KJ goes to the beach

It was Labor day, I believe, the weather was global warmingly pleasant, so someone got the idea to go to the beach. Since it was not really ‘the summer’ anymore because as we all know summer starts on Memorial Day, and ends on Labor Day, Teri says, “Hey, lets all go to Rye beach in Westchester. I looked it up on line, as we were leaving, good preplaning, on my part, and all I got were bad reviews. Parking is expensive, the bathrooms are disgusting, it costs a lot to get onto the beach. There was nothing good about the place, and we all should go to Orchard Beach in the Bronx, a couple of miles south of there.

I mentioned these ‘facts’ as we headed toward what promised to be an expensive day, at an awful beach, in an expensive area code.

As the headline read, it was going to be KJ’s first beach day. He was going to go to Sea Side, but his mom had a reason to cancel, I don’t remember. She came along,as did Nancy, Teri, Elena, and I believe Sean was the only one who had to work. In my past life as a milk man, been there, done that, so I felt for him, until I forgot he was working. Like I said, been there, done that, time to enjoy the advantages of working at a 8-5 Monday through Friday job, with Labor Day off.

We got to the beach, before the parking opened. I thought this was the first of many awful things to happen. Then everything changed, they opened parking, and instead of $25.00, parking was $10.00. We get out of the car, walk past the gorgeous pool, and find the rest rooms. I grit my teeth, and walk in expecting to see wallboard torn off the walls, and gaping holes. It is a cool, late summer morning, I walked into the overly air conditioned, still spotless bathroom. I am even able to adjust the air so it is not so cold. The beach did not open until 10, so we waited around the ticket booths talking, looking out at teh beach watching the life guards do late season and yes I willingly accepted the senior discount on my beach pass even though I didn’t ask for it. And yes, it was $10.

The beach never really filled up even as the weather got warmer. KJ was afraid of the whistles the lifeguards used early in the day to run life saving drills. He went into the water at the beach for the first time with his mother, Nastia, and Elena. I watched from the shore in my comfy chair, sipping my water, yes, I’ve had to get mostly away from Diet Pepsi. I keep telling people I started drinking it when it was the health alternative, so I’m safe. Yeah, I know it doesn’t work like that. Sometime after one in the afternoon I went for a walk to see what was around the area. I walked to the end of the Boardwalk where a restaurant and an open dance club were. Prices in the restaurant were above what I’d want to spend. The food truck was the only other alternative, and the food turned out to be very good. Nastia, and Elena joined Teri, and I to eat hot dogs, and french fries, sitting on a bench overlooking the beach with its little waves, on that bright beautiful sunny day. We didn’t stay late, and made it home early.

And finally to the beach we go.

And finally to the beach we go. I started this edition of the blog on August 26th because we were going to the beach for the first time this year. Actually I was going to the beach for the first time this year. Everytime I turned around it seemed Nastia, and Sean were heading to the beach.

We went to the usual Sea Side in New Jersey. We got there early enough, but it was a Sunday late in the season, so the beach was a little crowded. More so than usual. It was also a little windy, so when I set up Elena’s tent, the wind pushed it a little close to some people next to us. I was struggling with everything, and I was going to move the tent, then I think Teri called me and someone else, Nastia, or Elena took over setting it up. When I look over the people are gone, sorry, I was going to move it. I set up my chair, umbrella, cooler, all the necessaries. After the tent Nastia and Elene unfold a sheet, push the edges into the sand and run into the water. I’m still setting up.

Sometime in the distant past I promised Nastia I’d go into the water. As I walked to the water with her leading me, I thought about the last time I’d been into the ocean above my ankles. I remember my mom taking me into the water when I was a little kid, and I couldn’t touch the sand. I knew I’d been in the water after that, but I honestly couldn’t remember. So I ball parked it at about 35-40 years. I walk deeper and deeper into the water. I’m waist deep looking at Nastia, she is still holding my hand like if she lets go, I’ll run back to the beach or a wave will sweep me away.

