Elena is a High School graduate

What started in the fall of 2009 has ended. Elena, our youngest daughter is officially a graduate of Clarkstown North, class of 2019.
   

   Elena followed what has become her usual pattern for school. Except this year she started out the year making us think she had been replaced with an exact duplicate who was interested in school and wanted to do well. For the first semester or two she was pulling a high B average. We kept asking who are you? Did someone switch you while we were sleeping? (I'd make a joke about pods and the horror movie Invasion of the body snatchers, but I don't think there is anyone alive who remembers that 1956 classic about the fear of communism) She was amazing. Sometime around January or maybe a little earlier because her second semester grades did fall a little it changed. At the time we did care, they were still amazing. I felt if she continued to do well like this maybe she would get accepted to a college that was better than RCC.
       The third semester our daughter returned and her grades fell into the toilet. It was so bad that the high 80's, low 90's average in English she had was not going to off set the bad third quarter and for a while lousy fourth quarter grades and she might not graduate with her class. So she again finally turned it on and it all ended well and good.
     

 Yesterday's (Tuesday,June 25,2019) plan was to leave at four-thirty and get to RCC before 5:15. I left work at three-thirty, Teri worked from home. I picked up my mother and was safely at home so we could all leave on time. Teri is, has become more so a person who can't, won't be late. It has gotten to the point that, well lets just tell the story. I'm taking pictures around four-thirty. Teri says we have to leave. I want her to be in a picture and she says we don't have time and so no picture of her at home with Elena. We get into the car on a bright sunshiny day that is a little too warm. It will be the first day the mercury will touch ninety. Last week we were having nights in the fifties. Teri starts to move and asks me if I know the back roads to RCC. I'm still a little pissed about the picture incident so I give an off handed yes. Nastia, proud she know the route offers to navigate and says go as if you are going to Davids.
   

 We take Lake road into New City, make a left onto Main Street and then a right onto Eckerson Road. Traffic is heavy and slow. We are crawling up Eckerson and time is moving faster than we are. Teri says something like she feels like she will vomit. Just a little east of West Clarkstown road Teri is about to have a coronary. She asks if I know another way. Having traveled these backroads for many years, but not having been on them for many years I give a guarded yes. I tell her to make the right onto West Clarkstown road. Teri starts right away where do I turn? I'm working on remembering the road, picking up landmarks and memories, trying to remember the route. God was with me and us. The route was simple and I remembered it. And the kicker was the traffic was light and we make it to RCC at what we think is five minutes late. We pull into the parking lot of the Fieldhouse. Kids in purple caps and gowns are still running around. It's a purple sea of soon to be graduates. Girls in big clunky heels are clopping around like Budweiser Clydesdales. Several year down the road they will all laugh at the shoes and wonder why they wore them.
 
   The Fieldhouse is crowded and warm, going to hot. Last year we got good seats and most all of my pictures were lost when I transferred them to my computer. This year I have hopes for better. It turns out we were not late, but we were also not early. All of the good seats have been taken and the ceremony was not scheduled to start until around six-thirty. We sit in an increasingly warm fieldhouse. I start to get sleepy. I put my head down and Teri asks if everything is ok. I answer yes. A few minutes later she asks if I am falling asleep. I answer that I am not able to because she keeps asking me questions or something like that. For all you kids in the audience, you never give your wife or significant other a wise ass answer when you are doing something that they feel is not appropriate for the surroundings. Yes, I pissed her off, again.
     
 Finally the proceeding begin. They start to call all the student, row by row to stand and walk forward and go behind the stands so they can make a grad entrance. It had finally begin. After a few moments some music started and from the other direction the class of 2019 starts to file in. Leading the group are the principle, advisors and students how graduated with special honors. After that the rest of the class in a mish mash order. I think it was the schools attempt to get away from alphabetical order.
     

When the class was standing in front of their seats everyone is asked to stand and say the pledge. Over the last few years the pledge has meant different things to me. After 9/11 I was intensely proud. When my daughters became citizens, I felt they had just become a member of one of the best places on earth to live. Now the pledge has become something that ultra conservatives have wrapped themselves in in defence from the far left liberals brand of new socialism. Leaving me in the center all alone. It's very empty here. Would someone want to join me please. It has worked for so long. Sorry for that pity party. I keep my mouth shut so much about it all that occasionally it leaks out.
     
 After the pledge, everyone sits. I was glad to stand for a moment. The Principle starts his speech.
I was pleased that he had a new one. Last years was OK, but I was pleased he took the time to write a new one. This years one was OK to and I was pleased that it didn't drag on for a long period of time like this blog.
       Next was the salutatorian and after that was the valedictorian. I looked it up and if you think about it it is obvious what they are. They are the first and second racking students in the class. After last year and this year I expect to never have to figure out how to spell these two words. For salutatorian, which I was saying wrong Google kept giving me Salvatorian fathers. While these two speeches were going on I was on my phone. I realized a the start of the first speech, I didn't have to listen. And I found the speeches annoying for some reason. I guess I have been jaded by sixty-one years of grads proclaiming the future is ours and seeing where I have ended up. It's not awful, it's just not what I expected. They began calling names a little while later
       I move from my seat and move forward and stand between two grandstands. Elena's row is next.  Nastia joins me a little before Elena's row gets up. I snap a few pictures more hoping to get the picture. Her group stands and I snap a few more. They move toward me and go down the outside isle to the front and stop waiting for their name to be called. Finally Her name is called. And as always they pronounce it wrong.  Ella na' Mule er' she gets it double. They can't pronounce either of her names. At least with me they got Joseph right. She accepts her diploma (really just the holder for it) she walks towards the center isle, stops for a picture and proceeds back to her seat. Her friend Jessica is in the last row and after she receives her diploma holder, she gets a high five from Nastia and she returns a big smile. A few moments later it is all over hats are thrown into the air a little half heartedly in celebration.

Some of the people who helped her

       I gather both girls and we start out. Teri, Nancy and my mom want to sneak behind the grandstand. I see the girls one moment talk to Teri and look again and they are gone. So I join Teri and we move behind the grandstands and wait near the door. After a little while I go looking for them and finally find them talking to some form teachers and administrators. As much trouble as she was in school everyone seems to love her and wants to be there for her. She has soo many people in her corner.
      She is given some gifts, a cat picture she hangs up in her room. There is some laughing, lots of happiness and finally it is time to leave. At the car Elena and Nastia have to go see someone and we are not ready to leave.
       When we finally leave we go to the Airmont Diner and have a very tasty dinner. Elena has a crazy shake she says was really good.

ENOUGH PICTURES!

        The night does not end there. Elena has the senior night event thingie. It's something new in the last so many years where the class go to a place and are supervised. They go from about 11 at night to about 4:30 in the morning. This year it was at West Rock in Nanuet. She played tennis, hung out with friend and had a real good time. About 4:45 in the morning we get a call, she is at the school. I get up and go get her. For someone who has been awake all night she is surprisingly awake. She talks on the way home about what she did. At home Teri calls her into the bedroom to hear her tell the story. Sometime around 5:30 everything quiets down and just as I fall asleep Teri's alarm goes off at 6.

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Friday morning, first day of summer

It is Friday morning, the first day of Summer. It is raining again. It has rained every day this week.It is cool, maybe in the low 70's. Spring has been wet and cold. Hopefully summer will not be. As I've gotten older it seems I'm cold all the time. Maybe it has to to with the fact I work in an office and a business that makes food and packs it in a room I go into often that is kept at about 65 degrees.
       Teri left for work after two days home sick. I think she hates this job more than she has ever hated a job in her life. She talks about looking for another one. I wish she would find something else. The problem is I work at a job where I don't get paid much. I've been there since October of 2014 and I really feel that I am doing some good in the world while I am doing my job. I have built something here that I am proud of. I always have a positive attitude and a pleasant tone in my voice when I answer the phone. I encourage all customers to call me if there is a problem or a question even if they want to compliment the chef. Most of my customers are elderly and sometimes I get a call because I think they just want to talk to someone.
       The Girls are both upstair asleep. It's 8:37 and both are done with school. Elena finished High School and she graduates next week. She has a party planned for Saturday the twenty-ninth starting at two in the afternoon. Hopefully the weather will cooperate.
       Nastia about a month ago finished her first year in college. She worked hard and did well. I think she said she has about a 3.0 which is fantastic.
       Both Girls are working tonight, so I guess it is Teri and I for dinner.
       When I talked about Elena and her accident I found myself repeating every time I tell the story that she has her own car, she paid to get it fixed, she pays for her own insurance and gas. She, like her sister takes care of it all. Nothing come out of Teri's or my pocket. They have done it all. I couldn't be prouder. Now if we talk about their friends the dark clouds of disappointment and a little contempt appear. Of all their friends on Ariana has a job and a car. Ariana is the only one with either. I don't know what these parents are raising. Teri and I are raising independent self reliant, hopefully women of the twenty-first century who will hopefully go on and lead lives that they will be proud of and be happy in and not have to have a partner at their side to be happy and or taken care of.

