Father's Day, Ellis Island, Statue of Liberty

I didn't know what to expect for Father's day today because I am midway through the fifth month of unemployment, money is tight and will disappear in about a month.
  I got up early because Mesha doesn't do quiet mornings.

I let the three dogs, four with Nancy over last night out in the morning usually when I wake up around five. After Mesha comes back in she usually completely awake and manages to get everyone else up for at least a few moments. I was up at five went back to sleep and finally got up around eight. I was told to go back to bed and a few moments later the girls come into the room with cards and a father's day gift.
  I got a t-shirt and another card which has become a tradition. The card had a little Donkey on a big one and talked about being a pain in the ... It goes with the two moon card and the leave my nuts alone squirrel card. Not really childish cards.

   The tickets for Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty were for today so we all ate  and got ready to leave. We left around eleven and got down there after twelve. Got to the pier and even with the wind the ocean was pretty flat. I was happy, didn't want to throw up on father's day. I love the ocean, but it don't love me back. We got on the boat and the calm sea was really long low rollers about a foot or so high and it surprisingly rolled the boat pretty good. I felt it in my stomach and Nastia said she didn't feel so well. It was a short trip to Ellis Island and we roamed over the arrival building. Something like this is almost a religious experience. I am walking in the foot steps of the people who came before me. The people who made me and took that long dangerous trip to America for whatever reason. We stayed a couple of hours there, had a little something to eat and enjoyed the beautiful, bright sun shiny day.

   We got back on the boat to go to the Statue of Liberty and the boat moved out. When we got close to the Statue I started taking pictures. Something made me stop and start looking around the boat. Traditional Americans, you know us guys, white Europeans were few and far between. There were people from India and the middle east and Asia. All these different places from around the world snapping pictures of the Statue like it was going to pick up and move somewhere else tomorrow. It was amazing. I don't know if they were tourists or recently minted Americans, it was just totally amazing. Everyone was just so interested in the Statue.
  At the Statue, we wandered around. I bought a pocket knife with me and when we went through the first set of security at Liberty State Park they said when I went to the Statue to put the knife in a locker, boy did Teri have fun with me bring a knife. At the Statue we stuffed everything we didn't need in the locker.We bought jackets in case it was cold, it was hot,

I bought a knife and there was no wood to whittle (That's country talk where you take a perfectly good piece of wood and strip off sections of it until you have a pile of wood carvings. Some people carve stuff from it too) All that stuff went into the locker and none of us missed it. We only had tickets for the pedestal,so Teri and I got on line for the elevator.A Park Ranger kept walking by saying ten minutes by elevator, three minutes by stairs. Teri looks at me and says "NO" . I'm fine with it,my knee is not 100%, but the girls and Nancy wanted to do the stairs, so off they go. A few moments later Teri goes "You want to try it, she says it's only three minutes?" Well it was only three minutes until we decided to stop and take a break, That was one of I think three breaks, not minutes. I don't know how long it took us. Most likely not too much more then three minutes, but boy I'm gettin too old for this s...* In the past I would of run up those stairs.
  At the pedestal, we had a great view of everything. It was crowded and We didn't stay long. Going down the stairs was quick and a little easier.
  We got back to the car and headed home, that's when the day went a little south. The GPS insisted on taking us through the Holland Tunnel. Before that it took us on side roads and in a big circle. It gives options for routes and I think we picked the one that said to get lost in Jersey City. We got back home with a flat tire. Mesha for the first time had been left alone for an extended period of time. And She tore up the section of the house we didn't block off.

   We got the mess cleaned up and the tire switched off the car and after that things got calm until I realize Elena hadn't studied for her finals today or yesterday. Well I won't go into details except to say she knew she had to study and it felt like she was figuratively giving me the finger. She said she wasn't and just forgot...maybe.



*Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon

Too cold for Fireworks and in the pool ten days later

We went to the West Nyack Firehouse Carnival over at the town pool. Not that I'm bragging because Congers is really nothing, but West Nyacks was small. It was also cold . It's the last few days of May and no one wants to wear jackets. Teri and Nancy have jackets and as I'm going out the door I remember how it can be on the water during May and I grab a jacket and a sweater, Teri laughs at me and I leave the jacket in the car.It's early evening and we have come for the fireworks and the girls the rides. They get wrist bands and we spend fifty dollars. After a few rides, I think the girls are rode out,no they just want to win gold fish. We say no, they have wrist bands for rides.
 It starts go get dark and the temperature starts to go down too. After a while I even go get my jacket. The girls continue to ride. They went on several rides and when they stopped in front of the win a gold fish game. I knew what was next. "Mommy, Daddy, we want to win gold fish." Together, Teri and I said "NO" . I hate it because the fish is abused at the carnivals and die soon after they are home. Teri and I both didn't like the fact we just spent fifty dollars on wrist bands and they are already onto doing something else. There were no fish that night. They rode some more rides several times in a row, not even getting up to go around again and get on line. And yes we sat or stood around as it got colder and colder.
  About quarter to nine another m-80 went off and everyone jumped.  About this time is when Teri came up with the joke about it being too cold for the fireworks and we should go home. Nancy and I agreed. Teri figuring she was not going to win mother of the year anyway agreed.
 When the Girls got off this swing type ride Teri told them it was too cold for the fireworks to work and the two m-80 explosions was them testing them out. We got an "Awwh" from Nastia and Teri said we could go out for Ice Cream and we went to a Frozen Yogurt place in New City.    
  The Pool
  It was the usual opening the pool. The cover didn't keep a lot of the fall leaves out of the pool, Tthe holes in the cover and the pillow in the pool deflating didn't help.

So like usual I emptied the pool. I don't swim a lot, but I can't swim in a pool full of chemicals. I got the girls to go in the water and scoop out the leaves and Teri found the hole in the liner, I fixed it, then filled it. At almost full I stopped for the night. It had filled slowly and I thought it was because of bad water pressure, it wasn't. The level dropped down to almost a foot when I finally went into the water to find the hol. It was a foot away from the side and near the ladder. It was big. I fixed it and was about to get out when Teri came outside and said I should look for other holes. I figured what were the chances of other holes after I fixed these two big ones, but I did and after about twenty minutes found two more holes on the opposite side of the ladder. With those fixed the pool filled up very quickly and even though it was cold outside and the pool water was still the temperature out of the tap, the girls as soon as they got home went swimming. Crazy Russians!                                                                                             

What do you do when your child plays you and your wife has warned you trust is earned??

