We lost Athena on Tuesday.

On a May day in 2010, Teri says, “We have to get the girls a puppy.” What she meant was there was a white dog is western New Jersey she wanted. So we drove at least an hour to a pet adoption event Teri’d seen, in the paper or online, somewhere, I don’t remember where.

We’d had the girls about seven months by then and we had just Kodi as a pet. I don’t remember what town it was, only that it was in western New Jersey. Teri wanted the white dog and her name was Athena. Someone had decided to adopt her before we arrived. Teri was disappointed. We began looking at another dog. I think it was an all black version of Athena. The dog was beautiful, but Teri had her heart set on the ‘white one’. I took a picture of the black dog because we were going to adopt her. Just before we went forward with it the people looking at Athena backed out. Somehow we found out and we adopted her. I don’t often wonder what happened to that other dog. Not like Annya and Leonid, the two kids from Russia, who didn’t want to be adopted by us.

I have pictures of Athena walking in the grass outside the adoption center and in the car, in Teri’s arms. At that point it should have been obvious the dog was Teri;s and no one else's.

There was an incident, well to be truthful there were several incidents when Athena was young when she chewed on the expensive sofa Teri and I purchased in the early 2000’s when we thought we had money. I went ape-shit and yelled at her. I scared her pretty badly. She didn’t trust me for many years after that. I went out of my way in the last years of her life to make it up to her. She’d been cowed to staying on the couch by Mesha’s bullying and I realized how wrong I’d been to her and how now she was a prisoner in her own house because of Mesha.

Athena’s sins toward me were unintended. She is the reason my ah … well lets just say. I slept on one side of the bed, Teri on the other and Athena was between us for the last almost fourteen years. Bandi was June’s dog before she died. We got Bandi when Teri’s father decided he didn’t have the strength to take care of him. A few years later in 2014 Misha came along. In the beginning Misha and Athena were friendly. They play tug-a–war with a pull toy. I remember the day Athena stopped playing. All I saw was Athena dropping the pull toy. I didn’t know Athena and Misha had become rivals. Several fights happen over the year. Two bad ones come to mind. One of the early ones happened in the dining room and I wasn’t present for it. There seemed to be blood everywhere after it was over. The blood came from Misha having bitten her tongue in the fight. The second one, We’d put a shock collar on Misha. When they got into a fight, again I wasn’t home. I told Nastia to shock Misha to stop the fight. Misha associated the shock with Athena and bit her up worse than usual. Bandi died this past February of 2023. Misha and Athena seemed to get along better. Athena gained the courage to attempt to get off the couch to get water and to hang around Teri.

In the fall of 2023. Athena and the stairs to the second floor had quit being friends. Athena would battle going up the stairs. As the weather cooled, she became more reluctant. By the New Year, I was carrying her up the stairs. She was heavy. Her back was boney, her legs were sticks, but her belly was large and oddly solid. She had energy and often acted like a happy puppy, dancing in to the kitchen from outside or coming into the kitchen from the couch for her evening treat. On Tuesday around 4AM, Athena woke me up. She moved from facing the foot of the bed to the head of the bed. I don’t like her near the top of the bed because of the hair. She’s done this several times the last few months, so I pushed her away. Teri wakes up and says we should just let them out and she’ll stay down stairs because once she is awake, she can’t go back to bed. I bring Misha downstairs so there will not be any possibility of a fight between the two. This is the way it’s been done for years. I let Misha out. I hear Teri cry and run back to the stairs and ask her what is wrong. She says Athena can’t walk. If I’d had a chance to think I’d have thought, she’s just slipped and can’t get up. She’s old and it’s happened before. This time was different. I get up stairs and pick her up and stand her on her feet, but her legs can’t support her weight. I brought her downstairs, maybe outside then or a little later, I don’t remember. When she is outside she can almost stand. She pees and takes a crap. I carry her inside and put her on the couch. I want her to be in her safe spot. It’s 4 AM, we talk about what happened. I think she had a stroke. Her brow keeps moving and her eyes move like she is suspecting an attack and is on guard for it. Teri decides we can’t put her down in an emergency animal hospital. She wants Athena to be in the vets office we've gone to for 30+ years, so we wait.

The website says they open at 8 AM. I called at 8, again at 8:01 and 8:03, no answer. I leave a message during one of the calls. I say it looks like our dog has had a stroke and we will most likely have to put ehr down. Can I have the earliest appointment possible? The vet opens at 9 AM. I get a call shortly after 9 and the tech says we can have 2:15. I ask, can’t they do better? No, the vet says 2:15 is the best they can do. Around 2 in the afternoon my resolve has completely evaporated and I have to force myself to get going again. I carry Athena and put her in the back seat of the car while Teri distracts Misha, who never acts well when left alone. Teri sits with Athena in the back of the car as we take a slow ride down the street. At the vet's office I carry Athena in and I'm led to an examination room immediately, Teri parks the car. The vet says the eyes should be able to be cured. I wonder if that is a good idea. The vet says x-rays and blood work are needed first. The results are not good. Athena had a solid belly every night when I picked her up. I knew she had stick thin legs. The solid stomach was part of a tumor she had that has spread to her liver and brain. It would be best to put her down. The vet gives us some time with Athena. After that she is given a sedative and a few minutes later she goes to sleep. It’s never pleasant when you lose a pet this one is extra hard on Teri because she has lost her heart. There are many days before when she would call Athena, her heart, and what am I gonna do when I lose you. Everyone knows days like this are coming and we still adopt dogs. They kill us and we always come back for more. When Kodi died, I swore I never wanted to go through that again. Athena came alone several months after her death before I was ready and was still angry about Kodi dying. I took my anger out on her and then spent the last few years of her life trying to make it up to her. I’m not proud of that. She forgave me after a while as most dogs will do and eventually even began to almost trust me. How we treat dogs shows the world a window into our soul I believe. They will always forgive and believe in you and it’s up to us to earn that.

Middle of January and it's a lot of nothing going on.

It’s January 13th, almost the middle of the month and very little is going on. It is so common, so average, so we did this yesterday that I’ll end up talking about the weather and people's jobs.

The weather: We got our fist snow storm this past week. Ten or more years ago, that wouldn’t be an event, it’s, oh, that was expected, but with global warming snow storms are becoming rarer and rarer. Back when I was a kid you’d get the occasional snow storm just before Christmas. If you didn’t you’d definitely get snow by now, and it would stay. This storm we got maybe 3-4 inches. Port Jervis, in the upper left hand corner of Orange County, in the mountains, they got 13 inches. Within the week we got another storm, this one swept across the states from the Seattle, Washington area and washed all the snow away. We got temperatures in the 50’s, not supposed to happen. It was accompanied by wind. I was in bed hoping the tree on the western end of the north lot didn’t come crashing down into a house. A week later, the same type of storm with a little less rain. I guess that’s the usual now.

