Bachelor father

Tonights episode will be in living color...
In tonight’s episode, bachelor father has stayed late at work and his baby-sitter went to the movies and bachelor father is once again imposing on his father in law, who thank god doesn’t mind.  Bachelor father has had a rough week and has had his boss chewing  on his ass, what’s left of it all week, but have no fear bachelor father will rise to the occasion and yell at his kids and make them unhappy, he will come home and even before he steps into the home have a fight with his wife(long distant telephone fights are always ratings grabbers) Then as a topper, the dogs will have messed in the house, someone will step in it and not notice( some scenes may be added, dramatized or time maybe be condensed to fit into the half hour formula required for sitcoms) Bachelor father will leave the air after a fun filled weekend where he doesn’t cook a thing for his little darlings, sends them to bed at their bedtime on a non-school night and worst of all misses his wife. This sitcom will end Monday when their flight  lands at Newark sometime in the evening coming from Vegas.

The good life

Sometimes you have to just look at life and be amazed at how full it is and how lucky you are. Things can hit you one way and then you look at them and hit you another.
  Alot happened today. After I stopped talking about the trip to Russia, I went out to mow Tony's lawn. Teri was not pleased that I waited until 11:30 to do it, she wanted to go out and shop for Elena's birthday. I got back in time and Teri left for the store. the strange things, I guess that is not a proper word, but it will have to do until I can think of a better one. The strange things started to happen when it started to rain and the girls asked if they could come in from outside and go watch TV. I would not let them inside on such a beautiful day. It started to rain about four and Elena wanted to take a bath instead of a shower, fine I said. I finished up making chili and let it simmer on the stove at a very low temp. I think this makes for the best chili, and I went to see how hard it was raining and it wasn't, so I started mowing the lawn. About half way into the lawn it starts to rain and it gets harder and I think I've done enough for the day. I come in and check the chili, as I stir it I hear water running as if a pipe is broken and I did most of the plumbing on the house so I figure it has to be a pipe. I run to the cellar and listen and I hear nothing. I realize the sound is coming from the hallway. Elena had started to run a bath for herself and the tub had filled up and the shower curtain had caught in the upper drain and the water had begun to pour out of the tub and seep between the cracks in the floor and to drip down the stairs and out the holes in the archway. Now hours later it is a little funny. then it was "What the hell is going on up there?" I race upstairs and I see the tub over flowing and one daughter, Elena going into the bathroom saying "I'm sorry daddy, I didn't mean to do it."
  The thing that bothers me the most is I have hit her, but not a lot and only once in the recent past when she picked up something from near a garbage can and it looked like she put it in her mouth. She said she was smelling it. I don't know I caught her in a lie two days later when I came into the house and see her drinking soda straight out of the bottle and when she was confronted by me said she was just looking at it, and she wasn't. But my point is I don't hit her, I yell and she saw me at the top of the stairs and the tub was over flowing and she shys away from me as if I was going to give her the back of my hand in anger. I don't know what I've done to her for her to think I would hit her like that. If she wasn't so afraid, I'd say I was hurt by her reaction. I have to talk to her about it.
  The water got sopped up and the house dried out quickly some how and I talked to Teri and told her what happened and not to get angry. We all talked about it over dinner and I don't know if she will get to take a bath anytime soon. She let the tub run over because she was watching TV. That TV will be turned off when showers are taken for now on.
  The other thing that happened was Athena got sprayed by a skunk and we used tomato juice we used on kodi when we first moved here and it had gone out of date in 2007. It looked like tomato sauce, but it smelled ok, better then Athena. I miss Kodi and Mo.

Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody....

Well, it's not Saturday night  it is only Saturday morning and we are in the middle of a typical Saturday. I got up early, usually Teri does, I thought it would be nice to get up and have a little quiet time and read the paper. We have Pop-pop over this weekend and he is asleep in the back bedroom as are the girls in their room.
  I got the paper and sat down at the table with my morning beverage,soda, never got the coffee habit. ask my wife to tell you the story, she likes to add sarcasism and it's a lot mre interesting to hear from her then when I tell it.
  My quiet time lasted until my wife came down and turned on the tv, because Lucy turned 100 today and she needed to see some Lucy.
  I put the girls to bed early last night because they had not been to bed on time all week and I really couldn't stand them any more last night. They didn't do anything, I was just tired.
  Teri and Nastia did get into a play fight about Teri not being her mother and if that was so then Nastia could go. That might of started my bad mood, I didn't think it was funny. Later Teri said it hurt.
  Since the girls were put to bed early they got up early and for a little while anyway they stayed up stairs. But like all good plans they didn't stay there. So now I am writing this at 10 am Teri and her father are reading the paper, the TV is on and no one is watching Lucy, the dog is barking at something from the upstairs window, the girls are playing Nintendo and I stop writing every so often to tell them to turn down the sound on the games. And now the phone is ringing.
  What started the idea to write this was the girls got out cereal and again didn't close up the boxes. Teri goes into the cabinet and don't you just know it the cereal, which is balanced on top of two cans of condensed soup falls and turns over spilling out it contents all over the box of oatmeal, I should be eating, the jars of sauce and other assorted groceries. Teri yells, and who wouldn't, she asks them who didn't close the cereal box ? Of course no one left it open and it was my sister who was the last one to use it. Both are told to clean up this mess and how many times has your father told you to close the cereal box up? It's nice to know someone does listen to what I say. No the girls and my wife only listens when it can be used against me.
  So life goes on in this strange world we have created and for the life of me I never could of imagined.
  I've thought alot about the last few years and written about a lot of it. Some memories; The day we left for Moscow was warm and sunny. It was I think a Saturday and the car service driver had the Yankee game on. I was a little tired,but happy. I slept sort of on the way to the airport, the driver had bottles of water for us to drink, a nice touch.
  At the airport we get on line for the Russian airliner and I hear someone speaking Russian, it hits me that we are going to a place that doesn't speak English, I am still calm, I don't know why. Maybe it's the big adventure of it all.
  We get on the plane, it takes off and the TV have airplanes on a map of North America showing us where we are. Then the movies come on. I remember wanting to see Ireland and England and Germany and the rest of Europe as we passed over it and being disappointed because it was all covered with clouds.
  The day has become night and the night passes quickly, we fly towards the sun.
  We land in Moscow and our first flicker of doubt appears. We are the last ones off the plane and the last ones through customs. We stop and use the rest room and finally find our driver. He puts on what might be a soft rock station. Some is in English, some is in Russian. The car is Japanese, but is right side drive. some cars in Russia are left some are right side. We head out of town and arrive at a villa sort of place surrounded by houses, it seemed odd. We order a meal and go to bed in Russia, amazing.
  The next day we take off and after several cloud filled hours later we land in the far east of Russia, Harabosk.
  My wife has politely informed me that the day is wasting and my chores will not do themselves. So I'll finish later.