A Right of Passage, maybe

It's every parents nightmare, your child getting into an accident. There young, inexperienced and think they are invulnerable. Having lived it as a child and twenty-something I didn't appreciate it fully until now.
       It was raining yesterday. Sometimes the rain came down hard and other times there was nothing. I was in work in Elmsford. It was after two and I hadn't gotten lunch yet. There had been talk about the boss buying lunch, but it had evaporated and now it was late and I didn't know what to have for lunch. I end up going to Frank's Deli in White Plains. It's a little expensive, but the food is good. I get back to the office, sit down at my desk, turn on my phone and start to eat my chicken cutlet on a club roll with mayo and lettuce. At about the halfway point of the sandwich my phone rings, it's Elena. Now she rarely calls and usually if I'm at work I won't pick up. This time a do, but with a little trepidation. I say hello and Elena says hello like nothing has happened. She then goes on to explain that she was in a car accident in New City. I ask her if she is all right. The tone of her voice says everything is, but with her sometimes you need to ask. She says she is fine. I ask her where she is as I begin to close my computer and clear my desk. I don't think she needs my help, but I want to be there. She explains several times but she also has a habit of mumbling sometimes and all I get from her after several attempts is she is in New City, she is near Red Mango and the turn off to go into New City. I tell Ted my daughter has had a small accident and I go, it's quarter after three. Teri calls me as I head down the road. I tell her I  am on my way, but it will be twenty minutes to half an hour before I get there, traffic willing. Down route 9A to the Thruway entrance and onto 287 traffic is not bad. It gets heavy at the merge with 87, but it is not as bad as it would have been an hour later. I'm across the bridge quickly and  I hit the usual traffic in Nyack where the Thruway goes from four to three lanes. I get off in South Nyack swing around on the new exit ramp onto Route 9W and decide my best route at this point is to head as if I am going home and take Congers road straight into New City to Route 304, which is what I do. And always as if on cue  someone pulls out in front of me doing ten miles an hour less than me. I ride their bumper which causes them to drive even slower until they finally turn off the road only to have someone else pull in front of me as I pull past the other Sunday driver.
    Thirty-eight minutes after leaving Elmsford I am on Route 304 heading south. I was calm and relaxed when I left Elmsford. The closer I get to the accident the more uptight I get and the more I need to get there. Elena is still unhurt, but I need to see. I pass the turn to Main Street New City and look up the hill toward Bardonia and I see Police car lights, that must be her. I pull into the parking lot to I think The Smile Place, a dentist's office and park.
     I get my first real close look at Elena's car. I had hoped to change her flat tire with the spare and drive it to get fixed. She has two front flats, not gonna happen.
     I ask her what happened. She says she was going north on Route 304 in the right lane. The Driver of the other car, a young girl with just a permit and no licensed driver in the car is in the left lane possibly tailgating the car in front of her because when it slows down too quickly she is forced to hit her brakes and change lanes to where Elena is driving. She hits Elena's car in the front driver's side fender flatting the front tire. Elena tries to swerve to the right and hits the curb and flattens her other tire. I introduce myself to the police officers and call Chris Kelly to tow her car. About ten minutes later a flat bed arrives from a place I'd never heard of. I ask if Chris sent him, he know no Chris. I tell the police that I don't want this guy to tow the car, I'm waiting for Chris. The officer's friendly attitude disappears. I wait for Chris and of course it starts to rain. I get a picture of the insurance card from the other driver's father. He seems like I nice guy and I feel a little bad until I get to Allstate Insurance a little later.
    The Agent takes all the facts down. I ask him what will happen. The short version is Elena's car could be considered totaled if the repairs exceed the value of the car. And if that is so and Allstate pays for it to be totaled, then it can't be insured by Allstate if I pay to get it repaired. So Chris Kelly has a guy who can give an estimate to bang out the fender, replace the two tires and rims and the broken directional. I feel as if we are going to get the short dirty end of the stick again even though it was not Elena's fault. Such is life I guess.
    I'll write about this more in the future.


















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Last Day of High School ever and an award that night

It's June 18th 2019 the day after Elena's last day of classes.It's raining outside, Teri has gone to work early because she has a Tuesday conference call with China at 8AM. Teri is one of a group on the call. She is not happy in her job.
       Elena and Nastia are upstairs sleeping. It's 7:50 in the morning, the rain gives off a hissing sound out the windows on the north side of the house as it hits the grass and leaves of the trees. It quiet in the house.
       Last night Elena was given an award. She was recommended by Ms. Chamberlain, a really wonderful teacher and person. I wish I'd had  teachers like Elena has had when I was in school. I feel they have saved her from herself and possibly put her on the right track. The award was the Joe DiPasquale Scholarship.
It came with $250.00 to put toward college cost. It was very nice of Ms. Chamberlain to do that.  She has looked after both of the girls and I hope she knows how wonderful a person she is. Of course Elena didn't want to go or to dress nice for the award ceremony. It was a very relaxed informal ceremony. They had cookies and water for anyone who wanted some before and after the ceremony. In the beginning the Principle introduced people who were involved in the scholarships that were being awarded. Most came up and told a sad story about someone who'd died young or tragically and they were doing this in their memory. After a while the principle took over and started to hand out awards without any background or history about the awards. I would like to know something about the Joe DiPasquale award and what happened to start it. One award brought memories from the past. The Arthur Orlando award. I had him as a teacher about forty years ago in high school. He was a good teacher.
       The evening ended with the  principle almost begging the attendees to take some cookies as we left. I did. It was all over in about an hour and I enjoyed spending time with Elena. I get so much joy from just hanging around with the two of them, I hope they know that.
I told her I was going to use the second picture with a caption reading When Elena finds out she is an awards winner. Maybe I shouldn't. Naaaaa......

