The Girls and their boyfriends on Wednesdays

The Girls and their boyfriends, I guess is going to be a regular reoccuring topic. And it is most likely going to be talked about after a Wednesday, when they both don't work because the three of us go bowling at five PM. I left yesterday morning just after Elena had gotten up and left to go to Matt's house. This time she was a little more dressed up then she was the last time when she went in her Stitch onesie and she had to get it back from Matt's a few days later from what I heard. I was also told, or maybe I'm hoping, nothing went on that day except hickies. I was told by Elena that after hickies comes sex. On this morning she is wearing a nice sweat suit type of matching outfit of some sort (yes, I'm big on women's fashions). She leaves early around eight, I guess. Nastia is up too around eight and she is dressed in regular clothes or at least nothing that caught my attention like Elena's. That evening, I meet them at the bowling alleys. I'm there first, then Elena and lastly Nastia shows up.as soon as I get near Elena I can see the hickies, two or three on one side and two on the other. I don't say anything after all she is twenty and how much can you tease someone. Should I be reassured that she has hickies, because after them is sex she says? Later I will be told the reason she is very moody today and the past few days is she has her peroid, so sex is off the table (yeah, I know, but I'm not going to get that gross). Nastia gets to bowling a little late. I don't notice what she is wearing until a frame or two into the first game. She is wearing these spandex (are they still called that?) things that have these folds that run up the cheeks emphesising them and making it look like she has no underwear on. She thinks her butt is her best asset. I know this morning when she left to 'hang out' with Brandon she wasn't wearing them. She did come back to the house around four to vacuum, but it would have made no sense to change into them then, so she must have had them with her and changed at Brandon's or come back to the house. I don't comment on the pants. I was going to try to get a picture of Nastia's pants to put on the blog, but I felt like a perv when I tried to take a picture of them, so no pictures in this blog. Sometime during the night Nastia comes up to me and says, "Did you see the marks on her neck?" I go, "yeah", I don't know if she makes I comment about sex or if she says something about if it was her who had them. I reply to her comments by saying something like, "and the way you're dressed, I'd put money on it that you had sex and I think I'd win." She gets angry, tells me she didn't have sex and leaves. I wasn't mean about it, at least I hope it didn't come out that way I just figured both of my daughters were up to what I would have been doing when I was in my early twenties and I went over to my girlfriend's house in the middle of the day during the middle of the week with everyone at work, except for her and I. For the next few frames she stays away from me. When I go up to bowl I whisper into her ear, "I'm sorry" and hope it blows over. Eventually it does and I think that is when Nastia tells me to be careful because Elena is in a bad mood, she has her peroid. Last week after seeing Matt, Elena was on such a high, but not this week? No. I won't speculate. It just gets me into trouble with my daughter's I'm sure this column will infuriate them when they read it in the future. /

My Birthday and the after effects.

It was my birhtday back a couple of days ago and for some reason I have not handled it so well.I did fifty and sixty well. I told myself they are just numbers and I went on my merry way. But sixty-three has been a little more difficult to handle because every time I turn around and yes

even turnoing around these days with a bad knee is difficult, I see another sign post in the road declaring I'm old. Beyond the bad knee that forces me to sleep with it in a certain position, I have a neck problem. My neck I've had problems with for years. I keep all my tension in my shoulders and over the years I have compressed two disks in my neck. Last year I did something to my neck and hurt it so I can't sleep on my back any more. I start the night on my right side facing Teri, at least until my thigh starts to hurt, then I will turn over to the other side until tha begins to hurt. Oh and sometimes when I'm laying down I feel like I can't swallow and even though I really don't need to I have to swallow and I prop myself up on my eblow to swallow. But it's all good (I really hate that expression) the alternative is someone throwing dirt on your face. On my birthday I make an effort to not think about all of that crap and Covid too and I go out to dinner with the three most important people in my life. I really enjoy going out to dinner

with my family, just the three of us. I know it is coming to an end sooner rather then later, but I'll enjoy it while I can. We go to Bailey's on Erie Street in Blauvelt. When it opened I enjoyed it more then I do now. It's still good, but it's not fablous like it used to be, I don't know why. Last year We all went to Outback in the Mall, it's closed and Covid gone like a lot of other restaurants. Teri made a reservation for seven for Bailey's and of course in the last hour or so of work a bunch of faxes come in and I'm trying to finish them before I leave. I leave late. Traffic on the bridge is still Covid (has Covid just become a verb/ adverb instead of a noun). I manage to get home on time, We leave and get to Bailey's about on time for our reservation. The restaurant is not quite Covid full (didn't I just use Covid to describe 'full' and doesn't that make it an adverb. God, I wish I'd found english in school more interesting.) As we wait, with our masks on fully, I look at the restaurant. People are sitting next to one another without their masks on. I wonder if that is really a smart thing. It reminds me of the time I saw someone in the BP gas station near my house without a mask on and yelled at him. Lately I haven't seem anyone with out a mask. I guess they have all gotten smart or gotten Covid and died. Natural selection, I guess. The dumb dieing off. (I'm sorry, that was nasty. I won't take it back, but I am sorry) We sit down and I leave my mask on while everyone else takes their's off. We order drinks, well at least I try to. I ask for a Sam Adam's and I'm told they don't have any. I get up and half seriously say, "OK, let's go.." No one else follows and I sit down. I ask for a couple of samples of different beers that I might like. Teri says I shouldn't ask for more then the two I have asked for. So I look at the menu and pick the beer with the highest alcohol content, it's called Cerberous.It's nine dollars a glass and I get this small snifter of beer. It's a dark, stout looking beer. I take a sip and it is awful. It feels thick, heavy and almost has a chocolate type after taste to it, but it's not sweet, it's bitter. But I've bought it and I will drink it. I take a couple of gulps to get started, it doesn't help. About half way through the beer I notice I'm laughing and enjoying the conversation more and more and the beer still tastes awful, but I'm still drinking it(8% alcohol). We order the bone yard and three sides. Nastia orders potato skins and crab cakes, two appatisers, she still doesn't finish. "Cramps!" she says "cramps!" are preventing her from eating. Never having suffered from them, I make no comment. After dinner, I'm asked what I want to do now. I say "let's go home." I see three people with open mouths, surprised. They were thinking Dairy Queen, while I was thinking it's twenty-six degrees, windy and I want to go home. So we go home and break the tradation of going to Dairy Queen after a birthday dinner. Sunday, I go to donate blood. I've been doing this since I was eighteen. Except for a span in my late twenties I have regularly donated blood. The last few years I've gone to donate blood I've been turned down because of low iron in my blood.Before that I was turned down to donate plateletes, which is a little more involved thing where they draw the blood out in one tube and return it in another without the plateletes. When it returns to your arm it's cold and feels funny. Your arm tingles and sometimes your whole body feels weird. Back in November, Elena and I donated blood and everything went well. This time, she is not interested, she has work. I go on my own like I have for years and I get to St Ann's in