Elena is still working at Caliper Tire. She is really enjoying herself there. It’s just a job without a future, even with her sister sleeping with the future boss, Sean. She wakes up at around 7:35 most days and rolls out of the house shortly after that. She has Thursdays off and can sleep as late as she wants. She works Saturday, but on Sunday she seems to want to break records for the longest time asleep in bed. I let her sleep this past Sunday and she got up after 4 PM. What a waste of a day. She’d insist it was the best use she could put to a day. We haven’t seen Matt around much lately. Sometimes Elena seems in a mood. It could be her normally being herself or she could have problems with Matt. She runs errands for him and then there are times she seems to act as if he doesn’t exist. This all may be nothing. I heard Teri ask Sean if he knew if he knew anything, He didn’t. She likes to go out drinking on Saturday nights. Matt is so … about his chosen career, law enforcement, he doesn’t go out and drink, or maybe I have it wrong and he just doesn’t drink. Either way he doesn’t go out with her when she drinks. He also doesn’t like it when she drinks Mountain Dew because of the caffeine level. She’s been drinking a lot of Mountain Dew lately. One day she'll either bring him home or she'll bring someone else home. Either way we (I) won't know until it happens.

Christmas is here, wasn't it just Halloween yesterday?

I know it's old hat by now, but as you get older time seems to move quicker.I work a job for the last year and a half where at the end of Monday I say, “one down four to go.” and on Tuesday, I say and let's all say it together, “two down, three to go.” This goes on until Friday afternoon where at five PM I’ll declare, “Well that’s a wrap! Have a nice weekend.” At this job, I live for the weekends. It’s not a hard job, so I really hope it is the last job I’ll ever need to have. Way back in August when the nights had started to get cool and the days were still warm, I remember thinking, “Well Christmas will be here soon enough.” I didn’t think it would get here in the length of what seemed just over a week.

It’s Christmas morning at quarter to ten. I’ve been awake and out of bed since around eight. Teri and I were woken up twice, once at 6:40 when I forgot to turn off my alarm and again at 7 AM when I forgot to turn off my back up alarm for work.

This is the part of the blog where I lament how the girls would wake up all excited that Santa has left them presents and they run down stairs to see what he’s bought them. I’m sure if I woke Elena up now (remember it’s 10 AM) she’d tell me in her best Christmas leave me the f… alone voice, I have my alarm set for 4 PM!! Nastia would moan and groan about it being too early to open gifts up and to go away. And this is the part of the blog where I reminisce about the first time I didn’t get up early for Christmas and Eric comes to my room telling me it’s Christmas and to come on. I think I moaned and groaned the same way Nastia did. I guess God listened to my mom when she said I hope you have children who are just like you. Around 10 AM or so everyone starts to wander downstairs. Sean first, Nastia second and finally Elena. Elena is cheery for herself and for it being before noon on a day she doesn’t have to get up. And yes it’s mostly just a facade with her to hide the part of her away from people who can hurt her.Then there is the seriously annoying part of her that causes you to think, because you don’t want to say it out loud, well, based on what I just said I can’t tell you what it is…

Everyone gathers in the front living room. I sat on the couch toward the street with Misha, who claimed that place unknown years ago. Teri removes the Santa my mom made from the rocker and takes what is becoming her usual seat. Nastia and Sean on the other couch, I think Elena joins them Nancy pulls a rocker in from the family room. Presents are distributed. Teri is very touched when Elena buys her a new Apple watch. I am greatly surprised when a big 55” box in the middle of the room turns out to be a 55” TV for me. Teri and I set it up in the family room and it is too big for the TV stand. A little Rube Goldberg and it fits the stand until we can get a mount for the wall. While helping Teri make dinner , Teri facetimed Ruth and we wished her a merry Christmas and afterwards I called Karl to wish him a Merry Christmas. Dinner is a Beef rib roast, it came out medium rare and was excellent. I made roasted potatoes but couldn't find Russett’s which brown up better, so I used Eastern. They crusted over pretty well, but because of the lower starch level, they didn’t brown. I mixed them in olive oil with salt, pepper, garlic, onion and white pepper. I overdid it a bit, but they were still good. Roasted potatoes are almost alway good Around 3:30 Sean and Nastia headed for Orange County again to share Christmas with his mom and sister. Around 5PM Eric calls and the remains of our party head over to Eric and Lynns for dessert. A few last gifts were exchanged and we all sat around watching movies and talking. It was nice to get together like we used to pre-Covid, and pre having dinner at our house.

Christmas Cookies, putting up the tree and making raviolis

I grew up cooking and making home made things. Sure, my mom served us boxed Kraft macaroni and cheese. I ate it and loved it. Some of my earliest memories are making roll out cookies with first my brother, Karl and I then later Ruth and Eric joining in.

For those who don’t know, roll out cookies are a sugar cookie batter that is simple to make. The tough part is getting the dough easy to handle. As a young kid we’d add flour and reroll the dough oblivious to the effect the extra flour had on the cookie.

After you roll it out, you use cookie cutters of different shapes and sizes, pressing them into the dough. With a clean spatula, you’d slide it under the future cookies careful not to ruin the shape of the cookie. Once on the cookie sheet, a little egg wash, then the sprinkles. When the sheet is full, into the oven it goes. About eight minutes later, cookies heaven.

Over the years my cookie making ability has broadened and somewhere along the line a particular cookie, the Pinwheel cookie has come to symbolize Christmas for me. It's annoying to make, not really that tasty, but full of Christmas memories. A cookie Teri has repeatedly said, “Why do you make that?” For some reason Nastia loves it too. I only make the Pinwheel cookies in December.

The Pinwheel cookie recipe is found in a Betty Crocker cookie book from the 60’s my mom had. One November several years ago I found a copy of the book in a cooking store closing and I picked it up. It is filled with cookies chocked full of sugar and butter. It’s a wonder we’re all still alive. To make the dough, the usual sugar, butter, vanilla, flour and eggs. Then the dough needs to rest. It’s really sticky and impossible to roll out. Half the dough is flavored with melted chocolate. Since I double the dough I make two separate batches and flavor one batch with chocolate. After the dough has rested it rolled out flat between waxed paper sheets. If you are lucky or adventurous you peel the waxed paper off one side and lay one on the other, if not you put it in the refrigerator until it cools. Later you roll it up, cut it a little thick is better, cook it and again it’s cookie heaven.

I baked all Sunday afternoon by myself until Elena got up around 3PM (yes 3 PM!) I asked if she wanted to help me with the roll out cookies. Not being an eight year old any more I’d lost touch with how to make them. Everytime I’d try to remove the cookie from the surrounding dough, I’d change Santa from a jolly elf into some sort of howling ghoul, more suited to Halloween than Christmas. Elena took over and She grew frustrated rather quickly with rolling out the dough as it would stick to the roller, rolling back on itself. I took over doing that and left her with the dough rolled out. She was able to get some almost normal looking Christmas cookies onto the baking sheet. She is also the one who made the Christmas dinosaurs. Elena stays for as long as the dough lasts and leaves as I put the last tray in the oven. Last year Nastia helped me. This year she went with Sean to help his family make raviolis. She made it sound like she would rather not go. I told her she should take the trip as a learning experience. Take notes and pictures, then come back and tell me all about it. She gave me a look like I’d just told her to do something crazy that would draw attention to her. When she came home later that night I asked her how it was, she said “it was fun.” Some much for pictures and learning to make raviolis.