Summer Bridge of Hope Party

We attended our third Bridge of Hope party. Every year the same wonderful people open up their home to a bunch of people and their kids and make you feel very welcome. This year the weather was very warm and we reconnected with a bunch of people who have gone on the same adventure as us, some were crazy enough to do it twice. I am still amazed that I did it once.


We met Howard and Marty in the parking lot and their son Vanya. They were in the same group as we were and they went over in the winter and early spring, when we didn’t get there until late summer. I’d still rather be in Birobidzan in summer after seeing their pictures. Snow and cold vs. ravenous mosquitoes, I’ll take the mosquitoes.
  We also saw Fran and CJ, with their sons. Sat and talked to both and made plans to get together, now the trick is to get the time to do it.

I was surprised when a couple of people commented about my blog. I thought I was down to one loyal reader, Elaine. I will try to post a little more often, life does get in the way sometimes and you know.

Some people asked me how we are doing with the girls and for some reason I dug a little deeper into just how we are doing. Like any family we have our good days and then we have the days were you are screaming at the girls and you feel that you are lost and you are the worst parent in the world and it was a big mistake and the girls would have been better off with someone else and how different life would be and how smug I could of remained in my opinions about the right way to raise children. I have gotten an answer to that age old question that I’ve asked “Why do parents let their children do that?” And the answer is we’re just too damn tired to stop them for the forty-seventh time and if it doesn’t kill them maybe this time it can be over looked.

Yesterday, I saw a mom talked to her two children and the kids were no responding, at all. I saw another quietly yelling at her son (I know, you can’t quietly yell at someone, unless you’re a parent.) who was told to leave the chair alone and continued to move it anyway. I’ve been there and done that. I sorry, but it was nice to see I’m not the only one who has these problems with their kids.

I talked to a women whose daughter has some rather large issues and she was very open about it. I don’t have issues like hers and I thank god so far my wife and I don’t. Raising two kids, I knew was going to be expensive, but I didn’t expect it to be this expensive and the demands from our respective jobs increased and a lot of our supports disappear due to the same demands. I think my biggest disappointment is the lack of time we have to spend with the girls. You would like to arrange play dates with other kids and it can’t be during the week, because you are working and on the weekend they are doing something with their family and can’t.

On a lighter note, Howard comes up to me and says he was up at the snack table when Nastia comes up and picks up a cupcake. A woman says to her in Russia something and a girl next to her says she said there is paper on the cupcake. Nastia says I know I’ve been here two years.

An explanation on the opening inside joke from the last posting. We have very gassy girls. On the way home last night Nastia says to Elena, I’ve got gas so bad, I am going fart on you and your grandchild will smell.



We did get some information about Elena having a half sister. She is in Chicago with a host family who are trying to see if they can handle her and adopt her.

Waiting for the summer

    At the end of our last chapter, we left Nastia hanging from the cliff while Elena was facing down Dr. Death in an effort to get the medicine to cure an out break of excess flatulence.
   I wrote that line on May 30th 2011 and Iv'e laughed so long at how funny it is that it is now July 8th 2011.
 The girls have finished school for the year and are in camp somewhere deep in the heart of Elmwood park. So if anyone one would like to go and pick them up one day all you have to say is "I'm Aunt or Uncle So" and so and they are yours for the taking. Just remember finders keepers.
  Memorial day I suffered a severe case of C.R.S. (for all of you uninformed that's Can't remember sh*t) yea no little kid will figure that one out. Well we had a barbecue, one of those last minute things that Muller's are famous for at my mothers house. Cory and Ryan were not there and we didn't play wiffle ball for the first time in years. I'm not saying there is a connection, because Billy and Dennis weren't there either.
  Time flew very fast and it was suddenly it was the end of the school year and Nastia was graduating elementary school. It seems like it was only a few years ago that I dropped this non-English speaking little girl off with her sister and hoped they would survive until the end of the day.
   July 4th we barbecued in the backyard and walked down to the new park at the lake to get a close up look at the fireworks.Come to think of it, it was the twenty-sixth or seventh the week before and we spent the afternoon at the fire department's carnival. The girls went on several rides and met some friends and walked off without telling anyone and got yelled at so everyone had fun.
   Now it's just camp, dinner, fall asleep at the table or in front of the tv, get up go to bed and wake up and do it all again. Should anyone be allowed to have this much fun and not be arrested?!
  There will be more soon, again I'm laughing at  how funny that opening line is....