Nyack a little early. I was here yesterday thinking it's the the right day. When I walk in and they try to hand me a bag of groceries, I realize it's the wrong day. So on the right day I get in a Covid line and hear the person at the door say they are just getting set up and are running behind. I have an appointment, which I hate to make, put this time I made one and I am able to walk past someone who didn't. I'm relaxed and patient going through all of the hoops set up to protect the blood supply. I answer all the questions about have I paid for sex in the last six months,been stuck with a needle, been with someone who has HIV. All of those fun questions. I sit down and wait to get called to get my finger pricked. Everytime I think about this I remember the old George Carlyn joke and I'm sure I've said it before. you can prick your finger, but don't finger......* or something like that. I've been taking my iron pills so I pass the finger prick with a 14.1. Later I read that 13.9 to 17 is acceptable and I vow to raise my iron level to the mid range. I play musical chairs waiting for a bed to open to donate blood. When someone ahead of me goes everyone moves up a chair. I finally get called and go over to the donation area. I tell the tech, my right is better then my left. I get comfortable on the chase lounge bed and prepare to get stuck. Now over the years I've had some very bad sticks in the arm. This one ranks up near the top. She sticks me, then proceeds to back up the needle without taking it out and goes back in. She does this several times before she calls over another person. He proceeds to do the same thing and after a few attempts he says I'm done for the day and I've got pretty lousey vains. I took a picture of the place they stuck the needle last night and I didn't even see the mark they left. All I see is the old man skin all around the wound and I wonder when did that happen. I'm looking at my hands and suddenly I see all the wrinkles and the one joint on my left hand that is swollen and it all is starting to come together, I not getting old, I've been there for sometime now and the next stop is Willoughby in the Twilight Zone, (orginial series with Rod Sterling. It's a stretch for some of you younger folk, god now I'm writting like an old man, to know what I'm referencing) Let's just say if the after life is Willoughby, I'm on the next train. This bog has gotten a little to dark so I need to post a couple of George Carlyn jokes to end it. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they're cramming for their final exam. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Never argue with an idiot; they will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. I'm told Mark Twain said this one. I'm leaving it in, it's so good and true. * “You can prick your finger ... Just don't finger your prick.” ― George Carlin /

When I left the milk business, I never missed this

Yeah, it is one of those stories again.Memories intermingled with something that happened recently. I've been doing alot of remembering these day coming up to my 63rd birthday, but I'll ramble on about that some other day. I got another one of those phone calls last night. You know the ones. especially if you have read about my daughter's and their driving records. Nastia comes home yesterday, Sunday night about six, I guess, from work. She changes and proceeds to leave to go to her boyfriend's house to 'hang out'. I'm upstairs, in Elena's room, yes, working on it. I've finished sheet rocking the closet and more about that some other time. I look out the window and I see her start her car to pull out of the north driveway. I call her and ask her what is going on, where is she going. She tells me she is going to her boyfriend, Brandon's house. Teri and I don't want her driving at night for the time being. She reminds me he lives in Valley Cottage, so I say ok, be safe. About twenty minutes later, loong after she should have gotten to Branden's house I see her name on my phone. At first I think nothing of it. She is at Brandon's, what could be wrong? She forgot something? I get a breezy, friendly hello from her when she starts to fumble for words. I'm thinking, what could be wrong? "Well dad I went to McDonald's to get Brandon some food, I'm alright, I didn't get into an accident." I'm on the

causeway, near the blinking light and the car is driving weird, I think I have a flat tire." I know where she is and I get my coat on and check my pockets for my car keys. I'm out the door and the cold air hits my face. It's not cold like it used to be, but I'm not the guy I used to be either when I'd changed tires on milk trucks when they went flat, or it snowed. (for all of you future people before all weather tires you used to have snow tires and in the extreme I used to put chains on the rear tires, I think chains are outlawed now.) The plan is to drive the car home. I'll give Nastia my keys and she'll go first, I'll follow. I go left out of Harrison Avenue onto Conger's Road, through the light and down a dip to the crest of the hill. On the other side I see her car pretty much where I thought it would be. I pull into a street turn around and park the car. When I look at the tire I can see it has been driven for a while flat. I'mnot happy to begin with being there so I start to loose it a little with Nastia. I stop myself because it is not helping the sitution. I tell her to take my car and I'll take her's. That part of the road is no place to change a tire. And I thought I was close enough to home that I didn't have to try to change it on a side road. I call her phone and when traffic is clear I tell her to go. Once she is on her way I start moving. The tire thuds against the wheel well in a pathetic drum beat anouncing to the world some idoit is driving on a flat tire instead of changing it. I pick up the pace a little to make the light. I pause once to let a car pass near the former Conger's Elementry school. I pull the car into the new northern driveway that is already starting to show where I was a little thin with the rock and mud has begun to seep through. A project for another day. At first I am not going to deal with it tonight. I change my mind because tomorrow I'll be clean and not want to deal with it and it is going to snow Tuesday night and I want this fixed by then. I move the car over to the garage. I have everything I need somewhere near the garage and after fumbling around looking for things that haven't been used in a while I get the car jacke up, the tire off and the donut spare tire out and I'm about to put it on when I realize someone has used it and hit a curb or something with it and it is totally useless and I'm done for the night. The tire goes into the trunk of my car. The next day I take it to Alexander Brother's and jokingly tell them to patch it. Then the good news comes next, oh and it isn't the last good news.The first good news is the trie has to be ordered and it won't be ready until Tuesday. The second good news comes later in the day when I get a call telling me the rims is bent and yes it can be strightened, but it will take until Wednesday. Now I'd really wanted to avoid putting the tire on the Mazda until Wednesday. Firstly Nastia has no car for two days, secondly, it is going to snow Tuesday night, then get cold. With no choice I tell them yes. Wednesday afternoon I get the call the tire is ready. Total cost is $417.00. Nastia who can be as cheap as she is generous is a little outraged. " How come so much!!, for just a tire?!" "Why so much is taxes?!!" I missed a golden opportunity with the last statement to remind her that is the reason to vote. You vote for th epeople who decide how much you pay in taxes and what it is used for.Maybe she'll read this one day instead. Nastia and Brandon pick up the tire and Nastia texts me where do I want the tire? I was going to say on teh car, but I was afraid that wouldn't find that funny. Not knowing Brandon, I don't want to impose upon him to put Nastia's tire on her car. He might not be a get dirty, do physical work type of guy. I get home from bowling about 7:30 and I put the pizza, Elena wanted in the warming oven and go out to put the tire on the car. It takes maybe fifteen minutes and goes smoothly. At this point I had most of the required tools assemblied to do the job anyway. The next morning, (January 28, 2021, today ) I take it the car out for a quick test run hoping nothing is damaged from the drive home on Sunday. God smiles on me today and nothing as of now is wrong with the car. Nastia took it to work a little while ago, and wait, I have to stop typing, Nastia is calling me.........(Daaadddd.....) /

She's leaving home, bye, bye...*

Sing it to the beatles song 'she's leaving home'- Sgt. Pepper Last night at the dinner table Elena announced that she was moving in with her boyfriend...not now, but whe she gets a better job. I'm sittng and just listening to this, not saying a word. I am thinking, boy she'll get a huge dose of reality just like her cousin Billy who just went out and bought, with his girlfriend a house over near Albertus Magnus

High School on Parrott road. Nastia on the other hand is sitting across from Elena saying, "Are you hearing this?" to both Teri and I.Elena adds that she wants to go to Boces and try automotive this fall.Teri does her usual, "You have to figure out how much money you are going to need to live on your own, with Matt." Nastia chimes in again with, "Move to Spring Valley." I speak up and say a racist, "White People don't move to Spring Valley." I also add that she may not qualify for school aid if she is living on her own. Nastia then bring up Elena's friend Jessica and how she had wanted to move with her into an apartment. The conversation then goes a little sideways as we all discuss Jessica's situation and how Covid has made her life a little worse. Nastia, the fountain of maturity and insight in this conversation says, "Maybe I'll move in with my friend Jessie into an apartment." Teri goes into how you don't move into an apartment

with someone who has a child with issues and all the things that can go wrong there. Quitely I agree. Nastia a little put off says, "What, you want me to move in with Brandon?" No one addresses that statement. Right now they barely know each other and financially both could'nt do it even if they were interested in doing it. I'm sorry Nastia, on this night you showed just how much you still have to grow up. I don't say that to hurt you, but you are still into having a good time with little to no responsibility. You're first step to growing up should be to get a full time job or go back to school and get a dergree. For that matter even Elena's ideas are a little on the idealized side, but at least she has a plan. I know they both will eventually move out. I know it will happen. I don't want it to, but it will and I will fully support them in their effort to do that, financally if I can afford it. If and when they move out the house will be quiet like it is most nights now when they are out working or with

their boyfriends, I don't like it this quiet. Sometimes I think what life would be for us if we had never adopted them and when I hear the quiet of the house with Teri asleep over on the couch as we watch TV sort of together I am thankful that Teri by force of her will even after the death of her mother, almost single handedly bought those two bright lights into our life. They have shown so bright and made everything in the last ten, twelve years worth it

