Teri's Birthday- Again with the party

Teri has always held herself to a higher standard. She has always strived to achieve it and one day it will put her in an early grave if she lets it. So when it comes to her birthday I’ve tried to do something special for her. Sometimes I feel like that quote from Winnie the Pooh- “When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.”

I threw a party for Teri last year at Maggiano’s in the Riverside Square Mall in Hackensack NJ. It was a great success, I felt. Teri had time to share with people she is close to. We had a good time. Money being tight this year, I figured I’d throw her a party, but switch it up and order food from the Mexican Restaurant down the street, Sangria. Teri loves Paella and it was a nice family style dinner that would get put on the table and people would just scoop what they wanted. But just that bear, that thinks of things which seem very thingish inside you… it is quite different when it gets into the open. I’m not saying it wasn’t fun, it was. THe food was good and everyone ate their fill and then some. It just seemed less thingish when it got out into the open.

Originally I tried to keep the circle of friends and relatives tight because of cost. I invited Kimmy, and Katie, her cousins. Sallyann, her best friend and her sister, Nancy. Later I thought it was unfair to exclude Sallyann’s family, so I asked Sallyann if she wanted to invite her daughter and Kenny, her husband. By the morning of the party it was a gathering of ten. Teri, who knows about the party, asks me, what am I serving and how I’m set the table? I hadn’t thought much about it and Teri being the intense go-getter that has brought us to where we are today, almost single handedly is not pleased. I didn’t understand, well if I put myself in her shoes I do understand why she would give more than a passing thought to how the table is set. While I’d give it less than a passing thought. To me it was simple: how many people, how many leaves in the table, find a table cloth, it’d work itself out. It’s like when I’d go up the Thruway in the left lane passing the entrance to Spring Valley needing to get to the Garden State entrance with two lanes of cars between me, it and I would work it out. I’d get there. It might be a little intense for a moment or two, but I’d get there. I alway do and mostly in one piece. Teri says she will pick up salad, if I want, I say, “Ok”.

Nastia offers to help. I put two leaves in the table joking with her when her mother saw it the first thing she’d say was, “It’s too big.”, you had to be there. We decide on the nice dishes and are leaning toward the ‘silver’ silverware, because someone lost four of the regular forks and we only have eight. It wouldn’t work with ten people coming. With the table set, I receive a text from Sallyann saying stomach virus can't come. So now we are down to eight and the regular silverware is going to be used. See everything works itself out. I remove a leaf from the table, fold the table cloth in on itself and everything is set. I visited Sangria’s the previous day and they said they didn’t do the family style paella like they did during Covid. I visited them with Nastia about two, the day of the part and was told to come back a little later. Nastia and I go to get cards, see that worked itself out too, while we waited to talk to someone about the order. At 3:30 or so we go back and they tell us they can give us the food in trays, but the price is still the price. I was disappointed. I pay and tell them we’ll pick it up at 6 PM. Back years ago, when Teri and I would go to El Bandido in Spring Valley, the owner would give away free things. They were never hugely expensive, but it was nice, made us feel a little special. One night we were given a shot each of 43. It is a vanilla liqueur, I guess from Mexico. It didn’t matter because then and there a love affair was born with it. For better or worse when my daughters were introduced to alcohol, I introduced them to 43. Mexican food and 43 go together like rice and beans. Or like Nastia and going out drinking. She’ll order 43 when she goes out to drink, if that wasn’t clear. It’s funny how that night at El Bandido has trickled down to Nastia going out drinking.

Well, all eight people show up. Some 43 is passed around. The food I picked up at six is kept warm while we eat salads. Teri wanted me to make a sauce for ice cream that I haven’t made in years. I dug the cook book out from the pile of cookbooks piled in milk cases because with the internet, who needs cookbooks. She wants me to wait to make it. I wait until after dinner. I met the butter in a large frying pan. Add the chopped walnuts and brown them. While this is going on I melt chocolate chips and heavy cream in a double boiler. Who says I can’t do two things at once? When the walnuts are browned, I add the Grand Marnique, tilt the pan to the flame and flambé! LThat night the flame reached the top of the exhaust hood and burned for a good ten seconds. It was fun and a little scary. Something you can drink burns like that! I combine the chocolate and the nuts and it gets scooped over ice cream. It was a perfect way to end the evening. After cleanup, Teri comes over to me. She tells me how she enjoyed people coming together, but she didn’t like people giving her gifts, she called it mining for gifts. I understand and I wanted to tell people not to bring gifts, but I thought Teri would find that tacky. She asked for no more birthday parties. So next year it will not be billed as a birthday party, just a gathering of Laudecker’s.