Prom Weekend and another glimpse of the future

It was Prom weekend for Elena. She and a couple of other friends had decide not to go to it, so instead they had a sleep over at Jessica's house. Nastia is a friend of Jessica's so she went to. Both Girls had to work on Friday, Nastia noon to six and Elena four to eight, so they both got there separately and late.
       I get very few details of what happened there from Elena, Nastia had to be at work this morning at eight, so I won't get to see her until later. The few details Elena gives me are, they had pizza, pineapple pizza and bacon chicken ranch. She said she would have preferred peperone.  They then watched the movie 'IT'. Now I'm hoping time will be kind to this movie, unlike what time has done to the 'Exorcist'. When the Exorcist first came out I was glad I watched it in the middle of the day and it was still light out. When the girls hear how scared I was they laugh and call me names. 'IT' is one of those movies you might not want to watch before you go to bed. She said they had fun.
       Teri and I were left on our own for Friday night. I left work about five on a Friday night. I was prepared for a long slow drive home. I was in the mood for a little Elton John, so I went on my phone, like the kids do and brought up on youtube an album of his music. I turned it up a little too loud, I cracked my windows, opened the sun roof and on a cool late Friday afternoon I proceeded to take sixty minutes to do a fifteen or twenty minute ride home. I got home a little after six. Teri calls and asks what's for dinner. She is still at work, at a job that seems to be killing her spirit. I haven't thought about dinner, so when she gets home a little while later she says, "Lets trey three guys" I'm thinking is this a new place or did two guys quit? Wh head up to five guys and are ready to eat when she notices they have put the calorie count up on the menu. I hadn't noticed, yeah I know typical guy move. I'm sorry, you just have to love me the way I am and quit pointing out my faults. (more on that later) Ter decides to not eat. I've ordered and a quick count of the calories tells me I will be consuming over 1600 calories. If I had added a milkshake, it would have been 2200. God I hate calories, they taste soo good! She relents, gets a burger and shares some of my fries. The bag of fries were in the neighborhood of something like 600 calories, I don't think she took enough to bring that count down much.
       After dinner, we leave and on the way home we do something we rarely do, no it wasn't have sex, we talked. It was going well until I told her, very innocently, without two thoughts about it because she had approved the project to my surprise (she'll never admit she did) that starting in the next several weeks, hopefully after Elena's graduation party, I will start to remove the cedar shakes on the house. Teri gets agitated (can't think of a word that describes it better, but men will know what I'm talking about), maybe animated might work. Well whatever you want to call it she proceeds to list, in a very excited way (nah, I can do better than that) all my projects that are in a state of suspension (my words, euphemisms, you'll love them or hate them.) and she will not stand for another project that will not get finished. I tell her that is why Karl is helping me and I don't tell her she originally agreed to the project. She continues on listing things that I have not finished or may she is talking about the weather, I've quit listening and talking. She notices and says, "Now Your angry?" I thought my silence had made that real clear. If I wanted a list of my failures, I'd talk to my wife, oh wait I was and she is.
       The rest of the car ride home we listen to the sound of the tires against the road. When we get home. I tell her this was a fun night, we should do it again. No, I was really just trying to get past the fight. She now is not talking to me. I go to the living room, Teri watches a little TV in the kitchen before she goes upstairs. About midnight I go up kiss her good night and think in the morning it will be over. I remember the saying 'never go to bed angry.' I wasn't angry, so I felt I could go to bed now.
       THE NEXT MORNING I'm laying in bed and I feel her get up I say "good morning" , she mumbles something, I guess she went to bed angry. Now I know why you shouldn't.
       We let the dogs out and I tell her I'm sorry about last night and I agree with what she said and, yes the truth does hurt. She still proceeds to go through my list of unfinished projects. Everytime she takes a breath, I tell her I agree with everything she has said and there is no need to go on. But she has taken a deep breath and doesn't want to waste it, so she has to go on and does. When She is finally winded, I say, almost pleadingly, "I agree with everything you have said." Well she is satisfied, she has gotten it off her chest and the world is back to what passes for normal. God help us all.






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The End of High School

You hate it, you love it,it still comes to an  end. Today is Friday June 14, 2019 and it is the second to last day of High school for Elena. I got her up this morning like I have for the past four years. Nastia having finished her first year at RCC sleeps in. The four years at North, for me have gone by in the blink of an eye. I remember nearer the beginning of High School wondering how I would manage to get through all these years of getting up at six in the morning. The Girls had is worse, after getting up at six, they had to go to school. I still would have traded with them to go back to High School even though I hated it like Elena does. It's a simpler time. After this life will sneak up on you and start to get more complicated. They'll go to College, get full time jobs, life will be great. Then they'll want things, a better car, to live on their own, to live with someone they love. They'll be making good money, so they'll get the car, a pet or two, an apartment, then maybe a house and suddenly life is not so simple, even if you can afford all your wants.
       This last week or so after getting Elena up and getting the dogs outside with Teri, I've gone back to bed. On this second to last day of her high school career she comes into the bedroom to give me a kiss goodbye. I hug her, kiss her and tell her that she is going to miss high school after it is over. I get this look for her that says, no, I don't think so, as she walk away. I should of explained that it will be more the simpler times she'll miss. The day I graduated high school, I didn't appreciate the thought that I'd never be a student there ever again. Up to the point of graduation, all of your life is consumed with school. When does it start, when are the holidays and when does it end. After it's over, it's a new ballgame.
      One of the memories I have and will keep for the rest of my life is getting up at six AM in the winter. The alarm going off too soon, the heat clicking on and the warm air flowing out of the vents. Getting out of the nice warm bed a little too soon before the heat has fully warmed the house. Going past the night light in the bathroom, making the left and going down the hallway to where the girl are both sleeping. Into the room in the half light, Elena in her sleeping bag, Nastia huddled under some soft blankets. Neither one under the sheets and blankets on the bed. Wanting to go back to bed as I gently touch their arm or brush hair from their faces. Thinking about it, maybe I guess I could do another year or so of this, it was not so bad and maybe, I guess I'll miss it too. 

Nastia goes to Jawonio and Elena's yearbook

Nastia and Elena both have IPAs (I forget what is stands for). Throughout they have been classified as handicapped. Their handicap is not something that I see in them. I thought that it was because english is a second language to them. Elena went to Helen Hayes several weeks ago, I don't remember if I blogged about it or not, but they found she had a couple of development issues and allowances were made for her for RCC, just like the ones she has at North. I like that the state has finally given back to my family after all the years of paying too much in taxes.
       As part of Nastia's Access VR program she was set up with an internship possibility at Jawonio. Now this maybe a warm body thing (to get the internship all you need is to be alive) for all I know, but it was offered to her. Nastia being Nastia, her and I take a trip up to the place so she knew where it is and then we take a second trip with her driving so I knew she knew how to get there. (Is it a Nastia thing or is it a Dad/Joe thing?)
       Her appointment is Monday at two. No one would be around to go with her to Jawonio, but both girls needs to do things more and more on their own, so she was left to do it all by herself.
       I text her from work at 1:35 telling her, good luck, relax and enjoy the experience. She texts back Thanks and a little while later at 1:47 she'd gotten there. Teri texts a smiley face and a good luck, love you. Nastia replies thanks, love you too and that was all. I didn't hear about anything that happened in her meeting. I get home about five thirty and there is some Jawonio paperwork on the dining room table (it's still there) and Nastia is out with David who was down from Albany for a couple of days. A day or so later I ask her about Jawonio. Her reply, "Well it was really nothing, I filled out some papers and she likes me. I go back on Monday the tenth."
       Elena has been doing pottery in school. there is or will be a picture of some of it here. SHe is also a senior this year. It is the last few days of high school I may ever be involved in. Depending on how fast Nastia has kids. Elena doesn't seem interested in them.
       Elena got her yearbook yesterday. I haven't gotten a chance to read what any of the teachers had to say about her. One teacher covered a page in the back of her yearbook. For a girl who hates school as much as she does she makes a lasting and deep impression on people. At Elena's last IPA meeting a few weeks ago I get up to hug Elena goodbye and turn back around to find Teri and Ms Chamberlin crying. What I miss? Ms Chamberlin will miss her. She has watched Elena from middle school to now and it is over.
       Elena has people signing her yearbook and this is the girl a few month ago who had to be pushed to send in the paperwork to get a yearbook. I'll write more if she lets me read the yearbook.
     

       Elena's been a little quiet since last nights therapy.


















