Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll*

 * Really only one        

I've always tried to be open with my daughters about sex, drugs and rock and roll. I've told them many times their music sucks. I expect them both to have healthy and happy sex lives, just not today. In all seriousness, I'm sure one of them has had sex. Now when it comes to drugs Teri and I have been open and above board about them. We continue to remind them that they come from parents with addictive personalities. We tried to steer Elena away from energy drinks, but have not been very successful. I dread the day she wakes up with her first caffeine headache. Or worse has a heart scare from all the caffeine she ingests. Elena and Nastia in relaxed conversations occasionally drop hints as to their familiarity with the current drug culture. When I talk about pot, they call it weed. When I mention dime or nickel bags, they talk about eighths. For me a dime bag, the few I bought were ten dollars. Nastia says an eighth is forty dollars. Most likely an eighth is an eighth of an ounce. F'n millennials got to change everything. Take it from someone who watched peace, love and understanding baby boomers find reality. Most of what you're now doing will mean nothing when you're forty plus. 

Anyway the reason for this post. Nastia bought home from work a bit of weed (really, it's still pot) for a friend at work. It was the size of a button and not a big one. She wanted to smoke it and asked me if I wanted to join her. I said ok. She then goes on that we need a grinder. I get confused and ask her why? She says to grind it up into a powder so it can be smoked. I tell her it's not necessary, but we will need rolling papers. Nastia wants to use a pipe. Teri gets invited to joins us and she still had a pipe from her old days (I can't help but laugh about that and I don't know why) I crush the weed (really, it's still pot) and put it into the pipe (she really still has her pipe and it's really cute) We go into the kitchen to get the lighter and I light it up, take a quick drag feeling it enter my lungs and my wanting to cough as it expands in my lungs. I hand it to Nastia, she takes a small hit and then over to Teri who takes a deep drag and it goes around once more being relit at each stop. After two rounds it is finished and it was harsh and really crap weed (really, it's still pot!) I go to watch TV wondering if it will hit me like the pot brownies from earlier in the winter. It doesn't, it's crap weed (really....IT'S POT) Nastia goes upstairs to facetime a new person (guy) she has become friends with. She comes down later and pulls a Teri and falls asleep on the couch with her head in my lap. I watch TV until I get sleepy. Teri goes up at 10:30. Nastia sleeps until 12:30 when I try to gently wake her up. The next morning she blames the weed (POT!!) for making her sleepy. I guess it was sleepy time pot (WEED!!, OH, WHATEVER!!!) It was a major nonevent. Oh, I take that back. When Elena comes home at 9:30 she complains we smoked without her. Yeah, this is starting to sound really weird. I still think the idea of control, even if it is an illusion is necessary. We try to be approachable and open to things that we remember happening when we were younger. My parents didn't want to or couldn't talk to me about many things that I came in contact with over the years. The fact that they ignored them didn't make them go away. I also understand that just because they are open about things doesn't mean that Teri or I have any control over the outcome. We would really like Elena not to drink energy drinks, yet she still does. Smoking pot or making brownies with weed in them lets them know we condone their use. Even if we didn't would that stop them from trying them. Again I know control is all an illusion. So we concentrate on responsible use. We don't drink and drive. If you smoke be careful and call us. We'll come and get you no questions or lecture. Elena is allowed to drink Mike's hard lemonade, at home. She is just twenty and as long as she is reasonable, no problem. I guess that is all you can do. I hope I don't look back a few years later and wonder what possessed me to give them this latitude.

/

Covid Bowling

Social distance bowling

 It was a strange night, last night. Nastia, Elena and I all went to the bowling alley to start this years league. Last years season ended in March like just about everything else. Bowling Alleys are just about the last places to open. I think only bars without food service are left to open. That doesn't mean life is back to normal.

I meet Nastia and Elena at the bowling alley. We are asked to call to be let in the front door. One of the attendants then take our temperature with a laser temperature gun. If you are normal, you are let in.

Each lane has been assigned a table to sit at. When it is your turn to bowl, you can then go up to the lane and bowl. Iwear glasses that hold down my mask. I learned quickly that I need to go slower and keep my head up because the glasses aren't right up against my face. It's different. 

The league is down to about eight teams. My partner of the last five or so years, Gino has not been heard from. I wanted to bowl with the girls this year and the three of us are on the same team. All kind of names were thrown around by the girls. All of them unacceptable. A name of IKYA was proposed by Elena (I'll Kick Your Ass), not good. A similar one was also proposed IBYA, I'm sure you can figure it out and who proposed it.

The bowling Alley is set up like a set from a sci-fi movie where the future is no so good. Plastic partitions separate the lanes. Everything is seperated and social-distanced. 

We bowled on lanes five and six. In the first game Elena bowled a 160 and Nastia bowled a 159. After some adjustments I managed a 164. The second game was more what I expect from the two of them. Elena was somewhere around a 120, with Nastia about the same. I'm hot and cold, but I managed a 189 in the second. We won the first game, lose the second, but took total pins, so we are 3-2 right now.

Elena and Access VR, oh it's also 9/11

      New York somehow even with all the people who are getting tired of wearing masks is still doing good with COVID-19. Everyone still expects a second wave. Video conferences are all the rage now so Elena has a interest in checking out BOCES and their automotive classes. She doesn't want to do it virtually, can't blame her. Access VR is a county or state resource that we can actually use. 