I guess the girls are only cookie eaters, Nastia more than Elena and not much for cookie bakers. I’ve tried to instill in them memories like I have that they can look back on in the future when life has changed and doesn’t resemble anything like it is today. I get a little sad and quiet when I think back to times and people that are gone. The memories of them keep them alive a little longer. Now putting up the Christmas tree was its usual adventure. Teri wanted to put it up easy, for once. when people weren’t appropriately enthusiastic enough, the grinch in her appeared and she said, why even bother putting it up then!

I bring the tree down from the attic and I believe it is a Saturday. I put it up.I’ve talked about purchasing this tree several years ago and every time I put it up I remember LInus and Charlie Brown going to the Christmas tree lot and knocking on the fake trees. I can’t find what Linus says, it’s not that famous a line, maybe it’s just me and fake Christmas trees. Well, I piece the tree together, connect the strings of prehung lights (Oh, yes, I’m getting all warm and fuzzy inside aren’t you!) I’m sure you're asking why I don’t just go out and buy a real tree. After all Teri and I made a deal every other year we’d do a real tree. It’s a fact a real tree smells of pine and the memories of Christmas past, but when you go to the tree lot looking for a Grizwald sized Christmas tree (Christmas Vacation reference) and all you can afford and justify is a Charlie Brown size Christmas tree, you know that voice in the back of your head is saying, “The tree is only going to be up a few weeks, how can you justify spending that amount of money. Wouldn’t you rather buy someone another gift or pay for some of the gifts you’ve already bought. So you leave the lot empty handed, sure the eyes of the lot owner are boring into the back of your brain with thoughts very un-christmas. The assembled tree stands for a week sans (without) ornaments. Some time during that Saturday Teri and I have a loud discussion about the tree and decorating it. Nastia is in Orange County with Sean and his relatives, Elena is still in bed at two in the afternoon. She will set a new record of remaining in bed of 4:11 in the afternoon, obliterating her previous record of 3:37. She will still get up a cranky bitch that no one will want to talk to much less decorate a Christmas tree with. So quietly I will bring down a box of ornaments and lightly decorate the tree with ornaments that have a meaning to me. I will make the mistake of telling Teri this and she’ll ask, “What about everyone else?” Being a bit of a snarky bitch myself, I will reply, “Well they should have been here.” Merry Christmas CHARLIE BROWN!” Hark the herald angels song comes up, credits roll and it’s a wrap. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night! Hoo, hoo, hoo!

Nastia's birthday and cake

Nasti’s birthday was this past Sunday, she turned 25. I could go on over several pages about how this just blows my mind. She and her sister have been here 14 years. To me it seems like just a couple of weeks. They have been out of high school, what, if Elena just turned 23 in August, then it’s five years for her, six for Nastia.

Sean and Nastia had big plans for her birthday. He had a surprise for her to get her nails done and they were going to go off to a casino Saturday night into Sunday the third, her birthday, with us being regulated to celebrating it on Friday night. I was a little put out and disappointed, but it’s her birthday and she should celebrate it how she wants. All the plans came crashing down when the week before her birthday Sean came down with something that looked vaguely like the flu. He

said he had pains in his belly about where his pancreas is. Teri thought it might be pancreatitis. I thought it was just the flu. After a few days he goes to the doctor and he has mononucleosis, which is spread by saliva. I thought Nastia should have it too, but she never did. For the next several days she slept with her sister. During this time Nastia is fretting that he will be sick on her birthday and they won’t be able to do anything. I tell her to take it day by day. They cancel everything around Wednesday. By Friday, Sean is well enough to go back to work and Nastia’s birthday dinner is rescheduled for Sunday late afternoon.

Teri calls for a reservation at five, Sunday. On Saturday, we go to the movies and she asks me to check the reservation. It is a good thing I did because they didn’t have it. Sunday at five the eight of us, Teri, me, Nastia, Sean, Elena, Nancy, my mom and her friend Bruce are ready to be seated. Nancy brings her grandson KJ because Amanda is working. I think I see a big disaster heading towards Nastia’s birthday party. It turns out KJ is the perfect guest. He is a little loud and is moved from right next to my mom to the next seat over. He doesn’t cry or act bad. He is amazed by the Onion volcano and by his reaction is very surprised by his first taste of ice cream. He eagerly comes back for more so I think he liked it.

I take more videos of him than Nastia. He is more entertaining. The food is as usual, very good and Nastia asked to have Peter chef our meal, both she and Sean know him. My only complaint is whenever there was extra rice or noodles or steak it went to Sean who was not 100% over his disease. Peter should have shared the wealth. We wrap things up and I believe we are home around eight. It is a nice night. Nastia asked me to make a tres leches cake on Saturday. When someone wants this cake I usually go to Restaurant Depot and purchase a cake that is too large for the occasion and sometimes it doesn’t get eaten. I also like to try new things when I cook. Sometimes they go off the rails, other times I amaze myself. So the idea of making a Tres leche cake interested me. I found a recipe online and it turns out it is a very simple recipe to make. The hardest part is to separate the egg whites and yokes without polluting one or the other. The yokes go in first and after the whites are whipped into their foamy glory you combine them gently into the mix avoiding over mixing preventing losing all the air you incorporated into the whites. Basically you are making a sponge cake. You poke a lot of holes in it after it cooks and cools. You then mix three kinds of milk, condensed, sweet and regular, I used ½-½. It was only supposed to sit in the refrigerator from Saturday to Sunday, but no one was hungry after dinner. It sat until Tuesday. A quick whipping of heavy cream and vanilla, a splash of cinnamon on top of it and it is cake time. It was really good. We ate it after dinner on Tuesday. Well worth the wait.

Girls start cooking again and Nastia' reads

When Teri’s job moved to Georgia last spring and she didn’t, she started cooking dinner every night. After about six or so months of it, I could tell she was getting tired of it. I’d hear things like, I didn’t take anything out, I haven’t started cooking, thought about what to have for dinner, and I’m tired of cooking. I eventually took the hint. The funny thing is I like to cook. There is something in me that likes to create something delicious most of the time from a diverse group of odds and ends. If Teri didn’t have to eat, I’m sure she would never cook.

I told both girls I wanted them to start cooking again. Nastia, who is trying to grow up, took to it immediately, finding a recipe on Tick Tock. It is related to a recipe that uses several cans of soup in a pan with rice and chicken. Her’s had only chicken soup with cheese in addition to the chicken. I walked in last Tuesday from work as she put the pan in the oven. Teri helped little in preparation and I took the dish out of the oven. It looked cooked and really good. I checked one chicken breast to see if it was cooked and it looked cooked. It was juicy and I served myself. About half way through the breast it became obvious it wasn’t completely cooked.