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The Sleepover

Teri and I get a text from Elena on Friday at 11:16 AM:
                                        Oh I forgot to ask you guys yesterday, jasmine is having a party at her house tonight at 9:30 and she wants to know if I can go?
       Elena always texts Jasmine wants to know.... it's a little sweet and funny and defensive. What follows is the standard party?
                                     Are her parents going to be there? I make a comment, I thought she tries to stay away from them(her parents)
       Then We get a message from Jasmine on Elena's phone:
                                         Hi it's jasmine, It's not a party party, I don't drink or smoke. Ew. I can't even if I wanted to -heart problem. Anywayyy, my parents won't be home. Well probs with Netflix or hangout on my deck and listen to music.
       I think it was the Ew that swayed me to let her go. Plus as Teri pointed out she can't come home pregnant. Elena texts right after her,
                                        She wanted to give the right information to you guys.
      I ask how late will she be and the reply is they want to do a sleepover. Teri says to be home early tomorrow. Elena says she'll leave early. After it is all agreed to I remember they like to wander around New City, so one last text from me,
                                         THERE WILL BE NO WANDERING TONIGHT. STAY AT JASMINE'S HOUSE!!
       Teri sends a kissy face a few minutes later and it seems to be all set. The about two hours (2:42pm) later Elena texts again.
                                         If I don't sleep over can I stay to eleven?
       Teri asks why won't she stay? Elena replies, just in case. Four hours later (6:43 pm)  a request from Elena,
                                       Jasmine wants to know if I can stay to 12?
      A quick reply of heck no from Teri. The reason is the dogs will wake everyone up. Elena knows this but was trying anyway. Teri texts,
                                       Either stay the night or come home by 11.
      Elena replies, LOL thought so.
     We do get a text at 9:49 of a picture of a hamster that I guess is Jasmine's pet. Elena wants it.
    What happened to stop Elena from staying the night? She'll never tell. Maybe a little discomfort about staying away from her home for the first time. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it? I vote for the first one. My guess is she has a place here at our house that is safe and comforting. It is the only place in her life that she has ever had. There is safety here and she know that she is loved. She'll most likely never say it but she is very attached to us and her home and her life here.
       Now the dumb part. The next morning Elena comes home with two large bruises on her upper arms, one on the left, one on the right arm. I don't remember when I first saw them, but I was too tired to more than just ask about them. Elena explains that she was playing a punching game. I talked with Teri later and told her I was disappointed in Elena playing that game. Teri asks, "When you were young didn't you play stupid games?" I had to nod my head in agreement, because it was true. So I let it go and didn't talk to her about the game. It is better than the other game the play called sweet and sour. They drive around and wave at people, if you wave back you are sweet, if not your sour. I think that is a game that will get them into trouble. Some guy get the wrong idea. 
       So Elena's first sleepover that didn't happen left a few bruises only. All in all a night few will remember and all for the  wrong reasons.














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Here at the western world

Here at the western world, I finally found a song to use in my blog. It's been a looong while since I did that. It's not perfect, the song has nothing to do with what I'm talking about.
       So here in the western world is a song about drugs and prostitution. That's kind of funny since I was going to talk about family life and how the girls don't seem to eat with us too much any more because of their jobs. I'll let you make the connections, well maybe not, it's just too juicy to leave it hanging there without my commenting on the connection. Soooo, everyone's drug is money to buy themselves nice things, so we all go and prostitute ourselves to acquire things we don't need. I guess I am just as bad as everyone else. We have cable, sirius satellite radio and cell phones that when I was a kid weren't considered indispensable. Cell phones, well how do we get in touch with our kids if there is an emergency? I'm hooked, I can't give up the ability to talk or text with my kids or wife anytime they are willing to pick up their phones and answer. Cable and Sirius satellite radio have become so weaved into my life that it would take major surgery to remove them completely. Cable is making it easier every time they sneak a new charge onto my bill. But half a page ago I wanted to write something about the girls and not eating together
       One of the great pleasures in life is eating dinner together with our family all together. I didn't realize that until it stopped and then happened again for a day. From the time they came over from Russia we made the effort to eat dinner together. We'd wait for one or the other of us to get home if they were running late. We made the effort. Then recently, the last few years, the girls got jobs. They work anywhere from ten to more than twenty hours a week and it is usually from four in the afternoon to about nine or ten, dinner time. Yes, I know on Father knows best' dinner time was about six. That gave, I think his name was Jim time to leave work and get home and relax in his favorite chair with his martini or whatever drink he was drinking. And I truly believe life at one time might of resembled that.
      Life now, oh life now is a fading shadow on a wall of sunshine (I have no idea what it means it just sounds good, maybe I should have said, 'that life is a fading shadow...' anyway...) Dreams of sitting down at the table with our family, say it in a wistful voice invoking memories of lush green meadows and fields of grass blowing a cool breeze ahead of a coming summer thunderstorm.
     Ok, let's get serious. We don't see the girls often any more. They come home from school and leave for work around 3-3:30 in the afternoon and don't return until 9-10 pm. We used to have dinner together all the time. Then when it stopped Teri and I began eating dinner in the kitchen looking at the smallest TV we own for some god knows reason, but we were together having dinner. Occasionally one of the girls would join us, truth be told we'd have to force them a little, because they'd want to do the dumb thing like watch the biggest TV or eat at the dining room table.
       What all of this has lead up to is this week both girls have off Monday,Tuesday and Wednesday. On Monday night Nastia had her last show she had to go to. And since her boyfriend is being a bit of of dick lately (no I won't make a joke there) I was the stand in. We left a little after I got home, had dinner at Boston Market, make that bought it there and ate it in the parking lot at RCC. The show was original compositions by the song writing class. It was pretty good. There was this one girl who had an Amy Winehouse thing going on and she has a future it looks like. ( To all you future people who don't know Amy Winehouse, that's a shame. She was a talented singer who drank or did drugs, I forgot and died young. Died too young just like Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison. If you don't know most of them shame on you.)
       So the first night is shot. Tomorrow, Wednesday Nastia, Elena and I are going to see Avengers Endgame. We have waited almost two weeks to see it on a day the three of us are free. So that day is done. It leaves us only tonight,wish us luck. Modern life you just gotta love it a Jim? ( I'm referencing Father know best, saying something his wife should have said)















/

The Improv

For college, Nastia is required to go to several different after school plays and amature productions put on by the college. Tonight it was improv. And since no one else was available, I went. The events Nastia is forced to go to are amateurish, but the students do put their heart and soul into their performances. Last night is a perfect example. There were times some of the dialogue bombed, but they were out there trying. Several times during the night I wished I had the courage to go out there and do what they were doing.
     The night consisted of several games the students played. The games give structure to their comedy and help them to see what is funny. I could list some of the games they played, but without a long winded explanation it wouldn't mean anything. So I'll do one or two. Time jump is the first one that comes to mind. There are several people involved. One person starts a scene. When a second person jumps in it a different scene. Same with a three and forth. As people jump in and out they have to remember where the scenes where and try to be funny.
      Another one  had the audience write down movie quotes and they would pick two out and as they went through a scene they would open the paper and use the quote in the scene.
      The show was in a very small intimate around fifty seat theater not much bigger than a living room. The air conditioning wasn't on and the night to begin with was warm. I bought a jacket and forced Nastia to bring one too. Weren't needed. After two mostly enjoyable and interesting hours it ended. After going to Shoprite to pick up soda before the sale ends we got home a little after ten. It was fun. Teri and Elena went to dinner after therapy. They had TGI Fridays. Elena loves their food.

