You deserve a break today.

It is less than a week before Christmas and the girls are all prepared for it. They keep asking when we will get the Christmas tree and they keep plugging in the wooden Christmas tree at the foot of the stairs that we use during this festive season as a night light (they do it during the day after I’ve unplugged it).
We went for the tree today. We were going to do it last weekend and it rained and was just awful. This weekend they predicted a major snow storm so it was a good idea that we waited for the last weekend before Christmas to get the tree. I had a delivery to do and after the last one which I have not told you about yet I figured it would be a good idea if I did it on my own. It was over it Port Chester NY so it was done in under an hour and I had some cleaning up to do before the storm. So about noon or so I gather the girls up into the car and set off to get a live Christmas tree. We stop at the nursery over near the junior high school and they have a nice variety of trees, all cut ones. The few trees that they have that are in pots are a little bit over fifty inches and will need just about six ornaments and half a string of lights. It is your classic Charlie Brown Christmas tree, just with more needles on it. We pay sixty-eight dollars for it and load it in the car and off we go. By the time I’ve gotten home I feel it is not the tree we should put up in the living room and Teri agrees. So after all of that we will stick with the fake tree again this year. We do have a memento of this year in a brand new Siberian spruce tree to plant next year.
Now to the part of the trip that I skipped over, this is the slightly grinchie part. We were on crusher road over near Trap Rock when I hear the door open. I pull over and I ask in a not too kindly voice who opened the door? And yes it was Elena who did it. I temper shoots off the charts and I start yelling at her that she could have died if she fell out the door. Blah, Blah, Blah… The one saving grace is I rained in my temper after about three angry sentences. It wasn’t quick enough because she had already started to dissolve into tears. I then took her into my arms and in a quiet voice told her that I could really not live with myself if she died because she fell out of the car. She did have her seatbelt on, but that was beside the point. She calms down and I get her to smile and I ask her if she understands why I was so angry. She nods yes, I hope she really does.
We went a few yards down the street when I notice the open door light is on. I stop the car, open and close my door, no change. Then I open and close Elena’s, no change. I go over to Nastia’s and it is not fully closed. I open it and close it walk around and ask her if she opened her door. She says no and I tell her she is not telling the truth and I head down the same path that I just went with Elena and I continue until Nastia is now crying. It seems… Well I guess I don’t really know if I should have been angry at them. They should have not opened the car door when we were moving but did I have to yell at both of them and have them both in tears on the day we go to get the Christmas tree? I’m glad kids are really resilient. For all the things parents do to f*$k up kids it is amazing any of them ever come out and can live anything near normal lives. I know everyone out there is saying you do the best you can, but that sometimes isn’t enough. And maybe I’m blowing this all out of proportion. Its just that this is supposed to be a magical time full of wonder. I remember so many Christmas where that was true. I really want this one to be special and there is no time. Hell I haven’t even got the one gift I got for my wife yet. It is ready and I just have to get to the store to get it. I haven’t even got gifts from Elena and Nastia for Teri yet. Too much damn work and not time.
There are still a few days left to go before Christmas and I will come through. I usually do.