Wild, wild, wildwood beach...*

*Bobby Rydel, The school in the musical 'Grease' was named after him. Learn something new every day.

Went to the beach Wednesday, Thursday and came home Friday. We went to Wildwood. I haven't been there since the early 1980's and we went to the Crest then. The family section with their hotels on the beach looking like Miami beach.

After the rain from our room

   Wildwood, I  guess is the older, more usual Jersey shore that you would see if you went to Seaside or Point Pleasant. It has the Boardwalk, where the crest I think didn't. It has its old hotels mixed in with houses and converted houses to hotels. We stayed in an old hotel, that had seen it's better days. The decor was from the nineteen-sixties or seventies. Which was the last time the neon sign was painted. It most likely hasn't been working in a few decades either. The carpet going up the stairs was worn and the rooms smelled. If we went for a nicer place we might of not been able to go. We are a little stretched from last years adoption attempt.
We left on time or close to it on Thursday, stopped for lunch at a rest stop south of exit 126 where Teri and I had a little argument. I have had time to think about this incident and I have a better view of it now then I did when it happened almost two weeks ago.

Our Wildwood Beach Camp site

  We hit the rest stop and everyone went to the bathroom and I got out quicker then the girls so I got on line at the Burger King, about eight people behind Nancy. I saw Teri come out of the crowd and I could see she wasn't happy. This is were it gets, oh I don't know, guess we have a difference of opinion over how things go. I lived for many years alone so I do things on my own. I figured out of the bathroom, get on line and get food and eat and go. No waste of time. When I see her I  get off of the line because I know she has a problem with something I did. She was concerned when I wasn't waiting in front of the bathrooms. She thought something could of happened to me and was concerned. It was one of those fights that just seem to jump out of nowhere and bit you and leave you wondering how it happened.
   We get down to the Hotel around four in the afternoon. We load the cart with all our beach junk

and head to the beach. The Beach at Wildwood must be a quarter of a mile wide from boardwalk to water. It is flat from the water to as far as I could see in the west. If last years hurricane had hit it would of flooded in land for a few miles. The tide goes in and out so far that the life guard has to move his stand several times a day. Maybe all of them do. You could be sitting at waters edge in the morning and by late afternoon it could be a walk to the water. I watched the girls go what I thought was real far out in the water then stand up and be now more then waist deep. It rained on the Friday and hard, but only a few minutes, the roads were flooded out. By after dinner it was mostly gone.
   For Dinner the first night we went to an Italian restaurant the food was good. The second night I said lets go to a place in Wildwood Crest that sounded good, but instead we walked to a buffet restaurant that was pretty good to.

   Except for the rain on Thursday night for about twenty minutes the weather was great. We went to the beach on Friday stayed until about two three in the afternoon. We grabbed something to eat at McDonalds and went home. Before we did that the girls got Fiddler Crabs for twenty dollars each. I didn't want them to but gave in when Elena's attitude improved on Thursday. They played with them, took them everywhere for a day or two and now almost two weeks later I haven't seem them or even thought of them in about ten days. I hope they are OK.
   It was another fun trip to the beach. Now if Teri and I could only avoid the fight we seem to have at the start of every trip.

Oh, Baby what I have to look foward to

I have always felt that when it was time for the girls to start dating, somewhere around their sixteenth birthday, I hope, the attention of boys would not bother me. The problem is I remember being a boy around that age and their was a lot that went on that I felt parents didn't know about and shouldn't.
I don't know if I can deal with that. I'm not sure I can deal with boy being interested in our girls.

   When they had 'boyfriends' before it was childish and silly. Now it is starting to be serious to me. I don't know how they feel. To me every boy is only safe if he is a eunuch. And only if he stays ten feet away from her. I know I am not the first or the last to go through this, but I have only been a parent for four years and I was just getting the hang of it and now all the rules are changing again. If we all live through the next about twelve years and I know they will be safe out in the real world then I can relax a little.
   Nastia and Elena went bike riding and that jerk with the guitar and the amp was there again. Really what guy brings a guitar to a park? A guy looking for girls! Right, and Nastia the next slow hand (yes all you non-baby boomers are going to have to look that one up, I'm pissed.)  is attracted to him like he was covered in it and she's a fly. The first time he was there he said she could play his guitar, she must of asked, she always does. Doesn't matter how many times we say not to, she does. Today she sends Elena who says they are going to talk to some of Elena's friends. I was trying to be a more reasonable father so I gave some vague answer and she ran off all happy telling Nastia it was all right to do it. I didn't like it, but I felt they were safe.

  The incident that caused me to let them hang out with Cool Hand Luke ( ya, no musical reference, it just sounds good. For all you scratching your heads it's a Paul Newman southern jail movie with the famous line "We have a failure to communicate here" or something like that. Great movie with George Kennedy. The warden who said the line great character actor, forgot his name.) happened when they were walking to the park and two boys walked with them for a short while, I was a block back. Nastia let one of them jump her bike, get it up in the air. By the time I got there they were gone. I didn't like from the time they all started walking together. And I didn't like him riding her bike. But I realized how much of I jerk I was being so, I said nothing and I let them hang out with Guitar Hero. That's the one I like best.

Elenapalozza 2013 or how to get two home runs at miniture golf.

Elena's birthday was yesterday. She turned thirteen, though she has been acting like a teenager for months now. Originally Teri was to work and so we scheduled everything around it. Then the person running the show changes everything and it was put off for at least a week.