The Glasses Monopoly

There is one company from Italy that owns or controls 80% of the frames we use for our glasses, that's a fact.
      Over the past two weeks I have been taking the girls to the eye doctor. We used to go to New Jersey to a place that had a person who spoke Russian. They were very nice. did a fine job, but then the girls got jobs and the place is about forty minutes away down the Palisades Parkway. It just became impossible to get there when needed.
     Well now that the girls are driving, you'd think it would be easier. No, someone who knows what's going on needs to be there to guide them still. A prefect example; I bring Elena into the eye doctor's office on Route 303 across from the Palisades Center, We walk in, a person says, "Hello, how may I help you?" I look at Elena, she looks at me and I say, "tell him" She again looks at me after a few moments of silence. She has no idea why she is here or can't put it into words. I tell him why we are here. He then asks for a name. I look at Elena, she looks at me and I say to her, "tell him" She says, "Muller" Me being the wise ass all the time says, "see that wasn't so hard, you got it right." She smirks at me.
       This adventure started on a Monday with Nastia. She wanted to drive to the eye doctor and I wanted to arrive there alive, so I drove. She's not a bad driver, she just needs more practice.
       We get to the eye doctor. It's the first time I've been there. It's a nice place and when I meet the eye doctor and talk with her, she is nice too. Before that happens we are asked to sit down and relax. It has been a long day for me, not as long as Teri's, but for me long. I'm tired and when I sit down in the chair I begin to feel it immediately. I relax in the chair and my eyes begin to close. Nastia is called to go in, I stay. A few moments later I am called to join her. The Questions the doctor is asking Nastia can't answer, I an still needed in her life. We talk, the doctor examines and after it is all said and done Nastia has a scratch on her cornea and should not wear her contacts for a few days. We make an appointment for the next Monday. I hand the clerk our insurance and they say they don't take it, but some how we get a discount and she only pays $39. Yes, Nastia did pay. It is our way that on certain things they have to pay. I call it, 'Welcome to the real world, it sucks, but you ask why you need to go to college, well this is the reason.' That's a bit of a long title, I'm going to have to work on it.
       Elena went the next day. It is amazing the difference in the two. Elena wants to always be perceived as tough and in control. And as we all know those are the ones who struggle inside with the world. Elena has the same exam and her eyes are good enough to drive at night with glasses where Nastia's were not. For this information Elena pays $139. Why the big difference? I don't know. I didn't want to rock the boat too much because if Nastia got a discount and Elena didn't, I didn't want to come off as ungrateful.
      A week later the same parade happened. Nastia gets a clean bill of health on her eye. Over the weekend her glasses broke. The warranty on them is over of course and they can't fix them. This is where the 80% control of the market comes in. Magicly they don't make that pair of glasses any more. Doesn't it always seem that way. You like a pair of glasses and the frames are not made anymore even though the glasses are just a year old. Or You want new frames and they can't match the glass to any frames. Why you ask, well now you have to buy new everything. Not completely the doctor's office fault.
       Nastia gets new glasses and contacts. Her hard contacts are relatively cheap, only a hundred and change dollars. Her glasses are over two hundred and the grand total of glasses and contacts is almost five hundred dollars. $483. to be exact. She pays again, 'welcome to the real world, I know it sucks, but it is the only one we got.' Title is still too long.
       Elena goes the next day, she has a new pair of contacts in. The doctor checks her sight and with the clean contacts in her sight has changed so little she does not need  to buy contacts or glasses. There is no charge for that visit. Totaling up everything Nastia spends on everything $522. Elena spends $139. add that to the car insurance each just paid and their bank accounts have just been raped. Nastia spends for both insurance and glasses and contacts $ 1622. Elena spends $1022. Oh and girls your cell phone bill is here today too. 'Welcome to the real world, my dears' THAT'S IT!! I can say that when they complain about how expensive everything is!!






















/

Nastia wants to go to Albany.

Nastia asked to go to Albany to visit David.
How do you tell a twenty year old that she can not go visit her boyfriend. She will be finishing up her first year of college in a week or so.
      I told a joke to someone at work the other day. It was the one where Teri is dressing. I'm in the room with her and the door is closed. Teri tells Nastia not to come in and I say, "because We are having sex." A few moments later I go down stairs and I walk past Nastia and she says, "I thought you'd last longer than that." It got a big laugh to who I told it too, but the younger girl in the office, maybe around Nastia's age didn't laugh. It made me think a little more about Nastia going to Albany.
     Also this morning, Nastia's stomach bothered her and she went upstairs and threw up. Teri asked her if she was pregnant. I guess it's on our minds. We both fully expect our girls to have healthy and happy sex lives.... have I shared too much and grossed you out?
      Well as of now she is going to go to Albany on May 20th. I don't know if they are going to sleep in the same room and the same bed. If I were twenty odd years old and planning this trip, I would, but don't tell them I said that. I don't want them to have a healthy and happy sex life just yet....Am I sharing too much again? I should tell her to pack condoms just in case. I'll tell her just because she has them doesn't mean she needs to use them. but you know....
      She will be picked up by David on Monday May 20. At what time you might wonder. Well it will be David time. Translated, it will be when he gets down here. Then they will drive back to Albany. She will stay with him until Friday morning when he will drive her back home. God keep them safe.
       David will be working I think one or two of the days they will be together. I don't know what Nastia will do during that time.
       Hopefully She'll be back home on Friday morning none the worse for wear. She will be spending A LOT of time with him and it will test their relationship. How will they handle it? I have talked to her about how a relationship changes when you are around someone all the time. All those little quirks you thought were funny suddenly become the most annoying thing in the world. How they handle things will determine their future. Hopefully there will be give on both sides.

The Bowling Dinner and the punching bag pick up.

      Life moves at a fast pace these days. I guess I might have said that anytime in the last ten years and felt as I do now.
     We had the bowling dinner last night. We also picked up a punching bag for Elena and Nastia wants to go to Albany to visit David.
     The easy one first. The Bowling dinner. I was looking forward to it this year. I was going with both of my daughters and Gino and I had ended up in first place. At the beginning of the season Nastia was on our team. After about five weeks Elena agreed to join the league. Nastia joined her sister and they became 'The Crazy Russians'. They started from October at 0-20 and ended the season two games over .500 at 78-82. If they had started the season at 0-0, they would have ended up in forth place in the league, with a chance to get third winning almost 56% of their games. It was a great season for them. Unfortunately I don't think Elena will come back.
      At the Bowling Dinner, Gino, Elena and myself sat together. Nastia went to sit at another table. At the end of the night she came home with a date for another bowling dinner on the fifteenth. Teri and I ended that awful quick. I sort of know Paul,the guy who asked her to go with him, but it would not be proper for her to go with him to a bowling dinner. He's my age.
   
Before we went to the bowling dinner, Elena, Nastia and I picked up a heavy bag punching bag. I saw it on line several days ago and when we went to Elena's last school review Elena's advisor, Ms. Chamberlain talked about how she came in all pumped up one day saying something about exercise and a punching bag. This punching bag was listed on a local swap and sell sight for $100.00. I looked around, priced other bags and found out it was a good deal. The stand it came with new was almost $200. So I bought it.
       We went up in Nastia's car to Pomona. Stupid me follows Google Maps and I let Nastia drive. Google Maps has us going on the Palisades Parkway at 5 PM. Nastia is still not skilled enough to drive the Palisades at rush hour, so I have her go the back roads to Pomona. The guy I bought it from must be a bit of a dick. When I asked him his best on it, it's tradition when negotiating, his reply was, 'really, $100.' I interpreted that to mean, 'how could you ask for a better price than that?' I let it sit overnight until we had our meeting at the school and I knew I had to get it for Elena. Without looking I texted him back saying I'll take the punching bag for $100. After sending it I notice he's marked it sold. I thought I'd missed it. He replies back later in the day I'd could have it.
      I texted the guy who had the Punching bag. He was not at home, but he had a friend who would be there. The Guy who was waiting for us had some things to do so he told us to leave the money under the front door mat and he left the punching bag out front.We got up to Pomona turned right onto Rt 45 and a mile or so later turned into a large condo complex. We found his place with little problem and outside was the punching bag. We loaded it slowly hoping the guy would show up. I texted him and he replied he was in Stony Point and just leave the money under the mat.
I take a picture of the money under the mat and send it to him and we go. The trip home was quick and easy, I didn't follow Google Maps.
      Every year the bowling dinner is at La Terrazza in New City. I don't go to the restaurant regularly. The food is usually very good and at every bowling dinner I look forward to it. Tonight I was planning on having a couple of drinks, screwdrivers, then having a few horderves, some salad, than some pasta and the main dish and finally dessert. It was expected to be a great night to eat. Plus Gino and I ended up in first place.

Elena eating bread with Olive oil, 

       The three of us walk in and Gino is there and we find a seat. Nastia decides she wants to sit at another table. I order a screwdriver from the waitress and she says she'll have to bring me a bill. I ask how much is the drink. When she says ten dollars, I say no thank you and I drink some of the free wine and free soda. The food starts to come out. There is some bruschetta, some mozzarella and tomato, fried calamari, pasta in a vodka sauce and then a salad. Finally after all that the main dish is served. I ordered chicken francese, Elena asked me to order, so I ordered her chicken parm. Nastia had salmon.
   
My review of the food and the night was mostly disappointment. I was looking forward to an open bar. I don't drink much, but I couldn't pay ten dollars for a screwdriver. It was way way way over priced. I'm not a bruschetta fan, but I had one and it was good. I also had the mozzarella and tomato, it was OK. The fried calamari was awful. It was over cooked and tough. The coating falling off it. The dressing on the salad was good as was the pasta in a vodka sauce. The main dish, my chicken francese was tasteless. The highpoint of the evening was getting the trophy. And even that was not as fun as I thought it would be. For some reason a night with my daughters that should have been really really great turned out to be a disappointment.   
