A Year later, how things have changed

I just read a post from January 24, 2020. I ramble on about how Nastia is going back to RCC and she won't graduate in the spring because she is short credits and how Elena has decided to drop out of college and take an intro class to automotive mechanics. How everything has changed. The only thing that went like I thought would was the refinancing of the house. We finished that up in the early days of Covid March pandemic; when we thought that it might end by the beginning of summer. It might be over by summer, but what years is the question. Since that post, the girls have both dropped out of RCC. Nastia doesn't hang around with Taj so much any more. She hangs around with a girl named Jessie, who has an eight year old autistic son. It's Jessie's thirtieth birthday this weekend. Nastia and her are going to spend the weekend doing things together. Nastia still works at Stop and Shop and still does'nt have a full time job. She has been pushed to look for full time employment, but resists. She was going to work at ShopRite with Elena, but they wanted her to work nights and Teri and I didn't want her to drive at night. She has trouble seeing. Elena on the other hand went almost full time at ShopRite in Pearl River back a year ago. She is still a manager's assistant and she goes to different departments to work. Up until things changed recently, she was working in the bakery.She finally has her new car and it is working fine as is her relationship with Matt. I'm sure you read the post about her going over to Matts in her onesie and how she came back with hickies. She can be a little rough when she talks to him, insulting him, making fun of him. She says he likes it and would never leave her. I hope she is right. She has invested alot of emonation capital in this relationship, I hope he knows how lucky he is and she knows how special he is to take all of the crap she throws at him. Love is grand (sarcasm) Nastia is dating Brandon and she hasn't beenable to be with him him because he has gotten a case of or was exposed to Covid. She only gets to see him in the evenings or on Wednesday's again in an empty house if they go back over to his parents house to 'hang'. yeah, I've already talked about all the mischief I got into back then in empty houses and they both are as well prepared as they can be and I hope they are careful. Teri still has her job. I am writing this on a Friday morning, she is at the other end of the table getting angry over something that is going on with one of her workers and how they are good at their job, but they are getting into things that are not what is important or at least top of the pile stuff. Teri types furiously a reply to her worker. She then growles at me, " I hate this job!". I wish she could find a new one that would make her happy and pay her a decent salary for the next few years.

Elena, oh boy, what a character

Yesterday morning, before going to work I'm sitting at my keyboard writing when Elena comes down in her Stitch onesie. She anounces that she is going over to Matt's house. I ask, "like that?" In her patented there's nothing going on her

voice she says, "yeah, I'm too lazy to get changed." Now it's a Wednesday, both girls have Wednesdays off and she is going over to her boyfriend's house. An empty house, I'm sure, but You have to remember that this is the girl who has no interest, she says in sex, doesn't like to talk about it and has said she will never have kids. The one big thing I have left out and I still get a chuckle everytime I think about it. A few days ago Matt asnd Elena decided that they are offically boyfriend and girlfriend, not just friends. Well off she goes and I am surprised when I go outside that her car is still there. Matt must have come to pick her up. I go off to work and don't think twice about my daughter going over to her 'boyfriend's (silent chuckle) empty house'. Now I'm sure that all of you reading this remember going or have someone come over the house when it was empty and all the mischief that happened. I am of two minds here. One, both girls have been taught everything they need to know about being safe. There is no Bridgerton here, (A Netflick's show about the Elizabethian era, sort of and how a young girl grows up and knows nothing on her wedding night, it's good.). My other thought is no one was able to stop me and if I tried they would just hid it better. Nastia has hidden it very well and if she hadn't talked to me about it I'd have never knowen anything. So I guess it should come as no surprise when we all gewt togehter at bowling that night Elena is in a good mood and Nastia is saying, "go look at her neck". Yes, I go over and check how several hickies. I tell Elena, they're

beauties. Nastia can't believe I'm not angry. I remind Nastia, I can't stop it from happening and I have tell Nastia, like I will remind Elena later when we are alone. I fully expect you to have a full and healthy sex life, just not today. When I say this to Elena, it is in response to her saying, You know what comes after hickies...sex. I do hope they are safe and careful.

I have no good title for a post about cars and the girls

When I was a kid the thought about cars and girls was lots of fun. This one is not. This is a post about the girls and their cars and how I am or Teri is solving their problems. Elena's is or was a simple problem. One evening last week I get a call at work from Teri saying Elena's car, her new car is stuck at ShopRite in Pearl River with a dead battery. I leave work a little early and get over to ShopRite. I have a mini battery with jumper cables that start the car up right away. That is a good thing since I'd didn't have jumper cables with me. I did have a car charger with a long extension cord, but that wouldn't have helped since there was no outlet anywhere near. Me. being the guy I figure that is the end of it. Elena must have left something on. I have her start the car when we get home and it starts fine. She also parks in front of Teri in the driveway on the southern side of the house. The next morning I leave for work. At work I get bombed with all sorts of things and just about that time I get a call from Teri saying Eleena's car won't start again and she has blocked Teri's car in. That turns out to be the tipping point and I'm telling Teri I'll be there in twenty minutes. I need to get out of that office. Bill one of my bosses tells me to take my time drive relaxed and come back after I'm done and try to relax. Whenever I've had to go to help out one of the girls, I've not been able to drive slowly. Manner of fact, I can't drive slow where ever I go. I feel if I start driving slowly old age will catch up with me and as Satchel Page once said, " don't look back, someone might be gaining on you." So I try to keep my eyes on the road and do eighty. I also don't want to die too young, so I'll glance in the mirror occationally to see if someone, death, might be gaining on me. Just a little joke, yeah, I know, very little. I get to the house and the car charger that worked wonders the other night,doesn't have the power to start the car this time.Thank God I still have the big charger. I pull out the car charger from my Grand Am's trunk, pop the Honda's hood, run the extension cord to the outlet I installed on

the house when we first moved in (yes, it still works fine) make all the connections and the car starts in a minute. Every time I use this car charger, something left over from the dairy I thank god I still have it. The charger, the air pump and the floor jack three of the items left over from the dairy that I didn't use for many years and mostly were just in the way until recently. I move Elena's car to the new driveway and face it out in case it needs to be jumped. Tomorrow morning, the battery is dead again and it needs to be jumped, which I do, except the little hand battery doesn't work this time, so I get the charger out of the trunk and plug it in again. A few seconds later Teri is in her car and a little frantic. She never likes to be late, even if it is for an unimportant appointment like this. She even gets herself a little crazy when she tells her sister she'll pick her up at one to go the grocery store. I'm not saying it is a bad thing, it's just she should bring it a little back to the middle from the extreme. Elena and Teri bring the car over to Bill Kolb and the three of us meet to have breakfast at IHOP. Covid breakfast is just as weird as Covid anything. I join Teri and Elena at the mall. it's about ten on a Saturday morning and it is empty, ghost town empty, middle of a walking dead episode empty. Manner a fact there are a few elderly people in the distance that give me pause ( no I'm not old yet, that's why I drive 80 to prove it.). The restaurant is socially distanced and we enter wearing our most recently comfortable masks purchased from Restaurant depot. They are washable and a nod to the fact that Covid will not be over anytime soon. We sit down and continue wearing our masks like they are now a part of our clothing like socks and underwear. After a few moments Teri removes her's and it hits everyone to do the same. The waitress comes over and it is tough to not make eye contact with her like I was taught to do. We order and have an enjoyable breakfast. Life seems almost normal for a little while. /

Elena has a new car, a Honda CRV 2011, I think.