   We put the Dinosaur park off until next week. We had planned to have Jessica, her friend for a sleep over, that was still on and Teri had a plan to go out to dinner where she wanted and to go to miniature golf. We started at the Monster Miniature golf in Nanuet. There were five of us, which seemed too many if you tried to keep it organized and keep score. At the half way point I gave up and only kept Teri and My score, letting the three girls go on ahead and do what they wanted to do. After a little while I quite doing Teri's score and just kept mine. Things moved along quickly and Elena came over to me twice to tell me she got a home run. I was laughing and didn't bother asking what she meant. Everyone seemed to have fun and it was over in less then an hour. Elena was complaining about not getting a chance to play the arcade games at Monster miniature golf,

Field Station Dinosaur a week later

   We went to Nanuet Restaurant for pizza and I got beer which made it like it was my birthday. We ordered three pizzas, because Nanuet Restaurant's pizzas are a little smaller then a regular large. We had a good time we stayed for about an hour and then someone said can we go for ice cream? It was left up to me and for some reason I said yes. We went over to King Kone in Pearl River. Nastia got a ton of napkins and some ice cream to go with that. She can be so messy sometimes. Elena got a cone and so did Jessica. We ate too much, had some fun I drank beer. Elena got presents and Elenapalozza ended with a sleepover and me feeling like I ate enough for two days.

  Day two of Elenapalozza was a more muted affair, with chocolate chip pancakes and sausages for breakfast and about two or so chips, dips and cake. It is six in the evening and the house is back to normal. Teri and I brace for another lousy week at work and the girls look forward to three weeks of boredom until school. Life is good.

What We got

This was written in the spring. I forgot I wrote it.
Teri works very hard and she brings home 60% of what we live on.
   Today the girls invited over a friend from school. I heard this later, but when she looked out the backdoor and saw the pool and the trampoline she went wow.
   It makes me feel sad and not very gracious. I and sometimes Teri look at where we live and say where does all the money go? Why can't we afford to fix up this house. I want a wrap around porch, I want a bathroom on the first floor and it has to have a heated floor and those little shower jets and all this other crap and this is not right. Then someone comes over and goes wow,,,and you start to think what is wrong with me. Have I forgotten to look at the trees because of the forest? You grow up to do better then your parents did. My Mom started working after we all had finished grade school. Teri and I both work at jobs that I feel pay pretty well, I guess not well enough if I think its not good enough. I feel lucky to have the job I do and get the salary I do. There are people out there now who can't find jobs and I just left I job and went to another because my boss was driving me crazy. I got a raise too and I'm very happy. I don't want to make this a big pitty party for me, it's just when people come over your house and go wow it's, hell I've been there. Since we adopted the girls we have moved in some heady circles and the people have all been real nice. I guess I just never felt we had a wow house. We do have a wow story to tell.

Over Protective Papa

From two Sundays ago

I got home early today. The Girls had ESL, which ended around noon and Elena lately said she was bored, so I took them bike riding down at Conger's Lake. We walked the bikes down to the entrance near the pizza parlor, they got on their bikes and rode them until they got to the parking lot in Valley Cottage end of the park and they rode back, about a mile one way. They did it a second time. After that I noticed Nasta riding back and forth where I was. she said she was tired. I noticed the group of boys. One time I called her over and asked her if they were bothering her. She said no and I also asked if they were being respectful. Again she said yes. She rode past them several times. On the last time her and her sister together went towards Valley Cottage. The boys about five or so followed, so did I. I was walking quickly, as I walked I was thinking of what to say when I got there and nothing was happening. I went around a turn and up ahead their bikes were neatly parked along the side of the path. There was no sign of them or the boys. I saw one slip into a break in the bushes and heard voices. I thought I heard Elena say get your hands off me. Later Nasta said she never said that. She also said she never cursed at her sister when they bumped into each other near the boys, I heard that one and she said it never happened. She tells lies.


October 2008

   Some people were looking toward the bushes with concern on their faces.  I followed the boy into the brush getting myself all worked up. Without thinking what I was going to do I came on the group of them and quickly figured I needed to scare them good. SO in my mean bully voice I said " What the f..k is going on here". I got one or two to quickly explain what happened. When I heard what was going on and Nasta said it didn't happen that way. (Got a problem here with her and lies.) I put my hand up to the kid who was taking and said it was OK. I told him that as he met more girls he would meet more overly protective fathers like me. We left and I would not let the girls ride in that section of the park any more. The chain came off on one of their bikes, so I ran down the other end of the park concerned at what they had gotten into this time. That was my excuse to end the fun and we went home.
  I try to have an open relationship about sex with the girls. When we got home I asked both girls to come sit with me in the living room, they asked if they were in trouble and I said a little. I proceeded to explain why girls should not go into bushes with groups of boys. I used words like One would cover your mouth. Another would hold your arms one on each leg while the last one pulls off your clothes and has sex with you whether you want to or not. It's not all boys just some. They giggled from nerves, which is what they do. I want to protect them but not make them scared. It's a tough middle ground. They want to be trusted. Nasta asked when will she be allowed to go out with her friends alone? I said soon, not today or tomorrow, maybe not next week. She asks will it be before I'm fifteen? I said don't know , it will be when it feels right. We get one wrong in this area and I will never forgive myself.
   Walking away from the boys I look over at the two of them and say get used to that scene, you will see it again and again. Usually Nasta gives me the are you really going to do that look, and then says it. This time she didn't, maybe she liked the feeling of protection. I realize even more now how much they don't know. Are all girls that unknowing and innocent? Or do I just think that little of my sex? Over the years we have not been that honorable.

Parenting

Parenting was different in my parents houses from the way we were raised and from the way we now are attempting to raise our kids.
  My Dad was only involved in raising us in a major way while we were young. I don't know if Eric or Ruth remember him being that involved. He was raised by two parents until he was about nine. His Mom died from a miscarriage, I was told. His father was a raging alcoholic until the fifties when he gave it up. My Mom will tell you he was a sweet heart while she knew him. Others will disagree.

