Wednesday, October 20, 2021
Nothing to really talk about
Not alot is going on right now with the girls. I guess their taking a moment to take a deep breath, then watch out, oh boy!
Nastia has been getting up at 5:30 this week to go to work at 6. She complains, but I think it also must give her time to spend with Brenden. Which is what she is doing this Wednesday morning, I was sitting on the bed about 7:40 when she comes in with her back pack on and kisses me good bye. Wednesdays she sleeps at her friend's JJ house. Now I know what your thinking. What guarantee is there that she is doing that? Well at this point in her life she is going to do what she is going to do. And if it doesn't cause her harm, I'm not going to say much. She is after all almost twenty-three. Now when her kids read that line remember it is a different time. Don't impose your times morals and hang ups on another generation. Remember that people who want to remove the statue of Thomas Jefferson from the City Hall in NYC.
Elena is trying to go back to school. Her class, an automotive class keeps getting put off. It is now set to start now on October 25th.It runs from 5 pm to 9 pm. Her work is going to work with her, they like her and want to keep her. I feel that she is going to work/school herself into exhaustion with this class. I don't know if she will be putting in the same number of hours at work, but adding 4 hours a day to her day doesn't leave much time to decompress and relax. She's going to be going seven days a week.
Thursday, October 7, 2021
Wednesday, October 6th, 2021
It's three days before John Lennon's 81st birthday. On December 8th, he'll be gone longer then he was alive, 41 years. If you don't know who he is future people, shame on you.
Elena planned to have salmon for dinner. She wanted to do it on Tuesday, but dinner had been planned and so it was moved to Wednesday. I was willing to cook dinner, but I was bowling with Nastia and there were several people who were more interested in talking than bowling. It got to the point that one guy, let's call him Adam, since that is his name was up on both lanes. I am sitting in the seats near the lanes and hs is behind me talking and talking. I got so pissed that I yell out Adam, you're up. His reply, "I'm talkng." He does stop and bowl. Talking seems to stop after that. We ended up being the last in our league to finish.
Nastia with a 159 and JJ with a 127 saved us in the first game. In the second we hold on for dear life, winning because Nasta get two strikes in the tenth.Causing Paul, their final bowler to need three strikes to win. He gets one on his first throw and spares his second. We win by ten pins, bring us back to 500. Nastia's 159 came after a couple weeks of bad games. This is the girl who started bowling years ago with an average of 68. Her average is now over 120. Elena could being doing as well, if not better had she been able to contain her temper and just bowl.
Dinner of salmon and baked potatoes was set for Wednesday after bowling. Nastia went with Brandon and maybe JJ to dinner at Dave and Buster's in the Palisades Center. She loves Talipia, I think she really doesn't like salmon, I think.
I walk in to the house, Elena and Teri are cooking. Matt is standing by, if he is needed. He is alway the first one to offer to help.
The salmon goes in and I am then asked to check it to make sure it is cooked. about twenty minutes later I use a fork to see if the fish flakes apart and it does, so out it comes. It goes back in after I cut it and find some portions are still raw. After another ten or so minutes it comes out and is fully cooked. We sit down to a garlicy, buttery fish and baked potatoes. It's good!
Later that night, after clean up, which was easy, I didn't cook. I find Elena making sandwiches for Matt and 
her for Thursday. She has the day off and He has some school, but I guess they plan to get together later and do 
something. I'll let you know. I bring up the sandwiches because she drew a face on one. And last night she kissed him in front of me for the first time maybe. He brings out the best in her I think. I hope she does in him too. I'm looking forward to that dinosaur wedding.
Thursday Elena has off and her and Matt take in a nice afternoon going hiking. They go hike Ramapo Mountains. Elena sends a bunch of pictures of her hike. She always has to take a picture of Matt walking away. I wonder why?
Tuesday, October 5, 2021
Tina's memorial
On Saturday Tina's memorial was held at the Elk's club in Pearl River. The days was beautiful and sunny. Just a bit chilly in the shade, but for October 2nd, it was perfect. Lynn invited a nice crowd of people. Teri and I went with Nancy, Nastia and Elena.
The morning of the memorial, a little before 6 in the morning Nastia is out of bed, dressed and comes in to kiss us bye. Instead of taking the day off, she worked an earlier shift, 6-11, something Teri has been telling her for the longest time to do. Don't lose the hours if you can avoid it.
The memorial started at noon. Teri went out with Nancyto Costco and arrived back about 11:30. Now Teri is the type of person who needs to be on time. If she was being executed for a crime she was innocent of, she'd still insist on being on time to the hangmen. So I was ready, or at least I thought I was. You know how it is. Your ready, then you need to go to the bathroom beofre you go like yourmother taught you to. Then you need a drink to take with you because you know on th etrip you'll wish you had some cold water to drink. Teri has long ago given up yelling about it. She just says, "I'm leaving now!" as she walks out the back door. I'm running upstairs, grabbing my water, hooking the gate as I leave and yes, I'm the last person in the car.
We arrive at the Elk's club about ten after twelve, fashionablely late and no one noticed. I walk past a black Jeep all tricked out, that is slightly dirty. I stop and comment that this can't be Billy's Jeep. Billy the recently new home owner. The joys of owning a home.
The afternoon is warm, except under the canopy covering the tables. I bought my sweater that Nastia asks to use because she didn't think to bring one. Nastia and Elena both are over twenty-one so they both go to get a drink at the open bar. They both come back with vodka and pinapple juice. I take a sip and comment they should be drinking vodka and orange juice. Both sort of finish their drink after about an hour or so. I am pleased it took so long. One of the two, I think Nastia goes back for a second. This time she brings back a rum and orange juice. I don't both to taste it. Just the combination is a turn off. She doesn't finish it and their drinking for the day is over.