One of the cardinal sins you can commit is to serve Teri undercooked food, especially if it is chicken. She’s gotten better over the years. At one point when I would serve her chicken she considered not cooked ( her version of cooked chicken is really not a juicy chicken) there would be a clatter of silverware onto the table, indignation would fill the air and she would head for the microwave. You know the place where tasty food goes to die. She is better now. It is quieter, but the room still fills with indignation and you can tell she is not happy with her meal. Before the meal is over all of us would head to the microwave killing a tasty meal. Elena gave attitude and acted like a bitch, mouthed off giving the impression she would rather starve to death than cook, She even complained the day she decided to cook Chicken Piccata. She mouthed off to her mother who helped her cook dinner. Elena Muller, what an actress! She cooked Thursday evening. Why she chose Chicken Piccata, I don’t know. It’s not a complex dish, but it has several steps and if you really don’t want to cook, you can find something easier to cook. She used a recipe off the internet and it came out very well. My only complaint is there was not enough gravy. I like to cover the rice in gravy along with the meat. Teri’s the same way and between us tha gravy didn’t go far. THe girls don’t like gravy, so there’s more for us, just not enough. I went back for seconds, it was so good. The gravy was a cream sauce, where I use a recipe that doesn’t add cream.

Sean received some smoked kielbasa and he has talked about cooking it up for a meal. I got no problem with that. Cooking is something I grew up with. I remember one Christmas, my mother gave me Dunkin Hines cake mixes for Christmas. I didn’t know at the time that I liked cooking. I guess she did. It’s grown from there. I hope a love of cooking will grow with the three of them and they will relate to their kids, or Elena will tell kids passing by on the street (because she insists she won’t have kids, see pictures of her holding KJ all the time. She just won’t be able to deal with diapers and vomit.) how they discovered the joy of cooking. I bribe the girls, if not a lot, often. I buy Elena Mountain Dew with the understanding she would not drink energy drinks. I know it’s potato, po-tat-to, the lesser of two evils. I also bought Elena a game console if she didn’t get a motorcycle until she was 26 or 27. I don’t remember the exact age she promised, but I’ll hold out for 27. Teri paid her money to make her hold off getting tattoos that Teri felt were childish, until Elena turned 26 or 27. My deal has the same time frame as Teri’s does, so she may get on her motorcycle after getting a tattoo of Stitch on her arm, from Lilo and Stitch.

I tried other times to pay Nastia to do things. I offered to pay her to go back to college, but she declined. I finally hit on what looks like a winner, for at least the day she did it. I told her I’d pay her to read a book. I said I’d pay her to read “The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian”. I just looked it up and it is banned in some narrow minded communities that think if you stop children from thinking they will be better humans for it. People like that should be banned or sent back to childhood to be reminded how difficult it is. That it’s not ideas that are the problem, it’s not being there to guide them and support them. I’ll get off my soap box. Sometimes I stretch toward the sun and before I know it I’m on my soapbox preaching to the masses the words of freedom and enlightenment, oops, I’m slipping back on to it. The whole idea, just like my life choices, came out of left field with little to no thought. Nuggets like this can’t be examined because you’d never do them. I tell her I’d pay her and this is where the no thought comes in, $50.00 to read a book. It must have been a true inspiration because this past Spring I’d purchased the aforementioned book after reading something about it somewhere, like I said divine intervention. It turns out it is a slightly subversive book about this handicapped, can I call him an Indian in this thin skinned era of ‘who can be offended the quickest by the least offensive remark’. You know those people, they killed comedy and for some reason I want to blame them for killing romantic comedies too. On a reservation and the life he has. It’s considered a book to be read by middle schooler and, yes I can see how it might be a little troublesome having listened to Nastia read the first 40 odd pages, but again hiding these ideas won’t make them go away. Like I said she read the first 40 odd pages and after she closed the book I told her now comes the hard part. You enjoyed what you read. The trick is to pick it up again and again until it becomes a habit. She read on Saturday while I made her birthday cake. Today is Tuesday and the book sadly remains where she left it.

Thanksgiving 2023 with and a shadow from 1966

The plan for Thanksgiving 2023 was the same plan we had for Thanksgiving 2022. It would be the core five of us, like usual. Teri, Me, Nastia, Elena and Nancy. There was talk about if Amanda is off, and I’d extended my unusually early invitation to my mother to join us. The usual invitation goes something like a couple of days before the event, I’ll ask, “If no one has invited you to dinner for (inset holiday) and you feel like coming over we’d like you to join us, Teri’s cooking.” In all honesty, who can turn down an invitation like that?

Before Covid and Billy's purchase of his house, Eric and Lynn would put on a large dinner. Over the years the dinner has gotten small. Teri and I wanted to make our own dinner, so we left sometime after the girls came over from Russia. So maybe it was in the late 2010’s. Several people have passed on and after Billy moved into his house,Thanksgiving moved there. Billy’s future in-laws joined and from what I hear it is very noisy and alive. Since we went solo, our group has not varied much. We were looking at a near record turnout this year with Sean and his dad, Sean Sr. joining us for at least part of the day.

It all changed about 10 days before Thanksgiving. My mom calls one evening an unusual event. I’m at the age where if you are calling in the evening, someone has died or you need to go to the hospital. Thank God it has been 99% imagination and only 1% reality, but that’s still the first thought when the phone rings. My mom is 89, her brother is, what, 94? They are both showing their age, but when I get to their age, my bet is I'll be dead twenty years. So, my mom calls up and says she is hosting Thanksgiving and so far Eric and Lynn are coming. Ruth is in Florida and Karl has his own gathering to attend most likely at his house with all his relatives, Kristen, her two kids, Madeline’s sister and her family et al.

It’s a total surprise, My mom hasn’t hosted a Thanksgiving meal in over twenty years. I tell her I have to talk to Teri, but if we do come she’ll have to let Teri make her mom’s stuffing and we could be as many as eight. I count off for her, there is myself, Teri, Nancy, Elena, Sean, the father and Sean the son and my daughter the holy ghost, or at least that is the way Sean, the son treats her. Who am I to complain, when he finally wises up it’ll be too late. It reminds me of an old Abbott and Costello joke. Abbot asks Costello if he knows what a husband is. Costello replies, “yes, it’s what’s left of a boyfriend after the spirits been killed.” Sorry, I still think that is funny even in the ‘Me too’ era. I looked up the quote and I’m a little off, but either version is still funny.