We're half way through the month of January. The weather hasn't really decided what the time of year is. We got some snow in mid December, but it was gone by Christmas. Christmas zoomed by so quickly that New Years wasn't even over. I'm not complaining about the quick exit of the Covid holidays. Well it was going to happen one way or the other. Both danger girls are back on the road. Nastia killed the Ford Escape finally back in September. She crashed her car into a guard rail to provent a killer bee from savagely attacking her. She was without a car until almost Christmas. Elena killed her Ford Taurus one night in the middle of a tempertantrum, passing a guy who pulled out in front of her from Snake Hill Road. She tried to pass him on Old Mill Road and didn't make it. Her car's rear passenger door got hit by his bumper spinning her around and she hit a telephone pole with her trunk, luck to be alive. Nastia got a Mazada 6 sometime in December and finally Elena got her car this past week. With Covid, used car prices have gone through the roof. Teri found a Honda CRV at a Bill Kolb dealership down Route 303 in Orangeburg. It had 96,000 miles on it. I was tired of buying cars from private individuals and then having to repair them. So the dealership car checked all of the boxes. Elena was even going to take out her first loan. We went down to Bill Kolb Subaru on Route 303, near the walking bridge that crosses 303. It was a cold day and we were all wearing our masks. I rarley see anyone not wearing ond these days which makes me happy. I really don't want to yell at people. THe dealership was Covid crowded. All desks were socially distanced and a partition was errected between the desk and the chairs i front. We asked for the salesmen we made the appointment with and got another gentlmen named Juan. We sat down and he showed us the limited supply of cars he had for less then $10,000 and less then 100,000 miles. During his speel I'm thinking back to 1979 when I bought my first new car for $9,800.00, a Jeep CJ5 and then I remembered my parents bought their house in about 1952 for %9,000.00. We go out to look at the car. We go all through it and Juan asks if we want to take it for a test ride. We do, but Elena doesn't want to drive it, so I do. We head out to 303, make a right going south and enter the Palisades Parkway north for a quick trip. I notice the CRV has no pickup. It's a doggy 4 cyclinder. I tell Elena. I exit the Palisades at teh next exit and turn off onto some side roads to try out the brakes to make sure it doesn't pull. I ask Elena again if she want to drive it. With her courage up more, she says yes. She starts out slowly on the back

roads. After a minute or two she asks how to get back to the dealership. I hesitate for a moment, then remember she is a fully licensed driver and this may become her car. I tell her and she brings the car back with no problem. We take a quick drive of a Subaru Forester. Elena takes it from the get go and doesn't like the heavy wheel. She has settled on the Honda CRV. Now all there is to do is the paperwork. Teri was going to cosigh, but I think there was an issue about something that Elena became the cosigner. Either way she gets some credit history and a car. She is set to pick it up on Wednesday after we get insurance on it and with a little effort to track down the registration for the Taurus by Teri Elena is now back on the road. GOD KEEP HER SAFE AND NOT ANGRY

Starting the New Year

It the first Monday of the new year and it is also Teri's first day back at the job she really doesn't like. The girls are up in bed right now sleeping.Elena starts work today at twelve. Nastia stgarts at one and will drive Elena to work before sahe goes in freeing Teri from having to stop work and drive them. Ever since Elena wreaked her car back around November we have been looking for another car for her. She doesn't seem to put much effort into helping. When asked whatg she wants she says maybe red, a red car. We were having dinner last night. Teri was upstairs in the bathroom and it was just the three of us. We were talking. I don't know if it was out of the blue or if we were talking about cars, but Elena says, "When I get my car, I'm not going to wear my contacts at night, the doctor says I don't have to." When I heard it I knew she was baiting me. Maybe she didn't know she was, but she was. Baiting someone, my definatioln is when you say something to get a reaction from someone else. It is also baiting when you are talking about doing something in the future that you can't do now. So I'm sitting there saying out loud, "i'm not going to take the bait." She continues on and after a few moments I say, "I'm taking the the bait and I tell her, "If you insist on driving without your contacts at night, you're getting your own insurance." I regreated it the moment I said it. She didn't react to it and she said something else that I was going to respond to when I decided to get up from the table and eat the last few bites of my dinner in the kitchen. I knew if I stayed, she'd get me angry and Elena only has off and intense anger toward me it seems and I'm not sure if I lose my temper with her what will happen. Elena is still dating Matt. I was with Nastia one night recently and I asked her about the two of them. She said it is really not like dating. Nothing is going on. Which I can understand. Elena is very private and as I have said she is the ultimate closed book. If she doesn't want you to know something, you won't. She hands out with him mostly on facetime. They talk most every night until past midnight. Sometimes I have seem her talking to them after one in the morning.She hangs out with him, I think most every Wednesday, except recently when a co-worker of her's was exposed to someone with Covid. To be on the safe side, she stayed away from him. There turned out to be no Covid. Nastia is in the same boat as Elena, as far as see her boyfriend. He works second or third shift at an office building in the city. She sees him on Wednesdays in the morning into the early afternoon. OUt of the blue, recently she asked me when do you know it is time to have sex with someone. I thought for a second, no really I did. I do want both of them to have a healthy and happy sex life, but not today. Had tomorrow finally come? My therapist once said and I don't remember the context completely, but I thought it fit for this question. I asked her has she farted infront of him? She said no, I then asked if she has burped in front of him? She said not on purpose. My third question, I thought of myself. Could you imagine yourself naked infront of him? I don't think I got an answer. My therapist, I think was referencing levels of comfort around your siginificant other. The first two questions are basic body functions that everybody does, but do you do them infront of others? I don't know if I slowed her down or gave her the green light to have sex. It is very easy for it to happen with her and him. He is home during the day when his parents are at work. Nastia and him go over his house to 'hang out'. I hung out with my first significant girl friend at her house during the day when we both weren't in college. I loved those times with her. She know about birth control and the drawbacks of condumns (only 98% effective) and to never have sex without both. I know there is nothing I can do to stop either of them from having sex. I just hope that they have listened and learned, and will be safe. /

An Odd New Years eve

2020 has passed into the rearview mirror and I hope to never see such a year again. I feel that at a minimum I have lost nine months of my life. Everyone says that this past year they have been able to reconnect with family. Not ours. Teri works from home yes, but the girls go off to work every day or so as do I. Some nights I don't get home until after seven and Teri will still be working. It has gotten to the point that Teri said she wants to retire this coming March. We got together with our financial advisor, Tom Lynch to see how we stack up. I thought that if we kept

working at it until we both reached 66 1/2, we'd have enough to retire here in Rockland. On the other hand, on Teri's 62nd birthday we'd come up rather short of the monies needed for Teri to retire. I thought if it would help I was willing to throw in my monies. They were a lot less than I'd thoiught they'd be. In the next three and change years for me they are supposed to grow up rather alot I've been told.