Food is served and a littler later dessert. My mom doesn't make it to th ememorial, she is suffering double vision and feels more comfortable staying home.
Lynn gets up and gives a sweet talk about her mother's wishes for her memorial. She then invites everyone up to celebrate her mother to the song New York, New York.
The girls discover the game connect four at a table. They play and after a while I am invited to play. I play one and win, I then play the other and win. I win about ten games in a row. Nastia has had enough, but Elena continues on. She continues and as she plays her skill improves to the point that she is winning semi regularly. I was impressed several times she wins and I don't see it coming.
Around four-thirty we all pile into the car to leave. It was a fun afternoon celebrating the life of Tina.
/
Monday, September 27, 2021
Going to the football game and rooting for the wrong team
Wednesday, September 22, 2021
Random Thoughts over the last week or so- Anniversaries -9/11, adopting the girls and growing up.
9-11-21 is the twentieth anniversary of the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center. I've told the story several times over the years where I was and what happened that day.
It also amazes me that I don't remember around this time of year back in 2009 Teri and I adopted the two most important people in our lives. I tear up a little thinking about how it all happened and how they have changed our lives. They have bought a joy into our lives that is missing when they are not around.
At this time of their lives their boyfriends are their top priority. Nastia has gotten into the habit when she goes out of paying for everything. I don't know if this goes on all the time, but this last week she has spent 
almost $700.00. She and Branden spent Saturday to Sunday at a cabin in Bear Mountain for his birthday. That was a little less then $500.00. She then bought dinner at Gilligan's. I'm sure it was her idea. She loves seafood and he doesn't. She then bought pizza. Last night Wednesday after bowling she goes out to dinner with Brenden and JJ. Nastia pays $75.00. She later tells me she got the money, but it never appears back in her account. She could have just spent it or she could have just paid for dinner and let everyone else slide like I would have when I thought I had money.
Tuesday Nastia and Elena went out drinking again. This is the second Tuesday they have gone out on. They are both stretching their wings and I really don't like it. I feel left out of their lives. I know I'm not the first parent to feel or say those words, but that doesn't make it any easier.I don't want to go drinking with them either, that would be a big buzz kill for them.
I picked them up from the house directly from leaving work, about 6:45 and drive them over to D&D's in New City. They are going to eat dinner and have a few drinks. Matt is going to pick them up at about 10:45. On the trip over to D&D's Nastia tells me she has opened a bank account for herself. To me this is another in a line of events that have made me feel unimportant in her life. And I do know that that is not the truth. I am important and our relationship is just changing, but I hate change and don't do it very well.
I drop them off at D&D's and head home. Nastia gives me a hug that I can only half return. I know how stupid this must all sound, but there was a time I thought she and I were best friends who told each other things that they haven't told others. We used to talk and I'd stay up later then I should to hang out with her watching TV. She'd sit in my lap and we'd watch programs we both enjoyed that no one else liked.
I get a text around 10 PM that Matt can't make it and would I pick them up? I'll give you one guess what the answer is and how quick I replied.
I pick them up from D&D's about 10:45. Both get in the car. Elena puts on her head phones and is gone into her music. Nastia gets a phone call, fumbles with her head phones and the person who calls her is asking her if she would like to date either him or his friend, I think it was his friend. She replies that she is honored, but she has a boyfriend (see Branden, nothing to worry about at this point) I ask Nastia and later Elena what they did and what they ate and drank. No mention of talking to boys at the bar. They ate little to nothing and maybe had two to three drinks. They appeared very stright and sober when I came to pick them up. That is a good, it show they are watching out for themselves. At least I hope it does.
The next morning I check the Bank accounts on line like I do several times a week and all of Nastia's money is gone. It feels very sneaky, like she is up to something. I ask her and her reply is the same as when I asked her the night before, I want my own account. Growing up is like the song toyland. Once you grow up and leave Toyland you can never return.
/
Saturday, September 11, 2021
Dinner with Matt, preparation and dinner with Brandon
There was a dinner with Matt last week. It was one of those "can I invite Matt over for dinner tonight." And of 
course the answer was yes. I think it was Sunday and Nastia was sleeping over JJ's house so she missed it. It was a simple sliced steak, pierogies and a vegetable. Elena livened up dinner when she showed up in blue face. While she ate it proceeded to peal off her face and it got a little disgusting before she decided to peal most of it off her face.
Sitting at the table that night I quitely thought that Nastia hadn't bought Branden around lately. At thst moment I decided that I'd done all I could and the two of them had to start making the effort without being prompted. Sometimes be carefully what you wish for. Yeah, I didn't wish for anything, but I did think it.
On Monday, Labor Day, Nastia says she wants to invite Branden over for dinner on Tuesday. She also wants to have Cajun meatloaf.
The story behind this meat loaf is funny and I'm feeling a little wistful about things these days, so I'm going to tell the story. Ruth knows this story, so if I stray from the facts, it's the distance of time or I'm just making it more exciting Ruth.
Back when we used to cook with fire in open pits and there were no cell phones...(yes Nastia I got my first cell phone at 42) I don't remember if Ruth had the book Paul Prudhomme's Louisiana Kitchen or she had just make some photo cpoies (photo copies are an ancient form of transfering information) Her and I are talking one day and she says she tried the meatloaf recipe in his book and it was really good. I had the book, but I hadn't tried anything out of it, so when I get home I get together all the ingredients needed to prepare the dish. Now old Paul here does not believe in the simple. If you can use two or three spices, he'll use six. I go to work making the meatloaf. I don't remember how good it was, but when I told Ruth I made it she says that wasn't the one she was talking about. I think she tried it, I'm not sure, but I love the reciepe so much that at Teri and my rehearsel dinner or maybe it was our engagement dinner I made cajun meatloaf, but did it as meatballs. My friend Mike who is a strict meat and potaoes guy said they were great. Later I tell Ruth about making it and she says, "That's not the one I made."