A wave comes and I ride it floating above it. Nastia says I should duck under it, and let it go over. I’m not ready to put my head into the ocean yet. THe next wave comes, it’s bigger, and starts to push me towards the beach. I let go of Nastia’s hand so I didn't pull her along with me. I brace myself with my right leg firmly planted in the sand thinking I can…but I can’t. As I’m rolling in the surf, it feels like everyone on the beach is looking at me laughing at that fat old man who thought he could resist the ocean, so after rolling what seems like the length of a football field, I pop up like nothing has happened, listening for the audience laughter, there was none. No one noticed except Nastia, and I. I could feel a sting on my knee, but I refused to look at it. Nastia came towards the shore a bit and encouraged me back in the water. On the next wave I ducked under it. I don’t know how long I was out here, but I was tired when I came out. I enjoyed the water, but had little or no interest to go back in later in the day.

Last year for lunch we went to a very good, but expensive place to have lunch. This year we went to a Mexican restaurant where we could sit outside. In the real world the dinner would have been expensive. At the beach it was reasonably priced. Teri and I stayed longer than the others with us. It was relaxing sitting there on the boardwalk watching the world go by talking to Teri. I went into the restaurant to use the bathroom before going back to the beach, and at the bar sat Elena. I’ve seen her at a bar before, but this kind of made me want to tell her to get herself out of this place, and how dare you, you know all of that parent stuff. I just smiled at her, maybe I asked her what she was drinking. I think I told her not to have too much, or maybe that was Teri. Either way she didn’t drink too much. A few hours later we packed up our vast camp and decamped, As the Left head of three headed giant said in the Holy Grail "They buggered off!", and the Third Head replied "So they have! they scampered”

Nastia ans Sean go apartment hunting.

Nastia has been wanting to go and live on her own for a while now, but with bills and not a great salary, it’s been tough.

I don’t remember what changed, it might be that Teri came up with some apartments in a range that were affordable. Maybe it was Teri who kept asking what can you afford to spend on an apartment? If you get the drift, it was most likely, like it always seems to be Teri, the driving force. If it wasn’t for her, I’d still be trying to finish up the paperwork to adopt, wait, no, to get them over here for the summer.

Sean and Nastia found an affordable place in New City to look at and they invited me. While talking I find out they have filled out paperwork they had to pay $500 each for, with the promise the landlord would pay them back. It sounded fishy to me. When he asked for a cosigner, I said yes., I’d be the cosigner. Then the landlord wanted me to fill out the same paperwork. I told him I’d give him my credit score, nothing else. That ended that apartment. I told them to cancel everything they did with him through the bank and get their money back.

Teri gets together with Sally, Sally Ann’s mother. She owns several apartments. She says it is what landlords, what she does when she is looking for a new tenant for her apartments. A few days, maybe a week or so later, they tell me they have a real estate agent who over the next hour or two or so will help them fill out paperwork for future landlords. A few days later, on a Wednesday, I think, the real estate agent has a nice apartment to see in Nyack, at a good price.

We walk up three flights of stairs, they are the back stairs and are narrow. The apartment is small. There is a small shared balcony, the other tenet seems to have taken over completely. Maybe a future problem. The front ‘room’ big enough for a queen or maybe a king bed, with maybe two chest of draws. A small living room, and a small, but functional kitchen. I’m marveling at how nice it is trying to figure out what they can fit in it, when I think Sean opens a corner cabinet and a bunch of about quarter inch bugs scramble for the far corners. My knowledge of cockroaches is you don’t see them if they are alive. I think all that need to be done is a trap or six to fix the problem. Everyone else is grossed out. I don’t know what type of bugs they are so I take my app out and snap a picture. These little buggers are German cockroaches! They also breed so quickly that you’d have to spray every couple of weeks for a while to get rid of them.I am now as grossed out as they are. Everyone leaves quickly.

Nastia on vacation and saying good bye to Uncle Tonny.