I know, its a long title, its a complex problem for me. I'll tell you the story and lets see where it goes...
  Elena gets to play x-box for circle sheets with threes and twos. For all the uninformed a circle sheet grades her daily between 3, the best and zero the worst everyday in every subject in four categories, homework, participation in class, arriving to class on time and behavior in class.
  Yesterday, for the second time in a row she did not bring home her circle sheet. Tuesday I asked her why and what she thought she got on the circle sheet giving her an opportunity to get x-box time she told me she left the sheet in school or something like that and would not venture a guess on how she did. I thought she didn't realize I wanted to give her x-box time, now I think she knew how bad the sheet was and chose not to bring the sheet home.
   Yesterday again no circle sheet and again I ask why and what did she think she got. She pulled the old, well I put it in my backpack and now I can't find it. I used to pull that when Iwas in school. I put it in my desk and I don't know what happened to it so I should have caught this one. I let her play x-box. She played two hours and then I had her come in and help me make eggplant parm. We both worked together, had fun and got dinner ready to put in the oven. Never a word about school.
  We sit down at the table and I hear something from Nastia about detention and Teri is asking Elena to tell her and she is refusing. Nastia tells what happened and it is in a relaxed playful environment so everything and everyone is cool. Elena got four detentions for I don't even remember what at this point. I start cleaning up and realize I am angry and I think it is because only Teri and I had the eggplant parm and the girls didn't even try it. No, it wasn't that. I call Elena down from upstairs and I wait for here in the kitchen. She comes to the door and stands there.
  I tell her, "I am in the kitchen here thinking I'm angry over the fact only your mother and I tried the eggplant, when I'm angry over the fact that you played me. I told her I was hurt because she knew she had detention and had not intention of telling anyone and she played x-box on top of that. I LET HER PLAY X-BOX WITHOUT A CIRCLE SHEET BECAUSE I WANT TO TRUST HER!!!!!! I didn't yell that at her, just at you now. Later after our talk I remember we had a talk about her not staying after school for track and I didn't believe her track is cancelled.
   I felt bad so I called her down and said "I am choosing to believe you that track was cancelled today and I'm sorry that I didn't believe you before."
  Her response was "That's OK, I don't care what people say to me."
  I told her I hoped she would care what I said to her. and she left.
  I remembered that after our talk and wanted to call her down and discuss it with her. Teri said I was dragging it out and should have done it all at once and I shouldn't start it all up again. I let it go, but now I feel very hurt by her and I didn't even want to talk to her this morning. In the car when her music was too loud, I grabbed her phone and turned it down without asking her to. I will get over this, its just right now I feel very hurt by her and it seems she doesn't care because she got what she wanted. I will try to not take my anger out on her in the following days. I've just got to remember, without anger what happened here and to make her earn my trust again and I told Teri I don't think we should reward her for any more good behavior. It has set a bad precedent and I am the most guilty one.
   Where do we go from here I don't know. I guess like parents for thousands of years Teri and I will play it by ear and hope for the best. There is so much good in her.


 
 

Mesha, one week later

I think our dog is defective, she leaks. It has been a week and I let her out at eleven pm again about 3 am and sometime about 5 am or so and I thought she was getting the idea that she was to do her business (come on don't make me spell it out, OK, pee and crap outside) but she hasn't yet. Teri keeps saying she had Mosha trained in a week, Mosha was smart. Mesha she keeps tilting her head when you talk to her like she doesn't understand.
  One morning, about three, I get up without turning on the lights and go towards the girls room. About half way down the hall I step in something squishy with my toes. I know what it is, I pick my foot up quickly, like it really matters and put it back down with just my heal touching intending to limp over to the bathroom to clean off my foot. When I put my heel down it squishes into some more. I've  stumbled into a mine field, in the dark expertly put down by our new dog to stop anyone from getting to the girls room our backing up without stepping on a mine. I manage to get out of the mine field without further damage and clean off my foot. I close the door to our room and turn on the light to clean the hallway. Except for it not being on the walls,what I see, is it looks like an pile of crap has exploded in the hallway. I grab a roll of paper towels, a plastic bag and the spray and get to work. When I'm done a good section of the rug, about six feet long looks nice and clean. The rug is ripped and worn out, but this section looks really good. It stays that way for about the rest of the night, our new dog it turns out has, as my wife would say 'the diarrhea'. Not to go into too many stories, but there is one where I let her out, she comes back in, craps in the hallway, I catch her, she stops, I put her outside, clean up, bring her back in and she finishes when my back is turned cleaning up a pee stain. Ahh, life with a new puppy, can you blame me for not finding a job?
   We started giving her some rice with her food and the problems have lessened. So far she sleeps on the floor, by the bed. There is no room on the bed with Athena and sometimes Bandi there. She has chewed several wires and charging cords, one I don't know what it is to. One Nastia threw out with some crap she cleaned up and I had to go through the garbage to dig it out. Her reasoning was, "Well its all chewed up, its no good." Silly girl she doesn't know she lives in the house of unlimited duct tape and black electrical tape. I got out my knife and tape, a few minutes later it was all fixed. Now if I knew what it was to!

Mesha, the German Sheffer

We got a new dog, her name is Mesha. She is a ten week old rescue dog, full breed German shepherd. Someone saw her advertised at Dapper Dog in Central Nyack and told Teri. I got the phone call from Teri about ten in the morning. I have to saw that she at least asks me about a crazy purchase like this. I don't like to say no to Teri about most things, because she works real hard and they are mostly reasoned out requests, this one wasn't. We currently have, including Mesha, Athena, Bandy, and the cats Benastork and Niki. It is going to be a madhouse at feeding time at the zoo.
 Teri says they can't hold the dog and I need to go give 500 cash and go over and buy the dog. I agree to go over to Dapper Dog and see if the dog is still there, hoping it wasn't. I got the money and went over and the dog was there, but the person who handles the dog was not, this was 10:30 Wednesday morning. I wait in my car listening to the radio until about 11:15, when my car battery dies. I call my mother ans ask her to come over and give my my car a jump.
 I get my car started before my mom arrives. I try to call her and she doesn't have her cell phone with her.
    The women finally shows up and is now cutting a dogs hair, I wait, there is nothing I have to do being out of a job for the last three months. My mom comes, hangs out for a few minutes, buys a couple of collars for her dogs and goes. I continue to wait.