Flash forward to a time post October 2009, after we adopted the girls. I serve it to the girls and they love it. From that long ago forgotten night until now it is their favoriite meatloaf to eat. Everytime Teri or I say meatloaf for dinner they say, "cajun?: or more likly, "the one I like?"
It takes about two hours to make this meatloaf. It also takes about an hour to cook. So it is not something you whip up after coming home from work.
So I tell Nastia she has to help me make it. After a little back and forth with Teri about when we should have this dinner, it is decided that the meatoaf will be made on Monday and dinner will be Tuesday.
Nastia arrives home from work, she is tired and a little late. She wants to go out with Branden after making the meatloaf. I told her it will take two hours.
I've gotten everything out to start, you know the old chef's saying, mess in place. I tell her to measure the spices. She does her best. Some she is a little shy on the amounts. I show her how to divid up the meat using a scale. We're making two meatloafs because it is a long process and making two only adds a few minutes. We cut up peppers, onions, celery, green onions and garlic. About forty-five minutes have passed and just now after all that prep work are we going to start to cook. We melt 4ozs of butter in a large frying pan. Add all of the vegetables, the spice mix, worcestershire sauce and some Frank's red hot sauce (recipe calls for Tabasco, but it's alot more expensive then Franks) This all gets cooked down until it begins to stick. Then ketchup and condensed milk are added. When that starts to dry out the mixture is set asside to cool. While it cools we start the second mixture. I use a huge mixing bowl to let the mixture cool. Teri thinks it's over kill and it is, but the mixture cools quickly in it. When cool we mixed the two meats, pork and beef with two eggs and bread crumbs. When it all comes together I show Nastia how I want teh loafs formed. Yes it's unnecessary, but in my make believe restaurant that is how we do it. The other mixture cools and we do the same to it. Both go into the oven to cook. A little over two hours has passed.
I've learned to clean as I go somewhat, so there is little mess. Nastia and I clean up and she goes to shower. She still wants to hang out with Branden over me, go figure. I watch the meat loafs cook and around forty minutes later I take them out so they can be reheated the next day.
The Next Day
It's back to work after a long weekend and as you'd guess it's not fun, but hey we're having Branden over for dinner, how bad could that be?
I think I get into a intense discussion with Teri over the phone when I get home. I don't remember what it was about, but it was most likely about Nastia sleeping over Brenden's house on Friday after his party and how I yelled at her about it the other day.
I really don't want to talk about it. The gist of the conversation with Nastia was; she said she was sleeping over Brenden's house after his party on Friday. I say, hell, no! it's the one thing I've said in the past I don't want you to do. I yell alot and Teri calls her upstairs ending it. I tell her the next morning I'm sorry for yelling and in doing that I expected something from her side. She makes like she is asleep and I leave.
So after the fight, I break out the raspberry vodka and lemonade, pour a strong one and start to prepare for dinner, something Nastia should be doing.
To my surprise, Elena is staying for dinner. Something Nastia didn't do when Matt came over the last time. I set the table, put the meat loaf in the oven
I just remembered what set me off when I got home. I'm driving on Lake Road when I pass Nastia and Brenden walking down to Dunkin Donuts to get drinks and I'm home getting things ready for her dinner party.
Teri calls again and I make nice and tell her I'm better. I set aside my anger about Nastia not taking responsibility for her dinner party and just do it. Two large vodka and lemonades help alot too. Alcohol doesn't effect my like it used to. These two drinks just make me a little light headed and I get a headache later. There is no more goffyness like in the past. I miss that.
Nastia and Brebden show up and she asks why I set the table when it was her sister's night. I think the answer I want to say, is it needs to be done and it is your dinner party, but say it needed to be done. I've taken over the preparations. The pots of water Nastia put on before she left I've turned on and the water in one boils. Into it goes Cavatoppi (that curly macaroni). The pierogies will go in later. I always make two meatloafs I've said. And the recipe calls for evaporated milk. One of the reasons I make two is I waste less evaporated milk. This time after all these years it hits me, put the last of the evaporated milk in the mac and cheese. So I do and it is a major improvement on it.
It's after 7:30 and time to eat. Everyone has wandered away so Teri goes to call them back to eat.I hand out big plates to everybody. Teri these days uses a small plate and I didn't take one out. When she looks for her plate a look of hurt and I've been forgotten again crosses her face. When I see this I jump to get her plate. I didn't forgot her, I was going to get it after I handed out the big plates, I sware.
Branden stands like he is a guest and I tell him to just dig in don't be a guest. He chuckles a little and with Nastia and Elena starts to serve himself from the pots and pans on the stove.
Branden is a meat and potatoes guy. I have a friend like him and if I'd taken the time to think about it I might have told Nastia to serve steak and fish for dinner. Steak for him, fish for her, but she thought he'd like this. He takes half of a slice of meat loaf, some mac and cheese and goes to sit down. Later Teri will say maybe he is dieting, Nastia did say he wanted to lose some weight. We all sit down to eat. Branden talks about how everfything he likes to eat she doesn't. He likes steak and cheese, dislikes fish and vegetables. Nastia likes loves fish, only eats meat in certain forms like meatballs or cajun meatloaf. I think Branden didn't like the meatloaf. A piece sits on his plate after he is finished. Conversation is a little on the blue side (raunchy,risque') after that. I think I might have starded it unintentionally by telling Elena I looked up fletching on line and it was disgusting (and it is don't look it up. it has nothing to do with the feathers on an arrow) She then asks if I looked up Alabama hot pocket (also disgusting, don't look up) I tell her no. and off the rails goes the conversation.