Maybe it’s me, or maybe it’s an age, her’s or mine, I don’t know. Nastia seems to not be able to stand still. She is either working or looking to do something when she is not. It’s almost like she is afraid she’ll miss something if she doesn’t keep moving. Sean took a week off. They went camping up past the Roscoe Diner, I think in Mongap? It was 100 degrees during the day here and no lower than 75-80 at night. Up there, I’m sure it was cooler, but you’re upstate and it's cooler. I texted her, asking how she slept the first night. It took a couple of days for her to reply, “It was fine, why?” I didn’t hear much about their camping trip, and there were no pictures. They then went to the shore and there were also no pictures. I assume they had a good time. As June turns to July I looked forward to our annual fishing trip to Moriches Bay on Long Island. For the past two years I’ve cancelled the trip because of the weather. This year we were going come hell or high water. Elena’s new job gives her off Tuesdays and Sean has had Tuesdays of forever, so instead of Thursdays, we were going on a Tuesday. I figured it would be slow, and because of the weather I didn’t reserve a boat until that Monday night. Actually I forgot about it until everyone had gone to bed. I went on their website and to my horror, they had no boats for rent. I thought a Tuesday before the 4th of July must be a big rental day. I was flogging myself for not renting a boat earlier when I realized they are closed on Tuesday. IT’S THEIR SEASON TO MAKE MONEY!! WHY THE HELL ARE THEY CLOSED!! The guy who ran it before them, Gary, never closed in season. I was heartbroken when I told the girls and Sean. Nastia immediately said, “Okay, we’ll go to the beach, want to come?” I couldn’t go and leave Teri, who was watching KJ, that day, and Elena, skipped to sleep in. My biggest fear happened on Tuesday and hopefully will inspire me to keep working for a while. I experienced babysitting JK. It got to the point around Noon or so after I’d had a fight with Teri and KJ and I exchanged throwing toys at each other that I felt it was time to go to ‘Home Depot’ to get something, anything. I came back around 5-6 o’clock. I got a heart cut, walked up five flight of stairs to donate blood to find out they closed the location. Next I went to see my mom. I did something else and figured about 5-6 pm was a safe time to return.

We went to Pearl River to see the fireworks. There was a Four Seasons tribute band that I had to be reminded we were seeing for free. The fireworks started around 9:20. The band was nearing the end of their second set when they played that awful song by Lee Greenwood. In these overly divisive political days one side has sort of adopted that song. There was a story going around that the US government was paying him when they used it when they swear in new citizens, but that was not true as far as I can tell. The song has all of the words to make a MAGA man cry, but it is truly a very poor song. The band wanted to end with ‘God Bless America’, but they were told they’d run out of time.

The night had started to get cold and the quicker it ended, the happier I was. My mom and Bruce went with us. Nancy and KJ were there too. KJ being a handful, but with four people to watch him and no toys to launch, it went off without a hit. The nation is 249, I remember when it turned 200, it seems like just yesterday.

On June 16th, my mom turned 91. We took her out to Sangria's for dinner. She had a good time. I'm not really sure she enjoyed the food. She took most of it home. A few days late we got word that my Uncle Tonny, aged 94 had died. They had a wake for him in Bedford Massachusetts where he spent the better part of 40 years. He’d only recently moved to the panhandle of Florida to be near his kids, grandkids, and I think great grandkids. I met several people I didn’t know when Karl and I went up there to represent our side of the family. My mom said she didn’t want to go, because she didn’t want to see him in a coffin.I can’t blame her. He was buried on Thursday, which would have been his 95th birthday. At the wake they told the story of how his family lied about his age so he could enlist. According to the Air Force he was 16 when he enlisted,not 15, like he was.

One of my favorite stories about him is when he was stationed in New Mexico during all of the UFO hoopla. There was this building that if you got too close to it, crossed a certain line, you’d get shot. Was there a UFO in that building? I guess we’ll never know

That F&*kin pool does it again.

I did everything right last year when I closed the pool. I bought a new cover, pool balloons, everything needed to have a happy Spring/Summer when I opened the pool next year. Sometime around December, the water level starts to drop. I think maybe it’s my imagination, and maybe it will freeze before it goes any lower, neither happens. The weather stays warm and wet. The cover grommets holding the cover from falling into the pool come loose and eventually the cover falls into the pool, dirty water, leaves and all. I know it’s going to be a mess in the

Spring, but I’ll get a head start on it and fix the pool liner, and get a new filter, it’s gotten worn out. Late April, early May I get to work on the pool. I clean the dirty water out of the pool, leaves, whatever else has fallen into the pool that doesn’t belong there. I dream of days past where I’d have both daughters working with me or at least hanging around with me waiting for the pool to be ready to get into. These days, like last year, it is barely used. I had great hopes for this year. I leave several inches of water in the pool so the liner doesn’t shrink. Holes in the pool in the past have been around where the ladder is. I excommunicate the ladder when I find a hole from last year has opened up again and it’s the problem. I give Teri carte blanche to find another ladder. I patch the hole. While doing that the left side of the liner comes loose and with Elena’s help we smooth out the bumps in the floor of the pool near there.

