. Just the opposite, I care very deeply, I just don't think the little things are big enough to get upset over, because they will happen. This is not a column to bash Teri. She was the one who saved her father's life at least twice and she is the one I'm counting on to do it for me.

1955

   I admire the way my brother Karl never curses in front of Kristen. I would of liked to have done that, notice the past tense. I get so wound up some times that I can't help it. And now my daughters are starting to curse in front of me. If I had cursed in front of my Dad, I would of gotten the back of his hand across my mouth, when I was younger I did get my mouth washed out with soap by my mom. Even now I rarely curse in front of my Mom. Some of it is respect, but most of it is up bringing.
   I admire the way my sister worked through the problems she had with her boys, to the point they are something to be very proud of. We grew up in an environment, and I'm not saying it was bad, it's just the way it was. If you got something and it broke, you fixed it. If you couldn't fix it, then you made due. I do it a lot of times now. I was given a radio about a dozen years ago by my Mother. I wanted a radio that got TV stations so I could listen to TV in the shower. Several years ago TV went digital, so that ended, but I kept the radio and listened to it while I showered, even after the tuner started going on it. For all of you 21st century types that is the thing you turned to get the stations. This radio was predigital. Anyway when it started to fade in and out a few years ago I made due.
I always admired the fact that none of my brothers or sister ever made due and I always thought that would be my biggest challenge raising kids. I was wrong, it was and is my temper. I thought I had put that monster to bed years ago, then one day out of the blue I am screaming at the top of my lungs at the girls. I know some of you have noticed, come on now raise those hands...Good, now that's better, doesn't it feel good to get it out and you see I do know you know and I am working on it and I am getting better. Every time I think I gotten over it I find myself screaming at them for something stupid. Even in that I am better. I will sometimes tell them it is stupid or I will go back later and tell them they did not deserve that. Sometimes I even tell them I'm in a bad mood don't push me.

   All my brothers and sister's kids are all well behaved and people to be proud of.
   Karl and Madeline di a wonderful job on Kristen. Eric and Lynn did fabulous jobs on their kids. And Ruth all by herself raised two gentlemen who will make fine men. I still don't know how my mother raised four kids and remained sane. She also manages to stay out of quarrels between us for better or worse.
   Considering the long road traveled, it is a miracle any of us ever had kids much less raised them well. Yes the jury is still out on my family. My Girls are doing well, is that inspite of me or ...?

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I might pt2

 

 

 

The girls knew it was Sunday and when three came around they told me it was time to go bike riding. Earlier in the day I got Elena's front tire fixed. It was dry rotted and it broke and the tube went flat. Plus it was time for both of them to ride as much as they wanted. The tire I got her was for a mountain bike, it was all knobby, but she wanted to ride her bike. We walked them down to the Elementary School and tried to ride on North Grant, a one way street. They were rusty. Elena got off one good ride and we went to the play ground. Where they mostly rode in circles.

       

 Earlier in the day we continued working on the pool. Over the winter the pillows in the pool popped and during hurricane Sandy the stuff on top of the cover went inside the pool, so yesterday I drained it and today the girls cleaned the old leaves and sticks out. Tomorrow we will fill it.

  

Your a Grand old flag, your a high flyin flag and forever in peace may you wave....

Thank You George M. Cohan played by Jimmy Cagney...
 Its hard to believe it is the end of June already. When I was younger summer began when we got out of school. I remember we came home from school, it was the last or near to the last day of school and it was a beautiful day. My Mom had opened the pool and it was ready to swim in, it was one of those magical moments you remember over the years. Hopefully years down the road the girls will remember opening the pool and having to empty it and gather up all the leaves.
   Conger's Fire Department held it's annual carnival at the end of June. It is something that the Girls have begun to look forward to. That is already beginning to change. We bought the girls wrist bands at $25.00 each, they went on each ride once and then wanted to got play games. We made them go on more rides, but you could tell it wasn't like two years ago when they went on the big slide more then two dozen times. They are already starting to grow up, and we just got them.


Russia before adoption

  The big treat for Teri and I was fried Oreos. It is this warm sweet, slightly crunchy blob of dough filled with a soft sweet Oreo cookie. They were good. Don't eat them cold because they are not as good. It was a short evening.
   The next night we went to the fireworks, they started at 9:45. Before we left someone drove upon to the side lawn next to my car. I was called by Nasta and went out to tell them to get off the lawn. I said loudly to the person and not to nicely that it is not a parking lot and they have to move. It turned out to be Tasha and her Mom. Vasante had told her daughter to call to let us know who was doing this, Tasha called Nancy thinking she was here. Everyone got a big laugh over this.


   We bought folding beach chairs with us and started walking down the street. The road was closed and it was full of people. A lot were not at the carnival, but the carnival was packed. We walked past the pizza parlor, toward the gas station. There was some safety tape put up across the gas station and the next two parking lots. We get down to the place where we sat last year. Someone was there already. We decided to sit in the road near the safety tape. We were there no more then five minutes when the show began. Nothing will compare to the fireworks set off at Disney over the Christmas Vacation we were there, but these were nice. After a minute or so I start swatting at mosquitoes. Then one of the Girls goes 'ouch' and rubes her eye. It was a cinder from a rocket. Then a piece of paper flutters down and we notice there are no mosquitoes we are in the fall out zone and we are being pelted by cinders and bites of paper. Your shoulder or your lap would get covered in debris and you would brush it off like dandruff.
  At the end of the show the chairs had little piles of ash in them that we swept out. It was a different night and now we all know why that tape is there and why you should not sit even near it.