  Finally after about an hour, she is done. She invites me behind the counter to meet the dog and proceeds to treat me like I am some virgin dog owner, who she needs to read the riot at to. I came in thinking she knew us from taking on Bandi after June died. She goes on about how this dog is going to need a lot of attention and she will chew on things so you need to do this and that. After a while, I'm asking myself why I'm still here. She eases up a bit and we start to talking and exchange a few stories. I tell her about Athena, how we rescued her. She asks what happened to her, like she expects that we killed her and buried her in the backyard dog cemetery.
  While waiting, I'd had time to check out the dog food she had., not unexpected it was expensive. She asks me what I feed our dogs, I know it is a trick question, but I can not see how. I answer Alpo. WRONG ANSWER!! Oh, that stuff is the worst. It is made with mostly water and meat by products, it makes them go to the bathroom a lot, effects their kidneys. Knowing that we are in the homestretch I ask what she has been feeding the dog., she says 'Blue'. I grab a large bag of it for fifty dollars and she throws in a couple of cans of blue and a few dog chews. I give her $300.00 for the dog and finally I'm out the door with Teri texting me whats going on, why is it taking so long. I text her back I have the dog.
  I put towels on the front seat and lay the dog there.We start to go and she immediately climbs into the next to an empty box I had there. (the picture above). I get her home and for the rest of the day I nurse maid the dogs to make sure they are getting along. Athena was nipping at Mesha's ear,Bandi was his usual grouchie self.
How the Dog got her name:

  When I got home I'd needed to call the dog something. We had just seen a movie called Bears and I thought that would be a good name. I knew Teri would not like it. So, I called her Bear.
  When everyone got home home it was naming time and I said I was calling her Bear and why. No one liked it. Then Teri asks what is Bear in Russian? While looking it up Nancy says in most Russian fairy tails bears are called Mesha, so she was called Mesha.

Kristen's Wedding

It seems like only yesterday, sorry Kristen, that I baby sat Kristen for the one and only time. She was old enough to talk, but still was still wearing Diapers .
  Now she is married and I feel no older then I did then, except for a few gray hairs, some would say more then a few, but I only got a few hairs and an extra thirty pounds I feel the same.

  The wedding was beautiful, the day, cold and over cast. The day before was warm and sunny, as was the day after. It didn't take anything away from a great wedding.
  They were wed at St. Anthony's old church, a very beautiful church. When ever there is a wedding in a Catholic Church the stories about lying to the Priest always start to circulate. To blow my own horn, I refused to lie to the Priest, so we didn't get married where Teri's parents got married, in Nyack. It was over the questions the Priest would ask. The one about will you raise your children as Catholics, I told Teri I would not, this was about the time of all the sexual allegations about Priest. If we ever renew our vows, I will raise any further children Catholic.
  The reception was at the Rockleigh Country Club, nice place, been there, done that before. Mike Marsico was married there in 1988

.
  We walked into the cocktail hour a little late. I could be happy with just the cocktail hour food, this was even better then normal. Elena and I hit the French Fry and slider station first. I then went to the calamari and other Italian food station. I should of quit there, but I went on.
  After the Cocktail hour we sat down to an abundance of food. There was bread and butter, there was more food then I can remember. I had a great steak, some chocolate covered Strawberries. So much food that I could not look at the wedding cake when they served it. It looked good, couldn't touch it. Best wedding I've been to in many a year.

Bronx Zoo and Dinner at Charlie Browns

  It is near the end of Easter vacation for the girls and I am dying to get back to the new old routine. So Teri decided it was time to try out the new Bronx Zoo membership.
  Yesterday we had lunch at Dave and Busters and let the girls run out all the chips we had acquired on several cards over the years.
  We left today and took a round about route to The Bronx Zoo. It was crowded and we got in at the Bronx River entrance. It was unusually cold, only 42 when we got there. It would top out at 48. We took in the Bird house first because it was warm and inside. Then we worked our way deeper into the Park ending up at the opposite corner sometime around three. We saw Baboons, Lions, almost Gorillas, Elk, and animals from Madagascar. It was busy and we covered a lot of ground and didn't see everything. We have a yearly membership, so it is free to go back. And We will.
  It was late and no one wanted to cook so we hit Charlie Browns and I ordered beer like I had a job. Food was good and everyone enjoyed themselves. Nastia had Salmon and Elena had Chicken fingers and French fries.

Revenge of the Teenage Mutant Ninja daughter or Does Father know best

It was a little before eight in the morning in Happyville when Teenage Mutant Ninja Daughter walks into the kitchen. Father knows best notices his daughter is dressed up and in black. He still sees his daughters as the little kids they were four years ago when they came over from Russia. Back then when they were asked if they wanted more and didn't like something they said "Oh, its good, no thank you." but that's another story.
  Kitten (another father knows best reference) goes to Papa, trying to divert attention from her short shirt over spandex " Don't You like the way I look.I'm dressed all in black." Father knows best has noticed, but not the short shirt, which is covered by a rain jacket type jacket ( If she was a flasher at least she'd have the right coat on) Father knows best looks her over and is about to tell her how pretty she looks when a hand darts out from behind her and gives a tug on a garment unseen until now. His eyes linger for a moment until he realizes she is wearing spandex and either forgot to put on a skirt or she is wearing a shirt that is too short for that outfit. Father knows best tries to play it cool, he still remembers being a teenager. He asks "Is that an outfit your mother made up or did you put it together?"