The Winter is almost over

It 's been sometime  since I've written and very little has happened. Well very little if you exclude the girls going to their first New Years and staying up until two in the morning then telling me they were going to watch the sun come up from the back bedroom and almost as quickly as I said ok as long as you are in bed they were asleep.
   We had my birthday dinner at El Bandido and I promised the girls five dollars each if they did not say it was my birthday. Nastia said ok, Elena said twenty dollars. after I quit laughing we settled on six. They didn't collect on the promise. Five minutes after we sat down the traveling band is singing happy birthday to me.
   And yesterday Teri brings the girls ice skating while I stayed home to make dinner. I get a call about five telling me they are heading to the emergency room Nastia fell on her wrist and is crying saying it hurts.
  I am very sorry about what I am about to write. I have fallen, tripped, and whatever else and never gone to the emergency room to have it looked at. I twisted my ankle so badly that I couldn't walk on it yet I still went to school. Yea, and right about now your telling me stories about how I most of had to walk to school five miles in blizzards three feet high up hill both ways. Well in my school we used to joke that the superintendent used to look out his window before he'd call off school, the catch was he was wintering in Florida at the time.
   Well surprise, surprise Nastia comes home with a honkin big cast on her arm and is told to see a doctor next week to put a hard cast on it. Again I'm sure it hurts and I'm sure there is a fracture, but when I was growing up... I know, shut up. This is a Laudiero thing and the only advantage I can see in going to the emergency room all the time like Teri does is her family happens to out live my family on average. Not really a significant thing (yea, I know, I'm making a joke and Teri doesn't find any humor in it) .
   The girls have also gone sleigh riding over in Orangeburg a couple of times and they did real well on their snow boards for the few times they tried them.
   The girls want to learn karate and we are trying to find a place that is close and has lessons that are at a time we can get them there. With both of us working it is difficult and we don't have many options. We will find someplace to take them and we will also get them to try out for the jr high swim team if there is such a thing.

Christmas Fables

As we all know parents lie. And yes we all know salesmen lie. Being both I’m just better at it, my wife may disagree, but I think I’m pretty good at it. Not that I am really proud about it, it is just a fact of my life. Sometimes I can put it to good use.


Last week I was telling the girls a story about when I was a little kid I had wanted to sneak out of my bed and hide behind the biggest chair in the living room and see Santa Claus leave present. That is the truth. The girls thought that was a wonderful idea and wanted to do it this year. I told them they couldn’t and I had once met Santa Claus, somehow the following story came out, sort of remember I’m a salesman and a father.

A few years ago while we were still in the house in Nyack on Christmas Eve it was late and I was in the recliner falling asleep, you know the one that is now in the bed room upstairs. Your mother had said to come to bed, it’s late. I said I would come to bed in just a minute. I fell back to sleep. I hear a rustling of material against material and think it’s your mother coming out to get me to bed. I open an eye half way and see someone bending over the still lit Christmas tree humming quietly to them self and old song that I had remembered hearing on an old Christmas movie. I turn on my side and the song stops and I start to drift back to sleep when a deep voice chuckles. I slowly open my eye again and this time a bearded face is turned towards me. His white beard hangs down and just touches his red coat. His face is creased and his cheeks are red, his smile never leaves his face as he puts a single finger to his lips and quietly says sleep, it’s the lord’s birthday. My eyes close and I go back to sleep. I wake up the next morning having forgotten the story until just now.

The above story is the way it only happens in fairy tales and the movies. The real way I told it was we were living in Nyack several years ago, it was Christmas Eve and I had fallen asleep in the brown chair in the living room. I was awakened by a sound and I looked up to see Santa Claus putting presents under our tree. He put a single finger to his lips telling me to be quiet and he went about his business as I feel back asleep.

The girls got a big kick out of the fact that I have met Santa Claus.

Thanksgiving, twelve birthday candles on her cake and putting up the christmas tree.

2010 is the first year that we had Thanksgiving over our house. Teri insisted on it. I had my doubts on the idea mainly because we had never been able to cook a turkey and have it cooked on the inside and the outside. This year I guess god was cutting use a break because the Turkey came out very good. It was browned on the outside and cooked and moist on the inside. We had planned on a two pm dinner which in Muller time is three, three-thirty, so we were right on time.


Teri’s family came over for dinner and the girls and I and Tony went over to Eric’s after dinner to socialize with my family. It is a shame that I get to see less and less of them as time gets shorter and shorter. Life becomes more and more filled with have tos and got tos and I feel everything that matters gets lost or wrapped up in the doing and after it is over has lost the impact on me or my family that it was intended to. We do too much of what is expected and far less of what we need to do. And if you don’t understand that it’s ok, neither do I.

