Cinderella's sweet 16.

I remember when Amanda turned 16. Her parents wanted to throw a sweet 16 party for her. Unlike her friends it was not affordable. When each of our girls turned 16, there was no thought of throw a party. I remember money was tight, but not awful. In 2014, the Mustang was on the road and I taught Nastia to dive using it. So I had two cars on the road, money must have been OK. By 2016, I wasn’t working full time and money was tight. There was never a thought for a sweet 16 for Elena. So neither of the girls got a sweet sixteen party. They may have both had parties, but it was just like any birthday party they have had before and since. Sallyann, Teri’s best friend, decided to throw her daughter, an only child, a sweet 16 party. My first reaction was why she's not anywhere near 16. My second reaction was the old man in me coming out, “Do I have to go?!” If I had actually verbalized that thought (28 years of marriage have taught me better) it would have sounded whiney, with a heavy nasal tone to it. The invitations arrived in September and per my usual attitude (well, it’s not today or tomorrow, I worry about it later,I forgot about it,) Like tide and time not waiting, the event came around.

They decided the theme was going to be a dress up masquerade party. In September, I didn’t care, but as always the days and weeks passed and suddenly I am faced with a dress up party in the following week to ten days. Teri her usual self got a pretty dress for Nastia and a slightly sexy pants suit (Hillary Clinton killed pants suits for me) and they were ready. About a week before the party, I announced to Teri, I am dressing in business casual, you know dress pants and a nice shirt, shoes not sneakers for the event. A couple of days before the event, Teri said to try on my suits.

To be blunt, I am still carring all that Covid weight (You know, during Covid , all there was to do was eat and drink alcohol. Why leave that stuff around if you weren't going to be here.) So I knew the two suits I owned (purchased sometime last century, most likely) were going to fit just like Steve Martin’s suit fit in the remake of ‘The Father of the Bride’ (Who forgot about the original with Spencer Tracy and don’t say who!) where his old suit is a good two sizes too small. Teachers tell us our bodies change during puberty, but forget to tell us it continues our whole lives and clothes like my suit won't fit. So I go with full confidence to Nastia’s closet (I put the suits in there when it was my closet back around 08), dust off the shoulders and struggle to put on the brown suit. (I’m thinking as I put it on, if it don’t fit I ain’t gonna wear this shit! Yes, I’m paraphrasing, sort of and stealing from Johnny Cochran in the OJ Simpson trial.) And yes the brown suit does not fit. I start a pile for Goodwill with the brown suit.

My second suit, I think I remember buying it in the 90’s or earlier. But that can’t be. I’d have grown out of it a very long time ago. However old it is, I slip on the jacket. It’s surprisingly a little big. I try on the pants, knowing there is no way my waist is the same as the day I bought it.It isn't, but the pants fit. I think I bought it at a men’s wear place in Pearl River that has been out of business more than thirty years. It was a well known place in it’s time, a fixture, but it’s been gone so long, I can’t remember its name. I slide off the pants and notice the sizing 32x38. They must have known a day like this would come up in the distant future (Andy’s Men’s wear, that's the place!!) and that I would be one of the last people on planet earth to wear one of their suits.

Because of some far-sighted men’s wear salesmen, I am now forced to wear a suit to Cinderall’s Ball. This is a non alcohol party and it takes me the longest time to understand why, ‘IT’S A SWEET SIXTEEN PARTY!!THEY DON’T DRINK’ Though the evening will cause some of the lucky parents to drink. Teri loads up the cooler. She puts some vodka, some Malibu Rum and some OJ and Lemonade in the cooler. I pack premixed lemonade and cherry vodka. It’s great and it is the hit of the party, for the adults. We arrived early. Over the previous week Teri had helped Sallyann put together the hall. She helped put together and arrange things. We arrive fifteen minutes early and Sallyann is still at it. She and her family have gone well and beyond reasonable for this party. Later when they serve food, I’ll take small spoonfuls of most items and my plate will be full before I’ve gotten to the halfway point of the food. Desserts planned are cookies, cakes, brownies, a chocolate fountain, which doesn’t happen. Just way too much. Sallyann’s daughter, Katie is dressed in a Cinderella princess dress. I find a seat at the most distant table because Teri is saying the music's too loud. We will be moved because unknown to me there are assigned tables.

The DJ starts spinning records(??) immediately. I don’t know the music, but it’s got a great beat and the kids (do I really have to really call them that, I’m really not that old, yet!! Can I call them children?) The creatures (I guess that’s not going to go over very well, How about the beaning I have little in common with, shortened to Bihlic) So the Bihilic are dancing, I’m watching, looking at my phone, taking videos(are they still called that, even though there is no longer any tape?) of my family. I come up with or maybe someone else does that it’s time to break out the liquid refreshments. I go out to the car with Elena, several times during the night. I don’t drink, but I do share and everyone who is on the receiving end is grateful. I give Sallyann one Malibu and OJand a cherry vodka and lemonade. She doesn’t turn them down. Sean dances with Nastia, Elena dances withTeri, Teri dances with friends. I hurt my knee and don’t dance. The party ends around 11PM and Teri stays to help clean up. THe girls, Sean and I pitch in. We manage to leave around midnight, home before 1. It was a fun party and I even got to wear my suit. I just wonder how Andy, from Andy’s Men’s Wear knew thirty years ago I’d need four inches more in the waist in the 21st century.