Sean, the son is taking the holy ghost, Nastia to his mom’s after we eat dinner, so we have to have dinner at one in the afternoon. I’m talking to my mom a few days before Thanksgiving. She checks the weight of the turkey. We both do a quick calculation and realize she will be stuffing the turkey about 5 in the morning to get it in the oven at 6 to take it out at 1 in the afternoon. I ask her several times if she wants me to come over.She is fine about it. I joke Thanksgiving evening that I woke up at 2:30 in the morning wondering if I should call her and ask her if she’d want me to come over at 5 AM. She didn’t think that was funny. Teri makes the stuffing the day before and delivers it. It’s a great stuffing. I’ve talked about it before and won’t go into detail again. I can recycle old jokes, but talking about how to make a stuffing recipe every Thanksgiving might be a bit much. The one secret I’ve told no one and instructed my mother what to lie, I mean tell is how the turkey was basted. Now Teri, my dear loving wife. Show her a baby, show her a deer, or better yet a baby deer, she’ll be crying over it. Try to get her to use the giblets to make a broth to baste the turkey and she’d stomp over, no not over, around a baby deer to stop you from doing it. Since I’ve known her, nah, the truth is I gave up over twenty years ago trying to get her to use the giblets, with a sliced onion, maybe a few other odds and ends, bring to a boil and let it simmer for a while and baste the turkey. NAH, she’d cook it up and feed it to the dogs at one point, maybe her dad might have eaten it At one point. All I know is for many years she has used chicken broth and the gibbles, as she calls them, are nowhere to be found. Dinner on Thanksgiving was not at Muller one PM, very surprising. And yes, if you are wondering I still haven’t gotten around to patenting Muller time, though, Miller Beer came close in the 70’s and 80’s with Miller Time. And being a holiday, Teri and I have a discussion. So instead of going in one car, I drive on ahead. Our ‘discussion’ was so important I’ve forgotten what we discussed, so I can’t go into detail. Part of my bribe to come to dinner is my request to use the dinner ware that I remember from my childhood. The white plates with little pink flowers on them. They came out at every family gathering back in the 60’s. I think I remember dropping and breaking one. It’s funny how memories are not reliable. My mom and I count the dishes and there are six. So I say, “I guess someone else broke one too.” She counts the cup and there are only six cups and she says there are only six cups so it must be a set of six place servings. I drop it thinking six is an odd number of settings, usually it’s eight or twelve. She tells me when I ask that the dishes were purchased when her and my father were on their honeymoon in Montreal, Canada. I later joke with Bruce, her friend and companion, to be careful with the dishes because they are older than he is. My mom didn’t think that was funny. Boy, I was hitting on all cylinders that day. Because I wasn’t there at 5 AM to stuff the turkey, I tried to help out. Teri bought a salad and while we ate the salad, I tried to keep the food warm. Over the last few years my mother, as I said, hasn't hosted a major dinner, so all of her utensils that I remember her having have been given away,yes, some to me, or put away and she doesn’t off the top of her head remember where. I’m sorry to say at one or two, maybe three points I did use my hands, but rest assured I’d washed them several times between the start and the end. Sorry, everyone. We sat down to dinner about fifteen minutes late. We eat a salad that used to be part of every large gathering in Teri’s family and for a long while in hers and mine. We are a good sized gathering of around a dozen or so and despite Teri suffering from claustrophobia a little everyone enjoyed themselves. Lynn, just getting over a surgery, sat at one end of two tables. Eric next to her, Sean, the father sat across from him and I hope enjoyed talking about cars and such with Eric. Sean the son and the holy ghost, Nastia sit next to Sean, the father. I got to eat off one of the white plates, just like all those years ago. It wasn’t the same, but it didn't matter. Elena sat across from her sister and Sean, the son. KJ attended his first thanksgiving and was very unimpressed with it, I think he slept through it. I don’t think he even got to eat his turkey baby food. I’m sorry, it sounds awful. It broke up around three. Sean, the son and the holy spirit left for his mom’s house. Sean, the father left for his friend's house and I think he got stuck in traffic heading home to Orange county. I didn’t hear the whole story. Since I’d made a good portion of the mess in the kitchen, I started cleaning. I kept telling my mom to go sit down and relax,but that would be like telling Teri to do the same. Teri kept asking me if I wanted her to finish up. I asked her why, she replied because I’m feeling useless. I had to leave the sink for a moment about 70% of the way towards clean and there she goes taking over cleaning. She now felt useful and not lazy, yeah, go figure, her lazy? She finishes the dish, I’m drying and trying to figure where everything goes. Reminded me of the first time I hosted a dinner party at the house when I was in my early twenties and used every dish, plate, bowl and spoon for a party of six. And yes my mother made sure I cleaned up. About forty years later I sometimes clean while I cook. I’m getting better.

I think Elena heads over with Matt to his mom’s house to spend some time with her. She comes home not too late, happy. She and Sean, the son and also the father have to work on Friday, so early to bed. It is nice to get all together like that. Since Covid gatherings are rarer than they should be. Everyone has gotten out of the habit or maybe feels it’s more of a hassle than it's worth. I miss all the hustle and bustle of everyone together. Maybe one day all four kids and our families and our mom can all gather together, if we can find a place large enough and have a meal. I’ve included a picture of I think Thanksgiving, maybe Easter from some time in the 60’s. I’m not five or six, I’m maybe six, seven, That would make Ruth four or five and Eric about three, maybe. I'm sitting on Wally's lap and Karl is behind me next to mom. Wally’s oldest is the other baby in my mom’s arms. Joanne, Wally’s wife, I think is taking the picture. My Aunt Emilie is on the left holding Ruth. My dad is most likely delivering milk. So either Thanksgiving or Easter. The clock on the right I have. The tapestry in the background was brought upstate, hung in the living room, over the fireplace and stolen when there was a break in sometime in the early 70’s. My Uncle Tonny bought that for my mom from Germany in the early 60's.I always liked it and was sorry it was stolen.

Everybody hurts sometime*

Finally found an 80's song I can work into the blog.I did have to look up the artist, R.E.M About two weeks ago Nastia came home from work with a cough. She says she feels fine, “it’s just this cough.” Over that weekend two weeks ago, Nastia shares her cough with me and possibly her mother. Teri seems to start coughing just about the time I seem to be on the mend. About a week ago my cough came back. I don’t think anything about it. It gets worse and worse. By a week ago, Friday, I’m coughing my fool head off and in a very nice way (you know Joe, if you have sick time, you can go home and not get the office sick) my boss Leticia, emails me and asks if I want to go home. I came in that day because a month earlier I’d taken a sick day also on a Friday. She said I was Okay, so I went home. To be sure, I also took Monday off.

Now Nastia who started all of this is soldiering on trying to not take any time off, because she went on disability back when she broke her foot and didn’t want management to think she is not a dedicated employee. She worked on Friday, spent the weekend coughing and finally on Monday, she throws in the towel (boxing reference for all you future people) and calls in sick. I'm Home too, just because I can be. I’m coughing, still feeling okay, but I figure why not take another day and be sure. Nastia and I spend the day the same way I’ve spent the past three, watching TV and falling asleep. Come Tuesday, we’re both raring to go to get out of the house. During this whole time Elena cloistered away in her room or outside at work is fine, not even a throat clear during this time.

Now Nastia and I are back to work, but the congestion in our lungs still remains. Remember this is the congestion that everytime you change your position, from standing to lying down on the right side to lying down on the left side, it’s going to shift and you’ll start coughing again until it settles. This gives health care primo domo Primo domo: Primo means of the best quality : excellent, DOMO means "very". It's especially helpful when stressing appreciation or making an apology. When you buy something at a store, store clerk would say "DOMO ARIGATOU", meaning thank you "very much". You can also use DOMO as a greeting like "hello" . So, I’m saying very best, or very best hello.) Teri her opening to play doctor, but not in a fun way unless your idea of fun is to take nasty medicine and big horse pills. She forces Nastia to take medicine so she’ll quit coughing and can get a restful night of sleep. With me, well she gave up on me years ago and just makes sure the insurance is paid up to date.