1963

   I remember my Dad coming into our room, Karl's and mine, the back bedroom on the right side, with his belt off swing it in a rage, even calling us little bastards. Once he nailed the window shut, when we had it open during the winter for a little fresh air. It stayed nailed shut until one day, months later the nail seemed a little loose and I took them out hoping he would not notice.
   My Mom was a hitter when we, Karl and I, were younger. I remember the day she sat me down on the lower bunk bed (All memoirs are subject to embellishment) after I had done something wrong and told me she was not going to hit anymore. It was the way she was raised and she wanted things to be different.
   My Mom was also raised by a raging alcoholic and she also lost her mom at an early age, about twelve, to TB. Her Aunt, her mom's sister invited her to New York for a trip and I don't know if she ever went back. She married at about nineteen and Karl was born shortly after.
   All of this back round leads up to the heart of this story, how I raise my kids. I say I because I have different opinions from Teri on how it is done. I sometimes think Teri would love to wrap them up in bubble wrap and let nothing happen to them. I on the other hand will say to them after they have fallen off their bike or something, walk it off. I have been told I sound uncaring. Just the opposite, I care very deeply, I just don't think the little things are big enough to get upset over, because they will happen. This is not a column to bash Teri. She was the one who saved her father's life at least twice and she is the one I'm counting on to do it for me.

1955

   I admire the way my brother Karl never curses in front of Kristen. I would of liked to have done that, notice the past tense. I get so wound up some times that I can't help it. And now my daughters are starting to curse in front of me. If I had cursed in front of my Dad, I would of gotten the back of his hand across my mouth, when I was younger I did get my mouth washed out with soap by my mom. Even now I rarely curse in front of my Mom. Some of it is respect, but most of it is up bringing.
   I admire the way my sister worked through the problems she had with her boys, to the point they are something to be very proud of. We grew up in an environment, and I'm not saying it was bad, it's just the way it was. If you got something and it broke, you fixed it. If you couldn't fix it, then you made due. I do it a lot of times now. I was given a radio about a dozen years ago by my Mother. I wanted a radio that got TV stations so I could listen to TV in the shower. Several years ago TV went digital, so that ended, but I kept the radio and listened to it while I showered, even after the tuner started going on it. For all of you 21st century types that is the thing you turned to get the stations. This radio was predigital. Anyway when it started to fade in and out a few years ago I made due.
I always admired the fact that none of my brothers or sister ever made due and I always thought that would be my biggest challenge raising kids. I was wrong, it was and is my temper. I thought I had put that monster to bed years ago, then one day out of the blue I am screaming at the top of my lungs at the girls. I know some of you have noticed, come on now raise those hands...Good, now that's better, doesn't it feel good to get it out and you see I do know you know and I am working on it and I am getting better. Every time I think I gotten over it I find myself screaming at them for something stupid. Even in that I am better. I will sometimes tell them it is stupid or I will go back later and tell them they did not deserve that. Sometimes I even tell them I'm in a bad mood don't push me.

   All my brothers and sister's kids are all well behaved and people to be proud of.
   Karl and Madeline di a wonderful job on Kristen. Eric and Lynn did fabulous jobs on their kids. And Ruth all by herself raised two gentlemen who will make fine men. I still don't know how my mother raised four kids and remained sane. She also manages to stay out of quarrels between us for better or worse.
   Considering the long road traveled, it is a miracle any of us ever had kids much less raised them well. Yes the jury is still out on my family. My Girls are doing well, is that inspite of me or ...?

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I might pt2

 

 

 

The girls knew it was Sunday and when three came around they told me it was time to go bike riding. Earlier in the day I got Elena's front tire fixed. It was dry rotted and it broke and the tube went flat. Plus it was time for both of them to ride as much as they wanted. The tire I got her was for a mountain bike, it was all knobby, but she wanted to ride her bike. We walked them down to the Elementary School and tried to ride on North Grant, a one way street. They were rusty. Elena got off one good ride and we went to the play ground. Where they mostly rode in circles.

       

 Earlier in the day we continued working on the pool. Over the winter the pillows in the pool popped and during hurricane Sandy the stuff on top of the cover went inside the pool, so yesterday I drained it and today the girls cleaned the old leaves and sticks out. Tomorrow we will fill it.

  

Your a Grand old flag, your a high flyin flag and forever in peace may you wave....

Thank You George M. Cohan played by Jimmy Cagney...
 Its hard to believe it is the end of June already. When I was younger summer began when we got out of school. I remember we came home from school, it was the last or near to the last day of school and it was a beautiful day. My Mom had opened the pool and it was ready to swim in, it was one of those magical moments you remember over the years. Hopefully years down the road the girls will remember opening the pool and having to empty it and gather up all the leaves.
   Conger's Fire Department held it's annual carnival at the end of June. It is something that the Girls have begun to look forward to. That is already beginning to change. We bought the girls wrist bands at $25.00 each, they went on each ride once and then wanted to got play games. We made them go on more rides, but you could tell it wasn't like two years ago when they went on the big slide more then two dozen times. They are already starting to grow up, and we just got them.


Russia before adoption

  The big treat for Teri and I was fried Oreos. It is this warm sweet, slightly crunchy blob of dough filled with a soft sweet Oreo cookie. They were good. Don't eat them cold because they are not as good. It was a short evening.
   The next night we went to the fireworks, they started at 9:45. Before we left someone drove upon to the side lawn next to my car. I was called by Nasta and went out to tell them to get off the lawn. I said loudly to the person and not to nicely that it is not a parking lot and they have to move. It turned out to be Tasha and her Mom. Vasante had told her daughter to call to let us know who was doing this, Tasha called Nancy thinking she was here. Everyone got a big laugh over this.


   We bought folding beach chairs with us and started walking down the street. The road was closed and it was full of people. A lot were not at the carnival, but the carnival was packed. We walked past the pizza parlor, toward the gas station. There was some safety tape put up across the gas station and the next two parking lots. We get down to the place where we sat last year. Someone was there already. We decided to sit in the road near the safety tape. We were there no more then five minutes when the show began. Nothing will compare to the fireworks set off at Disney over the Christmas Vacation we were there, but these were nice. After a minute or so I start swatting at mosquitoes. Then one of the Girls goes 'ouch' and rubes her eye. It was a cinder from a rocket. Then a piece of paper flutters down and we notice there are no mosquitoes we are in the fall out zone and we are being pelted by cinders and bites of paper. Your shoulder or your lap would get covered in debris and you would brush it off like dandruff.
  At the end of the show the chairs had little piles of ash in them that we swept out. It was a different night and now we all know why that tape is there and why you should not sit even near it.