When I patch the hole, it is up against the wall. As it begins to fill, it moves several inches toward the center of the pool. I hope for the best. As the level of the water increases over a week it seems to be fine. No water is leaking out. So on Saturday or Sunday, near the end of May, I go all out and fill the pool to the top. Sunday night it looks wonderful. It’s clean, it’s blue and it’s too cold to swim in. Tuesday coming home from work, I see it has gone down, and there is no question about it.

So it has sat for the last two weeks. Nastia and I got in and walked the pool looking for possible leaks and found nothing obvious. I called a couple of pool companies, one doesn’t do above ground, the other wants $195.00 to patch and there are no guarantees. They said they’d send me a contract, then make an appointment to come patch the pool. We’ll see where this goes.

Memorial Day parade, Boston and going out to dinner with her sister and others.

The Memorial day parade was, as always , forgotten until I heard the music. That is exactly the way it happened. I’m up about 9:30, doing some yard work, because as always I’m behind and Teri thinks the yard looks horrendous. To tell you the truth, I can’t do as much as I’d like to do any more and if I physically can, a lot of times I just don’t want to. Anyway I’m doing something outside and I hear band music and police sirens. I realize it is not just a regular Saturday, it’s Memorial Day Weekend, but not the three day one, just the two day one where there is a parade. I go inside, making sure my feet are clean, knowing Teri is not anywhere near ready to go see the parade. I ask her, and she says,no. I wake up Nastia, and she says, yes. She quickly changes and we get down to the

parade just as it is coming down the street. It’s the usual old cars, old fire fighting equipment and people marching. We see a couple of people we know from bowling marching in the parade, they both wave. We even see Ann, our next door neighbor. She is busy trying to stay in step and doesn’t see us. People next to us comment about how funny it would be if a train came. I remind Nastia that happened a few years ago. She doesn’t remember. I guess she’ll be surprised at how much she did in her life if she ever reads thai blog. She might even be surprised she came from Russia. The parade is quick, and fun.

Now on the real Memorial day weekend, where most everyone has off on Monday, Sean and Nastia have planned to go to Boston. My immediate question is why on a holiday weekend? Sean, through his landlord at the shop, has gotten a deal on a room at a nice hotel. They leave early Saturday afternoon and avoid traffic, arriving around six, I think. They have dinner, and the next day do all of the things tourists do. Nastia sends pictures to Teri, I guess KJ is tired of drawing his impression of places he’s never been. They arrive back home, safe and sound, Sunday night around six or so. Saying they had fun. Nastia buys me a T-shirt and Teri gets a container of Clam Chowder. She eats it the next day, saying it is really good. Nastia, Sean and Elena go out to dinner, but I don’t remember much about it.

That song from 1957 by the Silhouettes- Get a Job or in her case GOT A JOB

It’s surprising how quickly Elena got a job. No, wait, I have to be honest, Teri got Elena a job. Teri got Elena, or at least made Elena aware of the job available at Caliper Tires, and the two jobs I just mentioned. She got Nastia both of her jobs and She got me two out of the three last jobs I have worked. The two job offers are from Lea Toyota and the second at the Jeep dealership in Nanuet. At the Jeep place, she would have been doing the same stuff she was doing at Caliper Tire, brakes, tires, oil changes, that type of stuff. The job at Lea seemed to call to her, my words, not her’s. She said she preferred to work at lea, but her couldn’t say why. The job she would do is very bottom rung, clean cars, put tags in the car and on the keys, set up cars for technicians to bring them into the shop easily. You know, back them into the parking spot, something Teri and I both do and have tried to encourage both girls to do. Well Elena could have learned an important work skill if she had continued to work at backing up into her parking spot.

