Are we scared yet?

I have to start this off by saying Nastia didn't send me any pictures, and KJ refuses to do any more drawings of places he's never been, so I used a picture of myself showing me joyfully jumpimg up and down when I hear Nastia and Sean are safe. And the other picture is of my raised bed vegetable garden that I'm very proud of. It has nothing to do with this story. I could never understand, when I was in my twenties, my parents' concern for me when I’d do things, and I did not reach out to let them know where I was, or if I’d be home. It was always, “Ma, I’m fine, don’t worry, nothing happened. I just forgot to call.” Being on the other end of the spectrum gives me a whole new level of hurt. Nastia, and Sean made plans to go everywhere, and anywhere during her two weeks off from work. She’s done it in the past, so it’s expected. She treats it as a time where it's almost like she feels that if she doesn't do everything all at once, there may not be another chance to do it ever again.

During this two week period, she has planned, or is planning to go camping, to the shore, and go fishing in Moriches with me. Most of the stuff hasn’t happened yet, except for the camping, and that has been a big scare for me. Every year for the past maybe two years they have gone up to this camp ground past the Roscoe Dine in or called Mongaup something or other. And right there is problem number one. I don’t know the name of the camp ground. Number two is there is no cell reception in the area. Both will play a big part in the following story. A little more background story before we continue. In the past I’d request a picture of the trail head, or some other information when they went hiking, so as I joked to them, I’d know where to start the search for their bodies. I was also not part of the planning of Nastia’s frantic vacation except for the fishing trip on Thursday. I’d hear bits, and pieces, like “Oh we’re going to the shore on Wednesday… and I’d tune out. Nastia and Sean left Monday or maybe it was Sunday, it could have been Saturday afternoon, too. Are you starting to see the problem?

So it was with all innocence when I asked Elena on Tuesday if she had tomorrow off to go to the beach with her sister? Her reply, “Oh, I forgot.” I didn’t think anything more about it until later in the day, maybe after dinner, (or was it a supper?) No one had heard from Nastia, or Sean, and if they were going to the beach tomorrow, Wednesday shouldn’t they be home already? I called her phone, it went directly to voice mail, same with Sean’s. Should I be worried? I tried again a few hours later, same, directly to voice mail. I text Nastia, I need you to call me. It was 9:40 at night, and I was getting worried.Teri looked so cool, and in control, as my heart started to beat a little too hard. Teri, it turns out, just hides it better. I try calling a few more times before Teri, and I call it a night, and she goes to bed, I go to shower. After my shower, I go upstairs and tell Teri, “I’m going over to their apartment to see if both of their cars are there.” She cooly says, “I was thinking the same.” Her lack of comment about me heading out, and her thinking the same thing, made me pause for a moment. I realized she was just hiding it well, and she was getting as scared as I was. At their apartment, only Sean’s car is there. I return home, and realize I have one more card to play. I ask Elena to track her sister’s phone. She tracks it, and it turns out her phone is off, and it can’t be tracked. At that point, I resign myself to the fact I will have to go to sleep without a resolution to where they are. I crawl into bed, and touch Teri’s arm. She asks,”What?”. I say, “I’m just trying to be reassuring.”, She then lets me in saying, “I don’t need to be reassured, I’m just scared.” I roll onto my back. I feel my heart pounding in my chest. I continue to think of all the bad stuff that could have happened to them. At some point, after about forty-five minutes I know if I’m going to get any sleep, I have to stop. I hear my mother say, ‘It’s in God’s hands’ and try to think of all the good reasons why nothing is wrong. I fall asleep sometime after midnight. I woke up like usual around four AM. I get up and go to the bathroom, afraid I’m going to start obsessing about not hearing from them. Again surprisingly I fall back to sleep. In the morning I go about my usual tasks to get ready for work. I feel like I am waiting for bad news the whole time. At work finally Teri texts, 'they are still at the camp ground.' Her friend Sallyann was able to figure out which camp ground they were in, and give them a call. About an hour or so later Nastia calls me and starts to defend what has happened. I stop her and say, “You have done nothing wrong, it was a misunderstanding, and we were just concerned, and we're glad everything is okay. When the girls were younger, and they went on hikes, I’d make them send me pictures of the trail head, and I’d jokingly tell them it was so I’d know where to send the police to recover their bodies. There were no bodies to recover, Thank God, but guess who’s going to have to text information on where they are going, when they be back, and a phone number next time they go away.