In the Mirror

Growing up I was not an easy child to parent. I thought I knew it all and I had no interest in school, yet I was there 99% of the time. I hated school so much that when I tried out for a sports team I had to fight myself to stay after school. I was an angry child who was quiet and people, kids picked on. I was big but my mother had taken fighting away from me fearing I would hurt someone. I'm sure your sitting there saying, Yeah, so what we all had it rough in school. To which I say Bull S.... You all couldn't of had it rough because there must of been someone who enjoyed making the other 99% of us feel like we were taking up space meant for them. But I get off my orginal thought. There must of been a time in everybodys life where your mother or father said that when you grow up I hope you have a child just like you. Mom, was I really that bad that I get it in Spades.
   I have a daughter who is a delight to be around ... sometimes. She can be really funny and charming and playful, but then, this she devil will come out or sometimes this winey little brat, or, oh I don't know, maybe it's Miss Puberty will stick her stinking little head up and turn my daugter into this creature who knows everything, won't listen, tells you well that's not the way it's do and so forth. I'm worn out she appeared tonight of course it was on a night when they had to be at wrestling and I decided to make swedish meatball with noodles and gravy and was in a hurry. This little devil showed it's head a little when she and I went over her math homework and she had done most of them  wrong, and like a fool, I actually tell her they are wrong. No there not Daddy, I did them with Mrs Lopez. Well I guess Mrs Lopez most of been on drugs because they are all wrong. No I did not say that but it just felt so good to think it I had to write it. It gets to the point where she would rather have her mother check it then me. I have been really working hard to keep my temper and not curse. Needless to say that was going out the window tonight.

before we adopted them

   When we got home I was going over her homework while trying to make gravy. Bad idea. Teri was on the phone with a co-worker who was being asked to commute from Orange county to New Rochelle. My Daughter and I go back and forth with the homework and I even go so far as to show her how it is done and she has the nerve to sit there and say. That might be right,but that's not the way I learned it. That would be fine but the way you are doing it gives you a wrong answer. I got to the point where I told her to go to bed as I threw the wadded up homework against the wall, where it proceeded to fall onto the table and roll up against some other papers like it was trying to hide. In addition to her not wanting to do the work ("It's really not homework", even though it said it in the corner) Her fighting me on the answers and when I show her it is right insisting it's not the way she does it and doubly on top of that her wining. I totally lost it. Now three hours later I am still so angry.
I invite her to come back and work with me ( You can go to bed, not water, no bathroom no dinner or do the work with me and have dinner) Do You know the little s... took a good two minutes to decide to come back and work with me. So You won''t think me a total heartless fool. I was trying to make one side so bad that she would simply and quickly decide to go back to work and work with me. It didn't work after a few minutes  started to get angry and told her to put it away and I want to see it corrected by the teacher tomorrow. If she go 75 or better I would say I am sorry. If on the other hand she gets a 30 or so, yes there were a few right answers She would be obligated to work my way and work harder, (Yea, right!)  God  help her she is just like me and I am very lucky to be where I am today. It was a long horrible trip to get here and it should of never been that tough, and she , both have already been through too much to continue along the path she is following. I never knew what would of make me want to learn when I was a kid. Now I love learning new stuff, usually useless information.