Athena questions why wear clothes if you wear that

  The Teenage Mutant Ninja daughter sees red lights go off around her, her sister is comforted in the knowledge it is not her wearing the clothes. Teenage Mutant Ninja daughter knows there could be trouble. She coyly replies "What outfit?" Father knows best repeats his question and she is trapped and out witted.    She plays her mother card but not really well, answering the question. Mommy bought this for me over the weekend.
  Father knows best senses something is not right and takes out his camera and snaps a picture of her and e-mails his wife. The Teenage Mutant Ninja daughter nervously pulls at her almost visible skirt.
  Father knows best finishes his e-mail and asks his daughter to turn around and bend over. Yes it is not polite to ask a teenage mutant ninja daughter to do this but when he sees nothing but butt the gig is up and Father knows best starts in on his "Your not going to school dressed like that speech". He peppers it with ' I still remember what it is to be a teenager. and I was young once.and You think you can handle boys until a two hundred pound boy has you pinned to the floor of the boys locker and there is no one around' and other classics like that. I know some might feel I am being too protective and demanding of my children, but I rather error on the side of safety then to regret it for the rest of my life. Go in peace,the mass is over.

Take My kids, please*

*For all you kids out there who don't get the reference, Henny Youngman was known for the catch line "Take my wife, no please take her." yea you got to be a Jewish vaudeville comedian to get a laugh from that joke.

Well it has been an interesting time here lately. I was recently unemployed, so I was having lunch at home about two in the afternoon, when my phone rings. It was Brian Clemente, a nice guy I have gotten to know over the last few years from Felix Festa Middle School. He is the dean of  punishment or something like that for students. Him and I have over the last few years talked about why one daughter or another was in need of detention. I know your shrieking right now not those little darlings!! Yes, those little darlings. They are not longer begging strangers for money in the streets of Nyack, usually they just tell me how much money I owe them. These Angels from heaven, (Is that what they call Russia these days in Crimea.) are getting into normal trouble like bring a knife to school or teasing a fellow student.
  The call from Mr Clemente involved a knife. It was a small two inch Swiss army knife that I had given Nastia, because she had wanted a knife and asked several times. The first thing I told her was  'DON'T BRING IT TO SCHOOL.' Well that was several months ago and the warning was not renewed, so it must not apply any more. SO SHE BOUGHT IT TO SCHOOL!! A teacher saw it when she showed it to a fellow student and she and the knife were sent to Mr Clemente's office. He called me and I expected him to say he has Elena in front of him and was surprised when he said Nastia. I groaned when he said she had bought a knife to school. He continued by saying she has made good progress over the years and I could come and pick up the knife at school. To say the least, I was not happy.
   Then I go back to lunch,I am eating a very good salad and reading an interesting book. I am chewing on a mouthful of salad when the phone rings again. Come on you knew it was going to happen. I figured it was a follow up to the knife issue, it wasn't. "Hi Mr. Muller this is Mr. Clemente again I have a problem with Elena... My Youngest has become a bully. She doesn't see it as being a bully. She says it is all in fun. The fun is four girls, with her in the lead teasing this one girl called Anna Lisa. This poor girl from what I have heard from the stories Elena has told seems like a train wreck. Elena considers her a friend and with friends like Elena this girl needs new friends. Elena related a story about how this girl wanted to better herself and her helpful friend said in a 2014 version for a Valley girl "Well, start with girl, a breath mint," Then Elena says something about deodorant and I stop her story and tell her she is not being a good friend.
  Mr Clemente relates how she walks by this girl in class and flips the girls book closed and this was the latest in a long line of what is considered bullying she has done. He gave me what the punishment would be and I said OK and she will be dealt with when she gets home.
  I once more go back to my lunch and as I am finishing it up, yep, you guessed it I get another phone call. This one is from Dr. Benjamin school psychologist and she would like to speak with Val and needs my permission.I had nothing better to do so I told her I would be there in ten minutes to sign the paper.
  When I get to the school we go into a conference room off the office to talk about the youngest. Dr Benjamin tells me how Elena leads with four other girls ganging up on this one new girl in class, Anna Lisa. The punishment has been soft up to now, but that was going o change. I tell her that whatever is the worst punishment for Elena needs to be the first punishment for her. She needs to understand that bullying is not tolerated by anybody. I don't want to hear my child is picking on anyone. In school I was teased in school and I will never allow my child to treat anyone like that.
  It was now twenty after three and he girls got out of school at 3:35, I waited. I asked the office have Elena meet me at the office before she went to bowling. When the bell rings I expect Elena to show up, I wait and I wait, Finally Nastia shows up and asks me why I am here. I tell her I am waiting for her sister and why did she bring a knife to school. She gives me that 'I don't understand what you are talking about' look that sets me off and I start in om her about how she was told not to bring a knife to school and how she now no longer owns a knife because she bought it to school. She starts in about how she just wanted to show it to someone when her sister comes into view. I say now that you got me going it's your turn and I look at Elena. I tell her to follow me and to move don't walk slow, which is what she does anyway.
  I calm down with the walk to the car. In side I tell her that she is a bully and it has to stop. We talk about the time in camp where the kids were teasing her and she called them 'garbage head' and they were bullies. How did it make you feel. During our talk Nastia keeps calling and I hang up not wanting to talk to her. It seems she alway needs to get into the middle of things with unimportant questions or problems. I take Elena to bowling. Teri and I talk about all of this and Elena loses her computer, her phone, her ipad and the x box for one week with promises of more if she doesn't stop.
  Take my kids, please.

55 inches all winter, so far...

  We have about five official weeks of winter left. There is an historic drought in California and we here in New York are at about 55 inches of snow, just short of the most ever recorded, in 1994-5.

  I remember 1994-5 only because the News predicted we would get three feet of snow. We lived in Nyack, on a small lot. I went out to Locks Hardware in Valley Cottage, just off the corner of Kings Highway and Lake Rd. there is a small shopping mall there now and bought a snow blower at the inflated price of $1,300.00 I justified it by the three feet of snow we were going to get and we did get it, big time. The drifts were up to the porch in the front of the house. This brand new horse of a snow blower made short work of the drifts, the driveway and sidewalk. Then I went around doing a number of neighbors sidewalks. That is where the expression came from, 'are you out blowing the neighborhood again?' .After all of that I walked the snow blower down the street to Catherine St. and Teri's parents house doing the sidewalk as I went. The Snow blower is still the one I have twenty years later.
 

The latest storm was predicted before we had the one that was coming in a day or two. On Saturday or Sunday February 8th or 9th the weather forecasters were talking about a storm that eventually fizzled out to nothing and they said there were several storms behind it. This was the first behind that storm. School was cancelled early on Wednesday for Thursday. Friday school was cancelled early on Thursday, giving the girls off for midwinter recess eleven days. 