Bicycle, bicycle, I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I might*

* or something like that, thank you Freddie Mercury and Queen

Yes we are back to stealing lines to songs from long dead bands. The scary thing is I was alive when Jim Morrison was alive and I can remember when he died. And I always thought Freddie Mercury was bi not just gay. Live and learn and yes that is the theme to this blog. The young ladies started to learn to ride two wheelers this spring. I was trying to be a better father and human being, like I talked about in the last blog, so when they asked me to teach them to ride two wheelers, I told them that we would do it on Sunday at three. I thought by that time I would want to get away from yard work and do something else. When they came to me at three I was not ready to stop, but I did. We found Elena's bike had a chunk out of the tire and it was flat. That was actually good, we only needed one bike. Each girl needed me to hold them up and run along side them or they fell over.
They kept asking how I learned to ride a two wheeler? I don't have very many memories of my Dad that don't include working, but when I was young he was involved in our lives. When I say our lives I mean Karl and mine. I don't know if Ruth and Eric have memories like this one.

   I had ridden a bike with training wheels for a few years and one spring day my Dad took the wheels off. I don't know if I asked or he just did. I got one the bike and he told me to peddle really hard. He ran along side of me for a little way and then let go. I peddled as hard as I could for I don't know how long. I was afraid to stop figuring I would fall down. I guess eventually I did slow down and didn't fall because when the girls made a comment that I didn't know how to ride I bike I got on it and rode away leaving them amazed and running after me telling me to stop, which I didn't, would you?
   The first Sunday I got a good work out running up and down the side street near Conger Elementary. Every time I let go they would wobble and if I missed they would fall which they did a few times. The second week Nastia went into some pricker bushes and after that we went over to the field and the basketball courts at the school. Each week they got better. That didn't stop them from saying when are we going to be able to ride our bikes, it's never going to happen. I would point out that last week I had to hold them on the bikes and this week they went a little ways without me touching them. Finally on the third week Elena got off a good ride far into the grass. Then her sister did the same thing.

   On the fourth week they were practicing starting from standing still to going. They had come a long way very fast and I'm sure they did not see it that way. Tomorrow they will go out with two bikes, if I get Elena's fixed and they will need little or no help from me. By the end of June or maybe even by the middle of June they will be going to Rockland lake riding the trail on their own, just not on a weekend when it is busy and maybe they should wear life jackets they will get closer to the water and it was only last week they both ran into the elementary school building. Maybe we don't rush things.

 The Trip, the best part is the trip….

Again Thank You Jim Morrison. And again this time the sentiment still sucks. Trips with the family are not fun. They are long and full of please be quit, get off my seat belt, what you have to go to the bathroom again? You get the picture.

Our adventure started early. The girls went to school and I went to work Teri took Nancy and Amanda to Nyack to do what they do and they were going to take care of the dogs. 

Outside the Consulate for another one of those pictures

   The Girls had lunch at noon and one pm. I figured I would pick them up about one or so and we would leave as soon as possible. I figured about two-thirty or so. I had to go to Chatham after going to Elmsford NY to do collections. I finished in New City about two after going to Wallington NJ to drop off the collections. I pick up the girls at around two and change and we get out of the house a little after three.

  Traffic was heavy and Teri drove. About an hour into the four hour trip Teri asks if anyone has to go and Elena like always needed to. We get off near Princeton and get stuck in traffic. Finally we get to a Walgreens and get to use the bathroom and get some shampoo.

We get back on the road, somewhere north of Baltimore we try to get some dinner.  We leave RT 95 and try to get food at a Cracker barrel. It was packed. We then try to go to Apple bees and Teri misses the turn off so we end up going back on RT 95 south. We get to Washington a little after eight and proceed to try and find the hotel. We drive around a three block area for twenty minutes before Teri says to call the hotel. We get the correct address and then proceed to drive past the hotel four times looking for parking. On the fifth time I get out and ask where parking is. I am told it is valet and only thirty-three dollars a night. It would be cheaper to bring the car into the room, but they caught us so we paid the parking. We then went up to the second floor to check in. That made me wonder what is on the first floor? We ate in the Hotel. Beer was ten dollars a bottle and it was pub food.  Everything in Washington  DC I guess is going to be like this. Everyone in Washington wants to separate you from your money. Elected official or business person. What the  F….

At the Russian Consulate

The second Boston Marathon bomber was caught last night while we were heading to Washington. I wonder in ten years when this is read will anyone remember the brothers who were born in Chechnya and at ten came over to America and at least one became a citizen of America. That is the thing that I will never understand. They were here for over ten years taking advantage of what America has to offer and then so quickly turning their backs on it all. So sad, one is dead and the other will most likely spend the rest of his life in jail if he does not get the death penalty.

Touring the Capital

   The girls and Teri are down at the pool. It is my turn soon to relieve her so she can get ready to do a little sight-seeing before the Russian Embassy.
 I never did talk about the reason for the trip and that was to show solidarity for the Russian orphans that will never be adopted after the Russian government stopped all Americans from future adoptions. It was a tit for tat thing. America commented on Russian human rights and Russia seizes on a nut case who manages to adopt a Russian child and the child dies. I am not taking it lightly, it's just what about all the good adoptions that have happened. Foreigners are the last in line to adopt these kids and a Russian family can step in at anytime to adopt one of these children and they don't. Only the children suffer. Well it's the Russian way. State first, individual last.