   Yesterday (friday 9/11) Elena had a conference call with her new advisor. She is a nice women, it's just Elena doesn't know her. So the walls went up. as soon as the conference call started. For years and years sci fi has predicted the video phone, the future has arrived. The connection would occasionally freeze, but the ease of connecting and the quality of everything if you sit back and think about it is amazing. Now all you youngsters have to remember I and may contemporaries started with a corded phone. It was the only one in the house and if you wanted to talk to someone anyone calling the house would get a busy signal. You know maybe that was a better time (opps, just lost the millenials) The call was not very long. Elena used as few words as she could. She asked no questions and I had to jump in to clarify some things. I'd wanted to let Elena take the lead. This is a grown up thing that everyone need to be able to do. It was a tough time for me, as a kid to learning to talk to strangers and get what I wanted. I had to learn it on my own and it took years and was tough. I want both of our girls to learn this skill as quickly as possible and as soon as possible with as little pain as possible. Growing up sucks, but you have to sometime. 

It's 9/11 again. Nineteen years ago today, like every American alive and of a certain age remembers where they were when it happened. I was driving out of Northern New Jersey when Teri calls me from work at United Water. I've told the story many times here. I also remember we were in Russia in 2009 during 9/11 and it was a nothing event over there, not surprising they didn't get attacked by terrorists and lose about 3,000 lives, more if you include the ones who have gotten diseases from the dust from the two building.

/

Nastia, Beeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss! crash

 Too often I have received a call and felt too far away to do anything quickly. 

It was Saturday afternoon I'd bought the bed linen upstairs to make the bed. I'd finished mowing the lawn and was tired. Unknown to me while I mowed the lawn my phone had switched itself to airplane mode and wasn't receiving calls. I laid down on the bare bed to take a snooze. Every few minutes Misha would move or an outside noise would wake me, so I was not getting any sleep. When the home phone

rang I was a little pissed. It was Teri according to the identification. She most likely wanted to know if something I wanted at the grocery was not available would something else do. I answered. Instead of grocery talk she is saying something about Nastia, a bee and it's pretty bad. Teri tells me it happened near the dog place on Rt 304.  As I rushed to put on shoes the story I thought I hear is a bee got in a woman's car and she hit Nastia. I'm out the door in unstrapped sandals in moments. I race down the street heading for New City again. It always seems I'm on Conger's Road heading towards an accident involving one of my children in this direction. As I'm driving toward Nastia I have a chance to reflect on previous accidents and to let my mind wander about how bad this one is. Again when I get to the corner where I supposed to see the accident, I see nothing. I turn right onto Rt 304 going toward Stop and Shop. I see a car in the left turn lane thinking it must be involved in the accident, when it drives away. A

little further down the road I see Nastia's Ford Escape's front driver's side fender crushed into the center guard rail. Behind her is a police car with it's lights flashing. This has become a common event for me, but the anxiety level has not decreased. I pull off to the opposite side of the road and cross over to her. She is standing next to the car taking something out of the car. When she see me she dissolves in tears. She starts talking about how she was driving home and a bee came out of nowhere and fell between her legs. She hates bees and when she tried to push it on to the floor with something she took her eyes off the road and she turns into the guard rail. People stop to help. A Nurse asks she if she is alright and if she is on drugs? Not helpful at this time really. Though I can imagine how it must have looked. I hug her into my arms maybe a little too tightly as she continues to cry I try to lighten the situation by saying at least she didn't ruin her new liftgate. Nastia doesn't think it funny. The accident as I understand it now was Nastia was driving home on the southbound lanes of Rt 303, she had the window open. As she nears the light to make a left turn, probably before she has slowed down much a bee out of nowhere drops between her legs on  to the seat. She jumps a little, then grabs something to push the bee off the seat taking her eyes off the road. Her one hand on the wheels turns the car to the left crashing into the guard rail. 

A few moments later Teri show up and she hugs her tightly. Both of us are just glad she is unhurt. The officer has called a tow service. This is the first time I have had to deal with someone other than Shamrock in about forever. He pulls up. I want to tell him where I want the car taken, but I don't want to be in the way. Teri and Nastia have gone home. It takes some time to get the car on the flatbed. I then walk over to him and say I want the car taken to Steve's auto body on Rt 303. He says he can't. I complain to the police officer who talks to the tow truck driver. The tow truck driver tries to hand me a load of crap that he can't drop cars at closed auto body shops. Steve's told me that is done all the time at his shop, still the driver says no can't. I tell him to off load the car, he refuses. He end up taking the car and charges me $510.00. I call the police about this outrageous amount. They tell me to bring them an itemized bill and the officer will bring it to his superior to determine if the tow truck operator did anything wrong. I have little hope. I have always hated tow truck drivers except for Chris Kelly of Shamrock who for many years treated me very well. 

The minute Steve see the car he calls me and tells me it's dead. Nastia needs another car. Well at least the car has a great lift gate on it.

/

Thursday in da hood*

 * No really it's Thursday in da hood. Yes, it's da hood- do I sound racist, I've been drinking?

Well it's now Saturday and I haven't been drinking. Nastia just left for work and before she did she told me she might spend the next few days sleeping over at her friend CJ's house. I asked why. she said it was more convenient. I then asked her how sleeping twenty minutes away from work is better then sleeping ten minutes away from work. Her reply, it's more fun. How can you argue with that. She's twenty-one, going to be twenty-two in three months. The only thing I could say was....nothing. What could I say? Yes, she does live under Teri and my roof and our house, our rules, but do I want to make maybe the best age to be full of me saying, no you can't do that. It sounds harmless, if she is going to do what she says she is going to do. I mean, she didn't sleep at CJ's when she ended up at the motel in Stony Point last week. And yes that did turn out to be harmless. And if she is going to spend the night with some guy, whether I say no or not it will still happen one way or another. I remember being that age and how we were. She know how to be safe and that's all I can do.