They will make it up during Easter week. The snow storm started in the middle of the night. I got up around 2am and there was just a dusting on the roads and it looked like this one was going to fizzle too. It picked up in intensity mid-morning and kept going, changing over to rain mid-afternoon then it stopped long enough to clear the driveway, then it started back up dropping a few more inches on top of what was there. The fun of this storm was the ice that was under the snow. It made it impossible to clear larger areas then before the storm. As You can see from the pictures and the video the girls were lots of help clearing the driveway and clearing the snow off cars.

  My Birthday was about two and a half weeks ago. My daughters got me a card with their mother's blessing. I love it.

Quitting

When we first got the Girls to America, I was afraid they would not get to do things. I don't mean things like going to the Bronx Zoo or going to the beach. I was afraid they would not join in and become part of their school. I never joined any clubs or became part of a team. I didn't exist in school.
  The first month Nastia was at the middle school I talked to her about joining things and I thought she was afraid, like I was and would not join anything. I told her to look on the bulletin boards to find out when clubs and sports would start and where. She then asked, what was a bulletin board.

Maggiano's at the River Side Sq. Mall

   I remember the day she came home and said she wanted to join the volleyball team. Before I even knew the words had left my mouth I had said she was too small to join. Me, the guy who kept telling them not to let anything stop them from being what they want to be in this world. I might of even said it twice. I was happy that she still tried out for volleyball. I admire them both for all the hard work they put in trying to learn all the things they have never experienced before.
  As it turns out I didn't have to worry about the Girls missing out on activities through the school. Volleyball was just the start. That year Elena joined the play Annie and it was the first time I witnessed her not trying. She was late joining the play and she would sit around talking to friends as if nothing important was going on. She did Karate with her sister to that year I think. She wanted to quit before the term she agreed to was over, we would not let her. She went to every class required, but quit trying a long time before it ended.

Snow storm just after this posting

  When they joined wrestling last year, she spent the whole time fooling around and talking. She never paid attention to the coach and she came within a few seconds of winning her final match.
  This year Nastia wanted to join bowling. I asked her sister if she wanted to go to. Nastia got all upset saying she wanted this to be her thing to do by herself. I could understand, but her sister had been asked and said yes and she had agreed not to fool around and be a distraction.
  Elena started the season the better bowler. Somewhere by the end of September she would just go up and chuck the ball down the lane. Not waiting for her ball, she would grab another one and as soon as the pins were set the ball would fly. She would turn around and walk away without looking.
  About a month ago she texts me from the bus home that she forgot it was bowling day and was headed home. Right away I knew what it was. I ordered her off the bus and on to the bus for bowling. She was smarter then that. Her didn't call until the bus had left the school. She then got the next two weeks off for Christmas vacation.
    In the middle of the today, I remember it is bowling Monday. Thinking they will forget I text them both. Of  course Elena replies to my text during school, which is not allowed saying OK, then she asks when can she quit bowling like she did Karate. I begin to write her back, then stop. This requires a face to face talk.
   At the bowling alley I call her over and we sit down in two chairs away from everyone else. I am unhappy she wants to quit bowling. Not because I enjoy bowling, but again she wants to quit something. I try to explain to her how if she is quitting things now life only gets tougher and she will not be able to quit things when she gets older. I told her if in the future she wants to have a baby and after to years the baby is not so much fun she can't just throw up her arms and say I quit. She has to finish things she starts and if in the future she is tired of her job and wants to quit, well then she doesn't get to eat.
  I told her she should take some pride in doing the best job she can and maybe that would make it a little easier to do. Work at it and maybe you might even get better at it.
   She is so much like me, I hate talking to myself.

Christmas Memories past and present

There is this cookie called a chocolate pinwheel. You need to find a cookie book from the nineteen-sixties called Betty Crocker Cooky book. In it are loads of cookie recipes. There is even a cookie that is just butter and chocolate. You take graham cracker crumbs top them with butter and chocolate. No wander there is an obesity crisis. I made it once, it was wonderful. In this cookie book is a recipe called Chocolate Pin wheels.

 It has nothing to do with Christmas, the three wise men didn't eat them as they crossed the dessert, and god didn't send them to the Israelites as they wandered through the dessert. But, I only make them at Christmas and only eat them before Christmas. Some how they have become my Christmas Cookie. I remember my mom making them during the holidays along with several other cookies with longer memories and others with better tastes. I love Chocolate Chip cookies better. I remember making roll out cookies when younger and I have eaten cookie press cookies for ever.
   The Classic Cooky Book by Betty Crocker was first printed in the early nineteen-sixties. On the inside cover my mom wrote the recipe for the roll out cookies that we would make for the first decade of our lives. The cookie press cookies were from the cookie press how to pamphlet.
  There is nothing better about these cookies then other cookies. It is just the memories that come flooding back as you make them. I can remember making cookies, all four of us, yes four kids, all self absorbed in their own lives and wanting to make cookies while their mother tried to keep all of us happy. And yes she did. The roll out cookies were simple. We were each given a blob of dough and some flour and cookie cutters, and oh yes, an empty cookies sheet. You would roll out the dough and use the cookie cutters to shape you treasures. They would be moved to the cookie sheet and lightly brushed with whipped egg white. Then some sprinkles and into the oven they would go. Seven minutes or so later out would come these paper thin or not delicious cookies that you had made.

Christmas trees and stars, rolled too thick become the delicious cookie blob

   Growing up my mom never did this with her family and just like reading to us at night when we were young, no one knows where these ideas came from. they have become family traditions, at least with me or at least I have tried to...
   This is where all that back story above becomes relevant. Yesterday, was Sunday. I had a list of things I wanted to do. Work on the attic, plaster the hall wall, add heat to Amanda's room and I also wanted to make memories with my daughters.
  Saturday, all day Elena and mostly Nastia spent the day playing on x-box live. I don't like them doing that, but I let them. I started making cookies around noon. I called Elena to make some roll out cookie dough. After she was done, we put it in the refrigerator to cool until I could find the cookie cutters. Next Nastia and I make roll out cookie dough and put it in the refrigerator to cool until I found the cookie cutters. I never found them, I must of given them back to my mom. I thought I had bought a box of them and that was why I gave them back. I must of given them back before the girls were even a thought figuring that I would never have a use for them. And I guess I never bought the cookie cutters for the same reason.