Nastia continues to turn in her sleep and when she does, she coughs. I try to sleep on one side, preferably not facing Teri so I can cough and it won’t be as loud. Hey, I know, but it makes me feel as if I’m at least trying. Elena continues on as if nothing is happening. Not a sniffle, a throat clear,nothing. That Bitch!! Speaking of her, it was her and Matt’s anniversary. I really hate these types of anniversaries, especially with her and him because they have been together since, what, third grade?

I remember driving down to Rick’s Club down Lake Road across from the park to unload Elena and her bike so she and some kid she knew could go bike riding at Conger’s Park. I see this guy with his son unloading a bike. The father shakes my hand and we might have talked for a moment and off the two of them go. I don’t remember picking her up, but I must have. I think that is the first time I met Matt. I remember other times, like when they were not talking to each other, no, not recently,more like when they were still in elementary school. Maybe that’s another kid I’m thinking of, I’m not sure. My point is all the way back to that bike ride on that afternoon, all those years ago I had no idea that he would be such an important part of her life, go figure. It’s like after Nastia broke up with her previous boyfriend she kept saying she’d never meet anyone and I’d have to be her date on Valentines Day, four months away, then she meets Sean going to hang out with her sister and some of her sister’s coworkers. Life is so strange and funny. It reminds me of a line from a Rolling Stones song, it's been used so often, but applies to at least our life. You can’t alway get what you want, but you get what you need.** Teri is still out of work, money is tight again, but right now life is pretty good. Teri is not happy about not working ( yes, severe case of age discrimination), but she then is able to find time to do important things like take Amanda’s son, KJ and spend time with him. She seems mostly happy. There are times when she lets it bubble to the surface and you see all the guilt she feels for not having a job. She’s worked over 40 years and she said one day, “I never thought it would end this way, it’s not fair.” Do I really have to reference Nastia and that Stones song really. It’ll change, it always does, just not at your speed or time table. You Can't Always Get What You Want/ Song by The Rolling Stones Lyrics I saw her today at the reception A glass of wine in her hand I knew she would meet her connection At her feet was her footloose man No, you can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want But if you try sometime you'll find You get what you need I saw her today at the reception A glass of wine in her hand I knew she was gonna meet her connection At her feet was her footloose man You can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want But if you try sometimes, well, you might find You get what you need Ah, yeah Oh And I went down to the demonstration To get my fair share of abuse Singing, "We're gonna vent our frustration If we don't we're gonna blow a fifty-amp fuse" Sing it to me, honey You can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want But if you try sometimes, well, you just might find You get what you need Ah baby, yeah Ah I went down to the Chelsea drugstore To get your prescription filled I was standing in line with Mr. Jimmy And, man, did he look pretty ill We decided that we would have a soda My favorite flavor, cherry red I sung my song to Mr. Jimmy Yeah, and he said one word to me, and that was "dead" I said to him You can't always get what you want, well no You can't always get what you want. I tell you, baby You can't always get what you want, no But if you try sometimes you just might find, uh, mm You get what you need, oh yeah, woo! Ah, woo! You get what you need, yeah, oh baby Ah yeah I saw her today at the reception In her glass was a bleeding man She was practiced at the art of deception Well, I could tell by her blood-stained hands, sing it You can't always get what you want, yeah You can't always get what you want, ooh yeah, child You can't always get what you want But if you try sometimes you just might find You just might find You get what you need, ah yeah Ah baby, woo! Ah, you can't always get what you want, no, no, baby You can't always get what you want, you can't now, now You can't always get what you want But if you try sometimes you just might find You just might find that you You get what you need, oh yeah Ah yeah, do that

Pumpkin carving, KJ sleeps over and Halloween Parade (Less than two month until Christmas already!)

This last week or so has been filled with all the fun of the season (and some global warming thrown in). Last week it was almost 80 degrees over the weekend. I have two Fig trees and an Avocado tree (Oh, daddy, here plant this seed, it’s so big!!) and they have been outside enjoying the warm wonderful, rainy weather these past months. When it was 80, I figured I had some time before I’d have to bring in the trees. Well, this is not normal fall weather, because by Wednesday the weatherman/ woman was predicting a frost. Tuesday, we didn’t get a frost, but on Wednesday they said it would be a hard frost. Me, being the ever conscientious gentleman farmer, I waited until Wednesday night to bring in his trees. All three of the trees, the leaves had turned yellow and brown telling me it is time to bring them inside. In previous years, I’d brought them in earlier, only to have the leaves fall off them in the basement. Being lazy has its advantages. The next morning, mother nature takes her revenge on my wise ass. All the car windows have a hard, thick, winter white frost on them. I wanted to get out early that morning because I’d forgotten to buy lunch. I scrape all the windows and turn on my heater fan to warm the car. The fan doesn’t work. I rub the inside of the front window trying to clear it. I have the wipers going on the outside. Then I do the dumbest thing and I know all of you have done the same thing. I spray the windshield washer fluid on the window. We’ve all done it before. Hell I’ve done it before and I knew I shouldn’t do it, but did it anyway. Isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same time over and over again expecting a different outcome? Well the wipers spread a nice thin new sheet of ice over my window. I go back out and scrape it down. I get back in the car and begin to wipe off the fog on the inside again, but it isn’t fog, it is also ice. Earlier I was breathing while rubbing down the window and unknown to me I got some moisture on the window. Once the outside frost, the inside must have thought it would be a fun idea to do the same.

I scrape the inside, then the outside again and decide to pull out of the driveway, because it is getting late. I drive maybe 100 feet before I pull over again and have another go at my windshield. All this time the rear window that I scraped, leaving a small pile of white scraping in the middle of it, is as white as a bride's dress on the morning of her wedding. Tha window doesn’t clear until I’m almost at work. Fun times in New York, yea know! Sean and Nastia went to his mother’s house on Sunday to carve pumpkins. I haven’t carved a pumpkin in years. We’d (my mom) cut open a pumpkin, clean it out, carve it then we’d place a candle in it on Halloween. It used to be one of the highlights of Halloween. That and the candy and watching ‘A Charlie Brown Halloween’. A Lot of things have fallen by the wayside.

Halloween has barely survived the first twenty odd years of this decade. We adopted the girls in 09. They were lions at the Nyack Street fair that year. We went with Teri’s father and stood on the upper level of a building on Main Street. Two of the next three years, I think we got snow. One Halloween we did trunk or treat where a group of people got together and opened their trucks in a parking lot in Nyack and the kids went from car to car to get candy. I forgot why that was necessary. The last few years we’ll get little kids coming around in the afternoon to early evening. It will all be over by eight. I don’t see teenagers going out any more. When I turned thirteen, I thought I was too old to go out. The next few years after that I went out and had a grand time. Maybe teenagers are going to parties.