Add caption

 

Wrestling and looking back

The girls finished up wrestling on Saturday with a big match. I didn't want things to go wrong and I'd only been to one other match so we went to North High School a little after noon for a match that was scheduled for one-thirty. It started after two. The Girls were bored and Elena started getting a little attitude. I had to bring her into the hall to talk to her about her attitude. It helped a little. While waiting for their matches they scarfed down about as much food, or seemed to as anyone could hold and not get sick. What helped the girls boredom more was wrestling, they called Nastia first and by the time she started they had called Elena. I videoed both. Elena's was very quick. She got pinned in about a minute. Nastia's went a little longer.

   The second round came about an hour later. It was a little longer, but both lost. The final match came around five and Nastia was called again first and she held out until the second round and Elena did the best.She was in the third round leading by a point,with under a minute to go. She is holding on to her opponent and let go of him and he got points for an escape or a reversal. I thought it might be over when Elena attacks and gets points for a take down and is leading by a point. He escapes and it is tied. She gets a point for something and is leading by a point with under fifteen seconds left. The coach is yelling 'don't let go don't let go' and yes she lets go again and he scores a point to win. She was very impressive in that last match.It seemed to come together at times for her. Nastia was good too, both seemed strong enough to compete, maybe a little stronger then you would think they are.
 
Before the match Elena was saying she was done with wrestling, after she was saying maybe she would do it again.
   I have been thinking about Leonid and Anna. About a week ago an adopted Russian boy about three years old died in Texas. The Russian government which cut off adoptions earlier this year for political reasons just got more ammunition and wants the boy's two year old brother back. The Russians claim it was child abuse. The boy had signs of being hit in the stomach. It's a bad thing even if their is no smoking gun. We might try and go to Washington DC for the Russian Embassy's open house or Easter celebration. I want to go but it costs money we don't really have.
  

A busy Friday

Teri and I took Friday off to go to the middle school to talk to a Psychologist about Elena.Elena has trouble paying attention in class and has issues with anger.
   We got in a little early so we could talk to Elena's chorus, Mrs McCabe. Teri was all wound up about only a few kids singing at the concert and was ready to defend Elena, if the teacher complained.
   Mrs McCabe was thrilled to death how Elena sang at the concert. I thought that she didn't really sing. Teri said the reason she sang was she had told Elena that if she did not sing she would come up on the stage and embarrass her. The teacher wanted to get more information to try and get Elena more engaged in class. I told her Elena felt everyone was watching her and Mrs. McCabe said that she was bringing on the attention on herself by things she did.
   The meeting was cut a little short because the Psychologist was waiting for us.He was a nice man. I thought we were going to talk to him after he finished talking to Elena, but he started with us getting all the background information we had.
   We talked about how Teri saw a story years ago about Russian adoptions and then a few years later after we gave up on Chinese adoption, Teri saw an add for Russian adoptions and wanted to look into it. I said no I was not interested. I was fifty years old and I was Uncle Joe and didn't think I had it in me to be Daddy. I let her go forward with it figuring that if I didn't help the process would weigh her down and she would give up.
   In May I received a call from the Cradle of Hope people telling us we had a choice of either two girls or a boy. The only reason we were given the choice was one of the girls was slightly retarded.  I received the call about the girls and I felt it was the hand of god telling me I had a part I needed to play in this. He asked me why I felt it was the hand of god. I said because they could not get in touch with my wife on any of her phone lines and they were able to get me in a bad cell area and when I called Teri I got right through. This story brought me to tears when I told the Psychologist.
   We talked for about an hour and he then talked to Elena and had her draw some pictures, She drew a picture of a dinosaurs eating a person while someone was trying to kill him. The second one had a shark that had killed a person and the third one had people with square heads and one that looked like a casket. The forth one was a cats head in heaven that he interpreted as her mother in heaven. All were violent and about death. So we are going to get her into Art therapy because that is the way she communicates the best. She doesn't talk to people willingly. I tried to talk to her today about her day with her friend and I got we saw the Hunger game ate pizza, and there is nothing else to talk about.
   After we left the school we went to Costco and spent over one-hundred dollars. does anyone ever get out of there for less? We were supposed to go to DMV her to deal with her dad's car, me for a clear title on my boat. we never made it there. We went out for lunch to Paneras, I had chicken . We did take the girls to a wrestling match, Elena's first one. Nastia was too old to wrestle. She played the good sport and cheered her sister on. Elena was in a three round robin match she lost the first one without scoring a point in less then one round. The second match, she scored a point and was pinned in less then a round. The third match she scored two points and lasted until almost the end of the match when she got pinned. It was a better outing every time she went out. After the first match I bought both girls a t-shirt to commemorate the day. Elena's said Yes I'm a girl and yes I'm an athlete and yes I'm a wrestler. Nastia's said who says girls can't wrestle this one can. The one I wanted to get both was We can still be friends even though I pinned your boyfriend.
   We were there from five until seven-thirty and we did not stay until the end. We left and went out for a delayed Valentines day dinner the four of us. It went well. The whole day. It wasn't much of a day off but it was mostly fun.

Snow storm February 2013

They predicted this storm for several day and everyone was prepared for it, well as much as you can be.
   The snow started very late Thursday and little or nothing had covered the ground when we recieved the 5am call that the girls would have a half day.
   When I was growing up the joke went if the superintendant looked out his window and didn't see enough snow you went to school.The punch line was he wintered in Florida.
  I got the girls into school for their extra help early morning class for the state tests in March and I went off to work. Teri had left several hours earlier. She is currently doing the work of at least three people there. She puts in so many hours that she is paid 1.98 an hour.

   I spent the day calling customers telling them we were going to be closed Saturday and open Sunday because of the storm.I also collected orders.Around 9:30 my mom gave me the first of several weather related phone calls. It was going to be worse north of where I was and I wanted to makeithome. Teri was working in Harrington Park and left for home around noon. The girls got home around the same time and I started for homeat two-thirty, arriving there at four. Traffic was slow, roads were not to bad.