Elena being good for Christmas!!

  I searched the house top to bottom and never found them. I went on to other cookies and the girls went back to x-box and an afternoon of memories that I wanted never got too far off the ground.
  I want so much for our girls and there is not enough time to do it. I want memories of us doing things. I want them to remember the time I told them, as I rush up stairs that I heard Santa Claus and they better get to bed and the time I told them about the time I fell asleep in my chair in Nyack on Christmas eve and woke up to find Santa Claus in our house putting present under the tree. What I'm afraid of is they will remember all the times I yelled at them like a manic and said things that I didn't mean. The time is so short before they are completely out of our world and are more interested in their boyfriends and going out to Christmas parties and doing things with their friends then their parents.
   The cookie dough the girls made the other day, Teri insisted in making cookies tonight. Nastia helped, Elena wasn't interested. She watched TV. It is already starting to happen with her.
  It was fun sorta to make cookies. Teri started with Nastia, without me. I walk in and she is using two sheets of wax paper and a rolling pin to smooth the dough. It was a good idea except the dough would of stuck to the cookie cutters. I grabbed a corner of the dough, it was very sticky and I kept adding flour and the cutters would stick and Teri would offer a string of ideas and I'm thinking why is this dough sticking, it was never like this when I was a kid. So I kept adding more and more flour. Teri and Nastia started making the cookies thick and for some reason I knew you should not do that, but could not remember why. So I started making them thick too. It was easier and it worked. When them came out we had created the cookie blob and it was going to take over the world.

Christmas Houses 2013

My Mom started this tradition just a few years ago. This is another of those when we were young stories. When we were young my mom used to bake cookies with us. She would make roll out cookies that we would use cookie cutters then spread some egg white on and add sprinkles. There were also the cookie press ones. You would fill the cookie press, put in a shape, a camel, a Christmas tree, a reindeer and so on and out would come cookies shaped like it. Then the egg white and sprinkles.
  This all ended when a large group of people got together and tried to bake cookies. I thought it went well, my mom was not pleased.

  She came up with the idea of decorating cookie houses. I was not a big fan, it seemed like a lot of work for her and I didn't think people would go for it. I was wrong, it has become a big hit. This year their were twenty-five people at my mom's. Plus she did for the Rockland Center for the Arts about twelve and she gave six spare houses to her neighbor Greg, who will invite five of his sons friends over to do houses. And she had a small gathering of her friends over for some Adult house decorating.
   It Snowed the day before we were to do the houses and the roads got sloppy, but seemed to clear by the time we were to do houses. I thought people might stay away, they did not. Some arrived a little late and some, like Elena's friend Jessica arrived very late. Everyone grabbed a house. The variety this year was beyond all previous years.

Teri got to do an apartment house. The Girls got regular houses to do. Elena wanted a new house because corners of the roof kept breaking off. Both Girls did some nice houses.
   About two in the afternoon we ordered six pizzas and after clean up we all went home around six that night. And of course we were hungry before eight and made snacks before bed.  Lots of fun.

Christmas blues

I knew it was going to happen. I have felt it in my bones for years and it finally happened this past Sunday. The death of my Father's Christmas ornament. I don't know how old it was or even the history around it. I supplied that in my imagination when my mother gave it to me about a dozen years ago.

  The mythology I invented went something like this. It was bought by my grandfather in the nineteen-twenties, when he was happy with his wife and didn't drink too much. He had a job and life was pretty good.
   Or maybe it was an ornament off the tree at Uncle Willie's house, where my Dad stayed for a while during the depression and he took this box of ornaments from his house after his Uncle died in the late fifties to remind him of if not a great man a good man who was the rock of his family, who was always there when he was needed by his parents or by his nieces or nephews.
  I remember the ornaments hanging on our trees during the nineteen-sixties.

They would hang with the cheap plastic ornaments that I now treasure, the ones filled with all the Christmas memories of growing up waiting for my dad to come back off the route to open presents. Or the time I stood in the doorway of my room at two in the morning while CBS played a Christmas Carol over and over on the TV, my Dad asleep in the chair. Or the time, I was very young, Bonanza was still on, it was a Christmas Sunday and had gone to bed, but couldn't sleep. I came out to my mother sitting on the floor cleaning up, her asking the usual "Why are You up?", me crawling into her lap and telling her I felt bad that her and Daddy got nothing for Christmas, Her saying that they got enough and it was OK.
  These are the memories that were in that ornament, which will now be in the ornaments like the bird that has been on every tree as far back as I can remember, as well as the cheap plastic nineteen-sixties ornaments that I now love.
  I even have a collection of Hallmark ornaments that have memories of when I first moved out of my parents house after my Dad died and I lived up in Stony Point. Every

Hallmark ornament that has to do with Mickey or I love Lucy or the Wizard of Oz is filled with memories of Teri and I, when we lived in Nyack and life seemed easier, a little simpler. We weren't so old back then.
  Christmas is filled with so many memories, some like the girls first Christmas were magical. I have a video of it.
  I guess I will get over the death of the ornament. I even took pictures of it in case it were to happen. When it did it was just like I thought it would happen. Someone was anxious to put up decorations on the tree and it's hook caught the one that was being picked up, it went up just high enough to clear the box, that was sitting on the floor. I heard it shatter and even before I looked,

 I knew what had happened. I didn't get mad, I kind of just sagged and went to get the broom. Teri ever the one to take care of bad situations cleaned it up and I just got lost. I was told several times how sorry they were and I know they were. It was an accident, sad but true and it could of happened at anytime. It was just it's time to die. Just as it wasn't it's time when Teri's cat toppled the tree in Nyack. It survived while several of Teri's ornaments didn't. Again it was just it's time, just like it will all be our time someday.