If Branden doesn't come over again I understand. usually conversations don't happen like this on regular nights.And I guess we have tried to raise the girls to be open and voice as many thought as they feel free to do. Sometimes it does go above and beyond where it should.
Clean up is quick, it's late and Teri and I are tired. Branden sits and talks for a little while. The night ends and it seems to be a success
/
Tuesday, August 31, 2021
Sunday dinner with Brandon
The other day Nastia tells me she has invited Brandon over for swimming on Saturday and dinner on Sunday. Saturday's swimming never happens for a few reasons. Of course one of them I blame on Brandon not wanting to come over, right or wrong.
Sunday, Nastia is working from 9-5. She plans to make chicken parm for him. It's easy to make, but it just takes time.
Nastia arrives home at 5:40, I tell her she has to start making dinner for her 7:30 sit down time. I'm figuring better to be early then late.I start Nastia cleaning the chicken while I get other things ready. She cuts into the chicken with a dull knife I'd forgotten to sharpen first. I clean the first breast showing her how to do it and how I want the meat to be cut into smaller pieces.She does her best to clean the chicken and only destroys a little bit of the breast. She cut the chicken up into smaller pieces and then I wack the meat with a small cast iron frying pan to flatten it, having lost my mallett several weeks ago. The handle fell apart at the mallett. That mallett might have been older then our marriage, but just like Charlie Watts and Ed Asner, nothing is forever. I enjoy smacking the chicken with the frying pan for some reason.
I have set up the stations for the chicken, while Nastia is drying off the chicken.The three stations Flour, egg/milk and bread crumbs/grated cheese. I start to show her how it's done when she reminds me I'd shown her how to do it before. She dives into it using her hands. I don't like fat fingers(flour,bread and egg mixture sticking to your fingers) so I'd use a fork. After a few moments I notice she she's packing the flour on the chicken and I see the bread crumbs are wet. I remind her a dusting of flour is all that is needed and to let the egg drip off the chicken before dipping it in the bread crumbs.
I took two videos of her fight against the frying pan. I'll try to post it. The only problem she has in her duel with the frying pan is her arms are just too short. She gets all of the chicken into the butter and oil without an incident.
The Chicken finishes cooking and Teri comes home from Costco. I go out to help leaving Nastia to get a pan and some macaroni together. She chooses small elbows. In my non italian house growing up this would have been fine.Even now I see nothing wrong with it, I'd eat it. Teri for better or worse has a handbook that say when each macaroni can and should be used. I've never seen the book, but I do know the basic and small elbows are not for dinner. The are ok in pasta salad and the likes. When Teri see the elbows she says they are not eaten for dinner in this way. I'm thinking I did warn Nastia. Poor Nastia puts up a good fight, but she is mommy overwhelmed rather quickly. Nastia's second choose is cavatoppi, a curlie macaroni that I buy in bulk from work. It comes in two five pound bags. For 89 cents a pound it's a deal. I usually seperate it into single pound bags then save the bags to reuse. I've only done one of the bags and we've run out. Nastia likes the taste of this brand so I ripe open the five pound bag pour most likely over two pounds of pasta into the zip lock and give it to her. She runs off, I pour macaronis into the other bags, dropping a piece or two here and there that later I will step on and crush. I seal the macaroni against the outside world to stay fresh and put it all back in it's box.
Around this time Nastia tells me she is going to have fish for dinner. After cooking the chicken with her somehow it seems so wrong and I tell her that. I don't completely understand why I feel this way, so I can't explain it to her. I'm even angry about it. I talk to Teri and she is unfazed, so I go to Nastia and tell her it is ok for her to have fish, her mother agrees with her, not me. She end up eating chicken.
Back upstairs I'm drinking a lemonade with raspberry vodka I poured. Yes I want to do this as much as Brandon, but I don't have to do it sober. To my surprise Nastia takes my cup and say I need some of that. I guess I'm not the only one. THe chicken goes into the oven. Nastia takes a little more of my drink.
Brandon shows up and dinner is only fifteen minutes late, he is on time. We sit down to a tasty chicken parm dinner.
Dinner is relaxed, I'm pleasant and everything I told Nastia I would be. I'm also on my second raspberry vodka and lemonade. Brandon goes for seconds of the chicken parm as do I. Nastia who doesn't like chicken does not.Asked why she made chicken parm, her reply is..and let's all say this together..."Because Brandon likes it."
I start to clean up. I've become a person who can't sit at a table and talk. I leave that to Teri. Despite what she says Teri is good at small talk and maybe she really does enjoy it. She is getting to know Brandon and I'll do clean up. The mess is not a bad one considering what was cooked. Dinner and clean up are finished around 9:30 I believe. By now I'm drinking water to avoid a hang over (I'm not that big of a drinker any more. Usually one or two bottles of beer or one tall mixed drink, tonight it was two tall mixed drinks) Nastia walks Brandon to his car and Teri and I settle in for a little TV. Brandon leaving after dinner is the exact opposite of what Matt would do. He'd hang out with Elena until 11:30 or so before he went home. You know I'm just saying, not passing judgement (I know you really don't believe me) OK so I am. I like that Matt is comfortable enough to stay after dinner, but I also like that I can watch some TV after the big event. So... you know, I guess... I want it both ways, or maybe I just need to finish working on Elena's room (I didn't just say that now did I?) so I can finish the attic so they can go up there and watch TV. Couldn't I just keep my mouth shut.