Nastia’s birthday was on Friday and she did a count-down for the last week or so saying there is only three days, two days… until my birthday. Then she would give that smile.

Well the four of us went out to dinner on Friday; I got out of work early. And we went to the hard wok, the Chinese buffet, that has crab legs that Nastia loves and she feasted on them.

Saturday, we had Tacos and invited all the rest of the family over and to my surprise everyone came. Thank you all for coming. Ruth didn’t come because she was in Florida and had a note from her doctor.

Today we set up the Christmas tree. After about four days of when are we going to put up the Christmas tree and how come not tonight? Teri and I finally decided to put it up. It was raining and there were blizzards in Buffalo (3’ to 4’ in 24hrs) and the roof of the metrodome in Minnesota fell in (it had 17” of snow on it again in 24hrs) so it was a good idea to stay inside and put up the tree.

We have a fake tree that we bought several years ago while still in the Nyack house. It is fake, but it is low maintance and familiar, so even though Teri said when we originally got it we would go back and forth between real and fake, I haven’t. Putting up the tree is a little involved. The main trunk is divided into three pieces and fits nicely together. The top piece has the upper third of the branches and is a pain to straighten it out each year, but putting it together is a breeze. The lower two-thirds have branches with letters on them, some of them. Over the years the branches began to unravel and I tried to tape them and on some the letters are missing or unreadable. There is also letters missing between the groups, so it is a little confusing. Each group has five or six branches that need to have the individual branches straightened. Then the branch is put in its proper place. Some years I have spent two days putting this damn tree together. Today it only took a couple of hours, not too bad. Then the lights went on. Usually on day three I would be putting on the lights and on the forth the ornaments would go on.

I have been collecting ornaments for my Christmas tree since just after my dad died and I moved out of my mother’s house( yea, I moved out late. I just didn’t know what I was missing.) so I have a nice little collection of ornaments some I got from my mother and are real old, one silver one is from when my dad was a kid in the thirties or there about. Others are one I remember from when I was a child and even though they are really junky I have begun to cherish them more and more with each passing year. And yes the girls have no idea how much I cherish them and how it kills me when they are miss treated and occasionally broken. So the ornaments are bought down and they both go tearing into them and the bubble wrap that has been protecting some for twenty years is threatened with being popped and the clear plastic that holds the ornaments in place is left out and in danger of being crushed beyond use. Do I lack Christmas spirit when I tell them to be careful and to not pop the bubble wrap and to be careful with the ornaments? I must admit from their view point it must seem strange, I can see it in their eyes, it’s only pieces of paper or bubble wrap, why can’t I pop the bubble wrap, you can get more. I guess I don’t say enough to them to make them understand the importance of these things. I stay silent until it gets me angry and I go off on them and they are left wondering what type of jerk their father is.

Well Christmas is a little less than two weeks away and I hope you all have gotten your Christmas shopping done, because I still need to get finished and I don’t want you getting in my way. Merry Christmas.
   Lastly w

Lastly we had the annual Cookie house decorating Saturday. Again Ruth was the only family to miss out on it this year. She was in Florida and yes she had a doctor’s note. About twenty-two people showed up and it was a crowded good time for all. The kids are getting a little older and it is a little tougher to send them outside so the adults can do their own thing, but they also don’t need supervision either as much.

Happy Halloween it's the lions again

I’m writing this two weeks after the fact so you will have to excuse me if I don’t remember a lot of things that happened and begin to make things up to fill in the blanks.

Camp Halloween 2010

The girl this summer went to camp and had a Halloween day where they went as devils. They loved the costumes and wanted to use the costumes in October. Well they could not find them for the school parade and went as lions.

On Halloween their costumers were found buried on the floor of the closet. My isn’t that a surprise.

The plan for this year was all different from last year. Last year we got together with everyone else and the girls went out with Billy, Dennis, Cory and Ryan. This year we were going to go to a haunted house in upper Nyack, then trick or treat on Broadway.

I had decided to make Cajun meatloaf for dinner during the week and to make fajitas for dinner that night. I started on the meatloaf at three-thirty and figured I had enough time to make both. I did but we were still an hour late, because I didn’t leave enough time to make both. Meaning there wasn’t enough time but I still make them and we ate dinner before we left.

We got down to Nyack and the Haunted house fifteen minutes after it had closed. Not a good start to the night for me. We then joined the flow of people on the street and went to several houses.

Trick or treating in Upper Nyack is like I think I remember it being as a kid. Thousands of kids out on the street and it's safe and fun.


Yea, Lions again at the Halloween parade.


Elena did almost get hit by a car. I walked between two cars and was in the process of telling the two of them to wait when Elena decides I was going to say run real fast and she darts out into the road. What saved her was the driver was going very slow and maybe my yelling stop at her. If she had hit the car she would have glanced off the passenger side door and should have been ok. Luckily we did not have to find out. She stopped in time and I then reached her and pulled her into my arms for safe keeping. Some people thought I pulled her out from near the car. I didn’t, I wasn’t close enough. It was scary. She will forget the incident as soon as she feels the need to rush out into traffic without looking.