COVID has now been going on at least for six months. After a very rough start New York and the tri-state area seem to be doing OK. Sometimes you hear about some idiots having a party of a couple hundred and the police coming to break it up and test for COVID. People are getting tired and they have always been stupid, so what do you expect. Nastia in addition to her sleeping over her friend CJ's house said we might not see much of her the next few days (see reason above). She also might be invited to a BBQ. She is not sure if it is for just family or friends can be invited. Life during COVID.

Elena, works and doesn't date Matt. That hasn't changed. Well it has changed a little. He is back in school and he has two jobs I think. Elena is a little concerned he is stretching himself a little thin. 

Elena works most days from noon to eight. She is a manager's assistant for a specific manager. It turns out that this manager was filling in for another manager. The former manager is coming back and Elena likes being an assistant and doesn't want to go back to what she was doing. She is also talking about school but doesn't want to do it remotely. (See Nastia's experience, FYI- it wasn't good) Elena needs a structured environment with rules and someone to call her on her bad attendance without being bossy. I know that is the exact opposite of what college is. Maybe working almost full time at ShopRite and her realizing that she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life there will give her the inner fortitude to do well, when she does go back. Or maybe she has just grown up over the last year and she will just tough it out. Only time will tell.

Teri still hates her job. Her staff is not very dedicated and management above her except for one person is not doing anything to help make the job bearable. I guess we should just be thankful that we both have had jobs through the COVID-19 pandemic. Unemployment went from about 3% to over 30%. It has dropped to just under 10% now. All of this without the help of the orange raccoon. Soon I hope I can go back to hating Cuomo, but in a pinch he came through and saved New York. 

The House is not completely finished. We started with a budget of $30,000.00. We thought we could go up to $37,000.00. We finished up somewhere around $35,000.00. A copy of the final bill will be dropped off on Monday or Tuesday. I called Gary's gutter service to check out our gutters because one of them over flows over the kitchen window and the roofing guys kind of were rough on the gutter guards when the roof came off. I thought we had a lifetime guarantee on the guards, but where that paperwork is I don't know. 

Karl gave me the a number for a guy who I was told was reasonable and a bit of an artist. I had him come by and he did a through job of looking over the porch. The porch is nor huge, maybe ten by ten and there is a little bump in to make it smaller. He looked under the porch at the support columns and I wanted everything from the support columns up gone except the porch columns. He disagreed and said the support columns under the porch were no good and I couldn't just  repoint them ( put cement back in the joints between the bricks) He texted me a price a day later of $6,000.00, about double of the top end I expected. Then the other day Teri says the taxes for Nyack have come in (don't ask why we're paying) which I remember as about $6,000.00,maybe more. So no porch complete tear down (wasn't going to spend $6,000.00 on it anyway) Gary's $475.00 for a complete cleaning of the gutters will also wait, but just until later in the month, but no later then October. I will strip and paint the part of the porch we will be keeping and maybe rebuild the decking if I feel I can get away with it. We'll see.

/

It's just before school starts, but no one is going

1st day of College 2019

 It's going to seem weird. From the time the girls first came into our lives school has always been where they would go this time of year. There was a time before the girls where this time of year saw the start of school routes when I worked for Consolidated and Marcus Dairy, but it has never been like this year, really has anything? School has dominated this time of year for just about ever, but now again like when it was just Teri and I we are looking at the start of school as a distant thing and with COVID, it is a blessing we don't have to deal with it. Neither of the girls are done with school, at least I hope. Elena wants to investigate automotive repair at BOCES and Nasti will go back to RCC to finish up her degree in I don't know what. Yes that is a very common degree given at RCC. I got one myself.

Now onto something more interesting, their love life. Don't worry I'm not perving on them. I just look, ask a few questions and draw my on observations. It's what parents do. Elena is still not dating Matt. They go out together, spend a lot of time together, but she says they are not dating. That's fine. I asked Teri if birth control had been talked about with her (she stopped taking it a few years ago) and I was assured that it had been dealt with. As a father that is as close as I can come to helping or talking about sex with my youngest. Ever time the topic comes up and I am there she heads for the door. So I have learned to not go there with her. 

Somewhere near the first day of school 2010 

Nastia on the other hand tells me things that I have been told she should not be telling me. There is a comfort there between the both of us that I hope she feels she can tell me anything and I have also answered any question she has asked, even some that maybe I shouldn't have. It has lead to me knowing thing about her life that I feel are important and so we talk. She is hanging around with Keishon, the actor. He goes to Albany, where David goes and he is leaving soon to go back to school She is trying to spend as much time as possible with him until he goes. I asked her the other day is she having sex with him, she said no. Teri meet him and he has nail polish on, so last night I asked Nastia if he is gay. She didn't give a straight answer, but said if he say a good looking guy.....

The other night Nastia calls up and asks if a friend who's name I can't remember can stay over. Teri and I really didn't want to. Nastia says she can't go home because of some religious reason, so she has no place to go. When we say no again she asks if she can sleep over at her friend's CJ's house. She is given permission. She comes home, packs a bag and goes. The next morning she come in and it turns out that she and three other girls (the boys really went home?) rented two motel rooms at the Stony Point Motor Lodge. When she confessed this I expect Teri to blow up. I was angry she lied about where she slept. Teri wonders why I sometime have trouble believing the girls. Teri didn't make a big deal of it. She was just unhappy she slept in what she considered a fleabag motel. I didn't like that she lied, but it was done and over with so I left it. It's funny what sets one of us off and not the other. And yes I did take my ques from Teri about the girls sometimes. 