/
Wednesday, August 25, 2021
Title coming soon...Hurricane Henri, boyfriends and dinner
I was outside in back walking around doing the final clesn up before hurricane Henri hits. I open my phone and read Phil Everly has dead. I go inside to read the article and tell Teri.
In the living room Teri is talking on her phone to Nastia. I sit down and wait to tell her. I put my feet up on the coffee table because of my bad left knee,as she ends her conversation. I say to her, " Phil Everly died." I look down to tell her his age when I hear her go, "ooohhh, Joe..." I didn't think she cared about him. She finishes, "your feet are covered with grass."
Both girls are working today and we have told them to be home tonight because of hurricane Henri. It was supposed to hit last night, nothing. This morning I hear it it hasn't turned west when they thought it would and will still hit the are, but you know.....The weather service is not like it used to be. They'd say cloudy with a chance of shower today and rain all day tomorrow and it would be sunny all day,even at night...The girls don't have any memory of that weather service, but they still treat the weather service like they were that good. They'll want to go out with their boyfriends tonnight and they'll say it's just rain. If we want to keep them home, they will stay. That will just guarantee the storm will misses us completely.
Nastia got up at 6:30 and is home around three. Elena didn't go in until after 10 and will be home around 6, I think. I told Elena we might need her to come home early today because of the weather, but rightnow that is not an issue.
The weather was not as bad as it was supposed to be. Henri stayed right instead of drifting to the left in the Atlantic. Nastia texted, asking to go out with Brandon.She came home when I didn't answer her text. She asked if Brandon could come to dinner, then he was coming over to hang out with her, Then finally she asked if they could go out to the mall for a little while and Brandon would come for dinner. I told her to be home around 7. Around 6, she walks in the door saying they went to BJ's and decided to come home. I ask her if that meant Brandon was not coming to dinner, she said yes.I was not pleased. Later I would tell her Brandon Davided us (Promising to be there for something like taking my daughter out, then at the last moment coming up with a very poor excuse. David, "I have to take my grandmother to the store.")
Monday, Elena has decided to invite Matt over again and she will cook dinner. It will be Chicken, mashed potatoes and a vegetable. It should be interesting. And yes this is a version of what I want Nastia and Brandon to do. She or they don't have to cook dinner, they just have to be regular visitors around here.
Teri and I had a talk about my anger/disappointment about Brandon not coming around the house. Teri is deathly afraid that I will scare Nastia and Brandon away. Teri thinks there will come a day very soon where Nastia will want to go somewhere with Brandon, like I don't know Puerto Rico and I will tell her she can't go because Brandon has not taken the interest in getting to know us and Nastia will say she is over twenty-one and doesn't have to listen to us anymore. Before I thought about this I would have fallen into the trap of saying if you go don't come back. Now I am prepared to say that if you go I will be very hurt. And when she comes back I will give her the cold shoulder for a few days showing her how hurt I am. I believe I make a mistake allowing Brandon to text he was outside on there first date and I allowed that because I was just as uncomfortable meeting him as he would have beenmeeting me. I have been playing catch up since then. And all I seem to be doing is losing ground.
Matt is comfortable around here. I don't have to stand around and make conversation with him if I don't feel like it. He is comfortaqble enough to go get seconds at dinner and refill his plate and not worry he is taking too much. That is what I want for Brandon. If they get married Teri feels that if I have made this an uncomfortable place we will lose Nastia. We'll be the family getting the onece a month call, that we'll make and one of us will say How are you, her reply fine. What's going on in your life? Well, you know work and the kids say hi...... I'm trying to tell Teri were on that road now and if we don't get him over here we will one day be strangers to our grandkids.
I'm going to leave hints and instructions for Elena to make dinner tonight. SHe wants to make chicken cutlets. So I'll take out the flour, a knife to cut and clean the chicken with and then I will text her instructions on how to make cutlets. Not ever having done this before will make it a challenge that she will rise to. She has changed alot in the last few years and I'm sorry if it sounds corny, but when you find that first love and it might be the one, it inspires you to greater heights. I think she is inspired.
I left work early to make sure I was there to help Elena cook dinner. I'd left out some of the items she'd need if I'd been late. She texted about making the chicken cutlets saying she wasn't going to use the flour. I told her she needed to use the flour so the bread crumbs had something to stick to.
I watched her clean the chicken cutting off all that crap they are allowed to leave on them. The mallett I'd had for years broke several weeks ago and I'd not gotten a new one, so we improvised and used a small cast iron pan to flaten the chicken. Every so often I'd wander away or drink some beer to let her do things on her own. I didn't want to be tempted to do things for her. I put the oil and butter in the large cast iron pan and turn on the heat. She floured, egged, then bread crumbed the cutlets and finally into the warm pan to brown. After they browned I told her to put them in a 300 degree oven to finish cooking and stay warm. I set out th eamounts of ingredients for the mashed potatoes because it was getting late. She made the mashed potatoes, warmed up the vegetables and around eight we were ready to eat.
Dinner was really fun. Someone started a joke about crabs, not the one you want to catch. I recorded most of the conversation and I haven't seen Teri laugh that much in a good long time. It made me very happy.
Clean up was quick and by nine and change everyone was finding a place to sit down and relax. I ended up in Teri's and my bed room. Matt and Elena were on the big set in the living room playing minecraft. Teri was sitting in the chair talking to them as they played. Nastia had gone up to her room to talk to Brandon.