Thanksgiving 2013 through to Nastiafest edition fifteen

Thanksgiving this year was small, just six people. Eric and Lynn had just eight and there was a thought to combine the two, but it is nice to celebrate the holidays at home even though you have to clean up afterwards. We did agree to go over their house around six to have dessert. I hadn't made anything so we bought over a bottle of champagne.
   Teri and Nancy aimed for dinner at two. They bought it in a little late and right on Muller time. For all of you who don't know, Muller time is about an hour or so after the time you said it would happen. So a two O'clock dinner time would be right on the money at three, three-thirty. We finished eating a little after four, four -thirty. I did the same thing to Elena my parents did to us kids when we were young, I made her sit at the table and talk to other people after she finished eating. She was not pleased as I was never pleased. After a few minutes she started talking and I think she enjoyed herself.
   After Dinner we cleaned and about six we went over to Lynn and Eric's. The girls enjoy going over to see their cousins and see Grammy. The fact that Billy and Denis have the best game room they have ever seen doesn't hurt. They played x-box over x-box live and played with Ryan in Florida. They played for a couple of hours. A visit that was supposed to be short ended around nine-thirty.
  It was nice to have a day off in the middle of the week. Usually I would take Friday off too, but I am only with Cream-O-Land dairy for a little over six weeks after Consolidated went out of business.
  Nastiafest 2013 was a Tuesday and Teri left for work before seven. She kissed Nastia happy birthday and went to work. I got the girls up at their usual time for school, 7:30, wishing the birthday girl a good day. Nastia ever the pan-handler told several teachers it was her birthday and she told me later some gave her money. The bus driver, she said gave her five dollars.
   Teri and I made a special effort to get home early and the four of us with Nancy, Amanda and Grammy all went out to The Hard Wok to have Chinese food. We sat in one of the backrooms and ate and Nastia opened presents. It ended around eight-thirty. That was Tuesday.
   Over the weekend the girls were bored. I wanted them to go outside and do something besides play x-box on line all day. They hung around on the north lot, sat on the still unfinished tree house, all that fun stuff you do when your parents tell you to go outside and get some exercise. A few days earlier I had thrown some pumpkins from the garden that I had never gotten around to making pumpkin pies out of back into the garden. Once a pumpkin freezes it can't be used. I got a bright idea. I took a battery operated saw outside and grabbed the stick Elena was holding. Without saying a word I cut it to the length of a baseball bat. I looked at her and said "don't you remember what happens when you two have sticks in our hands?" For all of you who are guessing the first month we had the girls Elena hit Nastia with a big stick and Nastia needed several stiches.
  It was time for Pumpkin baseball. The brand new sport where they serve you up these big fat balls to hit, sorta, well there not real balls, there pumpkins a little larger then softballs. Elena got up first and got three swings, fouling off a few. Then Nastia got up and she did the same. At this point I tell them I will show you how to do it. On the first pitch from Elena, she serves up this big orange target, high and dead center over the plate. Thirty years ago I would of parked that in the neighbor yard after it bounced off their house or at least splattered it all over my children, here I foul tip it. I put my eyes back into my head and tell her to do that again. Well you can't go home again especially thirty years later. Everyone gets several tries until we are throwing chunks of pumpkin at the batter. Elena got ahold of one or two and splattered them. Nastia and I fouled off a few and maybe got a single or two when we connected it was a fun few minutes. When we were do I let them go inside and play x-box for the rest of the day. They had gotten their exercise.

It rained, but it didn't snow or Nor'easter

When I heard it was going to rain on Halloween 2013 I thought that it was not fair three years in a row bad weather. Teri pointed out that they are not made of sugar and would not melt, she was right they didn't.
   The night started after I got home from work. The girls were ready to go. I was waiting for their mother to get home. They asked if they could go local and I thought why not. They went to the corner to Luke's house, then they went over to Laurens house ( in the back to the right) then over to Ann and Bills (back to the left) all of this on the run, so much energy and joy. It made me feel sad that they had missed out on so much in their first years of their life. The more I watched them run from house to house with that joy for life that I remember once having, the more I wished they had been here for all of their lives.

Then I thought they could of never come here and experienced any of this. Then I came out of the romantic haze I was in and noticed they were criss-crossing the street and not looking for cars, so I started walking down the center of the street telling them to watch as they crossed the street until they heard me. By then Teri was home and it was time to go to North Broadway in Nyack. We were there a few years ago and it was like Halloween was, or was always supposed to be in the fog of my memories.

  We walked up Broadway doing the eastern side streets until we reached Castle Heights Ave in Upper Nyack, We then turned around and went back to the car. It was almost 9pm by then, we ate dinner at the West Gate Motel in the empty restaurant. Food was OK. We got home before 10pm and most everyone was in bed at a reasonable hour.
   I forgot We went to the Stony Point Haunted House the day before.
   It was off exit 14 on the Palisades near the Park in a garage run be four or five twenty something guys that put a lot of time and effort into it. The side yard of the house was a grave yard. We spent a few minutes in the grave yard while they got ready. There was no crowd, but people did wander in as we left.
   Elena lead, because she was not afraid. After a ghoul jumped out at her she handed the light and the lead to Nastia, who really didn't want it. The trip through the haunted house lasted only a few minutes was a lot of fun.

Halloween without a storm, what will we do!!

Last year their was the super storm, I think it was called Sandy which knocked down trees and flooded homes and some are still feeling it a year later. The year before there was snow on Halloween. This year they are predicting rain. The poor Girls haven't had a regular Halloween in three years and I think it rained on that one or at least rained when we went to the Nyack Halloween parade. Maybe that was the first year.
 

This past weekend we went to Vernon N.J. to a farm that had all kinds of things to do. The place was Hungry heart or something like that, I really don't remember. We got there about one-thirty. When we left the house I thought a jacket would be too much. I forgot Vernon N.J. is up in the hills enough that it is cooler and when the wind kicks up it can be cold even if it is nice back home which is what it was.
   The first thing we do when we get there is have something to eat. I wasn't hungry, but when I smelled the French fries and noticed the hot dogs, well ten dollars or so later I had a nice little lunch.

It was windy and the wind was cool that French fries that were to hot to eat at the beginning were cold by the end. They were still good. The brand was or-I-da frozen French fries, a good brand. We then went to get our tickets for the rest of the place. That included a haunted house, some kiddie rides, a game where you got to shot tennis balls from a giant sling shot into a net. There were some animals to look at like pigs and rabbits and Little chicks, and there was the corn maze. We stood through an introduction of what it was all about. The guy said it could take anywhere from a half hour to an hour. We went in with Elena being the navigator and having the map.