/

The House on Haunted Hill moves to Oboy! Street and the girls love lives*

 * hopefully they are being safe and smart

Our house was finished up this past Saturday. It looks fantastic. My only regret is that we did vinyl because wood or hardie plank was too expensive. If you don't touch it and don't look too closely it does look like a real house. Not a vinyl covered whore in cheap makeup. I know that is harsh and uncalled for, but I have always wanted to live in a house this pretty, but done traditionally with wood. I kept telling myself that if I knew what was under the green asphalt shingles I'd have done it differently, but then we'd still

have a drafty old house that costs twice what everyone else's cost to heat and cool. So you compromise and live with the results. I'm hoping for a third smaller heating bill this winter and everyone who walks by says the house is wonderful looking. So I guess we didn't do anything wrong. Plus when we sell

some kids wil want an open floor plan and they'll take down all the walls and doors we have kept up. You can't win really.

Elena's boyfriend from Christmas hasn't been mentioned because they are not together. He left shortly after to go somewhere. She then quietly started dating a kid named Hugh. We met him at Dairy Queen on someone's birthday. shortly after that his old girlfriend wanted him  back and he went. Boy, dating is still tough. Recently she has been not dating a friend she knew from middle school named Matthew. They have not been dating according to Elena for a few months. She goes out with him after work and sometimes Nastia goes along. She stays up late at night and face times him until who know how late. 

Nastia on the other hand is hanging out with younger guys still. She has made friends with Keishon, from the play. She still hangs out with Taj. who she says she is just friend with. There is no talk of David, but there is a picture of him and her still up in her room. 

They both are mostly closed books about what they are doing and who they are seeing. You have to ask because rarely do they offer up information. 

/

The House on Haunted Hill- loss and redemption*

 * There's no redemption really, but when you go to a third or fourth sequel, you really need something to grab the audience's attention to get them in the seats. What this is really about is loss of treasure and the quest to find more, hey, that's not bad either.

The opening scene: the family is tired of  the constant banging (not the good kind) around the house. The three siding guys are nice and friendly, as friendly as you can be when maybe one speaks english. No matter, their job is good and details like clean up every day are excellent.

Scene two: a flash back to Joe working on the mud room back several years ago and he discovers a horseshoe nailed above the back door. He is concerned because it is nailed pointing down and all the luck is running out of it. He gently pulls it off the cedar shake it's nailed to and dust it off and nails it right side up. The house again has luck, You can feel the luck the horseshoe generates. 

Flash forward to the present, the house construction, it's a Saturday. The guys are ripping off sections of the cedar siding. They move to above the door and work gently around the cheap piece of crap broken Home Depot light, missing the horse shoe and it falls to the deck below in a pile of debris. It's then shoveled into a wheelbarrow which is dumped in the forward section of a thirty yard dumpster (that's a real big one). At end of day the dumpster is a third full. Our hero, Joe (yes, he is a flawed hero, but well suited to his role in this picture) comes home and know he should have removed the horseshoe along with all the other hanging items on the outside of the house, but didn't. 

Sunday morning same scene: Our hero and his faithful companion Nastia trek into the dumpster to look for the horseshoe. The dumpster is only a third full it will be time consuming, but ultimately successful. A gentle rain falls damping the dust of the last few days of construction. They enter the dumpster and start to shift through bits of wood and cardboard. Then disaster strikes our hero's faithful companion Nastia steps on a board with a nail sticking up, oh no, the humanity! Our hero performs field surgery (he pulls the board with the nail from her shoe before she can step down again and drive it into her foot. For all you mommies out there the nail was rusty but didn't puncture the skin ) No need to risk further peril without proof the horseshoe is there. Our heros exit the dumpster. He texts Empire Construction and is assured that the horseshoe is safe.

Scene three: the big twist(dahnnn, dahnnn, dahhhhh that's foreboding music) At six-thirty our hero receives a text telling him the treasure is missing and had never been in the possession of the Empire Construction people. (oh a back breaking twist!!) Devastated (really just a touch sad) our hero races home (when you can do 80 on the thruway during rush hour who wouldn't) to be confronted by a completely full dumpster. The Empire boys had been earning their dough that day!! A distraught (really just sad)  Joe texts Empire construction and tells them the bejeweled horseshoe (really if it was that valuable you might have considered taking it down in the first place.) must be found. Dead silence is their response. 

The scene shifts to Monday morning, it's late August the mornings are starting cool and The Empire Construction boys arrive a little before eight. The foreman and another climb the dumpster's side. Our hero witnesses this and has been convinced the historical artifact is gone and will never be found by his loving and loyal wife (played to perfection by Ms Theresa Ann Muller, boy has her name gone WASP. We'll have to change her stage name to reflect the intensity she brings to life and her role in this drama She will forever be known, at least in this drama as......Mona Lisa Vito and we'll get Marisa Tomei to play her in the movie version- My Cousin Vinny reference) Our hero treks out to the two prospective dumpster divers to tell them their mission has been scrubbed. The treasured horseshoes long stay on this house has ended. It's existence has been scrubbed clean from the house. No one except our faithful readers will know of it ever existed over the door of in this neighborhood, in this state. How long it

reigned over the doorway can only be guessed. The Mudroom was made with round nails, but full sized two by fours. The foundation was not poured as much as just slopped together. It was most likely put up originally as a temporary structure. I would ballpark the construction to maybe sometime in the late 40's early 50's. We cut down a pine tree on the northside of the porch when we moved in in 2004. I counted the rings and it dated to 1948, so that is the date I use for changes like the addition to the kitchen, the addition of the mudroom and the back bedroom upstairs. For a ballpark estimate I think that works.