   The girls were banned from Ipods, computers, TVs and the like for getting in trouble on the bus. The driver said Elena pushed Nastia off her seat into the driver. Nastia said she was sitting on her backpack and fell off it when the bus stopped. Offically they recieved two days detention for Nastia being pushed by Elena. Unoffically they were punished by us for sitting together when they were told not to and for Nastia being dumb enough to sit on her packpack.
   With no distractions the girls had no choice but to pull out a board game. I didn't want to play, but my punishment someone has to suffer. We played Sorry or a version of it since the girls had only saved the spanish version of the instructions and when I went on the internet I only breezed through the instructions.
   Saturday we cleared the driveway, and the walkway. The girls made a snowman that on Sunday the dog kept barking at from the window. The girls were two of three people at Karate and that night we had another family night and watched Here comes the boom with Kevin James.
   Sunday went quick. We went to the Home show in Suffern at 4pm had dinner. Elena and I played x-box world at war and she killed me several times. Once I emptied three clips and launched two gernades at her before she killed me. What a world...

The Angry Family at Christmas

Several years ago the program everyone loves Raymond was still running new shows. There was this one show where Ray's child draws a picture of what everyone things is their family and the child called it the angry family. the picture stuck with Teri and I.
   This year we decided, Me, with the backing I thought of the girls and went out to buy a Christmas tree, a real live one. Teri and I had a deal where every year we would switch back and forth between live and fake. One year about fifteen years ago I didn't want to spend the money,so we stayed with fake and it went on like that until the girls came and I thought they said they liked real trees. Yet it still took until this year to get one.
   We head out on a Saturday night about four about ten-twelve days before Christmas, yes we were late doing it, to buy a tree. Eric and Lynn said Pearl River had a place that sold trees for forty dollars, so we went. he was closed, but the guy just up the street was still open. We went through the trees there quickly. I felt like Teri didn't want to be there.
   Teri has lost both parents, her Uncle, both our dog and several relatives I don't remember over the past few years. It seems everyone goes through this at least one in a life time when a generation dies out. She had a big family.  don't remember the stages of grief, except for the stage of anger after my Dad died, I think Teri is going through that stage now. It's hitting home that her parents are not coming back.
   We get a tree and the guy in a questioning voice says fifty-five? Now that is a sure sign that he is unsure and will drop the price with a little pushing. It didn't seem Christmasie to do it so I just paid him. They wrapped the tree and loaded it on to car and we were off to eat dinner, at a Mexican restaurant called Cinco da Mayo over on Rt 303 in alley Cottage. We had a discount coupon from a Halloween thing over at North High school we won. Food was good and we fought a little, but it was not a bad dinner.
   Putting up the tree was another matter. I started by getting everything out and noticing the tree stand was missing an eye bolt, so Nastia and I went over to get one at Home Depot.
   The tree goes up and I start to take out 'the orniments', this is a collection of Hallmark ornaments that date back to when I moved out of my Mom's and began collect things to put on my tree. I have them in their original boxes and even some of the orginal paper work and what they were wrapped in. I can be real sick about somethings. Some my Mom gave me, but most I bought and ninety percent date from the nineties. I have started adding some to the collection that came off our Christmas tree when we were kids. They are cheap plastic and glass, but they now hold a place in my heart that they didn't back in the sixties when they were purchased. The first year I bought out 'the orniments' the girls opened them up threw the wrapping here and there and put them up. Ever since then I have only put some or none up. I've gotten a little weird about them I guess. I did see the first sign that maybe the girls do understand what they mean to me when we took the tree down and they were careful with the few that made it up on the tree and made sure they were packed in their correct boxes. I do hope that one day their grand kids will want them and feel the way I feel about the ornament that was from my Dad's tree when He was a kid. I try to take care of it and and give it a special place on the tree each year. Usually high up near the top where it won't get hit and broken. I've prepared myself for it's breaking. I don.t buy antiques any more because I broke so many of them.
   The reason only a few of 'the orniments' made it up on the tree this year was I got made at Teri. What the argument was, don't remember, it was that important. Teri and  argued over putting the bikes the girls got for Christmas together, o guy Amanda knew did it, I didn't have time. We argued over wrapping presents. Each year I promise to decorate the house, put up the tree early and try to enjoy the holiday's, in the past I called them the Hollow days. I hated Thanksgiving through my birthday (end of January) ( Yea, My birthday was part of the hollow days). Then I learned to enjoy Thanksgiving, I don't know what changed. Christmas was still a hard time. I can justbarely manage to buy gifts for Teri. I don't know if it is the fact that it is another mind set to stop and buy present or if I'm just lazy. Teri does all the gift buying. Maybe I'm just being my Dad, who usually got my sister to get presents for my mom. You do what you know.
   THis is still a blog about the girls and I have travelled very far afield today and before I give in to the desire to erase this I will stop and come back another time and talk about Nastia's birthday and New Years.

In the Mirror

Growing up I was not an easy child to parent. I thought I knew it all and I had no interest in school, yet I was there 99% of the time. I hated school so much that when I tried out for a sports team I had to fight myself to stay after school. I was an angry child who was quiet and people, kids picked on. I was big but my mother had taken fighting away from me fearing I would hurt someone. I'm sure your sitting there saying, Yeah, so what we all had it rough in school. To which I say Bull S.... You all couldn't of had it rough because there must of been someone who enjoyed making the other 99% of us feel like we were taking up space meant for them. But I get off my orginal thought. There must of been a time in everybodys life where your mother or father said that when you grow up I hope you have a child just like you. Mom, was I really that bad that I get it in Spades.
   I have a daughter who is a delight to be around ... sometimes. She can be really funny and charming and playful, but then, this she devil will come out or sometimes this winey little brat, or, oh I don't know, maybe it's Miss Puberty will stick her stinking little head up and turn my daugter into this creature who knows everything, won't listen, tells you well that's not the way it's do and so forth. I'm worn out she appeared tonight of course it was on a night when they had to be at wrestling and I decided to make swedish meatball with noodles and gravy and was in a hurry. This little devil showed it's head a little when she and I went over her math homework and she had done most of them  wrong, and like a fool, I actually tell her they are wrong. No there not Daddy, I did them with Mrs Lopez. Well I guess Mrs Lopez most of been on drugs because they are all wrong. No I did not say that but it just felt so good to think it I had to write it. It gets to the point where she would rather have her mother check it then me. I have been really working hard to keep my temper and not curse. Needless to say that was going out the window tonight.