We went up a hill and around several bends and it got to wearing thin very quickly. We hit three of the, oh I don't know maybe six or eight stations when we stumble on the entrance. We decide to continue on. but a little while later it starts to get a little colder and it is after all almost four in the afternoon by now and we had not taken the hay ride. Nancy had noticed the green tape was the tape that was at the exit so when we found it we found our way out and we then went over to the hay ride.

It was a short bumpy ride to a field full of pumpkins you could buy, which we told the girls we couldn't. We really didn't want to spend the money. On the walk back to the tractor and the trailer Elena kept trying to get me to race her and I would say ready, set, go she would run and I wouldn't. The driver of the tractor saw this and invited her to ride up in the cab with him. I then invited Nastia to join her. They each got a chance to drive the tractor and it was the highlight of the day for them I think. I couldn't get a video (oh, how 20th century of me) of the girls because of the bumps in the road I tried but got nothing good.

  After that we went home and had dinner. The girls were hoping to go to a free haunted house in Stony Point but I was too tired to go. A Guy was handing out flyer's at the Nyack Halloween parade, which to me has become one of those traditions that you do only because you once did it and it was fun. You don't know why you do it now. I know You are dieing for me to explain.
 
The parade has become overly crowded. The Police don't keep the crowds from moving out onto the street. If You start the night by getting there over an hour early and setting up a front row seat, by parade time you are four rows back if you are lucky. Last year they handed out candy. A person put a piece of candy in Nastia's hand, a fat load of rolly polly s... of a girl about ten or so grabbed it out of her hand. It's not like it was this huge candy bar, it was what they call 'bite size', about as small as you can get and still be considered a piece of candy. It was so small that neither Teri or I could fight for it. Now I wish we had, because it is a year later and it galls to think we did not stand up for our daughter. At the time we figured the little monster had far worse problems then a sever lack of manors and most likely friends or parent who knew how to raise a child that is fit to wander off her leash. At this years parade we got there about ten minutes before it was supposed to start stood in an open spot, found Jim and Phyllis and talked to them until the parade started and then watched it from afar. The inventive costumes and great marching bands were few and far between. There was a Chinese dragon which with a little effort from the people manning it could of been fun. There were a few tall costumes on sticks which were fun and then there was the roller derby skaters I enjoyed. The best had to be the Trojan horse, all hand made it looked like. What was a big turn off were the large groups of people with little or no make up and costume on and the large breaks between sections. The parade needs to be smoother and better organized. Yes I could do it but everyone would be jealous of me...

I did have something to say when I sat down...

I had a purpose when I sat down here a little while ago. Then I started reading some of the past blogs I have written. I get great joy from it and always wish I'd written more. Sometimes the story I tell feels very human. I'm not patting myself on the back here for the fun of it. I do truly enjoy reading about the times we were in Russia and the trips we took and the frustrations of being a parent and it is reassuring that we all have survived, as I pray we all will through the current problems. We solve our problems, move on create new ones and look back on the old one like old friends.
  I remember as a kid the cold war, it was the east against the west and it was like that for as long as I'd been alive. Then the wall fell and East Germans were streaming over the border where you used to hear about people risking their life and some getting killed. Then the Soviet Union fell apart and the world was a magical new place where anything was possible in that moment. It must of felt like this after World War I and World War II and even after the Civil War. But then history started moving again and President Lincoln gets shot, the great depression happens and the cold war starts. The same thing with the Berlin wall coming down. There was no peace dividend. Suddenly we are in a war with religious extremist, inside and outside of the country. I won't rattle on about my views of these awful people.
   I have emptied my soul and uncovered the original reason for this blog. We received this e-mail recently

Dear CHAC Birobidjan Families:

 

Cradle of Hope is beginning to investigate the possibility of a Homeland Tour next summer for families with adopted children from Birobidjan.  Our first step is to assess how much interest there would be in a 7 – 10 day trip sometime in late June, likely right after school ends in the US.  We are expecting at least one parent to travel with their child on this trip.

 

We will meet in NY or Washington DC for a direct flight to Moscow. We will build in a day or two for sightseeing in Moscow on the way to Biro or on the way back to the US.  The group will spend three or four days in Biro for visits to children’s orphanages, sightseeing, and participation in humanitarian aid projects. 

 

Our very preliminary and rough estimate of the cost of the trip, including airfare, hotel accommodations, meals, ground transportation, sightseeing, translation services, and visas  is $5000 - $5500 per person.  Once we have an idea of the number of travelers, we will work on providing more concrete estimates.

 

If you are potentially interested in this trip, please respond to the questions below and return to me no later than October 10^th.

 

Names and ages of family members who would travel:  ________________________________________­­________________

 

What orphanage(s) was your child(ren) from:  ________________________________________________________________

 

Could your family offer any specialized skills for humanitarian projects--planting, carpentry, painting, music/art, medical aid, etc? (Specify):

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Could you travel:    June 21-28  _______       June 28-July 5  ________      Other Dates (Specify) ______________________

 

Does anyone in your family speak fluent Russian?  ____________________________________________________________

 

Please respond no later than October 10.  Thank you.

 

 

Patrice Gancie

Director

Bridge of Hope

As soon as I saw this forward from Teri I wanted to go. Affording it is another matter. We will give it the old College try as they used to say.
  I have always wanted to go back and bring the girls back to the place they spent the first part of their life. I just wonder if it will live up to their memories. My guess is it will seem smaller then they remember it and dirtier. Teri and I will say it hasn't changed or it is nicer then it was. Memories are a strange thing. I was even thinking about a side trip to Obluchia where Elena's grandmother* lives or lived. That one is the really scary one. What type of reception would her Americanized granddaughter get. Would we open up a can of worms and maybe really mess with Elena's head? Would Nastia feel left out not being related to her. Would we get hassled by her for the job we have done raising Elena or would she just hit us up for money? Could be maybe she would not want to see us because she was so poor she could not afford to keep her granddaughter? We always make new problems to replace the ones we have solved. *10/11/2023) Back when this was written, I thought when Elena talked about her grandmother, the women was not Nastia's too. After reading paperwork about the early years of their life the reason Elena calls her, her grandmother is Nastia was put in a type of foster care while her and Elena's mother tried to bond with her new daughter at their grandmother's home. There was a hope after a few months Nastia would rejoin the other two. It didn't work out and Elena was eventually sent to the same home Nastia was in. Nastia used to talk about how she spent time seperated from her sister.