Inside the book of Elena again, a little, with pictures.

Elena has always been the private one of the two. Nastia if she has a secret, wait and she'll maybe tell you. Elena, before she tells a secret, you'll have to go through a few birthdays and then she'll tell you she forgot what the secret is, but I'm sure she now has another secret to keep, like the fact she really didn't forget the first secret. Teri won't agree with me that Elena is a big mystery. She will agree that she is private and loyal and puts up a big tough front that will sometime crumble and she'll start crying disolving into your arms and suddenly her vulnerability is breaking your heart. Is she this really tough person who has a wall of paper mache (for all you neophytes (a person who is new to a subject, skill, or belief.) Paper mache is glue and water with shredded newpaper or use flour and water with newpaper) protecting herself. Sometimes it doesn't feel that way.

There have been times where her and I will get into an arguement and it will escalate to a dangerous point. Once and I talked about it, oh about a year and change ago I came home and didn't realize I was in a bad mood. I went up to talk to the girls about dinner and I find out they are going for a walk. I tell them, the fuck you are. Elena rips into me and she keeps verbally coming at me. I guess I was at her too, I'm not sure anymore. What I am sure of is I almost put her through a wall that night.Looking back at it if I had, I don't think my relationship with Elena and Teri would have ever recovered. They would have changed toward me for the worse and who know how much worse. After that night I promised myself I'd never lose my temper like that again with her. Whenever I feel that anger raising I disengage. I stop talking to her. If she continues on I don't reply. I never want to get that angry at her ever again. Nastia has noticed the difference in how we treat the two of them and I admitted to her that because herr sister never backs down, she gets away with things that Nastia would not. I asked her to not tell her sister that. And since Elena doesn't read this blog either she may never find out.

Elena is a contradiction to me. She has Anami charactors on her car hood and doors. She has T-Rex seat covers. If she gets married she wants a dinosaur wedding (yes, just what it sounds like) and she has a Stitch steering wheel cover. She wears mens underwear and only occationally womens. She is independant, sometimes forgets she is part of a family, she has strong feeling towards Matt. I think she loves him, sometimes she might even like him. When he comes around the house that is when she likes him and he has been around the house lately. Which also means hickies are again appearing on her neck. Such is Elena. She works in a tire place in New City. She normally has few wants. She took a pay cut to move to the tire place, but works more hours. She has more money in the bank then any of us. She has tattoos, she hasn't gotten her complete sleeve yet. All that she has is vines going up her arm.She wants sculls, her mother is trying to convince her out of it. Me, I think tattoos make a persons skin look like it needs a good washing, so I keep my mouth shut. Elena is private. Nastia will say she has her peroid. Only way you know Elena has her's is after she has been unusually nasty in an arguement Teri will say, she is getting her peroid.

Life in a house of women is fun and maddening. I guess women in a house of men/boys have another version of it. I try to be as close to each of them as they will let me. Sometimes I feel real close to Elena. Maybe after I've shown her how to fix something that I learned how to do on my own I will feel there is no barriers between us. Then there will be that time, maybe around dinner time after she has showered and her hands are still a little black from work, her mother will comment about them. "Oh, Elena your hands are still so dirty!". Of course Elena will reply, "I like em like that!" Elena will get testy, all right, nasty and say things that should not be said and if they are said should not be left unanswered. But going down that road leads to damaged walls and broke relationships. A route I never want to travel.So mostly I've learned to sit quietly and let the waves of anger from her wash over and past me. If I ever feel the desire to answer one of her statements and I can't resist or maybe I've forgotten I need to sit this one out. Teri will alway tell me to leave it alone and mostly after the first leave it alone I do, thank God.

Don't get me wrong life with Elena is lots of fun. Someone told Teri that Elena was going to be the one who breaks your heart. I've alway assumed that is in a good way, you know when she does something that is unexpected and just totally out of left field. You'll sit back and go, " My God,what possessed her to do that. I have been so touched by her generosity of spirit sometime that I have no words for it. She is always the one who goes all in for the holidays. I found some Halloween decorations from years past. She saw them and up they went. Now when it comes to taking them down...yeah, well no one is perfect. /