So with no immediate plans to retire we both face our first and hopefully last Covid New Year. Usually we'd go over Eric and Lynn's and sit around and watch TV, talk, do whatever. I didn't think I'd miss it so much. Around eight, with Terion the couch, I put on the movie 'When Harry met Sally' I thouight it was an appropiate movie as it ends on a New

Years night and it is one of Teri's most favorite movies. About half way through it Teri is asleep like usual, I tried. After that She says to turn on something that she won't find interesting, so I put on Star Trek Discovery.

I love it she hates it. After a while even thought New Years is less then an hour away she goes upstairs. The girls left for upstairs long ago, so it is just me an my thoughts. No, I wasn't lonely. I spent a little while grieving over the number of years I'd been alive, missing being younger and enjoying life. I think it was Hunter S. Thompson who said just before he killed himself something about it being a waste to live beyond thirty because life was boring or something like that. I didn't appreciate being young not having anything to compare it too. I used to

love when I'd catch a womens eye. Now sitting in my chair alone with my thoughts at the end of Covid 2020, looking forward to a future that would eventually get better, a felt tears come to my eyes as the clock slowly ticked it's way toward midnight. It seemed at that point that Covid season would just go on and on. They keep pushing back the date that commoners like you and I can get our Covid shots. I hear more then half of the NYPD don't

want to get shots. Not enought for herd immunity boys! So Covid will just keep on going until over 70% of the nation has gotten it sometime around the two year mark if the Spanish flu is any guage in the matter. So that means I'll be saying good bye to Covid 2021 in a year hoping that everyone I love has managed to see another year through. I know Happy Fucking New Year!! I can't leave it like that now can I? It would be real easy to do that. I mean it is New Years day night, no I'm sorry it is twelve minutes after midnight, I can hear Teri yelling lightly at the girls (yelling lightly at the girls. what the hell is that) about not brushing their teeth. I guess they both want to be like my dad who had all of his teeth pulled when he went into the army. in 1942 or there about.

It's quiet now, the little darlings have brushed their teeth and Teri has closed the bathroon door. Except for the sound of water running there is no other sound, it is peacful. Teri opens the door and I hear her say good night to Elena, Nastia as soon as her head hits the pillow is in dream land. The dogs are settled, my wife is settled and the girls are settled. Everyone is settled in for the night and again tonight I am left to listen to the voices in my head and the thought that they utter. Someone hiccups and Teri asks if they are alright. The house goes quiet again, now the heater in the kitchen clicks on and I want to end this piece on a positive note. I stop to think about everyone. I haven't lost anyone this past year. Even though Teri hates her job and I'm tired of mine, we both have jobs. The girls are safe in their beds and soon I will join Teri in ours. A distant hiccup competes with the kitchen heater for my attation. I know I have droned on for far too long about crap and I should stop. It's just that I find comfort and some sort of vague meaning writting this. Even with all the spelling mistakes and grammer issues I wouldn't have kept this up for all of these years if I didn't really enjoy doing it. I guess I can add that to the list of things in my life that I can be greatful for. The list it turns out is surprisingly long, I just need to remember to write it down one day, just after I finish Elena's room, the kitchen cabinets, the attic, build the shed........... /

Putting up the tree and Christmas and more Covid fun

The previoud post I started maybe a week ten days ago and just finished it. During that time we put up our Christmas e and Christmas has come and it is now the day after Christmas. One day about the time of the snow storm I bought the tree down from upstairs. Teri and I had already had our discussion about the price of Christmas trees and how neither one of us could in good consciousness spend a minimum

of fifty dollars on a real tree. So I bought the Christmas tree that Linus bangs on while him and Charlie Brown are looking for a Chrismas tree down stairs. I felt at that point I'd done my duty and would leave it up to others to take it from there. On a Wednesday, after bowling, I think, I could be wrong, Elena decides it's time to put up the tree. SHe starts to unbox it and she puts the middle in the tree stand first. I was just going to watch, but I am the one who each year has put the tree together and having all that experence can't stand by and watch someone learn to do something. I know give someone a fish, they eat for a day. Teach someone to fish and they fish the oceans empty or something like that. We work on it together. I guide her and let her take the lead.We both hunt around for the electrical connections to light the prehung tree lights. Then Elena starts the canned music (ah, such a tradational christmas) (It's now New Years day 12:10) Christmas eve night Nastia, Elena and I are upstairs wrapping presents. We would have done it a day earlier except Teri still had not finished wrapping the presents. THe three of us wrap gifts for Teri and as a modern family I have Queens album Sheer Heart Attack playing, while they both have their boyfriends or maybe just friends on their phone facetiming. I wrap the Apple computer I got Teri. Two funny stories about that, maybe three. About a month ago, I am talking to Teri telling her we should get Elena a new computer because she

can't play games on her computer. Teri says that it would cost too much. An udea starts to form in my head. I ask her what she things is too much and after she tells me, in addation to telling me she needs a computer because her wireless connection is not working (I think that was what gave me the idea) I ask her what computer she would want. She says an Apple. I hate Apple because of Steve Jobs arrogance and the companies arrogance. They keeppushing the price of their products up and up seeing how high they can go And people continue to buy them. At this moment I decide to buy her the computer she wants. A few weeks later I go to Apple in Nanuet. I walk up to the store forgetting that Covid rules still. I get ready to get on line when a worker tells me I have to call up and make an appointment to get in. Surprizingly I keep my temper and go back to my car and call. The women who answers the call is very nice and I end up buying it on line. I wanted to get a computer with a large screen. I get the bigger screened computer, but it has the Intell chip in it not the new Apple chip. That adds about a thousand dollars to the price. If I'm buying a computer, I'm in for a peeny, I might as well be in for a pound, so I go the whole nine yards. The tenth was just too much to bite off. I got the Apple pro with the larger screen and the Intell chip spending just slightly north of.......I wait the half hour for my appointment and I go right in and pick up my computer at the front of the store where they have step up booths to block off the store and protect the workers. What I spent on the computer would not have been so bad had I not also bought the Romba vacuum and spent more then I should have. I end up giving that to the girls to give to Teri. THe sweater I bought earlier in the month I'll give her for her birthday. Christmas morning I go up to Nastia's room. Both girls are sleeping in her room, while Nancy and Nevel are in Elena's room for he night. I roll camera as I step over the dog fence and start telling everyone to get up. it is after all the crack of something like ten-thirty on Christmas morning and Santa Claus has come. It's a classic video and I hope I can up load it. After a while eveeryone gets up and after we eat and do some other things and Amanda come by we open presents. I'm sitting on the couch by the front window across from Teri. Every so often Teri complains to me I am taking pictures. I always do this bacause I never know when it will be the last one. These videos used to include Tony and maybe even

June Teri's parents, but they're gone now. I notice Teri is opening up the Romba so I start teh camera. When she realizes what it is she starts to cry a little. When she does that you know you have really touched her. Then she opens the computer. At first she doesn't know what it is. I can even hear her ask what it is. When she realizes what it is, well lets just say she was very touched. It was a good Christmas.