before we adopted them

   When we got home I was going over her homework while trying to make gravy. Bad idea. Teri was on the phone with a co-worker who was being asked to commute from Orange county to New Rochelle. My Daughter and I go back and forth with the homework and I even go so far as to show her how it is done and she has the nerve to sit there and say. That might be right,but that's not the way I learned it. That would be fine but the way you are doing it gives you a wrong answer. I got to the point where I told her to go to bed as I threw the wadded up homework against the wall, where it proceeded to fall onto the table and roll up against some other papers like it was trying to hide. In addition to her not wanting to do the work ("It's really not homework", even though it said it in the corner) Her fighting me on the answers and when I show her it is right insisting it's not the way she does it and doubly on top of that her wining. I totally lost it. Now three hours later I am still so angry.
I invite her to come back and work with me ( You can go to bed, not water, no bathroom no dinner or do the work with me and have dinner) Do You know the little s... took a good two minutes to decide to come back and work with me. So You won''t think me a total heartless fool. I was trying to make one side so bad that she would simply and quickly decide to go back to work and work with me. It didn't work after a few minutes  started to get angry and told her to put it away and I want to see it corrected by the teacher tomorrow. If she go 75 or better I would say I am sorry. If on the other hand she gets a 30 or so, yes there were a few right answers She would be obligated to work my way and work harder, (Yea, right!)  God  help her she is just like me and I am very lucky to be where I am today. It was a long horrible trip to get here and it should of never been that tough, and she , both have already been through too much to continue along the path she is following. I never knew what would of make me want to learn when I was a kid. Now I love learning new stuff, usually useless information.

First Base, Second base and how I get into odd conversations with the Girls

Several weeks ago the girls and I were in the Palisades Center and Nastia asks me if I would really buy her and her sister t-shirts that said 'Guns don't kill people, Dads with Daughters do' when she has a boyfriend. And like any red blooded American Dad, who was young once and knows what goes on said of course I will. I will let them get to first base, but they better get thrown out if they try to steal second. For a second I forgot my audience and they ask me what is first base, and second ... I point at my lips and say first base, then at my chest and say second base. There my courage deserts me and I point toward the ground near my feet and maybe as high as my ankles and say third base. I don't talk about home.
   Elena, always a little more in tune with things that concern sex, which scares me, says third base is the va-jyn-ya. And then I say with all good grace that home is sex and they both get a good laugh at it all and then they ask why is it called first base, second base ...

Almost forgotten stories

I may have talked about this once before, but by telling it a second time I can embellish it and make it better. Do you know who said Details and facts don't matter when telling a good story? Your right and You were paying attention, it was me a few minutes ago.
   It was back when Elena was sorta sick. I say sorta because it was equal sick time. Nastia had been sick and Teri had been sick and I was tired of sick people, so when Elena said she was sick and her stomach hurt (good unprovable symptoms when you no longer have a thermometer, lost it and didn't like it anyway.) So I send her to bed, she chooses our bed, like her sister did and I go off to work. Unheard of until recently. I call my mother and ask her to fix the little sick girl lunch. After the fact my mother told me what happened. She went in and asked Elena if she was hungry and she was. Would she like a grilled cheese sandwich?She would. Some of the most vivid memories I have are her, my Mom fixing  grilled cheese sandwiches. She would butter the bread, most likely Wonder bread, put a slice of Velveeta cheese between two slices and brown the bread on a medium flame. Just about when it was finished her would flatten the sandwich down with the spatula. She would then cut it half and serve it up. Hot golden toasted bread with melted cheese in the middle, amazing goodness.
   Elena watches my mother, the women who taught me to make grilled cheese sandwiches and says : that's not the way to make grilled cheese, that's not the way Daddy does it. Yes, I did change the ingredients and due to time and fear of the butter going bad I seem to never have soft butter to spread on the bread so I melt it in the pan and I know to some purest that is not grilled cheese, its just toasted bread with cheese. Anyway Elena proceeds to tell Grammy how I make grilled cheese. How I melt the butter in the pan, put the bread on the melted butter, then cheese (sharp Cheddar, not Velveeta) and I don't like Wonder bread, I like a crusty dense bread, thicker the better.
   Grammy makes Elena, her sandwich and it is as good as ever. So alls well that ends well,I guess.

Holloween goes bust again

The Girls were looking forward to Halloween, last year we had that big snow storm, the only snow of the winter and it wasn't safe for them to go out. There were wires down and trees uprooted, leaning on wires, generally just a big mess. This year mother nature went one better. I'll get to that in a minute.

   On Friday the twenty-sixth, Elena's friend, Jessica says to her that there is going to be a haunted House at the North High School and would she like to go? She says her mother could pick her up. Teri and I said no. If she wanted to go we would take her over and that was because no one cleared it with us first.
   We went over a little late and paid the five dollars per person to go in. The Girls go through the haunted House several times, they try to win gifts, we put tickets in bags to win prizes and the girls get their faces painted.
    Elena's friend doesn't get there because they didn't have the money, that was very sad.         