Bicycle, bicycle, I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I might*

* or something like that, thank you Freddie Mercury and Queen

Yes we are back to stealing lines to songs from long dead bands. The scary thing is I was alive when Jim Morrison was alive and I can remember when he died. And I always thought Freddie Mercury was bi not just gay. Live and learn and yes that is the theme to this blog. The young ladies started to learn to ride two wheelers this spring. I was trying to be a better father and human being, like I talked about in the last blog, so when they asked me to teach them to ride two wheelers, I told them that we would do it on Sunday at three. I thought by that time I would want to get away from yard work and do something else. When they came to me at three I was not ready to stop, but I did. We found Elena's bike had a chunk out of the tire and it was flat. That was actually good, we only needed one bike. Each girl needed me to hold them up and run along side them or they fell over.
They kept asking how I learned to ride a two wheeler? I don't have very many memories of my Dad that don't include working, but when I was young he was involved in our lives. When I say our lives I mean Karl and mine. I don't know if Ruth and Eric have memories like this one.

   I had ridden a bike with training wheels for a few years and one spring day my Dad took the wheels off. I don't know if I asked or he just did. I got one the bike and he told me to peddle really hard. He ran along side of me for a little way and then let go. I peddled as hard as I could for I don't know how long. I was afraid to stop figuring I would fall down. I guess eventually I did slow down and didn't fall because when the girls made a comment that I didn't know how to ride I bike I got on it and rode away leaving them amazed and running after me telling me to stop, which I didn't, would you?
   The first Sunday I got a good work out running up and down the side street near Conger Elementary. Every time I let go they would wobble and if I missed they would fall which they did a few times. The second week Nastia went into some pricker bushes and after that we went over to the field and the basketball courts at the school. Each week they got better. That didn't stop them from saying when are we going to be able to ride our bikes, it's never going to happen. I would point out that last week I had to hold them on the bikes and this week they went a little ways without me touching them. Finally on the third week Elena got off a good ride far into the grass. Then her sister did the same thing.

   On the fourth week they were practicing starting from standing still to going. They had come a long way very fast and I'm sure they did not see it that way. Tomorrow they will go out with two bikes, if I get Elena's fixed and they will need little or no help from me. By the end of June or maybe even by the middle of June they will be going to Rockland lake riding the trail on their own, just not on a weekend when it is busy and maybe they should wear life jackets they will get closer to the water and it was only last week they both ran into the elementary school building. Maybe we don't rush things.

 The Trip, the best part is the trip….

Again Thank You Jim Morrison. And again this time the sentiment still sucks. Trips with the family are not fun. They are long and full of please be quit, get off my seat belt, what you have to go to the bathroom again? You get the picture.

Our adventure started early. The girls went to school and I went to work Teri took Nancy and Amanda to Nyack to do what they do and they were going to take care of the dogs. 

Outside the Consulate for another one of those pictures

   The Girls had lunch at noon and one pm. I figured I would pick them up about one or so and we would leave as soon as possible. I figured about two-thirty or so. I had to go to Chatham after going to Elmsford NY to do collections. I finished in New City about two after going to Wallington NJ to drop off the collections. I pick up the girls at around two and change and we get out of the house a little after three.

  Traffic was heavy and Teri drove. About an hour into the four hour trip Teri asks if anyone has to go and Elena like always needed to. We get off near Princeton and get stuck in traffic. Finally we get to a Walgreens and get to use the bathroom and get some shampoo.

We get back on the road, somewhere north of Baltimore we try to get some dinner.  We leave RT 95 and try to get food at a Cracker barrel. It was packed. We then try to go to Apple bees and Teri misses the turn off so we end up going back on RT 95 south. We get to Washington a little after eight and proceed to try and find the hotel. We drive around a three block area for twenty minutes before Teri says to call the hotel. We get the correct address and then proceed to drive past the hotel four times looking for parking. On the fifth time I get out and ask where parking is. I am told it is valet and only thirty-three dollars a night. It would be cheaper to bring the car into the room, but they caught us so we paid the parking. We then went up to the second floor to check in. That made me wonder what is on the first floor? We ate in the Hotel. Beer was ten dollars a bottle and it was pub food.  Everything in Washington  DC I guess is going to be like this. Everyone in Washington wants to separate you from your money. Elected official or business person. What the  F….

At the Russian Consulate

The second Boston Marathon bomber was caught last night while we were heading to Washington. I wonder in ten years when this is read will anyone remember the brothers who were born in Chechnya and at ten came over to America and at least one became a citizen of America. That is the thing that I will never understand. They were here for over ten years taking advantage of what America has to offer and then so quickly turning their backs on it all. So sad, one is dead and the other will most likely spend the rest of his life in jail if he does not get the death penalty.

Touring the Capital

   The girls and Teri are down at the pool. It is my turn soon to relieve her so she can get ready to do a little sight-seeing before the Russian Embassy.
 I never did talk about the reason for the trip and that was to show solidarity for the Russian orphans that will never be adopted after the Russian government stopped all Americans from future adoptions. It was a tit for tat thing. America commented on Russian human rights and Russia seizes on a nut case who manages to adopt a Russian child and the child dies. I am not taking it lightly, it's just what about all the good adoptions that have happened. Foreigners are the last in line to adopt these kids and a Russian family can step in at anytime to adopt one of these children and they don't. Only the children suffer. Well it's the Russian way. State first, individual last.

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