KJ, Amanda’s baby slept over our house two of the last three nights. Teri kept him during the day and there is a reason only the young should have babies. He was fussy all day and she was exhausted at the end of the day. She’d planned to make chicken for dinner last night, but I picked something up instead. He finally settled down sometime around eight and slept through most of the night, waking up around 3:30 like he did the previous night he stayed.

Teri on both of those nights said she would sleep in the living room. She said it was better not to move him and she thought she was being thoughtful. The two nights she slept in the living room, I have never slept in an emptier bed in my life. It was the weirdest, most uncomfortable sleep I’ve had in a long time. You have to remember when Teri and I sleep together, the dogs join us too. So it was her and the dogs missing both nights. Truly not a fun sleep. And I can’t believe Christmas is only 52 days away. Remember when Halloween was so far away from Christmas and stores didn’t start showing Christmas stuff until after Thanksgiving? If Halloween gets any closer to Christmas, it's gonna squeeze Thanksgiving out. 52 days doesn’t seem enough time to shop for Christmas. I’ve already started a list. For me Christmas is 50 days of worrying about what to get people and two days of rushing around to find something.

I almost forgot about the Halloween parade in Nyack. Teri and I throw a couple of chairs in the car. Last year she thought it was an Okay idea to stand, I bought a chair. We pick up Nancy and for the first time in ever there is no parking at 55 Catherine St. Teri’s family home that was sold this past summer. We find a single spot just north of Main Street off North Franklin, a short walk to the parade. We set up our chairs, spaced out so when Sean and Nastia get there they will have space to put their chairs.

Nastia texts me, they are on their way, they don’t see any parking spots, they don’t know where they are, but they have a spot. They finally arrive, but they don’t have chairs and the three of us don't move closer. So when it is finally time for the parade. I feel like I’m in a different time zone. I'm so far away from Teri and Nancy. People begin to slip between the three of us. I take pictures of everyone, strangers appear in the pictures, hands, body parts block people I want to take pictures of. I get some good pictures. As far as the parade, it is not as good as years past. In the past Spring Valley would put on a great show. The costumes would be inventive and time would have gone into it. This year only one or two costumes were really that great.

After the parade we went out to eat at the Nyack dinner. Sean and Nastia get lost again and cross main street going south, swing around onto Rt 9W and finally arrive at the dinner. The food and conversation was good. Overall a nice night out. It wasn’t cold until a day or two later.

Cinderella's sweet 16.

I remember when Amanda turned 16. Her parents wanted to throw a sweet 16 party for her. Unlike her friends it was not affordable. When each of our girls turned 16, there was no thought of throw a party. I remember money was tight, but not awful. In 2014, the Mustang was on the road and I taught Nastia to dive using it. So I had two cars on the road, money must have been OK. By 2016, I wasn’t working full time and money was tight. There was never a thought for a sweet 16 for Elena. So neither of the girls got a sweet sixteen party. They may have both had parties, but it was just like any birthday party they have had before and since. Sallyann, Teri’s best friend, decided to throw her daughter, an only child, a sweet 16 party. My first reaction was why she's not anywhere near 16. My second reaction was the old man in me coming out, “Do I have to go?!” If I had actually verbalized that thought (28 years of marriage have taught me better) it would have sounded whiney, with a heavy nasal tone to it. The invitations arrived in September and per my usual attitude (well, it’s not today or tomorrow, I worry about it later,I forgot about it,) Like tide and time not waiting, the event came around.

They decided the theme was going to be a dress up masquerade party. In September, I didn’t care, but as always the days and weeks passed and suddenly I am faced with a dress up party in the following week to ten days. Teri her usual self got a pretty dress for Nastia and a slightly sexy pants suit (Hillary Clinton killed pants suits for me) and they were ready. About a week before the party, I announced to Teri, I am dressing in business casual, you know dress pants and a nice shirt, shoes not sneakers for the event. A couple of days before the event, Teri said to try on my suits.

To be blunt, I am still carring all that Covid weight (You know, during Covid , all there was to do was eat and drink alcohol. Why leave that stuff around if you weren't going to be here.) So I knew the two suits I owned (purchased sometime last century, most likely) were going to fit just like Steve Martin’s suit fit in the remake of ‘The Father of the Bride’ (Who forgot about the original with Spencer Tracy and don’t say who!) where his old suit is a good two sizes too small. Teachers tell us our bodies change during puberty, but forget to tell us it continues our whole lives and clothes like my suit won't fit. So I go with full confidence to Nastia’s closet (I put the suits in there when it was my closet back around 08), dust off the shoulders and struggle to put on the brown suit. (I’m thinking as I put it on, if it don’t fit I ain’t gonna wear this shit! Yes, I’m paraphrasing, sort of and stealing from Johnny Cochran in the OJ Simpson trial.) And yes the brown suit does not fit. I start a pile for Goodwill with the brown suit.

My second suit, I think I remember buying it in the 90’s or earlier. But that can’t be. I’d have grown out of it a very long time ago. However old it is, I slip on the jacket. It’s surprisingly a little big. I try on the pants, knowing there is no way my waist is the same as the day I bought it.It isn't, but the pants fit. I think I bought it at a men’s wear place in Pearl River that has been out of business more than thirty years. It was a well known place in it’s time, a fixture, but it’s been gone so long, I can’t remember its name. I slide off the pants and notice the sizing 32x38. They must have known a day like this would come up in the distant future (Andy’s Men’s wear, that's the place!!) and that I would be one of the last people on planet earth to wear one of their suits.

Because of some far-sighted men’s wear salesmen, I am now forced to wear a suit to Cinderall’s Ball. This is a non alcohol party and it takes me the longest time to understand why, ‘IT’S A SWEET SIXTEEN PARTY!!THEY DON’T DRINK’ Though the evening will cause some of the lucky parents to drink. Teri loads up the cooler. She puts some vodka, some Malibu Rum and some OJ and Lemonade in the cooler. I pack premixed lemonade and cherry vodka. It’s great and it is the hit of the party, for the adults. We arrived early. Over the previous week Teri had helped Sallyann put together the hall. She helped put together and arrange things. We arrive fifteen minutes early and Sallyann is still at it. She and her family have gone well and beyond reasonable for this party. Later when they serve food, I’ll take small spoonfuls of most items and my plate will be full before I’ve gotten to the halfway point of the food. Desserts planned are cookies, cakes, brownies, a chocolate fountain, which doesn’t happen. Just way too much. Sallyann’s daughter, Katie is dressed in a Cinderella princess dress. I find a seat at the most distant table because Teri is saying the music's too loud. We will be moved because unknown to me there are assigned tables.