Earlier in the night I'd had my talk with Nastia about Brandon coming over. Earlier Teri and I had talked about it and she had expressed her fear that I'd get angry with him not coming over and I'd have a fight with Nastia about it and she'd leave and we'd become the family thst got that call once a month and who would be the strangers to their grandkids. I took all of that good advise into account and changed how I was going to talk to her. I don't remember how I started, but I told her he needs to come over if she wants to go away with him. I also said I have and will make it as easy as possible for him. I will not scare him away. I will be friendly and as welcoming as possible, all he has to do is show up and become as comfortable as Matt now is here. I can walk in and say hello to Matt and leave. He has become part of the family and that is all I want for Brandon. I think Nastia finally understood. She said she'd ask him. I said no you tell him, this is important to you. You see that little finger on the left. I'm there, he should be on the right little finger. She laughed.
/
Friday, August 20, 2021
Sleepovers and dinners are the big thing now
Nastia informs Teri and I she is again sleeping over JJ's house. She is going to go out drinking on Tuesday night and she wants me to driver them over to D&D's in New City again. She then sweetly asks me for twenty dollars. It's funny how she goes out drinking and I end up light in the wallet and end up with the hang over.
On Tuesday, Teri and I are warming up left overs from Amici's in Central Nyack, but it's about time to pick up Nastia. Dinner is put on hold and off I go.in unde
I pick them up from JJ's house and drop them at D&D's. I scrape my right rear tire against the curb and wonder if I ruined my rim and tire I scrape so hard. I hung Nastia, tell her to be safe and offer again to pick her up when she wants to leave. She declines saying they have a ride.
I climb into bed around 11:30. I text her that I will have my phone on if she needs me and my offer to pick her up still stands. I my surprise she texts back saying they are tired and would I pick them up. I am surprised and pleased she wants to leave. Sleeping will be alot easier now.
It takes a few minutes to leave and I'm at the bar in under ten minutes. They are out side waiting and it seems they have had very little to drink. I drive them to JJ's hug Nastia, tell her good night and she gets out and walks disappearing into the darkness of the driveway and she is gone. I wait a few moments and think I see shadows at a distant light. I put the car in gear and down a quick K turn and head home. I don't like a home without the girls in it. It's quiet.
Nastia bowls on Wednesday and she again sleeps over JJ's house. I see her for the first time Thursday evening when she and her mother who left work early because of a fire alarm are in the process of making dinner, little tomates cooked in oilover pasta, it's good.
Elena works and hangs out with Matt most evening. On Wednesday Teri and I get a text that Elena has invited Matt over for dinner. Elena is asked again what she is cooking for dinner. Teri comes up with Yankee Tower Meatloaf burgers. This is my invention. I invented it one night short of time and I wanted Yankee Tower Meatloaf. Make Yankee Tower Meatloaf is simple and easy. 2lbs meat, an onion, swiss cheese, american cheese, an egg, bread crumbs and two beef bullion cubes. It needs to cook for an hour.Make it into burgers, put them in cast iron pans or whatever and as soon as the cheese begins to run from the burger, it's done.
When I get home I tell Elena she is going to help me cook. Matt always ever ready to pitch in offers help too. I give Elena as much as I can to do. She cuts the cheese, adds the ingredents. We also cook mac and cheese and when Elena opens by mistake a can of cream corn we are making corn fritters. Another easy thing to make. Can of cream corn, an egg, salt and pepper add flour until the mixture plops when you drop it in. This is a very technical term. Take a spoon and sometimes, if your good you can use a fork. The adventurous ones will use a whisp. Scoop up some of the mixture after everything has been added and drop it back in to the bowl from a distance and listen. If you hear plop, it's ready to cook. You want a delicate sound. The louder the plop the thicker the fritter. It's a learning process. I remember my om telling me her father told her this was how to make corn fritter. After sixty-three and a half years this is one of my only connects to the man.
Teri comes home and start picking in even when I tell her to go into the other room and relax. Her reply, "There's something called team work." I tell her she has nad a rough day and can use a break. She continues to clean up. This meal is one of those time I seemed to use ever pot and pan in the kitchen. We sit down to dinner sometime around 8:30. And yes I did tell the social worker we ate dinner at 6:30 every night twelve years ago.
Teri and I are pleased that Matt feels comfortable enough to feel his plate and then go back for seconds. He even takes a burger home with him. I happy he is this comfortable here. This is why I want Brandon to come over so he is this comfortable and I don't feel I have to entertain him when he comes over. I can be myself and ignore him and watch TV like I do when Matt come over. That's not completely true, it's still my goal.
Dinner then clean up and Teri and I sit down infront of the TV around 10. It was a long day, but dinner was good and at least at this writting both of our daughters are happy and safe.
Nastia just left for work fifteen minutes ago. She is working 9-5 and will be home for dinner. Elena is working 10-6 and seeing Matt tonight, so it three for dinner on Friday tonight.
/
Tuesday, August 17, 2021
Seaside Heights- To the beach*
* Not a very catchy title, I'm long out of them.
Saturday, the long planned trip to the beach happened. It started out like the BBQ the week before. I did nothing until the last moment, so did the girls.Teri on the other hand made up some lemonade and vodka to take (don't tell anyone, it's not allowed). She had cheese and some pickle dip, she was ready.