/

The House on Haunted Hill gets a make over part 2*

 * If the first ones a hit, you know a sequel is coming - Joe Muller 1997 Sun Video*

* yeah, I was there when he said it, really!

When this is over I'll have to play Our House by CSN* or maybe Our House by the Talking Heads**

Neither song really fits but my research staff and their budget is really slim these days. 

Well, it's 8:06 and the siding guys just arrived. They have been here since Tuesday and I expected they would strip at least a side of the house before they would start to put on the siding. They didn't, not that it's a bad thing, just unexpected. I got home Tuesday night after they had left for the day. I parked on the north side of the house where the open lot is I walk around the front toward the driveway expecting to see a stripped down side wall and what I saw bought me to tears. The change in the house was like night day. It was only a small section, but it showed me what was coming.  

The price keeps creeping up on us, but it is things I want that I don't mind. After taking down some of the siding they discovered the boards underneath had spaces between them and require the Tyvek I'd wanted anyway. He said he'd do it at cost. In the estimate it was $1500.00.

 I remembered when we redid the kitchen we put in a smaller window over the sink. I just remembered it last night when I saw the siding stripped over that section of the house. He'll let me know how much.

Nastia sleeps at night only in her underwear. So on the first morning I had to go into her room and wake her up and tell her a short spanish man was doing siding right outside her window. I gave her some clothes and told her not to walk around naked because I didn't want this job to take six weeks. They are moving right along so I guess she hasn't.

 In celebration of this event that has taken fifteen year let's all sing our house. Sing either one I don't care we'll coordinate it better when the house is finished.

*Our House

Crosby, Stills & Nash

I'll light the fire
You put the flowers in the vase that you bought today
Staring at the fire for hours and hours while I listen to you
Play your love songs all night long for me, only for me

Come to me now and rest your head for just five minutes, everything is good
Such a cozy room, the windows are illuminated by the
Sunshine through them, fiery gems for you, only for you

Our house is a very, very, very fine house with two cats in the yard
Life used to be so hard
Now everything is easy 'cause of you
And our la, la, la, la, la,…

** Our House by The Talking Heads

Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, in the middle of our

Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, in the middle of our

Father wears his Sunday best
Mother's tired she needs a rest
The kids are playing up downstairs
Sister's sighing in her sleep
Brother's got a date to keep
He can't hang around

Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, in the middle of our

Our house it has a crowd
There's always something happening
And it's usually quite loud
Our mum she's so house-proud
Nothing ever slows her down
And a mess is not allowed

Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, in the middle of our...

Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, in the middle of our...
Something tells you that you've got to get away from it

Father gets up late for work
Mother has to iron his shirt
Then she sends the kids to school
Sees them off with a small kiss
She's the one they're going to miss
In lots of ways

Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, in the middle of our...

I remember way back then when everything was true and when
We would have such a very good time such a fine time
Such a happy time
And I remember how we'd play simply waste the day away
Then we'd say nothing would come between us two dreamers

Father wears his Sunday best
Mother's tired she needs a rest
The kids are playing up downstairs
Sister's sighing in her sleep
Brother's got a date to keep
He can't hang around

Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, in the middle of our street

Our house, in the middle of our street-a

source: https://www.lyricsondemand.com/t/talkingheadslyrics/ourhouselyrics.html

Elena's birthday, she is now twenty

 I think about twenty years ago. Teri and I were in the Nyack House. The big talk had just been answered when the clock struck midnight on January 1st, 2000 was the world's computers going to stop working. I was told by a friend it could have happened, but didn't because of a lot of hard work. 

Over in Russia the second child of (I will fill in the black later) was to be born on August 10th. Elena was born into a world not of her making. Her birth mother liked to drink and had another child, Anastasia who at the time was fifteen months old. Their mom was not emotionally or physically able to take care of two children. Anastasia would be taken from her mother at some point to help their mother to try and cope with raising her youngest. Their mother went to live with her mother and for a while it was successful, but with any alcoholic who is not dedicated to their recovery, one miss step must have happened and she disappeared. Eventually Elena was reunited with her sister in an orphanage. We got to know them over a short period one summer in long ago time of 2009. Someone once said to Teri that the quiet one (imagine Elena ever being quiet) would be a love and be the one to break your heart. Break your heart by her large giving heart and her kindness. Of course you have to get past her defenses, but the trip has always been worth it for who ever has succeeded. 

It's been a long and strange trip for both girls I'm sure. The strength to come to a country where you don't

speak the language and to leave behind everything familiar has always amazed me. 

I guess when you have never had special and are luck enough to find it you never want to let it go and Teri and I have been that lucky.