Elena asked Teri how to tell the jeep place she was not going to take the job. This time she learned a valuable life lesson, how to turn down a job without cutting off a possible job position. Teri even wrote out what she should say. Tomorrow, Saturday, Elena will finish her first week. It’s not an exciting job, she says, but it’s cool or words to that effect. She stopped by Caliper Tire and talked to Sean sr telling him she misses the place, which was sweet of her. As long as the two who do like her are there, Elena is best working somewhere else. It’s funny, I asked Elen what days she works, when she first got the job, she didn’t know, I could but I didn’t ask what she would be making, but I’m sure she won’t know until her first check and even then she might not check it out. She really doesn’t care.

Everybody hurts, sometime*

* R.E.M 1982- I'm impressed with myself. I've used a song from the 1980's. Usually I'm doing songs from the 60's and 70's. Everybody hurts sometime, especially when someone tells you they don’t want you to work at their company any more. It’s easier when you're younger, even though the pain of rejection is worse. I was fired at 16 from my first job, at a typewriter repair store (think about it and you’ll figure out what the business did. I guess it’s like book binding, once it was very important.) because I didn’t know how to work. Nastia was fired from the movie theatres at the mall for cursing at an employee that was bothering her. She also lost her job at Helen Hayes because she picked a child up by the arm and that is against the rules, could have dislocated their arm.

Now Elena got her first job at Stop and Shop. She did an amazing job and was promoted to assistant to a manager. She began to hate the job, took some classes, at BOCES, in automotive repair and got a job at a local tire shop. Most everybody there loved her. The two who were not nice to her gave her grief, so she mouthed off to them. And yes after several years of this, the boss who didn’t like her fired her.

I remember coming home from getting fired at sixteen and going to sleep, I was so upset. I don’t remember what Nastia did. Elena is acting a little quiet, and nicer to the dogs. When we talk about the two people who are responsible for her not having a job, she is less nice, and I can’t blame her. I've been fired three times in my life. The first one hurt, the second one was a shock that came out of left field. The third and hopefully last one I should have known was coming. I was just drifting, looking for accounts in my territory, a territory I wasn’t sure what the boundaries were and a boss too busy with what he wanted to do than to manage his sales staff. After the last firing, I drifted and didn’t try to get a job in the industry I knew because it was dying and I knew it. I don’t want Elena to drift. She is young and does have some time. Her bills are minimal and she does have some money saved. They have both been good at saving lately. I asked Sean one day or night once recently, was he happy. When Nastia mentioned it to me a few days later she made it sound weird, it wasn’t I was trying to point out that most people don’t realize when they are happy, until it has passed and they compare it to where they are now. I, being older, occasionally stop to ask myself if I am happy, and I have realized I’m pretty happy now. Teri and I have financially gotten back on top of things.We’re making plans to fix up the house and maybe retire in it or whatever the future brings. Sean said he is happy, Nastia is almost always happy, I hope, haven’t asked. Elena is always hard to read, she is so much like me when I was her age. She keeps to herself, seems mad a lot of the time. She doesn’t have too many friends. Is not outgoing. Maybe I’m channeling me and she is nothing like me, but I see that person who when she smiles at you can melt your heart. I don’t know how I managed to get here from where I was, and I didn’t have nine years in Russian on my back. She is strong and I hope she knows how much she is loved. And we know how big of a heart she hides. She’ll come out the other side better off, I believe. When KJ goes looking for her he will yell, "Yell-na. The girl who doesn't like kids, likes him and he loves her. Everybody hurts, sometime lyrics When your day is long And the night, the night is yours alone When you're sure you've had enough Of this life, well hang on Don't let yourself go 'Cause everybody cries Everybody hurts sometimes Sometimes everything is wrong Now it's time to sing along When your day is night alone (hold on, hold on) If you feel like letting go (hold on) If you think you've had too much Of this life, well hang on 'Cause everybody hurts Take comfort in your friends Everybody hurts Don't throw your hand, oh no Don't throw your hand If you feel like you're alone No, no, no, you are not alone If you're on your own in this life The days and nights are long When you think you've had too much Of this life to hang on Well, everybody hurts sometimes Everybody cries Everybody hurts, sometimes And everybody hurts sometimes So hold on, hold on Hold on, hold on, hold on Hold on, hold on, hold on Everybody hurts