I waited until around ten PM the night before to get everything together. It turned out to be mostly easy. I lucked out and all the beach stuff was where I'd put it two years ago when we got home in 2019 from the beach. I placed two umbrellas, four chairs and the dunebuggy cart we'd bought about a decade ago to haul all this stuff in a pile outside. The dune buggy was showing it's age. The two metal bars of the cart that hold the plastic mesh pocket open to put stuff in were missing. I found one and struggled to put it back in place. It was still hot and very humid at 10 pm, so my frustration mounted. I didn't remember how the rods came out until I was wheeling the cart to the beach. I ended up bending the rod to get it in and with that I left everything on the side of the house to pack in the morning.
The next day Teri and I get up at six. I bring up the cooler, and start to pack the car.
We are planning to stop at Perkin's Pancake House in Tom's River, so no breakfast and the early start. I get Elena up and when I get Nastia up she says she has an alarm set for a little while later. I tell her she'll have to make sure she doesn't waste any time then.
The plan, I almost wrote vague plan. With Teri there are no vague plans, there's just plans. Me on the other hand... well I did get to Moriches several weeks ago with my vague plan.
The girls are up, the car is packed and I tell Teri we need ice, she is not pleased, it wasn't in the plan. We stop, get ice and then pick up Nancy (in the plan). Teri calls Sallyann and Kenny to tell them we need to stop at Costco to get gas(that was in the plan) and then we can be off.
A quick Costco stop , we link up with Sallyann and Kenny and we are off. Traffic for a Saturday is moderate. This deep into COVID and with the delta varient raging I guess it is a sign that the area is reasonably well vaccinated. We hit traffic in the Oranges (that was in the plan) and are making good time. We stop at the Cheesequack rest area (in the plan). The State of New Jersey is talking about renaming the rest stops after famous people of New Jersey, I like the rest stop names, even this one which makes me thing of a weird natural disaster.
At the rest stop Nastia switches cars, I'm a little hurt, I don't get to be with her much any more, you know her hectic social life and all, but this is what she does. She is comfortable everywhere it seems. I don't know if she invited herself, but there is more room in Sallyann's and Kenny's car.
We exit the Garden State Parkway at the Seaside Heights exit and once on the main drag we start looking for Perkins. Two years ago, Nancy, Nastia, Elena and I on a rainy day had breakfast there, it was only ok, but we don't have breakfast out often and I was loooking forward to it. Seversl miles down the road on the right side the sign appears. We pass the entrance and make the turn at the light and realize Perkins didn't survive COVID,(not in the plan) it has a for rent sign in the windows. I guess I wasn't the only person who thought it was only OK.
We find an IHOP across the road, a half mile away. The hostess says 45 minutes, I'm thinking that's it we're leaving. To my surprize everyone is willing to wait. Within ten minutes we are seated. Breakfast at IHOP is a lot 
like breakfast at Perkins two years ago, only OK. During breakfast I find a tice on my calf. I crush it and it spurts a little blood on the table. I wipe it up and look up information about ticks, then move on.
Teri drives down Hopper Street, the main drag of Seaside and after taking a look at all the prices of the parking lots, we decide to park in the $17.00 lot. Nancy offers to pay for the $18.00 and Sallyann and Kenny were going to park in the $25.00 lot. We unload all our supplies for the beach and head out. I'm expecting a super crowded beach. It's hot, humid, sunny and a Saturday. The parking lot we are in is mostly empty. The beach is crowded, but it is easy to fine a good spot near the high tide mark and we can spread out to as large as we want to without infringing on anyone else and we do.
The girls are off into the water. I sit in my chair and watch them in the water. Teri settles into her chair, puts sunscreen of 55 on and after a while decides to go into the water. She invites me to go and I go relucantly. I didn't bring a change of clothes and I don't want to wear a wet bathing suit/ shorts for the next eight hours. I shouldn't 
have worried about it. We go in to our ankles, then a little deeper and finally the ocean gets a little tired of our reluctance and sends a big wave in that splashes us and gets us pretty soaked. After every wave Teri grabs a hold of my shirt and wipes her face off. After the big wave, I have to turn so she can find a dry spot on my back.
Lunch is disjointed. Nancy goes up to the Beachcomber. She loves a sandwich from there and goes everytime she is at the beach. I don't know what I want and when I go up I start walking north and everytime I think I see something 
that might be good I look at the price and convince myself it's not worth the price. I end up walking to the end of the boardwalk. On the way back I stop and buy some french fries. Just short of the shop Doug, Ruth's husband used to buy his sausage sandwiches at I see Elena walking with Katie. I run up and jump trying to land as close and as loud as I can to Elena. SHe doesn't bat an eyes as she says, "Oh, it's you." I offer french fries before I take off toward our spot on the beach. At our spot I offer french fries all around Nastia takes some.
Late in the day Elena starts to dig another hole. She wants to get buried again. Katie joins her, but Nastia isn't interested. I guess she is feeling grown up and the hole might be too childish, or maybe she just doesn't want to get all sandy.
Most everyone takes a last swim around five or so Nastia want to change out of her suit, but Teri says she can't change in the bathrooms. So she changes under a towel and in a sun dress. Later Elena goes up and changes in the bathrooms.Did't bother asking, I think the difference is Elena didn't ask or say anything to her mom.
Up on the Boardwalk about six, I survey the damage from missed sunscreen spots. Teri has a few spots she missed and surprisingly I only missed my nose. Nastia and Elena get away with no burn spots. Nancy who spent the entire day 
laying out in the sun, well it was hard to tell, her skin seems well tanned.