The night ended early for them and late for us. They both got too little candy (them) and it is still early. And they had enough candy (Us) and it is getting late. It is another memorable Halloween. I just wish I could remember what they went as. When I add the pictures I’ll remember. It sucks getting old. The only thing good about it is you can raid their candy after they have gone to sleep.

One last beach picture before we go into Winter.

A year in a life

One year ago today I was home stressing about getting the girls in school and hoping that I didn’t take too much time before I went back to work.

It is a year later and the world is still here and I have a job and my wife and I still talk to each other, it is a lot less and there is no TV after ten pm mostly, but the world still continues to turn and things good and bad continue to happen in the world.

Hallway in Valgium

My life has changed. Several years ago if I was given the chance to look ahead to the year 2010 I would not really see much in my life that I would recognize. I’m not saying it is a bad life. It’s just very different than I ever imagined it, isn’t it always?

Growing up I had this fuzzy vision that I would get a job in the city work and get married around twenty-seven, have two, three kids and live my version of ‘father knows best’. It’s funny how life has other plans for you. There is a line in a John Lennon song (who on October 9th would of turned 70, and has been gone almost as long as he was alive) that life is what happens while you’re busy making plans and I guess that is what has happen to me.

Table for going away party

I never would have ever adopted children if not for my wife. She was and is the unstoppable force behind all this life changing experience that has gone on and I say that with all love and admiration. Life with me is not easy and I could never have imagined adopting children, much less going to a country half way around the world and staying there for a month and then bring them home and trying to build a life.

The only two major contributions that I made were when we got the reports on the girls and we were given a choice between two girls and a boy. One of the girls was supposed to be mentally handicapped and Teri was unsure what to do. I said take a chance we can always say we don’t want to adopt them. After a day or so we knew we would never be returning them. The other contribution I made has been lost, because I had to leave and check on the nut bread that Teri is making and I don’t remember it.

Market outside hotel in Birobidjan

It is hard to believe that a year ago we would get on the computer and have it translate anything we wanted to say to the girls. We have not done that for at least six months. They speak English about as well as they speak Russian, which means that they are not very proficient in either language. Their school work is still below their grade level and I am concerned. Their adoption to our culture has been quick and startling. They hang around Amanda Monday through Friday in the afternoons and she is at that age where all the popular music comes from her. I remember when music was just music to me and I didn’t care what people felt was bad or good about the music. That has all changed. Lady Gaga, and all the other music acts that I don’t know and am very suspicious of and really don’t like because of no other reason than they are not my music and are singing about stuff that I don’t want my kid to hear. Is that clear? I know I didn’t understand it either.

The days of throwing the kids outside and letting them do what they want, like I used to do as a kid are long gone and I am sad for this generation. I would get home from school. Wait for my best friend Mike to get home from catholic school and then we would do what we wanted to do and do it outside mostly or in his basement or in my room, but the concept of a play date was and is ridiculous. That and using antiseptic wipes all the time and sheltering our kids from the outside world is little too much. I don’t mean we should put the kids outside and let them run wild and unsupervised like we were. There are too many greater dangers now, then before, time to get off my soap box.

To the girl’s Russian grandmother and both of their Russian fathers, both girls are alive and doing fine, better than I ever could have hoped for.

Summer's all gone

It was the first day of school yesterday. Much time has passed since I last wrote… the whole summer.


The Girls got to go swimming in early June and went to camp at the town camp and hated it. They went horseback riding, ice skating, and finally got to the beach the last week of August, just before a hurricane and the waves were really rough.

Elena celebrated her tenth birthday and she got a lot of presents from everyone. It was just like Nastia’s. We had a little party with just the immediate family, Tony and my Mom and we went to Nanuet restaurant because Elena wanted pizza. She and her sister then got gift certificates to go to toys r us and spend which they did. We didn’t have time to go out for cake so we had it at Nanuet restaurant. On the weekend we had a party for everyone in the family.
  A couple of weeks later  she invited a few kids to Dave and Busters, which didn’t work out because it was August and everyone was on vacation, so a few family members went to Dave and Busters and we all had a good time. We ate some lunch and it was nice. We ended the day at my mom’s at a little get together to see off my sister and her two kid who left to go to Florida the next day.
  At the end of August we went to Seaside heights and stayed for two nights at the Cranberry Inn. It was funny listening to the two girls being so impressed by a simple motel room. "Oh wow, this is so nice, I love it". We went right away to the beach even though it was four in the afternoon and we stayed until about seven, had a late dinner at the Outback in Tom's River and went home.

 The next day we went to the beach about eleven and stayed until six or so. The weather was perfect, warm but not to hot. We looked around for something to eat and settled for Boadwalk food at Spicy's. It was good, but it was a little expensive for boardwalk food. The girls then spent their own money on the rides at one of the piers and had to decide what rides to go on with the amont of money they had to spend. It was interesting watching the two of them get the other one to go on a ride the other didn't want to go on.
 The final day, saturday we stayed only until 4pm and we went to island beach which has no boardwalk and that was the day the waves were huge and rough. It was a good time and everyone had fun.

School is going to be a little rougher for the two of them. More is expected of them this year and they have a greater comand of English.

At the Orphanage September 2009

  It was one year ago today that we were over in Russia. I can't believe we ever went. I think one year ago we were introduced to our apartment and were reunited with the girls. hard to believe.