During COVID even as dining in door has become permissible alot of places have disappeared. Elena loves steak, so we went looking for a good steak house, oh and her birthday this year is on a Monday, traditional day for restaurants to close. So Teri and I go searching around. We discover that the Outback in the mall has closed for good leaving us without an Outback locally. It's steaks have been poor lately. We search high and low looking for a good restaurant. All locations we look at seem to have a 4.2 stars rating. So I start to feel the ratings mean little to nothing. We search into Jersey, out west toward Suffern and finally decide that the best bet with the most reasonable prices would be a place called Flames in Stony Point. We make a reservation for six. My mom will later bow out because of COVID fears and at seven PM on a Monday we walk past the outdoor barriers set up to increase dining space and we enter this new to us restaurant. The tables are COVID spaced, leaving about six feet or so between each table. Our table is set and waiting for us. The waitress is friendly and she gets us our drinks. Each of us at the table put on and take off our masks as we feel necessary. After a while they just stay off. we  order drinks and start to relax. Our meals arrive and we dig in. Most everyone enjoys their food. I ordered a rib eye and Elena ordered a filet mignon. Both steaks don't see the end of dinner. After dinner we head to Dairy Queen in Northvale for ice cream. On the way there Nastia says her stomach is bothering her and she let out a slightly audible fart. It didn't matter if you heard it or not because in a moment everyone was opening windows (it was the end of a hot and humid day temps reaching 90). Needless to say Nastia needed to use the bathroom and Dairy Queen said even though it was an emergency they couldn't let us use there's. Then I tried to pay with gift cards and say said there card reader didn't work (hasn't worked in a year) I don't think I'll be coming back there very soon. The ice cream was good and Nastia did get to use the bathroom in Shoprite at the other end of the shopping center. So if you'll pardon the bad joke everything did come out ok, well at least until we got home, but I guess you read that one already. A last thought on what happens later. Times does heal all wounds if you let it and I think it will. 

/   

Sometimes it just hurts so much

 Things can change sometimes at a moments notices and if the signs are there you should be able to read them. Tonight I missed them all. In my defense they were all subtle and they only irritated me a little, but it kept building up until the inevitable explosion. 

It was Elena's twentieth birthday today and I'll get into that in a little while or maybe in another post. My little irritations I guess started with the place we went for dinner. It's called Flames or something like that. It had 4.2 stars and I have begun to learn stars are useless. The steak I got was a 16oz Ribeye and it cost $29.95. It was poor, but I didn't want to ruin the night ( I was unknowingly saving that for later) by saying it was not a good steak. I didn't have beer in a effort to watch my calorie intake and to keep the bill down. The waitress was excellent and I think everyone else enjoyed their food. We left the restaurant and took a long trip to Northvale NJ to go to Dairy Queen. When we got there Nastia had to use the bathroom and they wouldn't let us. I said it was an emergency, they said there was nothing they could do. I then tried to use my Dairy Queen gift cards and the card reader was down, It has been down for over a year! (Last time I go there) We get into the car and I'm quiet. Usually when I'm quiet like I was it is a danger sign. Nothing hit me that I was angry inside. On the way home there is construction on the side of the Thruway. Teri frets the exit is closed. I tell her it is still about a half mile away. She says no it isn't it's right there. I feel the first flash of anger. I'm still not aware of what's inside. (By the way yes the exit wasn't a half mile away, but it wasn't right there either AND IT WAS OPEN, nope no anger here) At home I grab something from the car and go inside to let the dogs out. I distract Mesha while the other dogs come out. Everyone goes inside and Teri is going to bed. I bring Mesha back outside, While I'm not looking Elena comes out and grabs the dog's snout. She has been told not to do this. It's happened before and it's usually because she is angry at the dog. I understand that, but you can't intimidate an insecure dog, who is also a coward and a bully. I didn't loose my temper in typical Joe Muller fashion. When Elena goes by me I grab her in a bear hug and pick her up and squeeze her as hard as I can and tell her I love her, but sometimes she really pisses me off. I put her down and she goes inside. It takes a few minutes for me to realize that I need to apologize to her. I was wrong to do that. So I go upstairs and I see her putting back up the gate to stop Mesha from going into the room where the cats food is. I gently touch her and getting no response I go to pick her up to hugs her and tell her I'm sorry. (reading this I see another major mistake. I just squeezed her and I expect her to accept a hug from me?) I hear, feel, sense, something is telling me there are tears in her eyes. At that moment she comes up with such fury and anger. She tells me she fucken hates me, my apologies are fucking meaningless, I lose my temper and apologize all the time. I bring my arm back to cover my chest because I think she is going to hit me. If she did hit me I think it would have hurt less then what she said.She sees my arm go up and she continues on. What are you going to fucking hit me, go ahead, I'll punch your fuckin teeth out. By this time Teri has heard the commotion and she is asking what is going on? I turn around and walk away. Teri goes to talk to Elena, to comfort her and I head down stairs feeling alone. I'm sorry if you do or don't feel sorry for me. I lost my temper and tried to correct it. I was very hurt by what she said. I have also begun to realize that there are words that can't be unsaid. I seem to inspire people to say those words to me. I don't know if it is because I want them to and I encourage them to or is it because I inspire them to feel that way and they say it.

I ended up in the kitchen. Have you ever wanted to get out of there wherever you are and realize you have no place to go. That was were I was at this point. I stopped in the kitchen listening to Teri work her charm with Elena. I was glad deeply inside when I heard a laugh. Nastia comes down to see if I'm ok. I said I was even though I wasn't. After a few moments and me thinking I could use a little attention like Elena was getting from Teri, Elena and Teri come downstairs. Elena come directly to me and we hug. Her version of crying is like she has a runny nose and she has to keep sniffing it back hard. We stand there for a while. It might have been a minute, maybe more. I'd move my arms every so often to make sure I wasn't stopping her from breathing. I wanted to tell her I was sorry, but she'd already told me my apologies are meaningless. I know by picking her up and squeezing her real hard I made her feel helpless and you can't  do that to her and that was why she reacted the way she did, I think. I did tell her I was sorry and I remember telling her that when I lose my temper I try to fix it as soon as possible. They were all just apologizes, but I think in the end maybe she didn't dismiss them out of hand. Elena's apologies are very simple and straightforward. I have yet to hear her say the words, but I knew they were there tonight when she hugged me and cried in my arms. 

