Teri's birthday at Maggiano's and a visit to Nyack Hospital

Saturday March 26th was Teri's birthday. A week earlier she had a stomach problem and she was not able to eat for most of the week. Back in January, I'd asked Nancy to get me the phone numbers of Kimmie and Katie. One Sunday in February, I saw Teri's phone unattended on the kitchen table. I knew her password, just like I know Nastia's and Elena's

passwords,hehe, he (that's just a little evil laugh, I don't look at their phones, check out their texts, look at their pictures...that they know of, really I don't...really!) I check where she phone turns on to so I can go back there. Are there any pages she has open (really I don't go on anyones phones.), quickly I move over to her phone book. In my other hand I have my camera on my phone ready. (No, really I've never done this before.) I need, Kimmie, Katie, and Sallyann's phone numbers. I go in alphabetical order so its quicker. I take several pictures of each number to make sure they are not blurry. I click the pages I visited closed and make sure they are not open in the tabs. I turn the phone over as I place it down so if she comes looking for it before it goes blank, she won't know I've touched it. (NO, really now, I've never done this before.)

I wait until later in the evenings to make most of my texts. Usually Teri is asleep on the couch while we watch TV. I check to make sure my phone is on silent. I glance over at Teri and start my first text. I'm nervous, you know because I've never done this before. I remember back in the olden days when I wanted to throw Teri a birthday party how Sallyann and Nancy told me it needed to be done early, so people could make sure they had the time free. So here it is late on a week day night, six or so weeks before Teri's birthday I start. I pick one person to start with, I think I picked Katie because her name was on top of the list. I text her inviting her to dinner on March 26th for Teri's birthday. I forget to invite Art. I will circle back to him later when I realize that and invite him. Teri is in a place in her life where she needs the important people in her life around her to spend time with. So I invite Kimmy, Katie and Art, Sallyann and Kenny, Sallyann asks if Katie can come. I ask her to wait because I don't know how large this is going to get. I'm fearing more people will want to invite kids. When no one asks, I tell Sallyann yes, Katie can come. At one point we are a party of twelve. Then Amanda says she can't come, then Art says he would rather not go and finally a few days before the 26th Sallyann says Katie is sick and she will most likely not make it.

The party is in doubt up until the last few days even without all of the cancelations. About ten days before her birthday Teri is having severe stomach pains. It gets so bad that on Wednesday she goes to City MD in Jersey. They tell her she has spikes in her EKG and needs to be rushed by ambulance to Pascack Valley Hospital. She says no, she'll drive to Nyack Hospital. They warn her not to. She calls me at home, it is a little after seven, I've just finished making dinner.She tells me what is going on and I meet her at Nyack hospital. At Nyack Hospital they run tests, give Teri an I V to rehydrate her, run an EKG and then we sit, or I sit and she lays down in the bed. I'm not very good at doing hospitals. And yes I know everyone is saying no one is good at doing hospitals, but the difference is I can't hide it. There were times that night I wondered what life would be without her if this all went the wrong direction. I know we all die at some point, but it can't be tonight, please. Teri several times asks me what is wrong or tells me I can go home, but I can't. I remember back to her gallbladder surgery and how unfeeling she felt I was because I had planned to go back to work as soon as her surgery was over. My excuse then was I'd never been in that position before and I didn't know how to do it. This time I tried to be better. A few days later at Teri's birthday party I will joke that the only thing worse then the pain she was in that night was me being there to offer support. No one laughed, I guess you had to be there. The tests start to come back and it is looking better. She is given Maylox and some pills. It seems to be a severe case of acid in the stomach. She is told to follow up with a couple of doctors about somethings and a little after two in the morning we are told we can go.