Swimming Lessons

The girls started learning to swim in March. The first week we took them to the Felix Festa pool a swim meet was being held and the girls were very disappointed. We found out later the information was posted on their web site.


The next week they had their first lesson and they just loved everything about it. The week after that they were complaining that it wasn’t long enough and they wanted more time to swim.

The following two weeks were no swimming and I wonder if they will complain about it being too short next week.

The girls did Easter eggs tonight and they got it all over their hand and had a lot of fun. I did an egg and Teri did a few.


During dinner they girls sang and danced for us. Can you believe it shrimp scamp and a floor show? Can life get any better?

I had promised the girls a ball to replace the one that popped and hadn’t done it in two weeks so we went out to buy one and suddenly Elena wanted a game and not a ball, but Nastia wanted a ball and Elena got angry and say OK, you win and I got angry. I wanted them to compromise and it didn’t work. So I bought the balls and by the time we got home they had forgotten about the ball and didn’t play with them.

Reality comes up against ideals of raising kids and it sucks

When I did not have kids I could sit back and ask myself why parents did some of the stupidest things and why they did not do what is right.
   Now I have kids and I have the answers to all of those questions and some I did not think to ask. I have written here several times about my short coming in my parenting skills and yesterday I asked myself why I insist on beating myself up in public, in front of the seven of you, more or less. The answer it turns out is I am not living up to those high standards that I had set for myself in raising these kids.

   I don’t want to look back at their lives and think if I had only done things differently… I guess I would not be the first person to think that either.

The two of them are the greatest and I don’t say that because they are mine. I say that because it is true and they are great and I want to do my best to insure that they reach the potential I see inside the two of them.

I have also watched the parents of people I know and have not stopped being impressed by the jobs they are doing. It is not easy, well not as easy as it looked from the outside and with some of you it looked hard from the outside and that means it must have been unbearable. I don’t know how some of you have done it.

It doesn’t help to have two kids nine and ten come into your lives and not speak the language and to try and fit them into what has been the normal for the past ten or so years.

I took the kids to the park over at Valley Cottage the one my mother had been telling me about for the last month or so and they ran around and I carried them on my shoulders and they ran some more and ran even more and we then went over to Rockland Lake Park and saw a deer. I had to point the car headlight at the deer for them to see it the guy in front of me who was doing the same thing, looking for deer must of thought I was being a wise guy when I moved the car toward the side of the road and pointed the head light at the deer, because he moved on and didn’t stop. All this took a little over an hour and we had fun.

They also tried to jump off the swings and fly in the air. I got to admit that I encouraged them to do it. I remember when I was a kid in school I would swing as high as I could and the chains would go slack and at that point you would jump out of the swing. It was fun. They didn’t get that high Teri so you don’t have to worry. They got airborn only a little.

What the hell is wrong with you.

I started to write this about a week ago and didn’t get very far. I guess I didn’t want to write it or I would have made time for it sooner.


We took the girls sleigh riding over at Orangeburg after the snow storm about a week ago. We were busy on Saturday and we didn’t get to go until Sunday.

I had the girls in my car and we were going somewhere and the girls wanted the windows open and it was not a bad day, it was almost too nice, so they had the windows open and Elena’s orange hat flew off her head and Nastia started to laugh about it. It just struck something in me about how I was teased in school and I pulled over and I lit into Nastia yelling at her that it wasn’t funny and how would she like it if it was her hat which I then threw out the open car window after several attempts. Of course I yelled at her until I had reduced her to tears, which seems to be the way I have to go, and when it is over I usually feel very guilty, but I can’t stop myself.
   Later when Teri heard the story she thought it was very funny and I was sure she would back me on it. I guess I did over react to the whole thing.
   I back up the car and get Elena’s hat and make Nastia walk the few yards to get her hat and I walk along with her telling her something to make up for being so nasty. I don’t remember what I said but it must have been something to make me feel better too.

We get to the park around two and Donald and Nancy and Amanda and Tharsha all show up and the snow is wet and slick and everyone is going down the hill. I’m with Nastia and Elena and next to us are two families that are very nice, they let the girls use their tubes and even share rides down the hill with their kids.

After about three hours of this when everyone has gotten soaked and frozen we call it a day and go to get some food at the hot dog place over in Nanuet. The end of the Olympics is on the TV and I watch the Canadians go up 2-0 in the gold medal round in Hockey before we leave. Canadians won in overtime 3-2 to win the gold.

It was a fun time on the slopes.