/

The Eye Doctor

       With Teri working so hard at her job it has fallen to me to pick up the slack and get the girls to their appointments. I do a poor job sometimes. I have make a mess of Elena's FIFSA application. I have gotten locked out once, done the application twice, had it erased because I can't get Elena's virtual signature to work. When I try to go back on the site, again I am in danger of getting locked out. Sooo much fun.
     I am better at the things I am familiar with, like taking the girls to their eye doctor appointments. I took Nastia over on Monday. She has been having trouble with one of her contacts, so she did not wear it over. We walk in, fill out paperwork and wait for the doctor. I'd stayed up late the night before watching 'The Game of Thrones' season eight, episode three, 'Battle of Winterfell' , it was very dark. So I was tired and as I sat in the chair, I felt I could fall asleep, if I let myself. The Doctor calls Nastia and she gets up, I stay. I figure she is old enough to go on her own and one of these days she'll have to. A few moments later I am about asleep when I hear I am being called. Nastia wants me in the examining room to help answer questions and I guess I'll think of some to ask.
       In the exam room I do learn Nastia's eyes are about the same as last time and she might have a scratch in the eye that is bothering her. And also that Lasik surgery will not help her, but if she had cataracts their could slip a new lense in her eye to improve her vision. I wonder why wait? I didn't think to ask. Nastia gets some drops in her eyes to open her pupils. It gives her a weird drugged out look.

      Nastia is asked to come back and we are scheduled to come back on Monday. Her bill is an adjusted $39.00.
      Elena is scheduled to go on Tuesday. We get there, she fills out some paperwork and after a few minutes we both go into the exam room. It turns out Elena's eyes are in better shape than Nastia's. With contacts on both girls would pass New York State's eye exam for an unrestricted license. With glasses on only Elena would pass. Natia can only drive with her glasses on during the day. Elena can drive with them anytime.
      For some reason, Elena's bill for the visit is $139.00. I didn't want to make a big deal about it, though I did asked about it, because they said the day before Nastia's was a reduced rate and I didn't want to seem like an ungrateful jerk. Elena's exam was for contacts and glasses. The Insurance card I showed for them both was not taken there. I left on the second day a little angry. We might have to find a new eye doctor even though this one seems nice. We need someone who takes our insurance. For what it's worth.

Cabaret at RCC

Several Days ago Nastia asked me to go with her to see Cabaret at RCC for one of her classes. It started at 8PM and I didn't like her to be alone at night there, so I agreed. On the Day of the play, a Saturday, I am told Teri and her sister will be joining us. The Plan is to get dinner around 6 PM at the Airmont Diner, then go see the play. 
      Everything goes smooth and we get to the play a little early, before the doors open. Ticket prices for guests are $15.00 for adults, $12.00 for students and seniors. For the first time ever I am glad I'm over 60 and gladly accept Teri's and my senior discount.
      Nastia, because of her eyes needs to sit down close to the stage. The Theater is not crowded at this early time so we get third row off to the left a little. We could have gone first row center, if we'd wanted to. The theater does get fuller later before the curtain goes up.
      When the curtain goes up, the play does not resemble the movie in the least, as far as I remember it. The Play is not as light hearted as I remember the movie. It is more poignant, the characters, like Mr Schmidt and Miss Schneider are not in the movie to my memory. The Emcee, played by Joel Gray in the movie and well played by a student in the RCC play seemed to be in most every scene. His over the top performance was very good.
      Nastia need to write an opinion paper for her Voice And Speech class, She worked on it Sunday. After a little editing from me, Teri went through it and corrected my corrections and below is the result. Both of us tried to keep Nastia's voice in the paper.

 Anastasia Muller Muller 1

Voice And Speech

4/28/19

Ms. Schaudel

My opinion about Cabaret

The night of the play my family and I went to get dinner before going to the school. After dinner we go to the school a little early so we had to wait till the show started. I was not that excited because I did not think that the play was going to be fun to watch. Little did I know that it was going to be an amazing performance. As we got in the theater it was crowded. We made our way to the lower seats so I can see the play. The play was called Cabaret and it was about a time after World War One and  before Hitler got to power. As the play started this guy with face paint came out and started singing and I thought he was really funny. Throughout the whole play he made almost everyone laugh. As the play went on I liked a lot of the characters in the play, like Sally Bowles and Clifford Bradshaw. I think they were a cute couple. I also really liked the girls who played sexy women in the Kit Kat Club they were really good at dancing and had awesome clothes. In the beginning I liked the guy who became friends with Cliff on the train until I saw he was a nazi. The actor who played him was really good.

I really enjoyed watching the scene with the pineapple that was really funny. The Emcee really got me laughing with what he was doing with it.  I also really loved when the Emcee was dancing with the Gorilla it was really funny. I think that people should not be judged for who they are or how they look like because in the end they are still human. I really was sad when Sally got rid of the baby because I thought that she and Cliff would be such a cute family. I do understand why she did it though, she wanted her baby to grow up in a nice peaceful world and if she had the child at that time the baby would not grow up happy at all. I really liked the part where Cliff met up with Bobby at the nightclub, I thought it was funny and kind of sweet.  

       My favorite part of the play was when Sally was singing the song ‘Don't Tell my Mother’. I thought that was a very good song I really liked it. I also thought that the girls who were dancing in the back were really good as well. I thought everything was perfect the lights were on point and the actors were really good. I could tell that they worked really hard at it and at the end all their hard work paid off. I had two friends in the show that killed it. I'm proud of them. I also thought that everyone who sang were fantastic and they could work on Broadway.       

      The part that was really sad was that at the end of the play. The Emcee was wearing clothes the Nazis forced  Jews to wear in the concentration camps. I really did not like that because it makes me really mad that someone can do something horrible like that to people who are different from them. I really liked how we got a ten minute break to stand up and stretch our legs, use the restroom and  just get a little snack. In the end, my family and I really enjoyed the play. I'm really happy that I got to spend time with my family by taking them to see it. I almost forgot the band. I thought they were great and got the music right on point. They also had really good beat to the music which I really liked because I like music when it has a really awesome beat to it. After the play all of the crew got on stage and bowed and everyone in the crowd were going crazy because the crew blew it away with their performance.  My Dad said that the show was way better than the movie. I never saw the movie but I believe it.

Helen Hayes Hospital's interesting programs

      I took yesterday Thursday, April 25th off to take Elena to Helen Hayes Hospital. The last time I was at Helen Hayes was in the 1980's after my Aunt Emilie had her stroke. I thought Helen Hayes was just a rehabilitation hospital for stroke victims and such. It turns out it is so much more.
      I really didn't even know why the two of Us were going there. Somehow I got the story that she was going to take tests to find her interests, it was not. The Appointment had been set up by her Access VR counselor Ms. Titer in a meeting I didn't go to. I think neither Teri or I were there.
      The Meeting was set for 9 AM, scheduled to run for about two hours.It gave me a good reason to take a day off. I get Elena up around 8 AM and we're out of the house by 8:30.  We take a quiet ride up 9W talking a little about where We are and other time, like her road test when We were in the area. I mention a gas station where the gas is cheap, so it was an unimportant conversation, but nice. We don't talk too much any more, I miss it.
      We roll into Helen Hayes Hospital up the big sloping driveway and find a parking spot. It is a beautiful campus. Everything is well cared for. Inside the buildings are equally beautiful. We check in at the desk and proceed down a hallway to an elevator and go down a floor to Prosthetics and Rehabilitation. Elena's had some experiences in hospitals lately, that I have not written about, that she is not pleased to be in this one. We check in and it turns out our appointment is for 9:30, so we are early by 35 minutes.
      After a while out Doctor comes out. His name is Marco Riccotoni, He is a very nice guy. He stylish hair cut makes me wish I was younger and had hair to I could get one. It's long on the top and buzz cut on the sides, with a beard. I don't like beards but it look good. It's a version of the hair cuts worn in the late 1920's and 30's. 
       The Doctor is testing Elena for issues with her studies and improving her abilities to do papers. He asks about her laptop and other electronic devices to get an idea if she needs to upgrade them. He tests her vision, asking her to look at his nose and when can she see a pen move around her face. When does the same pen go double moving toward her face and become a single moving away. He tracks her eye movement across a page saying there is delayed eye movement, which can be corrected or at least compensated for. He shows her several web sites for free that give her access to books online. The Text can be enlarged and it can used as an audiobook and read to her. A second Web site has text books on it.
      The Doctor also had her do timed writing. He said it was good enough writing for note taking, but it was not good enough for papers handed in. She was then tested on her typing skills. I guess in this day and age when everyone types, I should not have been surprised at her fluid movement on the keyboard and her ability to type twenty-nine words a minute. It's not a professional speed, but she is aiming for higher. 
      The hour and a half was interesting and if Elena uses the information can help her do better in her time at College.