    Saturday, the twenty-seventh we take the girls to the Halloween parade in Nyack. We get there a little early and set up on a curb. By the time the parade starts the crowd is ten feet into the street leaving just enough room for trucks to go by.
  We also are next to this little cow who takes candy from my daughters hand when they are given it out during the parade. Teri rightfully pointed out I could not confront the kid, it would go bad and I would look like the bully. I was going to talk to the mother but I wasn't sure that would work out well either. Either way this little cow has more problems then stealing candy from other kids.
  I have also decided I hate the parade. No one is in control keeping the crowds back and the parade itself wasn't fun. Too many businesses advertising and too many people walking without costumes and the crowds are full of annoying people. I don't want to go back next year, but I will for the girls.

   Over the weekend they kept talking about this storm that was coming up the coast and it was going to merge with then cold front and a low was going to make it come up the coast and everyone better get ready, and we did. When the storm hit Monday late the wind started blowing and the trees were swaying. Sometimes the wind blew so hard it was like a freight train blasting through. Jersey got destroyed, the city got hit with full moon flood tides and water backing up going over sea walls by over a foot and a half. One hundred and eleven houses burned in breezy point, near Kennedy Airport.
   We got high winds and very little rain. We lost a few tree limbs and power for a little over two days. I bit the bullet at the end of the second day and bought a generator, over paying by about 600.00 dollars. I figured I had that much in the refrigerator. After a day without power it was a relief to have power again.
   The first night without power the girls and Teri played monopoly while I put the generator together and plugged in some things. The second night we unplugged everything to watch a movie on the DVD player. About ten pm the power came back. They had predicted it to be out seven to ten days. If I didn't get the generator, I would not of trusted anything in the refrigerator or the freezer.
   The big problem now is getting gas. Lines in Northern New Jersey are miles long and my job didn't have enough gas to send out all it's trucks one day. It's been an interesting few days. I wonder what Gods got against Halloween these last two years?

Equal Time

Elena is up-stairs sick. Nastia was sick a few weeks ago and then Teri and both stated home. When Nastia stayed home for most of the week Elena was all bent out of shape.She kept saying that's not fair that she gets to stay home and I don't. She was a little bratty.
   There was a time when the girls where first here (2009-2010) that Elena had a cough and said she felt bad. this went on for almost two weeks for the first week she stayed home. Over the weekend she seemed to be OK until she went to bed then she would cough. This went on for the second week and it made Teri and I feel like we were bad parents. We didn't know what was wrong with her. After a while it seemed that she was looking for attention and forcing herself to cough. I think she did admit to it or we just started to ignore it after the start of the third week.
  We all went out for pizza last night an invitation for Harriett. My mom and Eric, Lynn and Dennis were there also. Everyone eat well. Elena had been coughing in the mornings since Friday. This morning she said her stomach hurt. I let it go. She ate a good breakfast and was ready to go to school.
   With Elena, I feel rightly or wrongly you have to be careful with her. When she is sick or not sick, you can't tell the difference. She loves the attention, the specialness of being sick. What kid didn't or doesn't. When she said her stomach felt bad I felt it was time to put her to bed. She isn't sick enough to stay home, but Teri and I had a big fight last night over how I treat Elena. She is very much like me and I very much don't want her to grow up like me and miss lots of opportunities because all she wants to do is have fun like I did. I've talked to her about this and I hope it sinks in before it is too late.
   I have made the decision to write in this blog more about my life so that the girls in the future will have an idea where I am coming from and why I do things and if this is boring to others sorry.

Upstate 2012

Have you ever gone some place and thought you'd been there before? Well it happened to me over the weekend.

   In 1966, my parents bought a farm in West Fulton, NY for about $9,000.00. A tighty sum back then. I remember my parents raiding Karl and my piggy banks of all the cash to help come up with the down payment. real story,mom I didn't make it up.
   Zoom a few years into the future and we are all in  our twenties and Karl and Eric are having a feud that will last several years.
   A few years later, my Dad has died and my mom decides she can't afford the property and divides it up among the children. Karl and Eric are still having problems, so He gets several acres to the east and Eric, Ruth and I get the house and the remaining property. Ruth is tired of fighting and wants little or nothing to do with it. It causes problems among the three of us, so my mother decides to sell the property and Eric is given first choice, because he has the money.

   Around this time I sell Muller Dairies and I try to give my mother the money she invested in the dairy and half of the sale price. I came up short, but in all of this I ended up giving my mother back the 10 grand for the farm.
   Move a few more years in the future and Eric tries to fix the foundation once and for all. One thing leads to another and after somewhere north of $50,000.00, a complete remake of the house setting it up for the next century, but it is no longer the house I have known for over 40 years. I'm not saying He did anything wrong in the restoration, it is just not the house I knew and I guess since I don't own it it don't matter. He put in  new windows, nice and big, insulated the wall, added heating and stoves, siding, new walls. The end of the house fell off the main section and he rebuilt it, all different. He moved the door, added windows and got rid of the wood shed. There is added space, but it seems smaller some how. There was no space to get away from people like there used to be.

   Now the girls had a fun time and they can't wait to go back again. Teri and I slept  in the new family room/kitchen/dining room. Nastia and Elena started out in the side bedroom off the dinning room. Elena kept tossing and turning some I moved Nastia to where we were sleeping. The next night Elena joined us and slept with her mother.
  It was raining and cold the whole weekend. The girls tried to go fishing and had no luck. They ran around with Dennis and his friend and had a good time. They played monopoly and I had to end it to send them to bed.
   We went to the Stone Fort in Middleburg and I had a good time. I think the girls were bored. They had different guns that they showed how they changed over the years. They had a Teddy Roosevelt impersonator. I only saw a few minutes but he was good.

   Someone challenged Nastia to walk down the driveway at night, she got maybe twenty feet before they came back. The next day both kids wanted to walk the driveway. They took a walkie-talkie with them. When they got to the end of the driveway, I went to pick them up and gave them both a driving lesson just like my mom did when we were young. I might have started Elena at twelve a little young, but I think she will remember it as will Nastia as I remember the first time my Dad let me move the car in the driveway.