Elena researched hermit crabs and she made a substantial investment in a habitat for the crabs. So her goal today is to buy some hermit crabs to keep as pets. She and Nastia go get their ice cream and walk down to the place that sells them promising to be quick. Teri and I sit guarding all the stuff we bought to the beach. Teri goes off to clean up. On her return I go get ice cream for the both of us. Finished with my ice creaam I begin to wheel the stuff to the car. On teh way there the cooler has spread the uprights of the cart allowing the bar I spent so much time trying to put back in to fall out. Now I remember how to put it back. Then twice on my trip to the cat the cooler falls off the cart. Ice and water mix with sand. It is time for a new cart I think at this point.
At the cars, people are tired and a little cranky. Stuff is loaded up and off we go. Teri used to let me drive on trips like this. Now a days she does all the driving. We get home a little after nine. All the stuff is taken out of the car and stacked next to the door of the garage. All cooler items are taken inside and everyone races to the showers. After I cook up a few hot dogs for everyone it is finally time to sit back and think about all the adventures we have had today. I was nervous about the trip in the morning. Tonight, I am glad we went. It was well worth the effort to get there and I want to go again.
/
Thursday, August 12, 2021
Elena turns twenty-one
Tuesday, August 10, 2021
The Laudeckero BBQ
Ever since it looked like COVID was on it's way out (and as of right now it is not mostly because of idoits like Ron DeSantis of Florida banning masks) I wanted to have a BBQ. I talked to my mom and she said yes, it would be a great idea. I asked Eric and he said let's have it between the houses on Klein, Teri liked that idea. Then Denis got sick and Eric got involved with issues with Tina, his mother in law, then Tina dies. It quickly turned into a not so happy Spring. Then it turned Summer and everyone is busy.
At the July 4th fireworks in Nanuet sometime around the 11th, it was decided that the Laudeckero's would have a BBQ. Now the Decker family and a small branch of the Laudiero several weeks before had decided to form a new family.They wanted to be seperate from others and well you know. So they formed the Laudeckero's. Plans were made. 
There was to be a BBQ on the 7th and the beach was the 14th. Unfortuniately the Dutches County fair is the 24th and the girls can't take off three weekend in a row so it will be missed again this year.
The vinyle chairs had been stacked for about two year up against the fence. Roots had started to grow around their sunked feet. Leaves the fall and polynoses from the spring had become homes for the many insects living between the chairs. I didn't look forward to the job of cleaning them. I'd used a once white vinyle table to put some things on earlier in the year. It looked very grim for the BBQ. The weekend before the BBQ I stuck to mowing the lawn between rain storms and going to the now open movies.
Mid-week a savior appeared. Elena decided to start to clean up the back yard. She bought a vinyle cleaner, but quickly tired of the tedious task and asked if she could buy a power washer. Teri said Grammy had one. The power washer quickened th ejob, but life interfered with her work and on the Thursday before the saturday BBQ I made my long put off appearance to work. I cleaned some chairs and the next night cleaned some more.
Come Saturday morning Elena, who'd the day off comes out to help some more. When I tell her all of the chairs have been cleaned she points at several asking if they have been cleaned. A little insulted I say yes. For all the unknowing vinyl chairs get dirty and stained by just being.When you clean them there remains a shadow from where the dirt was. Even using a power washer the shadow remains and sometimes the stain looks like it is more then just a shadow, so yes she had a point, but th echairs were going to get no cleaner. I do set her up with the power washer at the far end of the yard to clean a few of the chairs and the tent top in storage for over two years.
Earlier I did dog patrol, if you know what I mean. I did a good job and it was nice for once to walk safely around in bare feet in the yard. (you know what I mean now, right?)
Nastia, Elena and I set up the frame of the tent until Elena has cleaned the top.The yard is starting to come together. I go in to take a break. It is getting toward 2 when everyone is supposed to show up. I spy the vodka and lemonade Teri has made up for the BBQ. I grab another bottle of raspberry vodka, splash some, well more then some in a glass of ice and pour some lemonade into it. This drink is always dangerous, it sneaks up on you. I sip it and everywhere I go someone asks me why I'm drinking. Teri, "you know it's early?" Nastia, "Isn't it a little early to start, can I have some?"
Matt has been over since early. He came over and has been a great help. He asks if he can have some. I ask him how old is he. He is still twenty. I tell him he can have some, but not alot. He must promise me that just like the girls if he has too much to drink he will tell me and I will drive him home (well someone else will) He agrees. I don't see him drink anything. Neither do I see Elena drink anything and Nastia only a little. I don't start a second until well later.
People show up a little late. They had called Teri so it was ok. I start the hot dogs and some burgers. The chicken from the crock pot is falling apart and tough to brown on the grill. The total number of people who show up on this day runs up about a dozen. We all end up sitting around the picnic table mostly leaving all those power washed chairs alone.
Elena and Matt are thinking about going in the pool. I some how get involved and Nastia comes up on the deck. And while Elena is tring to push me in the pool I think it is funny, so I push Nasita in. She is not pleased. She says it's cold. She stays in for a little while. With Matts help Elena goes in and she then starts to splash Matt and myself. Eventually I go in. I try to just relax leaning on a raft. Elena swims under the water toward me to 
grab my feet. I end up grabbing her feet and she thrashes like a fish on a fishing line. She escapes and she jumps up and the deck. Her bathing suit comes down in the back a little and moons everyone in the pool. Her bathing suit is the type of suit that girls buy and wear to show off on the beach andnot get wet. I'm sure she bought it for Matt and a couple of times he got to see more then the suit was intended to show. The moon was out.
Things settle down when everyone gets out of the pool. We hang out and talk until it starts to get dark and then go inside for dessert.
It was a beautiful day and lots of fun. Well worth the work to clean up the yard. I hope everyone else enjoyed it too.
/
Monday, August 9, 2021
It's Wednesday, but not the same Wednesday as before and Nastia goes to the beach.
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