Small threads woven into sweeping generalizations

Yesterday I promised the girls that I would take them out to the store to buy a toy and they would use their own money. I get tired of them asking for things and I am told by my mother all kids do it and I guess I did it as a kid too.
Yesterday we were over my mom’s house making cookie and watching pirated videos and we did not get home until it was too late.
We finished the day at the Olive garden, Tony had said how he would like to go there and Teri wanted to do something nice for him.
Which brings us to today and my look at the differences in my two girls, Nastia had saved the five dollars I gave her each Monday and had a total of sixty-three dollars in her bank.
Elena had to count out Quarters to get to the Forty dollar mark I had decided it would take to get a game for their game systems, only when we got there it turned out they were not looking for a game cartridge.
They both hunted around the store and didn’t make a decision quickly, which I was glad for. It turned out that I had to push Elena to make a decision on her toy. I remember going to the store with my mother when I was young and not being able to make a decision on what to get and leaving the store with nothing. So I could empathize with her.
The gifts each decided on and how they went about it tells me with my dime store psychology degree something about the two of them.
Nastia had saved where Elena had spent her money on sweets at school. Nastia is going to be a saver who might have to let Elena sleep on her couch. Remember these are long range observations and a lot will change.
Nastia’s toy was a baby and when she saw Elena’s toy gave the baby to her mother and went off to play with Elena and her Nerf rifle. Enough said? Maybe I’m being a little bit a wise ass about this too.
After paying for their purchases the both of them wanted to go to McDonalds and get something to eat. Elena had no money left having spent all of her forty dollars on a nerf gun. It turns out to be a great toy and is better than the doll, but when we went to buy food she had no money. Nastia said she would buy her some French fries and then Elena said she wanted chicken nuggets and Nastia said no. So I ended up giving them both five dollars that they did not get last week. Nastia got her French fries and a soda. Elena got a cheese burger and a soda and Ice cream and spent almost all the five dollars I gave her.
So the dime store psychologist in my says that Nastia will be a saver, get pregnant at an early age, will drop the child off at her mother’s house and will go out and play when her sister stops by.
Elena will be a rough and tumble type of person. She will be less of a saver and will enjoy her money and not have a dime in the bank for a rainy day. She will stop by her sister’s place and they will both drop the baby off at their mother’s house and go out for a good time.
Where will I be during all this? I will either in Florida fishing or hiding so I don’t get stuck baby-sitting. Come to think of it I will still be working because have you seen my 401K lately? Yea neither have I. It has gotten so small that I can’t find it.

It's still hard to believe they are ours.

It has been a little over six months since the girls became ours and a little over five months since we returned from Russia. The banner Tharsha and Amanda made still hangs over the door way to the living room like we just returned a day ago. Thank God all the balloons have popped or disappeared, god they got in the way. Dinner is at the dinner table like it has been almost every night since we have returned from Russia; I miss the TV trays in front of the TV. Dinner is still at a bad hour, seven pm or later. One night it was at nine thirty. That was the night Stephanie came over to interview for the job of watching the girls after school.
Dinner resembles a load dance hall these days, the girls sing, eat food with their hands as Teri and I tell them to use their forks and sit closer to the table. There is arguing, talking and laughing all going on at the same time. It might even be a normal family dinner.
Teri and I feel like we have hit the jack pot on these two. And we considered not taking them for all of an afternoon. It’s amazing how things work out for the best sometimes.
    Nastia talked about her life before we adopted her and her sister and she said she spent time in six different homes or orphanages during the time she was in the system. She said she even spent time in a place where they sent the mentally disturbed children, she said they were kookoo. I don't know how much time she spent there. It is a sad reminder of their short lives. Lives that they will never return to and will hopefully be a minor memory in their lives.

Did I miss the class on how to stop kids from breaking?

After bandage is removed

Back when I was a Kid, yes it is one of those stories; I would get a cut, put it in my mouth and suck on it, spit and be done with it. If it continued to bleed then I would go to my mother who would spit on it, wipe it with a dirty towel and tell me to go out and play. If it continued to bleed she would tell us that is normal, don’t worry about it. Back then kids could play outside and the only thing they had to fear was themselves.

Today, if a kid gets a cut he or she is rushed to the ER or the local doctor or even the local walk in doctor service and they get looked at by Doctors who are very nice and very professional and in the end cost a bit of cash.

The Girls have been with us just over six months and they have gotten broken three times. And I swear it’s not our fault. The latest one where Elena hugs Cody chewing on a dog chew and surprises the dog who then reacts out of what is programmed in her through genetics and even then only grazes her face. It’s bad but it could have been a lot worse and I pray to god that it never gets any worse.

What makes me feel like a second rate father is when the school nurse tells me I should have the cut on Elena’s face looked at, which I did.

The Doctor takes her the same day and says she is OK and prescribes a medication which I am later told will counteract 99% of all dog bit infections, which is great, but on the health insurance it is still $68.00. I hate to sound like a penny pincher and all that crap, but it is expensive being a parent, more so when the kids seem to be running into a scrap or a fall or a sister every other week.

The one good thing about Elena’s injury is it happened after the social worker was here.
I don’t want to see any kid blood for a few months at least please.
   The end of this story is, as of now, yesterday I get home late and Elena is soaking her wound. A little puss appears in the wound and Teri wants to go to the ER because the Doctor said to go there if pus appeared and also to call him. We talk about it and finally I call my mother who says if we would like bring her over and let her look at it, which we do.

Comparing cuts

    My mom is unsure about what to do. She said spiting on the wound and wiping it with a dirty towel has been proven to be detrimental to a persons health and as we all know once you know something is no good for you it will kill you and you can't stop doing it. Smoking never killed anybody until the surgeon general.

    She says to call the Doctor and he says the best thing to do is soak it and keep an eye on it. If the red spreads then call him. The medcine takes about 48 hours to take full effect.
    It is Saturday and the wound looks good. Almost all the red is gone and there has been no more pus. But I'm sure this is not the end of the story.