Teri got Nasta and Elena Stitch onesies. Elena opens her's first, Nastia second. Now like any regular person Elena takes off only a few items of clothing keeping herself mostly covered. Nastia on the other hand proceeds to strip down to her t-shirt and underwear. Whe I notice this through the lense of my phone camera, I tell her. She acts embarrassed for a moment, covers up, then proceeds to continue to change into the onesie. She really doesn't get embarrassed around family too easy. If asked she'd say it was just like wearing a bathing suit. Well sort of. For dinner we have a rib roast. Joining us for the first time in a few years is Amanda's father Donald. Like Teri Donald was forceable retired by Pfizer a few years ago. He was able to find a job, but at half of what he was making, I can relate to that. Unfortunately Covid put him on unemployment and he comes over in a very deep and blue funk. He was let go by Rockland Bakery in hte spring and during that time he went into a deep depression where he just gave up again I can relate to that. His depression is still so all consuming that when he comes in it proceeds to consume everything. I'm sitting at a table, in a house eating a rib roast, having just given my wife a gift that cost way too much and it is mostly all because of Teri that I am able to do that. I can see myself one divorce decree away from being in Donald's shoes. How do you enjoy Christmas when the waif from the corner selling pencils in the cold is sitting at your table or something like that. There but for the grace of god go I. It is scary. I know he made his bed and all and he is just following the path his father blazed, but damn. The two things he did that I wish he hadn't was when he proceeded to lecture the girls on safe driving. I won't

expand on that thought. The other thing was he sat at the table and let his ex-wife act like she was his servant. She should have just left his dishes alone. Maybe doing his own dishes like we did is some of what he needs to do to get back on his own two feet. Something to make him feel useful, not taken care of. Christmas ended early. Donald left, Teri took Nancy home and Amanda had to leave before dinner to go to work. It was a memoral Christmas, but it was still a Covid Christmas. It seems like it will newver end. /

Happier times and snow storms

I wrote most of the below before I had a talk with my wife, guys you know the talks. They comes out of left field and blind side you. Most of what she said was true, or at least I could believe it. She said I came in that night in a bad mood. I didn't think I was, but I could believe it. What I know she said was she was fixing dinner on her own and c ould use some help. That statement or a version of it was the reason I went upstairs to get them to come down and help. The reason I believe her when she said I was in a bad mood was when Nastia says they are going for I walk I cursed at them instead of just saying no you're not. My relationship with Elena is different now then it was before Tuesday night. It will take time for me to feel comfortable being around her like we used to be. The viciousness of the attack stil lingers. I feel a distance has opened up between us that I would like to bridge, but it will take some time. It's a few days later and our relationship is as near to normal as possible. I know it will never be like it was. She knows it too. I was at the sink doing something when she comes up behind me and hugs me, that is something I rarely remember her doing, I felt very special that she was making an effort. And one night, near that night I went into kiss her good night and I saw her smile when I came in. I knew then we could mend our relationship. The weather services has been predicting a storm for several days now. Yesterday they said it would start sometime in the mid morning hours and dump somewhere in the neighborhood of a foot and a half of snow. When I woke up yesterday I expected to see snow, there was nothing. All through the day I expected it to start snowing. I'd even told Teri I'd be home no later then two. At four, it was time to leave to go bowling. I get in my car to go home. I pick up Elena and Nastia and go bowling, still no snow. The weather service is still sure the snow is coming. About midway through bowling I notice it has finally started. A light white powder has covered my car and the ground. Just after we start our second game Nastia askes if we can drive her friend Jessica home. She lives up New Hempstead road, one of the biggest and most dangerous hills in the county. Living in West Nyack with my dad delivering milk to Valley Cottage and Congers, I'd alway heard him talk about the dangers of Sierra Vista drive and Christian Herald road. Christian Herald and Sierra Vista drive are curvy nightmares, while New Hempstead is mostly a stright hill, with a few dips. Once you get going down New Hempstead and you start to slide you might just keep on going until you hit the bottom or maybe the Hudson River. I reluctantly tell Nastia, okay. Jessica's games end before ours and she decides to take the bus instead of waiting. I'm relieved when Nastia tells me. A few minutes before seven we're do and We head out to the car. A couple of weeks ago my heater fan motor broke and I have been waiting for Nastia's car to get on the road to get it fixed. Until you don't have a heater fan motor, you never realize how much you depend on it in a snow storm. I wipe off the car of snow and the three of us get in. I grab a rag from my supply. Rags are one of the most important parts of my emergency kit. The other is a packing blanket, always great to keep warm or put under a tire, if you're in a snow bank. I wipe down the window and start the wipers. The window sorta clears. I put my classic 2000 Pontiac Grand Am in to gear and move forward. As I work my way out of the parking lot I am well aware that the two most precious things in my life are with me tonight and I need to bring them home safely. I make the left onto Main street in New City, the snow seems to fall a little harder, my window won't clear. It's freezing over either on the outside or the inside, I don't know. I keep wiping the inside every few minutes. Near the corner of New Hmpstead Road Nastia says she sees Jessica and she waves. I can't see out the front window. I'm not stopping for her, I can't, I won't. The car starts to lose traction going up the slight hill just after New Hempstead Road. If I'd stopped, I'd never made it up New Hempsterad, much less down it. I turn left onto Conger's Road and continue toward home at a slow pace. I pass the high school and prepare for the infamous S curve that I have always feared my daughters taking during a storm like this one. My car was never made for bad weather and everytime I needed tires I'd say put some on.The tires on my car are for show, not go. The tread is not at all argressive. In outher words the tire and the treads appear very smooth as apposed to all weather tires or the classic snow tires with their large bumps that will dig into snow and push rain asside, while the tire I have will begin to hydroplane very quickly. I head down the hill keeping my foot on the brake, giving the car as little gas as possible. We make it through the S turn and across the causeway before we begin to spin tires on the last little hill before home. My odomoter reves high and the speedometer says the car is going fifty, while we are crawling up the hill at maybe twenty. Near the top of the hill it is questionable if we are going to crest this hill. The speed drops some more as we top the hill. The tires grab some asphalt and we are moving almost normally. The little hill on South Harrison Avenue from Congers road is my last obstacle. On this one I punt and turn on to South Conger Avenue, it's slight grade and no traffic make the last half mile a relaxing victory lap. And yes the heater fan is getting fixed as soon as Nastia's car is on the raod. /

What was I thinking?