/

The Play and Nastia and Keishon oh boy*

 *Say it like you're in the Wizard of OZ and you're entering the dark forest, Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my

Somehow Nastia has gotten involved with a group of kids, yes they are kids because they are all younger then her. This has been a trend with her since she and David broke up. She gets involved with guys, Taj who are younger than her and I am going to guess not a challenge to her. Not because they are dumb, but because they are younger and of course boys mature slower than girls and yes I did occasionally pay attention in class. On top of that Nastia's maturity has always lagged behind her physical age. It comes from growing up in an orphanage. Nastia has succeed in using her extensive charm and her looks to avoid doing things that a normal person her age would have to do. She has me wrapped around her little finger I'm sure you all know. I know it and most of the time I don't care and that is the problem, I'm her enabler. I wish I wasn't and sometimes I break out long enough to tell her she has to do things, but most of the time I hear Teri telling me I am doing her no favor. 

Now this play thing I have only slightly talked about. It was one of those things in my life that was on the periphery of the periphery. So far away I couldn't see what was coming. Every so often Nastia would say she is going to hang out with Keishon and watch them rehearse the play. Now it's the middle of COVID and no one is putting on plays. So I'd tell her to be careful and wear a mask and I don't want you going and all that. I never thought that they would put on the play and I never thought I'd end up going. I was told, if I remember correctly the play was based on another play called Into the woods. I'm only vaguely familiar with the first. Nastia tells me she would like me to come to the play. It is going to be put on on three nights. I tell her I can't go to all three nights, but I will go to Friday nights. It's a long time away and it doesn't impact me now (bad habit I have of scheduling things in the future and not worrying about them until they smack me in the face) So I'm going to this play on Friday night during a lull in COVID  in the northeast(for all you future people COVID ravaged the northeast and the south stood all tall and got political saying they would never have this problem and the cure can't be worse than the disease and they didn't follow the rules the way the northeast did and now they are paying a very heavy and unnecessary toll)  

The weather forecast said it would rain on Friday. When I got up that morning it was raining. By afternoon it had cleared and I thought I guess I'm going to a play tonight. At four-thirty I'm getting ready to print out all of my weekend work when a bunch of faxes come in and I spend the next hour entering all of the data, well most of it. I got to be around ten after six and I knew I needed to get out of there. I get in my car and traffic is starting to resemble rush hour, but not quite as heavy as I remember it. It seems like a bad dream all that heavy traffic and the hour sometimes more it took me to drive home. Now it's twenty minutes at eighty miles an hour. I get home, grab a folding chair feed the dogs so Nastia (I'm wrapped around her little finger) doesn't get yelled at by her mother. I get in my car. GPS says that Dutch Gardens is on New Hempstead road and my mom said it is behind the courthouse. I go there and there are no sign for Dutch Gardens. It is also five minutes after curtain (there is no curtin, I'm using it as a whatcha call it, an expression) GPS wants me to go to north Main Street, so I go. I half expected to at this point I'd drive onto railroad tracks if GPS said to, it doesn't, but it takes me to the parking lot for Hospice. So I drive back to New Hempstead road and drive past the courthouse up to where another park is. It lightly starts to sprinkle. I turn around and go into the jail parking lot, I figure why not. NO park, no signs anywhere. I end up back at the courthouse town office building. I park near some stairs going toward where I figure the courthouse is. I'm so sure I'm in the wrong place I leave the chair and Nastia's blanket in the car. I walk up the steps and a little sign and I mean little points you in the general direction of Dutch Gardens. I start to get the feeling the town doesn't want to let anyone know about their little secret treasure. I get the chair and blanket and it is very dark walking the path. In the close distance (is there such a thing) I see a small gathering of people and some lights. I open my chair and sit

in the back. I text Nastia I'm here and she doesn't answer. The rain gets heavier and I write in my phone 'The rain is too heavy, I'm going.' I don't send the text yet. I get up and I stand watching the play. I decide to move under a tree. It's safe right, (yeah I know it's the worst place to be when there is lightning) I dry under the tree. An animated women in the back near me (during COVID that's about twenty feet or so away, she's jumping around making sure no one needs an umbrella and she laughs at all the jokes and she leads the clapping. I think she is the director and the only one older then Nastia) offers me an umbrella, I decline. I reopen my chair and sit down. The rain gets heavy and I can't really hear and I didn't see the start so I am a little lost. The actors and actress are for the most part good. At a shortened intermission Nastia comes over and gets the blanket I bought. We talk a bit. she is sitting up close but alone. I feel sorry for her. The play runs about a little under two hours and at the end Nastia comes over again and I ask if she is ready to go. I've had it and I haven't had dinner. She wants to say goodbye to Keishan, (she later admits she would like to date him, all nineteen, maybe twenty years of him) but she sees he is with his Albany College friends and so she doesn't I again feel sorry that she doesn't feel comfortable enough to just go over. ON the flip side I can leave. we go towards the car and Nastia keeps heading toward where north Main street would be. I tell her I didn't find that spot. I parked way over in the courthouse parking lot and yes somewhere on North Main street there is an entrance to Dutch Gardens Park. I get french fries and a soda from McDonalds for a light late dinner and we are home by 9:15. I warm shower and a relaxing evening watching a now returned cable TV (out for three days) caps off he evening.