Now I'm sure you are wondering what happened to the girls? I told Nastia I was meeting her mother in Nyack for some tests. I was very vague. She did call around ten or so and I told her we were waiting for the tests to come back, which we were. I think Elena is called or texted that her mom was in Nyack and we would be home late and that satisified her. I definately wouldn't call them uncaring, but like me back when Teri had her gallbladder surgery, they didn't know how to act and we kept them in the dark about it so they wouldn't worry. At Teri's birthday dinner they were told what happened, so next time will be more difficult. That was Wednesday, about ten days before her dinner at Maggianno's. She still couldn't eatas of th eMonday before her birthday on Friday so I texted everyone letting them know what was going on and that I might have to cancel. As the days went by Teri got better very slowly. The Tuesday before her Saturday birthday dinner she was supposed to go out to dinner with the work people and doesn't. I'm thinking this is not good. Finally, I think on Thursday Teri says she wants to go to Maggianno's for her birthday. I send the word out it is on. Friday Sallyann texts me that her daughter is sick and most likely won't be able to go. She is really sorry and, well what can you do. The once overly big party of twelve has shrunk to seven. I call and lower the reservation to seven. Friday night at three minutes after twelve, I wish Teri happy birthday, She reply is, "Oh Fuck , yeah"

The day of her birthday she goes out to grocery shop and I make sure the girls and I are ready to leave at four. We have a reservation for five I am hoping to meet Kimmie and Katie there at the reservation desk before we sit. We are in the car at maybe ten minutes after four, well too early, but early makes Teri happy. I go into a short speech about how after knowing Teri thirty years as of this November I have learned a few things about being on time and being prepared. Along about that time Nastia asks me if I have her mom's birthday card, I don't. Everyone laughs. Teri allows me to drive to Maggianno's. Teri is not a good passenger and it is her birthday. So half jokingly I ask her how she wants me to go. She says, "Thruway" On the Thruway I get in the middle lane and I am pacing the car in front of me. I am not speeding, I'm going maybe sixty. The space in front of me is quite large. After a while she thinks I'm messing with her and in a laugh says for me to pick up the pace. In New Jersey I'm in the left lane making a left turn on to a two lane road. I make it wide figuring to get into the right lane and cut in front of someone making the left from the lane next to me. He is in the right, I am wrong. After a little while I joke that one of her presents was a relaxing ride to the restaurant and I guess I'll need to get her another present.

We early to the restaurant. Kimmie and Katie are not there. I go the the front desk and tell them who we are and that all of our party is not yet here and to take their time. We wait and wait. No Katie and Kimmie. We are told our table is ready. Teri see it is set for seven and we are five. Elena asks aren't we going to wait? I give her a look. The server comes over and asks if we want drinks as we wait for the rest of our party. I give up and confess to Teri Kimmie and Katie are coming. Sallyann sends her regrets, Katie is sick. A little while later I wave Kimmie and Katie over to the table. Teri gets to pick what food we are to eat tonight, we are doing family style. There is a limited variety of food that is shared by everyone. Teri with consultation from the rest of the group orders a salad, two appetizers, two pastas, two meats and two desserts. Oh, at the meats I'm told to order the two meats I choose Chicken Marsala and Chicken parm. Teri says we can have parm at home choose picatta, which was my second choice. Course after course come and we eat. Nastia eats alot of bread. I remind her what is coming and leave her alone. She will eat a pretty good meal. Teri eats like she hasn't eaten in several weeks and she doesn't feel sick from it. Nastia goes off to teh bathroom and after she comes back the staff at Maggianno's comes over and anounces it's someones birthday and the y sing to her. Teri and I usually don't like that, but other times what are you going to do. The world is good and the food is good. Then we are done eating. I pay the bill. Teri, Kimmie, Katie and Nancy talk. The italian side. The rest of us mostly sit and listen or go on our phones. After an hour and a half they do stop. And decide it's time to go home. We arrived at five, started to eat around five-thirty and it id now after nine. It was a really good night with most of the important people in Teri's life that she needed to be around and talk with.I think she is happy. She does thank me later, no not in that way, but that would of been nice too. /