I don't want to write this blog, but I am hopping that in the future Elena and I can laugh about it all. Elena and I are sooo much alike, it hurts at times like this. I remember all the times my dad and brother Karl would fight and I would always wait for it to turn violent. Tonight when Elena and I had our episode it was very close to violent. It started out very inocent. I came home and Teri was sad. She was making dinner at 7 at night and complained that no one was helping her. I thought that I should do something about that. So I head upstairs to confront the girl. When I get there they are bundled up to go out for a walk. And as Nastia goes down the stairs she confirms this. So in my most diplomatic of forms I tell them "The fuck you are" or maybe it was something similar, but I di use the word 'fuck'. This is were Elena gets into it. She begins to spew a line of curses woven into vast amounts of anger and even hatred. I don't think the hatred was directed at me, but I just happened to be there and I set it off by cursing at her. Now the funny part and I'm sure we will all laugh about this sometime in the future, maybe. Nastia and Elena had cleared it with their mother to go for the walk. No one had told me though. As Elena spews her anger and hatred in my general direction I notice little bits of spit start to come out of her mouth. It's funny what you notice when you are being assulted by someone you thought loved you more then this. The hatred and anger continue on. My fists are doubled and I am hanging on for dear life. I know if I touch her it will be all over. I think I can still take her but at what cost? The cost of this fight, one I didn't think would happen amd I didn't go up there to cause has already cost too much. All the work I've done to repair the vestages of the previos fight between her and I has most likely gone out teh window, so I hang on for dear life trying not to lose it. Finally I say to no one inparticular, "That's it I'm done, no more." I don't know if I was declaring that I would take no more of her abuse or that I was lewaving or if maybe I was not going to hit her and I was leaving. Whatever it ws I walked down the stairs shaking with the anger she bought up in. I was also sure that same anger boiled more hotly inside her. Ah the passions of youth. I go down into the kitchen, Teri pleading in my ear not to break her. I'm hearing this wondering what I just did if not, not break her. Teri goes in what would normally be heart breaking detail about breaking her. I keep telling Teri to stop. Teri then switches gears and starts complaining that she can't walk around between to fragile egos. I'm hurt and insulted that she thinks I have a fragile. I spent fourteen years in therapy getting in touch with my feelings and she calls it my fragile ego. I feel battered by both sides at this point and I try again to get her to stop. Finally after something she says about Elena, I decide to go upstairs. I think I found a starting point to talk with Elena. I walk through the dinning room from the kitchen with determined steps. Nastia walked into the kitchen just before I left and said Elena had calmed down. Maybe I felt that was my opening. I climb the stairs quitly, only the squeeking of the wood gives away that I am approaching. When I get upstair I am confronted by the closed bathroom door. I call out for Elena in my calmest voice. She replies and I know she is not as calm as Nastia has said. I ask her to open teh door so we can talk, she says no and I am sure now she is still very angry. I wonder for a brief second if I have made a mistake coming up here so soon. I plunge ahead and begin to talk to the door tell her my version of the events and how I didn't come up there to start a fight and I know you don't value my apologys (a left over from a former fight) but I'm sorry. The door opens and when it hits me she says she is sorry. I see her fists clinched and they shake slightly, in adation to her lip trembling. She is still very angry and the adrenaline in her system is still having it's way with her. WE talk more and slowly she starts to unwind. Eventually I have enough courage to ask her for a hung. When she comes to me and hungs me I know it is really over and I hung her back like there is no tomorrow.I tell her I love her. The fight will have a lasting impact on our relationship. well aT least on my side of the relationship. I wonder where we will proceed from here. She hides in her room each night and we rarely talk. When I drive her to work we talk for a little while, then she hides in her music. I don't stop her. Maybe she could use fourteen years of therapy like I went through. I was drinking while I wrote this so I didn't bother editing it. Post mortem: It's the next morning and I've edited some of it. I've improved some of the spelling, but I'm not going to change much more. I woke up sad this morning, feeling a little out of sorts. I was in bed trying not to think about what happened last night. On an emotional level I am very hurt, but on an itellectual level I am able to step back and examine what happened. I cursed really not at her, but at her sister. It caused her to get very angry. Now is this anger which was very over the top and excessive aimed at me or men in general or at people who have power, preceived or other wise? It was too over the top to be aimed solely at me, I think. Elena is dating Matt, but she refuses to admit she is dating him, I think because she has so much invested in this relationship that if it were ever to end and had admitted she is in love with him and dating him, she would have admitted a weakness in addation to being devastated. And that would be too much for her to admit to. So does her anger come from people having power over her, or is it that she attacks men because of the power they may hold over her or does she attack because of a love she is afraid will be withdrawn? I don't know, I have no training except being in the other chair for fourteen years. I'm very afraid for her future if she doesn't get back into therapy. She follows our rules and regulations, but when we are gone will there still be that tether to abide by rules set by people who are not here any more? She doesn't drink much, but as she gets older will that change and cause her problems? She smokes, will that become a problem? I pray to god neither one of us ever have to find out if any of these above things will cause her pain. Life is rough enough without all of those demons running around in your head yelling all of those nasty things they can yell. It took me years to silence mine and sometimes even now I can still hear them. /

Santa Claus is coming to Town and all the crap that goes with it.

Well it's getting near that time of year again and with the occational cold weather comes all the things about Christmas that I hate and love. When the girls were younger Christmas was a lot more fun. They'd get up at the crack of dawn and I'd take videos of them opening their presents. Now with both of them in their twenties, it's a little different. Nastia has a new boyfriend, he is the brother of Amanda's friend.So when I drop Nastia off at work I tell her be safe, work hard and not to have sex with her boyfriend too quickly.

Times have changed. The last few years at Christmas when the girls get up at the crack of 11:30 and stumble down stairs to get something to eat, wait who I'm I kidding, when they stumble down stairs to get a cup of tea or drink some Mountain Dew, they reply to our salutations of merry christmas with their own mumbled hosannas to us about christmas. When presents are not opened at the crack of dawn and everyone waits for someone to get Aunt Nancy, it bring to mind that Teri and I were cheated of the first eight and ten years of their lives and really now they should be just eleven and nine, opening their presents and saying in their broken english, "oh, wow, thank you!",I miss those days. The innocence of those days when I didn't have to ask my daughter not to have sex with her new boyfriend too quickly. When their christmas gift lists and I do have them somewhere consisted of things like gum and candy. It broke our hearts when we read that list. Now they are all American kids and they don't do christmas lists, plus they don't really need anything.If they want something, they work, they get it. I remember my first Christmas when it wasn't magical. Eric come to the door of my room. I was in the front part of the house then and he goes, "Joe, get up it's Christmas" and in my mumbled voice I truely believe my daughters now use on me, I said, "I'll be there in a minute.", but I wasn't. Before all of the joyous celebrations there is the yearly question and fight over the Christmas tree Teri and I have. And it is not even what you'd thing it would be over, well maybe you wouldn't. Well it's not over whether or not we'll have a real Christmas tree. We agreed that we would alternate between them each year, so for the last dozen years wev'e had one real christmas tree. During that time I've usually been overwhelmed by the season even

though Teri does all of the gift buying except for her and my mom. I just get blue sometimes and I don't know why. After the holiday which during the seriously blue times I'd call the hollowdays, I'd promise myself to d better next year. When it was finally next year. I promised myself I'd decorate the house and get a real Christmas tree. I was going to start just after Thanksgiving. I even started looking for the first sign of the season, the tree lots to appear. Yea, I know, the real first sign of the season comes in October when the Christmas displays go up in stores. In the good old days it was when they started playing the Christmas shows on TV and you'd first notice the chill in the air, with it's hint that maybe there would be snow coming and we'd get a white Christmas.

SO last Wednesday Teri meets us at the Covid bowling alley and if you regularly read this blog you know that is when I found out thta Christmas trees are a minimum of fifty dollars. To some that may be a minuscule amount, but I can remember when trees were $19.95. I love live trees and have many fond memories of decorating them, but how can you defend spending fifty dollars on a tree that if yo are lucky will be up in your living room or other room for a mazium of four weeks. And the perfectly retched tree that comes stright out of a Charles Brown Christmas when Charles and Linus are walking through the lot of Christmas tree and they bang on one of the tree and it gives off a metal sound. We bought the perfectly retched tree a few years ago. It is only retched because it has come to represent everything I hate ablut Chrismas and it forced gift giving. It is fake, it is prewired with lights AND MUSIC! Bang on that Charles Brown!! While I'm on my soap box let's talk about whats wrong with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Teri loves it and the funny thing about it and don't read further if you don't want to be delusioned it is a tail of abuse, rejection, eliteism and an unhappy Santa. I read a story about the creation of the story. It was written by a man who'd just lost his wife to cancer I think. He was related to Johnny Mercer who created the song from it. About 1963-4 a company, maybe Norelco Razor ( I remeber Santa Claus riding down a hill on the electric razor) wanted to promote their product. So ADVERTISING MEN Rankin and Bass (I always thought they were Hollywood types) took the song and created the first Christmas special, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. It opens with Rudolph being born and rejected by his father, Donner, one of Santa's own. It goes down hill from there. I won't bore you with a blow by blow account of the rest of the tail I'm sure we all remember. But let me finish with Rudolph is only accepted by Santa and the rest after he is found to be useful. Kind of sounds like an abusive relationship is foring there. Now I know why there was never a sequel. It'd have to be called 'Rudolph the crack nose, I'll do you for twenty reindeer'