It snowed and it snowed and it snowed, just not enough for me to have the entire day off

I woke up about four in the morning expecting to find several feet or at least several inches of snow on the ground only to be disappointed and find a slight dusting. I knew at that time I would be going to work. The girl’s school had been cancelled the previous night and Teri was on a two hour delay with the expectation her office would close, you know its Jersey and they always get hit the worst when it comes to snow storms. I woke up around seven in no hurry to get out of bed and go to work. I finally got out of bed around seven thirty and got dressed. I shoveled the steps and cleaned off the cars. And finally at about Nine I went out to get bagels for the Girls and Teri. I left for the last time at about nine thirty several minutes later the boss calls asking me how the roads are and if I want to take a day which I said yes and I went home. I changed into work clothes and spent the day with the girls as Teri tried to catch up on her work.
The girls helped me clean off the steps again and clean off the cars and they wanted to use the snow blower, which I said no to because I wanted to do it not that it was dangerous.
I promised to make a snow man with them and the one time I tried they, Nastia started a snowball fight. I went inside and we never got to build a snowman

What the hell is going on here!

I am sick and tired of blood and sick and tired of emergency rooms and the bills that follow, even if it's taken care of, or most of it.
Tonight was one of those nights that just seem to pop up and flop down on you like a wet smelly dog. I had the day off and had planned several different possible days for myself. I got up and woke the girls up. The night before Teri said it sounded like one of the girls were coming down with a cold. I thought that it was just from the dry air in the house because I had been coughing as well and I felt fine. WELLLLLLL I was wrong and Nastia stayed home. I took both girls to school and walked both into the building, but I came back to the car with one of them. When we were home I sent her to bed and she asked if she could watch TV from our room which she did for several hours in between coming down looking for me (Papa? Wherrrrre are you?) I was in the basement trying to finish up the hallway before the social worker came by this afternoon. Not that it was a make or break thing I just wanted to surprise Teri with the job being done (Surprise, surprise it only took two years to finish.). I didn’t get it finished. There was a spot on the molding where it starts up the stairs to the second floor and I was having trouble figuring out the angle to cut the molding and was over thinking the angles. I made a two foot piece of lumber a six inch piece of lumber in the process. I finally figured it out and then Nastia and I had lunch (she was a bottomless pit today for a sick girl.) After lunch it was time to pick up Elena and she had bought homework for Nastia to do and had left her’s at school. So I had her sit down with Nastia and together they both did some work. Elena wrote the alphabet and did some addition and subtraction while Nastia read from a book of Dr Seuss stories when it turned out she had the wrong homework. We did this for about an hour until the social worker came by and they went to watch TV and I got to talk about how well they are doing here and how proud Teri and I are of them. Teri showed up about 45 minutes into the visit. We talked some more and it all went very well.
The Social Worker left about four thirty and I went to the vets to get kodi her pills and then to the grocery to pick up some items for a Russian chicken cutlet dish that sounded pretty good. I got back after six and set to work making dinner. The dish consisted of sautéing mushrooms in butter then taking ground chicken adding bread crumbs and eggs and spices and cream then put the mushrooms in the middle and roll the mixture in more bread crumbs and cook it in oil and top it with a cream sauce that had heavy cream, butter and sour cream in it. For all that work it was only OK.
In the middle of it Teri calls me up stairs and I run up the steps to find blood, yes more blood on the bathroom floor and a crying child, yes another crying child. It turns out that Elena went to hug Kodi and Kodi had a chew and she protected it by biting Elena on the left cheek, the one on her face. There are three or four scratches on her face that don’t look to deep and Teri plays Doctor Killpatient and bandages her up. I hope she left some tape for the next time.
I made the decision not to go to the emergency room and let the doctors look at it. I hope I am not wrong about it. I just couldn’t go to the emergency room again and I am really starting to worry about social services coming and knocking on my door. This would be three emergency room visits in six months and I don’t see how we could have avoided two out of the three.
The blood stopped flows rather quickly and Elena put ice on it for most of the night and she was able to eat dinner even with a cut inside her mouth. Nastia felt better by 10 am and things quieted down enough for me to watch Lost.
There is a big snow storm coming tomorrow so school are closed and we will see what we are doing about someone watching the girls if we are both told to go to work.
OK, I will say it because someone out there already has Oh, the joys of parenthood.

Two Days later it's that little girl's birthday

For the first thirty-eight years of my life I would consider my birthday as the final celebration of the holiday season, when I would consider it. Then one day this squirmy little melon headed girls showed up and extended the holiday season by two more days. Not that I ever minded Amanda having a birthday near mine. Heck most of my life I couldn’t wait for all the joyful festivities to be over. I always considered the winter the worst time of year and I always seemed to get my midterm exams back on my birthday and having never studied it was always a disaster. So Amanda having a birthday near mine kind of deflected the spot light off me some and if you know me I mostly hate the spot light.
So we celebrated Amanda’s birthday the other day by going to the Hard Wok and eating Chinese food. The Girls ate shrimp, crab legs, French fries, chicken nuggets and rice. They had a good meal. Then they had a little ice cream and we went back to the house to have some cake. The girls in all their uninhibited selves went up stairs and got Nastia’s boom box (are they still called that? They still boom.) and turned up the music and started to dance. I took a video and we even got Amanda up to dance a little and it is hard to believe that it has been fifteen years since she was born and eleven years since Doug has been gone. He is still missed.