/ 

 

Tropical storm Isaias and the pool

 What kind of name did they come up with for this last storm? I can't pronounce it. I'm used to storms and hurricanes with names like Andrew, Mary. I remember back when all storms were named after women. Then they started using men's names, it seemed so weird, now Isaias. It reminds me of Isis, which all of you future people hopefully have no idea what they are or were and that's a good thing*

Our pool has had a rough year. It started last year when the pool water wouldn't clear up. Then the pool wasn't covered until late in October and leaves got into the pool. I figured we (I) were going to empty

the water out of the pool anyway, what's a few leaves. This past spring I clean the leaves and water off the pool cover, then empty the pool of all the water, it goes surprisingly well and the pool looks amazing. One morning, not long after I wake up to the water in the pool down about six inches. It turns out a hose has a break in it. I repair it, then the motor on the pump jams, I think it has seized and I buy another motor. Of course the pool has to sit while the motor makes it way via UPS to our door and the water turns green. Teri and I dump chemicals on top of chemicals into the water to clear it up. This past week it starts to clear up and the water finally turns from green to a foggy light blue. Then Isaias hits. I'm at work and Teri calls to tell me a large branch has fallen into the pool. I joke to my co-workers that is going to be a six inch long branch. It turns out it is one of our neighbors, Ann's pine trees and it is a monster. It crashes through our fence, misses everything in the yard and settles for right up against the side of the pool. We call Allstate and they tell us we have a five-hundred dollar deductible so get an estimate and call them. Weeeeeell it's just after a storm and all good tree cutters are taking trees off of

houses and such. I'm told to call back in three weeks. Teri says to go out and get a chainsaw, that is until she discovers that you can't buy one for twenty dollars. Home Depot had one for about $120.00 and she thought that was too much. I guess it was a good idea I didn't go to the mower repair place that has all kinds of really great chainsaw for much bigger prices. I've gotten to the point in our relationship that if Teri is going to complain about a purchase, I'm either going to not purchase it or I'm going to not tell her and hide it from her for the rest of her or my life. So if you find a storage key on my key ring after I'm gone that is where I hide all of my toys and stuff I never told Teri about. My compromise is to buy long saw blades for my electric saw and cut up as much of the tree as I can. I start Thursday night and by dark and a little after the pine tree is well on it's way to being cut up. The pool is running and the water has pine needles and small branches in it that do clog the filter, but as of Saturday it is swimmable. The most annoying thing about the tree was it was loaded with small pinecones and I kept stepping on them. It got to the point I stopped cutting up the tree to sweep them off the deck. 

*ISIL- Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant

The Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL; /ˈaɪsəl, ˈaɪsɪl/), also known as the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS; /ˈaɪsɪs/),^[86] officially known as the Islamic State (IS) and also known by its Arabic-language acronym Daesh (Arabic: داعش‎, romanized: Dāʿish, IPA: [ˈdaːʕɪʃ]),^[87][88] is a militant group and a former unrecognised proto-state^[89] that follows a fundamentalist, Salafi jihadist doctrine of Sunni Islam.^[90] ISIL gained global prominence in early 2014 when it drove Iraqi government forces out of key cities in its Western Iraq offensive,^[91] followed by its capture of Mosul^[92] and the Sinjar massacre.^[93]

/

The house on Haunted Hill gets a big make over

When the girls were going to elementary school some of the other kids used to make fun of our house. They said it looked like it was falling down. From the day we moved in we wanted to redo the outside. Originally we were going to do it in something called hardy plank, also called cement board because it does need painting and it also does not burn. The price on that when we looked into it a few years ago was going to be about $50,000.00. Of course that was an estimate from Empire State builders who started with a price on the current job at $49.000.00. So I guess if we had worked at it I could have gotten it down to maybe $38,000.00. We never went forward with the job for reasons I have forgotten. Maybe it was the next seven years of job loses and financial not quite disaster, but let's call it

misfortune. 

      Back in pre-COVID time of later 2019 early 2020 Teri and I remortgaged our house. We started some time in the fall and in typical Joe Muller fashion I took my time and we lucked into a dip in interest rates and we finished up the mortgage at the lawyers office with just the three of us some time in March 2020. The Lawyer telling us these pens were ours to use and no one touching anything that they didn't need to touch. It was all very weird and I wanted to celebrate after it was over and there was nothing open in Nyack. It might have been just after Cuomo imposed the complete shutdown of everything in the state. More weird was to come. Between the time we got the loan and last week I called people to give me estimates on replacing the roof and doing vinyl siding. In the beginning everyone was interested in doing the job, everyone was starving because the economy had been shut down. As things got better and the economy slowly opened up I got less response from people. It looked like I'd missed my window. I did contact Empire State builders. I'd forgotten they'd given me an estimate for Hardiplank years ago. Tom came in at $49,000.00, one of the highest estimates. He did also say he'd match any estimate. Long story short Affordable Roofing before they quit returning my calls gave me a price of $12,000.00 on the roof and $20,000.00 on the siding. (For all of you future people that's a whole

lot of money) Tom didn't exactly match the price, I'd lost the roof estimate from last year, but he came in close enough, $33,700.00. So we finalized everything, I gave him a deposit of $700.00 on Wednesday, on Friday they dropped roofing shingles and a monsterous dumpster. It has begun

/