More Life...

I was flipping through previous posts, it's one of the reasons I like doing this. In previous Posts I get a snapshot of life and get to read about what is happening on a day or two in the life of the four of us, it's nice.
      Well in a post from October 4, 201- I read about how life for the four, five if you count Amanda is going. Life now is a little different. Now I get up as soon as Teri's alarm goes off. I go in and get the girls up. I started that to get the girls out of bed a little earlier. Well now they get woken up earlier, but instead of getting up earlier, they lie in bed awake or almost awake until they decide to get out of bed at around the same time they would have if I had woken them up a little later.
      Toaster Waffles are out of fashion now. The in breakfast is Belvita breakfast sandwiches. Nastia eats chocolate ones. Elena today had pancake bread. It's a bread that tastes like pancakes. When that is gone she will switch back to you guessed it, toaster waffles.
       Both of the Girls leave sometime before seven AM. Elena doesn't pick Arianna up any longer. They had a fight when Arianna told someone they should kill themself. They talk in school, I'm told, but don't seem as close as before. Elena's big friend is Jasmine. I have met her and she seems nice, it's just that there is something about her I don't like. Elena started having problems in school around the time they became friends. Maybe no connection, I don't know.
      One Day I told Elena she should ask Jasmine if she would like to go to the movies with her and Elena said Jasmine doesn't like movies. My first reaction to that was who doesn't like movies? The  second is who doesn't like movies? I have a friend who dated a girl in the 80's  who didn't like the Beatles. Back then everybody liked them. This Girl said it to stand alone and as a way to get attention, I felt. I think Jasmine is the same or maybe she doesn't like crowds or paying $14.00 for a ticket. I don't know, it just makes her seem weird.
      Nastia just about 7AM leaves for school. She goes to pick up her friend Vanessa. Vanessa is a nice girl and has invited Nastia to several of her church related functions. I was suspicious when it started because I thought they were trying to recruit her like the Jehovah witnesses. I find it distasteful when people come around trying to get you to join their religion. It shows disrespect for their religion. Anyway, Vanessa invited her to an activity night at the church, then a weekend at a camp upstate about two hours away. She went this past weekend and they didn't make her drink the Kool Aid (Look it up under Jim Jones, a very low point of the 70's for America) she had fun, she got hit in the glasses playing dodgeball. Maybe someone should point out to her the name of the game is dodgeball. Maybe She will then get out of the way of the balls. She came home Sunday afternoon well in time to watch the final few episodes of the seventh season of 'Game Of Thrones' before the long wait of almost two years ended and season eight started.
     Nastia became a big fan of the show in season five or six. Before She did I was able to sit down stairs alone and watch the show without any questions or comments or interruptions from anyone. Teri doesn't like the show and would go up stairs. I'd be all alone and I could watch the show without a pause. Ah, the good old days.
      Elena is heading into the last couple of months of high school, hopefully. She started the year in fine style getting grades in the 80's pretty much all around. Then sometime mid-school year something happened and her grades went south and her attitude returned. Things are better, but it will be a race to see if she can bring her English average back above the Mendoza line. (The Mendoza line is a baseball expression. I won't bore you with the history of it. If Your interested look it up) The Mendoza line in baseball is 200. In High School, I'm told it is 65, not 70. Elena let her average slide into the fifties. She has since bought it back up to about 61. She is within striking distance of passing.
     There are vague plans for a party this summer when (if) she graduates. I have started cleaning up the yard. I've gotten very slow these days doing yard work. It has taken me three weekend to get the leaves that fell in December from our neighbors tree into our yard and then it rained and snowed before I could finish cleaning them up, up. Let me translate that last mishmosh. The Leaves fell in December. I started raking the lawn again. About halfway through, it rained. Before it dried, it snowed, got cold and rained some more. It didn't stop before I said, "Oh I'll just get them next Spring" It gave me months before I had to pay the piper. Well, he's here now.
      When asked how things are these days, I usually reply, "Well, they could be worse, so they're not bad" and I sincerely believe that. Life is tough here on the Ponderosa (look it up), but it could be worse. The Indians or Rustlers could come and steal our cows. But until then life is good. I love my daughters to death and if I die poor because of going to Russia and raising them up to Adults and on until they retire, I will die a rich man. I know it's a bit of a cliche (Cliche: phrase or opinion, that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought) but it still will be true.











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I keep forgetting the Girls are women now.

     I keep forgetting my daughters are not little kids any more. I have always tried to have an open relation with them when it comes to sex. I have told Nastia on more then one occasion that I fully expect her to have a full and satisfying sex life, but not today. I have a habit of being a little inappropriate with the girls too and sometimes I get surprised by them.

     The other day Teri is changing her clothes, Nastia is on the phone talking with David and I'm in the bedroom with Teri. I think Nastia wanted to come into the bedroom and Teri said ,"no". Without thinking I said we were having sex. Teri gets mad because Nastia was talking to David and David heard me say that. A little while later I got down stairs and I'm walking through the Dining Room past Nastia and she says, " Done already, I thought You'd last longer then that." I stop with my mouth open expecting words to come out of it and nothing does. I'm a little surprised and I guess they are not little kids any more.

     The second Story is just one showing they are still kids, but it still surprises me to hear it come out of their mouths. Ever since We've known them we have known they curse like truck drivers. Lately they curse more in front of us then they have before. So the other day when Nastia tells her sister she sucks and Elena responds, " Well You swallow." I guess I should not have been so surprised. Nastia will be twenty-one in December and Elena will be nineteen in August. They're not little kids any more, they are full grown women and their relationships are not little kid things either any more, I guess. 

Mommy, I don't feel good. and a little of 'what's happenin' (no not that TV show)

