Wednesday, August 21, 2019

I made my daughter cry

I tend to forget the tough outer shell Elena puts up is just a shell and is really very thin when it comes to Teri and I. So making her cry is not hard, but it is still upsetting.
      Yesterday morning I go to the girls bedroom and wake Nastia up and tell her to make sure her sister signs some papers for RCC and gets them in the mail. She rightly tells me to wake her sister up and tell her. Elena is already awake and tells me she is OK and will do it. I get down close to her face speaking right against her cheek and tell her it again. There are two envelopes on the table next to my computer. open them up. sign them and put them in the mail. She says ok, without opening an eye.
       I come rolling in about quarter to six that night. I didn't feel in a bad mood. Elena is at the table, I think sitting near the doorway to the family room. Across from her are both of the envelopes and they are not opened. I pick them up, look at them for a moment and toss them over to her and tell her in a slightly angry voice "You were supposed to take care of these this morning." She picks them up and begins to open them. After a moment I hear a sniff and I put a hand on her shoulder and ask her if everything is OK. She stands up, teary eyed and angry. I'm a little at a loss. I didn't really yell at her. Elena goes on about how it was just a mistake and everyone makes mistakes, even I do. I take her into my arms half expecting her to push me away. I slide my arms around her back also half expecting her to not respond, but then I feel her arms around me, I feel accepted by her and I hug her a little tighter. I tell her I'm sorry (tear are rolling down my face as I write this, well really just one, I'm a guy after all) and I shouldn't have yelled at her. (I really didn't think I did) She says its not fair for me to come home in a bad mood and yell at her for something so little. (that is true, I've done that before. Today I didn't feel in a bad mood, I think) She calms down and she proceeds with shaky hands to go through the papers. Nastia joins in to help her as I look at the contents of the second envelope trying to be helpful. She signs the papers and I put them in the mail.
      Later that night we go look at a car for her and get sandwiches from a place called B Balls. She puts a mountain dew up on the counter and later when her mother asks why she has that, I say with all honesty, "I made her cry so I couldn't say no."

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