Seaside Rendezvous Song by Queen

It's that time of year again.It’s time to go to the beach. It’s the same, but different now. We all go to the beach, at least for now, as a family. It’s different because now the girls take a separate car. It was supposed to be a group of nine or ten. Sallyann and her family were going, but Katie got sick and they couldn’t make it. So the group was down to seven. The girls still wanted to go on their own. So We said we’ll meet you down there at the parking lot on Hamilton Ave. They arrive first and park on Hamilton. We’re still a half hour away, so I tell them we’ll meet them on the beach. Yes, this opens things up to misunderstandings and all those other good things. We arrive on Hamilton about half an hour later, drive down the road and pull into the lot on the right side of the road. We pay our $15.00, unload the too much stuff to bring to the beach stuff and go towards the closest walkway to the beach. It’s almost straight ahead. Where else would someone who parked on Hamilton go?

Sean goes down Hamilton, but goes to the left side of the road's parking lot. He parks all the way down in the lot toward the next road over. So the closest walkway is not the one closest to where we park. I’m dragging a wheeled cooler,carrying Elena's tent,a chair and an umbrella. Teri has a chair and a bag, maybe two. We over packed considering the ice tea and the Mountain Dew for Elena is never touched. I wanted a gallon of water and lots of ice to fill the rest of the space. Teri had us ditch the beach cart because the wheeled cooler has wheels. In sand it’s more like a bulldozer, it just pushes the sand in front of it. I’m in jeans because I don’t like myself and want to suffer in the 90 degree heat and humidity. It is so foggy I can’t see the water. We trudge through the sand. It feels like we are in a survival movie, lost in the desert. I’m pulling half the beach in front of this cooler. ‘

Before we even stepped on the beach, I call Nastia and Elena. No answer on their phones. I guess you can’t take it in the water. Nancy, good old helpful Nancy had gone ahead, found where they were, stood up and waved. Then sat back down. I guess I can give her a pass, she didn’t know two idiots have over packed for the beach. We arrive where the girls have set up their camp. Teri wants to set up here, she’s tired. I don’t like it. I thought it, but didn’t express it. Yes, I’m getting better,but I think, it's like going to a strip club. Why go if you’re going to sit in the back row. So I want to move closer to the water, Teri is done walking. I say I’m going, she says, good bye. I set up on a little hill where the beach crests toward the water. It’s nice, I like it. Teri joins me and then pesters her sister to join. She wants people she cares about to be around. Finally Nancy moves about half way closer. She’s behind us, but near to the girls and their boyfriends.

The girls don’t consider moving once. I forgot, in all that crap Teri and I hauled was a small pop up tent Elena forgot to bring. She sets it up and she and Matt get comfortable inside it. I set up the two chairs, trying to make Teri a little more comfortable because she did move for me. I try to use the beach umbrella stand. First time it goes in rough and it’s in the wrong place. The second time it goes in better, but again it’s in the wrong place. I give up and jam the umbrella into the sand and sit down in my chair. I drenched with perspiration. I try to dry off. Teri is sitting next to me, the girls and their boyfriends are in the water.

About an hour later Nastia and Elena are looking for food. Teri tells them they were responsible for their own stuff and should have brought some. She then gives them her potato chips. They finish off most of them. Teri notices Nastia's top is inside out. Nastia puts on Teri's beach cover which is incidently also inside out and goes through the process of flipping her top right side out. Ah, the trials and tribulations of being a girl on the beach with her topon inside out, so Nastia, I love her.

Later we go onto the broadwalk looking for a place to eat. Usually that leads to a place whose name I forget. They have okay food that is pricey. I lean over to Teri and tell her this. Walking south we encounter a new place. There are no menus in the windows and no one is sure whether to go in. Someone, most likely Teri says lets try it and we go in. It has a deck overlooking the water, but it is so hot and humid we pick indoors with the air conditioning. The girls and Sean go a little crazy ordering drinks and appetizers. Teri orders a soup and onion rings. I ordered an onion burger with fries. The food is really good. My burger was something like $17.00, but worth it. The girls and their boyfriend want to split the bill and try to get the waiter to do it, but it gets confusing. So each couple and Nancy look at the bill, Teri and I step in when necessary and help them claim their portion of the bill and some tip money. Somewhere it goes haywire because Teri and I are still left with about $100.00 of the bill (total with tip $242.00 for seven people) Teri says at least there was an attempt to do it correctly.

Back on the beach well fed, the girls and their boyfriends go back into the water (what happened to that old wives tail about waiting 45 minutes after eating. Those old wives always have something to say.) Teri and I sit for a while, then walk in to mid calf deep in the water, then go hunt for seashells with Nancy. We return, it’s 4:45 and the kids (that is easier than the girls and their boyfriends, but that makes me the old man I don’t want to be.) are packing up to go get something on the boardwalk and go on a ride at the pier. I’m feeling like that old man suddenly and I’m thinking about all this crap we’ve lugged into the middle of the Sahara desert. I do a very un-Joe Muller thing and ask for help. Sean says they'll contact us shortly to help with all this crap.

A while later we are packing up and we get a call to see if we need help, much welcomed help. And Nastia you keep asking if I like Sean! Relieved of much of the crap it’s one trip to the car, then a quick trip for ice cream.

Teri is so pleased with the day she lets me drive home. She comments how I don’t like driving her car. I correct her and tell her I don’t like driving her car when she is in it. She does take the hint and her directions on how to drive and what lane I should be in are minimal. She does get upset when a car pulls in front of us, we’re in the left lane going 80. The car kind of looks like it wants to go back into the center lane. He drifts toward it some, then rides the line between lanes. This pisses me off, I then realize he’s drowsy. I change to the center lane and pull up alongside him and lean on my horn. I then yell at him through the closed window. The horn was for him, to wake him up. The yelling was for me. Teri didn’t like either and tells me so. I pass him. At mile marker 136 traffic slows and stays slow through the Oranges. We arrive home around 8.Immediately the dogs are let out and then Teri and I are in the shower. The others (that doesn’t sound right, sounds like something out of a horror movie) arrive not too long after us. I don’t ask how their trip was. I'm tired and just glad they’re home safe. It was a very hot and humid day, but I enjoyed it and would do it again, just with less crap. Lyrics Seaside, whenever you stroll along with me Merely contemplating what you feel inside Meanwhile, I ask you to be my Clementine You say you will if you could, but you can't I love you madly Let my imagination (run away) with you gladly A brand new angle highly commendable Seaside rendezvous I feel so romantic, can we do it again? Can we do it again some time (I'd like that) Fantastic, c'est la vie mesdames et messieurs And at the peak of the season The Mediterranean This time of year, it's so fashionable I feel like dancing in the rain Can I have a volunteer? (Just keep right on dancing) What a damn jolly good idea It's such a jollification as a matter of fact So tres Charmant, my dear Underneath the moonlight Together, we'll sail across the sea Reminiscing every night Meantime, I ask you to be my valentine You say you'd have to tell your daddy if you can I'll be your Valentino We'll ride upon an omnibus and the casino Get a new facial Start a sensational Seaside rendezvous, so adorable Seaside rendezvous, hu-u-u Seaside rendezvous, give us a kiss