The DJ starts spinning records(??) immediately. I don’t know the music, but it’s got a great beat and the kids (do I really have to really call them that, I’m really not that old, yet!! Can I call them children?) The creatures (I guess that’s not going to go over very well, How about the beaning I have little in common with, shortened to Bihlic) So the Bihilic are dancing, I’m watching, looking at my phone, taking videos(are they still called that, even though there is no longer any tape?) of my family. I come up with or maybe someone else does that it’s time to break out the liquid refreshments. I go out to the car with Elena, several times during the night. I don’t drink, but I do share and everyone who is on the receiving end is grateful. I give Sallyann one Malibu and OJand a cherry vodka and lemonade. She doesn’t turn them down. Sean dances with Nastia, Elena dances withTeri, Teri dances with friends. I hurt my knee and don’t dance. The party ends around 11PM and Teri stays to help clean up. THe girls, Sean and I pitch in. We manage to leave around midnight, home before 1. It was a fun party and I even got to wear my suit. I just wonder how Andy, from Andy’s Men’s Wear knew thirty years ago I’d need four inches more in the waist in the 21st century.

Elena's life, so far, Apple picking, Sean's birthday with his family .

Fall has finally come to the area. Previous to the last couple of days the weather was a touch too warm, warm enough to open windows at home, but not turn on the air. After a couple of rain storms, one a bit intense, the weather turned cooler and fall has officially arrived. Leaves are turning colors and falling, jackets are needed and the heater in my car again doesn’t work.

Teri is still looking for a job. She is starting to get discouraged, but she continues to look and send out resumes. Even if she says she’s not tough, I don’t know how she does it. Sending out resumes and writing cover letters, I’ve always hated it and was never any good at it. I recently looked at my resume wanting to update it with information about my current job. I got as far as writing the name of the company above The Crystal Spoon, enlarged the type and highlighted it. When it came to my job description, I could think of anything that was something I wanted to put there. I’m sure there is information, like how I’ve grown my accounts by anywhere between 80 and 93% over the last six months. I put it away and went on to this instead. I rather babble on about the girls then think about stuff like that.

Elena keeps staying late after work to talk with her friend Christian. Now usually I’d put quotes around the word friend giving it a salacious (Having or conveying undue or inappropriate interest in sexual matters) feel to it, but for someone who tries to act like none of the rules apply to her, at least at this point nothing is going on with her and Christian. Well I did tell you that Putin wouldn’t invade Ukraine and if he did the war would be over in weeks, not going on toward two years. Elena invited Matt over for dinner yesterday. We had a very delicious chicken dinner. There was butter, some spices and since I didn’t make it or help, I have no idea what else might have been mixed in with it. I do miss cooking. I went to BJ’s to get some stuff the other day. I picked up a case of Mountain Dew and told Elena if she stayed away from the energy drinks, I’d give the case to her. She agreed and I put it downstairs. That night she comes up from the cellar with it and I see her. She gives me a quick deer in the headlights look and when I don’t say anything she takes it up to her room. I figure a little bad in sugar and caffeine is better than alot bad power drinks. One day she will wake up with a caffeine hangover, like she has been warned and she’ll then be like all the rest of us. She’s still loving her job. Nastia just went back to work today (10/10/2023)She received workmans comp while out. She tried to go back the day after her doctor’s appointment on Thursday, because she’d had her fill of mother-daughter time. She told the Doctor to put Tuesday the 10th on the note, so when she tried to go back to work on Friday, the 6th, they sent her home until today, Tuesday, the 10th. She was so looking forward to going to work Friday. She purchased some carrots, sliced a pepper, added some cucumbers and she didn’t stay long enough to enjoy her lunch. This past weekend she dressed up and put on shoes different from the boot she’s worn these past weeks or well supported sneakers and by the end of Saturday night her foot hurt her. She’s going to have to be more careful, no heels careful.

She went to dinner with Sean and his family up in Orange county for his birthday. She told me (her first mistake) that she is going to let him drink and she’d drive home. She’d be driving after dark, in a possible rain storm on roads she isn’t overly family with going around a traffic circle where Rt 6 and the Palisades come together. I felt it was too much for her and her poor eye site to handle. I call Sean over just before they leave and ask him to not drink and to drive home. He agrees right off the bat and Nastia gets angry at me. They leave and have a fun night. THey go down to the Last Chance Saloon, down the street to finish off the celebration. Nastia invites me to join them and I do. I’m a little too old to wake up with a hangover (I’m not admitting I did, but I watched TV most of the day) and it was a fun night.

On Sunday, Nastia and Sean go apple picking up in Orange County. They bring back this medium to small size bag of apples. THey are all nice sized and look delicious. The bag of apples they drove up to Orange County for and picked cost something like $28.00. Sean was going to get two bags, but for that price he chose wisely, and got one. I may have misunderstand what they did that day. Maybe they didn’t pick them. Maybe these apples are special, chosen by the elven gods of the wilds of Orange County especially for a birthday boy. Maybe that is why they are so expensive. I really don’t know. This weekend they’ll become an apple pie or an Apple Brown Betty, who knows. Paraphrasing Shakespeare ‘An apple by any other price will taste just as sweet’

Family Dinner

My Family Dinner When I was a kid, we had a family dinner, sort of. I remember my dad having dinner with us when I was very young.It was maybe even before Ruth and Eric were born. Then as I got older my dad would finish work later and later, until he never made family dinner except on the occasional Sunday family dinner we had. When Teri and I adopted the girls we made family dinner a big part of the day. It was something she grew up with and I as I said above sort of did too. As the girls got older and were working part time jobs that started in the late afternoon and didn’t end until 10-11 O’Clock at night, family dinner looked like it would die like most modern American family dinners. When the girls got full time jobs and were home around five, family dinner made a comeback. Sean joined us recently as a regular and on some nights, from his expression and his head in his hands and the smile on his face there have been some nights where he might have wished he was not there.

Last night, like most nights conversation, I don’t know how it got to where it did, but I was the brunt of the abuse. I think it started with Teri and I talking about the person who had the last accident. I’ve waited years for this conversation because, even though it was like eight years ago, Teri is the last one to have an accident. So the conversation then veers towards how aggressive a drive I have been and remain over the years. Teri tells the story where I’m trying to pass a person on the right on Rt 59 in Nyack. Nastia tells the stories of how I blew off a person with the finger and sped around them , yes again on the right.The next story got a big laugh and happened in the Target parking lot. I don’t remember how it started but this woman did something that caused me to start cursing her out and she goes, “Nice talk in front of your daughter” implying Nastia is some young kid, who hasn't cursed like a truck driver since we've known her. I think this all started because Nastia said she is a good driver. This conversation is definitely a step up from talking about bodily functions and sex. It has always been a no hold barred time when we sit down to dinner. Almost everytime we do Teri is telling someone to put down their cell phone. On nights like this I’m glad everyone does. This is what makes family dinners special and prized. Some of the girl's friends don’t have or value family dinners. You just need to see things from someone else's eyes sometimes. It’s like the time Jessica (not the one with the child, Elena’s best friend) walked out to our backyard and said,”wow”. I’ve never seen the yard the same way since. Before she walked out the door that day I saw a pool, a trampoline and a yard that needed to be better tended. After that it is all different, special. Still not perfect, but more appreciated.