I took Nastia to get a bagel and drop off a job application in Nyack. Elena didn't want a Bagel or to go.
When I get home and walk in the door, I smell smoke. I start running around like a manic deeply inhaling trying to locate where the smell is coming from. I yell at Elena,"Did you burn anything?" She answers "No, I didn't. "
After about ten minutes and a top to bottom search I send Nastia upstairs and quietly take Elena aside and quietly say, "I need to know if you burned anything, I won't yell. The reason I need to know is I wired this entire house and if it ever burned and someone got even a little hurt I'd never forgive myself."
Her response was, " No, I didn't burn anything."
So I push them both to go bike riding telling them to call me in two hours. I put all the dogs outside and begin another search. I'm encouraged that the smokey smell is not getting heavier.
On the floor in the dining room was a burn stick match that Elena was eyeing yesterday, wanting to try and I told her no, they were fifty years old and when I tried one I set the side of the box on fire.
I called Elena and told her I was very hurt by her lying to my face several times, even when I told her why I was so scared.
Fuckin Kids
Epilogue: I sat down with Elena and with Teri on speaker we talked to Elena about why we were making such a big deal of her lighting a match and then lying about it. She broke down and cried, why, I don't know. Maybe she was sorry for lying or all that positive calm talking or we just bored her to tears. ( hey, that's the first good joke in a long time).
Well Teri thought it was a good idea to give a safety lesson and let them light a match. (Lighting matches is becoming a lost art), so I take the girls into the kitchen and tell them about the matches and the danger of these old matches. Elena lights a match after I do, then its Nastia's turn, she is afraid of getting burned and some how I end of wrestling with her to try and get her to light the match. If it wasn't so pathetic, it would be funny. I finally realize what I'm doing and stop. My daughter is in tears and I'm angry. I tell her to go then tell her to come back. I tell her I am sorry a dozen time and it doesn't make me feel any better. I do try to approach the match lighting in a new way by striking the match first and give it to her, she accepts it and I feel a little better. She then agrees to light the match and she holds it for a few seconds then calmly puts it out. Things are better, but her father is not the person I grew up with.
Epilogue: I sat down with Elena and with Teri on speaker we talked to Elena about why we were making such a big deal of her lighting a match and then lying about it. She broke down and cried, why, I don't know. Maybe she was sorry for lying or all that positive calm talking or we just bored her to tears. ( hey, that's the first good joke in a long time).
Well Teri thought it was a good idea to give a safety lesson and let them light a match. (Lighting matches is becoming a lost art), so I take the girls into the kitchen and tell them about the matches and the danger of these old matches. Elena lights a match after I do, then its Nastia's turn, she is afraid of getting burned and some how I end of wrestling with her to try and get her to light the match. If it wasn't so pathetic, it would be funny. I finally realize what I'm doing and stop. My daughter is in tears and I'm angry. I tell her to go then tell her to come back. I tell her I am sorry a dozen time and it doesn't make me feel any better. I do try to approach the match lighting in a new way by striking the match first and give it to her, she accepts it and I feel a little better. She then agrees to light the match and she holds it for a few seconds then calmly puts it out. Things are better, but her father is not the person I grew up with.
Thats hard when you are talking about safety, and not just hers. It's a tough one for you thats for sure.
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