I've got a cold. I'm hacking and coughing like there's no tomorrow. It got me to thinking about when the girls were younger and first got sick. I might have already blogged about this so I'll try to stick to the facts and make nothing up. And if I do you won't know.
     It was maybe year one or maybe year two a heavy cough was coming from the girls bedroom. It was night, the girls had been in bed for a while, no one had said they felt bad or looked sick. The Coughing kept on for a while until Teri decides to go in. I think cough medicine and cold medicine follow.
       What they had was something that got into the lungs and every time they moved to another position, like from your right side to your back, sit up, whatever, the congestion needed time to move to that side, so you'd cough until it had moved. Like having a stuffy nose, the left nostril is open, you change sides and suddenly both are clogged, then after a while the other reopens.
      Nastia, I think spent a day or two home. She would just cough and cough. After about a week Nastia was better then Elena got it. After a week it seemed to be about gone with her, when suddenly it seemed to come back. Now this congestion is sneaky, if you are standing or at least up right all day long, then you might not cough at all. Lay down and suddenly your coughing your fool head off. Elena's cough went into a second week. Teri went to lay down with her a couple of times during the two weeks and sometime in the middle of the second week Teri and I began to wonder if Elena was coughing at night to get attention, something she might have not gotten in Russia. The thought, broke Teri's heart. By the end  of the second week it was over and life went back to normal, whatever that was at the time.
      Those early years were a magical time I enjoy looking back on. Life was so much different back then.
     Back from the past. This Week Nastia has off from school. David promised to come down from Albany to spend some time with her. So on Sunday, Nastia and I went to the Mall to buy some tickets for the movie, 'Captain Marvel' so her and David could see it on Monday night.
     On Monday, I'm up stairs and I don't remember what I said, it was something like have you talked to David, shouldn't the two of you be going out for dinner about now? Something I said got her on the phone to call him. The Conversation starts out quietly. A little into it Nastia starts to get a little loud. Saying something like, Your not here yet? A few curse words follow. It looks like David is going to stand up Nastia, so I call Teri asking her if she would like to go to the movies tonight because it looks like David is standing her up. Teri and I decide if she is stood up by David, she'll return the tickets and the three of us will do something special.  Nastia continues to talk and yell and curse a little at David. For some reason I'm not surprised or angry, I'm just a little sad about it. Nastia hangs up the phone and there is a knock on the door. David had played her. He was sitting outside when he made the call. Nastia yells up to me David is here. I come down after a few minutes, they are still talking about his joke and she is saying she hates when he plays jokes like this or something like that. I joke that I was talking to Teri to find out if she knew anybody who could make someone disappear. Everyone laughs. For Nastia, life is good, David is here and not calling from Albany. They leave for the movies. The House is quiet, Elena has texted she wants to spend some time with Jasmine after work tonight. It's just Teri and I for dinner. When She gets home we have dinner almost like we used to do before the girls came from Russia. In this Version we eat dinner watching the small TV in the kitchen, instead of watching the big TV in the living room. I sit at the table, Teri stands near the sink. It's fun for what reason I don't know, but I like doing it. We clean up and then end up in the living room. I stay there until both girls have gotten home. I wonder who taught me that. The Girls get home early, always before eleven, so I don't have to wait up too late, and I don't smoke so no cigar ash will fall from my cigar onto my sleeping chest. If You don't know I'm referencing my father. He would always be in his chair every night when we got home. Another thing I try to do for my girls is when they get home have some dinner ready for them like my mom used to do. So yes Mom and Dad occasionally I was paying attention.

Daddy, when will We be able to go out on our own?

I was asked many times by the girls when they were younger, when will we be able to go out on our own? My Answer, Daughters, if you are reading this now and have kids of your own and are looking for answers was, I had no idea. Your Mom and I did it when it felt right to do and sometimes we had to hope for the best. And usually it turned out well, which made it easier to trust giving you more freedom. Trust built more trust
      OK, I'm back from the future now and onto today's story. Over the Weekend, Teri and I went to her cousin Kimmy's fiftieth birthday surprise party. It was held at the West Nyack Fire Department. It's been a few years since I've been there. The Girl's wanted to go out with their friend's. Both worked until early evening and it would have been the perfect night for the four of us to spend some time together. Sometimes plans just don't work out. Nastia wanted to go to the movies and invited Scharin. Elena was going to the Mall to hang out with some friends. Teri and I don't really like her hanging out at the Mall, but she doesn't get into trouble. Both have jobs and cars, both have paid for the privilege. NONE OF THEIR FRIENDS HAVE JOBS OR CARS. According to them none of their parents want to let them to get jobs for various reasons. NO ONE HAS HANDED OUR GIRLS ANYTHING. They were given crappy cars and each put about $2,000.00 into them before they were drivable. They pay their own gas and they pay their share of the insurance.
     Now back to our Story. Nastia invited Sharin to the movies. I'm hoping, I haven't checked, but NAstia bought the ticket for her, I'm hoping Sharin paid her back. Nastia also goes straight from work to her house with HER CAR to pick up the carless, jobless Sharin. Sharin, I'm told doesn't have a job because of all her after school activities. Hey, cool, get some money from your mother, get a ride to the mall from your mother, something from your mother so my daughter isn't the sugar for the night.
     Elena's story is even more fun. She works in Pearl River. Jasmine, her new 'friend' was dropped off at the store, she lives in the New City Condominiums. One point for her parents. Elena want to get her hat and has to pick up one of her friends, who lives in the New City Condominiums. They get to the Mall and Jessica calls, texts, whatever asking when will she be picked up? Soooooo, she goes back to Congers to pick up her friend from just up the street from us on Rt 9W. Now You ask why couldn't Jessica's mother drop her off? Well, let's just say she lives in a very dysfunctional family. So to recap, Elena went from Pearl River to Congers,to New City to West Nyack, back to Congers, and yes back to the Mall. We get a text a little after nine that they are just sitting down to eat at Red Robins. Teri and I thought it a little weird. We get occasional texts from Elena giving small updates on her night, like we're just finishing up and I'll be late getting home, I have to drop friends off. She was due in at about 10-10:30. She strolles in a little after 11. She is very good about getting home on time, doesn't argue a lot when we tell her no, she can't go out, so We cut her alot of slack and she also let us know she was going to be late.   
      So Girls this is what it looks like to be able to go out on your own on a Saturday night when your parents are no home either. One Day you'll be able to stay out real late, You know when you have your own place.

February Taco Night

It was Karl's idea to revive February Taco night. I liked the idea of doing it, so I did a mass text message to everyone whose phone number I had. It was about ten or so people. I got Nancy's reply, both the girls, Nastia and Elena's reply and Amanda saying she couldn't make it. That was it. Two weeks pass and no one else has replied. At this point I'm thinking it is not going to happen and I am on the verge of texting everyone to say it is not going to happen. On the Thursday before Saturday Taco night Karl texts he is going out to the grocery and he is picking up stuff for Tacos. I reply I still have no idea who, if anyone is coming, expecting someone to say they are coming. I get silence again. A little later I text I am bring three pounds of chop meat spiced, hoping it is enough.
     Nastia and Elena were looking forward to going to Taco night until they realized that Jessica, their friend had scheduled her birthday get together for the same day. I let them go without hesitation. I had decided to schedule taco night for this day and I wasn't going to change it for any reason. And it was starting to look like no one was going to be there. As of Karl's text on Saturday morning, I knew Karl was coming because he was going to the store to get stuff for tacos.
    Saturday Teri, Nancy and I get to my mom's about 5. The House has a good crowd in it and I am wondering if three pound, no I know three pounds of meat will not cover this crowd. Thank God someone else bought a few pounds of plain meat.
     In addition to Nancy, Teri and I, Karl and Madeline, Kristen and the two Matts were there. Eric, Lynn, with occasionally Billy and Denis, both don't eat tacos. They must be adopted. Hey wait, my girls both love tacos. I guess Billy and Denis are just picky eaters. My Mom and Harriet round out the group and it was a pleasant night. The Food was good, the shells were a little sparse, as in we didn't plan for enough of certain types of shells. I guess I should go into that a little more. Someone bought the hard shells that you buy in a box and just stick in the oven. They are good and tasty, but they alway crack down the seam every time I eat them. Karl made up some shells, corn by just heating them in a hot cast iron pan. It seemed a little sacrilegious, him and I both grew up on shells fried in a small pool of oil preferably in a cast iron pan. Those were the shells I liked best and started with. Usually I'd make up a half dozen to start with, tonight I started with two.. Shells and meat disappeared quickly. Cheese soon followed. More is bought out, I had some of the oven shells and yes both cracked down the middle dropping everything on to my plate. Cracked shells make good scoops and after about twenty minutes of eating everyone was finished. Tacos are not a slow eating food. Of the three pounds of spiced meat, there was enough left to fill a few taco shells, you know  almost enough to make a six ounce burger with, a little too close for comfort. Shells, there were a few left, I guess, I just didn't see them.
     It was a fun night. I have been writing about my life on another blog and I went around asking a few people for good memories of upstate. Karls said he had few good memories  growing up. I could understand, remembering how he and our Dad used to go at it when he'd come home at night. I tried to spark some memories from him by giving him some of mine. He had nothing. I asked Eric and he came up with a few, more from recent times. The Conversation went in another direction and I felt no one really wanted to reminisce about the past, much less the farm's past. If You ever read that other blog, you'll know why.
     It ended about 8:30, 9:00, everyone helped clean up and we all went our merry ways with promises of doing this again in a few months. I have already planned a May or June BBQ. If June it will be a Elena graduation party, hopefully, (english class young lady!) Let's see if We can communicate better this next time.

















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