It's December 13th, 2020, the year my wife bought a Christmas orament that says "Fuck 2020" That kind of sums up the year for me too. I have witnessed a change in the world that no one will understand for many years. I do know that Covid has stopped both of my daughters from prusuing higher education. When Covid hit almost a year ago Nastia was trying to become a kindergarden teacher, then a school aide because becoming a teacher was too hard. While Nastia was floundering in her life choices, Elena was avoiding hers completely. She took a pass on going to class in her first semester of College. Then she thought she might be interested in auto mechanics. Neither wanted to do on line classes which are extremely tough on students. I fully expect the two of them to work in their respective grocery stores for the foreseeable future. Maybe they will be like Teri's cousin Kim who worked in a grocery store until she found, maybe not her passion, but at least a path to follow that she is not misserable doing.I can hope. Nastia would be happy just being a mom. I'm not sure if it would be as fulfiled as she thinks it would. Yes having a baby that depends on you for everything is right up her alley. but she what happens after they don't need her any more and she is left without anything to do. And no education or little job experence to do it. Plus if she has also been out of the work force for twenty plus years and if the revolution I see coming arrives and there are no more entry level jobs like cashier. When my grandfather was a kid his dad was a book binder. Then my grandfather was several things, none really a career. My dad was a breadman and a milkman. None of those occupations exist anymore. Boy am I off topic today. Elena is a little more flexable, but I can also see her not finishing her working career in a supermarket. Back on to topic. Well I'm sure you're tired of reading, so I will get back on topic with either part two of this or I will name the next entry something witty or maybe not. I usually can't tell if I'm being a jerk or being funny. /

Nastia goes on a date and Elena just keeps rollin along.

You'd think a pretty girl like Nastia would have boys chasing after her like dogs in heat. There is at least one of her male friends who'd like to date her, but he has gotten himself stuck in the friends zone. He is also a little weird and needs to grow up. He is not a bad looking kid. When he grows up he might get a little more then passing interest from girls, but probablly not Nastia. Nastia right now has specific wants in a boyfriend.The darker the better and she has this thing about abs. At her age I'm sure we all had our list of wants in the opposite sex. I always s had this thing for dark haired women. And I always seemed to date Italian women because at the time I didn't know I was searching for a greater sense of family. Nastia goes on a date in the afternoon, on a Sunday with a brother of a friend of her cousin, Amanda. His name is Brandon. Right now he is a doorman in the city. He has been doing it for about a year. I think Nastia said he studied broadcasting in college. They went out to eat lunch at a dinner. Then they hung out for a while and finished the date off with some pizza down the corner. During Covid, there really isn't anything you can do while on a date. Elena, the closed book has let a few secrets out of her closet about what she likes in boys. I don't think or maybe I don't know if she has a look she likes. I do know she does have a type. She doesn't want a boyfriend or someone she hangs around with to boss her around. If he does, he goes. She has been hanging around with Mathew for a while. I can't say dating, but she has brought him dinner on occation while he has been at work and she does spend sometimes a good poration of the night face timing him. She still says she is not dating him. And as far as I know she is not having sex. There was talk of her going back on the pill, but being the male in the house I have to ask about these things if I want to know and sometimes I do. She still gets real moody at times and like last night it bought the worst out in me. She wanted to borrow my car and she was told she has to put in contacts. She says the doctor says her eyes are good enough to drive at night without them. I say my car, my rules and other rather nasty things. I was trying to be funny about it, but I think it all came out nasty. She get angry and leaves. Later when she goes to leave I talk to her. Ever since she got real angry at me and accused me of being nasty, then saying I'm sorry. leaving the impression my apologies are hollow, I always think twicw before I say I'msorry. She never does. This time I took her in my arms and told her sometimes when she is in a mood, it bring out teh worst in me and I left it at that. I kissed her and told her to be safe and she left. Her monsters were not seen.She came home several hours later and seemed in a good mood. I guess hanging out with a friend can help keep the monsters in the closet.

It's also Nastia's birthday!

It's 8:30 on Thursday December 3, 2020. Nastia sometime today was born 22 years ago in a small town in Russia's far east called Obluchia. From what little I know about the town it is a small town, maybe a logging town or a farming town. I couldn't find any information on line. I couldn't even find mention of the town on line, it's that small. It's now Saturday night 7:41 and Nastia's party is just about over. There are a

few hardy souls left playing a game. I don't think it is cards against humanity. It is a game where you try to guess what something is on a card before time runs out. The party was to start about 2 in the afternoon and last until whenever. Earlier in teh week Nastia and Teri went out to shop for the party. They went to party city and got a bunch of decorations.They also purchased a cake and chips. The plan was to have chips and dips. Then order pizza about three and have ice cream cake about 5.

Vinnie, a guy who has a crush on Nastia showed up first, ten minutes early. Nastia hangs out with him for a while, but has to be told to entertain him every so often when she wanders off. Then about an hour later a group of kids show up. Teri and I have a fight before and during the party. She is angry at me for not fixing the doors to the corner cabinet. It has been an Elena's roof situation, but with extenuating circumstances. I had trouble finding the new hinges. When I did the screws were smaller then the original holes and I wanted to used the originals.I tried to drill the holes in the hinges bigger, but I broke the drill bit. Since then I haven't gotten back to them

again. The fight was not load, but it was intense. I really didn't know what she was angry at me for most of the fight. She has been angry at me, it seemed for a few days. Teri leaves with Nancy and goes to Stew Leonard's. I go upstairs to watch TV, which was part of the problem. She thought a parent should make an appearance, while my experence was during a party, especially as we got older parents were neither seen nor heard from except to clean up vomit from the night before. And I don't know who did that. I don't remember that night. When everybody was here they all sat down to play a card game called cards against humanity. They were some dirty joke tossed around while finishing the sentances. I ordered pizza and I left not wanting to hinder the fun they were having, not that it would stop them it seemed. I went to get the pizza from the corner. I returned with four pizzas. Earlier I'd bought up to my bedroom the firestick planning to watch some movies. After a few moments I fell asleep. About five I came down stairs to take the ice cream cake out of the freezer. I also went and warmed up some pizza for myself. About six, Teri comes home and our fight seems to have blown over like a summer thunder storm, but like all storms it will return if things remain the same.

Ice cream cake is served and a few people go home. The last will leave about eight. Nastia seemed to have fun, so did Elena. And I think everyone else did too. /

Covid burn out

I really don't know if this one will get published. I'm tired of Covid and all the people getting it. The virus has resurged this fall and people are being careless. We had one guy at work come in with covid. The theory goes he must have played soccor with his buddies, caught it there and came into work not knowing it. He works in the packing

department packing meals. He works right next to a women who is about three months, she catches it. The whole packing crew catches it because they were not wearing their masks properly or maybe not at all. I really don't know. A guy named Arturo from the dog food part of the company stepped in to help the packer before anyone knew what was going on and he too got it. A couple of chefs have it and everyone is still not wearing their masks properly. Some chefs in the kitchen have their mouths covered, but their noses exposed, that from what I understand is a waste of wearing a mask. I understand wearing a mask is realy awful. I can't wear it all day long either. When I go into the office in the morning I have my mask on. At night I put my phone and key board in a particular way that I will know if anyone has touched them. Even if they have not I wipe down my desk and anything in the office that I think I might touch during the day. Once I sit down at my desk I will take off my mask. If I get up again I will put it back on. I don't leave my desk without it. If someone comes over to talk to me, it goes on again. I hope this is enough. I really don't want to stop vising my mother who is 86, I think. It's selfish, I know, but especially now I hear that clock ticking loudly.